Business Ideas

My local convenience store superstar

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My girlfriend was staring hard at a piece of bubble gum in her hands. “Malik has been giving me a ton of these lately.”

Malik is a nice Pakistani man who runs the convenience store downstairs. My girlfriend regularly chats with him.

“I thought we were friends,” she said. “He made me look at his wedding photos.”

Malik doesn’t ever ring up what you’re buying. He never gives you a receipt.

​​Instead, he eyeballs the stuff you’re holding in your hands — a bottle of water, two cans of beer — and tells you the total. 7 euro 65 cents. Tomorrow, the same basket of stuff might cost 6 euro 30. Or 9 euro 15.

Sometimes, Malik senses he has overcharged you. And without looking at you directly, he senses whether you feel so too. If he ever thinks he’s gone too far, he doesn’t lower the price. Instead, he throws in something extra — a single-serve cookie, a lollypop, a piece of bubble gum. ​​Lately it’s been happening a lot.

For the past six days, I’ve been milking last week’s copywriting conference for email ideas. I will probably be able to do so until the end of this month.

During the copywriting conference, I saw a half dozen presenters go up to the front of the room to give a talk. At the end of each talk, they all sold some existing high-priced offer.

Most of the presenters offered a discount as an inducement to act now, before the conference ends.

But a few of the really smart, experienced, established marketers didn’t lower the price. That’s an ugly habit to get into. Instead, the most sophisticated marketers threw in something extra — a bonus training, a private consult, a piece of bubble gum — to get you to act now before the conference ends.

Simple, you might say.

But it was the difference between money lost and money made. It was also the difference between the adequate marketers and the superstars.

Anyways, I got an offer for you. It’s one I haven’t offered since last summer. It’s my Email Marketing Report.

If you have an email list of at least 2,000 names, and you would like to make more money from that email list, then this Report might be right for you.

My Email Marketing Report is not cheap. But it’s not shamelessly overpriced either.

That’s why there’s no discount, and no piece of bubblegum as bonus.

Even so, you may choose to take me up on this Report, because you see and decide that it can be valuable for you. If you’d like me to help you make that decision:

https://bejakovic.com/email-marketing-report/

Anonymous personal guru

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“It’s anonymous,” he said. “They never see me or find out who I am.”

I took my face out from the little plate filled with different cheeses. I leaned back in my seat. “So how do you deliver it?”

“It’s just audio of me talking. They don’t see me. And I never say what my name is.”

I was getting excited. “But what about your high-end coaching clients, the ones who are paying you a grand?”

“Yeah, we get on a Zoom call. They do see my face, and I tell them my first name. But they still don’t know who I am.”

During the Gdansk conference, I met a copywriter who’s kind of a big thing on copywriting Twitter. But his Twitter account is anonymous. He only goes by Mercure.

A couple months ago, he launched a couple coaching offers.

The quirky sales page for these offers reads and looks like a detective pulp novel. It’s red font on black background and there’s an mp3 clip at the top, hosted on Soundcloud, that sets the mood with a kind of film noir soundtrack.

The “beginner copy camp” offer sold on this page is 200 euro. The “intermediate copy camp” is 1000 euro.

A bunch of people have bought, at both levels. And they keep buying. Even so, they don’t get to find out who Mercure is.

I’m telling you this for two reasons.

One, because Twitter might not be the meme-filled sewer I always assumed it was. I spent much of the farewell dinner at the Gdansk conference grilling this guy about what he does on Twitter and how. It all sounded very positive.

Reason two is, to remind you that you can do things your own way, and it can still work.

This guy never shares his name online, either on Twitter or to his customers. He never shares anything personal about himself, beyond the fact that he’s a successful copywriter. He says he also never engages in drama or mud-slinging or taking sides.

He has a sales page that looks like it was made by a teenager in 2001 using raw HTML… he makes people submit proof they are actually intermediate copywriters if they want to join his higher-tiered thing… he kicks people out of the coaching if they don’t do the work, and he doesn’t refund them — it’s part of the deal.

And yet, it works.

Maybe you don’t want to get on Twitter. Maybe you have no problem sharing your personal life online. Maybe you like engaging in drama.

All that’s fine. I’m just telling you there really are options. Lots of things can work, as long as you get some of the basics down.

If you want to see some of that in action, then I’ll point you to Mercure on Twitter.

He and I didn’t talk about doing any kind of cross-promotion. He doesn’t know I am writing about him. In fact, we haven’t talked since the farewell Gdansk dinner.

I’m just telling you about him because I think you might benefit from knowing about the guy — either directly, via what he does, or just as inspiration, via how he does it. In case you are curious:

https://twitter.com/MercureCopy

“If you’re a copywriter and you don’t do consulting…”

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On the last day of the copywriting conference in Gdansk, A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos gave his second talk.

As part of the talk, Parris said something encouraging and nurturing:

“If you’re a copywriter and you don’t do consulting — let me put this delicately – you’re a fucking idiot.”

In my email from a couple days ago, I asked readers what they know that they could sell.

I got a lot of responses to that email. Most of the ideas I heard I thought were very sellable. A few I was ready to pay money for then and there.

I wonder what will come of all those ideas. I hope many will in fact turn into something. And maybe Parris’s encouraging and nurturing words above will help somebody transform their sellable knowledge into cash.

If you’re a copywriter… or you like the idea of offering consulting, but something is blocking you… you might like my daily email newsletter. I occasionally share ideas which you might find valuable. Click here to sign up.

The fastest, but certainly not the newest, way to cash

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Day 3 of the copywriting conference.

​​You can’t make an omelette without cracking two to three eggs, and you can’t go to a copywriting conference without getting your brain scrambled with hundreds of different ideas, stories, pitches, open loops that never get closed, jokes, not-jokes, cliches, and important takeaways.

Let me pull it together for a moment and tell you about the fastest way to cash. It’s not the newest way to cash. In fact it’s not new at all. I’m sure you’ve heard about it. But maybe you need a reminder.

Yesterday, one of the speakers, Adam Urbanski, said the fastest path to cash, in his experience, is to sell what you know.

The day before, Barry Randall, who I wrote about in my email yesterday, said something similar.

Barry said that what he does is, learn something, keep it simple, and then sell it. On the other hand, what most other people do is learn something, complicate it, and then get stuck.

I’m not sure those are Barry’s exact words. In spite of 51 pages of notes so far, I didn’t write that bit down. I’ll have to seek him out today and confirm it.

Meanwhile, I have a deal for you:

Sign up to my email newsletter.

When you get my welcome email, hit reply and tell me what you have learned that you can sell. I genuinely want to know.

In return, I will reply to you and tell you a practical tip to make your presentation better if you ever do sell that knowledge you have in your head.

This tip is something that popped up in my head yesterday during Adam Urbanski’s presentation.

Adam’s presentation was excellent and very effective. But I believe with a small tweak it could be even more effective.

​​I won’t seek out Adam today and tell him that — nobody wants an unsolicited critique. But if you like, hit reply, tell me what you have learned that you can sell, and I will tell you what I have in mind.

Curious quirk at a copywriting conference

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“So what do you do?” she asked me.

“Nothing much,” I said.

The cheerful English woman laughed. “But seriously, what do you do?”

I shrugged. “I write. Like everybody else here.”

Her eyes got wide. “But I don’t write anything!”

Last night, I spent a bizarre two hours, standing around with a glass of sparkling water and a plate of little croissants in my hands, talking to anybody who passed within arms reach of me.

I would start a conversation by saying, “Hello, I’m John.” And then I would try to keep that conversation going as long as I could without saying anything about copywriting, marketing, or sales funnels.

Inevitably though, everybody I talked to revealed they are a copywriter within a minute or two.

“I write for a supplement company.” “Oh I work for the Motley Fool.” “I’m in the prepper niche.”

It’s not surprising the restaurant was filled with copywriters. After all, it’s a copywriting and direct marketing conference I am attending.

When I asked people why they are here, many of them said it’s because A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos is giving a talk. Indeed, there was Parris, working the room and chatting with everyone. He had on a colorful shirt. “It’s a Robert Graham,” Parris said. “I put his kids through college.”

At some point, I realized there were two tablefuls of people that had not gotten up during the whole night. I hadn’t talked to anybody from either table. So I went over to one, and asked if I could join.

“Sure,” said the cheerful English woman.

We talked for a while about her Staffordshire bull terriers (9 of ’em!) and about the best years of her life (moving around in a camper van).

And then she asked me what I do. I tried to dodge the question. But eventually, I had to reveal that I too write. She said she doesn’t.

That was my first clue to a curious fact, which became revealed as the night went on.

For some reason, all the copywriters were standing around the bar and buffet. All the business owners were seated at the two tables, and they weren’t budging.

Maybe the copywriters are hungry, and the business owners are not?

Or maybe it was just a quirk of last night?

In any case, if you ever do attend a copywriting conference, and you’re a hungry copywriter looking for work — not my current situation, thank God — then keep this possible quirk in mind. And gravitate to the tables where nobody seems willing to budge.

It’s 8:07am as I write this. In another 10 minutes, the conference is supposed to start. I will be there exactly on time, because I’m hoping for coffee.

Which means it’s time for me to go. ​​

Meanwhile, if you want to read something that I learned from the great Parris Lampropoulos — perhaps the best thing I’ve learned from him — you can find that in Commandment II of my 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters. The book is hiding on Amazon, unwilling to budge from its spot. But if you’re willing to go to it:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

I finally got my first 1-star review

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A few days ago, Amazon started showing Goodreads average ratings for books, right next to average Amazon ratings.

I know this because I have a book on Amazon, called 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters. And every so often, I check how the book is doing.

The Amazon rating for my 10 Commandments book has held steady at an average 4.6 rating, based on 51 reviews. But thanks to the new change, I just found out my Goodreads rating is lower, just 4.45, based on 22 ratings.

I went to see what’s up.

It turns out I’ve gotten my first-ever 1-star review on Goodreads.

The review is written in Serbian, which once upon a time was the same language as my native Croatian. In other words, it’s a language I know quite well.

So here’s what that 1-star review says, as translated by BejakoGPT into English:

===

This book is more like a big ad for copywriters that the author chose as examples. It’s full of outdated tricks and the author openly praises several truly miserable writing tactics — for example, Sugarman’s tossing out a hook to readers about how a female client in a miniskirt came to see him, and he, poor guy, is married and is uncomfortable. And as for what happened next, you’ll find out if you keep reading. Seriously?

Besides this, the author is impressed how Gene Schwartz made a pile of money in the 1950s and bought a penthouse while writing ads for only 3 hours a day. Knock knock, 2022 is calling and it wants to know, are you for real?

Beyond that I won’t comment on the uncreative direct response tricks which were cheesy even in the 50s, I cringe at those texts. (“Did you catch that? We started out talking about clever ways doctors keep from getting the common cold. Now we’re talking about preventing cancer and Alzheimer’s. […] That’s a giant claim. Very likely, it would sound like hype if it came right in the headline. That’s why it takes an A-list copywriter like Parris to hold off on making this claim. He waits long enough that he can be sure his reader will believe him.” WHAT THE ACTUAL…)

===

“Seriously? Are you for real? WHAT THE ACTUAL…” To me those sound like the arguments of a 14-year-old, indignant about her 10pm curfew.

No sense in bickering with a teenager.

Fortunately, several adults have also read my book. Some of them have even written reviews. Right below the 1-star review by the 14-year-old, I got a 5-star review by an adult:

===

A great book for experienced copywriters who are looking for a quick refresher on the different styles with many examples from copywriting legends.

I’m subscribed to Bejakovic’s emails – and while I’ll admit I rarely check my inbox, I did happen to come across this one advertising this book, and I’m glad I did.

===

And right below that one, I got a 4-star review, also by an adult:

===

Short and very pertinent. Loaded with the names of hugely successful giants of the copywriting world and the titles of their successful books. I read the book on Kindle and highlighted many great bits of advice and the names of the great writers sharing advice. If you write ad copy for a living or hope to do so, buy this book.

===

Knock knock.

2023 is calling.

It wants to know, do you have a copy of my 10 Commandments book yet?

If you don’t, you can get one, and all the cheesy and outdated tricks inside it, at the link below:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

I thought “fake news” was stupid but this is not

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A few weeks ago, I was reading an article about Ozempic, the diabetes drug that celebs are using to lose weight quick and easy. The article appeared in the New Yorker, which is not ashamed of its left-leaning proclivities.

One of the points in the article is that the main harm from obesity is negative perception both by doctors and obese people. In other words, it’s not the fat that’s the real problem.

​​To make its point, the article used the following statistics sleight-of-hand, which put a smile on my face:

===

A recent study examined subjects’ B.M.I.s in relation to their blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and insulin resistance. Nearly a third of people with a “normal” B.M.I. had unhealthy metabolic metrics, and nearly half of those who were technically overweight were metabolically healthy. About a quarter of those who were classified as obese were healthy, too.

===

A few years ago, there was a lot of fuss over fake news. I always thought that fuss was stupid. Predictably, it has passed now.

I’m not advising anyone to write fake news or to make up stuff.

But you can and in fact you must spin. You must twist facts and figures, cherry pick quotes and stories, and direct and misdirect your readers’ attention at every step.

Not only to make your point, like in that “metabolically unhealthy” quote above.

But also to give people what they want. I mean, I read the New Yorker because I find the articles interesting and horizon-expanding. But I also read it because I enjoy agreeing with the writers’ points of view, and I enjoy even more disagreeing with their point of view.

I hope I’ve managed to get you to disagree with at least some of the points I’ve made in this email.

But if I’ve just managed to make you agree, I’ll have to settle for that today. Tomorrow, I’ll work to do better.

That’s the beauty of writing a daily email. You have a chance to constantly get better at influencing your audience, and to make your case anew, and to get people to agree or disagree with you. If you want to keep agreeing or disagreeing with me, starting tomorrow, you can sign up to my daily email newsletter here.

If you consider yourself a paid traffic expert

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If you consider yourself to be something of a paid traffic expert, or you want to be seen as such, I’ve got a lead gen/business idea for you.

​​I’m giving away this idea. You’re free to use it. In fact, I hope you do.

Here goes:

1. Start a newsletter. Call it “Classified Growth” or something sexy like that.

2. Go around, finding other newsletters that sell classified ads. There are hundreds or thousands of such newsletters, but they are not organized, and they often do not make it known they sell ads. You might have to email them and ask or suggest it.

By the way, I’m not talking about big featured ads like you can find inside Morning Brew, which have a big photo and hundreds of words of copy, and which are really intended for rich brand advertisers. Databases of newsletters offering those kinds of ads already exist.

​​I’m talking about small, classified-like ads, 100 words max, no picture, which can be integrated into the content of a newsletter, which are likely to cost a few hundred to maybe a thousand or so dollars, and which are perfect for advertising to get dedicated newsletter readers. As far as I know, there’s no source to tell you where to find those.

3. Each week, send out a new issue of your newsletter. Publish the latest classified ad opportunities you’ve found, and link to a page where you keep a running list of all the previous classified ad opportunities you’ve found.

4. Add in a little intro paragraph to each issue with your own voice so people know who you are. Casually mention any status-building things that happened to you or to your newsletter over the past week.

5. To grow your newsletter, do a good job implementing 1-4 above for four weeks, then email me and I will promote your newsletter to my list for free. I’ll also give you the contacts of 10 other people with sizable email lists who are likely to promote your new newsletter for free.

6. After you start getting people onto your newsletter, to monetize, sell your own consulting services or products or community, or sell ads, or sell affiliate offers.

The cons of this:

You’re likely to attract people who are at the early stage of newsletter growth. This means they are unproven and uncommitted — they might fail or quit.

​​And if they do succeed, they are likely to outgrow your newsletter and focus on other newsletter growth strategies that are easier to scale. That’s why I say this makes sense if you want to offer services or products around paid traffic and can use this as a lead-gen method.

The pros:

There is clearly demand. I would subscribe and read this newsletter each week, and others would too.

​​There are literally thousands of people with newsletters hoping to grow, and hundreds more joining every day. And since we’re talking about paid traffic, you’re likely to attract a serious segment of that audience, who might even have some money to spend.

So that’s my business idea for you. Again, I hope you run with it, because I would love to see it happen.

I’m currently working on growing two newsletters — the one you’re reading, and a second one that’s still in a bit of stealth mode, about a health topic.

In the past, to grow various newsletters I’ve had or have, I’ve run Facebook ads, solo ads, Twitter ads, paid “recommendations” like they have on Substack, banner ads, and classified ads in other newsletters.

The classified ads in other newsletters win in terms of quality of traffic.

The problem is, classified ads take time and are not scalable, but a resource like the one I describe above could help.

​​At the same time, it could help you build your own list, quickly, with highly qualified and valuable leads, that you could then monetize into submission.

Speaking of which, if you do launch the above newsletter, you’re likely to have more success selling your services or products if you drive your readers to a second, daily email newsletter like the one I write each day.

If you’d like to see how I do that each day, so you can model what I’m doing to make money, you can sign up to my newsletter here.​

Clicks of the dial

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Another day, another Airbnb.

​​Today I am in Warsaw, Poland because it was one of the few places in central Europe that won’t be raining for the next five days. And five days is how much time I have until I go to Gdansk for my first-ever live event to do with marketing and copywriting.

This morning, I woke up, carefully stepped down the circular staircase from the second floor of the apartment to the ground floor, located the inevitable Nespresso machine, popped in a capsule, and made myself a coffee.

And you see where this is going, don’t you?

If you have anything to do with marketing, you should. It’s a basic topic, so basic that I in fact wrote about it in the first month of this newsletter, back in September 2018.

The same marketing model is shared by Nespresso, by King Gillette’s safety razors-and-blades empire, and by info publishers like Agora and Ben Settle. They all promise you almost-irresistible sign-up premiums in order to get you paying for a continuity offer.

You almost certainly know this. Many people have talked about the same. It’s obvious. I won’t belabor the point.

Yesterday, I promised to tell the bigger point behind such models — models which might seem obvious, when somebody else points them out to you.

There’s a document floating around the Internet, legendary marketer Gary Halbert’s “Clicks of the Dial.”

It’s a collection of Gary’s “Most Treasured ‘First-Choice’ Marketing Tactics.”

I read this document once. I even shared a link to it in this newsletter last year.

But I never really got much out of Gary’s “Clicks of the Dial” list. I doubt the hundreds or thousands of my readers who downloaded Gary’s “Clicks of the Dial” got much out of it either.

That’s because there’s a big difference between, on the one hand, reading, nodding your head, and saying “hmm good idea”… and, on the other hand, observing, thinking a bit, and writing down your own conclusions.

So my point to you today is to open a new text file on your hard drive. Title it “Clicks of the Dial.” Break it up into three columns to start.

Name one column “traffic.” Name the second “conversion.” Name the third “consumption.”

And then, each time you go for a coffee, or a bagel, or a haircut, observe an obvious business or marketing practice you’re exposed to. Odds are, it’s been proven in hundreds or thousands of different situations. “Chunk up” that practice to make a model out of it. And write it down in your list in the appropriate column.

Gary Halbert’s entire “Clicks of the Dial” list was something like 20 items.

In other words, it won’t take you long to fill up your own “Clicks of the Dial” document to full.

​​Very soon, you can have a list of core business and marketing strategies, that you can cycle through, and solve pretty much any marketing problem by clicking the dial.

​​And since you put this list together yourself, based on your own experiences, it will actually mean something to you. Eventually, you might even appear to others to be a marketing jeenius like Gary himself.

As for me, it’s time to go get a brownie. I have a long list of food recommendations for what to eat in Warsaw, but only a limited amount of time and stomach space to do so.

Meanwhile, if you have no more interest in reading anything from me, because you’ve determined to learn all of marketing and copywriting by observation and thinking, there is nothing more I can tell you, except farewell and good luck. On the other hand, if you do want to hear from me every day, with more ideas and occasional inspiration, you can sign up for my daily email newsletter here.

Free chocolate traffic and distribution model

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Yesterday morning, my friend Sam and I were sitting at a cafe terrace that hangs over the waters of Lake Lucerne. We were getting a coffee while waiting for a boat to take us down the lake, to the bottom of a big mountain, which we would attempt to scale.

Of course, this being Switzerland, we each got a little chocolate next to our coffees. Well, I got a chocolate, but for some unfair reason, Sam got two.

Our three little chocolates were all the same size. Later, at much higher altitude, we would find out they were also the same flavor. But each of the three chocolates had a slightly different design on the wrapper.

One was light blue and had a picture of a locomotive. That chocolate was advertising a “guest house and games paradise.”

The second chocolate was white with an elegant font. That was advertising a rentable space to hold events.

The third chocolate was also white but a bit more flashy in its font. That was advertising a “shopping restaurant.”

Since my mind has been entirely warped by thinking and writing about marketing every day, I noticed this and I thought about the underlying model. It’s this:

1. Take an expense for other businesses (for cafes, little chocolates next to each coffee)

2. Provide that thing for free both in terms of cost and effort and risk (the chocolate tasted good, and the design was classy)

3. Use the thing for traffic/distribution/advertising for your a product or service of your own choosing (“gasthof und spielparadies” on the wrapper)

You might say this is nothing special or unusual. But you can get creative.

For example, many people used to pay a few dollars a day to read the Wall Street Journal (1). Then some guys made a free email newsletter with the most important news of the past 24 hours (2). In between the news segments they also put in ads (3). The result was Morning Brew, which sold a controlling stake for $75 million a couple years ago.

Back in the Barcelona supermarket I go to, you can get free bubble gum (1 and 2) at the store, along with various other small items, if you download an app that tracks you and serves you ads for other products (3).

Then there’s the offer I made a couple months ago, to help businesses add in a “horror advertorial” into their cold traffic funnel for free (2) — a service I would normally charge a lot of money for (1) — if they would also insert an email into their welcome sequence to promote my new newsletter (3).

And finally, there’s an idea I’m planning for the future, to offer syndicated content (1) to businesses for free (2), as a means of advertising that same new newsletter I’m working on (3).

In other words, this simple little chocolate idea has broad applicability when you start to think about it.

But there’s a bigger point, too.

The bigger point is— well, I will talk about that tomorrow. No sense in jamming two good ideas into one email.

I’m approaching the Zurich airport as I write this. It’s time to leave this rainy but beautiful country. The train I’m on will be six minutes late in arriving, and the conductor just came alive on the PA to announce that shocking delay and to apologize in German, Italian, and English.

If you want to read my email tomorrow when it comes out, you can sign up for my daily email newsletter here.