Ben Settle

A name-dropping Internet troll sets me up for a layup

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Over the past few days, I’ve been sending a lot of emails about Copy Riddles. It’s obviously wearing thin on a few sets of nerves, because I triggered the following response:

Hi,

You love to name-drop in these emails, Caples and Kennedy today, Halbert and others on other days.

But here’s the thing . . . all you’re doing is repeatedly trying to sell your ‘Riddles’ program. Those guys whose names you like to drop, do this MUCH better than you. In fact, if your program is no better than these emails then no thanks.

Go read some stuff from Settle, Tony Shepherd and Andre Chaperon. Lots to learn from these guys.

All right, since you asked for it… let me dig through my Ben Settle archives and see what Ben might have to teach me. Yep, there it is:

Over the years, several readers have observed how much I get an almost sadistic glee and excitement when trolls pick fights with me (besides profiting form them, they’re entertainment, more interesting than TV).

A few have even asked how I can possibly enjoy it so much and not get angry, etc.

My answer?

It’s easy to do when you realize they are really talking about themselves, and are simply projecting their miserable lives onto you.

For years now, Ben has been beating the drum about the fact that Internet trolls always project. And I’ve heard his message, loud and clear. So I can conclude my own troll above:

1. Loves to name-drop all the famous copywriters he knows about

2. Would like to take action (sell something, write copy) but is too afraid that everyone else is MUCH better than him

3. Routinely gets sucked into buying the next program that sounds sexy — “Lots to learn from these guys!” — instead of actually doing anything with all the info he has already bought

In case you’re wondering:

No, I haven’t yet graduated to feeling glee and excitement when a troll picks a fight with me.

But when a troll sets me up for a layup, like today, I feel it would be disrespectful to Ben, a guy I’ve learned a lot from over the years, not to profit from it.

But let me get back to trying to sell my ‘Riddles’ program.

The fact is, the whole point of Copy Riddles is that it’s based on a simple exercise. You write bullets based on source texts, and you get a chance to compare what you’ve written to what famous, name-droppable, A-list copywriters have written.

Yes, I also include a lot of guidance and my own interpretation of what exactly the A-listers are doing.

But you don’t have to like my writing to get value from Copy Riddles.

Because the biggest value in Copy Riddles comes from doing the exercise. Well, from doing the exercise… and then putting your new skills into some kind of real-life context, where they actually have a chance to make you money.

I doubt that will ever happen for my name-dropping troll above.

But perhaps you’re ready to do some actual work and then profit from it. If so, then you’ll want to know that enrollment for Copy Riddles closes later today, at 12 midnight PST.

To get in while the doors are still open:

https://bejakovic.com/cr

Why do scammers say they are from Nigeria?

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According a site that tracks online fraud, 51% of all scam emails mention Nigeria.

It seems self-defeating. Everybody knows it’s a scam. The “Nigerian prince” has become a stock joke.

So what gives? Are scammers so dumb? Don’t they know that everyone is on to them?

Well, we now have the answer, thanks to Cormac Herley, a researcher at Microsoft.

Herley came up with a mathematical model of the scammer’s dilemma.

And after a lot pencil sharpening… crumpled-up papers… and banging his fist on the desk… Herley finally solved his mathematical equations.

The answer to “Nigerian scammer” riddle is this:

1. Sending out spam emails is pretty close to free.

2. But “selling” the prospects who reply to those emails takes time and effort.

3. And so scammers want their front-end marketing to repel everybody but the most gullible. Because…

Those are the only people who the scammer can hope to profit from. That’s why scammers say they are from Nigeria… exactly because it sets off warning sirens to almost everyone except real prospects.

Ok, maybe this isn’t the kind of mind-blowing conclusion that required a bunch of fancy math.

But still, it sounds like a solid second argument for what Ben Settle calls repulsion marketing.

The first argument is psychological:

By saying things that repel the people you don’t want… you create a tighter bond with the people you do want. Because if you’re not saying anything to piss off a few people, you’re not saying anything to make anybody bond with you, either.

But the Microsoft research gives us a more practical reason to repel.

Because these days, there are a bunch of ways to get a bunch of free prospects. For example:

You can implement Daniel Throssell’s “Referral Magnet” strategy to create a kind of flywheel for new email subscribers…

Or you can post your stuff on your blog and let Google serve it up to the world forever…

Or you can go into popular Facebook groups, and spread your peacock tail for all to admire.

Free. All of it. But then comes the second step:

Fielding questions/requests/offers from prospects… dealing with customer service… handling refunds if you offer them.

All of these things have a real cost, whether in terms of time, actual work, or simply your psychological well-being.

So my takeaway for you is:

Start repelling people. Or get off my list.

Because as freelance forensic consultant Sherlock Holmes once said:

“When you have eliminated all who would be impossible or improfitable to sell, then whoever remains, however improbable, must be your prospect.”

Are you still reading?

Damn. I tried so hard to repel you. In that case, the only thing left for me to do, even though it hurts me to do it, is to offer you a spot on my email newsletter. Click here and fill out the form.

If they pirate, they pay attention

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Here’s a confession from a once-broke, today-very-rich Internet marketer:

I was living in an apartment that cost $250 a month.

And I had about a month’s worth of living expenses left.

So I couldn’t afford to shell out the $2k it cost to buy any of Dan’s courses.

So I did something I’m not very proud of these days – I went to the dark parts of the web and torrented his stuff.

I found his advanced sales letter course…

His Wealth Attraction course…

Lastly I downloaded his holy grail – Influential Writing – which in my mind is the greatest information marketing course ever made.

I went through all of these on repeat for months.

Anytime I was working, I’d be listening to a Dan Kennedy course.

Maybe you know who wrote this. It’s Justin Goff.

Justin wrote that email a couple years ago, the day the whole direct response world thought that Dan Kennedy had died.

Justin also thought Dan was dead. So he wrote an ode to Dan, and said Dan was his “greatest mentor.”

And I can believe it.

I can also believe that it was Dan’s stuff that helped Justin get successful. That without it, Justin might not have made it, at least not as quickly and as richly.

In the marketing world, it’s popular to say, “If they pay, they pay attention.”

It’s also popular to mock those who pirate, steal, and share paid content. Here’s a recent bit from Ben Settle on the matter:

These criminals all end up fetching peoples’ coffee or begging for change for a living eventually. Bums to the end. Irony is, if they spent half as much time working on themselves & a legit business as they do pirating products, they’d be multi-millionaires many times over.

Writing this makes good business sense for Ben.

But obviously, not everybody who pirates stuff winds up begging for change (see Justin above). And vice versa.

Many people who honestly pay for stuff get nothing from their purchase except the rush of handing over their money.

And in case you’re wondering what I’m getting at, let me tell you a personal story:

A few days ago, while surfin’ the Internet, I surfed upon a membership site that claims to have the recordings of the Influential Emails training I held last November.

I don’t know whether this site actually has a copy of the recordings and resources I shared with people after the training ended… or whether they just copied my sales page and are baiting people into handing over their credit cards.

And I don’t really care much to find out.

Because I feel I’ve done right by the people who paid to join me for Influential Emails. Those who joined me, who paid attention, and who end up implementing the ideas I revealed… will profit much more than what they paid me.

At the same time, I respect the fact that they gave me their money. That’s why I don’t entertain requests for free copies of my paid stuff… or even offer discounts on the current price.

But on the other hand, if there is somebody out there who does pirate my stuff… and ends up profiting from it also… well, I won’t set my hair on fire about it.

​​In fact, I imagine I will still somehow benefit from it, in some unseen or indirect way, somewhere down the line.

So my point for you is:

Pirate all you want.

No, wait, that’s not actually my point. My point is:

Pay attention to the good information out there, whether it’s available to you for free or whether you have to pay for it. And then — key point — put that information to work.

Or don’t. Because maybe you’re ok with fetching other people’s coffee. Of course, maybe that won’t happen to you.

In any case, let me make you a free offer right now:

My Copy Riddles program will be re-launching later this month. I’m trying to get a few more people to find out about it before it gets pirated and shared into oblivion.

And if you help me get the word out, I’ll give you something in return.

This free thing will only benefit you if you consume it… and then put it to work.

But if you do that, it could lead you to self-respect, ongoing client work, and thousands of dollars in your pocket. For the full details:

https://bejakovic.com/free-offer-niche-expert-cold-emails/

Great re-reads

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“The richer part of the promises you’ll make is the part that pulls the strings from behind the curtain. Friendship and status among your peers. Confidence and freedom from worry. Inclusion. Safety and security. Even just the feeling of association to people you admire and respect.”
– Michael Masterson and John Forde, Great Leads

I’m re-reading Great Leads right now. It’s my third time around reading and taking notes from this book. Even so, last night, I was shocked to read that passage above. It felt like I’d never seen it before. Which means…

1) This passage was secretly inserted into the book since I last read it (very unlikely) or…

2) My eyes carelessly skipped it the two times before (somewhat unlikely) or…

3) I was daydreaming both times while reading it (somewhat likely) or…

4) At those earlier times, I just didn’t grasp the deep significance of what I was reading (very likely).

In fact, my brain might have glossed over this passage even this third time.

​​Probably, the only reason I was finally able to see it is because I was writing about the same stuff only a few days ago. (If you’re curious, check out my emails from Dec 31 and Dec 29.)

So my point is that there is much value in re-reading books, and then re-reading them some more. And not just because you might be forgetful… dull of understanding… or careless the first few times around.

The way I think of it:

The ideas in a book, and the presentation of those ideas, are like seeds. And your mind while you’re reading, and the circumstances of your life at that time, are the soil in which those seeds can land. And for each seed, there is a different season for fruitful sowing.

In other words, if you revisit a good book, even one you’re sure you know well, the harvest can be bountiful. You can find good ideas that you couldn’t appreciate earlier. Or you can remind yourself of good ideas you had seen before, so they become a deeper core of who you are.

In this way, re-reading good books can create transformative changes in your life and business. Because many valuable ideas are simple. You just need to be reminded to apply them, and results will follow soon.

But maybe you knew all that already. And maybe by telling you this, I’m just making you feel a little guilty, instead of actually motivating you.

So let me tell you that in my experience, re-reading books is actually fun and exciting. You discover stuff, like that passage above, that couldn’t have been in the book before.

Re-reading good books also gives you confidence and satisfaction. You are following the advice of industry giants like David Deutsch, Ben Settle, and Parris Lampropoulos… so you know you are building a valuable habit.

And rereading books can even make you feel a little smug and superior — in a perfectly healthy way — compared to both your earlier self and to all those other people who aren’t willing to do this.

But do as you think is right.

Maybe you really are too smart to get value out of a second or third re-reading of a book.

But if you are not, then I’d like to talk to you. Because I feel like we might be kindred spirits.

So if you already have this habit, or if you’re planning on starting it now, write in and let me know. I’ll tell you a few of the best books, both persuasion and non-persuasion related, that I’m re-reading now and will be re-reading soon.

And by the way, if you’re puzzled by why I would tell you all this, you clearly need to re-read Great Leads. It’s right there on page 83, before the analysis of Vic Schwab’s How To Win Friends & Influence People ad.

But if by some cruel twist of fate you don’t have your own copy to reach for, here’s a very smart way to invest $11.42:

https://bejakovic.com/great-leads

My menage a trois with a jilted old ex

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In spite of my subject line above, there’s nothing lurid about today’s email. So if you are expecting sex and drama, it might be best to stop reading now.

On the other hand, if you’re in that small minority of people who get all hot and bothered by personal development topics, then it might be worth pressing on.

If you’re still with me, then let me set the scene.

Two years ago to the day, I wrote an email with the subject line:

“Why goals and I broke up and are no longer talking”

In that email, I wrote about how I’m ghosting goals. They never worked for me.

Instead, I decided to move on to a new relationship with what James Altucher calls “having a theme.” It’s a general direction you want your life to move in, without specifics, numbers, or deadlines.

Then exactly a year ago, I wrote an update with the subject line,

“2021 un-goals”

In that email, I gushed that my new relationship with themes was going great and was getting serious. I had moved forward significantly in each of the three themes/directions I had set for 2020.

But was this just the happy honeymoon period? Or would my new love affair last?

As I wrote a year ago, there was only one way to find out. Back then, I decided on three new themes for 2021, and I promised to write an update when the time comes.

Well the time is now.

So if you’re curious, I’ll tell you about my past year, and and how my relationship with themes developed. And maybe more importantly…

I will also tell you the fundamental mental shortcut I use to decide on many of life’s difficult questions. It might give you a new perspective on some important topics.

First the update. Here are the three themes I had for 2021:

1 Partnership. In a nutshell, I decided to stop doing everything myself. Instead, I wanted to partner up with other people and businesses… contribute what skills and resources I have in abundance… and let them do the same.

Without getting bogged down in details, let me say I got all the partnership opportunities I could want. And none of them led anywhere.

But I ended the year with a new partnership agreement — something that has the potential to be big. I’ll write more about that in the coming weeks and months.

2. Ability to produce. This is Dan Kennedy’s idea, which I heard via Ben Settle, that the only security you have in life is your ability to produce. As for my ability to produce in 2021:

I wrote 365+ of these daily emails… ​I created the 8-week Copy Riddles program… ​I held the Influential Emails training…

… ​​and that’s along with various bonuses I recorded and a few podcast appearances I made and a mastermind coaching I did. ​​Plus there was client work for 2 primary clients and a few odd jobs, here and there.

3. Redacted for being too personal and revealing. I seem to be building an online reputation as a hermit who’s afraid of divulging personal details. So I can’t disappoint you by sharing too much about my real life right now. Let me just say this third theme/direction was personal and went absolutely nowhere. In fact, it went backwards. A complete failure.

So to sum up:

Like with every other relationship I’ve ever had, year two of going steady with themes turned out to be a mixed bag. A few great moments… a few bitter fights… and a lot in between.

Which leads me to that mental shortcut I mentioned, or rather, a lens through which I view the world. Before I reveal it, let me warn you:

This is not something that sells very well. You won’t hear me preaching it for the rest of the year. But I believe it to be true, and since today is January 1, I am willing to admit to it. It is this:

Long-standing questions don’t have simple answers.

For me, this applies to many areas of life. But specifically, it applies when trying to decide which path is the right one:

Is it better to be flexible or disciplined?

Does real success come from self-acceptance or self-development?

Is freedom the greatest good or is it comfort and safety?

My brain wants simple, black-and-white answers to these questions. It would save me so much thinking.

But the truth is that deciding between these opposite poles is an ongoing struggle. It requires attention, effort, and care. And ironically, by accepting that fact, I often save myself a lot of grief and wasted time.

And this brings me to 2022, and that menage-a-trois I mentioned in the subject line.

Themes and I continue our relationship. We are trying to make things work.

But I’ve invited that old jilted ex, goals, back into my life. I want to see if somehow the three of us can live happily together.

So I have three new, general themes for my 2022… and I’ve also set two specific, quantifiable, deadline-based goals.

Will this polygamous relationship work out? Or will it end in plates being thrown and my clothes getting tossed out the window? And what exactly are my themes and goals for 2022?

Only one way to find out:

Like I did on January 1 2020… and January 1 2021… and now, today… I will write another email in a year’s time about this personal topic. And if you can wait that long, sign up for my email newsletter, and you will find out the whole story then.

Well, except for any revealing, personal info. That will have to be redacted. I have my hermit persona to protect and develop, after all.

A simple habit for enjoying yourself at parties and inventing almost irresistible offers

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Today I want to tell you how to enjoy yourself at every party you go to from now on… and how to come up with offers that your market is 98% sure to love.

Let me set it up with a bit of drama:

A few days ago, a friend I have from my decade of living in Budapest, Hungary, forwarded me a screenshot of the following Instagram post.

The post was written by a Lainey Molnar, a Hungarian illustrator now living in the Netherlands.
​
​Lainey became an Internet star recently because of her “women empowerment” illustrations.

As an Internet star, she was fielding some Internet questions recently. One question was why so many Hungarians choose to move away from the motherland and live abroad.

​​Lainey responded:

​Because the mentality is simply unbearable for anyone who aspires for a healthy psyche (and let’s not get stared on the political system, we already clocked in like 12 years with a Trump before Trump)

It’s a culture of mediocrity, always dragging everyone down. They’re jealous, petty, always blame everyone else for everything, They constantly gossip, meddle, and walk over others for gain. Brrrrr, I can’t stand being there for more than a few weeks.

So here’s what got through my skull:

If Hungarians really are as miserable of a people as Lainey makes them out to be — not true in my experience — then going by the tone of her two paragraphs above… she sounds like a perfect Hungarian, whether she lives in Amsterdam or Budapest.

And that’s my point for you today:

Whatever the apparent topic of conversation, people are almost always talking about themselves.

Once you realize this, you can have fun at every party, just by listening to others and asking yourself… what is this guy really saying? What is he revealing about himself that he doesn’t mean to?

And same thing with your customers and prospects.

Everything they say about you… your competition… the world at small and at large… is mostly about them.

And just by listening or, as Ben Settle likes to say, reading between the lines, you can get a lot of valuable intel. Intel you can use to inform your marketing and your offers… and give people what they truly want — even if they could never express it directly.

At this point in my emails, I usually like to take the core idea I am talking about and do a demonstration. But today, we can do the opposite.

If you like, you can probably read this very email, and find I am talking about myself. Maybe in ways that I didn’t even mean to expose, some perhaps quite negative.

So if you have some insights that you’ve gleaned about my personality through this email or other emails… and if you want to shock me with them, I am here, ready.

Just write me directly and fire away with your piercing observations. Do it for me. And do it because you will be starting a habit which will benefit you for years in your personal and business life.

Everything is free

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I know a lot of people in the marketing world worship at the altar of Seth Godin. I myself have had no contact with that religion, until today.

Today, I read an article that Seth wrote earlier this month, with a provocative title:

“Customer service is free”

Seth says that because of word-of-mouth and the value of loyal customers, you should stop looking at customer service as a cost.

That’s a point I’ve heard Ben Settle make before. Ben says that customer service is the #1 sales skill, which will allow you to charge higher prices… give you an advantage over your competitors… and allow you to make up for your shortcomings.

But here’s something that puzzled my mental squirrel:

Ben Settle has been making this point about customer service for years. It never made as much impact on me as the Seth Godin article. Because Seth’s presentation was more powerful.

Perhaps, and this is just a hypothesis based on my own experience today, the power of “FREE” is greater than the power of “profitable” for getting into people’s heads. Sure, once you open up a path into somebody’s brain with the ice pick of FREE, then you can bring in the “profitable” argument. But not before. And that’s what Seth Godin does — FREE in the headline, profitable in the very last sentence of his article.

But whether that’s a universal truth or not, one thing is universally true:

All your offers, whether ideas you are pitching or actual products you are selling, should be FREE. Of course, not free today. But FREE. Here’s what I mean:

The next time you are faced with a prospect who’s holding your offer in his hands, interested but still not sold, then apply the following free idea, and it will pay for itself immediately:

Put your arm around your prospects shoulders and point to the rainbow on the horizon. Then point back to that product of yours, there in your prospect’s lap. And then once again, point to the rainbow.

“Do you see now?” tell your prospect. “In 9 weeks, it will pay for itself. So really, it’s FREE. And after that, it will even start to make you money.”

Speaking of making money:

I have an email newsletter in which I share money-making ideas about marketing and copywriting. You can sign up to my newsletter today at a small up-front cost. But really, don’t think of it as a cost, think of it as an investment. One that will pay off before the end of the day.

The secret of the weasel

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I was talking to a girl once and she said, “What do you think, if I were an animal, what animal would I be? What animal do I remind you of?”

The fact is, she reminded me of a bear — in all the best ways. But I couldn’t say that.

​​I tamped it down and said she made me think of a lioness.

“Hm ok,” she said. “Do you wanna know what animal you remind me of? But wait, I don’t know the name in English.” She went rooting around her phone.

“This!” she finally said with a big smile. “So cute it is!”

I looked at the picture. My animal doppelganger was staring back at me with dark, beady eyes. I started to laugh. It was a weasel.

The girl, who was not a native English speaker, just shrugged. For her, the story ended there. I’m sure she’s forgotten all about it since.

But I knew the double meaning of the word “weasel” in English. And so, my brain lit up and I laughed. I wrote down this story as soon as I could, and here I am, telling it to you now, a few years later.

And in case you’re wondering what my point is:

Many people will tell you that the secret to good emails is so simple. Just talk about what happened to you today. Then milk it for some sort of a lesson and presto! Immediate influence.

I disagree.

For the vast majority of people, myself included, I think this “bland breakthrough” style of emailing is a terrible approach.

Because except for a few rare storytellers, those types of emails rarely come together to surprise and delight. They rarely light up the reader’s brain the way my brain lit up at being (favorably) compared to a weasel.

Instead, all you get is the girl’s reaction — a shrug, and on to the next thing.

Maybe you don’t see the distinction I’m trying to make. So let me give you an example of an email that turns the light on.

It comes from one of the bonuses I’ve been putting together for my now-ended Influential Emails training. This bonus — “My 12/4 Most Influential Emails” — includes my 12 most influential emails, as well as 4 emails by other marketers that influenced me the most in my copywriting career.

The example I want to give you is one of these “other” emails. It was written by Ben Settle and it’s been stuck in my head for years.

I asked myself today why this email had such an impact on me.

​​I came up with two things. I won’t spell out what they are, but I will tell you I worked both of them into this email that you’re reading. Plus you can also see them in action in Ben’s email at the link below.

And in case you’re wondering whether it’s really worth your time to click and read another email right now… let me put it this way:

If you could write something today… and have it stick in other people’s minds so strongly that they share it and promote you to their own attentive audience, even years later… do you think that could be valuable to you?

If you say yes, then take a look here:

https://bensettle.com/blog/the-secret-of-the-beer-thief/

An open letter to an internet detective who caught me sneaking yesterday

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Yesterday, I wrote an email which referenced something Ben Settle said a few days ago. Big mistake.

Because one vigilante detective on the Internet immediately sensed something suspicious was afoot. So he reached through the screen… grabbed me by the scruff of the neck… and started investigating where I’ve been the past few days. He wrote:

“The other time John Bejakovic said he was unsubscribing from Ben Settle’s email list. I wonder how he still managed to get wind of an email Ben sent few days ago.”

Ever since my teenage days, I’ve loved explaining my comings and goings to other people. So as a way of explaining myself this time, let me tell you a fun Dan Kennedy story.

Many years ago, Dan worked with a client named Tom Orent. Orent is a marketer in the dentistry niche.

One of Orent’s offers was a yearly $48k coaching program. (By the way, this was back in the early 2000s. Think more like $200k in today’s marketing money.)

So at a seminar one time, Dan got a question from an intrigued audience member. “What the hell does Tom Orent do in his coaching program to justify the $48k price tag?”

Dan chuckled. “First of all,” he said, “let me suggest a better question. Rather than, what the hell does Tom Orent do to justify his $48k fee… the better question would be, how does Tom Orent sell his $48k coaching program. Because the sales mechanism is far more useful for you to discover than what is being delivered. However, since you asked the wrong question, you get the answer to the wrong question…”

And then Dan laid out the pretty uninteresting content of Tom Orent’s $48k coaching program.
​​
Similarly, here’s my explanation of my whereabouts over the past few months:

I did unsubscribe from Ben Settle’s print newsletter this summer. That’s what I wrote about in a series of emails a short while ago.

But I never unsubscribed from Ben’s emails. That would be foolish, even by my standards. Because like Dan says, the sales mechanism is far more useful to discover than what is being delivered.

But really… that’s not why I keep reading Ben’s emails.

I bet you’ve got a bursting swipe file already. I know I do. And so the real reason why I still subscribe to Ben’s emails is not so I can stuff more word tonnage into my swipe file, like a little squirrel with its cheeks full of acorns, trying to fit just one more in there.

No, I read Ben’s emails for another reason. Again, here’s Dan Kennedy:

“Put your best stuff in your lowest-priced stuff.”

I don’t know if Ben goes by this. But I’ve personally found a lot of tactical, business, and personal value in Ben’s free emails.

And that’s the truth, Mr. Internet Detective. That’s why I keep reading. And that’s how I got wind of Ben’s email from a few days ago. That’s the answer to your question.

But let me suggest a better question.

Rather than, how did I get wind of Ben’s email… the better question would be, how do I keep from missing out on valuable lessons that Ben hides in plain sight? And how did I recently apply some of those lessons to my business, and profit from them already?

That’s what I was planning on talking about in today’s email. ​
​
Because there’s no point in getting somebody’s best stuff for free… unless you recognize it as such and then do something with it. However, since I got asked the wrong question…

Want answers to some right questions? I write an email newsletter every day. You can subscribe to it here, and in that way, keep track of my suspicious comings and goings.

 

Introducing: New Gimme Hope Co’rona strain

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Perhaps you’ve read the news. From a Reuters article earlier today:

“Australia and several other countries joined nations imposing restrictions on travel from southern Africa on Saturday after the discovery of the new Charlize Coron variant sparked global concern and triggered a market sell-off.”

Ok, that’s not really what the news said. The new corona strain isn’t called Charlize Coron. It should have been called that. But instead, it got yet another boring Greek letter name, omicron.

A couple days ago, Ben Settle wrote this:

Yes, Google is one the best content title swipe files on the internet IMO.

My recommendation:

Look at hundreds of craft beer names.

Note the ones that pop out at you.

Then ask yourself:

“How can I apply this uniquely and creatively to my next piece of content?”

Since the Greek letter naming system sucks, I decided to try Ben’s advice out. I wanted to see if I couldn’t come up with a craft beer name for the new corona variant, something better than “omicron.” Maybe you can tell me if I succeeded with any of the options below.

A bit of googling revealed that many craft beer names are puns on celebrity names, stock phrases, or pop culture references tied in to the history behind the brewery.

Since this new variant was found in South Africa and Botswana, I hit upon the following ideas for the new corona beer:

* Covid Bustard (after Botswana’s national bird, the kori bustard)

* Antigen To Zebra (“all the animals you can find in South Africa, from aardvark to zebra”)

* Gimme Hope Co’rona (after the Eddie Grant hit Gimme Hope Jo’anna — Jo’anna is Johannesburg)

A second article I read said scientists are worried because this new strain has “a very unusual constellation of mutations.”

Unusual mutations? That makes my brain go in one direction only. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And since craft beers often feature nonsensical, goofy, high-energy names, this could be another possible name for the new brew:

* Cowidbunga!

Finally, the scientist who isolated this new variant said the “full significance of the variant is uncertain.” This reminded me of something Daniel Kahneman wrote about uncertainty and fear:

“The fear of an electric shock is uncorrelated with the probability of receiving the shock. The mere possibility triggers the full blown response.”

This Kahneman idea ties in well to my personal beliefs about corona. And if I had anything to do with naming the new strain, I might just give a nod to Kahneman and call it “Covid, fast and slow.”

But you know what? My point is not really anything to do with corona.

It’s not even anything to do with naming your products or content either.

Maybe you can see the point I’m trying to make. If not, then check out my email tomorrow, where I will almost certainly reveal Die Antwoord (another possible craft corona name?).