In spite of my subject line above, there’s nothing lurid about today’s email. So if you are expecting sex and drama, it might be best to stop reading now.
On the other hand, if you’re in that small minority of people who get all hot and bothered by personal development topics, then it might be worth pressing on.
If you’re still with me, then let me set the scene.
Two years ago to the day, I wrote an email with the subject line:
“Why goals and I broke up and are no longer talking”
In that email, I wrote about how I’m ghosting goals. They never worked for me.
Instead, I decided to move on to a new relationship with what James Altucher calls “having a theme.” It’s a general direction you want your life to move in, without specifics, numbers, or deadlines.
Then exactly a year ago, I wrote an update with the subject line,
“2021 un-goals”
In that email, I gushed that my new relationship with themes was going great and was getting serious. I had moved forward significantly in each of the three themes/directions I had set for 2020.
But was this just the happy honeymoon period? Or would my new love affair last?
As I wrote a year ago, there was only one way to find out. Back then, I decided on three new themes for 2021, and I promised to write an update when the time comes.
Well the time is now.
So if you’re curious, I’ll tell you about my past year, and and how my relationship with themes developed. And maybe more importantly…
I will also tell you the fundamental mental shortcut I use to decide on many of life’s difficult questions. It might give you a new perspective on some important topics.
First the update. Here are the three themes I had for 2021:
1 Partnership. In a nutshell, I decided to stop doing everything myself. Instead, I wanted to partner up with other people and businesses… contribute what skills and resources I have in abundance… and let them do the same.
Without getting bogged down in details, let me say I got all the partnership opportunities I could want. And none of them led anywhere.
But I ended the year with a new partnership agreement — something that has the potential to be big. I’ll write more about that in the coming weeks and months.
2. Ability to produce. This is Dan Kennedy’s idea, which I heard via Ben Settle, that the only security you have in life is your ability to produce. As for my ability to produce in 2021:
I wrote 365+ of these daily emails… I created the 8-week Copy Riddles program… I held the Influential Emails training…
… and that’s along with various bonuses I recorded and a few podcast appearances I made and a mastermind coaching I did. Plus there was client work for 2 primary clients and a few odd jobs, here and there.
3. Redacted for being too personal and revealing. I seem to be building an online reputation as a hermit who’s afraid of divulging personal details. So I can’t disappoint you by sharing too much about my real life right now. Let me just say this third theme/direction was personal and went absolutely nowhere. In fact, it went backwards. A complete failure.
So to sum up:
Like with every other relationship I’ve ever had, year two of going steady with themes turned out to be a mixed bag. A few great moments… a few bitter fights… and a lot in between.
Which leads me to that mental shortcut I mentioned, or rather, a lens through which I view the world. Before I reveal it, let me warn you:
This is not something that sells very well. You won’t hear me preaching it for the rest of the year. But I believe it to be true, and since today is January 1, I am willing to admit to it. It is this:
Long-standing questions don’t have simple answers.
For me, this applies to many areas of life. But specifically, it applies when trying to decide which path is the right one:
Is it better to be flexible or disciplined?
Does real success come from self-acceptance or self-development?
Is freedom the greatest good or is it comfort and safety?
My brain wants simple, black-and-white answers to these questions. It would save me so much thinking.
But the truth is that deciding between these opposite poles is an ongoing struggle. It requires attention, effort, and care. And ironically, by accepting that fact, I often save myself a lot of grief and wasted time.
And this brings me to 2022, and that menage-a-trois I mentioned in the subject line.
Themes and I continue our relationship. We are trying to make things work.
But I’ve invited that old jilted ex, goals, back into my life. I want to see if somehow the three of us can live happily together.
So I have three new, general themes for my 2022… and I’ve also set two specific, quantifiable, deadline-based goals.
Will this polygamous relationship work out? Or will it end in plates being thrown and my clothes getting tossed out the window? And what exactly are my themes and goals for 2022?
Only one way to find out:
Like I did on January 1 2020… and January 1 2021… and now, today… I will write another email in a year’s time about this personal topic. And if you can wait that long, sign up for my email newsletter, and you will find out the whole story then.
Well, except for any revealing, personal info. That will have to be redacted. I have my hermit persona to protect and develop, after all.