5 smelly sinkholes of market info for ecommerce advertorials

Lately, I’ve been writing a ton of advertorials for viral ecommerce products — everything from dog seat belts to neck traction devices to portable smoothie blenders.

For each product, most of the “writing” is actually research.

And along the way, I’ve realized that some of the most obvious places to do market research for these kinds of products…

Are also the worst options. Here are the top 5 to STAY AWAY from:

#1. Amazon product descriptions
Market info value: 1/5

In my experience, copy is not the primary driver of sales on Amazon.

It’s not even secondary. It probably comes in fourth or fifth place, after the star rating, images, reviews, and probably price.

What’s more, I feel that much of the copy in Amazon product descriptions is actually written for the Amazon recommendation algorithm — and not for actual buyers.

That’s why this copy won’t tell you anything about your market, and why you should largely ignore it. ​​

#2. Amazon reviews
Market info value: 3/5

Ben Settle wrote recently how he doesn’t trust Amazon reviews for market research. Says Ben: Amazon reviews are mainly written by disgruntled trolls.

The situation is even worse for viral ecommerce products. Most Amazon reviews in this segment are actually written by paid shills.

On top of this, popular products can have thousands of reviews, so it makes it hard to separate the rice from the millet.

There are ways around this (that’s why Amazon reviews gets a 3/5). But the gist is that most Amazon reviews aren’t trustworthy for getting an insight into your consumer’s mind.

#3. Product websites
Market info value: 2/5

Viral ecommerce products typically have shiny websites with beautiful pictures.

The thing is, anybody who lands on these websites and decides to buy was sold long before, through other channels.

In other words, the copy on these websites is not what made people buy — and it’s not something to imitate. ​​

#4. Facebook
Market info value 1/5

Many viral ecommerce products are marketed heavily on Facebook.

Unfortunately, the copy of the ads (if there is any) usually focuses on the product, and not the audience’s desires.

On top of this, the comments that appear on these ads tend to be worthless — they usually consist of “pp” [“price please”] or “I want this!” (I guess in hopes one of your FB friends or relatives will buy you whatever it is you want).

#5. YouTube reviews
Market info value: 3/5

YouTube reviews can be useful because you can see the product in action.

However, like with Amazon reviews, most YouTube reviews of viral products are by people who are doing this for money, or because they love getting free crap to review.

In other words, most YouTube reviewers did not actually buy the product. That’s why most likely cannot tell you the real thoughts/concerns/desires of people who would buy this product.

And there you have it.

5 smelly sinkholes you’ll want to beware of.

So where should you look for good info on your market?

I’m afraid I won’t be giving away all my secrets tonight. However, this is something I’ll cover in my upcoming book, which you can get for FREE if you sign up at the page below:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Dirty deeds done at premium, non-negotiable rates

Here’s a little story to warm you up:

“There are two bums sitting on a park bench. They had just woken up from a long night’s winter sleep covered up with newspapers. And the one bum had found a butt of a cigar on the ground. As he was lighting it, he said, ‘You know Bill, one good thing they can say about us is we always have the lowest price in town.'”

This story comes from Jim Camp, one of the world’s most influential philosophers of negotiation.

So what’s Camp’s point?

Well, let me tell you using Camp’s own words. First, here’s Camp’s thinking when he’s on the buying side:

“If you want people to be responsible, all you have to do is pay their asking price. Once you begin to cut their price or drive their price down, if there’s any glitches of failures, it’s your fault. [The other side can just say,] “I’m finding out I can’t deliver what I thought I could.'”

Maybe you’re not impressed with Camp’s unwillingness to haggle. In that case, prepare to be shocked, because Camp is unwilling to haggle in either direction. Here are his thoughts when he’s on the selling side:

“I have a price when I’m selling, and my price is never compromised. […] Everything I deliver is personal service. And if I discount that, I don’t like myself. I don’t feel good about what I’m doing. If I don’t like myself and what I’m doing then I’m not going to perform to my highest level of capability.”

So is Jim Camp right? Or wrong?

I think it’s really a question of what kind of business you want to run, and what kinds of people you want to deal with.

I personally don’t like haggling, and I don’t like working with people who do.

That’s why my attitude from the start of my copywriting career has never been, “Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.”

Instead, it’s been, “Dirty deeds, done at premium, non-negotiable rates.”

Of course, I’ve had to improve my skills along the way in order to justify my ever-increasing rates. The surprising thing is, the more I charge, the more value I wind up delivering to clients.

Just something to think about when you’re thinking of discounting your own prices.

And here’s something else to think about:

I’m generally fully booked up with client work these days, because I have 3 clients with ongoing projects and never-ending need for copy.

In other words, I’m not hungry for more client work.

But I also want to keep in touch with potential new clients. So I’ve set aside two one-hour slots each month to talk to clients, share whatever advice I can, and see if it makes sense for us to work together.

I haven’t yet automated this whole process, but if you’re interested in taking me up on one of these two slots for the month of April, you can get started by taking me up on the following offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

The “magic wand” technique for creating sexy sales hooks

Here’s some hard-core nerd stuff for you:

If you are into copywriting, it helps to pretend you have a magic wand.

No, I’m not kidding.

As just one example of how useful a magic wand can be, let me tell you about a magic spell I learned from one of the most fearsome copy sorcerers out there, the mighty Parris Lampropoulos. This spell is called “The Sexy Hook.” It goes like this:

You take your magic wand…

You take your ordinary product — the thing you’re looking to promote…

And then with a wave of your wand, you say the magic incantation:

“With this wand, I now conjure the most amazing benefit/story/idea to help me promote this ordinary product.”

Sounds stupid?

Bear with me. Because stupid or not, this actually works. Let me illustrate.

I am currently re-working a sales letter for a probiotic supplement.

Probiotics can be tied to every aspect of your health. Which means it’s hard to pick just one good angle to start with.

Enter the magic wand.

I asked myself, since I have a magic wand, what would be the best possible thing I could conjure up to sell these little pills?

And I thought. And I pondered. And I reflected.

Ideally, I said to myself, I would want something that would win over the largest, most desperate, and most skeptical parts of this market.

Say, a scientific study. Which describes people who are doubled over with abdominal pain… constantly exploding on the toilet… and not being helped by any other medical treatment.

And then these suffering people would take an ingredient found in my probiotic supplement — and find their awful problems solved, beyond a reasonable doubt.

A wave of the magic wand (and several hours of research) later…

And whoosh.

There it was. The scientific study I was looking for. Published just a couple of years ago. And not part of the extensive research that the client had given me.

Real magic.

Hopefully this spell helps you the next time you’re stuck marketing your product. Just don’t share this knowledge broadly. It’s too embarrassing.

And if you have an ordinary (or extraordinary) product you’d like some help in promoting, then wave your nerd stick, head on over to the page below, and take advantage of my magical offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

 

5 out of 6 copywriting tricks are worthless

In 2009, back when Twitter was blowing up, a friend of mine had an idea for a website.

It was called 5 Out Of 6, and it was a kind of “Hot or Not” for ironic fake statistics, all starting with “5 out of 6…” Here are a few examples:

“5 out of 6 bananas aren’t slippery”

“5 out of 6 Elvis songs contain the word ‘well'”

“5 out of 6 U-turns are illegal”

People could vote on which fake statistics they found funny, and they could submit their own fake statistics into the mix.

The plan was to make this website go viral, then take the best fake statistics, put them into a coffee table book, and get Oprah to endorse it. Millions of dollars would follow easily.

Alas. It did not work out.

But there was sound psychology behind the idea.

It turns out that people understand statements such as “5 out of 6 bananas” much better than “83% of bananas.”

I found out about this from Nobel-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman. Here’s the relevant passage from his book, Thinking, Fast and Slow:

“Why is the question ‘How many of the 100 participants…’ so much easier than ‘What percentage…’? […] The solution to the puzzle appears to be that a question phrased as ‘How many?’ makes you think of individuals, but the same question phrased as ‘What percentage?’ does not.”

In short, this is just one of those quirks of the human brain. Our brains like stories, individual people, and human-scale ideas. We don’t do well with statistics, large numbers, or abstractions.

That’s something to remember the next time you have to present numbers in a sales message.

The thing is, in 5 out of 6 pieces of sales copy, it won’t matter whether you use “how many” or “what percentage.”

It won’t matter if you use “but” instead of “and.”

And it won’t matter whether you call your offer “swoon-worthy” or “dazzling.”

That’s because in 5 out of 6 cases, what you say matters much more than how you say it.

I’ll talk more about this tomorrow. For now, if you want some swoon-worthy copy for your business, then act now, don’t risk delaying, and take me up on this free offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

The absolute cheapest köttbullar in a 30-mile radius

Back in 1958, Ingvar Kamprad had a bold idea.

He was opening a furniture store — and he decided to tack on a cafe as well.

The reasoning was straightforward:

Customers with full bellies might buy more furniture.

This furniture store + cafe business became quite the success. It’s called IKEA (the “IK” in the name being Kamprad’s initials) and it does about $40 billion in sales each year.

The IKEA restaurant alone does about $2 billion. But that’s not what the company cares about.

In fact, the guiding principle of the IKEA restaurant is to offer the absolute lowest price on a food item within a 30-mile radius.

IKEA doesn’t mind if it loses money here — because its köttbullar (AKA Swedish meatballs) are known as the “best sofa seller.”

Makes sense.

People wouldn’t stay in the store as long if they get nervous or hungry…

On the other hand, if they come expressly for the Swedish meatballs or cheap hot dogs (30% of IKEA customers come just for the food), they might wind up buying some throw pillows or stuffed rats or even a new lamp.

And the point of all of this is NOT that you should offer a loss leader.

Instead, it’s a simple lesson about copywriting.

In writing copy, as when selling furniture, you need a hook.

A hook is a way of sucking people in, so you can buy yourself time to do a proper selling job.

This is important when you’ve got a huge offer — thousands of separate products — like IKEA does.

But it’s just as important when you’ve got a single product, say a supplement, with multiple ingredients or benefits.

Or when your audience doesn’t know your brand as well as they know Ingvar Kamprad’s Furniture + Meatball Emporium.

So how do you write a good hook?

The basic principle is there in the story of the IKEA restaurant. If it’s not yet clear to you, don’t worry. You’ll be able to get more info on it if you take me up on the following free offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Killing your babies for you

I’m not talking about killing your actual children, you beast. Instead, consider the following:

“Writing is rewriting.”

That’s from William Zinsser, author of On Writing Well, a popular guide to writing decent non-fiction.

I’m reading this book right now, and it makes it seem that Zinsser was a man who suffered deeply while writing.

He didn’t put much stock into his first drafts. Instead, he considered writing to be a labor of rearranging, clarifying, and tightening.

And of course, cutting out the flab. Which brings me to today’s second quote:

“2nd Draft = 1st Draft – 10%.”

This second bit of writing wisdom is from Stephen King.

That’s the guy who wrote Cujo and about 99 other massive best-sellers.

So when Stephen gives writing advice, it makes sense to listen. But which 10% to cut out?

For that we get to the final quote of the day, and that’s to “kill your babies.”

This phrase is apparently stock journalism slang. It goes back, in one form or another, through William Faulkner and Ernest Hemingway, all the way back to a series of lectures given in 1914 by one Arthur Quiller-Couch:

“If you here require a practical rule of me, I will present you with this: ‘Whenever you feel an impulse to perpetrate a piece of exceptionally fine writing, obey it—whole-heartedly — and delete it before sending your manuscript to press. Murder your darlings.”

There is an exception, however, to all this advice:

Don’t do excessive editing or trimming of your daily emails.

In part, this is for yourself. Excessive rewriting of your daily emails will weigh you down, take too long, and sap you of energy for writing tomorrow.

But there’s another equally good reason.

Rewriting your emails will take away quirks that make you sound more conversational.

Which will eliminate much of the human-level interest why people respond to daily emails in the first place.

It’s a balancing act.

You want your emails to be spontaneous.

As well as on point.

Of course, if this is not a balancing act you feel confident about… Then you might like my upcoming book, which you can get for free here:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

My growing respect for the beat-up Irish clown

A few weeks back, MMA fighter Conor McGregor announced he would retire.

At one point, McGregor was the UFC lightweight champion. Right now, he’s best known for trash-talking, street brawls, and taking any opportunity to promote his own brand of Irish whiskey.

For me personally, he’s an easy guy to hate.

How could you not?

McGregor talked a lot shit prior to his last fight. He then got his ass kicked convincingly over four rounds, and had to tap out. This didn’t keep him from talking shit — and he still keeps it up, even now that he is supposedly (but unconvincingly) retired.

​​To top it all off, he looks and acts like a clown — albeit a dangerous, aggressive clown.

That’s how I felt. Until recently.

Recently, as I watched various clips of Conor McGregor prior to his last fight, I got a strange impression.

I realized that in spite of all the boasting, here was a man who realized full-well that he would go into the cage and probably get beat up, and beat up badly.

He was willing to get punched and kicked and strangled by one of the most dangerous men on the planet.

And he was willing to make a fool of himself before and after the physical beatdown.

And for what?

For long-term success, that’s what. McGregor reportedly earned $100 million last year — only a few million of which came from his fight money. The rest came from endorsements, and increasingly, from his own business ventures.

Like that whiskey company, which is now selling more bottles than Jameson.

And that was my strange impression — that McGregor’s provocative fight persona is all done with an eye to the future. And it’s working for him.

Because of this, he reminds me of another sports figure who went on to have big success in business (and further).

I’m thinking of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

And so I wasn’t surprised to find that McGregor and Schwarzenegger hold each other in very high regard.

But anyhow, what’s the point of all this?

It’s simply to recommend a bit of Conor McGregor’s attitude.

Of course, you don’t have to allow yourself to literally get brutalized in pursuit of massive amounts of money.

But figuratively? Maybe learn to take a punch. And allow yourself to get laughed at, to be mocked, and to be humiliated.

After all, you’ve got a plan. And you will be a success one day, while everybody else will still be cackling at their keyboards and behind their TV’s.

At least that’s how I look at it. And if you want more of my thinking on the psychology behind success in marketing, you can find it here:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

The trouble with living in the most beautiful apartment

I spent the past few days visiting friends in Budapest. And this time, I rented an apartment with a VIEW.

The apartment is on the fifth floor of a narrow and classical building. One side of it looks to the Danube, about 20 meters away. The Chain Bridge, the central and perhaps most iconic of Budapest’s bridges, stretches across both bedroom windows and lights up the apartment at night.

The other side of the apartment has a large terrace, which is directly beneath the Castle District of Budapest. During the day, the terrace has a pleasant view of the green Castle hill. At night, the impressive Buda Castle dominates the hill and provides all-evening entertainment if you simply want to sit on the terrace and stare at it.

Now, I used to live in Budapest for over 10 years before moving away about a year ago.

So during this visit a friend asked me whether I would ever consider moving back.

And I started to say, “Well, if I had an apartment like this to live in full-time…”

But then I stopped myself.

You see, the actual apartment I live in full-time is also beautiful. When I moved into it a year ago, it would surprise me each time I walked through the door.

However, over the course of the past year, I’ve stopped noticing how beautiful my apartment is. It now takes a conscious effort to appreciate it at all.

So I realized that, even if I lived in this beautiful Budapest apartment with THE VIEW, soon enough, I wouldn’t notice how great it is any more.

And as it is with real estate, so it is with copy.

People will soon get habituated to your marketing message. And when they do, you will lose them. That’s because, unlike with real estate, your prospects will never make any kind of conscious effort to appreciate what you are doing.

This applies to parts of an individual sales message (ie. a sales letter). And it applies equally to ongoing communications (ie. daily emails to your prospects).

In other words, if you keep communicating with the same people over and over, you will need to keep coming up with fresh ideas to keep them stimulated and engaged.

If you’re looking for some help in coming up with such fresh ideas, you can get my suggestions in the following free book:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

List segmentation advice from Jojo the idiot circus boy

A while back, I got hired to write a doomed sequence of emails.

This was for a kit to help with fermenting your own vegetables at home.

The client who was selling these fermenting kits had done a survey of his customers. He found that some of them cared about the health benefits of fermented foods. Others cared about the tradition of fermenting (eg, “My grandma used to make dill pickles”).

And so I got hired me to write a bunch of emails for the two segments. One focusing on the health benefits of fermented foods, and the other on the tradition of fermenting.

I did as the client asked.

And the resulting emails bombed.

No sales.

So what went wrong?

My feeling is it was like the famous scene from the movie Tommy Boy.

You know, the one where Chris Farley plays Tommy Callahan, a fat party animal who tries to become a successful salesman.

After failing over and over to close even one sale, Tommy Boy takes a good honest look at himself.

“I’m like Jojo the idiot circus boy with a pretty new pet,” Tommy says while holding a muffin.

The muffin represents the sale.

“Oh my pretty little pet… I love you,” Tommy says to the muffin.

And he strokes the muffin.

And he massages it.

Harder.

And harder.

Until he rips the poor muffin apart, while screaming, “I KILLED IT, I KILLED MY SALE!”

And that’s basically what happened with these fermentation emails.

The people on this list had signed up for fermentation recipes. And here they were, getting email after email about autoimmune health and the history of sauerkraut.

In other words, the emails were trying too hard to be clever.

And in doing that, they scared and repulsed the customers, who really just needed a simpler, more direct sales message.

At least that’s the conclusion I drew from this fiasco. Along with the fact that segmenting your list, while it might sound sexy, can backfire unless you know what you’re doing.

Anyways, maybe you’ll find this info useful.

And if you want help with your sales copy, then put on your little coat, twirl around until it rips apart, and take a look at the following offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

How to exploit your customers’ compulsion to gamble

Gambling is much like sex.

It seems to be a fundamental human compulsion.

And it doesn’t require any justification other than its inherent excitement.

The thing is, sex is well-exploited in marketing. Gambling, I haven’t seen as much.

But it can be done.

Here’s one example, from marketing and copywriting legend Joe Sugarman.

In his “HOT” magazine ad, Joe was promoting a membership club called Consumers Hero. Members of the club would get the opportunity to buy refurbished goods at a steep discount.

Most of the stuff wasn’t too impressive — clock radios, microwaves, electric can openers.

But occasionally, Consumers Hero had a really great deal — like a TV for only $39.95 — which was only available in small numbers.

In this case, a segment of Consumers Hero members would be selected in a kind of lottery. These chosen members would be the only ones who got the mailing inviting them to buy the great deal.

My guess is that if anybody got a mailing saying “YOU’VE BEEN CHOSEN TO BUY THIS TV AT A GREAT DISCOUNT,” they would be much more likely to actually buy, just by virtue of knowing they’d “won” the opportunity.

Which is all well and good — if your product inherently allows you to turn it into a lottery.

But what if you’re not in that position?

Fear not. Playing on your customers’ compulsion to gamble can still increase sales.

Here’s another Joe Sugarman story:

Joe once wrote an ad promoting a computer. He ran it around the time of the SuperBowl.

The ad basically said, if the Bears win the SuperBowl, you get this computer at 50% off. If they lose, the price stays as it is. And here’s the outcome, in Joe’s own words:

“There was a lineup of people — we had a retail store — there was a literally a lineup of people all the way around the block waiting to pick up their computer that they were getting for 50% off. The funny part about it was that we were making a nice profit on that as well.”

And there you have it.

Even if you’re not selling collectibles or trading cards or something that has a lottery aspect to it, you can still use gambling simply as a way to run a sale. The fact that the sale might actually not happen will only drive up interest.

The reason why that happens is another topic, for another time.

For now, if you need help writing those ads that announce a lottery-like sale, you might like to take a chance on the following offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/