What I learned from copywriting

by

Copywriting pays for my food, my plane tickets, and my collection of black t-shirts.

Back when I had an apartment, it also paid for my rent.

Copywriting allows me to work on a Saturday, if I so choose, and skip Monday through Wednesday.

It’s put me in touch with multimillionaires and even one billionaire.

It’s exposed me to strange new worlds, such as beekeping, billboard wholesaling, and penis enlargement.

But that’s kids’ stuff. Where copywriting really impacted me, where it changed me in ways I didn’t expect, is the following:

A. It taught me to read.

David Deutsch said, “If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t read 50 books one time each; I would read 10 books five times each.”

Other famous copywriters say the same.

So I reread books now. And I find mucho stuff in there that I didn’t see before. My brain changed in the meantime.

Also when I read, I’m much more careful. I keep stopping to ask myself, “Is this interesting? New? Useful? Could it be useful if I combined it with something else I’d read?” It’s slow and it’s work. But it’s a better use of my time than flying through text and not getting anything out of it.

B. It gave me a real acceptance of the moist robot hypothesis.

Scott Adams says we are all “moist robots”:

“Humans are wet robots that respond to programming. If you aren’t intentionally programming yourself, the environment and other people are doing it for you.”

This sounded outlandish when I first heard it… then amusing… then interesting… then believable… then obvious. Copywriting provided me with plenty of real-life examples. There might be something more inside of us, some capacity for experience and reflection… but most of what we do is moist robot.

C. It exposed me to the Gene Schwartz sophistication/awareness models.

This is so valuable whether you’re writing copy or doing any other kind of communicating. It can be summed up with the idea of starting where your reader/prospect/adversary is… But how do you do that? Schwartz’s models tell you exactly.

D. It taught me the low value of secrets.

And also the low value of supplements. And the low value of opportunities. In general, through copywriting, I’ve developed a suspicion of anything new being advertised for sale.

E. It taught me the enduring power of listicles.

For getting attention. Not necessarily valuable attention. Which is why I used the headline “What I learned from copywriting” instead of “5 things I learned from copywriting.” As Mark Ford said recently:

“If you want to get cheap readership, listicles are great. But they don’t do a good job selling anything, or getting serious attention, or creating a fan out of the reader, especially at higher price points.”

F. It taught me how to get rich.

I’m not sure if I ever will be rich. But I might.

Through copywriting, I’ve had an amazing business education. I’ve gotten to look behind the curtain at dozens of successful enterprises. I’ve found out exactly how they get their customers… what they sell to these customers… and how they keep selling more.

Maybe one day, I’ll turn that knowledge into actual success. Speaking of which, let me repeat something I wrote a few months back:

​​”Perhaps success is simply about choosing a field where you don’t mind getting better. Where the daily work is something you find enjoyable enough — or at least, not too repulsive — so you can continue to get better at it day after day.”

Copywriting is not my passion. I don’t have any passions.

But I don’t mind the daily work, and sometimes I even find it enjoyable. And that’s something I never thought would happen.

Maybe you’d like more articles like this. In that case, you can keep browsing this blog… or you can sign up for my daily email newsletter.

Suggestion: “Play rabbit” in your copy and one-on-one dealings

by

Rabbits can pretend to be healthy even when sick. They can mask it so well that they go from looking perfectly normal in one second to dead on the floor the next.

In other words, rabbits can cover up their neediness.

​​Neediness is when you feel threatened, and you enter survival mode. All of God’s little creatures, including you and me, experience neediness now and again, whether real or imagined.

The next time you feel needy, I’d like to suggest that you “play rabbit.”

​​In other words, suck it up and cover it up. Because being seen as needy makes you also look weak, vulnerable, and desperate. That’s not the profile of someone that people want to shake hands with, in business or in private.

I was reviewing a Frank Kern VSL today. It was for a big launch he did a few years ago for his Inner Circle coaching program.

​​I don’t know whether Frank was desperate for this launch to succeed. The VSL certainly doesn’t make it seem so.

Except for some fake urgency (a timer above the VSL), there’s not much pressure to buy. No “You need this NOW.” No “You’re at a fork in the road.” Instead, there’s just a voluptuous, sleepy-eyed seductress of an offer, lazily smiling at you and showing off her many attractions.

I’ve written already about my 3-sentence method for applying for copywriting jobs. It involves no friendly banter, no big life story, and certainly no explaining or apologizing.

Back when I applied for copywriting jobs, this method worked great. And one big reason is that I didn’t look needy, regardless of how I felt. (By the way, if you want more on this, I wrote up this article about it.)

My point is that, in your copy and in your one-on-one dealings, don’t telegraph your neediness and vulnerability. If anything, do the opposite. Play rabbit. Don’t let anyone know what’s going on inside your beating little chest.

But perhaps the above examples didn’t convince you. So let me leave you with the words of the godfather and midwife of modern advertising, Claude Hopkins.

For his first advertising job, Hopkins had to sell 250,000 carpet sweepers. I don’t know what a carpet sweeper is, but apparently it was an important but unsexy household product.

So Hopkins wrote a straightforward letter to dealers. It outlined why his product is unique. It listed conditions in case the dealers wanted to sell it.

Take it or leave it.

So what was the result? From Hopkins himself:

“I offered a privilege, not an inducement. I appeared as a benefactor, not as a salesman. So dealers responded in a way that sold our stock of 250,000 sweepers in three weeks.”

One last point:

I have an email newsletter. Sign up for it now. Or don’t. It’s up to you. Here’s the optin.

The secret psychology of giving up

by

This is a brontosaurus:

Hello I am Brontosaurus

But let me give you the back story:

Yesterday I saw a question from a struggling copywriter. He says he’s put in the time and effort. But he’s not getting the reward.

He’s not swamped with client work… he’s disappointed by the money he’s making… and he’s not even hearing a kind word or two about a job well done.

This brought to mind a presentation I saw once by billion-dollar copywriter Mike Palmer.

Mike works at Stansberry Research, an Agora imprint. He wrote The End of America VSL, which brought in many millions of simoleons for Stansberry.

So Mike gave this presentation called The Secret Psychology of Becoming a Great Copywriter. The upshot is, there will be times when you feel you suck.

Mike drew a graph to illustrate the natural changes in skill/suck levels. It’s pretty much the brontosaurus up top:

Hello I am Annotated Brontosaurus

Point A is when you get started, full of optimism.

Point B is when you realize it will be harder than you thought.

Point C is the moment of crisis and despair. At this point many people give up.

(I just want to say I am all for giving up. There’s no shame in it if you ask me, and I suspect most people who champion blind perseverance haven’t tried to do much in life. I’ve given up often, and with very few exceptions, I’ve never looked back.)

But if for some reason you don’t give up, then you eventually move to point D. That’s where you improve and rise above your previous level.

This is not a one-time thing, by the way.

It’s happened to me over and over since I started writing copy for money.

For example, last year around this time, I thought I was pretty good at this whole thing. I then joined Dan Ferrari’s coaching group. After getting some feedback from Dan, I realized I still had big things to work on.

A month or two later, deep into a project, the feedback kept pouring in and getting more significant. I thought “Jesus, why do I need this? I’m obviously not meant to write sales copy.”

But I stuck around, finished the project, became better at the craft, and eventually got my rewards.

Like I said, this has happened to me over and over. I expect it will happen again.

Perhaps if you know this, it will make it easier to progress to point D once you hit that hollow, right at the bottom of the brontosaurus’s neck.

Or perhaps not. Perhaps you’ll look up, squint… well, let me stop there.

When I wrote this article and sent it out to my email newsletter subscribers, I ended on a personal note, about giving up. But I limit those things on this public blog. In case you want to get on my email newsletter, where I don’t hold anything back, click here to subscribe.

Gary Bencivenga’s “disinterested” way to create proof and get attention

by

I read a confession today by a former employee of a shady solar company.

This guy reports the company used to print out fake ID badges for its salespeople.

The salespeople were then told to focus on houses with “No Soliciting” signs out front. After the door was open, they were supposed to claim they “worked with the power company” in order to get in to start their pitch.

And here’s where it gets dark:

The guy says he and every other salesperson knew full-well the savings from solar depended on government tax credits.

And yet…

They pushed these same savings as given — to senior citizens. Who weren’t paying much in taxes. Who couldn’t benefit from a tax credit. And who wound up getting saddled with a massive loan, which they couldn’t afford.

Now back to the ethical world of direct response marketing:

I used the story above in an email today, to a large list of buyers of money-saving ecommerce products.

At the end of that email, I said how I’m passing this story along as a warning. And that if they want to get the money-saving benefits of solar, they can. But they might have to bypass solar companies and power utilities and government tax credits. Then I linked to an affiliate offer that shows them how to do this.

A-list copywriter Gary Bencivenga said that proof is the most important element of copy when it comes to closing the sale.

He also said that acting as a consumer advocate is one powerful way to create proof.

It makes you seem disinterested… it demonstrates you know what you’re talking about… and if done right, it can even capture attention.

Sounds good.

But it begs the question, where do you get riveting consumer advocacy stories that go beyond what everybody already knows?

Well, I have my own private little methods of digging up such stories. I don’t share them in public… but I have shared one of them today with the subscribers of my email newsletter. In case you want to get on my newsletter, so you get more posts like this, with nothing held back, click here and follow the instructions.

Trolling for productivity

by

Last year during the U.S. Open, Russian tennis star Daniil Medvedev started getting booed by the crowd.

Earlier in the match, Medvedev had tossed his racquet in frustration. He also threw a towel that one of the ball children had handed him.

The U.S. Open crowd, which loves fair play and sportsmanlike behavior almost as much as it likes bullying a man when he’s down, smelled blood. Medvedev was losing, and in poor style. So the crowd booed and heckled him after every lost point and at each changeover.

And then, like a Russian phoenix feeding off the fire of righteous pride, Medvedev turned things around and won the match. In his post-match interview, as the crowd sat stunned, Medvedev started his trolling:

“Thank you guys, you gave me the win. Without the energy you are giving me, I would lose. [At this point, the crowd booed loudly. Medvedev closed his eyes and made motions that seemed to say, let it rain on me.] Thank you guys. You gave me energy for my next five matches. The more you do this, the more I will win for you.”

A beautiful moment in sports, don’t you think?

Now with that out of the way, let me give you a productivity tip:

Whenever you’re faced with an overwhelming and unpleasant task, rather than biting down on the bit and trying to bully your way through the work… rather than visualizing success and hoping the universe will manifest it for you… rather that sitting paralyzed and hoping things will be better a little later… just ask yourself the following question:

“How can I get this done and also enjoy the process?”

… and then write down the ideas that pop up in your head.

​​I’ve done this a few times since I found out about this technique earlier this year. And each time — for example today, with this very post — I find it works. I get the task done, and I enjoy the process along the way.

Your brain is a powerful tool. And when you ask the above question, your brain can take a seemingly awful situation and reframe it in a positive way. It can spot things you wouldn’t have spotted before, which energize you or even make you enjoy your unpleasant task.

And then, in your post-match interview, when you’re being interviewed about your unlikely success, you can troll all the obstacles that once lay in your way:

“Thank you to the papercuts… the rug burns… and the alarm clocks. You gave me the win. I will go forward and keep winning — just for you guys.”

And now for the climax:

I write a daily email newsletter. If you want to find out more, and maybe even subscribe, click here.

How dirty is your underwear right now?

by

Seriously, how dirty is it? I’m asking because it’s a personal question and borderline insulting. And if my guess is right, it got your attention. Here’s why I need it.

I’ve been thinking about pattern interrupts and how to do them. Here are a few examples, in case you’re not familiar with this term, of what I mean by “pattern interrupt”:

1. Tony Robbins once threw water in a woman’s face. Repeatedly.

​​She was trying to talk through her marriage problems with Tony. But each time she started talking about her husband, she started to get negative. ​​So Tony threw water in her face, shocked her, and got her laughing.

​​”What is wrong with you?” she asked each time he did it. But she stopped being negative when talking about her husband.

2. “Coffee’s for closers only.”

​​You might know this famous scene from Glengarry Glen Ross. Alec Baldwin comes in to give his “Always be closing” speech to a bunch of real estate salesmen… but they aren’t taking him seriously.

​​So when one of them goes to get a cup of coffee, Baldwin stares and says, “Put that coffee down. Coffee’s for closers only. You think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you.” The salesman puts the coffee down and starts to listen.

* Shooting the apple out of the pig’s mouth.

​​In the first Hunger Games movie, Katniss is supposed to show off her archery skills to a bunch of rich sponsors. But she misses the target. The sponsors laugh and start chatting among themselves.

​​Katniss next hits a bullseye… but the sponsors aren’t paying attention any more. ​​So she turns towards the sponsors, takes aim, and shoots an arrow through the apple stuck in a pig’s mouth in the middle of the banquet table. All the sponsors shut up and look at her.

I bet there are a bunch of different ways to create an effective pattern interrupt. The three situations above all do it. And though they might seem very different, I think they share a common element:

They cross private boundaries, whether physical or of personal sovereignty. They are intrusive, threatening, or borderline insulting.

So if you too need to get somebody’s attention, and change their set ways of thinking, try such a “personal sovereignty” pattern interrupt. Just make sure you have a good reason for doing so — otherwise you might get slapped in the face.

Anyways, since I still have your attention:

You might like y daily email newsletter. Or you might not. But if you’d like to test it out and decide for yourself, click here to subscribe.

Specializing on the cheap for new copywriters

by

A few days ago I saw the following question on a copywriting forum:

“Just starting out. How niche is too niche? I know that the more niche you are, the more high-paying clients you’ll get. But if you’re too niche, then wouldn’t it be hard finding target clients?”

When I was starting out, I had the same question. Largely because I had heard the same advice — you gotta niche down if you want to be successful.

Here’s my attitude about this topic, now that I’ve emerged on the other side of the newbie-to-successful-copywriter underwater passage:

If you’re just starting out, then you should be in the exact niche that the job you are applying to is in.

For example, when applying for a job to write case studies for a medical clinic, you say, “I specialize in writing case studies for the healthcare market. Here are two relevant samples.” (If you don’t have the samples, write them then and there.)

The point is you don’t have to mention that you also specialize in finance, tech, and pet food… and that you will also write emails, sales letters, and supplement packaging copy.

The time to genuinely specialize — meaning you would actually turn away work because it’s not something you want to do — comes later, when you have some experience… when you know what the market wants… and when you have an idea of which way you want to develop. Or as Mark Ford wrote in Ready, Fire, Aim:

“It’s almost always better to get into a new industry on the cheap by figuring out how to test the waters without committing yourself to an unproven idea.”

Not what you were hoping to hear? Then you probably won’t be interested in joining my daily email newsletter.

Tall Chinese boys and the Zappos case study

by

I often wonder why teens seem to be getting taller, even in countries that are not famous for tallness — like Italy or China. Today I found a potential answer.

According to a study published this month in The Lancet, it comes down to nutrition. Improving nutrition is why Chinese boys became 4 inches taller in 35 years, and went from 150th tallest on the list to 65th. Meanwhile, boys in the UK got only one inch taller during that time, which dropped them from 28th place to 39th.

Dr Andrea Rodriguez Martinez, the lead author of this study, concluded by saying:

“Our findings should motivate policies that increase the availability and reduce the cost of nutritious foods, as this will help children grow taller without gaining excessive weight for their height.”

It was the bit about “increasing availability” and “reducing cost” that got my attention. It reminded me of a case study reported in Jonah Berger’s book the Catalyst, about the online shoe retailer Zappos.

In their early days, Zappos was limited in how low they could cut their prices — Nike didn’t want their cool new sneakers being sold cheap.

But even if Zappos could offer lower prices than in retail stores, people would still be wary of buying shoes online.

So what Zappos did instead was remove roadblocks to buying. They offered free shipping instead of lowering prices.

It could have been disastrous for the company… but it was not. Zappos went from struggling ecomm startup to a $1.2 billion buyout from Amazon.

So my message to Dr Rodriguez is, instead of pushing for food voucher programs… advocate for more vending machines selling expensive but delicious dehydrated zucchini chips. And watch those kids shoot up in height rather than width.

But it’s unlikely Dr Rodriguez will listen to me. Maybe you will.

So my message for you is that free shipping makes any offer more enticing… and that price is often not the main objection that you need to address. Rather than trying to compete on price, ask yourself why your prospects are not buying already — and then remove that roadblock directly.

Let me give you an example:

I write a daily email newsletter. It’s free, so I can’t cut its price any lower without paying you to sign up. But the fact is, you can subscribe to it and if it’s not right for you… you can unsubscribe any time with just one click. No risk. No hassle. So why not try it out? Click here to sign up now.

Petty but powerful: Wiping the smirk off your frenemy’s face

by

Many parts of Europe are entering lockdown these days. Since I do not like being locked down, I am running in hope of avoiding the avalanche.

And so yesterday, I found myself in a local rent-a-car office. The city I was in had entered lockdown, including for travel. But other parts of the country were still open. So I wanted to rent a car.

“To do what?” asked the rent-a-car clerk, barely looking up from his laptop.

“To leave the city,” I answered.

He snorted and went back to looking at his computer screen. “Not possible.” The subtext was that I was stupid even for asking.

And yet, I managed to rent a car today, after asking at two other places. And as I was driving my tiny Citroen and heading towards freedom, I passed by the first rent-a-car office, the one with the “To do what” clerk.

For a moment, I thought about pulling over, popping into the office, and dangling my Citroen keys in his face. “Not possible, huh?” I imagined him looking at me sourly from behind his laptop, with nothing to say.

Petty, I know. But it’s human nature. And that’s what I want to tell you about.

You might have heard already that one dimension you can add to your copy is to is to bring in an audience.

Usually, that means saying something like, “Imagine the excited crowd of pretty girls pushing past each other for the chance to see you drive down the street in your tiny Citroen.”

But an audience can be more specific, and more negative. Because we all have a relative, a frenemy, or just a rent-a-car clerk who scoffed at us once.

If your product can help wipe the condescending smirk off that person’s face — well, then you should say so. For example:

Imagine that first copywriting blowout you got. Maybe it was your first client… or a bit later on… when somebody told you, “This is beneath my standards. I refuse to pay for this.”

Well, imagine that person, and their face, when they see you a successful, in-demand, persuasive copywriting genius.

Tall order, you say? Not if you sign up for my daily email newsletter, which is full of copywriting lessons like the one you just read. So if you want to get back at that person who gave you your first copywriting blowout… click here to subscribe.

The George Costanza method of client seduction

by

There’s an episode of Seinfeld where George Costanza, the fat short bald loser who is always making up exciting careers for himself to impress women, realizes that everything he has done in life has lead to failure.

Desperate, George takes another tack.

He goes bizarro. He does the opposite of whatever he would normally do.

George starts by ordering the opposite lunch from what he normally gets. He then notices an attractive woman looking at him from across the restaurant.

Bizarro George decided to get up and go talk to her — because normal George never would.

“Excuse me,” George says to the woman, “I couldn’t help but notice you were looking in my direction.”

“Oh yes I was,” the woman explains. “You just ordered the exact same lunch as me.”

George takes a deep breath.

“My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”

The woman turns to face him fully, her eyes sparkling and a smile spreading across her face. “I’m Victoria. Hiii…”

Chris Haddad said in a recent interview that if you are a freelance copywriter, then you should be constantly going on Facebook, bragging about how great you are, and sharing all of your successes and testimonials.

That’s one approach. It can definitely work.

But there’s another approach. It’s when you seek to not impress. Instead, you give clients reasons why you are not a good match for them. You refuse to talk about your experience and successes, or at least you put it off as long as possible.

This is nothing more than a page out of Jim Camp’s negotiation system. You’re looking for a no. More importantly, you are eliminating any neediness that’s typical when freelancers talk to clients.

Very likely, this approach is not right for you.

But if you find that the typical advice of confidence and bragging has lead you to failure over and over… then this bizarro George approach is worth a shot. Because it can work, and not on just on TV.

Here’s another thing that is very likely not right for you:

My daily email newsletter. Very few people subscribe to it. Even fewer read it.