The 4 pillars of a pee-worthy relationship

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Tony was happy to see me back.

I had just returned to Baltimore to stay at my friend’s house for a few days.

My friend’s large German shepherd, Tony, was so excited to see me back that he ran to my room, jumped in my lap, jumped out of my lap, and then peed on the hardwood floor.

That’s excitement.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you too could create a similar reaction in your customers or clients?

Well, it might be possible.

To show you how, let me refer to an interview that I listened to recently. It was with multi-millionaire Internet marketer Travis Sago.

Travis has been in the marketing and copywriting business for close to 20 years. He has sold everything from Little Giant Ladders to business coaching.

But his first really big success came from selling relationship advice — specifically, “how to get your ex back” guides for suddenly single women.

So when a guy like Travis talks about creating a bond that lasts, it makes sense to listen.

​​According to Travis, it ain’t hard to do. A strong bond requires just 4 ingredients:

#1. Frequency of interaction. Think of your closest friends, most of whom you’ve probably known since high school or college.

#2. Depth of shared emotional experience. Think of the attachment that kidnappees form for their kidnappers.

#3. Vulnerability. Think of Tony and me. He almost tore my head off the first time I met him.

#4. Proximity. Think of Jim and Pam in The Office.

Maybe it’s not immediately obvious, but all of these real-life relationship pillars can be imitated in the cold world of  digital marketing.

And if you want to see just how to use principles #2 and #3 above to make your front-end marketing pee-worthy, then check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The gruesome productivity secret of “The Star”

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There’s an intersection near my house called “The Star”. A fairly gruesome legend lies behind this sparkly name:

Some 500 years ago, a bunch of pro-socialist peasants decided to revolt against the ruling 1%.

This revolt was soon put down, as tends to happen with these things.

But even after the revolting rabble was scattered back to their villages, the cruel noblemen knew that it was only a matter of time before a new revolt broke out.

So they decided to set an example.

They dragged the shackled, bloodied, and beaten leader of the peasant revolt through the city, to a crossing of four roads.

On each road, there were four snorting stallions.

After putting a red-hot iron crown on the rebel’s head and pinching him with red-hot iron pincers, the noblemen had him tied to the horses.

Each arm and each leg got its own horse.

And then the horses were whipped, until they pulled and strained and ripped the peasant revolt leader in four separate directions.

Hence — The Star.

And you know, metaphorically, I feel a little like that peasant revolt leader these days.

Because I’m being pulled in a bunch of different directions by responsibilities and goals I’ve set for myself:

Completing client work… trying to whip up a social life out of thin air… fulfilling my daily quota of downward dogs and happy child poses… chasing girls… expanding my copywriting business by taking on expensive coaching… writing a couple sets of daily emails… coming up with ideas for lectures I could give at a local school… courting potential new clients… planning an occasional trip to keep myself sane.

I’m not complaining, by the way. I choose to do this to myself. My reasoning is this:

The more work I take on, the more I get accomplished.

Yes, I often don’t get everything done.

And with more responsibilities, the the not-done part increases too.

But by my math, 75% of 200 is bigger than 95% of 100.

Perhaps, if you too are struggling to be fully productive, then this counter-intuitive math can help you in some way.

And if you want advance notice of a copywriting project that’s contributing to my drawing and quartering right now, the consider looking down this path:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Getting slapped under the table by consistency and commitment

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A few days ago, email marketer Josh Earl went on a rant against “consistency and commitment.”

As you might know, this is one of the principles from Robert Cialdini’s book Influence. According to Cialdini, people will act in ways that are consistent with their previous actions and beliefs.

Many marketers get an involuntary hardon as soon as Cialdini’s name is mentioned.

So it’s no surprise that “consistency and commitment” have been used to sell lots of marketing gimmicks. And that’s what Josh is complaining about:

“Marketers have glommed onto this idea big time. So you’ll hear them geeking out about how you can double your optin rate by hiding your signup form behind a faux survey question, or improve your sales by getting people to reply to an email, because ‘consistency and commitment, man!'”

Josh goes on to say that consistency and commitment mostly don’t work. What’s worse, they can even lead you astray. “Time to kick ‘consistency and commitment’ to the curb,” he concludes.

This argument made me think of a video I’d seen a few weeks back.

A young, skinny guy challenges the Russian slap champion.

(You haven’t seen this sport? Basically, two guys take turns slapping each other until one of them breaks down and goes crying to his mom.)

The young challenger is super confident and cocky, because he’s injected synthol into his biceps to make them look huge.

He thinks his Popeye arms will somehow let him slap harder. So he takes a swing and slaps the champion right on the ear. The champion just shakes it off.

And then it’s the slap champion’s turn.

He carefully measures his swing… pulls his giant arm back… and slaps the synthol challeger clean under the table, so three guys have to help him up.

To my mind, synthol guy is the two-step optin form that Josh is complaining about.

Consistency and commitment are more like the slap champion.

They really are powerful, just like Cialdini says. And they have made many direct marketers rich.

In other words, I don’t agree with Josh. But if you want to read his entire post, so you can make up your own mind, here’s where you can find it:

https://joshuaearl.com/bacon-petition

Fighting over Wimpy copywriting clients

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Here’s a bit of 1957 cartoon wisdom for beginner freelance copywriters:

It comes from a Popeye cartoon, in which Popeye has just opened up a shiny new diner.

But then, his archenemy Bluto pulls up with a fancy food truck right across the street.

“You gotta move that thing,” says Popeye.

“A little competition never hurt nobody,” barks Bluto.

They’re about to come to fisticuffs when a potential new customer strolls down the street.

It’s J. Wellington Wimpy, the penniless moocher who pretends to be high class.

Wimpy sits down at Bluto’s food truck. “I’ll have a hamburger, for which I will gladly pay you Tuesday,” says Wimpy in his aristocratic tone.

“One hamburger coming up!” says Bluto.

But then Popeye gets in there, and steals Wimpy away. “I’ll have a generous portion of baked beans, for which I will gladly pay you Tuesday,” says Wimpy again, except this time to Popeye.

“Baked beans, coming right up!” says Popeye.

The rest of the cartoon goes on like this, with Bluto and Popeye constantly sabotaging and one-upping each other.

They eventually get into a fight, throwing barrels, stovetops, pork legs, and cakes at each other.

Meanwhile Wimpy the moocher sits by and eats their food, never paying and never intending to pay.

Maybe you see why I bring this up.

It’s pretty similar to the situation a lot of beginner freelancers find themselves in.

They roll out the red carpet for Wimpy clients, who “will gladly pay Tuesday” but want the work done today.

They find themselves in under-bidding food fights with other freelancers who desperately want to attract the same fake-aristocrat moochers.

And when it all comes to nothing — and how could it not, with a Wimpy client — they have no alternative but to blame the competition.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

As I mentioned over the past coupla days, I’m putting together a group where I help newbie freelance copywriters to get successful.

If you’re interested in participating, all you gotta do is let me know.

You can send me an email, or throw a leg of pork my way.

Either way, I’ll follow up with you to see how your copy diner is cooking, and how I could help you run it better.

Unfair Upwork advantage

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In a couple of weeks, I’ll be getting off Upwork entirely.

Which is kind of a shame, because I’ve built up a lot of insight into how that platform works and how to win high-paying copywriting jobs there.

At the same time, I know that some of the people who read my blog are aspiring copywriters and would-be freelancers.

And so last night, I had an idea.

I imagined putting together a kind of group where I share what I’ve learned about succeeding on Upwork, and where I provide ongoing guidance to anyone who’s interested in doing the same. If you’re just starting out on Upwork, I feel like this would be an “unfair advantage” over everybody else on there.

Bad for them. Good for you.

But here’s the thing:

I haven’t decided yet whether I will actually create this group — or what form it will take.

If you’re not interested in any of this, no need to do anything.

But in case you are interested, simply write me an email and let me know.

If there is enough interest, I’ll follow up with you directly to see where you’re at and how I could structure this group to best help you.

Claude Hopkins and Gary Halbert meet over a barrel of whiskey

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Back in a village in 19th-century Michigan, there lived an influential man.

He was the leader of his community.

Head of the school board.

Couldn’t read or write.

Here’s his secret to achieving influence in spite his handicap:

Following a ship wreck some years earlier, a large barrel of whiskey washed ashore Lake Michigan.

This man found the barrel, and he put it in the corner of his living room.

He was generous with the whiskey. Folks started dropping by his house. They would sit on soap boxes next to the barrel and discuss local gossip.

In time, his house became the headquarters of the local community. And he became the leader.

I read this story in My Life in Advertising by Claude Hopkins.

It made me think of something I’d heard in a long-lost recording of another influential marketer, Gary Halbert.

Says Gary: marketing is a process, not an event.

In other words, when businesses buy (or luck upon) a big barrel of whiskey…

They often use it to throw a one-day party for the whole village.

The next day, everybody’s groggy, but a few villagers say, “Bro, that was awesome.”

A week later, however, nobody remembers or cares who threw the big party. And all the whiskey’s gone.

It’s better to keep the drip of whiskey coming, evening after evening…

All the while listening to what folks are saying as they sit around your living room…

While gradually gaining their respect and trust, and nudging them towards seeing you as the village elder.

That’s a process.

Of course, you need to start somewhere. Such as by sending out invitations to your whiskey barrel that get the attention of whiskey lovers within a country mile of your living room. And if you want to see one effective way of doing this, check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The power of negative thinking

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“Just go talk to her!”

I was walking on the street a few days ago. The sun was shining, there was a cool breeze, and lots of good-looking women were out and about.

Each time one of these monsters passed by, wrapped up in her headphones, masked with her sunglasses, I would tell myself to go talk to her.

Of course, all that happened is that I tensed up.

These women on parade were too intimidating.

​​Or too busy.

​​Or too something.

In the past, I’d tried hyping myself up.

“What’s the big deal?” I would say. “She’d probably be super happy to get a compliment. And maybe you will hit it off. It could be a win-win!”

That would always get me excited. And that was all.

Because more good-looking women would pass by…

And I still wouldn’t go talk to any of them.

So a few days ago, I did the opposite. I told myself the ugly truth:

“Why not just go home? You probably won’t talk to any of these women. It’s too hard. Or maybe you’re just too weak. Or not good enough at problem solving. Whatever the reason, odds are you’re wasting your time. You should probably just head home.”

If you’ve ever read Jim Camp’s Start With No, you might recognize this as a “negative stripline.”

That’s when you’re in a negotiation, and your adversary is having doubts, concerns, or vague bad feelings.

At this point, according to Camp, the worst thing you can do is to paint a sunny and bright picture.

Instead, you want to be honest. Brutally honest.

“You’re probably right,” Camp would say to such an adversary. “This probably won’t work out. It’s probably best if we just cut off this negotiation right now and stop wasting your time.”

What happens when you do this?

Well, all I can say is what happened to me. I finally got to talking to some beautiful, intimidating women. Because the negative stripline works even when your negotiating adversary is yourself.

So if you’re not seeing real results from the power of positive thinking, whether in social situations, or in business…

Then try negative thinking.

And whatever you do, don’t let me know how it works out for you.

2 advertorial lessons from Joe Sugarman’s BluBlockers

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Right now, I’m looking at a pair of ugly, orange, bug-like sunglasses that are lying on my desk.

I’ve only worn them a few times in my life.

Each time, people made fun of me for how stupid I looked.

The glasses in question are called BluBlockers, and they are the brainchild of one Joe Sugarman.

Joe is a big-time direct marketer. He initially made lots of money in the 1970s selling electronic gadgets such as digital watches, pocket calculators, and programmable thermostats.

But none of it compared to BluBlockers, which became a $300 million bug-eyed behemoth.

And it all started with a single ad that Joe wrote, which ran under the headline “Vision Breakthrough.”

This ad offers (at least) two big lessons if you are writing advertorials today.

The first is curiosity.

Joe keeps going on about how incredible it is to look at the world through the BluBlockers.

Everything seems sharper.

Clearer.

More vibrant.

Of course, he can describe it all he wants. You’ll never know what it’s like to actually wear these hideous things until you put them on.

And that, according to Joe himself, was one of the main reasons why people bought the BluBlockers initially.

This curiosity approach is something I’ve tried in several recent advertorials for physical products. One was for a way for women to create boob cleavage even if they are flat-chested. The other was for an all-natural, all-effective way to wash clothes without detergent (“I don’t know how it gets clothes this clean, but it works”).

The other lesson I drew from Joe’s “Vision Breakthrough” ad is both more practical and more broadly applicable than simple curiosity.

I won’t spell out what it is here.

But I will include it in an upcoming report on advertorials I am preparing.

For now, you might be interested in another kind of secret.

Such as how to write simple 3-sentence applications that win you $150/hr jobs on Upwork.

You can find the answer to that in my Upwork book, which is still available on Amazon.

But come tomorrow, it will go underground, only to reappear later, in much the same form, but off Amazon, and at a much higher price.

In case you want to grab this book while it’s still cheap and available, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

Contradicting the great Parris Lampropoulos

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A while back, I wrote about a critique I’d gotten from Parris Lampropoulos.

Parris is an ultra-successful copywriter, who gave me some advice about a sales letter I’d written.

“The body copy is fine,” he said.

“But you never want the headline to tip off that you’re selling something.”

The only exception, according to Parris, is if you’re the first person in a market.

I took Parris’s advice to heart. And I believe it’s made my copy better.

BUT!

I’ve just had a bit of contradictory feedback from one of my clients.

These guys sell physical products through ads on Facebook, which lead to advertorials.

I’ve been writing both the ads and the advertorials. The headlines I’ve been using strictly avoid mentioning the product.

So I was surprised to hear that the client tested out some new headlines, which mention both the product and the price.

Doing this decreased clickthroughs (expected) but increased sales (very unexpected).

This kind of boggles my weary mind. Especially, since the products we’re advertising aren’t unique (dozens of competitors sell identical stuff) and the price isn’t a bargain (you’d be able to find much better deals on similar products by searching on Amazon).

Maybe this testing data point will be useful in case you too sell ecommerce products through advertorials.

And it also shows that even the most iron-clad commandments of copywriting are only rules of thumb.

Yes, they increase your odds of success. But sometimes, breaking these commandments can produce better results. The only way to know is to test.

On an entirely different topic:

I currently have a book on Amazon about how I got $150/hr copywriting clients through Upwork.

I will be taking this book off Amazon this weekend. I will make it available some time later, but off Amazon, and at a higher price.

So if you want to read this book, at its current low price, while it’s still on Amazon, better act fast. Here’s the link to see what it’s all about:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

How to slowly become an A-list copywriter

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Gary Bencivenga, who is often called the greatest living copywriter, didn’t start out so great.

In various places, he’s admitted that he was quite mediocre for a good number of years.

So how did Gary rise to the very top, and make himself millions of dollars in royalties and fees in the process?

Well, he got better.

Much better.

Very slowly.

In fact, one inspiring piece of advice from Gary B. is to simply make yourself 1% better as a copywriter every single week.

How to do this? Here are a few ideas, all of which I personally practice:

First, read. About marketing, copywriting, or persuasion. (Right now, I’m reading E. Haldeman-Julius’s The First 100 Million.)

Second, write. For clients, and for yourself.

Third, spy. Each day, read one successful sales letter for a few minutes. Spend another few minutes hand-copying some other ad.

Do all this every day,  and you can reasonably say you’re getting a 1% boost in your copywriting skills every week.

And here’s the thing:

1% a week compounds.

So at the end of the year, you aren’t just 52% better… you’re 68% better. At the end of 2 years, you’re 181% better. And at the end of 5 years, you become so valuable that the sun itself starts to melt and implode when it catches a glimpse of your skills.

Or not. But if you get 1% better each week, and you keep it up, you will eventually become one of the very best in this field.

But you do have to get started.

Because this compounding thing works best when you give it time. And every week you miss will cost you big a few years down the line.

And here’s one last tip:

If you’re fairly new to copywriting, it’s possible to get better much faster than 1% a week. I’d estimate about 1,000% in 60 days’ time.

Specifically, I’m thinking of CopyHour, a program which combines all 3 of the steps I’ve listed above.

In case this is something that interests you, better act fast. And not only because of compounding. Enrollment for CopyHour is currently open, but it will be closing at the end of this weekend. Here’s the link for more info:

​http://copyhour.com/​