How to write for political causes you don’t believe in

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A soul-searching question popped up on Reddit a few days ago:

“Would you write copy for a political cause you don’t believe in?”

To which I replied — I already have.

And I enjoyed it.

The story is that back in 2015, when the election was ramping up, I was hired to write some fundraising copy for an organization backing Bernie Sanders.

That went well, and so I got hired for a second job, writing fundraising copy for organization backing Trump.

And then Hillary.

And even Lyin’ Ted Cruz.

Altogether, I wrote about two dozen landing pages tying into current news, prophesying how the country is going to hell if the other guy gets elected, and soliciting donations.

Now, as you can imagine, I cannot align politically with both Bernie and Donnie, both Hillary and Ted.

In fact, I don’t really align with any of them.

And maybe that’s why it wasn’t any kind of issue for me to treat this as a simple sales copywriting job. After all, I often have to promote products that I’m not the target market for. It’s not hard to do, as long as you do a lot of research about the target market, and you figure out what moves them.

However, in the future, I would NOT write for the same political organizations that hired me back in 2015 and 2016. But that’s another topic for another time.

On the other hand, if I did get a direct call from Trump Tower — or from the deep woods of Vermont — offering me a retainer to write fundraising copy for the next election…

Well, I’d consider it.

Until that call comes, I’ll keep working on more traditional sales copy. Such as sales emails, promoting nutritional supplements and online health courses.

And if you want to read some of the lessons I’ve learned by working on such capitalist endeavors, you can find them in the following:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

She-Wolwerine is alive and well — in Scotland

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Jo Cameron, a 71-year-old woman from Scotland, can claim to be the female version of the X-Man Wolverine.

And just in case you think I’m pulling your adamantium leg, consider the following:

For starters, grandma Cameron feels no pain.

In fact, there were times when she smelled the sizzling of her own flesh before noticing she had put her hand on the burning stove.

The weird thing is that people who don’t feel pain typically don’t live very long — their unfelt injuries pile up and kill them before they get to their 30’s.

Not so for X-Cameron.

That’s because she also seems to have a superior healing ability. Her mauled and scorched flesh heals quickly, usually without a scar. That’s how she could reach age 71, in spite of constantly taking stove damage.

On top of this, the woman never feels any fear, anxiety, or depression. She even has several unique genetic mutations that scientists have never seen before.

And here’s the crazy thing. ​​It turns out this She-Wolverine didn’t even realize she had any superpowers until a few months ago. She thought she wasn’t unique in any way.

And that ties into the plot of today’s issue of my daily email serial:

You too might have resources that you don’t appreciate.

​​Here’s another example to get you thinking:

Some 20 years ago, pioneering Internet marketer Joe Vitale had an email list of around 800 names. Up till then, he hadn’t done anything with this list.

But at some point, Joe got a hankerin’ to buy a BMW Z3.

And he set his mind on paying the $40,000 price tag by hustling up new money, instead of tapping into savings.

So he looked over his assets…

And he noticed the unused email list.

And he decided to create an online course, delivered entirely through email, which he would pitch hard to this list.

The price of the course?

$1,500.

Long story short, 20-odd people bought Joe’s email-only course. He got his Z3. And it was all financed by an otherwise inactive list.

Now, you might not have an unused email list sitting around.

But you probably have at least some other resources — whether it’s real-life connections, a Facebook audience, or skills that you can trade and barter.

And if you do create some kind of an offer, and you need ideas on how to promote it successfully to an email list, then young mutant, head over to the following page:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

The case against 60-day money-back guarantees

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A couple weeks back, I was lurking in a Facebook group when I saw an inflammatory post.

Let me first give you a bit of background.

The Facebook group where this post appeared is for people, like myself, who plopped down $500 at some point to get an online course called the Energy Blueprint.

​​The Energy Blueprint is offered by a guy called Ari Whitten, and it’s all about scientifically proven ways to increase your energy (if you’re healthy) — or to overcome fatigue (if you’re not).

Now, if you think about it, you’ll soon realize one important thing:

Claiming to have the solution to something as chronic and ill-defined as fatigue will attract at least a few people with a strong victim mentality.

Such as the author of the inflammatory post I mentioned at the start.

The post itself has been taken down, so I can’t quote it verbatim. But it basically said:

“This course hasn’t helped me one bit. I don’t have the money to buy all these supplements or to do all the treatments. I tried getting a refund but I was told it was 4 days out of the 60-day refund period. I just want to warn everybody that Ari Whitten is a scammer who’s taking advantage of people.”

Now, many people in Ari’s group immediately jumped to his defense, saying how much he’s helped them.

A few even cried, “Two months is not long enough to see how well the course works!”

Which might be true. But in that case, why offer a two-month guarantee?

Personally, I think there are two valid approaches to money-back guarantees.

The first tries to draw more people in. In this case, the guarantee should be as long and generous as possible — a year, five years, a lifetime.

The other approach focuses on the quality of your customers.

It’s what people like Ben Settle do, which is basically to say, “Only buy if you’re sure you want this, because there are absolutely no refunds.”

The thing is, both of these approaches can work, and they can work well.

The “generous guarantee” people will tell you that longer guarantees mean higher sales, but they also result in FEWER refunds.

Perhaps counterintuitively, Ben also claims that NOT offering a guarantee actually hasn’t lowered his sales any — and may have even increased them. And of course, his approach eliminates all the headaches that come with refunds and the people who demand them.

In other words, both extremes seem to be good when it comes to guarantees.

What you don’t want to do, at least in my opinion, is offer a wishy-washy 60-day guarantee — which can backfire on you like it did on Ari Whitten.

As for me, I don’t have any kind of guarantees for my copywriting services. Sometimes, I’ve written copy for clients, and it bombed. Other times, I’ve written copy and it was a big success.

I’ve gotten paid in both cases.

And I have learned some lessons from these failures and successes. In case you want to know what those lessons are, you might like the following free, no-risk offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

How to help your prospects grasp the horror of buying from the competition

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Having trouble getting hard? Don’t get suckered into buying yohimbe. Here’s why…

A couple of days ago, I talked about the proven and ancient copywriting principle of “grasping the advantage.”

That’s when you tell your prospect how your product is unique…

And you then paint the picture of all the ways this uniqueness will gently make your prospect’s life better.

Today, I want to point out a technique I spotted in a top-performing sales letter. In a way, this technique is the negative version of “grasping the advantage.” You might call it “grasping the horror.”

The sales letter in question was written by A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos, and it promoted a natural boner pill.

After going through all the ingredients of this pill and helping the reader grasp the advantage of each, this letter addressed the competition.

Among which, there is yohimbe. A natural, fat-burning, erection-promoting supplement.

Yohimbe wasn’t safe enough to be included in this pill, says Parris. That’s because yohimbe can raise blood pressure.

Now, at this point, Parris has basically stated the disadvantage of yohimbe. But that’s not enough. After all, maybe the prospect doesn’t realize why higher blood pressure is a problem.

Don’t worry. Parris immediately makes him grasp the horror of this disadvantage:

“Because yohimbe raises blood pressure,” Parris says, “it puts you at risk for stroke, heart attack, kidney failure, and seizures.”

Whoa. Better not mess around.

Of course, there’s some clever sleight of hand here.

Just because yohimbe raises blood pressure, it doesn’t mean it will cause stroke (in normal doses, it might only raise blood pressure marginally, not enough to create problems).

Parris gets around this with the vague phrase “puts you at risk.” This phrase connects the two pieces of information and makes the connection seem inevitable.

The result is that his prospect grasps the horror — even if the competition isn’t all that bad.

Sneaky. ​​Speaking of which…

​Be careful in case you sell a supplement or other health product through email.

Most advice you’ll come across is from people who have zero experience in this kind of marketing.

And if you follow this dud advice, it can put you at risk of losing a ton of sales, of getting mass unsubscribes, or even of getting your domain blacklisted as spam.

None of which is necessary. If you just follow the advice in my upcoming book, which you can get a free copy of here:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

An inspirational sermon on the world’s greatest art thief

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In February of 1997, a man named Stephane Breitwieser walked into the Rubens House in Antwerp, Belgium.

It wasn’t his first visit to the museum.

In fact, he and his girlfriend, who helped him in many of his capers, had already staked it out multiple times.

You see, Breitwieser, only 25 at the time, was an expert in stealing art.

During his career, he stole over $1.4 billion worth of paintings, statues, jewelry, tapestries, chalices, weapons, musical instruments, and religious relics — all in broad daylight, without any violence, threats, or damage.

On this particular day, Breitwieser walked out with a small ivory figurine by a 17th-century master.

And he got away with it.

In fact, he kept getting away with it.

And as his successes mounted, he kept getting more brazen — and more addicted to stealing.

The amazing thing was he wasn’t doing any of it for money.

He never sold anything he stole.

Instead, he stashed it all in his room, on the top floor of his mother’s house, where he would lie around and admire all the beautiful things he now owned.

Of course, eventually Breitwieser’s extraordinary run came to an end.

He was arrested after returning to the Richard Wagner Museum in Switzerland, where he had stolen a little curled bugle several days earlier.

Once arrested, Breitwieser broke down at the police station, and wound up confessing to the theft of over 300 pieces, from over 200 museums.

Now here’s the instructional part.

Breitwieser eventually got out of jail.

And while he was legally forbidden from setting foot into the museums he had stolen from, he nonetheless made his way back to the Rubens House in Antwerp.

He looked at the statuette he had stolen twenty years earlier, which was reinstated in the exhibit.

And he realized that that day in February 1997 was probably the very high point of his life.

He had gotten such a rush from stealing.

He had amassed such a treasure trove of beautiful objects.

And he felt invincible — for a while.

But that was all long gone.

Now he was on the outside, and he would never be able to reclaim his former thieving glory.

Kind of a strange thought.

That a moment in your life, 20 years ago, was as good as it will ever get.

And that the rest of your life will only be one long anticlimax.

But here’s the thing.

Fortunately, you are probably not an art thief — real or aspiring.

And so, even if you look back in your past and realize that things used to be better than they are now…

There’s nothing stopping you from working towards a new goal, which will overshadow whatever pinnacle you had achieved in the past.

And the thing is, the very act of working towards that goal will give you more meaning and satisfaction than any past achievement could.

At least, that’s how I see it.

And how I try to live my life.

Maybe you disagree.

And if you do — or you need some inspirational copy written for your email list — get in touch with me and let me know what’s up.

“Grasping” the first image of a black hole

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Earlier today, a bunch of scientists got together around the world, in seven concurrent press conferences. Their task was to announce a monumental and counter-intuitive achievement:

The first photograph ever taken of a black hole.

There’s been a lot of buildup to this event and a lot of public interest.

And now we finally know what a black hole looks like.

It turns out it’s much as expected. Black.

But while the black hole itself doesn’t look too surprising, the freshly released image shows some other stuff too. In fact, the total image looks rather like an out-of-focus, melted piece of Werther’s candy. It’s an orangish doughnut, slightly shinier on one side than on the other.

A pretty picture.

And interesting.

But after wondering at it for a second, you might reasonably find it’s time to get back to your everyday life.

And therein lies today’s humble marketing lesson.

You see, there’s an incredible amount of scientific insight contained in this blurry picture.

That orangish blob is an infinitely complex object (literally), completely outside of the realm of anything we are used to seeing in normal conditions.

Plus there’s a mysterious and fascinating reason why one side of the blob is brighter than the other.

I found out all about this in a video put together by some well-meaning physicist on YouTube.

He used cardboard cutouts to illustrate what’s actually going on in the picture. He talked about general relativity, about something called the Schwarzschild radius, and about photons shooting off into infinity.

And after watching his video, I felt I really “understood” what the image of the black hole is.

It had much more meaning than simply seeing a blurry, half-melted Werther’s candy on a black background. The image will stay in my mind for much longer, and make a much bigger impact.

This applies to copywriting as well.

In fact, it’s a crucial but almost-forgotten lesson from Victor Schwab, one of the most famous direct marketing copywriters of all time.

Says Victor, every good advertisement first has to capture attention…

Then show an advantage…

And then, crucially, help the reader GRASP that advantage.

In other words, it’s not enough to simply say your $80 t-shirt is made from the finest, most breathable, most durable merino wool.

You also have to make the reader grasp that if he buys this t-shirt…

He will get a soft friend he can comfortably and stylishly wear — for the rest of his life.

That’s the difference between simply seeing the first picture of the black hole, and grasping what it shows.

Anyways, no self-promotion for today. If you’d like to take a look at the enlightening video I mentioned, so you can grasp the first image of a black hole ever released, then head on over here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUyH3XhpLTo​​

5 smelly sinkholes of market info for ecommerce advertorials

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Lately, I’ve been writing a ton of advertorials for viral ecommerce products — everything from dog seat belts to neck traction devices to portable smoothie blenders.

For each product, most of the “writing” is actually research.

And along the way, I’ve realized that some of the most obvious places to do market research for these kinds of products…

Are also the worst options. Here are the top 5 to STAY AWAY from:

#1. Amazon product descriptions
Market info value: 1/5

In my experience, copy is not the primary driver of sales on Amazon.

It’s not even secondary. It probably comes in fourth or fifth place, after the star rating, images, reviews, and probably price.

What’s more, I feel that much of the copy in Amazon product descriptions is actually written for the Amazon recommendation algorithm — and not for actual buyers.

That’s why this copy won’t tell you anything about your market, and why you should largely ignore it. ​​

#2. Amazon reviews
Market info value: 3/5

Ben Settle wrote recently how he doesn’t trust Amazon reviews for market research. Says Ben: Amazon reviews are mainly written by disgruntled trolls.

The situation is even worse for viral ecommerce products. Most Amazon reviews in this segment are actually written by paid shills.

On top of this, popular products can have thousands of reviews, so it makes it hard to separate the rice from the millet.

There are ways around this (that’s why Amazon reviews gets a 3/5). But the gist is that most Amazon reviews aren’t trustworthy for getting an insight into your consumer’s mind.

#3. Product websites
Market info value: 2/5

Viral ecommerce products typically have shiny websites with beautiful pictures.

The thing is, anybody who lands on these websites and decides to buy was sold long before, through other channels.

In other words, the copy on these websites is not what made people buy — and it’s not something to imitate. ​​

#4. Facebook
Market info value 1/5

Many viral ecommerce products are marketed heavily on Facebook.

Unfortunately, the copy of the ads (if there is any) usually focuses on the product, and not the audience’s desires.

On top of this, the comments that appear on these ads tend to be worthless — they usually consist of “pp” [“price please”] or “I want this!” (I guess in hopes one of your FB friends or relatives will buy you whatever it is you want).

#5. YouTube reviews
Market info value: 3/5

YouTube reviews can be useful because you can see the product in action.

However, like with Amazon reviews, most YouTube reviews of viral products are by people who are doing this for money, or because they love getting free crap to review.

In other words, most YouTube reviewers did not actually buy the product. That’s why most likely cannot tell you the real thoughts/concerns/desires of people who would buy this product.

And there you have it.

5 smelly sinkholes you’ll want to beware of.

So where should you look for good info on your market?

I’m afraid I won’t be giving away all my secrets tonight. However, this is something I’ll cover in my upcoming book, which you can get for FREE if you sign up at the page below:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Dirty deeds done at premium, non-negotiable rates

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Here’s a little story to warm you up:

“There are two bums sitting on a park bench. They had just woken up from a long night’s winter sleep covered up with newspapers. And the one bum had found a butt of a cigar on the ground. As he was lighting it, he said, ‘You know Bill, one good thing they can say about us is we always have the lowest price in town.'”

This story comes from Jim Camp, one of the world’s most influential philosophers of negotiation.

So what’s Camp’s point?

Well, let me tell you using Camp’s own words. First, here’s Camp’s thinking when he’s on the buying side:

“If you want people to be responsible, all you have to do is pay their asking price. Once you begin to cut their price or drive their price down, if there’s any glitches of failures, it’s your fault. [The other side can just say,] “I’m finding out I can’t deliver what I thought I could.'”

Maybe you’re not impressed with Camp’s unwillingness to haggle. In that case, prepare to be shocked, because Camp is unwilling to haggle in either direction. Here are his thoughts when he’s on the selling side:

“I have a price when I’m selling, and my price is never compromised. […] Everything I deliver is personal service. And if I discount that, I don’t like myself. I don’t feel good about what I’m doing. If I don’t like myself and what I’m doing then I’m not going to perform to my highest level of capability.”

So is Jim Camp right? Or wrong?

I think it’s really a question of what kind of business you want to run, and what kinds of people you want to deal with.

I personally don’t like haggling, and I don’t like working with people who do.

That’s why my attitude from the start of my copywriting career has never been, “Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.”

Instead, it’s been, “Dirty deeds, done at premium, non-negotiable rates.”

Of course, I’ve had to improve my skills along the way in order to justify my ever-increasing rates. The surprising thing is, the more I charge, the more value I wind up delivering to clients.

Just something to think about when you’re thinking of discounting your own prices.

And here’s something else to think about:

I’m generally fully booked up with client work these days, because I have 3 clients with ongoing projects and never-ending need for copy.

In other words, I’m not hungry for more client work.

But I also want to keep in touch with potential new clients. So I’ve set aside two one-hour slots each month to talk to clients, share whatever advice I can, and see if it makes sense for us to work together.

I haven’t yet automated this whole process, but if you’re interested in taking me up on one of these two slots for the month of April, you can get started by taking me up on the following offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

The “magic wand” technique for creating sexy sales hooks

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Here’s some hard-core nerd stuff for you:

If you are into copywriting, it helps to pretend you have a magic wand.

No, I’m not kidding.

As just one example of how useful a magic wand can be, let me tell you about a magic spell I learned from one of the most fearsome copy sorcerers out there, the mighty Parris Lampropoulos. This spell is called “The Sexy Hook.” It goes like this:

You take your magic wand…

You take your ordinary product — the thing you’re looking to promote…

And then with a wave of your wand, you say the magic incantation:

“With this wand, I now conjure the most amazing benefit/story/idea to help me promote this ordinary product.”

Sounds stupid?

Bear with me. Because stupid or not, this actually works. Let me illustrate.

I am currently re-working a sales letter for a probiotic supplement.

Probiotics can be tied to every aspect of your health. Which means it’s hard to pick just one good angle to start with.

Enter the magic wand.

I asked myself, since I have a magic wand, what would be the best possible thing I could conjure up to sell these little pills?

And I thought. And I pondered. And I reflected.

Ideally, I said to myself, I would want something that would win over the largest, most desperate, and most skeptical parts of this market.

Say, a scientific study. Which describes people who are doubled over with abdominal pain… constantly exploding on the toilet… and not being helped by any other medical treatment.

And then these suffering people would take an ingredient found in my probiotic supplement — and find their awful problems solved, beyond a reasonable doubt.

A wave of the magic wand (and several hours of research) later…

And whoosh.

There it was. The scientific study I was looking for. Published just a couple of years ago. And not part of the extensive research that the client had given me.

Real magic.

Hopefully this spell helps you the next time you’re stuck marketing your product. Just don’t share this knowledge broadly. It’s too embarrassing.

And if you have an ordinary (or extraordinary) product you’d like some help in promoting, then wave your nerd stick, head on over to the page below, and take advantage of my magical offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

 

5 out of 6 copywriting tricks are worthless

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In 2009, back when Twitter was blowing up, a friend of mine had an idea for a website.

It was called 5 Out Of 6, and it was a kind of “Hot or Not” for ironic fake statistics, all starting with “5 out of 6…” Here are a few examples:

“5 out of 6 bananas aren’t slippery”

“5 out of 6 Elvis songs contain the word ‘well'”

“5 out of 6 U-turns are illegal”

People could vote on which fake statistics they found funny, and they could submit their own fake statistics into the mix.

The plan was to make this website go viral, then take the best fake statistics, put them into a coffee table book, and get Oprah to endorse it. Millions of dollars would follow easily.

Alas. It did not work out.

But there was sound psychology behind the idea.

It turns out that people understand statements such as “5 out of 6 bananas” much better than “83% of bananas.”

I found out about this from Nobel-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman. Here’s the relevant passage from his book, Thinking, Fast and Slow:

“Why is the question ‘How many of the 100 participants…’ so much easier than ‘What percentage…’? […] The solution to the puzzle appears to be that a question phrased as ‘How many?’ makes you think of individuals, but the same question phrased as ‘What percentage?’ does not.”

In short, this is just one of those quirks of the human brain. Our brains like stories, individual people, and human-scale ideas. We don’t do well with statistics, large numbers, or abstractions.

That’s something to remember the next time you have to present numbers in a sales message.

The thing is, in 5 out of 6 pieces of sales copy, it won’t matter whether you use “how many” or “what percentage.”

It won’t matter if you use “but” instead of “and.”

And it won’t matter whether you call your offer “swoon-worthy” or “dazzling.”

That’s because in 5 out of 6 cases, what you say matters much more than how you say it.

I’ll talk more about this tomorrow. For now, if you want some swoon-worthy copy for your business, then act now, don’t risk delaying, and take me up on this free offer:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/