How to get rich selling socks to foot fetishists

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I just read that Will Singleterry is selling Reformed Roasters.

Never heard of either Will or Reformed Roasters? Here’s the pitch from the Reformed Roasters site:

“Ultra-Premium Coffee, Masterfully Roasted to the Glory of the One Most High”

From what I can tell, Reformed Roasters is Will’s ecommerce store selling coffee to Reformed Christians, which is some particular sect or segment of the larger faith. The company features blends like “Limited Atonement” and “Total Depravity.”

Altogether, it sounds like an unlikely business. But Will was apparently able to bring Reformed Roasters to $40k/month, within 2 months of starting.

And to that, all I can is HOSANNAH.

It shows just how crazy powerful it is to simply pick a dedicated group of people, create a relationship with them (Will would send them daily emails about religious doctrine, and sign off by saying “and if you want some caffeinated glory…”), and then sell them a consumable product.

In a way, this is the same thing that Alex Jones did with conspiracy theorists and supplements. And I’m sure many other small niche businesses are out there, under my radar, but raking in cash hand over hoof by doing the same thing.

So why can’t you do some version of this? Maybe you could try selling…

Socks to foot fetishists (“Andalusian Spree Muffs”)…

Toothpaste to Deadheads (“Dire Wolf Dentifrice”)…

Or hair gel to Twilight fans (“Solid Fanpire”).

It doesn’t really seem to matter what you sell. As long as you first take some kind of strong stand, or pick the right rabid subculture. Because as Jason Leister recently wrote:

“Why is it so effective to ‘stand for something?’ It’s effective because it helps your listeners/readers/subscribers make an easier decision about whether or not you belong in their life.”

Unfortunately, I don’t stand for anything yet. But I’m working on it.

​​In the meantime, if you’d like some copywriting glory, specifically in the advertorial format, then check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Minesweeping for copywriting clients

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I was talking to someone recently and I mentioned how I’d gotten off Upwork a few months ago.

“So how do you get clients now?” she asked.

I paused and thought. “I don’t really know.”

Well, I’ve thought about it a bit more. Here are the facts:

Since getting off Upwork, I’ve had some old clients get back in touch with new projects…

I’ve also had some referrals that turned into actual work…

And finally, I applied for and got one email writing job that was advertised within Ben Settle’s paid newsletter.

And while it’s been enough work (along with my ongoing clients) to keep me busy, I’d like to have a more steady drip-drip of new leads.

So I’ve taken the advice of several successful copywriters (Chris Orzechowski and Roy Furr), and I’ve started putting together a list of businesses I would like to write for.

The goal was to put together 50 such companies. I’ve been at it for about a month. And so far I have… 8.

In spite of the fact that good direct marketing companies should be easy to track down (they run ads, right?), I’m not finding it so easy to actually find them.

It’s kind of like that old game Minesweeper that used to come with Windows.

You click on one square, hoping it will open up a whole patch of the board that’s free of mines…

But it turns out to be just one stupid revealed square, with no extra information, and you’re back to where you started.

At least that’s how it feels for a while.

But if you keep it up (so I tell myself), the Minesweeper field starts to open up and you get a better idea of where those mines (ahem, clients) might be hiding.

(By the way, did you know that Minesweeper happens to be an NP-complete game? That’s a fancy computer science term that means Minesweeper is pretty damn complex. And that progress in the game probably won’t be linear, and might require going down some dead ends.)

Anyways, the point of all this is to inspire myself, and maybe you as well. Because if you keep putting in the work, eventually results will start to follow. Either that, or you land on a mine and blow off your foot. (Haha, nervously.)

Of course, maybe you’re not off Upwork. Maybe you’re just trying to get started there. (And why not? It’s a good place to get clients, and it worked well for me for years.) In that case, you might like this collection of the tricks and strategies I used while I was still on Upwork:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

A legendary copywriter tells you where to shove your USP

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A few years back, I got hired to write a home page for an innovative company.

They were selling “European-style” windows to Americans.

These windows could be opened in all sorts of ways… they offered better sound and temperature insulation… and they looked hella European.

In other words, this was a superior product that would sell itself if described in detail.

So I wrote up the home page to explain the main advantages of these windows, and to back them up with facts.

“It’s ok,” the client said when I delivered the copy, “but I was hoping you could make the copy more like what I see in ads for Apple.”

This is one of my pet poofs.

I understand the temptation to want to imitate Apple. Apple products are everywhere, the company is hugely successful, and there’s a mystique to their marketing.

​​But none of those are reasons for a tiny business to try to ape Apple’s copywriting or advertising. ​​I think many of the arguments why are obvious, so I won’t drag on the point here.

I just wanted to bring this story up because of an interesting article I read recently.

The article was written by copywriting and marketing legend Mark Ford. Mark is one of the people responsible for making Agora the giant direct response business that it is today.

​​He’s also the author of many books on business and marketing and copywriting (including Great Leads, which I highly recommend).

Anyways, Mark was asked how copywriters should come up with a USP — a unique selling proposition — to help them position and market themselves.

After all, every business, even a one-man service business, needs a USP, right?

Maybe, and maybe not.

If you’re a copywriter — or you have any other kind of small business — then I think Mark’s article is worth a read.

It tells you where you can shove your USP, though of course Mark doesn’t use those words, because he’s a very classy man. Here’s the link to the article:

https://www.markford.net/2019/08/21/8720/

Beto O’Rourke illustrates clever Joe Sugarman idea

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I just listened to a discussion about how to structure an unusual sales letter.

The product on sale is a training video for an AR-15.

That’s a short-barrel assault rifle, in case you don’t know. I didn’t, so I had to look it up online.

A few minutes later, I went on Reddit. And I felt like I was having deja vu.

Because right there on the front page, there were two (countem: 2!) stories about Beto O’Rourke and AR-15s.

Apparently BO’ said something about revoking gun rights in the Dem debate last night.

And one Texas politician tweeted in response, “My AR-15 is ready for you.” (Which I guess you could take in two ways. The obvious, threatening way. Or the conciliatory, “You’re right Beto, come pick up my AR-15” kind of way.)

Anyways, this Beto catfight would make a perfect hook right now for an ad or an advertorial to precede that AR-15 sales letter.

And that’s a general thing you can try to do with all your promotions.

It doesn’t have to be the day’s fleeting news, and it doesn’t have to be as tightly connected to your product as Beto is to AR-15s.

It can also be general current trends that have nothing to do with you or your product.

For example, I remember reading how Joe Sugarman once wrote a press release for snowmobile rentals at a ski resort.

This was back in the late 1960s, when the Women’s Lib movement was dominating the news.

So Joe, intuitive marketing genius that he is, wrote a press release that said:

“Ski Resort Bans Women Snowmobile Drivers”

Why? Because they drive badly and cause accidents.

If I remember correctly, it caused a nationwide uproar. The ski resort was forced to revoke its female-centric ban. But during and after this whole uproar, snowmobile rentals also exploded at the resort.

Something to keep in mind if you’re trying to drum up publicity for your offer.

And if you’re running ads or advertorials, and you want more ideas besides tying them into current news, then check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Email outreach that smells worse than a wet dog

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There’s a bitch who lives downstairs from me named Lisa.

Lisa is usually sitting in the yard when I go out of the house.

Each time I see her, I pet her and give her a dog treat (she’s some kind of GSD mix).

Today however, Lisa got wet.

I don’t know how, because there was no rain. ​​

But ​t​he poor thing smelled like sewage mixed with a kelpy ocean breeze.

I tried to pet her as usual. No go. Then I tried with just two fingers. But she was really too repulsive.

​​”I’m sorry baby,” I told her. “Maybe when you dry off.”

When I got back home, I sat down to write a cold email.

This is to a potential new copywriting client.

And the Lisa lesson stayed in my mind and in my nose.

Because when you’re writing cold emails, it’s easy to smell worse than a wet, puffy dog. All you have to do is to reek of need.

I can’t describe how need smells, but it’s a very unique, very recognizable, and very repulsive aroma.

Fortunately, it’s a pretty easy smell to eliminate.

Simply eliminate the need and the smell goes with it.

“Yea John,” you might complain, “easier said than done.”

No, no. It’s really not that hard to get rid of need. I’ll talk about how in my upcoming guide on negotiating for freelancers. This will be one of the free bonuses to my revamped Upwork book.

If you want to get notified when this book and the free bonuses become available, you can sign up with your email here:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

How to make money with an empty movie theater

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There were six of us altogether.

My mom and I were in the last row.

In the row in front of us, there was a middle-aged couple.

One row further down, there was another child/parent pair.

Six people altogether, in a movie theater that seats about 100.

It didn’t help that we were here to see a melodramatic German-language reworking of A Few Good Men, without Jack Nicholson, and with immigrants and Nazis instead of U.S. Marines.

But in spite of the lack of interest, this movie theater seems to be making money.

Of course, not from ticket sales.

Probably not even from the popcorn.

But from other uses of their good space.

For example, before the movie started, and ad told me that I could rent out the movie theater during the day for a business conference. Nobody wants to go see a movie at 11am, it seems, but plenty of people want to hear a boring PowerPoint presentation (hey, it’s better than sitting at the office).

And that’s not all.

This movie theater is also selling its own take-home popcorn. You can buy a box of movie-theater-style popcorn, at a premium I suppose, to take home and pop in your own microwave.

All of this reminded me of marketing magus Jay Abraham.

One of Jay’s big things is figuring out what assets a business might have that it’s not cashing in on.

Such as unused capacity (the movie theater business conferences)…

Or patentable processes (the movie theater popcorn).

But it’s not just movie theaters that can do this. Almost all businesses have such assets. So maybe start looking around and seeing things that you take for granted, or that even have zero value for you, but that somebody else might be willing to pay for.

So much for that topic. Onto something else.

If you need help with a different kind of marketing, specifically advertorials to promote ecommerce products, then maybe you will be interested in my upcoming book on the topic:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Crying over spilled copywriting projects

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I recently started work on a project that was doomed from the start.

As soon as the client sent over the product, I realized it is, frankly, shit.

So I wrote the client to say I could see two ways to move forward:

1) He could find somebody else to write the sales letter, or

2) He could improve the product

He responded defending the product. And saying how it’s not the copywriter’s job to worry whether the product is any good or not.

I don’t agree. And if you like, I’ll tell you why.

Reason 1 is the time and effort I put in. If I’m working on this project, I will not be working on other, more promising projects. An hour or two promoting something hopeless might be ok. A week or a month is too much, at least in my book.

Reason 2 is the question of a success story in my portfolio vs. a burning barn filled with screaming cattle, which I think this project would have turned into.

Reason 3, if you need it, is simply the ethics of helping sell something that’s below a basic standard of quality.

But anyways, I’m not here to cry over spilled copywriting milk.

I just want to suggest that, as a copywriter, you have a stake in the outcome of a project, even if you’re not getting paid royalties or getting a share of the revenues.

That’s one thing.

The other thing is a bit about negotiation.

Because this client fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is, “Never get involved in a land war in Asia.”

But only slightly less well known is this, “Never double down when you’re trying to convince somebody who has serious doubts.”

So was there a better negotiation strategy that this client could have used?

I believe so.

In fact, I think he could have sucked me back into working on this project, without making many real changes to the product itself.

I’m gonna go over this strategy in my upcoming guide to negotiating for freelancers (yes, freelancers can also learn something from a client’s mistakes).

This guide will be one of the free bonuses to go with my  revamped book on succeeding on Upwork. If you want to get notified when I finish this up and publish it, you can sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

White jazz, the world’s deadliest hitman, and Prince’s text-speak

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I took a nap this afternoon and I never recovered.

So instead of my usual, valuable, and deadly dull post, here’s a list of 7 wonderful facts from all corners of the universe:

1. The word “jazz” was invented by white people. Many black jazz musicians in the 40s and 50s resented the term.

2. There’s an area in the Dominican Republic where men are born as girls and only transition to boys at age 12.

3. True story: A robber broke into a house, but he got distracted by a plate of brownies on the kitchen counter. He was finishing up the brownies when the family returned home. The robber ran out the back door and was never seen again.

4. The Xerox 914, the first photocopier, came with a fire extinguisher in case its heating elements set the paper alight.

5. Prince (the musician) used text-speak even when writing by hand. That’s probably how he wrote Nothing Compares 2 U.

6. The world’s deadliest hitman is thought to be one Julio Santana, a Brazilian with 500 kills to his name.

7. The fear of an electric shock is uncorrelated with the probability of receiving the shock. The mere possibility triggers the full-blown response.

You can’t make this kind of stuff up.

But you can write it down as you come across it.

And it makes sense to do so. Wonderful facts like these come in very useful during those long moments when you’re lacking any inspiration.

Anyways, if you need sales copy written, and if you need it now, then I’m afraid I can’t help you. Not at the moment, at least.

But if you want to talk about how to write advertorials to promote wonderful or even weird products, take a look here:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The Facebook shell game

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A few days ago, I got to listen in on an internal monthly call of a very successful direct response company.

They are making a big shift in how they run their business.

So far, they’ve gotten most of their traffic from Facebook.

But Facebook has been closing down their ad accounts.

It’s like a shell game. Every time this company figures they know what Facebook wants, they lift up the shell to find:

A big empty nothing.

Another closed ad account.

This echoes what I heard from another client.

They’ve also been getting ads shut down and ad accounts closed. Unlike the first company, they aren’t moving away from Facebook yet, though they are frantically trying to find new ways of advertising that Facebook will be okay with.

At this point, you might expect me to lay down some rap about how you don’t wanna build your business on somebody else’s platform.

Or how you don’t wanna rely on a big corporation more than you have to.

Or how you want to have a stable business built on long-term customer relationships rather than on constant acquisition of new clients.

But no, that’s not my point at all.

Quite the opposite.

I wanna praise Facebook.

I think now is a golden moment for marketers to invest heavy into Facebook.

Except, instead of thinking, “How can I get my penis enlargement offer to conform to Facebook’s ad standards…”

You should take a step back. And create an offer, and even a brand, that has one simple goal:

To comply with Facebook’s flighty tastes in advertisers.

If you can do this, there’s no better source of traffic right now.

Both of the clients I mentioned at the start feel this way.

And while they bravely embrace the challenge of adapting to their disappointments with Facebook, and though their businesses might be better off in the long run if they cut their dependence on Facebook, I think they would trade it all in a heartbeat for a few more months of being in Facebook’s good graces.

Anyways, something to think about.

Don’t go searching for an offer…

Or even for a starving crowd…

Instead, search for a funnel that Facebook will be happy with. And watch your business explode.

The Catch-22 of Jim Rutz

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“Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.”
Joseph Heller, Catch-22

I first read Catch-22 when I was 18.

I thought it was immensely funny. Not because it was filled with jokes (it’s not). But because each time I thought I had a grip on where the book was going, it slipped away from me and swam somewhere else.

And that’s very relevant for copywriting, too. As Jim Rutz, one of the most successful copywriters of all times, once wrote:

“You must surprise the reader at the outset and at every turn of the copy. This takes time and toil.”

I bet you know exactly how to surprise the reader.

And you know where to apply the time and toil that Rutz is talking about.

Because I just gave you a good clue, in  the quote above from Catch-22.

In case you don’t see the answer yet, read over the quote and it should become less and less obvious.

In the meantime, if you need surprisingly effective advertorial copy, the following might help you get a start:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/