Advertorials

Announcing: Horror Advertorial Swipe File

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A couple weeks ago, right after I ran a classified ad in Daniel Throssell’s newsletter, I got an email from a new reader:

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I just joined your list from Daniel Throssell’s classified ad and really love your Quick and dirty email training, especially because the companies you talk about pertain to ecom.

Was wondering, do you have any other ecom focused resources? Will gladly pay for them.

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I wrote back to ask the guy what he is doing and what specifically he is looking for.

It turns out he has a Shopify jewelry store in the affirmation niche. And he asked:

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Do you have a swipe file of story-based advertorials? Will gladly pay for it!

I noticed you talked about you using the story based advertorials in your story sells bonus as well.

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The background, as you might know, is, that between 2018 and 2021, I wrote dozens of front-end advertorials — basically mini sales letters — all following the same “horror story” structure. These advertorials were parts of cold-traffic funnels that, by my best estimate, brought in over $15 million in cold-traffic ecommerce sales.

The funnels that featured those horror advertorials are no longer running. Of course, I do still have the original copy. I haven’t ever sold it or shared it before. But I’m no longer taking on clients to write advertorials. So I asked myself, why not sell what I got?

I wrote back to the guy to say he could have a collection of my horror advertorials for $100.

He agreed and PayPaled me $100. Later that night, I drove to an empty parking lot behind an abandoned factory, and I dropped off a leather bag filled with my advertorials for him to pick up.

​​Well, not really. I just sent them to him via email.

But then, sitting on my couch with pen in hand, I had one of those Obvious Adams moments. If one person believes he can get value from a swipe file of story-based advertorials… maybe a second person also might? Or maybe even a third?

I’ll see.

Because right now I am making a collection of 25 of my horror advertorials for $100 to people on my email list.

The offers promoted by these advertorials include everything from anti-mosquito bracelets, bamboo fiber paper towels, fake diamonds, dog seat belts, stick-on bras, and kids’ vitamins.

Is it worth buying this horror-filled swipe file?

​​It depends.

A few days after I clandestinely dropped off the leather bag of advertorials in the abandoned factory parking lot, the jewelry store owner wrote me to say:

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I’ve been going through your advertorials and they’re incredible to study. Off the top of your head, do you have an idea of which ones stood out in terms of sales/performance?

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The fact is, success in these horror advertorial funnels was due more to the offer than the copy. A good/scary advertorial couldn’t reliably sell a bad/bland offer for very long. On the other hand, a good offer worked even without an advertorial, with an ad that went straight to the product page.

But combine a good offer with a good advertorial and the result was often a big success, and one that could last for years.

I don’t have exact sales numbers for any of these advertorials. But I definitely do know which ones ran for a long time, which ones sold well both on the front end to Facebook and YouTube traffic, and and on the back end via email.

So if you get this swipe file of 25 advertorials, I’ll also sense you a little welcome letter where I describe which of these advertorials were part of long-running successes, which advertorials I think are particularly strong, and which ones might be worth modeling for other reasons.

In this same letter, I also included a quick description of the overall structure of these horror advertorial funnels.

Speaking of funnels:

I encourage you NOT to buy this swipe file if you are simply looking for more swipe file content to hoard, or if you have no experience running cold traffic and are looking for a miracle in that department.

It only makes sense to buy this if you already have a functioning cold-traffic funnel — either for your own business or for a client’s business.

In that case, dropping in a horror advertorial into your existing funnels can help you get much more out of that cold traffic. That’s what happened with that kids’ vitamins advertorial I mentioned above. That client managed to profitably scale from $2k/day to $12k/day in daily ad spend by adding in one of my horror advertorials to their existing funnel.

Last thing:

If you do buy this swipe file, I have a special free (“free” as in no money) mystery offer for you. I will tell you about that offer in the email that delivers the zip file with the advertorials. Again, this offer will only be relevant if you already have a working cold-traffic funnel. In that case, even though this offer is free, it might easily be worth a few thousand dollars to you.

I am making this swipe file available until this Sunday, March 27 2023, at 12 midnight PST. After that I will take it down.

If it turns out there’s not much interest in this swipe file, I will drag the beast to the back of the house and quickly put it out of its misery. On the other hand, if it turns out there is interest, I will think about how to expand this and charge more for it.

In any case, if you want this swipe file, you will have to be on my list first, and before the deadline. To get on there in time, click here and fill out the form that appears.

If you have an ecommerce business, then I’d like to talk to you

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If you have an ecommerce business, and you want to make more front-end sales, increase your ad spend profitably, and make more money from your current customer list, then I’d like to talk to you.

I haven’t talked much about this over the past year — but these are things I know about.

My longest-running client, back when I still did client work regularly, was an 8-figure ecommerce business.

I wrote dozens of cold-traffic funnels from them, from snout to tail, including a unique front-end format I called the “horror advertorial.”

That client was consistently making up to 2,000 front-end sales each day, using a bunch of my “horror advertorial” funnels. Another client of mine went from $2k/day to $12k/day in daily ad spend by adding in one of my horror advertorials to their existing funnel.

I’ve also done email marketing for ecommerce businesses. I’ve worked with 8-figure direct response supplement businesses and tripled results in their email funnels. I’ve managed two 70,000-person email lists and pulled out free money for them out of thin air, month after month.

All that’s to say these are things I know about.

So if you have an ecommerce business, and you want my help or advice, then get on my email list. And then write me, and we can start a conversation.

Free course on advertorials

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A couple days ago, I got an email with the subject line, “Your Future Mentee.” I sighed, hung my head, and clicked to open the email. It read:

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I am a 25 year old entrepreneur who dropped out of medical school to pursue my dream of starting a business in the e-commerce industry.

I have been dropshipping for the past 2.5 years and have done over half a million in revenue so far. I recently came across “advertorials” and it instantly grabbed my attention.

After a bunch of research on Youtube I realized I could barely find technical videos showing exactly how to create advertorials for e-commerce/dropshipping stores.

Through browsing many videos on Youtube, I came across an interview you did on the “Chase Diamond Email Marketing” channel and the information you provided in the short 18 minutes helped me a ton.

I am extremely eager to start testing products on Facebook through advertorials and I was hoping you could guide me through the process a bit. I promise to not take too much of your time.

Please let me know if you have any availability for a brief zoom call so I can further introduce myself. I can also gladly communicate through email if that is easier for you.

Looking forward to your reply!

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Oh boy. Where to start? How about a free course on advertorials:

Between 2018 and 2021, I wrote dozens of five-page advertorials. These advertorials sold tens of millions of dollars of random ecomm products to cold Facebook and YouTube traffic. Supplements, shoe insoles, portable smoothie blenders.

After I got in the groove, it took me about a week to write each advertorial. A week might seem like a long time to write five pages, but four days of that went to research.

Research is something that apparently nobody else is willing to do.

In fact, in that Chase Dimond podcast episode, I mocked other advertorials that were running and not making sales. I know they weren’t making sales because my clients and I tested them. They weren’t making sales because were so clearly unbelievable — because the copywriter pulled them out of his head instead of doing research.

And so the first lesson of my free advertorial course is to thoroughly research anybody you are attempting to sell.

That lesson might seem obvious to you. But it certainly wasn’t obvious to my would-be future mentee.

For example, had my future mentee wanted to have a good chance to persuade me to become his mentor, he could have done some research on me first.

He could have searched on my website and read a few of the 1,400+ earlier emails I have written.

He could have found out I sell courses, and not for cheap, and I am therefore not likely to give away specific how-to information for free.

He could have found out I also offer a coaching program, and I don’t mentor new people unless they meet very specific criteria, and pay me a good deal of money to boot.

He could have found out that I have a sizeable and growing email list, that my days are eaten up by writing my daily emails, by creating new offers, by responding to paying customers, by delivering paid coaching, on top of my other projects, which I hint at from time to time.

In other words, with adequate research, this guy could have figured out that I am a terrible prospect for a “future mentee” whose big selling point is that he promises not to take too much of my time.

You might think I’m picking on a poor guy who is asking for help. That’s not my intent. I’m just trying to illustrate the shallowness of the persuasion that most people, including marketers, engage in by default.

And if you want a suitcase to float on as the Titanic sinks and all the other mice struggle in the cold water around you… then as the first step, do more work, and in particular, do more research than others are doing.

At this point, you might be worried that this is the end of my free course in advertorials.

But wait. There’s more.

Had my future mentee done a tiny bit more research, he would have come across my Copy Riddles program.

He would have found I currently offer a free bonus to go with Copy Riddles. That bonus is called Storytelling for Sales. It’s based on my experience writing all those advertorials.

Storytelling for Sales not a long training, and it is not an A-Z of ecommerce advertorial writing.

But along with Step 1: Research™, this Step 2: Storytelling for Sales covers 95% of what made my advertorials so effective, and of how I spent my time writing them.

Like I said, Storytelling for Sales is currently a free bonus for Copy Riddles.

But I will take it down at the end of this week, along with the other free bonus, Copywriting Portfolio Secrets. My plan is to flesh these bonuses out and turn them into paid upsells for Copy Riddles.

Don’t buy Copy Riddles just for the Storytelling for Sales free bonus.

But if you decide you want to get Copy Riddles, you have until Saturday Jan 21 at 12 midnight PST to get Storytelling for Sales and Copywriting Portfolio Secrets as free bonuses.

After then, Copy Riddles will remain available, but the free bonuses will disappear.

To get the whole package:

https://bejakovic.com/cr

Should getting more client work really be this easy?

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The first advertorial I ever wrote, back in 2016, started off by telling the story of Arcan Cetin, a man who walked into a department store in Washington state, took out a shotgun, and shot four people, killing three of them. ​​

​​When Cetin finished his killing spree, he put the shotgun on the cosmetics counter and walked out of the store.

This advertorial promoted some kind of service to help people get a concealed weapon license. (In my research, I found out that the no. 1 reason people wanted a concealed weapon license was the fear of mass shootings.) The headline I used, a swipe of a classic Gene Schwartz headline, read:

“Should obtaining a concealed carry permit really be this easy?”

This advertorial must have done ok because the client hired me to write some more copy for him after that.

​​From what I could understand, he had a bunch of offers in the gun and gun training space, and he was running a ton of traffic to them.

I think I did a good job with those followup projects too, but really I never found out. ​​After I delivered those projects, the client didn’t ask me to write any more stuff. ​​When I tried following up with him a few months later — “Hey how’s it going? Do you need any more help with copy?” — I never heard back.

So here’s my tip for you today, in case you’re a copywriter who works with clients:

The early time in a client relationship is often the best time to really find out what a business does, to ask lots of questions, and to set yourself up so you maximize the LTV you can get with this client.

After all, when I first got hired by this guns-and-ammo guy, I got on a call with him, like I do with every other client. He was accommodating and open, and answered any questions I asked.

But here’s the thing. I only asked questions that were relevant to this one project.

Had I thought to find out a lot more about his business or businesses, beyond just the project I was hired for, I would have been in a much better place later, when I wanted him to hire me for more stuff.

The bigger point is this:

In my experience, many business owners think of hiring a copywriter as a one-time, unavoidable expense. Not in terms of money. But in terms of their attention and time.

Once that one time is over, business owners often want to put you out of mind, and get on to next things. You can slip off their radar easily. And if you follow up later by naively saying, “Hey, how’s it going, do you need help with anything?” — well, that just creates more work for them, not less.

So the next time you start work with a new client, become genuinely interested in their business, way beyond what is relevant to your own project.

Then squirrel away that knowledge, and use it later.

​​It might be the most unfairly easy way to get more client work down the line — without ever having to hunt for new clients.

And now, you might like to know I am preparing a guide all about the business side of succeeding as a copywriter. It’s called Copy Zone. If you’d like to find out more about it when it comes out, sign up for my email newsletter.

Horror advertorial workshop — are you a good fit?

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I used to be one of those people.
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Shaking my head and saying, ‘My child wouldn’t dare.’

​It worked for my first daughter. Then my son came along.

​​That’s the beginning of what I call a horror advertorial. This particular horror advertorial is one I wrote a few months ago for a kids supplement company called First Day. It helped them 6x their ad spend, and go from $2k a day to $12k a day.

Today, I’ve got an offer I’d like to run by you.

It might be relevant if 1) you are a copywriter (in-house or freelancer) working with an ecommerce business or 2) if you are a marketing honcho at such a business, and you’ve got a copywriter you work with regularly.

I’ve recently gotten a lot of interest from people who want me to write a horror advertorial for them. Maybe it had something to do with my publicly claiming that these advertorials are the future of front-end funnels for ecommerce businesses.

The trouble is, I’ve got all the client work I can handle for what I can see of the future.

So I had the idea to hold a “Write Your Horror Advertorial” workshop. If you (or your copywriter) are a good fit for this, the offer should be a no-brainer:

1. You get the step-by-step process — the big picture and all the tiny details — I use to research and write up horror advertorials…

2. You get my over-your-shoulder guidance and feedback as you (or your copywriter) put this process in practice, from start to finish…

3. As a result of all this big-picturing and back-feeding, you have a polished horror advertorial by the end, ready to be put in production…

4. And it’s all at a significantly lower price than I would charge to write a horror advertorial myself, if I were still offering that service.

In other words, the offer is something like giving you a fish… and also teaching you to fish… and putting myself out of the lucrative fishing business. It might not be very smart on my end, but you can profit from my lack of foresight.

Most of the details of the “Write Your Horror Advertorial” workshop are still flexible. But the workshop will probably happen in mid-October, and it will span 4-6 training calls spread out over 10-14 days.

I’ll hold the workshop if I can get at least 5 copywriters/businesses to join… and I’ll limit the workshop to at most 10 copywriters/businesses.

At fewest 5, because I want to make it worthwhile for myself.

At most 10, because I want to make it worthwhile for you. Because the point is not just to show you how to write one of these horror advertorials… but to actually guide you as you write a production-ready piece of copy. That will take personal involvement from me, and that’s why I’ll limit the workshop to 10 people at most.

So the odds are, you are not a good fit for this offer. I admire you for reading this far.

But on the odd chance that you are a good fit, write me an email and let me know.

Also let me know who you are (copywriter, marketer, …) and what you’re selling (or what you’re thinking of promoting).

​​I want to make sure it really is a good fit. If it’s not, I’ll tell you so. Because if you join this workshop, I want you to have a healthy chance to reap big returns from a little investment into your advertorial copy.

And because I’m a direct response copywriter, let me give you a real reason to act now:

As this post goes out, I’m reaching out to about 10 contacts at businesses who might be interested in this offer. I’m not sure if any of them will be interested. But there is some possibility that the workshop will fill up, and quick.

So if you are interested, the sooner you write me… the better the chance that we can scare up some new front-end profits for you.

Self-serving horror advertorial funnel

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I’m not a natural when it comes to marketing of business. So I have to methodically and consciously do those things that might be obvious to others. As an example of what I mean, here’s a story that Dan Kennedy told about a coaching client who no longer liked Dan’s advice:

This coaching client followed all of Dan’s marketing advice.

​​As a result, the client became booked months ahead of time… he had a steady pipeline of new work… and he couldn’t handle any more business than he already had.

“In other words,” Dan once said in front of a crowded room, “this guy didn’t have a marketing problem any more. He had a capacity problem. So what do you think I told him to do? That’s right! I told him to raise his prices. Drive away some of his current clients. Create a vacuum. Then he would have a marketing problem again, and that’s one I know how to solve!”

Like I said, Dan’s coaching client didn’t like this advice. Maybe it wasn’t what he was hoping for. Or maybe it seemed self-serving.

At least that’s the lesson I got from it:

If you’re in business, then the advice you dole out should be self-serving. In other words, don’t offer advice on problems that you cannot fix.

Obvious, right?​​

For example, maybe your problem is that you don’t have enough front-end sales. So if you like, let me offer a bit of advice.

Write what I call a horror advertorial. This is a first-person story that looks and reads like a blog post… full of misery, drama, and suspense… which ties into your offer.

Run Facebook ads, whether text ads or video ads, to your horror advertorial.

Link the advertorial to an offer page that gives all features and benefits of your offer.

And that’s it. Do this process reasonably well, and you will get more front-end sales than you can handle.

For example, the main clients I worked with for over two years used this model over and over. At the high point, they were doing 2,000 front-end sales a day, just by cloning this same funnel for different offers.

More recently, I helped a supplement company with a squeaky-clean image implement this same horror advertorial funnel. As a result, they went from $2k a day in profitable ad spend… to $12k a day.

What’s that?

You don’t like this advice? You don’t think it will work for you? It seems self-serving?

I can understand. But it’s all I got.

On the other hand, if more front-end sales is something you lust after… and the horror advertorial funnel sounds like something you could profit from… well, then that’s a problem I know how to solve. As a first step, sign up for my email newsletter. And then we can talk.

Hitchcock sales structure

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The exciting climax of Alfred Hitchcock’s North By Northwest goes like this:

Eva Marie Saint is about to fall off a cliff.

Cary Grant is reaching down to try to keep her from falling.

“I can’t,” she says.

“Yes you can,” he says.

And then one of the evil guy’s henchmen comes and starts to crush Cary’s fingers underfoot. But Cary needs those fingers to hold on to the cliff, and to keep himself and Eva from death below.

Like I said, that’s the climax.

But don’t worry.

It all turns out fine. The police arrive and shoot the evil henchman, who falls off the cliff. The main bad guy is caught. The secret microfilm is safe. And some time later, Cary and Eva, who made it off the cliff and got married in the meantime, head back east by train to start a new life together. The end.

Pretty usual Hollywood, right?

Right. The only unusual thing is the speed:

That entire anti-climactic sequence, from the moment Cary gets his fingers crushed to the train ride home, takes a total of 43 seconds.

​​43 seconds!

For reference, North By Northwest is a movie that lasts 2 hours and 16 minutes.

Of the total, 2 hours, 14 minutes, and 17 seconds goes to building up tension and misery.

The last 43 seconds goes to relieving it.

And yet people watch. And more relevant for us, they buy.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve previously had the task of selling many generic, unremarkable, sometimes suspect physical products. To boot, these products often sold at 3-4 times the price you could find on Amazon.

How can you possibly sell millions of dollars of a commodity at three times the price that anybody can get, just by shopping as they always do?

In my case, the answer was stories. Full of tension and misery. That’s how the bulk of the sales message went.

And when you thought things were bad, an evil henchman came to make it all worse.

The relief of all that tension, in the form of talking about the product, was really an afterthought. Not quite at Hitchcock levels, but still.

So that’s my takeaway for you.

Don’t sell overpriced crap.

​​But even if you sell something great, it probably makes sense to talk less about it than you want to. Instead, focus more of your prospect’s time and attention on that “I can’t/Yes you can” drama.

And in case you want more storytelling and selling ideas:

You might like my email newsletter.

Chance encounters with Blackie

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And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler he broke even
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep
— Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

This morning, I started writing my bread-and-butter piece of copy. It’s an advertorial of a person on a quest.

In this case, the quest is a mom looking for a way to cope with her 8-year-old’s ADHD without drugs. I’ve also used the same quest structure to sell tens of thousands of shoe insoles, silicone kitchen sponges, even fake diamonds.

The quest has 3 acts.

Act 1 is the hero coming face-to-face with the horror of the problem… and then getting sucked deeper and deeper into promised solutions that don’t work or even make things worse. Despair sets in.

Act 2 starts with a chance encounter. And that’s what I want to tell you about today.

In my advertorials, this chance encounter is usually a friend or acquaintance the hero hasn’t met in a long while. The friend casually mentions the key missing ingredient for the hero’s quest.

At first, the hero is skeptical. But the friend isn’t pushy, plus there’s a good reason why the solution could work. So the hero goes home to do more research and— EUREKA!!

If this sounds familiar, it’s because something like it is present in more than 99% of all make money, rags-to-riches, “I was living in a trailer but look at me now” sales letters. The hero in those stories wouldn’t be the success he is today were it not for the trick he learned from a Yoda-like guru who lives on top of a mountain or in a gated retirement community in Florida.

In fact, according to Dan Kennedy, this same trope goes back to at least the middle of the last century. It’s called a “Blackie story.”

Old Blackie was this horse track regular until the day he died. He had a secret for bettin’ on the ponies… and then on his death bed, he revealed the secret to the writer of the sales letter.

What do you think? Corny? Overplayed? Transparent?

Think what you like. The fact is these Blackie stories work.

Because chance encounters in stories are like spike proteins on the surface of corona virus. They jam themselves into your soft defenses so the payload can worm its way in.

And if Blackie dies to boot, like The Gambler in the Kenny Rogers song, it’s even more powerful. Because the secret is now lost… unless you buy the product on sale.

This all reminds me of a run-in I once had with an old door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. He showed me a neat little trick to get your foot in the door, every time, without fail. It works brilliantly online too.

Unfortunately the poor bastard died just a few weeks later. Rest in peace, Jerome.

If you’re curious to learn Jerome’s “foot in the door” copywriting trick… it’s one of the things I share inside my email newsletter. It’s free to subscribe. You might find it entertaining, and you can always unsubscribe if you don’t like it. Here’s where to sign up.

Heartbroken boy turns ecommerce vigilante

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“This dog seat belt was created by a grieving dog owner…
He was heartbroken after his best friend didn’t recover…
‘Rosco was in the back seat when we had a serious car crash’
So he decided to join a star product designer…
To create a revolutionary car safety device for dogs…
This is the story of Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox”

A short while ago, I wrote about a Facebook ad format that’s working right now for selling ecommerce products.

The ad consists of stock footage video clips, overlaid with subtitles that tell a story.

But what story?

Well, for the stuff my client sells… it’s an, ahem, invented founder story. You can see the start of one above.

But here’s the thing. These are not just any founders. These are superhero founders. I mean that seriously.

For example, the ad above is channeling Batman — somebody with a crushing personal tragedy… delivering vigilante justice. (The real ad didn’t use Bruce Wayne as the name.)

I’ve also seen other advertisers channel:

1) Iron Man (“This Japanese billionaire marshaled his immense engineering skill and industrial resources to create a really comfortable pillow”)

2) Spider-Man (“This precocious-yet-typical teenager set out to save the world by inventing a silicone kitchen sponge”)

3) The Hulk (“This mild-mannered but brilliant scientist was transformed by an explosion and now MUST SMASH FREEZER BURN”)

My point is twofold:

First, if you’re selling stuff on Facebook, these superhero video ads are worth a try.

Second, whatever copy you’re writing (or having others write), it is always worth going back to story archetypes. ​​If a story template has proven itself decade after decade, century after century, odds are good you can use it to sell more dog seat belt – or whatever your vigilante justice leads you to sell.

Want more exciting coming book storylines for your marketing? You might like my daily email newsletter. Click here to subscribe.

Super germ ideas for profitable ad formats

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3 years ago, an astronaut on the International Space Station bounced his way outside of the calm and protected interior so he could set up a little experiment in open space.

He left some bacteria on the outside of the station, in the cold, in the dark, only occasionally to be pummeled by murderous space radiation.

It turns out these resilient bacteria survived. I bring this up for two reason:

1) Scientists say this means life COULD have come from somewhere else than Earth, which would certainly explain how the platypus got its beak, and

2) Because I learned about this super bacteria from a stock footage, subtitled video on the BBC site today.

That was interesting to me. I realized this is where the format came from for the Facebook ads I’ve been writing a lot of.

These Facebook ads look and feel the same as the BBC videos. They are made of stock footage, with overlaid subtitles that tell a story. Except the story is not about space-riding bacteria, but about bamboo kitchen towels or silicone freezer bags.

And here’s why this might be relevant to you:

These stock footage video ads are doing very well on Facebook right now. They are outperforming other ad formats my clients are trying (and these guys do a lot of trying and testing).

So if you do any Facebook advertising, it might be worthwhile going on the BBC site and checking out some of these science videos to see what makes them tick, and how you can mimic the same.

And there’s a deeper message I want to leave you with:

If an editorial format is working for a massive site like the BBC, it’s a good idea to try to adapt it into an ad.

Regular articles and these stock footage videos are not the only formats that work for news sites. I can think of other ways that places like CNBC and CNN deliver content, which might be relevant for Facebook advertisers.

The point being, it makes sense to pay attention to your own news consumption. You might find the germ of an idea. That idea can start to spread and multiply… until it forms a colony of money-making ads for your business.

For more biologically inspired marketing ideas, you might like my daily email newsletter. In case you’re interested, put on your space suit, unlock the hatch door, and sign up here.