Motivation

How to humiliate competing marketers and join the elite circle of the world’s most respected copywriters

by

Today, I want to share a few really good headlines with you:

How Does An Out-Of-Shape 55-Year-Old Golfer, Crippled By Arthritis And 71 Lbs. Overweight, Still Consistently Humiliate PGA Pros In Head-To-Head Matches By Hitting Every Tee Shot Further And Straighter Down The Fairway?

The Astonishing Sex Secrets Of the Most Satisfied… Most Knowledgeable… And Most Respected Lovers In The World!

“The Naked Girls All Laughed Behind The Little Pudgy Guy’s Back… Until He Got Into A Knife Fight With Three Enormous Bad-Ass Bikers…”

All three of these headlines were written by John Carlton. If you ask me, all three have something important in common beyond just being written by John.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

For the past few days, I’ve been telling you about the six characteristics of a positive attitude.

You’re probably ready and eager to wrap up this sermonizing series. I know I am. Bear with me. There are just two more to go.

Today’s characteristic might sound mysterious, even misleading. But it’s very important, both for a positive attitude and for copywriting. ​​It’s simply this:

Positive attitude characteristic #5: Inner Motivation

Inner motivation? What exactly does that mean? From the book NLP, where I first came across these six characteristics:

“These were not ‘Hollywood’ movie or ‘new age’ images of a general desire to win, or be the best, or avoid making a fool of oneself. These athletes had personal, specific, and compelling visions of desirable goals or unpleasant consequences.”

Personal, specific, and compelling visions. Notice it doesn’t say that there’s anything particularly “healthy” about this inner motivation stuff.

And that’s what I think is going on in those winning John Carlton headlines above.

The visions John paints in the prospect’s mind are not about the actual, “healthy” benefit of the product. The satisfaction of playing better golf… or more enjoyable sex… or the practical value of self-defense.

Instead, the visions John paints are squarely about impressing or even humiliating others.

That kind of motivation works very well in sales copy…

And ugly as it might sound, it can also work in your personal life.

Meaning, if you want a more positive attitude, then create a clear and convincing picture in your mind. And if that picture happens to be tainted with current envy, shame, and bitterness… well, that’s okay.

​​It might even be optimal.

That’s not to say that you should always keep one eye on others as you try to achieve your goals.

But I’m getting ahead of myself for the second time today. In fact, I’m stepping onto the toes of tomorrow’s final email in this series.

So let me stop myself here. In case you want to read the last email in this series right as it comes out, then sign up for my daily email newsletter.

I was in Dan Ferrari’s coaching group, so read this email

by

I have a good friend visiting me now. We met many years ago, in college, at the the “clothing-optional” LSD experiment known as the University of California at Santa Cruz.

A few days ago, my friend and I were discussing how UCSC has gained a lot of status since we graduated. That’s thanks to its location right next to Silicon Valley, and the huge amount of tech money that the school has been getting as a result.

This isn’t the only lucky and appreciating investment I’ve made in education.

Another school I went to has since relocated to a richer city. As a result, my diploma became more prestigious and valuable without me doing anything.

And of course, there’s the Dan Ferrari coaching group I was in a few years ago.

Starting in the summer of 2019, I was in Dan’s coaching group for a little over six months.

At the time, Dan was already a super successful copywriter, with a big string of controls for Agora Financial and for The Motley Fool.

But somehow, Dan’s fame has increased significantly since.

​​His name has become much more known in industry.

​​He even appeared as no. 1 in some arbitrary listing of the world’s best active DR copywriters.

​​And I’ve personally noticed people treat me with growing deference whenever I mention I was in Dan’s coaching group — they assume I must have learned some of Dan’s black magic.

So what explains Dan’s growth in status over the past few years?

Some part of it is just time and compounding — Dan has just stuck around and kept working and getting better. He’s also had new wins in the years since. I also have my own pet theory why Dan’s prestige has risen so high over past few years, but that’s another topic, for another time.

For today, I just want to share something that Dan once wrote in one of his once-every-79-years, Halley’s Comet emails:

“Your abilities as a marketer are only capped by how hungry you are to leave a mark.”

What I take from that is the value of high standards, both for ends and means.

​​In other words, if you want A-list skills, and maybe even the results that come with those skills, then it’s good to set high standards for what you find acceptable.

Over the past few days, I’ve been telling you about six different characteristics that make for a positive attitude. So far, I’ve covered 3. The fourth I want to tell you about is exactly this, high standards.

People who develop high standards — for example, athletes recovering from injury, refusing to accept anything but complete recovery, where they can compete and win again — are more positive about the journey, and are more likely to reach the destination than those who are willing to settle for 50%, 30%, or 10% of what’s possible.

Perhaps that makes immediate sense to you.

Or perhaps you feel a bit of resistance to this idea. Perhaps, like me, you think there is value in having modest standards, ones you are sure to achieve.

Well, if that’s what you’re thinking, then I can tell you we still have two more characteristics of positive mindset remaining. And both of those will be particularly relevant to you in case the idea of shooting for the moon sounds like you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

In case you’re interested in reading that when I write it, you can sign up for my daily email newsletter here.

“I’ve made a huge mistake”

by

A little over two months ago, I arrived to Barcelona, Spain, with the goal of finding an apartment to live in long term. I’ve written about that before.

What I haven’t written about was that the very first day of arriving to Barcelona, I decided I had made a huge mistake. About everything.

My Airbnb, where I was supposed to stay in for the two weeks of the apartment search, was depressing and uncomfortable.

In spite of the dozens of inquiries I had sent to real estate agents, I was getting practically no response.

The one viewing I had managed to schedule was canceled two hours before it was supposed to happen.

That first day, walking around the city. I looked at the thousands of unfamiliar faces walking past me, all speaking languages I didn’t understand. And I grew disgusted, both with the city and myself.

“Even if — and that’s a huge if — I somehow manage to find a decent place to live,” I said to myself, “what am I possibly going to do here? I don’t speak the language. I don’t know anybody. I have no conceivable reason to be here.”

Barcelona might be a beautiful place to visit, I decided. But as a town to live in? Absolutely not. At least for me.

I had no intention of staying and continuing my apartment search. So I bought a ticket to fly out of town for the very next day. Why linger?

​​At the same time, leaving felt like a defeat and a proof of failure. I felt awful in every way.

Over the past couple days, I’ve been telling you about the six characteristics of a positive attitude. Today it’s time for the third characteristic:

“Chunking-down goals”

My story above illustrates what happens when you don’t chunk down your goals. When you don’t focus on the next step of the journey you have to take, and instead allow yourself to get buried by the immensity of what’s ahead.

When I arrived to Barcelona, I thought about the unpleasant and complicated process of finding an apartment. But not only that.

​​I also thought about need to learn a new language… to create a new social circle… and maybe, even something bigger and more long-term than that.

That amount of stuff to do is overwhelming. Particularly when your inquiries are getting no response… when the place you are in is depressing or uncomfortable… and when and the doors of an opportunity shut before you have a chance to run through them.

So what to do?

In my case, I called some family, I talked to some friends. They pointed out the obvious. That I was keeping too much in my head. That I should focus on just one thing — finding an apartment — for the next two weeks. That I should keep everything else out of mind until that first step is done.

And that’s what I did. It was a success.

Like I’ve written before, I managed to find a beautiful apartment in spite of the unpromising odds.

Then I started working on the language issue. In time, I might even meet some people here. And until that happens, I’ve invited friends to visit and stay with me.

The bigger point I want to make is that all this positive attitude stuff might sound obvious or even trivial.

And it is — when things are going well.

But in the press of life, it’s easy to forget how to be positive, and to get into a different mental state. To get overwhelmed, dark, or even negative.

During those times, remembering these few “obvious” characteristics of a positive attitude can tell you where you went wrong. And more importantly, it can tell you what to do to get on a better track.

That’s why I’m telling you about this positive attitude stuff. So maybe you remember it in moments of crisis. So maybe I myself remember it when I make my next huge mistake.

Of course, you need all six characteristics for a positive attitude to be strong and stable.

​​I’ve told you three characteristics so far. I’ll wrap it up over the coming days. In case you want to read that as it comes out, sign up to my daily newsletter here.

A curious Hollywood fact before I get on my positivity pulpit

by

I recently watched Steven Spielberg’s Jaws for the first time ever. And while reading a bit of background on the making of the film, I found out a curious Hollywood fact:

Steven Spielberg decided to skip the shooting of the final scene of Jaws.

The shooting of the entire film was long, difficult, and over-budget. Spielberg thought the crew was disgusted at his inexperience. He expected they would toss him in the water once the final scene’s shooting was complete.

So he just played hooky.

This apparently became a tradition. With all the movies Spielberg has made since, he has never been present for the shooting of the final scene.

And though it might not be obvious, there’s significance in that.

Yesterday, I started to tell you about the six characteristics of a positive attitude.

What I didn’t realize is that handing out unsolicited advice on how to be a better person is sure to sound moralizing or even dumb. Live laugh love, that kind of thing.

That’s why I told you the Spielberg factoid above. It’s interesting because it’s so unusual, particularly for Spielberg.

Spielberg got going with filmmaking as a kid. He shot films with his 8mm camera and his childhood friends as actors. In those days, he learned to do everything himself. Writing the scripts. Building the sets. Operating the camera.

Later, Spielberg got to Hollywood. He started working as a professional director. And he was dismayed that he had to rely on other people. That’s why his skipping the final scene is so significant.

And now let me clamber up on my positivity pulpit.
​​
You might think I’m about to tell you that it’s important to delegate work.

Quite the opposite. At least, when it comes to having a positive mental attitude.

Because the second characteristic of a positive attitude is personal involvement.

You don’t have to be like Steven Spielberg. You don’t have to sew the costumes and turn the klieg lights and feed the film into the camera, all by yourself.

But in order to feel hope or even certainty that you will succeed… and in order to have the drive to actually persevere when the shoot turns long, difficult, and over-budget… you need to be personally involved.

In other words, you have to stop waiting for others to others to achieve your goals or solve your problems for you. This is true even when there is an entire crew of professionals, ready to do the work for you.

For example, yesterday I mentioned the book NLP. It’s where I found these six characteristics of a positive mindset.

According to the book, the six characteristics were distilled from athletes recovering from injury.

Some athletes passively relied on doctors, nurses, and physical therapists. These athletes never achieved a positive attitude about their recovery. As a result, they often didn’t recover fully.

On the other hand, there were athletes who actively did their exercises. Who didn’t just lie there, waiting to be stretched and stimulated by doctors. Who took an active role in the design of their recovery program.

They developed a much more positive attitude. And their results tended to be much better.

So there you go. If you want to be more positive and more likely to achieve your goals, get personally involved.

Along with the other five characteristics in the NLP book. I wrote about one of those already. I’ll write about the other ones in coming days. If you want to read that as it comes out, you might like to get personally involved by signing up to my email newsletter here.

The paradox of the long- and short-term view of success

by

A couple months ago, former UFC featherweight champ Max Holloway was preparing for a super important fight. Perhaps the most important fight of his career.

Max’s manager, Christopher Daggett, had the following to say about this preparation:

===

“Everything with Max — whether it’s finances, his family, brand, partnerships, charity, his health — all of these are long-term things. But when it comes to the fight game, everything is short-term. We’re looking three feet ahead and that’s it. So, to that end, it always feels like everything is at stake. We’re putting everything on the table. At the same time, we know that no matter what, two weeks from now, Max is still Max. That sounds like a contradiction. But really, from a short term, everything is at stake, but everything will be fine two weeks from now and we understand that.”

===

The above quote may sound paradoxical, so to recap the essential:

In one instant, Max and his team focus on just the next step (three feet ahead, everything is at stake).

​​In the next instant, they focus on the long-term destination (no matter what happens, everything will be fine, Max is still Max).

​​And they do this over and over.

I bring up this quote to invite you to look at both long term and short term of this email.

In the short term, I want to tell you that:

Looking at your goals both from 3 feet away… and also from 30,000 miles away… is one of the 6 characteristics shared by people who have a positive mental attitude. At least around a specific goal or activity.

Perhaps you think “positive mental attitude” is such a worn-out phrase. Perhaps you are surprised I’m even writing about it.

I’m doing so because read I about positive mental attitude a while back in a book I liked a lot and found very valuable.

But more importantly, I’m doing it because well-worn doesn’t mean well-near-worthless.

​I hope you can see that. And I hope you don’t just jump on every bandwagon passing through town, trying to lure you to the new success and self-help circus that just pitched its tent down at the old horse track.

The fact is, the 6 characteristics of a positive mental attitude have helped athletes recover from serious injuries… star Wall Street traders win at the stock market… and have probably responsible, consciously or unconsciously, for much of the success in this world.

For example, once I found out about these 6 characteristics, I recognized them from my own life. I wasn’t always aware of them. And I didn’t always have them. But when I achieved the things I have achieved in my life, these characteristics were there, whether I knew it or not.

So that’s the short term. ​​T​oday’s email. Where I told you about you one of these characteristics, about the short-term and long-term views to your goals.

As for the the long term, meaning next few days, I will tell you the remaining 5 of 6 characteristics. In case you’d like to read about those characteristics as I write about them, you can sign up for my email newsletter here.

The destructive power of analogy

by

Today I’d like to start by sharing an inspirational quote:

“If you feel you’re under-motivated, consider this: the word ‘motivation’ is used only by people who say they don’t have it. People who are ‘motivated’ rarely use such a term to describe themselves. They just get on with the task at hand. ‘Lack of motivation’ is an excuse: it’s giving a name to not just getting the job done.”

I read that in Derren Brown’s book, Tricks of the Mind. Brown seems like somebody I might have become in another life, had I only craved attention instead of shying away from it. And so when I read Brown’s quote, I nodded along and said, “Hmm that’s interesting. Maybe that’s even profound. Hey maybe there’s hope for me!”

Well, it wasn’t really me saying that. It was the little angel who usually sits upon my right shoulder.

“Psst, you there,” said the little devil who usually sits upon my left shoulder. “You wanna go smoke some cigars and drink some hooch? Or do you wanna hear why that D. Brown quote is bunk?”

“Err no,” I said. “This quote is inspiring. Please don’t ruin it for me. I’d like to believe it. Plus it makes sense. After all, if motivated people don’t know the feeling of being motivated, clearly it’s not a real thing.”

“Well let me ask you this,” said the little devil. “Do you know any 9-year-old kids?”

“No.”

“Well pretend like you do. Or just think back to when you were 9. Do you ever remember waking up in the morning after a blessed 10 hours of deep sleep… jumping out of bed… and with a stretch and a big smile on your face, saying, ‘Boy I feel so healthy today!'”

“Oh no…”

“Yeah, that’s right. Kids don’t talk like that, at least not the vast majority, the ones who have been perfectly healthy their whole life. But does that mean that there is no such thing as health? That you can’t be in good health or in bad health? Or by extension, that there’s no such thing as motivation and lack of m—”

“Get thee behind me Satan!” I yelled. But my mood was already spoiled and the quote above was ruined for me.

Maybe I managed to ruin it for you as well. If so, it was all for a good cause. I just wanted to illustrate the destructive power of analogy.

Fact is, Brown might really be right. There might not be any such thing as motivation.

But the fact he tried to prove it in a specific way (“motivated people never use the word”) was easy to spoil with my analogy to kids and health. And maybe, just maybe, your brain made the same leap after that which my brain did.

“Well, health is real… and if health and motivation are alike in this one way… then motivation must be real.”

​​But that’s not proven anywhere.

Anyways, now I’m getting into ugly logic which is really not what persuasion or this email are about.

I just want to point out that, if you want to persuade somebody of something, or if you want to dissuade somebody of something, then the most subtle and often the most persuasive thing you can do is to take two pushpins and a piece of string.

​​Stick one pushpin into an apple. Stick the other into an orange. Tie the string between the pushpins. Make it tight.

And then hold up your creation to the world and say, “Draw your own conclusions! But to me, these two look fundamentally the same! Just look at the string that connects them!”

Anyways, D. Brown does not talk much about analogies in his Tricks of the Mind. That’s his only omission. Because this book really has everything you need to persuade and influence — and from somebody who is both a serious student and a serious practitioner of all this voodoo.

In fact, the last time I mentioned this book in one of my emails, a successful but low-key marketer wrote in to tell me:

John!

Maybe you didn’t get the memo! You can’t tell people about Derren Brown’s “Tricks of the Mind”.

It’s against the rules.

As a friend of mine said, “That’s too much in one book. Don’t give the chimps tools.”

LOL

Well, maybe my mysterious reader is right. So don’t buy a copy of Derren Brown’s book. But if you do want occasional chimp-safe tools from that book, or from other valuable persuasion and influence sources, then you might like my daily newsletter.

I was doing “massive action” all wrong

by

I just spent an hour sending out about a dozen emails to random people on random topics.

Some of them were personal.

Some were to connect those who might get value out of knowing each other.

Some had to do with my own little publishing business, of which you are reading the marketing right now.

The total time to send all those emails was under an hour. The total work, in terms of effort and brainpower, was nothing.

I don’t know what’s gonna come out of all those emails.

But I bet that out of those 12 emails, at least one big and positive thing will emerge that’s not anywhere near to the surface today. Perhaps it will be some totally new and fantastical beast, with bat wings, a cat tail, and maybe a donkey head… ready to entertain me, or make me some money, or maybe open up doors I don’t even know exist right now.

All this brought to mind something I overheard once during the Q&A part of a Dan Kennedy seminar. Somebody in the audience mentioned the “principle of massive action.”

I’ve known about “massive action” for a long while.

In fact, at different times in my life, I’ve been a devotee to the idea. But I always took it to mean something in a kind of Grant Cardonish sense – work harder than you’re working now, 10x harder, and quit complaining.

But this person in Dan Kennedy’s audience gave a different meaning to massive action. One that seems to exist within the Dan Kennedy galaxy.

Yes, “massive action” still involves taking action, and maybe even doing work.

But the key thing, according to what I read from Dan Kennedy, is to take action in a bunch of different dimensions.

Think up 12 different ways to solve a problem. And get going on all of them, all at once.

“Err Bejako,” I hear you say, “are you telling me to grind 12 times harder? How is this an improvement over Grant Cardone’s 10x fluff?”

Nope. Grinding is not required.

Of course, some of those 12 possible solutions might be hard to move forward.

But some may be easy.

Some may require you to do real work. Many won’t.

Some might require sitting and thinking, or writing and editing. Others might just require a quick email to someone you know.

You never know which one approach will end up being the one to solve your problem. And if my experience is any guide, it usually won’t be the most difficult and time-consuming one, the one that requires Grant Cardonish grinding. Plus, there’s seems to be some multiplicative magic when you take different approaches to solve a problem, beyond simple addition.

Anyways, I’m not sure if this helps you in any way.

But if you want more ideas like this, ideas I’ve pilfered from people like Dan Kennedy, applied, and benefited from, then sign up for my daily email newsletter.

The one piece of influential writing which molded me above all others

by

The one piece of influential writing which molded me above all others – above all the Ben Settle emails, all the Dan Kennedy books, all the Dan Lok Facebook ads — is an old issue of the Gary Halbert newsletter, titled:

The Difference Between Winners and Losers.

I read this issue in the first few weeks after I discovered copywriting, years before I actually became a freelance copywriter.

And I’ll make a dramatic claim:

I don’t know if I would have ever started as a copywriter without this Winners/Losers issue. Without the basic idea I got from it.

One thing I know for sure is that whenever I come back to the core idea from this Winners/Losers issue, big things, transformative things, often happen.

Maybe I’ve made you curious. So here’s the gist, in Gary’s own words:

Non-alcoholics can never truly understand alcoholism. Straight people can never understand what it is to be gay. Gays can’t hope to thoroughly comprehend what it is to be straight. And…

Spectators Can Never Understand
What It Is To Be A Player!

In that newsletter, Gary gave a quick, cheap, and easy exercise that anyone could do to 1000x their chances of becoming rich. It just involved putting out a classified ad and fielding all the calls that would come in.

​​Just follow the simple instructions, and ultimate success is 1000x more likely.

“But most of you are not going to follow these simple instructions,” Gary said. “I know that already from past experience.”

“I won’t be like those people,” I told Gary, who was already dead. “I will do what you tell me, and I will become a success!”

Of course, as you can probably guess, I never did follow Gary’s instructions and I never did put out the classified ad. But the idea, along with a bit of shame, stuck with me.

And that’s how I achieved what I have achieved. Because on occasion, I remember Gary’s Difference Between Winners and Losers.

And rather than saying, “Yeah that’s good advice” or “Pff I’ve heard that before,” I shut up for a minute and actually follow the step-by-step instructions that some smart and successful person has laid out for me.

Because like Gary said, knowing something intellectually is not good enough. You have to do it, apply it, experience it yourself to have a chance of becoming a player.

Perhaps keep that in mind, as I switch to an almost entirely unrelated topic:

My Copy Riddles program is now open for enrollment, until this Sunday at 12 midnight PST.

“Pff I know all about that,” I hear you say. “You haven’t stopped talking about your Copy Riddles program for a century and a half.”

Well, maybe this is the moment when you finally hear me. For two reasons:

First, because Copy Riddles was actually born when I finally followed another bit of Gary’s step-by-step advice. This was advice I had known intellectually for years, but that I had never put into practice. And when I finally did put it into practice, big, transformative things happened.

And second:

B​ecause Copy Riddles is built around the idea that you gotta experience things yourself.

Spectators can never understand what it is to be a player… and copy readers can never understand what it is to be a copywriter.

​​That’s why I built and organized Copy Riddles as a series of practical exercises, simple but powerful, that you do every day to implant copywriting skills into your head — and to actually get the experience of creating effective copy.

But maybe that’s all a little vague for you.

Fortunately, I have written up a quite extensive and exclusive report, with all the details of how Copy Riddles works. In case you’re interested:

https://copyriddles.com/

It was all my fault, and always has been

by

A few nights ago, I was lying in my plush bed, smoking a cigar and tossing grapes into my mouth one by one.

Life was good.

I had just sent out my email about the prestigious Dig.This.Zoom event. It was only a matter of time now.

A bit of movement in the corner of my bedroom caught my eye. It was my laptop, open to my Gmail inbox. A new email had arrived. I could just make out the subject line:

“Your form, ‘John Bejakovic consult request’, has a new response”

“Sooner than I expected,” I smirked, “but I’m not surprised.”

In that email about the Dig.This.Zoom event, I had successfully associated myself with heavyweight marketers Aaron Winter and Dan Ferrari. I ended that email with my consulting offer.

Clearly, I thought, some smart business owner, who owns a profitable niche business I would never have even dreamed about, and who reads my daily newsletter religiously, realized he could make much more money with my advice and guidance.

That business owner is now reaching out to offer to pay me in advance… if only he can get a bit of time on my calendar, and the opportunity to have my highly trained eyes locked critically on his email funnels, until I find small changes that can lead to big improvements.

I slid out of bed lazily and made my way to my laptop.

I imagined myself a few months down the line, getting an email from said business owner. The email would say:

“John I was skeptical when we first did the consult. But we made the changes you suggested. And now we’re making 11x what we were before from the same email funnel. I’m over the moon! I’m sure you don’t need yet another glowing testimonial. But if you ever want to use this publicly to let the world know how incredible you are, please go ahead. It would be an honor for me.”

“Well okay, if it would be an honor for you,” I said to my empty bedroom as I clicked the Google Forms link. “Let’s see who the lucky business owner is today. I wonder what mysterious and surprising line of work he is in.”

My ugly Google form opened up. My mouth hung open. My face sank.

There it was. My newest consulting request. The successful business owner from that surprising new niche I had been fantasizing about. The request read, in its entirety,

“I am a Nigerian direct response copywriter. I want to learn from you.”

I wasn’t sure what bothered me more. The fact that my fantasy had been popped, and that this was the polar opposite of the ideal consulting lead I was dreaming about. Or perhaps it was just the utter lack of effort involved in this “consulting request.”

“Learn from me? Learn what? How to write self-deprecating emails like this one? How to make ugly Google Forms? How to approach people in a way that shows you are serious about working with them and respectful of their time?”

I wasn’t sure how I could possibly respond to this request in a sensible way that didn’t waste more of my time. And then I realized I should just do it in a daily email to my list.

I also remembered a bit of philosophy I’ve long held near to my heart:

It’s always your fault.

That might not sound like the healthiest way to go through life. But it’s served me well.

If things ever go in the completely wrong direction, away from where I want to be, then like David Byrne, I always ask myself, “Well, how did I get here?”

Because pianos don’t just fall out of the sky and land on your head. You have to walk under them first, as they are hanging by a fraying rope. You have to stand around, spinning aimlessly from side to side, while that rope gets more and more frayed. And you have to make sure you never look up until finally the rope snaps.

So dear Nigerian direct response copywriter, if you are reading, don’t feel like I am picking on you.

It was my fault for not being sufficiently clear who my consulting offer was for, and what it was about.

If you’d like to learn from me — I assume how to write copy, but who knows — then my suggestion would be to wait another week.

That’s when I will reopen my Copy Riddles program.

​​Copy Riddles is a way to learn copywriting from me, in a very compact and affordable package. Much more affordable than the thousands or tens of thousands of dollars it would take if you want to get the equivalent knowledge from me in a series of one-on-one consults.

But perhaps you are not that Nigerian direct response copywriter looking to learn from me.

And perhaps now you have a clearer idea of my consulting offer is about. And perhaps you even think it might be smart for you, and for your business.

​​If so, fill out the ugly Google Forms form below. No need to go overboard. But give me more detail about you and your business than just saying, “I want to learn from you.”

https://bejakovic.com/consulting

Pretty girl alone in a cafe – where can I go from here?

by

Just a few minutes ago, I was walking down the street, my internal radar urgently scanning for a place to sit down and get a coffee, when I saw her:

A pretty girl, sitting by herself, at a shady cafe, and pulling out a laptop.

Now in the megalopolis of Zagreb, Croatia, where I am for the next few days, the laptop in a cafe is a good tell that the girl is not a local, but is a foreigner.

And in my experience, foreign girls, sitting by themselves at a cafe in a foreign land, are sometimes ready to talk and laugh.

So I asked myself, why don’t I marry the necessary (coffee) and the pleasant (talking to this girl)?

And I sat down at the cafe, at a table right next to the girl, but at a nonconfrontationally diagonal angle.

On closer inspection, everything about the girl confirmed she was not a local. A nose ring. A tattoo of a feather on the outside of her wrist. A poofy floral-print shirt and jean shorts.

I started running through a few possible ways to open up a conversation.

The waitress came to take my order. I ordered, nonchalantly looked at the girl again, and got back to my scheming.

Another waiter came, and brought out the girl’s order, a croissant and a coffee. “Oh thank you,” the girl said in English, a big smile on her face.

My scheming intensified. I looked at her laptop, which had an interesting marble-print case.

“Maybe I could ask her about that,” I said to myself. “But first let me go to the bathroom.” I got up, went, came back.

In spite of my secret hopes, the girl was still there. She shifted in her seat and looked at me inquiringly.

I sat back down. A feeling of dread started to settle over me.

My mind ran over familiar gambits for starting a conversation with a girl. Direct compliment? Grandfatherly inquiry about her laptop case? An assumption about where she’s from? “Are you from Boston? You sound like you’re from Boston.”

But hold on. Let me switch gears for a second.

A few days ago, I got a question/comment from a reader. She was encouraging me to write about mindset, specifically the mindset it takes to take action, when action is really the only thing missing for almost certain success.

I don’t know too much about mindset. But I find it a mysterious thing.

Why is it that among two people, equally capable and filled with desire, one will take action and the other won’t?

Equally mysteriously, why will a person take action in one situation in life, but be blocked by some unseen force in another situation?

For example, I have started conversations with literally thousands of strange, unfamiliar, but attractive girls in my life.

And not only started conversations.

​​I’ve had fun interactions with many of these girls, and found many of them ready to talk and laugh. In other words, I have plenty of reference experiences telling me this can be an enjoyable affair for all parties involved.

Any yet, as I’m sure you can guess, I didn’t ask the girl today if she is from Boston. I didn’t make any connoisseur-like comment about her laptop case. And I didn’t tell her she looks very nice.

Instead, I sat there for a few minutes more, my dead, shark-like eyes staring off into empty space… I finished my coffee… I paid, I got up and I left.

So I don’t know too much about mindset. But I do know something about process. And I can tell you one procedural thing I’ve figured out, which helps me take action and get closer to success:

And that’s to never chew myself out.

This might sound counterintuitive. It goes against all the sports hero movies we’ve seen for decades, where a bitter defeat leads to a lot of agonized soul searching, and a new, desperate determination to come back and win, no matter what it takes.

And maybe that really is what it takes for you. But as for me:

I’ve noticed that chewing myself out never does me any good. Either before the big moment. Or after.

So after I got up from that cafe, after a brief moment of irritation with myself, I shrugged my shoulders.

Because I have a process of getting myself back in the groove of talking to girls. It’s a bunch of personal strategies I’ve worked out over years of similar experience, by channeling the energy I would have spent on chewing myself out… into thinking about what I could do differently the next time.

I’ll put that process into action​​ soon. Maybe as soon as I finish writing up this email.

I’m not sure if this is relevant to you in any way.

But if you find yourself blocked by mysterious forces from taking action, in areas of your business or your personal life… and what’s more, if you find yourself agonizing over that fact… then it might be worth remembering to shrug your shoulders, and to transfer your energy from chewing yourself out to something more productive.

Anyways, that’s my free tip for today.

My almost-as-free offer for today is to sign up for my email newsletter. It’s usually about copywriting and direct marketing. With occasional diversions into personal and inspirational topics, like today. If you’d like to sign up, click here and fill out the form.