Direct Marketing

Computing the average cost of trash

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Here’s a quick quiz for you.

Imagine you go to a cafe and you see two options on the menu:

Option A is a cup of coffee. Option B is the same cup of coffee plus a muffin. Except the muffin comes with a clear disclaimer:

“This muffin is either fresh or left over from yesterday”

Now here’s the quiz question:

Let’s say that both option A and option B cost somewhere between $2 and $6. How much do you think option A — coffee only — costs…

And how would you rate the cost of option B — coffee and a possibly fresh, possibly stale muffin?

Think about it for a second.

And while you think, I want to make it clear this isn’t just a fanciful, hypothetical question.

In fact, it represents a very common situation in online marketing, where people regularly have a standard offer, like an ebook (that’s the coffee in the example above)…

And then they tack on a free bonus, like a second, less valuable ebook (that’s the muffin).

The thinking goes, if people want what you’re selling, they will only want it more in case you give them anything as a free bonus as well. Right?

To answer that, let’s go back to the quiz above. What value did you put on the two options?

Perhaps you said the coffee alone was $4…

And the coffee plus muffin was $4.25.

Even if those aren’t the exact numbers, odds are, you didn’t think option B could be worth less than option A. It just wouldn’t be logical.

And you’re right. Only one problem, though. People are not logical.

We know this because psychologists have run an experiment very similar to the scenario above.

To start, they presented both options A and B as above.

In this case, people reliably evaluated option B — coffee + questionable muffin — as being slightly more valuable than the coffee alone.

But here’s the twist.

If people were shown only one of the options and asked to evaluate how valuable it is…

Then they would value coffee alone at, say, $4…

But if they were shown the coffee + questionable muffin, they would value it at something like $3.25.

Did you catch that?

The coffee + muffin, evaluated in isolation, is perceived as less valuable than the coffee alone.

The issue, of course, is that the muffin could be trash left over from yesterday. And nobody wants to pay for trash.

This isn’t really logical — because the trash shouldn’t take away from the solid core offer.

But like I said, people aren’t logical. They don’t add up the value (so say the psychologists) of the perfectly good coffee with the possibly crappy muffin.

Instead, they seem to average out the value of the good coffee and the suspect muffin — making the total offer worth less than the coffee alone.

I think the message is clear if you’re considering tacking on bonuses to your core offer.

Either make your muffins fresh, or don’t add them in and spoil the coffee.

And if you want more freshly roasted marketing ideas that are not trash, you might like the following:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

How to be courteous to trolls

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There’s a scene in The Office where Dwight Schrute does battle with a sentient computer.

Dwight and the sentient computer (actually a couple of his coworkers in disguise) are competing to see who can sell more paper by the end of the day.

At one point, Dwight loses his cool. He tells the computer to “011 1111 011 011” (which apparently spells the letters “F” and “O” in ASCII).

The sentient computer doesn’t flinch, however.

Instead, it replies to Dwight:

“While you were typing that, I’ve searched every database in existence and learned every fact about everything. And mastered the violin. And sold more paper!”

I got a chance to apply a similar kind of response today for an ad I’m running on Facebook.

This ad is promoting a free ebook titled The Little Black Book of Essential Oil Scams. One of the sections in this ebook covers the two big MLM essential oil companies, doTerra and Young Living, which have a lot of ardent supporters.

One such supporter commented on my ad:

“You are showing your own ignorance! You promote oils and don’t know the difference between what’s pure and what’s not, and yet try to bash other companies. You couldn’t pay me to waste my time on your book!”

Until recently, I’ve ignored trolls like this.

But then I thought to myself, why be so lazy?

I should take the advice of expert troll-tamer Ben Settle, and try to profit from this.

So I decided to ignore what the troll said, misconstrue it as something positive, and then self-promote. I wrote in response:

“No need to pay for this book, it’s free. And I agree that essential oil quality is important. That’s why I write about several best-selling companies that have been shown to sell adulterated oils.”

Well, the troll didn’t like being misunderstood.

She wrote more angry comments. But I had no intention of engaging with her further. I think one serving of “misconstrue then self-promote” is all each troll is entitled to.

So what’s the point?

I believe it’s possible to deal with trolls with courtesy, as long as you misconstrue or ignore what they have to say.

And then, you can turn it to your advantage and self-promote.

It’s much like the scene from The Office above.

Don’t engage with trolls directly. And take the attitude that you’re winning no matter what.

If you do this, you will find opportunities for subtle self-promotion everywhere.

Speaking of self-promotion: If you read all the way to the end of this post, you might like my upcoming book on email marketing. You can sign up to get a free copy when it’s out by going to the following page:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

I screwed up yesterday

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Yesterday, I was sending out an email to my aromatherapy list when the Internet died.

Normally, I write my daily email in a text editor.

I then paste it into ActiveCampaign, tweak the formatting, and then click “Send.”

Yesterday, however, between the pasting and the clicking, the Internet died.

I restarted the router, finished sending out the email (so I thought), and got on with my merry day.

It was only later I realized I’d screwed up. Because the Internet had died at the proper moment, the email body didn’t get saved in ActiveCampaign.

So I managed to send out an email with a tantalizing subject line, “This essential oil treatment only works for 25% of people”…

… But the body of the email talked about something entirely unrelated (it was the template copy, from an email I had written two years ago).

​Most importantly, the email wasn’t promoting what I wanted
it to promote (Essential Oil Quick Start Guide, my book on aromatherapy).

Shamezul.

What to do?

Well, I simply waited. And then today, I sent out another email saying, “I screwed up yesterday.”

I explained what had happened.

And I pasted in the correct email body from yesterday’s email below my explanation.

Many people opened this “penance” email.

Some read it.

And a few might even buy through it, as tends to happen when I include the right link.

Now, you might wonder why I’m mentioning all this. It’s to illustrate a principle I first heard from email marketing guru-in-chief Ben Settle. Says Ben (I’m paraphrasing):

“Nothing bad ever happens to you when you write emails”

In other words, everything can be turned and twisted into a good email.

So far, I’ve gotten new email content out of negative Amazon reviews, doubts about my credibility, and accusations thrown at me on Facebook.

​And as you’re currently reading, out of a story of how I botched my actual email sending.

All of which illustrates that it’s not hard to come up with fodder for daily emails, once you get in the groove.

Of course, you can’t send out an “I screwed up” email every day. You’ll need some other email ideas to keep things interesting for your audience.

If you want my ideas for the kind of email content you could be sending out to your list day after day, you might be interested in my upcoming book on email marketing. For more info or to sign up for a free copy, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

5 marketing lessons from the most boring writer who ever lived

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I advise you not to read this post.

It’s long, and it deals with a very boring topic. And that’s the poet Kenneth Goldsmith.

Goldsmith practices something called “uncreative writing.”

For example, he’s written a book called “Day.” This is a typed-out edition of the New York Times from September 1, 2000. “Day” is 836 pages long, and it took Goldsmith a year to type.

Goldsmith then wrote “Weather,” a transcript of a year’s worth of weather reports from a New York City local radio station.

After that, “Traffic” followed. And then “Sports.” You get the idea.

So is Goldsmith just a boring crank?

Maybe so.

But he’s definitely a successful, well-paid crank.

He teaches at the University of Pennsylvania. He read to Obama at the White House. He gets paid $500 for 30-minute readings of his works. And in 2013, he became the first poet laureate of the Museum of Modern Art.

But who cares about all that?

Instead, it turns out there are a bunch of instructive parallels between what Goldsmith does and what marketers and copywriters should do. Let me tell you about the top 5:

#1 Format rules

Speaking of his book “Day,” Goldsmith wrote:

“When you take a newspaper and reframe it as a book, you get pathos and tragedy and stories of love.”

Very true, in poetry as in direct-response copy. That’s because changing the format of your sales message — a sales letter vs. a video vs. a book — tends to have a much bigger impact on conversions than changing your headline, your offer, or any other aspect of your copy.

#2 Repulsion marketing

Goldsmith calls himself “the most boring writer who ever lived.”

He honed his boring chops working as a disk jockey for a radio show called Unpopular Music. That’s where he learned that challenging someone not to listen (or read) makes the person pay closer attention. And then your content either drives them away, or drives them more closely towards you.

Nothing new, you might say. This is a well-honed positioning strategy in the marketing world as well — email marketing guru Ben Settle being one well-known proponent.

#3 Branding done right

Goldsmith makes a personal spectacle out of himself. He wears paisley-patterned suits, sometimes with a long flowing skirt over his pants. “Every time I’m in public, I’m a persona, and people really hate that.”

Mind you, this isn’t traditional branding.

But exaggerating his natural tastes makes Goldsmith noticeable and memorable, and it’s something anybody (including internet entrepreneurs) can use as well.

#4 Troll management

The article I read about Goldsmith was full of comments by detractors, who were complaining about various aspects of his work.

Meantime, Goldsmith was off somewhere, busily devising the agenda for his upcoming projects — which will no doubt draw more criticism and negative reactions.

And there’s more.

When he was widely condemned of misappropriating racially sensitive material (the autopsy report of Michael Brown) for one of his readings, Goldsmith responded with his own thoughts — but didn’t apologize.

What better way to deal with online trolls as well?

#5 Moving information

Goldsmith says about his work:

“Moving information is a literary act, in and of itself […] How I make my way through this thicket of information — how I manage it, how I parse it, how I organize it and distribute it — is what distinguishes my writing from yours.”

Well, moving information is a sales act as well. In fact, Goldsmith’s attitude above echoes something copywriting genius Gene Schwartz said:

“Copy is not written. Copy is assembled.”

In essence, Gene was saying that sales copy is simply a collection of good sales arguments. And those sales arguments don’t come from introspection. Instead, they come from research, deep into your market. In other words, much of your copy can come straight from forum posts, Facebook comments, and testimonials written by your target audience.

And on that note, I’m signing off from today’s episode of Unpopular Copywriting.

If you want more unpopular ideas, sign up for my newsletter by using the page below. I’ll even send you a link to a free promo of my upcoming Upwork book (ETA 1 week):

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

 

The capitalist running dog responsible for a billion-dollar industry

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I started a new gym routine today.

And ​I’m finally trying some kettlebells. Which is rather odd, when you think about it.


Ten years ago, almost nobody had every heard of kettlebells.

Today, these lumps of iron are probably a billion dollar industry. Every gym around the world literally has dozens of them — and they ain’t cheap.

So what explains this explosion in kettle-interest?

In one word, Pavel.

In two words, Pavel Tsatsouline.

AKA “The Evil Russian,” Pavel Tsatsouline popularized the kettlebell in America, and was directly responsible for the fact that I was using one this morning.

Of course, Pavel didn’t do it alone.

There was also John Du Cane, owner of Dragon Door Publications, a direct marketing publisher that sells martial arts and fitness programs, including Pavel’s original Russian Kettlebell Challenge.

Over the years, Dragon Door has had other promising fitness stars in its stable.

But none of them have had anything close to the mainstream impact of The Evil Russian.

Which raises the question, why?

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you might be able to guess my thoughts on why Pavel was so successful.

In a nutshell, it’s his origin story.

Born in Minsk, raised in Riga, Pavel was supposedly a physical training instructor for Spetsnaz, the elite Soviet special-forces unit.

He then emigrated to the U.S., and after a string of odd jobs, became a “capitalist running dog,” selling Soviet military training secrets to pudgy middle-class Americans.


Of course, not everybody can claim to be peddling military secrets.

But with a bit of work, different elements of Pavel’s origin story can be applied, with surprisingly good effect, to any product, service, or brand.

This is something I’ll talk about in more detail in the future. For example, in my upcoming book on email marketing.

If you want to get notified when that book is out, and even to grab yourself a free copy, then comrade, you have but one task. Go to the page below, and subscribe to my newsletter:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Selling “male enhancement” with one easy, simple trick

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A few years back, I paid $500 for an online course called The Energy Blueprint.

This is offered by a guy called Ari Whitten, and it deals with increasing your energy levels and reducing fatigue.

The reason I actually plopped down the $500 was instructive. You see, out of the flood of marketing that Ari was putting out to promote his course, only one tiny bit caught my attention.

In one of his lead magnets, Ari gave a practical tip for increasing your energy. Says Ari,

“Drink a glass of water the first thing when you get up.”

“That’s it? How lame,” you might think.

I certainly did. After all, I do a ton of reading about health, and “drink water” is neither new nor exciting advice. And yet, Ari managed to sell it in such a way that this one small, not very impressive tip got me to buy a $500 course.

So what’s going on?

I thought about this in a lot of detail today.

That’s because I’ve been talking to a potential client.

He sells information in the “male enhancement” space and he wanted my thoughts on the lead magnet to use for a new product launch. (By the way, a lead magnet is the video or PDF that you give away to get potential leads onto your email list.)

So I thought about Ari Whitten’s easy, simple water trick, and how it worked on me. I broke it down into 3 crucial parts, all of which operated in tandem to convince me to actually buy his course.

Anyways, I shared the structure of Ari’s “water lead magnet” with this potential client.

And I’ll also be sharing it in my upcoming book on email marketing for the health space.  In fact, I think this kind of lead magnet works best for health offers — “male enhancement” included.

I’m planning on selling this book when it’s out. But if you sign up for it now, you can secure yourself a free copy. To do so, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Honeymoons on Hog Island

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There’s a tense scene early on in the James Bond film Casino Royale.

Jimmy, dressed in khakis and a black button-down shirt, sits down at a high-stakes poker game.

He keeps winning. By the end of the night, he even wins himself the keys to the bad guy’s Aston Martin, and indirectly, to the bad guy’s sexy wife.

Exciting stuff.

And set in a beautiful location, on an unnamed tropical island.

The real-life location of this scene is a private island in the Bahamas, currently worth about $2 billion. The island features exclusive casinos and some of the world’s most expensive hotels (including the The Atlantis, which offers a room for $25,000 a night).

Merv Griffin owned the island at one point, and reality-TV star Donald Trump was a major investor. All of which begs the question:

What’s the name of this magical place?

Why, I’m surprised you don’t know it. It’s none other than…

Hog Island.

Ok, it’s officially Paradise Island now, since around 1959.

But it certainly was Hog Island originally, until big tourist development started up, and the then-owner decided it was time for a rebranding.

Come to Hog Island — your wife is already here

The point being that names matter.

It’s hard to imagine James Bond paying a trip to Hog Island, even if it were packed with dangerous women and beautiful cars. It’s equally unlikely that even with the fanciest hotels and most romantic beaches, Hog Island would ever seem like an acceptable destination for a honeymoon.

But here’s something else to notice:

“Paradise Island” isn’t a terribly creative name. Yes, it’s good enough to sell an island in the Bahamas. But it wouldn’t do much to promote a rocky, rainy, wind-swept isle off the coast of Scotland.

All of which, I think, has some practical applications.

For example, if you are starting out as a freelancer on Upwork, you may be tempted to spend a lot of time on your profile page. Which title should you give yourself? What should you say in the description?

Sure, those things matter, just like the name “Paradise Island” matters. But they are only one part of the total picture of Upwork success and they won’t win you jobs by themselves.

So what to do?

I’ve got lots of advice on the “positioning” part of getting on Upwork. But I can also tell you about the entire process of becoming a $150/hr freelance copywriter. In fact, I’m putting together an entire book on the topic right now.

It will be out in another couple of weeks. And then I will put it up on Amazon.

If you want to sign up to get notified when it’s out, mix yourself up a Vesper martini, unholster your Beretta, and take aim at the deadly link below:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

Male chauvinist customer pigs

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Those darned male chauvinists. It seems you never can get rid of them. Here’s what I mean.

For the past few months, I’ve been working a lot with one client. They sell pain relief, in the form of shoe insoles and neck traction devices and back braces that straighten you up after years of slouchy posture.

Anyways, I’ve been writing most of this client’s copy lately. Which typically includes a front-end video ad, which runs on Facebook, followed by an advertorial.

These ads and advertorials are often written in a first-person, let-me-tell-you-what-I-found style. And depending on who the product is most likely to appeal to, sometimes that first-person is a woman, sometimes a man.

Or rather, I should say, sometimes it used to be a woman. Because today, I got some sexy feedback on this topic from the client:

“It seems men won’t purchase something on the recommendation of a woman’s review, but the opposite is less the case (women still heavily purchased the insoles from the male review). I think for the future it would be good to stick with things from the male perspective – but still write with both men and women in mind so we can go as broad as we can with these things.”

After reading this, all I can say is, I’m glad I work in direct response marketing.

Not because I encourage male chauvinism. Or because I have an interest in suppressing female-narrated advertorials.

But because direct response caters to the world as it is, rather than the way the dogma-of-the-day wants it to be.

Which means a lot less hand-wringing and head-shaking. And a lot more profitable sales.

Anyways, I’m sure that the conclusion above — women listen to men but not the other way around — doesn’t apply to all markets and all marketing situations.

But it is an interesting insight to keep in mind.

Now on a completely unrelated and unchauvinist note:

I’m wrapping up my book on how to succeed as a sales copywriter on Upwork.

When I’m done with this little piggy, I’ll put it up on Amazon.

If you want to get notified when that happens so you can grab your own copy (I’ve even heard rumors of a free promo period), then sign up below and I’ll send you an email once it’s out:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

The salutary effect of paying for traffic

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Right now, I’m running a paid Facebook ad campaign.

It’s promoting a lead magnet for my aromatherapy website, titled The Little Black Book of Essential Oil Scams.

I don’t know much about running ads on Facebook, but it seems like I’m getting leads for pretty cheap. On the other hand, they don’t seem to be the highest-quality leads — many people who opt in never even download the lead magnet.

But that’s ok.

Because the very fact of paying for traffic is having a salutary effect on me.

I got that phrase from negotiation master Jim Camp, who talked about “the salutary effect of cold calling.” When you cold call, Camp used to say, you have no expectations, and you have a great opportunity to eliminate all your neediness (one of the main pillars of Camp’s negotiation system).

Well, paying for traffic doesn’t have the same salutary effect.

But it does make me want to write emails every day to these leads. What’s more, it makes me want to write emails that get read and get people stirred up. In other words, I’m no longer just writing for the sake of being able to say I’ve done it. Instead, I’m writing to make sales.

That’s both because I’m spending money on traffic now (rather than counting on an indefinite stream of leads from Google)…

And it’s also because it becomes a game — can I make back the money that I will spend on ads, so I can do this all over again on a bigger scale?

Speaking of games, I’m running another ad campaign, and that’s on Amazon.

I’m promoting the aromatherapy books I have .

And once I finish up my new book, about being a successful freelancer on Upwork, I’ll put it up on Amazon, and promote it through ads as well.

However, before I do that, I will probably take advantage of Amazon’s free promotion period. This means, for a few days, once the book is published, it will be available to download for free.

In case you want to get notified when this happens, sign up below, and I’ll keep you in the loop:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

The night of the yellow ad

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On the evening of December 5th of this year, websites across the Internet started displaying an unusual ad.

There was no text on the ad.

No image.

Nothing was being advertised.

It was just a plain, 300×250 yellow square.

And to make things weirder, the revenues from these ads were huge. Some websites saw an 800% increase in their ad revenue. Altogether, this little yellow square, running for less than an hour, was responsible for somewhere between $1.6 million and $10 million in ad spend.

Was it all a brilliant marketing campaign?

Or some behemoth company that could afford to throw away millions of dollars on a bizarre stunt?

Neither, actually. The company behind the yellow ad was a small Australian ecommerce fashion brand called The Iconic. And the whole thing was a mistake, made by an ad team at Google, which helps companies learn how to use its ad platform.

(The Iconic apparently won’t be billed for Google’s mistake, and publishers will still be paid, I guess out of Google’s deep pockets.)

Now I’ve recently been dabbling with pay-per-click.

Not on Google, but on Facebook and, more recently, on Amazon.

So the story above is pretty relevant to me.

You see, any of these companies will gladly tell you how you should run your ad campaigns. They will give you advice. They will even offer to automate away much of the work.

The trouble is, even if they don’t make a nasty technical snafu like the “night of the yellow ad,” they aren’t really experts in marketing.

And I don’t think their advice really has my best interests in mind.

So instead, when I make my PPC campaigns, I keep it simple.

Instead of relying on the fancy advice of companies like Facebook and Google, I apply 100-year-old principles from Claude Hopkins’s Scientific Advertising, and go from there.

Does this apply to you?

Probably not. But it might be something to keep in mind in case you run (or are planning to run) paid ads.

On a related note:

If you are getting started as a freelancer on Upwork, I would also not go with the recommendations of that particular company for how to become successful.

Instead, I would recommend another resource.

It’s not 100 years old.

In fact, it’s not even published yet.

It’s an ebook I’m putting together right now, called How to Become a $150/hr, Top-Rated Sales Copywriter on Upwork.

If you want to get notified when I’m finished with this book and it becomes available, sign up below and I’ll keep you in the loop:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/