Business Ideas

Failed magicians, unfunny comedians, and me

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I spent the whole morning working today. I got nothing done, including this email, which was supposed to be written hours ago.

Still, hope lingers inside me. Maybe it will all somehow turn out ok.

Because the fact is, I wasted the entire the morning in research, trying to find good examples of a technique I don’t have a good name for.

My most good name for this technique is “calling out the vibe.”

Maybe you don’t know what I mean by that. I guess that’s part of the problem.

Calling out the vibe is what comedians do when their jokes aren’t landing. They call out the awkwardness and lack of response. The audience often laughs at this point, out of recognition and relief.

You can also use this technique if you’re nervous on a date or during an interview. Call it out. Put your nervousness into words, and see how the mood improves.

Or of course, if you’re trying to write your daily email, and your attempts are awful, just awful, too awful to send out, call that out. That’s your email right there.

You might think this is simply about being honest, or making the other side feel better because you fess up to your own troubles.

That’s part of it. But it’s not all of it, or even the main part.

Magicians call it out if their audience has grown suspicious.

Hypnotists observe their subjects deeply, and call out the physical changes they see as the subjects enter trance.

And wise negotiators call out the fact that their adversary has gotten too enthusiastic during a negotiation — too eager to say yes.

There’s some magic when you accurately call out the vibe. Try it yourself and see.

Another confession:

I had an offer planned for today, but well, it doesn’t fit any more.

So let me remind you of my Simple Money Emails program. Because calling out the vibe in your email is great. But you can’t do it every day, not unless it’s true.

And even if what you’re calling out is true, your audience might get tired after the third consecutive email that starts, “I spent the whole morning working today. I got nothing done, including this email…”

So what do you do on all those other days?

The answer can be found inside Simple Money Emails, which gives you 9 tried-and-true, use-them-every-day email openings.

These 9 openings don’t require an entire morning’s worth of research and false starts.

​​In fact, many of the most successful emails I’ve ever written, which are documented in the Simple Money Email swipe file that goes along with the program, took me all of 15 or 20 minutes to write.

If you’d like to find out more about Simple Money Emails, and how you can write such emails yourself:

https://bejakovic.com/sme/

Customers who pay you to pay you

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Right now, for the meager price of $30,000 to start, and then $10,000 per year to keep going, you can sign up to get a spot at Carbone.

Carbone is an exclusive restaurant in New York.

​​The $30k + $10k/year membership gets you a regular weekly table there.

​​Of course, you still have to pay for the food and drinks and service, which, as you can imagine, are expensive.

It turns out there are more and more such restaurants, going members-only.

They cater to people with money who want a few different things. One is better service, less waiting, and being treated with respect. Two is status and recognition. Three, and more than anything it seems, is a feeling of community.

In other words, people are paying good money to be among others like themselves, and to feel comfortable, welcome, and warm.

I’m telling you this to maybe warm up your own mind to the possibilities that are out there.

You can charge people decent money — maybe even indecent money — just for the privilege of being able to buy from you.

Of course, you do have to offer something in return — exclusivity, top-level service, a community.

Who knows? Maybe this is even a way you can charge for the marketing you give away now. Such as your daily emails, for example.

And with that, let me remind you of my Simple Money Emails program.

This program teaches you how to write emails that people want to read, and that they buy from.

I’ve only sent these kinds of emails to prospects for free.

But maybe you can not only use use these kinds of emails to make sales, but charge for them as well, by combining them with the idea above.

Whatever the case may be, if you’d like to find out more about Simple Money Emails:

https://bejakovic.com/sme/

PJ gives my book between 2 and 3 stars

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Yesterday, I checked Goodreads, where my 10 Commandments Of A-List Copywriters sometimes gets reviews that aren’t visible on the Amazon page.

It turned out I have a new, negative, 2.5-star review, from Goodreads user PJ.

When I saw this, I first went to the kitchen, got a long and sharp knife, and settled in to deal with PJ. Then I started to read his review:

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2.5 – closer to a 3 than 2

Not enough actionable insights in this book. Some excellent tips and history overall – but the lack of conceptual relevance between commandments hurt this book. If this had cohesive structure as to why and how these “commandments” coincide with one another, a summary section after each chapter, and many more examples, this could easy be a stalwart in the niche. There were a lot of good insights but I left every chapter thinking how I can really apply these techniques properly, and without contradicting one another as went on further.

I also think that a pitch for a newsletter should be done subtly and should be omitted from a paid product; despite this being a copywriting book.

===

What can I say?

I put my large and sharp knife away and just shrugged.

If PJ wants a single, unified copywriting system, with tons of examples, summary sections, and with detailed explanations that resolve the contradictions that show up whenever human psychology is involved, then he looked in the wrong place. (Maybe it’s for the best.)

My little 10 Commandments book, which happens to cost $5, never claimed to be a cohesive, exhaustive stalwart of copywriting education.

However, I do have something that does make those promises. It’s my Copy Riddles program.

PJ probably won’t ever find out about Copy Riddles – I’m guessing he never responded to my in-book pitch for this free newsletter.

But you are here. And you are reading.

And if you’d like to find out more about A-list copywriting techniques, and how to actually apply them properly in your own marketing or writing, in a systematic way, then lookee here for more info on my copywriting education stalwart, Copy Riddles:

https://bejakovic.com/cr/

Successful cold outreach that teases secrets

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In my email yesterday, I featured a failed cold outreach message that some dude sent me. I asked readers how they might improve this failed message.

I got a bunch of responses, commentary, and reworked cold pitches. Among them was the following reworked pitch, from a copywriter named Paul:

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Hi John,

I read your book about A-List copywriters and I found it very interesting. Actually, I am also a writer and I had an idea that I’m sure will push your results through the roof. It’s a very interesting concept, especially for your type of business.

I feel like we could do a partnership with me providing extra value to your business and you telling about your experience in direct response.

Let me know if this could interest you, we can schedule a call in the week to talk about it.

===

Like I wrote to Paul, his reworked cold email was an improvement over the original.

Because of this, I might at least respond to this email to acknowledge it.

Or I might not. Because I feel I’m being baited by this promise of a “very interesting concept.” ​​It’s a bait I can well refuse, especially considering the risk of biting down on it — wasting my time and having to meet God-knows-who on a Zoom call.

One thing’s for sure. I definitely wouldn’t agree to get on a call based on just this email.

And yet…

A very similar cold outreach message has worked in the past.

In fact, a very similar cold pitch opened up doors, got a meeting, and launched a million-dollar, A-list copywriting career.

The pitch was very similar to the one above. But it was also different, in one critical regard.

I’m not sure the if the critical difference will be obvious to you.

But if you are looking to do cold outreach that actually gets a response, it might be worth trying to figure out the difference between the cold outreach message above, and the one on the following page.

In case you are curious:

Click here to schedule a call with me (no, just kidding, click here to see the successful cold outreach message)

How to write a better cold outreach message

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Today, I got an email from somebody I don’t know with the subject line, “Need an intern?” I opened it. It read:

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Hi John,

I think I originally came across you via a Google search after reading Peter Tzemis’s blog. I like your writing style, and I was curious if you need anyone to help you with anything? I want to get hands on experience with direct response.

I currently write on [link to guy’s personal musings Substack]. Let me know if this is of any interest to you.

===

I heard marketer Sean D’Souza say a smart thing once.

If you have a problem in your business, says Sean, don’t work on fixing it. Instead, work on fixing somebody else’s business.

Somehow, we’re all blinded by our own unique circumstances. It makes it hard to see the right thing to do.

It’s much easier when looking at other people’s circumstances. Figure out how to help others, and you figure out how to help yourself.

I’m telling you this because maybe you would like to connect with people you don’t know.

Maybe you’re looking for clients, or for an opportunity to get your message out, or you’re just trying to build your network.

Cold email can open lots of doors. But maybe it’s not opening doors for you right now.

So here’s your chance.

Figure out how you might fix the approach of the guy who wrote me above.

I can tell you I didn’t take him up on him on his intern offer.

​​In fact, I didn’t even respond to his email, and I make a habit of responding to almost everyone who writes me.

What could he have done differently?

Think about it, and maybe you can help yourself. And if you like, write in with your best idea, and I can tell you my opinion on whether it would have made a difference or no.

People like you better when you taste something awful

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Opening scene:

Private investigator Lew Harper lies awake in bed. He stares at the ceiling.

His alarm goes off. He knocks it with his fist to turn it off.

Harper gets out of bed, pushes the still-on TV out of the way, and pulls up the blinds on the windows.

It becomes clear that Harper’s bedroom is actually Harper’s office. He isn’t sleeping there because he was working late, but because he doesn’t have a proper apartment.

Harper goes to the fridge, gets an ice pack. He walks over to the sink, dumps the ice in, and fills it up with water. He puts his head in the ice-filled sink and holds it there.

Finally, Harper goes to make coffee.

He folds a coffee filter. He folds it again. He gets ready to put coffee into the filter but — the coffee can is empty.

Harper hangs his head in defeat.

Then he thinks for a minute. He doesn’t like what he’s thinking. But what to do?

He goes over to the trash can and opens it.

There’s yesterday’s coffee filter with yesterday’s coffee, looking up at him.

Should he? Shouldn’t he?

He does.

Harper takes yesterday’s coffee out the trash. He makes a new coffee with it. He takes a sip.

And, in a moment that launched a giant Hollywood career, Harper shudders from how bad the coffee tastes.

So now, let me ask you, how do you feel?

Let me change how you feel for a moment, by sharing with you a really repulsive negotiation lesson. It comes from negotiation coach Jim Camp, who said:

“The wise negotiator knows that only one person in a negotiation can feel okay, and that person is the adversary.”

I’ve read this lesson 100 times. I accept it on an intellectual level. But I still find it impossible to accept emotionally, and that’s why I say it’s so repulsive.

Camp advised his coaching clients to make their negotiation adversaries feel okay. To make them feel smart, important, respected.

“Fine,” you might say, “that’s pretty obvious.”

That’s what I said too.

But the part that’s not obvious is that Camp says that okayness is a positional good. If you have it, then I can’t have it. And vice versa.

That’s the part I still can’t accept.

Whether or not Camp’s 100% right, the truth remains, if I make myself a little unokay, you will feel more okay.

And as proof of that, let me finish up the Harper story.

Harper was the first screenplay ever written by my favorite screenwriter, William Goldman.

The movie went on to be a big success. It launched Goldman’s career in Hollywood. It led Goldman to dozens more movies, a couple Academy Awards, and even a few million dollars.

None of it would have happened had Harper been a flop. But Harper was a success from that opening scene. Goldman wrote about the reaction of people who saw Harper when it launched:

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Whenever anyone talked about Harper to me in the weeks that followed, that was the moment they they remembered — drinking that horrible stuff. And the laugh that went along with it, that was a laugh of affection.

What that coffee moment really turned out to be was an invitation that the audience gladly accepted: They liked Lew Harper.

From that moment forward, the script was on rails.

===

In entirely unrelated news:

Yesterday, I asked readers what todo items are waiting for them that they are dreading. I got a number of people responding with dreadful todo items.

In situations like this, whenever I get a number of good responses, I always like to repeat the offer. There’s sure to be people who didn’t see it the first time or who got pulled away before having a chance to respond.

So here goes:

What’s one thing on your todo list for today that you’re dreading?

It can be big or small. Important or trivial. The only thing that counts is that you’re not looking forward to doing it.

Let me know. Maybe I can figure out or find a solution to help you get rid of this troubling todo item. Thanks in advance.

Confidence kills

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This morning, I saw a chocolate Labrador run up to a couple at a streetside cafe.

The couple — a man and a woman — were sitting in the sun and having coffee and sandwiches.

At first, I thought the dog knew the couple. He frolicked around them, wagged his tail excitedly, and let them pet him.

But it turned out no. This was their first-ever meeting.

The dog’s owner came up, leash in hand, apologizing to the couple, and tried to collect the dog.

The lab evaded the owner. He ran to the other side of the table. And then he put his entire head on the actual table, right next to the sandwich the woman was eating.

The woman started to laugh. She wagged her finger and in a mock-educational tone, she told the dog, “La confianza mata!” Confidence, as in trust of others, kills. I’m not 100% sure, but I think she slipped the dog a little piece of jamón from her sandwich as the owner yanked the beast away.

Maybe there’s a persuasion lesson in there?

Maybe. Let’s see.

Dogs trust strangers instinctively.

Humans don’t.

“Confidence kills!” That’s what we tell ourselves, our kids, and even those same dogs, though we can’t beat it out of them.

This lack of confidence is a problem, particularly if you want strangers to trust you and to do as you want.

Solution:

Do as the dog did.

Trust people first. Even if they are complete strangers.

This is what master persuaders, the ones who have persuaded thousands or even millions of strangers, have found to work the best. In the words of one such master persuader, Claude Hopkins:

“Ask a person to take a chance on you, and you have a fight. Offer to take a chance on him, and he might slip you a piece of jamón.”

And now, can I ask for your help?

The fact is, I don’t have any offer to promote today. Maybe even tomorrow.

So if you’re okay with it, can I ask you a rather personal question? Here goes:

What’s one thing on your todo list for today that you’re dreading?

It can be big or small. Important or trivial. The only thing that counts is that you’re not looking forward to doing it. ​​

Let me know. Maybe I can figure out or find a solution to help you get rid of this troubling todo item. Thanks in advance.

Celebrity-ashtray-of-the-month club

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I was doing some research yesterday. I wanted to find an old ad. Instead, I found the Bone of the Month Club.

Throughout the 90s, the Bone of the Month Club was advertised with dozens of placements in US magazines and newspapers.

​​For a yearly membership of $79.95, you or your dog could get a dog treat or toy delivered in the mail, every month.

This got me curious. What other of-the-month-clubs were out there?

Two minutes of research dug up the usual suspects: book, movie, gadget.

But two more minutes dug up real headscratchers:

Potato-of-the-month club (new variety of potato each month)… crossword-puzzles-of-the-month club (gotta catch ’em all)… and a monthly “BoneBox,” which, unlike the Bone of the Month Club, actually delivers mystery animal bones to your door each month.

Right now, I’m also reading about Julien’s, an auction house for the stuff of celebrities, dead and living.

Julien’s auctioned off everything from a lamp made from a taxidermied armadillo and given by Gene Simmons to Cher (price: $4,000) to the Fender guitar Kurt Cobain played in the Smells Like Teen Spirit video (price: $4,000,000).

It turns out there’s a booming market for such celebrity stuff. And often, the more personal, intimate, sticky, slimy, smelly the celebrity item, the more people will pay for it.

​​Hence my idea for the celebrity-ashtray-of-the-month club.

You might think I’m joking. You’d only be partly right.

There’s a bigger marketing and business point here. I think it applies to everyone who wants to be successful and to do so with minimum stress and work.

I’ll make you a deal right now:

Write in and tell me what you collect. It can be anything. No judgment. From small to big, from formal collecting (stamps, sneakers, silver coins) to informal collecting (copywriting courses, pickup lines, or countries you’ve visited).

In turn, I’ll write you back. And I’ll tell you the bigger point behind my email, and how you can use it to create a longer-lasting, more cash-spewing business.

The course I wish I had created

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Just a few moments ago, I sent an email to marketer Matt Giaro, telling him he’s free to use the following line and to attribute it to me:

“You took the information I gave you and ran with it much further than I did, and developed a complete system for it and got repeatable results from it, unlike me. I wish I had done what you did, but now that you’ve done it, there’s no need for me to do it on my own and duplicate the work.”

The background:

Some time last fall, Matt contacted me.

​​He saw that, earlier in the year, I had run a $300 classified ad in Josh Spector’s newsletter. He was thinking about doing the same, and he wanted to know my experiences.

So we did a quick little one-hour paid consult.

I told Matt how I ran a few successful newsletter ads (Josh Spector, Daniel Throssell), where I got hundreds of new subscribers who paid for themselves, usually on day zero.

I also told him about the unsuccessful newsletter ads I ran, which just cost me money and probably sender reputation (I’m looking at you, Udimi).

And that was that. Matt said thanks, and we went our separate ways.

Until this March. That’s when I saw that Matt was launching a new course, called Subscribers From Scratch. It was all about how he was getting high-quality newsletter subscribers by running little ads in other newsletters.

The fact is:

The way I was running newsletter ads required a good deal of work. It wasn’t something that I wanted to do every month, much less every week or two.

And since I have plenty of other shiny gewgaws to distract me, I never bothered to figure out how to run newsletter ads repeatably and to still get good results.

But Matt did figure it out.

He took what I told him and ran with it. He developed his own system that allowed him to get a few dozen or a few hundred subscribers each time he ran a newsletter ad.

But much more importantly, he figured out how to get quality subscribers, subscribers who ended up paying for the ad, often in a matter of days.

So like I said to Matt, his Subscribers From Scratch is the course I wish I had created.

I wish I had taken the trouble to figure out a repeatable, scalable system for running newsletter ads. I wish I had packaged it up and sold it.

But I didn’t. And now that he’s done it, I won’t have to.

Right about now, you might expect me to plop in an affiliate link for Matt’s Subscribers From Scratch.

That won’t happen.

Subscribers From Scratch normally sells for $397. But I got Matt to agree to give away a “lite” version of it — all the training and how-to information, minus the bonuses and templates — for free.

Well, for free if you’ve already bought my Simple Money Emails course. Or if you buy it before this Saturday, June 1, at 12 midnight PST.

If you’ve already bought Simple Money Emails, you should have gotten an email from me already with the instructions on how to claim Subscribers From Scratch Lite.

And if you haven’t yet bought it, but you want to learn how to write effective daily emails that make sales, and get Matt’s Subscribers From Scratch Lite for free, and learn how to get readers who actually buy from the emails you write, then here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/sme/

Exotic dancer turns down a client

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Today I was talking to the owner of a successful Facebook ads agency. She said something interesting about a potential client she turned away.

I asked if I could reprint what she told me in my email and use her name.

She refused. At least the name part.

“Never ever name me,” she said. “Not my real name. Give me a cool name, some exotic dancer’s name.”

So let’s call her Misty Mirage.

And yes, you now have the right to feel I catfished you into reading this email, because this is as close to exotic dancers as this story is going to get.

You have every right to close down this email or even to unsubscribe in frustration.

But you might still want to read on, because what happened was short but steamy.

So Misty Mirage was talking to a potential client today. They were talking about a private dance, aka. a Facebook ads campaign that Misty would run.

Except, the guy didn’t have the money to pay Misty her usual exotic rate. He was trying to negotiate some kind of payment plan.

Normally, Misty would try to accommodate a broke but nice client and still do a little dance for him. But perhaps because of the alignment of the stars and the moon, today she refused.

​​As she told me:

“Normally I would have tried to help this dude for free, and done a ton of work, and then he would have ended up disappointed and so would I. Because it wouldn’t have worked without a lot of effort and a lot of money. If this guy doesn’t have the money to pay me, he’s not gonna have the money to run ads properly. So I told him, ‘Can’t do it for you.'”

I’ve previously suggested choosing clients and customers by asking yourself, “Would I bet on this person? If I could only get paid if they end up successful, would I still take their money upfront?”

I still think this is a good question to ask. But apparently it’s not good enough.

Like Misty’s case shows, even successful business owners will do work for free just to be nice.

Maybe it’s not always “free” free work.

​​But it’s free work nonetheless — selling their products or services for cheaper than they could sell them, or giving away consultations or good advice, or simply not charging for all they do or all the time that they invest.

I know I’ve done it in the past. Sometimes I still catch myself doing it. Maybe you’re doing it too.

So I’m here to tell you, it’s okay to stop.

​​It’s okay to say no.

​​It’s okay to send people away, even if they’re nice, because they simply have too many pieces missing for you to really help them. It can be genuine charity. And it will also help your business.

And now:

Since I love to apply the ideas I write about, I would like to announce that tomorrow I will give away something for free.

But it won’t be anything of my own.

It will be a free, time-limited bonus for anyone who has bought my Simple Money Emails course. This free bonus is currently selling for as much as Simple Money Emails sells for. But you get it for free, if you are a Simple Money Emails buyer.

More info on that tomorrow.

But if you’d like to get Simple Money Emails today, both because it can show you how to write steamy, burlesque-like emails like this one, and because you want tomorrow’s free bonus, whatever it may be, then head on over here:

https://bejakovic.com/sme