Great product names for dummies

by

Today I spent some time looking up the worst book titles of all time, according to the Internet. Here are a few standouts:

– The Joy Of Uncircumcising
– You Are Worthless
– Reusing Old Graves
– The Missionary Position: Mother Theresa In Theory – And Practice
– How Green Were The Nazis?

Ridiculous, right? But it’s easy to shake your head and point and laugh. Can you do better though?

Can you come up with a great book title that gets people to latch on to a book… pick it up… thumb through it… buy it… and mention it to friends, before they’ve even read it?

It’s a relevant question if you’re a marketer or copywriter. Because book titles are the closest mainstream thing to naming direct response products and offers.

If you like, I’ll tell you what I think. I think there are lots of ways to come up with good titles or offer names. Let me illustrate just one:

– The 4-Hour Workweek
– The 16-Word Sales Letter
– The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches

How good are these titles actually? ​​Well, the first and third are backed up by results.

Neither Tim Ferriss nor Joe Karbo were famous. And yet they managed to get their books to millions of people, largely on the strength of the appeals in those 4- and 5-word titles.

The second title on that list is a book by Evaldo Albuquerque. It’s about a very niche topic — writing long-form sales letters. And even so, it’s got a respectable 260 reviews on Amazon.

A part of that is because Evaldo is as close to a star as you can get in this field. Plus he has the backing of many copywriting and marketing influencers.

But his title certainly helps. And in any case, it’s an illustration of the point I want to make:

* You can write a good name through paradox.

“Paradox” in this case is a shortcut for flat-out impossibility (“The 16-Word Sales Letter”)… contradiction (“The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches”)… or subverting strong expectations (“The 4-Hour Workweek”).

So how do you use this? All I can do is give you an example.

​​Say you’re selling a solution that helps people title their books. So you start with “book title” in the name of your offer. And then you ask yourself:

What’s the opposite of that? What are things that people believe to be “musts” around this topic? What are people expecting?

Well, one thing people might expect is that a good title has to be short. So you could use the name:

“The 99-Word Book Title”

People might also expect that you have to be creative to come up with a good name. So here’s option two:

“The Dullard’s Way To Great Book Titles”

Finally, people might think that coming up with a title name will take brainstorming or a lot of time. So you subvert that:

“The 4-Second Book Title”

But perhaps the results still suck. Fear not. There are lots of formulas you can use.

​​For example, if your topic is tricky, overwhelming, or requires study or intelligence… there’s an easy way to turn that into a title that works. Just put your topic in your name… and then attach “for dummies” at the end. And if you think you need it, add a disclaimer:

“Great Product Names For Dummies: Not just for dummies — but for everyone who is intrigued by paradox!”

Well. Maybe you’re still not sold. Maybe you want more ways to come up with great names for your product or offer. Then here’s an offer of my own:

I write an email newsletter. Product naming is something I might talk about more in the future… or I might not. But if I do, my newsletter is the first place where any such talk will go. If you don’t want to miss that, click here to subscribe.

Fun but true: A game about the online marketing hamster wheel

by

Today I spent 241.81 seconds to complete the fun “Terms and Conditions” game. The game is simple but devious:

You start with a barrage of popups. You have to opt out and reject more and more complex attempts to track you, to get you signed up to a newsletter, to trick you into something you don’t want.

One of the popups is in Morse code.

A few contain logical puzzles you have to solve.

One I still haven’t figured out, because it seems to be a game of chance, like simplified roulette.

Anyways, my point is this sounds a lot like the world of online direct marketing.

Escalating armaments on both sides… with marketers coming up with new and clever ways to trick prospects into clicking, opting in, and buying… and prospects scrambling to fight back and protect their privacy, their attention, and their wallets.

Perhaps I am just lazy. But I find it to be a revolting amount of wasted effort on both sides. Like both marketers and prospects are running on parallel hamster wheels, trying to outpace the other guy.

I don’t mean to get all heavy on you. But I will point out that there are direct marketers who have figured out how to step off the hamster wheel and still keep making good money.

I’m sure there are many ways you can do it. I’ve already written about one such way, which I called the “Brand Marketing Rapture”.

But there are others, and I will probably write about them in the future. If you don’t want to miss that… you can sign up to my newsletter (beware, an optin form will pop up) by clicking here.

Beware “spiritual” and “heart-centered” customers

by

Time for a personal revelation:

I went to college in Santa Cruz, California, a place filled with weed-smoking, patchouli-burning, beatific-smiling hippies. And I remember talking to my roommate at the time about the following paradox.

As a group, hippies claim to be all about peace, love, and understanding. But at an individual level, they tend to be some judgmental, closed-minded, and often nasty people.

Bah. Who knows. Maybe I was just projecting.

Anyways, I remembered this today because of something I heard Todd Herman say.

I’d never heard of Herman until today. Apparently he’s a big deal. He works with Olympic athletes and became a success in spite of his dyslexia. And now he runs successful online programs teaching you how to peakify your performance.

These are quality programs, says Herman, with low refund rates. But some people do refund, and Herman wanted to see if there are any patterns here.

So Herman tracked down the social profiles of the refunders. He wanted their Twitter and Facebook self-descriptions. He took these and dumped them all into a big file, and then put this into some software for creating a tag cloud.

And what came out? Who were the people who were buying and then returning these programs, which Herman says most everyone else is thrilled with?

Well, draw your own conclusions. But according to Todd Herman, two phrases kept cropping up in these social profile bios:

1. “Heart-centered”

and

2. “Spiritual”

This personally confirms my previous biases… but even so. If you sell anything online, it might be good for you to know, and might save you some frustration.

And now, here’s my (qualified) pitch to you:

I heard Todd Herman talk about this during his Steal Our Winners segment.

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know that once a month, I plug Steal Our Winners. That’s because each month, Rich Schefren manages to get six or seven top-level marketers to share a tip or trick or even strategy that’s working really well for ’em right now.

In a normal month, I find at least three or four segments to be really interesting.

But not so this month. This month, I only found Todd Herman’s part interesting. Herman talked about a clever system he has for getting his customers to reveal their deep seated motivations, in their own words.

It might not sound like breakthrough stuff… but if you do do it, it will make your audience say, “Wow… it’s like you’re reading my mind. How did you do that?” And that’s good for sales… as well as your relationship with your audience.

So that’s my qualified pitch for Steal Our Winners. Most months, you get at least 3 or 4 good and genuinely new ideas. Some months though, you might only get one.

But however many good ideas you get, they won’t be worth anything unless you implement them. On the other hand, if you implement even one, it will certainly be worth much more than the low, low price of a Steal Our Winners subscription.

How low are we talking about? Actually, I don’t know. I signed up for a lifetime subscription a while ago, and the price may have gone up since.

But I do know you can try out Steal Our Winners for one month, and listen to Todd Herman’s interview if you like, for an unthinkable fee of $1 (yes, one dollar). In case you’re interested, here’s where to go:

https://www.bejakovic.com/sow​​

Gary Halbert’s second best copywriting tip

by

On January 7 of this year, carried on the wings of Twitter, Elon Musk became the richest person in the world.

That was good news for the folks at Agora, who could now run the following promo about Jeff Bezos:

“World’s second richest man’s NEW world-changing disruption”

I don’t know about you, but this sounds more intriguing to me than:

“World’s richest man’s NEW world-changing disruption”

And I guess Agora’s readers agree. After all, Agora keeps mailing this second richest thing, even though Bezos is actually back to being the richest person ever, as of February 16.

My point is this:

When it comes to copy, superlatives and extremes are great. But they can become unbelievable, or simply tired. If that’s happening in your market, it can make sense to go to the extreme… and then back off 1%. Just like Gary Halbert did with the following bullet:

* Almost foolproof contraception: It’s over 99% effective but… so new… most people have never even heard about it!

You might wonder what this new form of contraception is. That depends, like Bill Clinton said, on what the meaning of “is” is. But I will tell you this:

The secret Gary is talking about is actually 100% effective. (I found that out by following Gary’s top copywriting tip, which was to study bullets by comparing them to the source text.)

And yet, Gary decided to cut down the effectiveness of his promise. Why?

Because round numbers seem less specific, and therefore less convincing, than jagged numbers.

So if your number is round (like 100% contraceptive effectiveness… or the world’s richest man), then take Gary’s lead. Find creative ways to rough up your promise and make it more believable.

And if you want more second- and third-best copywriting tips:

Click here to sign up for my email newsletter.

Chance encounters with Blackie

by

And somewhere in the darkness
The gambler he broke even
But in his final words
I found an ace that I could keep
— Kenny Rogers, The Gambler

This morning, I started writing my bread-and-butter piece of copy. It’s an advertorial of a person on a quest.

In this case, the quest is a mom looking for a way to cope with her 8-year-old’s ADHD without drugs. I’ve also used the same quest structure to sell tens of thousands of shoe insoles, silicone kitchen sponges, even fake diamonds.

The quest has 3 acts.

Act 1 is the hero coming face-to-face with the horror of the problem… and then getting sucked deeper and deeper into promised solutions that don’t work or even make things worse. Despair sets in.

Act 2 starts with a chance encounter. And that’s what I want to tell you about today.

In my advertorials, this chance encounter is usually a friend or acquaintance the hero hasn’t met in a long while. The friend casually mentions the key missing ingredient for the hero’s quest.

At first, the hero is skeptical. But the friend isn’t pushy, plus there’s a good reason why the solution could work. So the hero goes home to do more research and— EUREKA!!

If this sounds familiar, it’s because something like it is present in more than 99% of all make money, rags-to-riches, “I was living in a trailer but look at me now” sales letters. The hero in those stories wouldn’t be the success he is today were it not for the trick he learned from a Yoda-like guru who lives on top of a mountain or in a gated retirement community in Florida.

In fact, according to Dan Kennedy, this same trope goes back to at least the middle of the last century. It’s called a “Blackie story.”

Old Blackie was this horse track regular until the day he died. He had a secret for bettin’ on the ponies… and then on his death bed, he revealed the secret to the writer of the sales letter.

What do you think? Corny? Overplayed? Transparent?

Think what you like. The fact is these Blackie stories work.

Because chance encounters in stories are like spike proteins on the surface of corona virus. They jam themselves into your soft defenses so the payload can worm its way in.

And if Blackie dies to boot, like The Gambler in the Kenny Rogers song, it’s even more powerful. Because the secret is now lost… unless you buy the product on sale.

This all reminds me of a run-in I once had with an old door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman. He showed me a neat little trick to get your foot in the door, every time, without fail. It works brilliantly online too.

Unfortunately the poor bastard died just a few weeks later. Rest in peace, Jerome.

If you’re curious to learn Jerome’s “foot in the door” copywriting trick… it’s one of the things I share inside my email newsletter. It’s free to subscribe. You might find it entertaining, and you can always unsubscribe if you don’t like it. Here’s where to sign up.

Why gamification fails (and how to use this to create fanatically loyal customers)

by

Here’s a riddle for you from the book review I shared yesterday:

You might remember the gamification craze from the beginning of this decade. App creators were convinced that adding badges, randomness, and leveling up to any activity would make it irresistible.

​​And yet, despite following a lot of the same strategies that gambling machine designers did, those app creators never did create an army of self-improvement addicts.

​​If designers optimized gambling machines for addictiveness, why can’t they do the same for these apps? If bad machines can be made addictive, then why can’t good machines?

The anonymous author of the book review gives a few possible answers. But he or she is not happy with any of them.

I don’t know the answer either. But I can tell you the answer to a related riddle, which goes like this:

Why do hazing rituals for college fraternities never involve anything useful or positive?

You know the rituals I’m talking about. A college freshman wants to get into a fraternity. So he’s given a beating by his future fraternity brothers… he’s told to spend the night outside in freezing weather wearing nothing but a loincloth… and he’s forced to eat a pound of raw beef liver.

If he survives all this, he gets into the fraternity.

But why exactly those nasty and humiliating tasks? Why not combine the humiliating with the useful?

Why don’t fraternities make new recruits wash some train station toilets… or change the adult diapers of incontinent senior citizens… or collect litter from the side of a highway on a sweltering August day?

The answer, according to slot machine designer Robert Cialdini, is this:

“They want to make the men own what they have done. No excuses, no ways out are allowed.”

Cialdini claims that the point of hazing rituals is to make new recruits fanatical about their new fraternity membership, once they achieve it.

Hazing rituals work brilliantly for this goal. But there’s a catch:

The ritual tasks HAVE to be pointless.

Otherwise a new member can convince himself that some other good came out of all that humiliation and pain… which takes away from the value of the fraternity.

In other words, whenever we do something because of added motives — whether positive or negative — we don’t end up owning that behavior fully. We don’t make it a part of our identity.

And that I think can be a good answer to why slot machines are so addicting… while your Duo Lingo app is not.

Of course, I also think this ties into running a business. Even though it’s at odds with much direct response wisdom.

I think you can use this insight to create fanatically loyal customers… as opposed to customers who abandon you and forget you at the first turn in the road. Which is exactly what happens to most direct response businesses.

To me, it seems the application is obvious… but if it’s not, sign up for my email newsletter. It’s a topic I might discuss more in the future… or I might not.

The direct response casino

by

Today I read a fascinating review of the book Addicted by Design.

I normally don’t talk about reviews in these posts. Instead, I like to go to the source and talk about that. I’m gonna break that rule today for two reasons:

1. The topic is too damned interesting to put off.

2. The review is so well written. It might in fact be better than the book itself, if the few quotes from the book are any indication.

So here’s the gist of what I got from this review:

1. Casinos and slot machine makers have gotten incredibly sophisticated at gaming human mental and emotional quirks. They’ve got lots of invisible tricks, including “losses disguised as wins”, “reel mapping”, and “teaser strips”.

2. Most gamblers are not looking to win. Rather, they are looking to be in the “zone”, a kind of flow state in which the cares of the world are replaced with a feeling of optimism and control.

3. Like the NRA, the gambling industry spends a lot of money to pump the idea that their products are neutral tools. It’s all about how you use ’em.

This last point reminded me of what I call “direct response apologists.” These are industry insiders who like to say that direct response techniques are neutral tools. It’s all about what you use ’em for.

The parallels run deeper:

Casinos actually go to a good bit of trouble to make it seem like they are giving gamblers a choice. They provide addiction interventions, counseling, and pre-programmed spending limits. And yet they invest heavily in making the most addicting slot machines possible.

This reminded me of one sophisticated direct response marketer. He repeatedly told his audience not to fall for the overwhelming lures of social proof when making buying decisions. And then he put his other hat on, and ran a campaign to that same audience, made up mostly of testimonials.

The other two points above also map well to world of direct response:

Direct response marketers have certainly become very good at gaming attention, desire, and belief in the process of sucking out money from customers.

And like I’ve written before, the majority of DR customers are not really looking to win. Instead, they are looking for the momentary rush of buying, where they are filled with optimism and a feeling of control.

So where does that leave you?

Maybe you’re left. Maybe you don’t buy the “neutral tool” argument of direct response apologists.

Or maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re just in the business of gaming human mental and emotional quirks for a living, and you’re looking for the best new tips and tricks from related industries.

Whatever side you’re on, of if by chance you’re on both, I think you will profit by at least scanning this book review. If you wanna give it a try, here’s the link:

https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/your-book-review-addiction-by-design

Dan Ferrari’s shocking advice to copywriters who hope to write a winning ad

by

A couple days ago, I revisited two “control” sales letters by copywriter Dan Ferrari. Dan wrote these sales letters while he was a star in-house copywriter at The Motley Fool. The headlines for the two sales letters read:

HEADLINE 1: What Every American Wishes They Knew Before Filing For Social Security

HEADLINE 2: Warren Buffet’s Shocking Advice to Americans Who Hope to Retire in the Next 5-7 Years

Now maybe I hear you saying:

“That’s it? Those are the winning headlines that a ‘star A-list copywriter’ writes? Pff. I could write that back when I was in 3rd grade!”

And I’m sure you could. And you could probably also write it now, as long as you remembered just two simple but powerful things.

(I’m telling you these two things because I myself often forget them. Whenever I forget them, sales plummet and promotions fail. Whenever I remember them, sales stay healthy and clients come back for more.)

So thing one is that your #1 asset as a copywriter is to know your audience well, and know exactly what they worry about and want. Maybe you’ve heard that before. That’s because it’s true.

Thing two is to realize that… as valuable as fancy copywriting tricks can be in some situations… good copywriting is most often simple. Simple and clear. As Dan himself said once:

“In many places, clarity trumps everything else. It trumps misdirection. It trumps trying to create readership because clarity will create readership.”

And now, here’s a shockingly simple offer:

I write an email newsletter about marketing and copywriting, both from my own experience and from stuff I’ve learned from people like Dan Ferrari. In case this is something you could benefit from, you can try out the newsletter by signing up here.

A harmless but effective trick used for decades by the most daring and successful copywriters in the world

by

I did everything they told me to do.

I snuck around at night, posting bandit signs, hoping nobody would see me… I spent hours driving around, searching for junky abandoned houses… I went into places of business and, when nobody was looking, because it’s embarrassing, I put fliers on bulletin boards.

You know… all the methods that are supposed to work. Except they didn’t.

That’s a bit from a VSL I wrote last year in the real estate investing space. It’s a typical story — I tried all the usual stuff, it was confusing and humiliating and got me nowhere… then I hit upon something new and different.

Typical. What’s not typical is the guy who was telling this story:

He is a bona fide Green Beret.

​​He served in the U.S. Army Special Forces for 10 years in Afghanistan and Iraq and various classified locations. Then he got out of the army, and worked as a firefighter for a while. Then he decided to make money. So he started investing in real estate and spun off a bunch of businesses and became a multi-millionaire.

But at the start, as he told me, he was confused and unsuccessful and ashamed.

A Green Beret! Confused and ashamed!

Is it any wonder you feel the same?

The fact is, people in almost any direct response market feel shame, whether openly or deep down. How else can they respond to having a burning problem… which they’ve failed to solve, over and over?

If you’re writing copy, there are several ways you can deal with this. The weakest is to tell people, “It’s not your fault.” Fortunately, better options exist.

One is to have a real-life action hero tell you, “It was the same for me. Here, let me take you under my wing and show you what really works.”

This does two things. First, it calms that burning sense of “must be something uniquely wrong with me.” Second, it allows the reader to tap into a new source of pride. Hey! I’m now in this inner circle with a real-life commando!

And in case you’re wondering if this really works:

This VSL increased response 3x over the control. In all fairness, a part of that impressive result was the flimsiness of the control. But a part of it was capitalizing on this guy’s action-hero status and his early struggles with real estate.

“Great,” you might say. “All I need now is a sensitive and vulnerable Green Beret. Thanks for nothing.”

Hold on. No Green Beret… no problem. Take a look at this John Carlton bullet:

* Amazing trick that instantly eliminates “performance anxiety” in men! (Used for centuries by the most daring and successful lovers in the world… see page 112.)

It’s the same damn thing as above. The only difference is… who are these daring and successful lovers?

Well, the book John was selling gives a few case studies of guys who overcame performance flop.

Are they the most daring and successful lovers in the world?

Perhaps.

Or perhaps John was burning with shame at how vanilla his bullet was… so he resorted to a bit of puffery to create mystery and intrigue.

It’s a harmless but effective trick… and if it’s good enough for a legendary and super-rich copywriter like John, well…

In case you want more shame-reducing copy tactics, particularly around the topic of real estate investing, here’s a tip.

I write a daily email newsletter. Marketing, persuasion, copywriting, that kind of thing. If you’re interested, here’s where to sign up.

Marketing barter?

by

Trending on Twitter this morning:

“Fans are pointing out that actor Leonardo DiCaprio looks like Leonardo DiCaprio.”

I found this funny. The truth of course is more mundane. Apparently the New York Post said DiCaprio looked “unrecognizable in first photos of new Scorsese film.” Fans disagreed.

So I got to wondering:

Maybe clever headlines like this are standard for the Twitter “Trending” sidebar. What do I know?

All I have is a secret Twitter account, which I never use. (This morning I wound up on Twitter by following a link in an Axios newsletter.) This is in spite of hearing a lot hype for Twitter, both as a great place to get yer news and to connect with smart people. And maybe even to drum up business.

Fact is, I’ve got a bunch of marketing holes like this.

I’m not on Instagram… I only use Facebook to spy on different groups… I know little about PR… and I’ve never ever created or promoted a continuity program.

Which got me thinking about an idea:

I call it marketing barter.

Imagine your typical flea market. An empty parking lot, where you go with a little blanket and lay out what you’ve got for sale.

You then walk around, and you look at what others have for sale on their little blankets.

Maybe something catches your eye. “Hm. A vegan, American-made sleeping pill for dogs. Interesting.”

So you talk to the owner a bit. And you come up with ideas to help with his marketing. Maybe you promise to get him free publicity with a Reddit astroturfing campaign. Maybe you offer to set up and promote a funnel for autoship.

And then you ask if in exchange he would be willing to write the sales letter for your new “Power Aromatherapy For Life Coaches” course… or if not, what he would be willing to do for you in turn.

Finally, if you both agree, you exchange services.

It could be copywriting. It could be funnels. It could be stuff you’re an expert in… or it could be stuff you want to practice, but don’t have a product that’s suitable for (eg. you want to practice PR, but you don’t have a product that has wide-enough appeal or that can stand public scrutiny.)

I can hear Derek Zoolander asking:

But why barter?

Well, promoting your own stuff is hard for many people, myself included. (I started thinking about this marketing barter idea recently… after finally completing the sales letter for my bullets course. It took me almost two months to do.)

But it’s not just the futzing and fumbling that goes with promoting your own stuff.

There’s just a lot of value in having an outside opinion. We are all too close to what we sell. That’s one of the main reasons why hiring a marketing consultant or outside copywriter makes sense.

And I feel that this marketing barter idea could help with both of the above points. That’s why.

And there’s Zoolander butting in again:

But why barter? Why not just pay for marketing services if you need them?

I don’t have a great answer for that. That’s why I’m writing today’s email. I want to hear what you think, and if you have any advice for me about how I should pursue or develop this idea.

And if you’re curious how this idea progresses, or if you want another idea (or two) about marketing and copywriting, you might like to join my email newsletter (thank God, no Twitter).