Specificity

Jumbo PT Barnum writing tip from me to you

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Many people like to start off their emails with categories and abstractions. They say stuff like…

This past Thursday night, I hosted the weekly Write & Profit coaching call. Around 7:15pm Barcelona time, I was in the middle of copywriting feedback to a business owner, Jeff, on an email he wrote. His email started by saying:

“I have heard many stories of…”

Whoa there. That word many is a trigger. It triggered me to think of a passage from Joe Vitale’s book about P.T. Barnum, There’s A Customer Born Every Minute.

In chapter 8 of that book, Joe sums up 17 copywriting lessons to be drawn from Barnum’s massively effective advertising. Lesson #10 is “Say Jumbo.” Joe explains:

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Whenever you write something vague, such as, “they say,” or “later on,” or “many,” train yourself to stop and rewrite those phrases into something more concrete, such as “Mark Weisser said…” or “Saturday at noon” or “seven people agreed.” Don’t say “dog” when you can say “collie.” Don’t say “elephant” when you can say “Jumbo.” Don’t say you have a “midget” on display when you can have “General Tom Thumb.”

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In completely unrelated news, my promotion of Newsletter XP is nearing its climax.

Newsletter XP is an expensive and valuable course on how to build, grow, and monetize a successful newsletter. It’s put on by Alex Lieberman and Tyler Denk, the founders of Morning Brew and Beehiiv, respectively.

I’ve managed to claw out a $200 discount for you from the usual price that Newsletter XP sells for. That discount is good until tomorrow night, Monday Feb 26, at 12 midnight PST. If you’d like to take advantage of this, here’s what to do:

1. Go to the Newsletter XP sales page at https://bejakovic.com/nxp

2. If you decide you want to get Newsltter XP, then use coupon code JB20 at checkout.

3. Make sure the coupon code works — that you see the price drop by $200. This is not my funnel, and if you end up buying at full price, there’s nothing I can do about it.

Don’t write emails like this

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Do you start your emails with a question?

Do you try to identify with your reader, or get him to identify with you, by waffling on about his life, or worse, about the type of person you think he is?

Do you guess at your reader’s problems, but because you’re not really sure what those are, do you frame your guesses as questions to buy yourself some wiggle room?

If you’re anything like the several people I know who write vague and fluffy email copy that fails to draw readers in, it may be because you’re not saying anything hard and clear at the start of your email, and instead you engage in watery attempts at empathy.

Ok enough of that. Everything I’ve just done in the four sentences above — don’t do it. Especially at the start of your email.

Last night, I sat down and finally finished a batch of email copy critiques that had been lingering on my todo list.

There were lots of good ideas in each email.

But there was one recurring problem I saw. Maybe it was my fault, because I’ve been encouraging people to write about “symptoms” their audience is experiencing.

What I got instead was a cloud of throat clearing at the start, disguised as empathy copy.

The fact is, writing is not talking.

People will forgive a lot of when they look you in the face and hear your voice.

They will not forgive nearly as much when they are sitting alone on their couch with their phone in hand, with the TV on in front of them, with the next-door neighbor’s dog barking, with their own stomach growling. They won’t forgive:

– Abstraction that really doesn’t say much
– Aimless repetition
– A 2-3 min period to “warm up”
– Groping in the dark in the hope of finding something to say
– “Vibing”

Don’t do any of that. Especially at the start of your email.

Instead, say something hard and clear.

If you want examples of what hard and clear looks like, look inside my 10 Commandments book. Not among any of the actual A-list commandments. But in the way I start each chapter, which is really just an expanded email. As a reader named Tom wrote me:

I’ve been reading a lot of books around copywriting; but as a jumping off point, 10 Commandments was the best I’ve read so far.. So many good pointers on techniques to use and people to pay attention to.

But on a deeper level, your writing is exceptional. The first two books I started on were by Olgivy and Makepeace, but I was looking for something to bridge the gap in to the current era, as I couldn’t imagine myself ever actually engaging with their copy as a prospect.

I really appreciated how up-front, engaging, but still subtly very technical your style is. I’m planning to try to reverse engineer exactly what do, because I couldn’t put 10 Commandments down, and by the time your dropped the first CTA, there was no choice.

So…

Would you like to stop fluffing around? Are you sometimes stumped for a non-vague way to start your emails? Do you—

Ok, enough, once again.

For examples of hard and clear ways to start your message:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

Free info on free reports

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Copy Riddles member Andrew Townley takes advantage of the Copy Oracle privilege to ask:

I was listening to a Dan Kennedy program today that got me thinking about all those direct mail “free reports.” I was wondering if you had a source of any guidance on how to build one. I remember Parris describing the process somewhere on a podcast or something, but I can’t find it now.

The background, as you might know, is this:

A-list copywriters like Dan Kennedy and Parris Lampropoulos are experts at selling newsletters. Newsletters are a direct marketing staple because they are great for the publisher. Money comes in like clockwork, on your own schedule, without any added selling of your vague and broad and cheap-to-produce subscription offer.

For those same reasons, newsletters are a suspect deal for the subscriber. Many potential subscribers instinctively feel repulsed at the thought of paying good money, every month, for a “cat in the bag” piece of content, whether they are eager to consume it or not.

Enter free reports. Free reports are one effective strategy that guys like Dan and Parris use to overcome the resistance of skeptical newsletter buyers. The recipe is simple:

1. Go through your past content (newsletter or really anything else)
​
2. Find the sexiest stuff. It can either be a single bit of info, or a small number of related items you bundle together.

​3. Put that sexy stuff in its own little package.

​4. Give that package a sexy and mysterious new name.

​5. Repeat as many times as your stamina will allow. I believe one Boardroom promo offered 99 free reports along with a newsletter subscription.

When you think about it, this is really just the same work that a copywriter would do normally. Look at what he has to sell… figure out the sexiest parts of that… highlight it in the sales material, and of course, make it sound as sexy and as mysterious as possible.

And now for the pitch that probably won’t convince you:

I write a daily email newsletter about copywriting, marketing, and persuasion.

But like I said, that probably won’t convince you to sign up.

So let me take my own advice, and offer you a free report when you sign up:

“Become a Repositioning Specialist”

This report shows you how to start a profitable repositioning business, with your own home as headquarters. In case, you want this report, follow these steps:

  1. Click here and sign up to my free daily email newsletter
  2. When you get my welcome email, hit reply and tell me you want the free report

A $2,000 idea

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Yesterday, I met the owners of an apartment I am trying to rent in Barcelona. They are a married couple, very elegant and stylish, a few years older than me. We met at a cafe.

I sat down across from them and I leaned back in my chair. “So what do you have for me,” I said.

The husband smiled at me. “Would you like to drink a coffee first?”

I smirked, stared him in the eye, and said nothing.

“Oh okay,” he said, clearly browbeaten. “So you’ve had a chance to look at the apartment? You liked it?”

“The apartment is fine,” I said. “But let’s talk turkey. How much do you want for it?”

The man paused for a moment. He and his wife looked at each other in confusion.

“What do you mean?” the wife said. “The rent is right there on the listing.” And she repeated the number. It was a round figure, divisible by one hundred, ending in two zeros.

I laughed with contempt.

“A round figure?” I said, barely controlling myself. “You haven’t done one minute of work on this, have you? You just pulled that number out of your ear, without checking comparables and without putting in any effort to calculate a fair price. No! I don’t trust your round figure. And I don’t like being disrespected like this. I’m not interested in renting your apartment any more. Goodbye!”

I got up and left the cafe. The husband ran after me, begging me to reconsider, offering to make the price more specific and jagged. But it was too late.

In case this sounds like a slightly fantastical scenario… well, that’s because it is.

What actually happened yesterday was that I did meet the owners.

I smiled at them and I put on my best and most responsible face.

Using subtle sub-communication, I made it clear that if they let me rent their apartment, I would not adopt a pitbull… I would not host any drug-driven orgies… and I would not take up drumming as a new hobby.

After a few minutes of this renter mating dance, the owners were satisfied. They agreed to let me have their beautiful apartment, and I agreed to take it, at a perfectly round monthly rent, neatly ending in two zeros.

If you’re wondering why I’m telling you this, then, like my fantasy owners above, you clearly didn’t read my email yesterday.

That email was all about the power of specificity. Specifically, the power of specific numbers. Recently proven by some fancy scientific research, but suspected by smart marketers for decades and probably centuries.

Except…

There are times where your numbers don’t have to be specific.

My rent situation above was clearly one.

I accepted the nice and round price. Doing anything else would have been foolish, bordering on very foolish. The rental market in Barcelona is insane. There are only a few available apartments and thousands of hungry renters swooping down on each one.

But you might say, “Sure, you can get away with a round price sometimes. That doesn’t mean that a specific, jagged price wouldn’t work just as well or better.”

Maybe. Or maybe not.

There are situations where a round price is not only acceptable, but actually better. Where a round price sub-communicates high status, a lack of neediness, and a position of power.

Take for example the curious case of one Joe Sugarman. Joe was a multimillionaire marketer who created the BluBlocker sunglasses empire.

Joe sold each of his BluBlockers for $69.95.

But when Joe ran an ad to advertise his legendary copywriting and marketing seminar, he didn’t promise to reveal “7-figure funnel secrets,” or offer a *9.99 price.

​​Instead, Joe said, “Come study with me,” right in the headline. And then in the subhead, he told you how much it would cost, — $2,000, with three round zeroes at the end.

So take time and ponder on that. I’ll leave you today with a bit from Joe’s ad:

There are two types of successful people. Those that are successful and those that are super successful.

To be successful you must learn the rules, know them cold, and follow them. To be super successful, you must learn the rules, know them cold, and break them.

For more marketing ideas, some worth $9.99 and others worth $15,000, come and read my email newsletter. You can sign up for it here.

A sexual health riddle by the 499-pound gorilla of copywriting

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Today, I will share a super valuable copywriting commandment with you.

Tomorrow, I will tell you an equally valuable commandment, which is the exact opposite of what I’ll tell you today.

How is that gonna work? We will see. Let me set it up with a little riddle for you:

* Almost foolproof contraception: It’s over 99% effective but… so new… most people have never even heard about it!

So, can you guess what this “almost foolproof” method of contraception is?

If you’ve been through my Copy Riddles program, you should be able to answer easily.

​​In fact, you should be able to answer this riddle even when the neighbor’s car alarm jolts you awake at 3am… while you’re all sleepy and a little drooly… just lifting your head up for a moment and saying, “Yes of course that almost foolproof method of contraception is —” before you drop back down to the pillow and pass out again.

But maybe you haven’t been through Copy Riddles. In that case, answering this riddle might be a bit harder. So I’ll will give you a hint that might help.

A few years ago, the Harvard Business School blog published an article titled, “When Negotiating a Price, Never Bid with a Round Number.”

They cited a bunch of scientific studies, in-lab experiments, and statistical analyses.

And the conclusion was:

Better make your prices, and really all your published numbers, jagged, specific, and unround. That’s because people don’t trust or respect a round number much — they figure that little thought and work went into it, and the number is probably not accurate or not representative.

This is really an example of the incredible uselessness of science, if you ask me.

After all, this bit of scientific research came out a few years ago.

But how long have marketers and business owners known, pretty scientifically, to make their numbers not round? A long time. For example, take Gary Halbert, the 499-pound gorilla in the world of copywriting.

Gary is responsible for that sexual health bullet above. It was part of his sales letter to sell his “Killer Orgasms!” ebook.

I won’t tell you what Gary’s “almost foolproof contraception” method is. But knowing that Gary was a smart marketer, and combining it with that obvious and almost useless bit of HBS scientific news, will probably be enough to get you to Gary’s contraception method, or at least to get you close.

But maybe you really really need to know the answer.

​In that case, you can try to dig up a copy of Gary’s book. Or just wait for the next run of Copy Riddles, which will happen in June, and probably at some jagged, specific, not-round price.

Or maybe not?

Maybe the next price of Copy Riddles will end in a zero, or maybe even two zeros?

If you are curious how or why I would possibly want to make my price a nice, even, round number, after everything I’ve just told you, then read my email tomorrow. It will tell you the answer. You can sign up to get it here.

Factual vs. emotional

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As I so often do, this morning I sat down at my writing desk, took a sip of my coffee, lit my pipe, put on my eyepatch, and started re-reading, for the 114th time, David Ogilvy’s self-promotional ad, How to Create Advertising That Sells.

As you probably know, Ogilvy’s ad is a collection of 38 bits of wisdom that Ogilvy learned by creating “over $1,480,000 worth of advertising.” Number 23 on the list is this:

23. Factual vs. emotional. Factual commercials tend to be more effective than emotional commercials.

However, Ogilvy & Mather has made some emotional commercials which have been successful in the marketplace. Among these are our campaigns for Maxwell House Coffee and Hershey’s Milk Chocolate.

I don’t know about you, but it sounds to me like Mr. Ogilvy is saying, “Certainly, emotional ads have been known to work… but it takes a true expert, someone like me, to pull it off. Otherwise, best stick to facts, facts, facts, or your advertising will pass like a ship in the night.”

That goes against a lot of copywriting advice you hear today.

Today, the main advice for copywriters is to agitate, scare, excite, outrage. Pile on the power words. Don’t tell people facts. They don’t care. But stir their emotions and they will buy.

So what gives? Was Ogilvy just writing at a different time? Or do different rules apply you promote Hershey’s Milk Chocolate in Life Magazine than when you promote, say, ProstaStream supplements on Clickbank?

Well, I can tell you a little personal story.

The single piece of copy that has paid me the most money to date, per word written, was a 317-word email I wrote a couple years ago, in 2020. It was full of facts, to support the idea that using hand sanitizer won’t get your hands as clean as washing your hands with soap and water. We were selling “paper soap” — little dental-floss sized dispensers of one-time soap flakes. And thanks to that fact-filled email, we sold, literally, a ton of paper soap.

“Yeah,” I hear you say, “but that was a unique moment. There was a lot of fear around corona, and everybody was in the mindset to keep their hands clean or die. You were just tapping into that.”

You’re right. And in a way, that’s the point.

Facts alone are like pebbles by the side of the road.

They’re not very impressive. Not very threatening. Not very useful.

But take some of those facts, and put them inside your prospect’s shoe. Suddenly, you have him squirming, and twisting, and looking to get rid of that discomfort and pain. And not only that. You have him taking that discomfort and pain with him — unlike power words and emotions, which are like a cloud of smoke that disappears in a few moments.

The bigger point is that, ideally, all aspects of your copy, or anything else you write, should do double or triple duty. Facts are no different.

Sure, facts provide concreteness and believability. But choose the right facts, and you will stir emotions also. After all, who really cares that, at 60 miles an hour, the loudest thing in this Rolls Royce is the electric clock? There must be something else going on there.

And now here’s a fact:

Every day, over 1,050 people are signed up to get emails with little bits of marketing wisdom like what you just read. If you’d like to join them, click here and fill out the form.

Gary Halbert’s second best copywriting tip

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On January 7 of this year, carried on the wings of Twitter, Elon Musk became the richest person in the world.

That was good news for the folks at Agora, who could now run the following promo about Jeff Bezos:

“World’s second richest man’s NEW world-changing disruption”

I don’t know about you, but this sounds more intriguing to me than:

“World’s richest man’s NEW world-changing disruption”

And I guess Agora’s readers agree. After all, Agora keeps mailing this second richest thing, even though Bezos is actually back to being the richest person ever, as of February 16.

My point is this:

When it comes to copy, superlatives and extremes are great. But they can become unbelievable, or simply tired. If that’s happening in your market, it can make sense to go to the extreme… and then back off 1%. Just like Gary Halbert did with the following bullet:

* Almost foolproof contraception: It’s over 99% effective but… so new… most people have never even heard about it!

You might wonder what this new form of contraception is. That depends, like Bill Clinton said, on what the meaning of “is” is. But I will tell you this:

The secret Gary is talking about is actually 100% effective. (I found that out by following Gary’s top copywriting tip, which was to study bullets by comparing them to the source text.)

And yet, Gary decided to cut down the effectiveness of his promise. Why?

Because round numbers seem less specific, and therefore less convincing, than jagged numbers.

So if your number is round (like 100% contraceptive effectiveness… or the world’s richest man), then take Gary’s lead. Find creative ways to rough up your promise and make it more believable.

And if you want more second- and third-best copywriting tips:

Click here to sign up for my email newsletter.