Joe Vitale

Jumbo PT Barnum writing tip from me to you

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Many people like to start off their emails with categories and abstractions. They say stuff like…

This past Thursday night, I hosted the weekly Write & Profit coaching call. Around 7:15pm Barcelona time, I was in the middle of copywriting feedback to a business owner, Jeff, on an email he wrote. His email started by saying:

“I have heard many stories of…”

Whoa there. That word many is a trigger. It triggered me to think of a passage from Joe Vitale’s book about P.T. Barnum, There’s A Customer Born Every Minute.

In chapter 8 of that book, Joe sums up 17 copywriting lessons to be drawn from Barnum’s massively effective advertising. Lesson #10 is “Say Jumbo.” Joe explains:

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Whenever you write something vague, such as, “they say,” or “later on,” or “many,” train yourself to stop and rewrite those phrases into something more concrete, such as “Mark Weisser said…” or “Saturday at noon” or “seven people agreed.” Don’t say “dog” when you can say “collie.” Don’t say “elephant” when you can say “Jumbo.” Don’t say you have a “midget” on display when you can have “General Tom Thumb.”

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In completely unrelated news, my promotion of Newsletter XP is nearing its climax.

Newsletter XP is an expensive and valuable course on how to build, grow, and monetize a successful newsletter. It’s put on by Alex Lieberman and Tyler Denk, the founders of Morning Brew and Beehiiv, respectively.

I’ve managed to claw out a $200 discount for you from the usual price that Newsletter XP sells for. That discount is good until tomorrow night, Monday Feb 26, at 12 midnight PST. If you’d like to take advantage of this, here’s what to do:

1. Go to the Newsletter XP sales page at https://bejakovic.com/nxp

2. If you decide you want to get Newsltter XP, then use coupon code JB20 at checkout.

3. Make sure the coupon code works — that you see the price drop by $200. This is not my funnel, and if you end up buying at full price, there’s nothing I can do about it.

“Why don’t you ever whip me?”

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“Why don’t you ever whip me?” the colonel’s wife asked. She had already slept with the colonel’s entire brigade, but she was still eager for a little attention from the colonel himself.

“Because I’m busy,” the colonel snapped back.

That’s from Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. The colonel is busy because he is obsessed with putting on parades — parades that nobody watches, parades that the soldiers hate, parades that have no practical value.

Almost as little practical value as the time you waste, polishing and pondering a project that should have shipped in one-tenth the time.

Because, like sex, money loves speed.

I once tried to track down where this phrase comes from. I got as far back as copywriter Joe Vitale, but then the trail went cold.

I always assumed money loves speed because you get more time to keep working on other projects. More work, more money.

And I’m sure that can be a part of it.

But there can be a second part also.

And that’s that money, like sex, doesn’t like desperation.

And if you act busy, even if your other project is your own parade that nobody watches, money might come around and say, “Why don’t you ever pick me up?”

“Because I’m busy,” you can then snap back. “But we can schedule something for next Friday evening.”

Oh, and I once figured out a third way in which money loves speed. It’s something practical I heard in a conversation between marketers Rich Schefren and Kim Walsh Phillips. If you’d like to hear it also:

https://bejakovic.com/the-aggressive-other-meaning-of-money-loves-speed/

Money don’t love Spruce Goose

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On a beautiful day exactly 72 years ago, Howard Hughes put down the telephone and took hold of the controls.

He was piloting the largest flying boat ever built.

I’m talking about the Hughes H-4 Hercules, aka the Spruce Goose.

In spite of the nickname, The Goose was mostly birch. That didn’t stop it from being enormously expensive for the time, and with good reason. As Hughes put it:

“It is over five stories tall with a wingspan longer than a football field. That’s more than a city block. Now, I put the sweat of my life into this thing. I have my reputation all rolled up in it and I have stated several times that if it’s a failure, I’ll probably leave this country and never come back. And I mean it.”

Well, I guess Hughes didn’t mean it all that seriously. Because he didn’t leave the country, even though, by all practical measures, the Goose turned out to be a failure.

After all, once Hughes lifted The Goose above the sparkling waters off Long Beach, CA, it flew for less than a minute, for less than a mile.

That was its one and only flight.

And even this one lousy flight came well after the end of World War II, even though The Goose was designed to be a war transport plane, and even though the whole point of building The Goose out of spruce (or birch) was the wartime restriction on materials such as aluminum.

So yeah, the Spruce Goose remains a great illustration of a massive, optimistic, and very impractical and useless project.

The point being, don’t be like Howard Hughes.

Because money don’t love Spruce Goose.

Money loves speed.

(I’ve tried to track down who coined that saying, but I don’t have a definitive answer. The farthest back I’ve been able to go is to direct marketer Joe Vitale, who is mentioned in Mark Ford’s Ready Fire Aim as promoting the idea that fast is more profitable than perfect.)

Of course, I’m not saying to cut corners and be sloppy in your work.

​​But if you put the sweat of your life into one project, and roll up your whole reputation into one thing, odds are you’ll wind up with a multi-million dollar goose on your hands. And the bitch won’t even fly.

She-Wolwerine is alive and well — in Scotland

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Jo Cameron, a 71-year-old woman from Scotland, can claim to be the female version of the X-Man Wolverine.

And just in case you think I’m pulling your adamantium leg, consider the following:

For starters, grandma Cameron feels no pain.

In fact, there were times when she smelled the sizzling of her own flesh before noticing she had put her hand on the burning stove.

The weird thing is that people who don’t feel pain typically don’t live very long — their unfelt injuries pile up and kill them before they get to their 30’s.

Not so for X-Cameron.

That’s because she also seems to have a superior healing ability. Her mauled and scorched flesh heals quickly, usually without a scar. That’s how she could reach age 71, in spite of constantly taking stove damage.

On top of this, the woman never feels any fear, anxiety, or depression. She even has several unique genetic mutations that scientists have never seen before.

And here’s the crazy thing. ​​It turns out this She-Wolverine didn’t even realize she had any superpowers until a few months ago. She thought she wasn’t unique in any way.

And that ties into the plot of today’s issue of my daily email serial:

You too might have resources that you don’t appreciate.

​​Here’s another example to get you thinking:

Some 20 years ago, pioneering Internet marketer Joe Vitale had an email list of around 800 names. Up till then, he hadn’t done anything with this list.

But at some point, Joe got a hankerin’ to buy a BMW Z3.

And he set his mind on paying the $40,000 price tag by hustling up new money, instead of tapping into savings.

So he looked over his assets…

And he noticed the unused email list.

And he decided to create an online course, delivered entirely through email, which he would pitch hard to this list.

The price of the course?

$1,500.

Long story short, 20-odd people bought Joe’s email-only course. He got his Z3. And it was all financed by an otherwise inactive list.

Now, you might not have an unused email list sitting around.

But you probably have at least some other resources — whether it’s real-life connections, a Facebook audience, or skills that you can trade and barter.

And if you do create some kind of an offer, and you need ideas on how to promote it successfully to an email list, then young mutant, head over to the following page:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/