Fascist copywriting philosophy

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“The University of Chicago Writing Program is not real popular in the world of writing programs. And you can see why. A lot of people think we’re fascists. I don’t dispute it.”

Thanks to a reader named Lester, I got turned on to a YouTube video by Larry McEnerney. McEnerney heads the University of Chicago’s Writing Program. In the YouTube video, he persuades you to follow his fascist writing philosophy. In a nutshell:

“We say, identify the people with power in your community… and give them what they want.”

If you’re a marketer or copywriter, you might say, “Come on… I knew that already. Just swap out ‘people with power’ and put in ‘people with money.'”

Sure, you might know it. But do you really, really get it? And do you practice it?

For example, a few days ago I sent out an email about wizard positioning. I concluded that email by saying:

“Give your clients clear guidance. Take away their doubts before they even have them. Resist your urge to explain yourself.”

It seems nobody had any issue with the first two parts of that advice. But quite a few people took issue with the last piece.

“Not explain myself! But the world needs to know!”

To which I can tell you something from McEnerney’s video:

“You participate in the world, not by sharing your feelings or your thoughts… but by changing other people’s thoughts.”

Again, this might be obvious if you are a copywriter. But if it’s not obvious, or there’s some part of you that keeps nagging you to explain and express yourself, then it might be helpful to watch this video.

Not only because it gives you practical advice on how to write better so you persuade more people…

But also because it might give you some insight about where this urge to explain yourself comes from. Here’s a hint: it ain’t coming from inside you. Not originally. If you’d like to find out the truth, and maybe even profit from it, here’s the video:

A critical look at Daniel Throssell

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A few questions for you:

How would you like to triple the size of your email list… while doubling (yes, doubling) your open rates?

How would you like new prospects who are so grateful for your non-stop marketing… that they write in daily to thank you?

How would you like to have people buying your products in unseen numbers… even before you make any effort to advertise those products?

You might this is a pipe dream. But this dream is real. And attainable. In fact, here’s one way to do it:

Get Daniel Throssell to promote you.

Before you throw up your hands in frustration, hear me out. There might be some profit in it for you.

As you might know, Daniel Throssell is a copywriter with a popular email newsletter. A few weeks ago, he and I did an “email swap.”

I wrote an email in this newsletter to promote Daniel’s list. I said Daniel’s writing is funny and entertaining. That’s what I could see on the surface.

But then a wave of people hit my site, following the email Daniel sent to his own audience about me. And I realized something deeper is going on, under the surface. It’s best summed up by a new reader who wrote me to say:

“I’m here because Daniel Throssell recommended you in his emails, and I’m about 50 emails deep into his list and will pretty much do anything he tells me to do at this point 😂”

When Daniel and I first discussed the email swap, he said he could get 10% of his entire email list to click through to my site.

I didn’t say so at the time, but I thought that was nonsense. I know how my own smaller list responds. Even if I’m selling free money, 10% won’t click through reliably. Plus I’ve managed much bigger lists for clients, and I know response only goes down with size.

And yet, I was wrong. Daniel did what he said he would do. Even more than that, in fact.

It wasn’t just idle clicks either.

Like I mentioned above, Daniel’s readers rooted through my site. They found an offer I hadn’t even made public (my Copy Riddles September launch). Some bought it right then and there. Many others bought it over the coming days — many more, in fact, than people who had been reading my newsletter for months or years.

By the end, I got literally hundreds of messages from new and engaged readers and customers. They told me how Daniel sent them and how they are sure they will like my stuff also. And my open rates, if those mean anything any more, are now double what they were before.

You might think I’m writing this as a way of saying thanks to Daniel. That’s not what this is about.

I’m writing this because I want to share something valuable with you. Because I’ve seen first hand the engagement that Daniel’s emails command.

You probably haven’t had a chance to experience that first hand. Instead, you’ve probably only seen Daniel’s online persona. Like a friend of mine who wrote me a few days ag to say, “I just unsubscribed from Throssell’s list. He was starting to annoy me.”

That’s a shame. Because this past Sunday, I promised you a resource. One that shows you how to create a responsive list beyond anything I’ve ever seen.

Well, I was talking about Daniel Throssell and his emails.

Whether you like Daniel’s online persona or not… my advice is to think twice, and look beyond the surface. It’s what I’m doing.

I’m reading each of Daniel’s emails and looking at them critically. Beyond the entertainment. I’m trying to read between the lines, and see what he’s doing. And I’m thinking about ways I could apply it to my own marketing. It’s already bearing fruit.

I suggest the same to you.
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Because odds are, you won’t get Daniel Throssell to write an email promoting you.

But if you do what I’m suggesting, and you look critically at what he’s doing… and you model it yourself… then the pipe dream I described above — including engagement and sales — is still attainable to you.

​​And if by chance you’re reading this… but you’re not signed up to Daniel’s list… then here’s where to go:

https://persuasivepage.com/

I’m good enough… I’m smart enough… and doggone it—

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I used to watch a lot of Saturday Night Live back in the 1990s. There was an ongoing skit with Phil Hartman playing Stuart Smalley, ​a sappy man with a lisp and a non-Duchenne smile.

Stuart is working on improving his self-image. So in each skit, he looks at himself in the mirror, smiles his fake smile, and repeats:

“I’m good enough… I’m smart enough… and doggone it, people like me.”

This was funny in the 90s. I guess this affirmation stuff was in the water back then.

It might be less funny today because today’s water contains a lower ppm of affirmations. In part, that’s due to party-pooping scientists like Joanne Wood from the University of Waterloo.

​​Back in 2009, Prof. Wood took a bunch of undergrads and had them repeat affirmations.

“I’m good enough… I’m smart enough… and doggone it, people like me.”

This had a positive effect — on people who were already pretty happy with themselves.

​​But with people who had low self-esteem to start with, it had negative effect. It made them conclude the opposite and feel worse.

“I’m defective somehow… I’m too stupid… and doggone it, nobody likes me.”

My point for you is to be careful if you are a naturally gung-ho marketer, making empowering claims at your prospects.

“You’re amazing! You can do it! It’s not your fault you failed until now!”

If you resort to claims like this, you might have the intended effect on the people in your market who were born yesterday… and who haven’t yet learned to doubt themselves.

For the rest of ’em, the ones who have become disillusioned with both the offers in your market and with themselves, you’ll need another approach. You’ll need to raise your prospects’ self-esteem so they believe they are unique… smart enough… and competent enough to succeed.

How can you do this?

​​Well, I’ll write more about that down the line (you can get it in my newsletter if you like). For now, let me reveal the obvious secret that self-esteem rises not because you say so… but indirectly, because you make people feel it inside them, without any affirmations.

Prancing Pony wizard characteristic

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In the opening six hours of the Lord of the Rings, the wizard Gandalf finally realizes what those hobbits have in their house.

It’s the One Ring… the focus of all evil in the world. And right now, nine grim and bloody ghost riders are galloping to collect it.

So Gandalf rushes to Frodo the hobbit’s house. He tells Frodo to get himself and the ring out of there now.

Frodo is bewildered. “But where shall I go?”

“Go to the village of Bree,” Gandalf tells him. “I will meet you… at the Inn of the Prancing Pony.”

I recently wrote about Dan Kennedy’s main practical idea for wealth attraction. “Be the wizard, and beware other wizards.”

I’m a literal type so I started watching the LOTR to see what exactly it means to be a wizard in the popular mind. The above scene caught my eye.

Because Gandalf doesn’t say, “Where shall you go? Gee, I don’t know, Frodo… what do you think is best?”

Gandalf also doesn’t say, “Head to Bree. There must be some inns there. Book a room in one of them. I think they use the same money as here. I will try to find you sooner or later.”

Gandalf doesn’t even say, “Go to the Inn of the Prancing Pony in Bree. Because it’s not too far from here… and it’s on the way to where the ring needs to go anyhow… plus they make this really wonderful mutton sandwich, I think you will love it.”

Nope. Instead Gandalf gives clear, certain, and yet cryptic guidance.

Clear. Because if people are paying the wizard big bucks, they want to be told exactly what to do.

Certain. Because there’s nothing worse than doubt. Doubt is not a burden many people are willing to carry — and that’s why they seek out the wizard.

And cryptic. Why the Inn of the Prancing Pony… and not next door, at the Inn of the Gamboling Goat? We’ll never know. Gandalf gives us no fumbling explanation. Which allows us to think there must be a good reason… even if we are not privy to it. He’s the wizard, after all.

Of course, LOTR is a movie.

Plus I don’t think Dan Kennedy is as literal-minded as I am. I don’t think he was really talking about putting on a grey pointed hat… or trying to impress clients by growing out your beard and eyebrows.

Still, there is something in the unconscious mind that responds to wizard cues like in the scene above. And often, these cues pop up most clearly in pop culture like LOTR.

So if you work with clients, here’s where to go:

Give your clients clear guidance. Take away their doubts before they even have them. Resist your urge to explain yourself. And when you finish… I will meet you… at the Inn of the Wealthy Wombat.

G is for Gavin mauled by a wild cat

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Once upon a time, there lived a human being named Gavin.

One day, Gavin was walking through the jungle. Suddenly he froze. His eyes got wide. His mouth hung open. Blood drained out of his face.

What was that in the bushes ahead? It looked like a tiger’s shifting green eyes.

But a moment later, Gavin relaxed. He realized what he was seeing. It was just berries, hanging from a branch.

A bit later, it happened again. Gavin stopped mid-step. He thought he saw tiger eyes in the shadows. But his own eyes and his brain were better adapted this time. It was more fruit. He chuckled at himself and kept walking.

And a few moments later, it happened yet again. Gavin thought he saw a tiger’s eyes in the bushes. But this time he just shook his head and didn’t even slow down. He walked right up to the bush where the tiger was hiding. Gavin died, age 13, victim of a tiger mauling, never having sired any children.

Today, I want to give you a design and branding and maybe copywriting tip.

It’s based on idea I got from cognitive scientist Donald Hoffman. Hoffman says our brains and eyes quickly get used to most stimuli. That’s why I often stand for ages in front of the fridge, trying to find the olive jar I know must be in there… which turns out to be right on the shelf in front of me, in full view.

This is a feature, not a bug. It makes no sense to keep noticing familiar things. Except…

There are some things we never get habituated to.

One of these is animals. Or even animal bits are enough.

An eye. A tail. A tooth.

Hoffman says our brains never get fully habituated to these stimuli. Well, in general that’s true. There were people like Gavin whose eyes and brains did get habituated to seeing animal bits… and we never heard from these people again.

So that’s the design and branding tip Hoffman gives.

If you want to design packaging or create a logo for your brand, find a subtle way to trick the eye. Make it think it might be seeing an animal hiding on the shelf or inside the computer screen.

However many times people see your design or you logo, they will notice it, yet again.

Because animals are hard-wired into our biology. And so are people. Which is my copywriting tip for you for today.

If you have something important — but abstract — to teach people, make sure you wrap it up in a person. For example, here’s how Edward Gorey helped kids learn their ABCs — and how you can too:

A is for Amy who fell down the stairs
B is for Basil assaulted by bears
C is for Clara who wasted away
D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh
E is for Ernest who choked on a peach
F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech
…

Want more marketing ABCs, wrapped up in a person-sandwich? Then hold back your habituation to being pitched, and follow my lead here.

Jeffrey Epstein just wanted to feel okay

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Whatever happened to talk of Jeffrey Epstein?

It seemed that in the second half of 2019, any online discussion could suddenly melt down into the phrase, “Epstein didn’t kill himself.” And the next thing you know…

… we have a pandemic on our hands, and nobody remembers Epstein any more.

I’m not trying to sell you yet another conspiracy theory. I just want to bring up an article I read back in 2019, during the height of Epstein fever.

The article appeared in the sometimes thoughtful, often merely provocative Taki Mag. And it features the following thought:

“My guess about the late Mr. Epstein’s taste for orgies is that it was only partially sexual in origin. After all, a man in his situation could have paid for any amount of sex, of any kind, in private. What he really enjoyed (I surmise) is corrupting others — and not just others, but prominent and powerful others. He enjoyed being, or playing, Mephistopheles, quite apart from any sexual gratification he may have had on the way.”

The article goes on to say that Epstein came from a modest background. He then made a lot of money through whatever means.

But this didn’t soothe his sense of inferiority among other rich and powerful people. Rather, it inflamed it. And the only way Epstein could finally feel better… is by making others act worse.

In other words, Jeffrey Epstein just wanted to feel okay, in the sense that negotiation coach Jim Camp used that word.

I guess we will never know whether that was really so.

But it sounds plausible to me. Because most of us are not really motivated by money… sex… or A-list copywriting chops. Instead we are motivated by something deeper, less rational, and more primal.

Like what exactly?

Like wanting to feel okay, for example. Feeling okay is one of these primal desires. But it’s not the only one.

And if you keep your antenna out, you might soon spot some others. Or if you want a shortcut… well, there’s a short video out there on YouTube that talks about this in more detail. I was reminded of it a few days ago.

If you ask me, this video is the minute-for-minute champion when it comes to advanced and subtle copywriting ideas. I shared the link to this video with my email newsletter subscribers. If you’d like to sign up for that, so you can feel okay and so you don’t miss out on future copywriting shortcuts, then click here and fill out the form.

Tending the penguins

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On September 27, 1914, Sir Ernest Shackleton set off on a daring, last-of-its-kind conquering of Antarctica.

But his ship got stuck in ice. The popular explorer and his intrepid men faced the prospect of a cold, slow, lonely death. They cabled a desperate plea back to England, asking for help.

Their message made it up to the First Lord of the Admiralty, a guy by the name of Winston Churchill. Churchill was in the middle of dealing with what would later be called World War I. And he wrote in response:

“When all the sick and wounded have been tended, when all their impoverished & broken hearted homes have been restored, when every hospital is gorged with money, & every charitable subscription is closed, then & not till then wd. I concern myself with these penguins.”

Yesterday I promised to share with you one final great lesson I learned from Ben Settle. So let me get right to it:

Have standards for your business, and stick to ’em.

Like Churchill above, do the things you say matter to you. And leave the tending of the penguins for only after, if ever.

“That’s your great lesson?” you say.

Yeah. Hear me out.

I don’t know why having standards and sticking to them works so well. Maybe there’s some magic in it, and if you do it, the universe gives you more of what you focus on.

Or maybe it’s less magical. Maybe it’s just that we all secretly like strongmen. Maybe we are still kids in adult bodies. And whenever somebody assumes the right to start setting rules and boundaries… we start looking to them as an authority to be obeyed and respected.

Whatever the case, I believe that having your own standards and sticking to ’em – whether for yourself… your offers… your marketing… your business partners… your business practices… and yes, even for your customers — is the way to not only become successful… but to become successful on your own terms.

It’s how Ben was able to defy industry norms and not only survive but thrive. It’s how he could send multiple ugly-looking emails a day… offer no refunds… charge hundreds of dollars for a paperback book… while living his “10 minute workday” and making something close to $1 million a year, working by himself.

And a similar opportunity is there for you, too. You can also create a successful business that suits exactly you, if you take it upon yourself to turn the penguins away. Even if they are cold, hungry, desperate, intrepid, and popular. And even if the decision to do so might not win you any friends or make you any money in the short term.

But before you start rubbing your hands together, let me make clear that standards are not the only thing you need to succeed.

You can sit in your darkened room, having standards and sticking to them until you’re blue in the face.

Nobody will care.

You still need the fundamentals. Like attractive offers. And good copy. And a responsive list. Mix those fundamentals with some strict standards, and then you get the success you want, how you want it.

What’s that? You want some more? Well here’s one final point:

You probably know plenty of good resources to teach you the first two fundamentals above. And you might even know a good resource to teach you the last.

But I’d like to tell you about a resource which shows you how to create a responsive list beyond anything I’ve ever seen. I became aware of this resource only recently, and completely unexpectedly. And I’ll share it in an email to my newsletter next week. If you’d like to read that when it comes out, you can sign up here.

Husbands are like fires

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Today I want to tell you how to keep people reading your stuff—

Even if they know better… even if they think they get no value from what you are saying… and even if they can’t explain to themselves why they keep tuning in to your self-serving, borderline obnoxious sales talk.

It’s a very simple trick.

But used subtly, without trying too hard, it’s very powerful.

In fact, it’s so powerful it can get people actually hooked on you. Let me illustrate what I mean, with this quote from sex bomb Zsa Zsa Gabor, who was married nine times, and who should know:

“Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.”

So the copywriting trick I have in mind is to surprise people. You can do it like Zsa Zsa with a bit of humor and misdirection. You can do it with an unusual phrase of turn. Or you might even be able to do it with a well-chosen fact. Such as the following:

Nothing kills surprise as quickly as going back to the same well, day after day.

So whatever you do to light up your reader’s brain and fill it with dopamine… don’t let your technique become predictable, and don’t let it become a crutch.

But let me take my own advice. Because this surprise stuff is another great idea I’ve learned from Ben Settle.

In the early days, Ben kept me reading his emails, in spite of my better instincts. He kept me reading, not just through shock in the subject line. Not just through challenging industry norms. But through tiny surprises he hid away and mixed into his copy.

But since this is #3 in my recent list of Ben Settle ideas that I want to remind myself and you of… I’m getting dangerously close to being predictable.

So I’ll wrap up this mini-series tomorrow. And I’ll tell you the most valuable and perhaps easiest-to-implement lesson from Ben Settle I’ve learned to date. If you want to read that when it comes out, sign up for my email newsletter here.

The king’s evil

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“‘Tis called the ‘evil:’
A most miraculous work in this good king;
Which often, since my here-remain in England,
I have seen him do.”

For centuries, English and French kings used to claim they had a divine gift. They had the “king’s touch,” which could heal disease on contact.

Mostly, these monarchs specialized in healing one disease — a nasty condition called scrofula. This was a tumor-like lump on the neck, along with ruptured skin there.

Scrofula even became known as the “king’s evil.” If you had the evil, you could push your way towards the king… get touched… and with almost miraculous certainty, be healed. In this way, the “king’s touch” gave the monarchs a special authority and position, separate from the money and power they controlled.

“Yeah yeah,” I hear you saying. “Enough with the history lesson. Tell me how I can make money.”

All right. So continuing with my recent series, here’s a great way to make money, one I first heard from Ben Settle:

Charge premium prices. $97/month for a 16-page print newsletter… $499/month for access to an insiders’ community… $986 for a paperback book.

There are good practical reasons for this premium price strategy. Ben explains it by saying he’d rather have four quarters than 100 pennies.

Sure, both might add up to $1.

But it takes a lot less work to pick up four quarters than a hundred pennies… plus the quarters are likely to have changed hands less often and therefore be cleaner… plus they are easier to carry than a clunky jar full of copper.

So there’s that.

But there’s another, more powerful reason to charge premium prices.

It goes back to the king’s touch… and the king’s evil. Because scrofula rarely resulted in death, and it usually disappeared on its own. That was the explanation for the kings’ divine gift.

And in a similar way, along with a few other things Ben does, premium prices select a special part of your market.

They select the part that was most likely to succeed anyhow. That was most likely to succeed with your guidance… or with somebody else’s guidance… or without guidance at all, just with some extra time.

And just to be clear — I’m not trying to take away anything from the stuff Ben teaches. There are many profitable ideas inside his paid products. Many I’ve personally used and made money from.

But if you take the extra step, like Ben does, to get those ideas into the hands of people who will most likely succeed, sooner or later, one way or another… well, once they do succeed, you can credibly claim to have the divine gift. The king’s touch. A special authority and positioning, separate from your marketing or the quality of products you sell.

But you say you want more scrofulous business and marketing ideas.

Well I’m not surprised. But I am quite sleepy. So if you do want more, sign up to my email newsletter, and I’ll have a new marketing idea ready for you tomorrow.

Burning down the temple

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On July 21, 356 BC, a Greek man by the name of Herostratus set fire to the Temple of Artemis in Ephesus.

The temple, which was one of the 7 Wonders of the Ancient World, burned to the ground.

Herostratus was captured. Under torture, he admitted that he had set fire to the temple in an attempt to immortalize his name. The torturing continued. Herostratus died. And he didn’t just lose his life.

His name. The thing he had cared more for than his own body. It was at risk of oblivion.

Because the rulers of Ephesus passed a “Damnatio memoriae” law. They wanted to erase all memory of Herostratus’s name, and discourage others from following his example. The punishment for breaking the law was death.

But it didn’t work. You can’t keep a good arsonist down.

And so today, 25 centuries later, we still know of Herostratus and what he did. Had he never burned down the temple, he might have lived a more pleasant and natural life. But who would ever know him, or that he had lived?

Yesterday I promised to tell you about a few great ideas I’ve learned from Ben Settle. Well here’s one:

Go inside the temple. Walk up to the altar. And start a fire.

You know, I’m not really being literal when I say that. I’m just telling you to identify the sacred precepts in your industry… turn them upside on their head… and burn them down. A few examples from Ben’s emails:

* Why the customer is always wrong

* If someone asks you about your refund guarantee, don’t waste time answering. Simply delete them from your list

* Insanity is NOT doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results

Back in the days before I was fully sucked into Ben’s world, it was these kinds of statements that drew me in. Shock, controversy, dissonance.

If you burn down the temple, then like Ben Settle or Herostratus, you will be hated by many people. And you may come into conflict with established authorities. But your name will be known.

Do I hear you crying out?

“Waaah! But I don’t want to be no-no-notorius!”

Sigh. All right. So let me spell it out, in case you’re not ready to burn anything down yet.

The point, as Rich Schefren likes to say, is that different is better than better.

People have a hard time figuring out who’s really good… and who’s just ok good… and who’s not very good at all. But they have an easy time recognizing who’s different.

​​And that’s all you need to get attention. You don’t have to burn the temple down. You just have to be different. You have to be the Australia to somebody’s Bolivia — which might not make sense to you, unless you read my post yesterday.

But wait. If you thought you were off the hook, and that you wouldn’t have to court controversy and infamy… there’s more.

Because there are other reasons to burn the temple down, which go beyond simply getting attention.

Burning down the temple can be at the core of your business.

It can allow you to have long-term success that nobody else is having… regardless of how much cheap attention you or they are getting.

Do you see what I mean yet? You probably do. But I have a few more of these great ideas I got from Ben Settle in mind. And if you like, I might share this particular one in a future email. If you’d like to read then when it comes out, sing up for my newsletter here.