Charging money for common human courtesy

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One day last week, I got an enthusiastic email from a guy in the UK.

He’d seen my presentation on what I call horror advertorials. He loved the idea. And he was trying to build something similar for the brand he’s working for.

Would I be willing to review what he had done and give pointers?

I wrote back to say I could do it as a consulting gig.

I got an email in response with a sad face emoji. “No worries – sure that may be interesting – how much would you charge?”

I wrote back with a price that would make it worth my while. More than the cost of a Starbucks Creme Frappuccino… but a drop in the bucket for anyone planning to run cold traffic to an advertorial and have it make money.

But I never heard back.

I don’t know why. It might have to do with the price I sent back. Or it might have nothing to do with it. But if that really turned this guy away, it got me wondering… what might he have been looking for really?

Perhaps a pat on the back. “Wow you really got this. Good job!”

Or perhaps a miracle band-aid. “If you add in the word ‘amazing’ in your headline here, it will increase conversions by 30%.”

But there’s one thing I doubt he would have wanted.

Serious critical feedback. Advice to throw out big chunks of stuff he had spent time and effort on. Advice to do significant extra work in order to have a real chance at success.

So here’s what I’m getting at. I say it for your benefit as much as my own.

In my history of offering free advice, I don’t remember the last time it turned into anything. Anything, that is, other than meetings, excuses, and requests for more free advice.

That’s why these days, I keep the following words from Dan Kennedy on a little slip of paper under my pillow while I sleep:

“Get paid. Do nothing free. Especially dispense advice. There is nothing more futile on Earth than giving anybody free advice. At best, they don’t appreciate it. At worst, they resent it.”

Maybe you don’t appreciate that either.

But maybe you get it. Maybe you just feel hesitant about making the transition… about putting your foot down and charging for things that seem to be common human courtesy… or worse, charging for things that everybody else seems to be giving away for free.

All I can tell you is, I’ve been there.

It’s taken me time and mental effort to make the transition myself. I have advice on how you might do it too. And when I do write it up one day — well, I bet you can guess. I’ll take my own advice. But if that don’t turn you away, and you want to know when I put this advice out, then here’s the first step to make sure you get it.

A-list Copywriting Commandment no. 8, in D-minor

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“She was shocked because she was expecting us to play another concerto. So when I started the first bar of the D-minor concerto, she kind of jumped and panicked like an electric shock. And she couldn’t even consider moving ahead with playing.”

If you would like to see what real despair looks like, go on YouTube and search for “Maria Joao Pires wrong concerto.”

Pires is a concert pianist. She went on stage once, in front of a large live audience.

As soon as the orchestra started playing, Pires realized she had prepared the wrong piece. The orchestra was playing something other than what she had been rehearsing.

Result?

Panic. Sickness. Despair. I mean, imagine the situation.

You’re in front of a live audience.

The orchestra is mercilessly pushing on.

A few moments more, and it will be your turn to start playing as the star of the evening. Except you are completely unprepared and unable to perform.

And the time before everybody realizes it is three… two… one…

I’m not 100% sure why I decided to tell you this particular story. But in my mind, it tied into a question I got a few days ago from a reader named Randy:

How long did it take you to start writing daily emails like Ben Settle suggests and to always have something interesting to say?

(I’m asking you this since I’ve been trying my hand at writing daily emails. But even when I always come up with stories to tell, I find it difficult is to always have a lesson to add at the end)

My advice to Randy, and to you in case you want it, is to keep two lists.

One is where good ideas go.

Another is where fun/sickening stories go.

And rather than having a good story (“concert pianist realizes she prepared the wrong piece”), and then trying to pull out of your head a moral to that story…

… or rather than having a good idea to share (such as “keep two lists”) and then trying to pull out of your head a fun way to illustrate that idea…

… use your lists.

Because not everybody has a memory like Maria Joao Pires. In those 30 seconds from the icy and disgusting realization that she had prepared the entirely wrong piece… Pires managed to summon the right concerto from the depths of her mind. She played the whole thing flawlessly.

I am not that talented. And perhaps you aren’t either. No matter.

You can use paper — or a computer file — to outsource your memory. And your creativity too. Go down your lists, and come up with connections that you couldn’t make if’n you just relied on your raw brainpower.

“But two lists!” I hear you saying. “That’s twice the work of one list!”

True. And it goes back to something A-list copywriter Jim Rutz said:

“You must surprise the reader at the outset and at every turn of the copy. This takes time and toil.”

This simple idea has been super valuable to me. It’s one of the main standards I keep for these emails I send you each day. And also for copy that I write for clients.

In fact, I would like to say this one idea is the most important thing to what I do… but there’s no “one thing.” So I put this Jim Rutz idea as no. 8 in my 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters.

If by chance you haven’t seen this book yet… and you want to know what the other 9 commandments are… here’s where you can get the whole desperate and surprising lot:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

Skipper trump card test

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“I was walking on the dock. Alan was walking towards me. There was a girl in between us, maybe around 15, walking towards him and away from me.

“All of a sudden, the girl seemed to lie down. She hit the stern line, rolled around it, and fell into the water.

“I didn’t understand what was going on. But I saw Alan take off his shirt and throw his cell phone on the ground and dive in after her.

“The girl was sinking. He pulled her up to the surface and I pulled her back out on the dock.

“The girl had had an epileptic seizure. Since she was walking towards Alan, he saw her and realized what was going on in time. She would have drowned in a few moments more.”

A few nights ago, I found myself in the company of a bunch of sailboat skippers.

At first, it was like they were speaking a different language. But after a while, in between the industry jargon and the inside jokes and the unfamiliar names, I slowly began to grasp what was going on.

They were playing a game. Like a card game, but with stories.

One skipper would tell a story — for example, a terrible experience working for a charter company. Then somebody would tell another story on the same topic.

“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” was the implied criterion.

Eventually, one of the skippers would pull out the trump card — a story so good that nobody else could top it.

There would be a few moments of quiet appreciation. That skipper had won the round, and his standing in the group seemed to rise a bit.

Then a new round would start, with another topic. (The story above of the girl and the seizure was part of the “near-death experiences” round. It wasn’t the trump card, it turned out.)

Of course, skippers are not unique in playing this game. I was an outsider in this group, so it was easy to see what was going on. But we all do this, all the time.

Stories, jokes, explanations… they are social currency.

They help you play the game. Maybe even win a round. Get a few moments of appreciation… and have your standing rise a bit.

So in case you’re wondering where this is all going, let me give you some industry jargon and maybe a familiar name.

If you want free traffic, then this same process can work in your favor.

From what I can tell, all you have to do is put something new out there… and make sure it’s big enough to beat the cards that came before it.

As an example, take Rich Schefren in the Internet marketing space. That space is full of outsized claims — “How an Oklahoma farm boy cracked the online code to earn $1,123,234.23 in 0.1221 minutes.”

Eventually, no such claim becomes any bigger than any of the others.

So Rich created a new story, which could beat all the cards that had been thrown down on the table till then. “You are an opportunity seeker,” Rich said, “and you will never get where you want to go by continuing on that path.”

Result?

Millions of downloads of Rich’s Internet Business Manifesto. Not through ad spend. Not through SEO. Not through the manual labor of going on stage to speak the gospel. But entirely through the efforts of other people, playing a game like I described above.

This is not how-to advice. You can’t take this and use it to come up with an idea that will get shared.

But it is a test you can apply to an idea you’ve already got.

Maybe your idea doesn’t pass the skipper trump card test. It can still be successful. You’ll just have to push it out into the world, and you might have to spend money on ads.

But if you don’t like pushing, or you got no money for ads, then you can come up with more ideas. And more. Until you find one that does pass the skipper trump card test. Because…

You want to give your market value?

This is value. Not how-to advice. But social currency they can use to benefit themselves… and indirectly, to benefit you also. After all, you’re the house. And the house always wins.

By the way, I’ve got casino. Wonderful games, free to play. Bring your friends Would you like to join for a few rounds? Here’s the secret door in.

More real than real

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One by one, the desperate warriors in the besieged city looked up. And they started shouting for joy. There was hope!

On the peaks around them, the bonfire beacons were burning.

The signal was clear.

After centuries of competition and distrust, two ancient and proud kingdoms were finally uniting against a common foe.

There was no other option. The enemy from the east, in his quest to enslave the known world, had sent his enormous army to the very gates of the city.

If the city fell, so would all the lands that lay behind it. This wasn’t just a battle. This was the last stand for all the free creatures of these western lands.

And then the fearless warrior-king rode out to face his troops, his armor shining in the sun…

But hold on. What the hell am I talking about?

Is this some Lord of the Rings thing? When the kingdoms of Gondor and Rohan united… fought to protect the last bastion of freedom, the walled city of Minas Tirith… and broke through the evil armies of the dark lord, Sauron?

Um, no.

But I can’t blame you if you thought so. I tried pretty hard to build it up that way.

What I actually described above, after massaging and omitting key details, was the Battle of Vienna in 1683.

The Sultan’s massive army was at the city gates.

And while the Polish and the Habsburg kings didn’t like each other very well, they decided they could either team up… or stop worrying and start learning Turkish. So when the Polish troops arrived at Vienna, they lit bonfires in the hills as a signal to the defenders inside the city.

Did you know any of that?

If you’re like me, then nobody ever told you the story of the Battle of Vienna.

But you’ve probably known about the LOTR story for years. Maybe you’ve watched it or read it multiple times.

So my question to you is why? Why do we all know the made up LOTR stories inside and out… and why do we know nothing of the very consequential story of the Battle of Vienna?

Here’s one possible answer. I got it from a book that I suffered through earlier this year, called Simulacra and Simulation. I couldn’t understand almost anything in this book. But I think I got the central gist of it. And that is:

We humans have let go all grip on reality. We now live exclusively in a space of hyperreality.

In other words, we have no more use for the “real” world. Instead we want things that are more real than real.

The Lord of the Rings is more real than real. The good guys are impossibly good. The bad guy is ultimate evil itself. And the white city of Minas Tirith, it’s kind of like a medieval walled city… but its turrets are infinitely more numerous… its walls are infinitely taller… its rampart is infinitely more spectacular. The old town in Dubrovnik just cannot compete.

Maybe you’re wondering what the point of all this theory is. So here’s my advice to you, in case you want to influence others:​​

People say they want true and authentic. They say they want a balanced account. They say they want stories.

Lies, lies, lies.

Give people what they really want. More real than real. Exaggeration, caricature, simplification. Not stories, but grand opera — drama the way it could never exist in real life.

Fail to do this, and you will be forgotten like the defenders at the Siege of Vienna. But use this powerful weapon… and all of Middle-earth can be yours.

At least that’s my attitude. I give the people what I want. Well, at least the ones who want to hear more from me.

Interesting ideas, delivered unexpectedly

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“My job is essentially to come up with 365 ideas a year. If you ever want to find out just how uninteresting you really are, get a job where the quality and frequency of your thoughts determine your livelihood. I’ve found that the only way I can keep writing every day, year after year, is to let my mind wander into new territories. To do that, I’ve had to cultivate a kind of mental playfulness.”

That’s from a speech that Bill Watterson gave in 1990 at Kenyon College. Waterson, as you might know, is the author of Calvin & Hobbes, one of the most successful comic strips of all time.

Waterson’s speech is funny. And interesting. And valuable if you do creative work, or even if you have an online brand or business.

It’s worth digging up online. But today I want to share something else with you.

Because I know that frigtening realization that Waterson talks about. Sometimes I sit down to write these emails and really… all the ideas that come to me are uninteresting. I get tense. “This is the best you’ve got? Would you read this crap? You wouldn’t, would you?”

And like Watterson, the only way I know to not to get bogged down in that space is to let my mind water into new territories.

I have a few routines that allow me to do that.

For example, I’m subscribed to a wonderful email newsletter. It arrives every few days, unexpectedly.

And with each email comes a thought-provoking article that I would never have read otherwise. It’s where I came across the Bill Watterson speech I referenced above.

So if you’d like to sign up to this newsleter… and let your mind wander into new territories on occasion… here’s the usefully ugly signup form for Thinking About Things:

https://www.thinking-about-things.com/subscribe

My need is your opportunity

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I was originally planning on taking the idea in this email and packaging it up as a paid product, maybe a short video course.

I could use the money. But the idea is still too rough to sell.

Perhaps with your help I can polish it. And then sell it, for a fair price, which reflects its true worth. And maybe we can even split the profits.

So here’s what I’ve got so far:

1. Parris Lampropoulos fundraiser. A few years ago, A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos was raising money for his cousin’s cancer treatment. Back then, I wrote an email about why I finally broke down and bought the webinar series that Parris was offering. And one part of what made me do it was this:

People rush to a fire sale because they feel they must be getting a steal. Because they think they are taking advantage of somebody else’s time of need.

I’m not proud of it, but I realize that, somewhere not very deep down, there was an element of this in my motivation to seize this opportunity.

2. The Robert Collier kicking story. Collier once wrote about how his colleagues at the publishing company spent time each day kicking holes in the boxes of books they were selling. Because lightly damaged sets of books, advertised as such and sold at a discount, sold more easily and made more money than sets in perfect condition.

3. The continuing problems with the Green Valley supply chain. Not long ago, I wrote about the overstock at the Green Valley warehouse. It’s the second time it happened in under a year. Both times, they had to run a sale to get rid of the extra bottles of pills. This twice-in-a-year overstock was either extremely unlucky or transparently false.

So that’s what I’ve got so far.

You can see the common thread. If you wanna sell something, it’s often very powerful to run a sale and give a reason for the sale.

And not just any reason.

But a reason that allows your prospects to think they are taking advantage of your need. Just don’t be transparent about it, or you lose credibility.

I think this is a super valuable idea at its core. Everything tells me it can move mountains of stuff, if it’s only used wisely.

But how exactly? That’s where I’m stuck. I don’t have any good examples of this strategy being used consciously and yet credibly in today’s market.

So you got any ideas for me? How to apply this today? How can I take this “fire sale” insight, and wrap it up as a little course I can sell?

If you do, get on my email newsletter so we can stay in touch. And then write me and let me know your ideas. If I ever end up putting this product out with your help, I won’t just give you a free copy. I want to show my gratitude. So I’ll also give you a royalty, a share of the earnings as well.

Don’t read this if you have a sensitive nose

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For the past month, I’ve been getting to the gym at the same time as a large, bald man who smells like an opened grave.

​I understand if you don’t want to read about this topic. But I think it’s important — perhaps the most important direct response topic of them all. So I have to press on.

My best guess at the origin of the stench is thousands of cigarettes smoked… mixed with a rich man-musk… topped off by what I assume must be layers of ordinary filth.

An orc. This is what an orc would smell like.

To make things worse, the orc likes to use different stations around the gym simultaneously. So he keeps moving around. Each time he passes by, I brace myself.

And yet, when the odor hits me, I’m still shocked, just like the very first time. I find myself looking around for support and recognition from the other gym-goers.

I see their pained faces and we exchange looks of quiet despair. We know each other well now. Like me, they keep getting to the gym at the same time as the orc, over and over and over.

And that’s why I say this topic is important. If you’re a direct marketer or a copywriter, this is the raw material you’re dealing with.

Because odds are, you feel no pity for me.

Instead, you probably have reasonable or even good suggestions for how I could improve my situation.

“Talk to the gym management and complain!”

“Go at a different time!”

“Hose down the orc!”

I hear you.

And I’ve thought about all those options.

But still, I find myself, along with a bunch of other regulars… at the gym, every other day, at the same time as the orc… hanging my head, defeated yet again.

Like I said, this is the raw material you’re dealing with. This is the nature of most people when it comes to most problems in life. Even when those problems smell awful. Even when they’re chronic.

That’s why you can’t count on offering a reasonable or even good suggestion for how people can solve their problems. Like Dan Kennedy says:

“It takes extreme measures to compel people to act contrary to the way they normally act. And the way they normally act is to do nothing, decide on nothing, buy nothing.”

John Carlton said you have to get your prospect so frantic with the urge to act now that he jumps up out of his armchair… sticks his hat on his head… rushes out into the dark night where it’s raining and the wind is blowing… just so he can be sure, right now, to mail the order form for the product you’re selling. Yeah, that’s not how the world works any more. Still, that’s what you should be aiming for.

But if neither John Carlton nor Dan Kennedy connects with you, then here is my contribution to the conversation.

The next time you’re writing sales copy and you’re counting on your solid argument and your fair offer to do your work for you… think of the orc. And think of me, at the gym, head in hands.

And then use whatever persuasive means you have to get me to move out of that cloud of funk… and to keep me out of there the next time. Do it, and I’ll thank you for it.

But what’s that? You’re not confident you could persuade me? You’re worried that the persuasive means at your disposal will leave you hungry, penniless, and possibly without a roof to keep the rain out?

Don’t worry. I have an email newsletter where I share a lot of useful persuasion and copywriting ideas. So jump out of your armchair, stick your hat on your head, and rush out over here.

INSIGHT

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“Will you accept this opportunity to learn at my expense absolutely, how to be rid forever of all forms of stomach trouble — to be rid not only of the trouble, but of the very cause which produced it? Write today.”

Or rather, read today. Read the rest of this post. And then maybe do what I say at the end, which will take you at my expense absolutely to the ad which I quoted above.

The headline for the ad was INDIGESTION. The offer was a patent medicine called Dr. Shoop’s Restorative.

The copywriter may or may not have been Claude Hopkins, author of Scientific Advertising. He cut his teeth writing for Dr. Shoop’s. Right around the time this ad came out.

Or maybe the copywriter was John E. Kennedy, author of Reason Why Advertising, and inventor of the concept of “Salesmanship in print.” Kennedy also wrote copy for Dr Shoop’s.

Whatever the case is, this ad shows you the future.

Yes, it was written more than 100 years ago, and it ran all over the country starting in 1905.

But trust me, it shows the future.

I’m writing a book right now on insight marketing. This is a new concept that only a few smart marketers, like Stefan Georgi… and Travis Sago… and Rich Schefren are using consciously right now.

​​But if you look at this ancient patent medicine ad… it’s like an insight fossil. It shows you the moment where the insight fish crawled out of the sea of promises and onto dry land — and even grew some legs to start walking.

I resisted sharing this ad with anybody for a long time. But I guess the time has come.

​​So if you can read between the lines, and you want to see the future of direct response advertising, then sign up to my email newsletter. That’s my condition for sharing this ad with anybody. And once you’re signed up, reply to my welcome email and ask for the insight fossil ad. I’ll send you the link.

Perfect neighbor positioning

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My mom sighed. “His stupid dog died.”

There was a pause on the line. Then I broke out laughing.

I’m not sure what did it. I love dogs. I don’t want any of them to suffer or die.

Maybe it was the contrast between my mom’s choice of words and the emotion in her voice.

Or maybe it was that she thought the dead dog was worth mentioning at all. Because this dog and its owner are not anybody my mom or I know. Or have ever known. Or will ever know.

Instead, the dog owner is the host of some health podcast. My mom listens to this podcast with devotion. Whenever I call her, she gives me summaries of the most recent episodes — even though I’m not curious. And now the host’s bulldog died, and he devoted entire episode to that. My mom had to share this with me also.

You probably know the marketing idea of KLT — know, like, and trust. It works.

Because our brains can’t distinguish messages going to thousands of people, ourselves included… from one-on-one communication we used to have not so long ago, talking to our neighbors over the fence or with our friends over a coffee.

So KLT says you can position yourself as the perfect neighbor. Chipper, encouraging, and helpful. Sharing some gossip… telling a funny personal story… enthusing about a good deal you just got on six pounds of chicken breast at the grocery store across town.

Do this, and people will listen to you.

And if every so often, you also show up in tears because your dog died… people will even bond with you. They’ll feel you’ve crossed the threshold. You won’t be just a good neighbor to them. You’ll become a friend.

Maybe you think this sounds mercenary.

I don’t dispute it. And I don’t have a problem with it.

Still, don’t expect to get more emails from me featuring my podcast-loving, health-obsessed, dog-skeptical mom.

Because while perfect neighbor positioning definitely works… it’s not the only archetype you can fulfill in your prospects’ lives.

Think a little about the people who influence you every day. And you’ll soon see it’s true.

Or if that’s more thinking than you feel like right now, then sign up to my email newsletter. I regularly write about positioning there. And not only that.

I also sometimes practice what I preach. So if you ever find yourself thinking, “This Bejakovic guy is not very likable… so why I do I keep listening to him?”… well, there might be some positioning secret to it, which you’ll be able to grasp and use.

Woo-woo client attraction advice

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A couple days ago, a reader named Daniyal wrote:

“Please talk about looking for clients and becoming better at marketing your own self as well.”

I shared a good resource for marketing your own self in my email from two days ago.

And as for finding clients… I might be the worst person to ask about that.

I never had a good system for getting clients once I got off the freelancing platforms. What’s more, I never cared much.

Because I have zero debts in my life…. I have zero dependents tugging on my shirtsleeves and asking for an allowance… plus I can survive for a long time without food.

In other words, even when I had zero clients, and no money coming in, I didn’t panic and I didn’t change much about what I was doing.

With that preamble, there is one thing I can recommend for getting clients. But let me warn you. It’s rather woo-woo, at least the way I look at it.

Let me set it up:

A few days ago, I wrote to Chris Thompson. Chris is the CEO of Mike Mandel Hypnosis. If you don’t know them, you might want to. They put out tons of interesting stuff that can be relevant for marketers and copywriters.

I’ve been following Mike and Chris for a few years. But recently, I realized their email game is weak. So I wrote to Chris to ask if they want my help with emails. And as I was getting ready to click “Send,” I froze and thought:

“What the hell am I doing? What will I do if they say yes?”

Because I’ve got all the client work I want as far as my 20/20 eyes can see. Besides, I have this newsletter and the books and future mystery projects I am working on for you.

But still I sent the email to Chris.

And that’s my client-attraction advice.

Be respectful of your opportunities. Because the more opportunities you take, the more you get.

And vice versa. The fewer you take — whether because you’re booked up, tired, or simply unmotivated — the fewer opportunities you will get in the future.

This doesn’t mean you have to accept all the work that’s offered to you. It doesn’t mean working 36 hours a day… or working for wages you find unacceptable… or working on projects you find repulsive.

But the way I see it, there is some secret spider web, which connects clients. Once you start jumping up and down on one corner of that web, no matter how remote, it gets the attention of the other spiders, I mean clients, in other places. And if you keep jumping up and down, they will seek you out. Sooner or later.

(By the way, if you’re a guy, something similar happens with women in your life. At least in my experience.)

I told you it’s woo-woo. And maybe woo-woo is not your thing. In that case, perhaps you could use a more materialistic interpretation of what I’m saying:

The fact is, you never know. Opportunities that don’t seem promising for whatever reason might turn out to be so.

Or they might lead to other opportunities indirectly… which wouldn’t happen without you putting in that initial interest and effort.

Or perhaps… each interaction with clients in your market, even if it goes absolutely nowhere… gives you an extra bit of confidence and preparation for when a new opportunity comes along.

My point is to take all the stuff you are dismissing now for whatever reason — because it looks unpromising… or beneath you… or because you’re simply too busy at the moment — and treat it with respect and attention and care.

Do this consistently, for a few weeks or (in my case) a few years. And whether you believe in woo-woo stuff or not, I bet you will be surprised and pleased at the result.

Here’s something that won’t please you:

I have an email newsletter. If you cannot stand reading daily emails, particularly about marketing and copywriting, stay away. Otherwise… well, there might be hope for you. Click here to sign up.