How to get “America’s best copywriter” to read your every email

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I tend to idolize things that happened before I arrived on the scene. So I imagine it must have been great to fly in the “Coffee, Tea, or Me?” heyday of TWA…

It must have been great to do business by the screeching and crackling fax…

And it must have been great to write copy for junk— I mean, direct mail.

I imagine direct mail copywriters to have been like titans, bigger and cooler and more powerful than any of us today.

That’s one of the reasons I have so much respect for Gary Bencivenga. Of course, there are many other, more logical reasons to respect Gary.

Like the fact the man’s been called called “America’s greatest copywriter,” by people who should know. Or that he has an unmatched string of wins, going up against other top pros. Or that he’s a deep thinker in this field, whose ideas have influenced many, myself included.

So here’s one idea of Gary’s. It’s the one that influenced me the most.

This idea was connected to another titan who stomped the Earth before I became aware of direct response. I’m talking about Gary Halbert.

Gary Halbert died in 2007. And when that happened, Gary Bencivenga wrote the following:

In fact, I was thinking about Gary and his newsletter just a few weeks ago. I had noticed something unusual about my reaction to it. I subscribe to numerous marketing ezines. But I noticed that, under the crush of hundreds of emails a week, I found myself deleting almost all of them unopened… except for The Gary Halbert Letter. I would always open his, usually as soon as it hit my inbox.

Whenever I notice an anomaly like that, I ask the most instructive word in the English language: Why?

[…]

Gary shared news. Sometimes he was the news, sometimes it was a dramatic turn of events in his tumultuous life, but often enough, he shared news of a technique or strategy that would make your response and profits soar. You couldn’t afford to miss even one of these gems, so you had to open every issue.

Maybe you think is trivial.

But maybe it says something to you. It did to me. It told me that, if you can get America’s best copywriter to read every email you send, it’s worth doing.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. supposedly said, “Man’s mind, stretched to a new idea, never goes back to its original dimension.”

This one observation by Gary B., which I read early in my copy career, really got in my head and stretched it to a new dimension.

And ever since, it’s been key in how I write my own emails. And key to why these emails have gotten in the heads of other people as well. That’s why “Say something new” is the central tenet behind my Influential Emails training, which will happen next month.

Now that you know that, maybe like me, you can go off and spend a few years meditating on Gary’s koan. Try implementing it in your own business. And keep it up until you start to see results.

Or if you’d like a shortcut, both in terms of coming up with new things to say… and of new ways to say ’em… then Top Gun, as Gary might say, take a look at my Influential Emails offer. It’s open now, but it will close this Sunday. Here’s the link:

https://influentialemails.com

New startling sensations and illusions eclipsing anything ever attempted in the world of copywriting

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Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and behold the mighty A-list copywriters!

See how they persuade with the written word!

Marvel at their subtle tricks in these three bullets by Daring David Deutsch… Powerful Parris Lampropoulos… and Jesting Jim Rutz! Behold, ladies and gentlemen, behold:

* Cure your back pain. Inside on page 3. [David Deutsch]

* Study finds this herb works for three-quarters of men who take it. Page 16 [Parris Lampropoulos]

* Aging parents? A nursing home might be OK. [Jim Rutz]

Yes, boys and girls, friends and enemies! These A-list copywriters know secrets and mysteries that you do not! And now, for the low, low admission price of…

All right, that’s enough. Let me stop the circus barker act. And let me tell you the story behind the three deformed and monstrous bullets above.

The story is that yesterday I got a question from a feller named Nathan. Nathan signed up for my upcoming Influential Emails training. And he’s confused about how to plan out a welcome sequence.

How many emails to spend on telling the brand story? How many about benefits? When to handle objections? What order should the emails go in?

It’s a question I also used to ponder, many Octobers ago. But it’s not something I ponder any more, or that I’ll talk about inside Influential Emails. Because here’s what I told Nathan, and it might be valuable to you too:

Most people will not read all your emails. And even if they do read them all, they won’t remember them.

Does that sting? Bear with me for a second.

When we as copywriters or marketers put together a sequence of emails, we can trick ourselves into thinking it’s a sales letter. After all, that’s how it looks in a Google Doc, if you put one of your emails after another.

But that’s not how it looks to your prospects.

Your prospects might give one of your emails a thorough reading… skim a second one… skip a third. And all this separated by a day or more… and in between dealing with two dozen other emails in their inbox… plus all the other stuff that’s sucked away their attention in the meantime.

I’ve previously compared emails to sales bullets. The analogy applies here as well.

Because when you assume your prospects have followed your sequence faithfully… or that they will keep following it faithfully… your emails become armless and legless, like those hideous bullets above.

But free yourself of this wicked assumption, and behold the magic and the wonder that emerges. Each of your emails is forced to become fascinating and convincing, like these real, unamputed, A-list bullets:

* How a pickpocket can cure your back pain. Inside on page 3. [David Deutsch]

* What to take for an enlarged prostate if you’re not getting results from saw palmetto or pygeum. Study finds this herb works for three-quarters of men who take it. Page 16 [Parris Lampropoulos]

* Aging parents? A nursing home might be OK, but see four better options on page 89. [Jim Rutz]

But perhaps you’d like to know how to make each of your emails fascinating and convincing — the equivalent of the A-list bullets above. In that case, hold on a second. Let me put on my top hat and cape. And let me clamber back onto my soapbox.

Because, ladies and gentlemen, all my many mysteries and email secrets will be revealed. So step right up, and prepare to be shocked and amazed by my Influential Emails, the marvel of the copywriting world. Low, low admission price — a special offer, good only till this Sunday. Show’s inside, folks, right this way, the door to the tent is here:

https://influentialemails.com​​

Bad news for my AIDA School

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“If I would’ve known their real job-placement rate — not to mention how hard it was to actually learn at the school — I never would have signed up.”
— Jonathan Stickrod, one of the students involved in arbitration with Lambda School

Almost exactly a year ago, I proposed something I later called AIDA School. A new way of teaching people copywriting… for free… modeled on Lambda School.

As you might know, Lambda School is a startup. It provides an education to folks, like the young Stickrod above. And it then places them into paying jobs as programmers and designers.

And Lambda School does it all for free. Well, at least upfront.

Because Lambda School gives you the free education. Then it finds you the job. And once you have the job, it takes a cut of your salary, for a few years, up to $30k in total.

Interesting. At least I thought so.

Only, it doesn’t seem to be working. I read about it today in a Business Insider article.

The article makes it sounds like Austen Allred, the CEO and co-founder of Lambda School, is a conman. Cutting back on instructors to make money… defending a crappy, inadequate curriculum… lying about the percentage of students Lambda School places in paying jobs.

But knowing what I know, I doubt Allred is a conman. I think he’s probably just a dolt.

I’m not saying that from any kind of smarter-than-thou place. After all, I also thought the Lambda School model smelled interesting.

But with a bit more sniffing… it now reeks to me of a flawed setup. Regardless of how good or bad the management or the education might be. Because check it:

From direct marketing, we know two fundamental appeals sell.

The first is FREE.

The second is done-for-you.

These appeals tap into some monkey brain, lizard brain, whatever. Not a brain that’s likely to be successful in the 21st-century economy.

And yet, these appeals still stick around inside of us, in spite of being unhelpful. That just shows how powerful they are. Which is why direct marketers use these two appeals so much.

The thing is, direct marketers know not to put those two appeals together.

Not just because it’s unnecessary. But because when you combine FREE and done-for-you, who exactly are you selecting as a market?

I’ll leave that question hanging. And I’ll just say that, seen from the powerful lens of direct response psychology… it’s clear to me that Lambda School, and by extension, my AIDA school, are doomed to failure. Allred, I’ll meet you at the bar for a drink.

Maybe you find all this depressing. So let me give you the good news.

Direct response fundamentals like FREE and done-for-you still continue to work.

You can use them, starting today, to make money for yourself. Just don’t combine them in one offer. Because you’ll attract the wrong kind of business.

Buuut…

What if you don’t want to just cautiously avoid bad business? What if you want to actively attract the best business?

In that case, you might want to go beyond direct response fundamentals… and to my Influential Emails training.

Influential Emails is not about abolishing direct response law. Rather, it’s about fulfilling it with new ideas that transform how you make sales and how your market sees you.

I won’t give you the full pitch here. All I’ll say is that Influential Emails is neither free… nor done-for-you. If that doesn’t trigger your lizard brain too badly, then take a look here for more information:

https://influentialemails.com/

The End of Marketing and the Last Mail

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If you want to get influence and become famous in the near future, I have a strategy you can start using today.

Let me set it up by telling you about Francis Fukuyama. He was the 90s version of Jordan Peterson. A sober academic… who somehow exploded into the high heavens and became an international celebrity.

But unlike Peterson, Fukuyama did it without the help of YouTube. Instead, he did it with a book called The End of History and The Last Man.

In that book, Fukuyama prophesied that there be some standing here (meaning 1992, when the book was published)… who will not taste death before they see liberal democracy ruling the world.

That seems a bit naive today. We got empires like China and Russia on the ascendant… we got huge corporations, controlling more power than most elected bodies… we got the Taliban flag, hoisted over Kabul once again.

But whatever. That’s how it goes with predictions. Most predictions, even by experts or otherwise smart people, end up ridiculously off the mark. In fact, a reliable way to get a laugh is to bring up stupid past predictions:

“The cinema is little more than a fad. It’s canned drama. What audiences really want to see is flesh and blood on the stage.” — Charlie Chaplin, 1916

“There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.” — Albert Einstein, 1932

“Everyone’s always asking me when Apple will come out with a cell phone. My answer is, ‘Probably never.'” — David Pogue, The New York Times, 2006

No matter. Francis Fukuyama became a star by making a bold prediction. And so can you.

Because like kicking the cat, predictions give us a feeling of control in an out-of-control world. And as the singularity nears… and as the fog over the horizon continues to get thicker, limiting our field of view with each passing month… we as a society feel more and more need for dramatic, outlandish, and yet believable predictions.

That’s why I keep making my ongoing prediction about the end of marketing. Or at least the end of classic-style DR marketing, with its flashing neon signs and blaring warning sirens.

My personal bet for the future is on influence instead of persuasion… insight instead of desire… and breakthroughs in print instead of salesmanship in print.

So make a prediction. Even if it ends up being proven wrong. That’s my free idea for you to start building influence today.

I have more such ideas inside Influential Emails, the training I’m offering right now. In fact, I got got to thinking about this prediction stuff because of my “12+4 Most Influential Emails.” This is one of the free bonuses inside my current offer.

This free bonus contains 12+4 emails, including one which influenced me more than any other email I’ve ever gotten from a marketer. The email was all about a prediction. And the crazy thing is, the prediction didn’t even come from the marketer who wrote the email.

Instead, it came from somebody else… writing in another format, years earlier.

That’s the power of influence, and of influential writing.

The initial idea stuck around… lived on in somebody else’s head… made its way into my head… and I will now be passing it on to people who join my Influential Emails program.

Perhaps that will be you. Or perhaps not. But if you’d like more info to help you make that decision, I predict you’ll soon find it here:

https://influentialemails.com/

Fezzik-slapped into success and achievement

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Andre the Giant sucked.

The other actors, all pros, were exchanging looks behind his back. This wasn’t going to work.

The time was 1986. The place was London. The movie was the Princess Bride, and this was the initial script reading.

Andre was supposed to play Fezzik. But he was terrible. Slow… and monotone… and rote. There was no way way this could work on film.

“Read faster.”

Mandy Patinkin, playing Inigo, kept telling Andre to go faster. Without effect.

“Read faster!”

Still no effect. Instructions just couldn’t penetrate Andre’s 90-lb skull.

“Faster Fezzik!” yelled Mandy at the top of his voice. But Andre still kept reading in his slow voice and then—

SLAP!

Mandy slapped the giant across the face. Hard.

Andre’s eyes went wide. There was a pause. And dead silence.

Andre, the 550-lb professional wrestler, who could manhandle seven grown men at once, was thinking. And something finally clicked. He started speaking faster and putting more energy into the role.

The rest as they say, is marketing. So let’s talk about marketing prospects who can’t or won’t follow instructions.

In my email a couple days ago, I offered people a bribe in exchange for writing me and doing two simple things.

Lots of people responded, doing just what I’d asked.

But a few of the people who responded wouldn’t follow my simple instructions.

I get it. I’m reactive like that too.

I start burning inside when anyone tells me what to do. And I start looking for ways to reassert my independence and sovereignty.

But I can tell you this:

The few things I’ve achieved in life all came from finding somebody else’s successful system. And then following it blindly.

Following it, even when I could see a better way. Even when I felt I could skip a step. Even when I was sure some part of it wouldn’t work for me.

Like I said, this is how I achieved the things I have achieved in life.

I probably would have achieved more, or much faster, had I been less stubborn… less reactive… or had I had an Inigo reach out to me and slap me across the face.

That’s not to say there is no place for creativity, uniqueness, or growth in the world.

For example, I started writing these emails following somebody else’s system. Over time, with enough practice, this warped and grew into something new and different. A new system of my own, which I’m calling Influential Emails.

I can tell you this:

Influential Emails will not work for anyone who is too smart, experienced, or reactive to follow instructions. Well, it might work after a slap, but that’s something I can’t do from where I’m sitting.

But say you are ready to follow instructions. Will Influential Emails help you achieve success?

​​Only you can discover that. But if you need some extra info to help you decide whether to give it a twy, then take a wook at the fowowing page:

https://influentialemails.com/

Announcing… an email training with a new name

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We all make mistakes. I made one yesterday.

That’s when I made an offer for a new training I called Invisible Email Manipulation.

But as I lay in bed last night, bed sheets pulled up to my eyeballs, staring at the ceiling in the dark, I realized…

It was the wrong name.

For one thing, Invisible Email Manipulation is a mouthful.

But more important, Invisible Email Manipulation doesn’t sum up what’s unique about these emails. Or the unique stuff this training will reveal.

Unique? Yes, unique. But not necessarily new. As somebody smart figured out approximately 25 centuries ago… there’s nothing necessarily new under the sun.

These emails I write are not sales copy. At least not in the way that sales copy looks when it goes to a cold, skeptical audience.

At the same time, these emails are not plain content either. Even when I don’t sell.

Instead, these emails are an alloy of DR ideas and content — along with a few of my own subtle ingredients. It’s a mixture that gets results that neither of sales copy nor content could get alone.

And as I realized last night, and as you might know already, there’s a name for this style of writing. The name comes from Dan Kennedy, who brought to light and identified so much in this industry.

Dan calls it “influential writing.” As distinct from “copywriting.” And that distinction informed my new name for this training:

Influential Emails.

The ultimate goal of Influential Emails is to get you writing influential emails for yourself… or your brand… or your clients.

Because if you do, good stuff happens. Such as the following:

1. You influence your prospects, and you get them to open up their minds to new ideas you want them to believe.

2. You create positioning and authority and even traffic by words alone. Even if you got no status to start… or no markers of expertise… or no bright feather boa to draw attention to yourself.

3. You sell stuff, while sidestepping the stubborn reactance more and more of us feel when we notice a smiling persuader reaching his hands into our personal space.

Maybe you don’t believe me influential emails can do all this. Or maybe you just don’t believe that Influential Emails can do all this for you.

I’ll try to change your mind in the coming days with a few more emails. The offer to join Influential Emails will be open until next Sunday.

In the meantime, you can find the sales page below. It’s still very minimal. Like the initial release of Google Chrome… it will magically upgrade itself to full functionality throughout the next week.

But if you want to check it out… or you want more details on what’s included in the offer behind Influential Emails… or if you’re even ready to sign up now… then try this link:

https://influentialemails.com/

You never get a second chance to make a last impression

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FBI negotiator Chris Voss has a tip for you:

If you ever have to call the family of somebody who’s been taken hostage by machete-wielding drug traffickers in the Philippines… then save your “how are you” for the end.

In other words, call up the mom of your hostage on the phone. Say, “Hey Mrs. Robinson. It’s Agent John Bejakovic here with the FBI. About your son… I’m afraid I got nothing new to report.”

Give the mom a second to process the info.

And then say, “Mrs. Robinson… how are you and your family coping with this whole situation?” Because…

“The last impression is the lasting impression.”

So says Chris Voss. But it’s not just him. We know today, from decades of experiments on human guinea pigs, that our brains evaluate experiences based on two brief moments only.

The first is the emotional highlight. That can be impossible to control.

But the second is the ending. That’s easy to control.

So it’s your choice. You can first ask Mrs. Robinson how she’s doing… then give her the underwhelming update. “Nothing new!” She will think you’re useless, like all those other FBI idiots.

Or you can switch up the order. Give the update first and end with, “How are you, really?” And Mrs. Robinson will leave off feeling human, like maybe you really care about her welfare and the welfare of her son.

“The last impression is the lasting impression.”

Now about marketing:

A lot of clients I’ve worked with like the idea of warming up a list.

“Let’s not sell anything for a while! Let’s just build a relationship! Let’s give ’em value! They will love us for it!”

I gotta tell you, from personal experience:

You better make your relationship-building material something miraculously good and new. And you better end each email real strong.

Otherwise, you will just leave a dry and chalky taste in your prospects’ mouths. And the next time they get an email from you… they will think twice about biting down on your value-laden content.

But here’s an easy trick, in line with Chris Voss above.

Instead of leaving your prospects with your attempt at value… leave them with an offer.

“The last impression is the lasting impression.”

Make an underwhelming stab at value… and you’ll leave your prospects feeling let down as they walk away.

But make an offer… and your prospects will leave with some tension, mystery, and the feeling of an unexploited opportunity. They might not be ready to buy then and there. But you will make them engaged and ready to listen to you the next time.

And like I said, this all comes from personal experience.

I usually don’t sell in these emails. It’s a moral failing. That’s the only way I can describe it.

Sure, not selling has forced me to get real good at writing emails. How good exactly?

Good enough that I had an Agora publisher find my email archive, and then contact me out of the blue and offer me work.

Good enough that I’ve had a genuine guru in the industry, somebody who’s made tens of millions of dollars for himself and hundreds of millions of dollars for others, reach out to say he loves what I’m doing and that we should connect.

Good enough that, on the rare occasion that I have something coherent to sell, like my last month’s Copy Riddles run, I do fantastic.

But even with all that, my emails are still not good enough to keep up a sustainable relationship with my audience. Not long term. Not without selling all the time.

Because sooner or later I slip up. The “value” I deliver ends up a little dry and chalky. And I can see the effect. Over time, I lose people, their attention, and their engagement.

Selling something all the time would fix that. It would give folks who read my stuff a certain excitement and juice that a regular content email simply cannot replicate. Not every day.

Maybe you don’t believe me. So let me give you a demonstration. See if it convinces you.

I’m putting on a new training. It’s called Invisible Email Manipulation. It features me, in a top hat, pulling back the curtain on some of the main tricks I use to write these emails.

Like I said, I’ve been forced to get very good at writing these emails to keep people engaged… in spite of having nothing to sell most days.

I find I keep going back to the same few tricks, over and over. That’s because my tricks are powerful, and because they are different from the tricks other copywriters are using.

Maybe you’d like to learn my tricks, so you can apply them to what you or your clients are selling. If so, here’s what to do:

1. Write me an email and…

1. Let me know that yes, you are interested in Invisible Email Manipulation and…

2. Let me know one thing you did NOT like in the last copywriting training, course, or program you bought. I’m trying to position myself as being different. And no better way to do it then to be different from crap people don’t like.

So if you are interested, write me and let me know.

In return, I’ll send you the what/when/where/how/how much of this training. Plus, if you write me in the next 24 hours… as a reward, I’ll give you a discount code for 40% off the price everyone else will have to pay.

My special time with Barack Obama

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On January 20, 2009, a friend and I drove down from Baltimore to Washington, D.C. At the time, I personally had nothing to do with the government.

But my friend had been involved with the Obama campaign from its unlikely beginnings. Thanks to him, we were now going to D.C. to watch Obama’s inauguration from a very special place.

D.C. was a madhouse that day. The streets were filled with hundreds of thousands of people.

My friend and I managed to park. We started making our way towards the National Mall. Barricades had been erected to corral and direct the masses so they could pile up in front of the Capitol building. Fortunately, this did not apply to my friend and me.

I’ll wrap up my experience from that day in a second. But first let me tell you why I bring this up.

I got an email today from a reader named Jon. Jon is a copywriter. One of his clients is an organization filled with high-status, high-authority persons.

But for reasons I cannot divulge (because I don’t know them), these powerful and authoritative persons must remain anonymous. Even their direct contacts must remain anonymous.

So Jon wrote in, and using his best Ali G voice, he asked me how to “big up an authority figure if that figure needs to stay anonymous?”

So here’s one thing I told Jon — maybe it will be relevant to you too:

If you want authority, but you got nothing else to work with, you can name tangential contacts.

Trump. Putin. Gary Bencivenga. Whoever the biggest person is that you can get.

It doesn’t have to be particularly meaningful connection — the name is more important than a really close tie. If you ever met once, even for a few seconds… if you ever attended the same event… or hell, even if you were ever in the same town at one point.

So I guess you see where I’m going with this.

Back on that 2009 Inauguration Day, my friend and I got carried around in the sea of people. We soon realized we wouldn’t see a damn thing if we pushed our way into the crowds in front of the Capitol. So we turned around, and by a circuitous route, we made it to the Washington Monument.

There were a bunch of people there also. They were looking at large-screen TVs showing the inauguration. I jumped up in place, and for a moment I could see the Capitol building above the crowd. I must have seen Obama, somewhere up there, for a split second. I guess.

And I guess you might have had enough of me and of this email by now. But hang on.

Because there are a few caveats about this authority by association stuff. Here’s how to actually make it useful:

1. Don’t make it absurd. The association doesn’t have to be super tight or flattering. But it has to be a little tighter and a little more flattering than my connection to Obama.

2. Don’t telegraph what you’re doing. For example, don’t make your loose association in an email where you explain that very technique.

3. Don’t bring up people your market doesn’t care about. Like Obama. He’s pretty irrelevant today to the space of direct response marketers and copywriters.

So is that the best I got? Obama, maybe, 12 years ago? Don’t I have even a tangential association to anybody more interesting in the direct response space?

Maybe I don’t. Or maybe I just choose to big up my authority in a different way. In the poorly chosen words of my friend, Barack Obama, while he was trying to make the case for government-run healthcare:

“UPS and FedEx are doing just fine, right? It’s the Post Office that’s always having problems.”

If that makes little sense to you, perhaps you’d like to join my email list. I don’t promise it will answer this particular riddle… but there are many secrets and mysteries inside you might like. Click here if you want in.

People don’t know what anything is worth

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Imagine you’re starting a new business as a cat and dog photographer. So as the first step, you head to Amazon to check prices on DSLR cameras.

Hm. That Canon EOS Rebel you’ve been eyeing is priced very reasonably.

In fact, the price on Amazon is cheaper than at the specialized photography equipment website… and at your local brick-and-mortar photography store… and even at Walmart.

But here’s the trick.

I didn’t know about it until today — maybe it won’t be news to you — but of course Amazon gets its own back.

According to an analysis by Boomerang Commerce, Amazon dynamically reduces prices of its most popular items to make you think you’re getting a good deal.

That’s why something like a popular DSLR camera is cheap on Amazon.

But at the same time, Amazon dynamically jacks up the prices of less popular items — cables, lenses, carrying cases — that you are likely to buy with your main purchase.

End result?

You feel you’re getting a deal. Meanwhile, Amazon sits there quietly, with that trademark smirk on its face.

“Meh,” you say. “That’s nothing special. Businesses have a right to manipulate their prices however they want to maximize profits.”

I don’t dispute that.

My point is simply — well, actually, it’s not my point. It’s the point from the people at The Atlantic. They made the video I watched today, which clued me into this Amazon pricing stuff. And the video summed it up like this:

“People used to think the Internet would usher in this new age of transparency for pricing. But really it’s just given retailers new ways to manipulate the same old fundamental bias: People don’t know what anything is worth.”

Marketer Rich Schefren likes to say that marketing is getting people to value your offer.

I used to think that means sharing enough information for your prospect to see what your offer is truly worth.

But people don’t know what anything is worth. No amount of information will help them see the “true” value of your offer.

When you understand this, then Rich’s koan takes on a whole new level of urgency and meaning.

Suddenly, positioning becomes the most important decision you can make.

Because if you can put yourself into a marketplace of one… and given that people don’t know what anything is really worth… well, then you can manipulate the prices of your own offers how you like. And you don’t even have to be sneaky like Amazon about it.

So how do you get yourself into that magical marketplace of one? That’s something I write about on occasion in my email newsletter. If you’d like to read what I write about it the next time, sign up for my newsletter here.

Persuasion by nonsense: A case study of Alexander the Great and the magical gold goblet

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Legend says the famously gullible Alexander the Great once visited the kingdom of king Kayd.

As signs of homage, Kayd sent Alexander four unique and valuable gifts. One of the four was a magical gold goblet.

Alexander drank from the goblet, from dawn till dusk.

And each time the goblet ran dry, it refilled itself with cold water.

“How is this magic possible?” Alexander asked in wonder. He looked around at his men. But all he got back were a bunch of shrugs.

So Alexander went to the wisest philosopher of his time.

The philosopher inspected the goblet. He closed his eyes and smiled.

“Think of what happens here as analogous to magnetism,” he said to Alexander. “Magnetism attracts iron. In a similar way, this cup attracts moisture from the turning heavens. But it does so in such a subtle fashion that human eyes cannot see the process.”

“Analogous to magnetism…” Alexander said, mulling over the idea with growing delight. “That makes so much sense!”

No Alex, it really doesn’t. From what we know today, in 2021, about magical self-refilling gold goblets, they do not in any way operate by attracting moisture from the turning heavens. And they are in no way comparable to magnetism.

But you can’t blame Alexander for getting delighted with this explanation.

Because the human brain — yes, even the brain of great men like Alexander — is primed for two things.

The second of these things is drawing connections between unconnected concepts.

This new connection doesn’t have to be “true” in any practical sense. It will still fill us with a sense of delight and possibility.

Of course, this feeling wears off in time. But if you act quick enough, while somebody is filled with that sense of wonder and hope, you can sell them stuff. That’s why analogies, transubstantiation, and metaphors work so well in direct response copy.

“But hold on,” I hear you saying. “If analogies are so great, why aren’t you using one yourself to sell me this idea? Your story with Alexander isn’t an analogy.”

And you’re right. Like I said, the human brain is primed for two things. Analogies tap into the second of these two things.

But the first thing is equally important, and equally powerful. Perhaps you’ve long known what I’m talking about. Or perhaps can figure it out based on the evidence in this email. But if you’re not 100% sure, don’t worry. I’ll write more about it, in an upcoming issue of my magical and delightful newsletter.