Persuasion

People like you better when you taste something awful

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Opening scene:

Private investigator Lew Harper lies awake in bed. He stares at the ceiling.

His alarm goes off. He knocks it with his fist to turn it off.

Harper gets out of bed, pushes the still-on TV out of the way, and pulls up the blinds on the windows.

It becomes clear that Harper’s bedroom is actually Harper’s office. He isn’t sleeping there because he was working late, but because he doesn’t have a proper apartment.

Harper goes to the fridge, gets an ice pack. He walks over to the sink, dumps the ice in, and fills it up with water. He puts his head in the ice-filled sink and holds it there.

Finally, Harper goes to make coffee.

He folds a coffee filter. He folds it again. He gets ready to put coffee into the filter but — the coffee can is empty.

Harper hangs his head in defeat.

Then he thinks for a minute. He doesn’t like what he’s thinking. But what to do?

He goes over to the trash can and opens it.

There’s yesterday’s coffee filter with yesterday’s coffee, looking up at him.

Should he? Shouldn’t he?

He does.

Harper takes yesterday’s coffee out the trash. He makes a new coffee with it. He takes a sip.

And, in a moment that launched a giant Hollywood career, Harper shudders from how bad the coffee tastes.

So now, let me ask you, how do you feel?

Let me change how you feel for a moment, by sharing with you a really repulsive negotiation lesson. It comes from negotiation coach Jim Camp, who said:

“The wise negotiator knows that only one person in a negotiation can feel okay, and that person is the adversary.”

I’ve read this lesson 100 times. I accept it on an intellectual level. But I still find it impossible to accept emotionally, and that’s why I say it’s so repulsive.

Camp advised his coaching clients to make their negotiation adversaries feel okay. To make them feel smart, important, respected.

“Fine,” you might say, “that’s pretty obvious.”

That’s what I said too.

But the part that’s not obvious is that Camp says that okayness is a positional good. If you have it, then I can’t have it. And vice versa.

That’s the part I still can’t accept.

Whether or not Camp’s 100% right, the truth remains, if I make myself a little unokay, you will feel more okay.

And as proof of that, let me finish up the Harper story.

Harper was the first screenplay ever written by my favorite screenwriter, William Goldman.

The movie went on to be a big success. It launched Goldman’s career in Hollywood. It led Goldman to dozens more movies, a couple Academy Awards, and even a few million dollars.

None of it would have happened had Harper been a flop. But Harper was a success from that opening scene. Goldman wrote about the reaction of people who saw Harper when it launched:

===

Whenever anyone talked about Harper to me in the weeks that followed, that was the moment they they remembered — drinking that horrible stuff. And the laugh that went along with it, that was a laugh of affection.

What that coffee moment really turned out to be was an invitation that the audience gladly accepted: They liked Lew Harper.

From that moment forward, the script was on rails.

===

In entirely unrelated news:

Yesterday, I asked readers what todo items are waiting for them that they are dreading. I got a number of people responding with dreadful todo items.

In situations like this, whenever I get a number of good responses, I always like to repeat the offer. There’s sure to be people who didn’t see it the first time or who got pulled away before having a chance to respond.

So here goes:

What’s one thing on your todo list for today that you’re dreading?

It can be big or small. Important or trivial. The only thing that counts is that you’re not looking forward to doing it.

Let me know. Maybe I can figure out or find a solution to help you get rid of this troubling todo item. Thanks in advance.

Confidence kills

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This morning, I saw a chocolate Labrador run up to a couple at a streetside cafe.

The couple — a man and a woman — were sitting in the sun and having coffee and sandwiches.

At first, I thought the dog knew the couple. He frolicked around them, wagged his tail excitedly, and let them pet him.

But it turned out no. This was their first-ever meeting.

The dog’s owner came up, leash in hand, apologizing to the couple, and tried to collect the dog.

The lab evaded the owner. He ran to the other side of the table. And then he put his entire head on the actual table, right next to the sandwich the woman was eating.

The woman started to laugh. She wagged her finger and in a mock-educational tone, she told the dog, “La confianza mata!” Confidence, as in trust of others, kills. I’m not 100% sure, but I think she slipped the dog a little piece of jamón from her sandwich as the owner yanked the beast away.

Maybe there’s a persuasion lesson in there?

Maybe. Let’s see.

Dogs trust strangers instinctively.

Humans don’t.

“Confidence kills!” That’s what we tell ourselves, our kids, and even those same dogs, though we can’t beat it out of them.

This lack of confidence is a problem, particularly if you want strangers to trust you and to do as you want.

Solution:

Do as the dog did.

Trust people first. Even if they are complete strangers.

This is what master persuaders, the ones who have persuaded thousands or even millions of strangers, have found to work the best. In the words of one such master persuader, Claude Hopkins:

“Ask a person to take a chance on you, and you have a fight. Offer to take a chance on him, and he might slip you a piece of jamón.”

And now, can I ask for your help?

The fact is, I don’t have any offer to promote today. Maybe even tomorrow.

So if you’re okay with it, can I ask you a rather personal question? Here goes:

What’s one thing on your todo list for today that you’re dreading?

It can be big or small. Important or trivial. The only thing that counts is that you’re not looking forward to doing it. ​​

Let me know. Maybe I can figure out or find a solution to help you get rid of this troubling todo item. Thanks in advance.

Sizzling tracks at the gay nudist beach of death

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Yesterday, I was walking on the train tracks. It’s how you get to Dead Man’s Beach.

It turns out Dead Man’s Beach is a nudist beach. In fact, it turns out it’s a gay nudist beach.

I didn’t know any of this yesterday. I showed up, pretty straight, in my usual city slicker outfit of blue jeans and converse.

I looked down from the cliff that leads to the beach at all the nudity and gayness. There wasn’t very much of either — just two couples and a couple naked dogs.

But back to the train tracks.

In order to get to Dead Man’s Beach, you have to cross the train tracks, because the train runs right along the sea.

Also, in order to get from one part of Dead Man’s Beach to the other, you actually have to walk on the train tracks for a stretch.

Problem:

Every couple of minutes, a speeding train from Barcelona appears out of nowhere and zooms by on the tracks. This is not how Dead Man’s Beach got its name, but the trains really could be deadly.

Solution:

You can actually hear the train coming a good minute before it appears out of nowhere. Not because it’s ringing a bell or hooting a horn or loudly chugging along, but because the train tracks vibrate.

Even when the train is a mile away, the tracks start to give off a sizzling sound that warns you it’s time to move to the side.

Can you hear it now? You should be able to.

Because until tonight, Saturday, at 12 midnight PST, I have a special, free bonus if you buy my Simple Money Emails course.

The bonus is the “lite” version of Matt Giaro’s $397 course Subscribers From Scratch. It will show you how Matt grew his email list, with high-quality subscribers who paid for themselves, via little newsletter ads.

Right now, the deadline is speeding along, and it will come bursting out of its dark tunnel soon.

When that happens, you won’t be able to get Matt’s course any more — not for free in any case.

I won’t be sending any more emails before tonight. But you still have time.

The tracks are sizzling. It’s a warning. You can probably hear it. It’s giving you a chance to get the jump on the deadline. If you’d like to do it right now, before it’s too late:

https://bejakovic.com/sme

Talk different

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Today is the last day to sign up for my Daily Email Fastlane workshop, which means it’s TIME:

TIME ​​to feature bits of self-serving feedback I’ve gotten from readers who have already signed up.​​

I have one such bit below.

​​If you read on, you will see it serves my purposes perhaps all too well.

Still, it might just be worth reading for your own self, because it does also illustrate a deep marketing truth.

Yesterday, I got a message from Ashley Gainer, who is a copywriter, former journalist, and current host of the Copy Chatter podcast.

Ashley had signed up for Daily Email Fastlane, so I wrote her to ask what her situation is in regard to daily emails, and how I can make the workshop as useful to her as possible.

​​Here’s a part of what she replied:

===

I’ve been sending a daily email to my list for 2+ years. Your “takes” on the how and why of copywriting and marketing in general are often so different from what I normally see with the chest-thumpers — I want to know more about your approach.

===

Ok, so now that I’ve slipped in this bit of self-serving feedback, maybe you can read it again and see that deep and obvious marketing truth:

If you want people to buy from you, even products that are kind of vague and mysterious like Daily Email Fastlane, then make sure you talk different from other people out there.

I don’t mean just talking all ungrammatical or doubling down on your own slang.

I mean fundamentally having unique things, different things, surprising things to say.

Easier said than done, right?

​​How in helminth do you come up with different, unique, surprising things to say, particularly every day?

Good news:

​​That’s one of the commonalities I’ve found among three successful daily emailers I will be using as case studies inside Daily Email Fastlane.

Honestly, I’m dissecting what these guys do as much for myself as I’m doing it for you.

Because if I could only have five fundamentals of human psychology as applies to marketing and copywriting, one for each of the fingers of my left hand, then contrast would be one of them. In fact it would be the thumb.

That’s why during Daily Email Fastlane, I’ll go into this “talk different” topic, and give you a practical technique I’ve seen used by all three of these daily emailers to say something unique as often as they like.

Daily Email Fastlane is happening tomorrow night, live on Zoom, at 8pm CET, with a replay if you cannot attend live.

But the deadline to sign up is today, Wednesday, less than 12 hours from now, at 8:31pm CET. If you’d like join me and find out how to talk different:

https://bejakovic.com/daily-email-fastlane

How to buy the jury in the courtroom

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Legend says the greatest con man ever done lived was Joseph Weil, aka The Yellow Kid.

Starting at age 14 and up to his death at age 100, The Yellow Kid conned thousands of people and stole millions of dollars.

​​Fine, so did lots of other con men.

But even among con men, who are known for their understanding of human nature, the Yellow Kid was unique.

For example, The Yellow Kid spent very little of his 100 years in jail. That’s because he could buy a jury like he was buying a Snickers bar.

Most of the time, the Yellow Kid would bribe a juror outside the courtroom — at dinner, during lunch, in the bathroom.

But the Kid could even buy the jury right in the courtroom, during the trial, right under the judge’s nose.

How?​

​​​From the mouth of one of the Kid’s colleagues:

“The Kid would pick out a soft guy in the jury and smile at him. If he smiled back, he’d be the guy. Then Yellow would wink at the juror and pass some money to another grifter so that the juror could see it. Then he’d wink again, and if the juror winked or nodded, the fix would be in.”

I’m not a grifter or a con man.

I’m also nowhere near as quick on my feet The Yellow Kid was.

But I have used the same strategy he used.

I’ve used it safely, legally, and you might even say ethically. ​​

I’ve used the Yellow Kid’s technique in my emails, to figure out which offers to create and promote.

A smile… rubbing some money together in my hand… a wink.

The fix would be in — an offer that’s almost guaranteed to succeed.

If you want to know the details of what I done, I’ll talk about it on Thursday during Daily Email Fastlane.

This is a workshop all about sending daily emails for your personal brand.

Daily Email Fastlane is built around the common elements I’ve seen in three very successful daily emailers I’ve coached. Plus, I’ll also include some of the best advice I gave them, the above courtroom “smile and wink” technique being one of them.

If you wanna sign up for Daily Email Fastlane, the deadline is this Wednesday at 8:31pm CET, less than 48 hours from. To get in before the deadline:

https://bejakovic.com/daily-email-fastlane

Not even Cialdini could coax, talk, or shame a solution to this problem

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Towards the end of chapter 4 of Bob Cialdini’s book Influence, Cialdini shares a personal story that I want to share with you today.

I want to share this story with you because it serves my purpose.

But you might want to read this story because it can help you achieve your purpose as well.

Here goes:

Robert Cialdini, a world-famous expert in influence, persuasion, and communication, wanted to get his 3yo son to learn to swim without wearing an inflatable inner tube.

Each year, a bunch of kids in Arizona, where Cialdini lived, drowned in unattended pools. Cialdini wanted to make sure it wouldn’t happen to his boy.

So he tried a direct appeal — “Let’s teach you how to swim, son.”

NO!!! was the response. ​​Cialdini’s kid liked water, but he was terrified of getting in without the inflatable inner tube.

No matter how Cialdini tried to “coax, talk, or shame” his 3yo son, the boy wouldn’t let go.

Fine. Cialdini hired a graduate student of his, who was also a lifeguard and swimming instructor, to get his son to learn to swim.

Nope. Once again, the kid refused.

Not even the lifeguard’s professional techniques could overcome the boy’s fear of swimming without the inflatable inner tube.

Fast forward a couple days. Cialdini’s kid was attending a day camp.

One day, as usual, Cialdini went to pick his son up. And he saw a shocking, never-before-seen sight:

His kid was running down the diving board at the pool. He reached the end of the diving board and jumped into the deep end. No inflatable inner tube.

Cialdini rushed over, ready to dive in the pool and to rescue his certainly drowning son.

Except the kid wasn’t drowning. He was swimming.

Cialdini was stunned. He helped his kid get out the pool. And he asked the boy how come he could finally swim without his inflatable plastic ring.

Response:

“Well, I’m 3 years old, and Tommy is 3 years old. And Tommy can swim without a ring, so that means I can, too.”

You can probably imagine a bright-red handprint on Cialdini’s forehead as he slapped himself upon hearing that.

Point being:

We’re all looking for some kind of confirmation that what we’re trying to do is actually possible.

Examples from others can help there. But in order for it to actually help, those others must have the same limitations we have.

If you’re 3 years old, it doesn’t help much to see a 26-year-old lifeguard swimming without an inflatable plastic ring. But when you see 3-year-old Tommy do it, then that means something.

And now to my purpose:

If you are not yet writing daily emails for your personal brand, or if you are not yet successful with it, then next Thursday I’m putting on a workshop called Daily Email Fastlane.

A key part of this workshop will be the common elements I’ve seen among three daily emailers I have coached over the past 18 months.

​​These three coaching students have stood out to me in terms of the money they make, the stability of their income, and simply in how much they seem to enjoy their business and their life.

My claim is that seeing inside these guys’ businesses can help you overcome your own self-imposed or real limitations.

​​Because among these these three daily emailers, you can find at least one who has faced the kinds of problems that you might be facing now:

– a small list
– an unpromising niche
– leads without money
– imposter syndrome
– a genuine lack of credibility

And yet, these three guys turned out successful. Maybe seeing their examples can make you successful also, and quickly so.

If you’d like to join me for this workshop to try it for yourself, here’s where to dive in:

https://bejakovic.com/daily-email-fastlane

How to get a piano to sell itself

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Pianos are bulky, expensive, and almost impossible to use.

As a result, it’s hard to sell a piano, if you have to be the one selling it.

On the other hand, it’s easy to get a piano to sell itself. Here’s a straightforward 9-step process to do so, recommended by an expert on the matter:

1. Start with a fundamental human instinct (eg. “building a home”)

2. Tie that into a new habit or convention that serves your ultimate goal (eg. “every refined home has a music room”)

3. Organize an exhibition of music rooms designed by well-known decorators

4. Put on a gala event to create dramatic interest in the exhibit from step 3, and invite key people who influence public opinion and habits, such as a famous violinist, a popular artist, and a society leader

5. Publicize this event and these associated people through various media

6. For an even easier time, also convince influential architects to introduce music rooms into their new architectural plans

7. If successful with step 6, publicize these influential architects and their new plans through various media

8. Wait a little bit while this percolates through society, and music rooms become a thing that everybody has to have

9. Sit inside your piano shop and welcome men and women as they file in and say, “Please sell me a piano? I have this empty music room I need to fill.”

After reading this straightforward 9-step process, maybe you say:

“Thank God I don’t sell pianos! I’ll go sell my thing right now, and I’ll go do it directly, without your straightforward 9-step process.”

Of course. Do as you think is right. All I was really aiming to do is to share the following idea:

It can be very valuable to create circumstances that channel natural emotional currents into demand.

Creating such circumstances is something you can do regardless of what you sell, whether that’s your own courses… your copywriting services… or even physical products.

You can create the right new circumstances right now. Over time, you can get people to change their own minds, to demand what you have, and even to reach out and ask you for it.

I gave you the general recipe for how to do it above.

As for how to put that recipe in action, in your particular business, selling your particular offer, I’ve actually prepared a training all about that. You can find it here:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

How to get free coffee for six

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I’m in Lisbon. For the second time ever in my life. ​​I’m here for a meetup organized by Sean D’Souza. For the second time ever in my life.

In case you don’t know Sean, he is a marketer who’s been online since before Google went public. And he’s still at it.

​​Sean and his wife Renuka run Psychotactics, a genuinely unique and genuinely valuable website, blog, email newsletter, and podcast.

Sean and Renuka decided a long while ago that they wanted to cap their income — the last I heard, they make $500k a year and that’s it.

On the flip side, they take three months of vacation a year — work three months, travel for one month.

They normally live in New Zealand, but last year during one of their vacation months they traveled around Spain (the first meetup I went to was in Seville).

This year, they are traveling for a month around Portugal. And that’s how and why I am Lisbon today.

Yesterday was the the meetup. There were six of us:

#1 Sean…

​​​#​2 Renuka…

​​#​​3 A Portuguese entrepreneur with a miracle household product she is trying to get onto a world market…

​​#4 A German fitness trainer and app creator…

​​#5 An English bass guitar teacher who has been selling courses online almost as long as Sean has (and who had actually heard of me, via Kieran Drew, and via my love of the Princess Bride)…

​​#6 Me.

Not in attendance, but somebody who was supposed to come until the very last minute, was Internet marketer André Chaperon. That would have been a kind of thrill for me, because André was how I got into copywriting, and his AutoResponder Madness was the first email copywriting course I ever went through.

Anyways, let me jump from the intro to the outro:

​​After three hours of sitting in the cafe of Sean and Runuka’s boutique hotel, and talking about all kinds of things business, marketing, and persuasion, we got up from the cafe and left without paying.

I didn’t know anything about it. I assumed Sean had paid for our coffees, but he didn’t. Instead, we just smiled at the two waitresses who had been serving us, thanked them, and walked out.

The coffees we had consumed didn’t go on any kind of tab. The waitresses knew we didn’t pay. And yet they didn’t complain, and in fact were happy with the situation.

The question then is, how do you get free coffee for six?

I would tell you the answer, but I’m afraid you would groan and say, “Oh come on.” Because the answer is very simple, very obvious, and you’ve probably heard it as advice a million times before.

But maybe you’re still curious, and you really would like to know how to get free coffee for six, even if the answer is simple, obvious, and familiar.

If so, I’ll make you a deal:

Write in and tell me a frustration you’re currently having. It can be big or small. It can have to do with business, marketing, persuasion — or it can have nothing to do with any of those things.

I’m not offering any kind of solution to your frustration. But I am curious, and I am willing to listen. And in exchange, I’ll write you back and I’ll tell you how to get free coffee for six.

Very insightful AI-generated summary for my book’s reviews

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Yesterday, I checked my little 10 Commandments book on Amazon to see if I have any new reviews. I have no new reviews. But there is something new.

Above all the reviews I’ve gotten so far, there’s a new AI-generated summary that says:

“Customers find the book a great read with great bits of advice. They also appreciate the names of the great bits.”

Huh? Names of the great bits?

​​I’m guessing that’s the AI-generated summary of the following human-generated review, which contains the word “names” several times:

“Short and very pertinent. Loaded with the names of hugely successful giants of the copywriting world and the titles of their successful books. I read the book on Kindle and highlighted many great bits of advice and the names of the great writers sharing advice. If you write ad copy for a living or hope to do so, buy this book.”

Now, this is not one of those “Haha stupid AI, it will never be as smart as us great apes” emails.

I’ve gone on record three years ago, before ChatGPT really broke, saying I think AI will in fact be able to replace any and all human work, including supposedly creative work.

I still stand by that. If AI is not quite there yet today, like with the above review summary, then it will get there tomorrow, or the day after.

That said:

My awkward AI summary above actually makes an insightful point. Humans do appreciate the names of the great bits.

Specifically, we appreciate the names of great bits known as other humans.

I’ve noticed I get turned off when I realize something is AI-generated. Not because it’s inferior in quality. Often it’s not — often it’s actually better. But I still get turned off, simply because I realize it’s AI-generated.

Really, this isn’t anything new.

I haven’t been to many standup comedy shows. But I have heard they are typically set up in a 1-2-3 order:

Number 1 comic is unknown and often terrible. Number 2 comic is unknown but really good, on the way up. Number 3 comic is nationally famous and has been so for a few years.

Objectively speaking, the no. 2 comic will often deliver the best, tightest, funniest set.

But it’s the no. 3 comic who will draw the biggest laughs, simply because people have come to see him, because he’s the headliner, because he’s got the name they know. The quality of the content is actually secondary or tertiary.

While there are still humans, and while there is still work for us to do, there’s a lesson to be drawn from that.

​​And now, related to that lesson, here’s my offer to you:

For a while now, I’ve been thinking about creating some kind of a workshop or program to help people build up their status, their authority, their name. How to do this is a personal interest of mine. And maybe I can help you do it, quickly and thoroughly.

I haven’t yet decided whether to organize this workshop or program, or how it would look. But if you’re interested, just hit reply and tell me so.

I won’t have anything to pitch you — not yet at least. But I want to hear from you, and I want to talk to you, and see if I can help. So if you’re interested, hit reply and let’s talk.

Climate change is bullshit

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If you identify as right-leaning, at least in the American sense, then there’s a good chance you already suspect climate change is bullshit.

In that case, I’m not telling you anything new.

On the other hand, if you identify as left-leaning, at least in the American sense, then you should know that “climate change” is in fact bullshit.

The term was a kind of red herring proposed back in 2002 by a Republican pollster, Frank Luntz, in a memo to the administration of President George W. Bush. Luntz wrote:

“‘Climate change’ is less frightening than ‘global warming.’ As one focus group participant noted, climate change ‘sounds like you’re going from Pittsburgh to Fort Lauderdale.’ While global warming has catastrophic connotations attached to it, climate change suggests a more controllable and less emotional challenge.”

Luntz later distanced himself from this memo and the effects it may have had. But it was too little, too late.

The Bush administration had already taken up the fight for “climate change” at the expense of “global warming.”

​​Over the course of 2023, they started seeing results.

​​Climate change gradually became the standard way to talk about the environment — not just in Bush administration press releases, but among news media, left-leaning politicians, and ultimately the general population.

It’s now 20+ years later.

​​Yesterday was Earth Day.

Mainstream media like the BBC and CNN wrote about the occasion.

So did left-leaning media like NPR and the New York Times.

They all bewailed the fact that not enough is being done. And they all used the term “climate change.”

I have no interest in trying to change your mind one way or another about the environment. I identify as neither right- nor left-leaning, but upright, like a refrigerator.

​​My point is simply to talk about the persuasion aspect of all this, and to highlight what it means for you.
​
Because you might think the lesson here is to simply come up with a sneaky new phrase like “climate change” and snap your finger to make your customers, constituents, or even competitors play the game you want them to play.

Not at all. Here’s a story from George Lakoff, a UC Berkeley professor of linguistics and a kind of Democrat version of Frank Luntz. Lakoff wrote:

“I was once asked if I could reframe — that is, provide a winning slogan for — a global warming bill “by next Tuesday.” I laughed. Effective reframing is the changing of millions of brains to be prepared to recognize a reality. That preparation hadn’t been done.”

It’s possible to reframe the minds of thousands of your customers and even your competitors so they play your game… use your preferred language… and fume against you in a way that only serves you and reinforces what you want.

But it takes some preparation to do that.

There are lots of ways to do that preparation. I’m sure many of them are fine. But my preferred one is simple daily emails like the one you’re reading now.

If you haven’t tried writing daily emails yet, I can recommend it.

​​If you have tried writing daily emails, I can recommend keeping it up.

And if you want some guidance on how to keep it up, and what to put in your emails so you prepare all those minds to recognize a new reality, here’s my “intro to daily emailing” course:

https://bejakovic.com/sme