Personal Change

It takes two to tango with a bear

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After about 5 months of very slow reading, I recently managed to finish Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking, Fast and Slow.

Honestly, I think this book will become a Bible of sorts for me.

It crystalizes so many vague ideas I’ve had and also gives me new and valuable perspectives.

Such as Kahneman’s concept of “the two selves.” Let me illustrate this with something else that’s meaningful to me, and that’s Werner Herzog’s movie Grizzly Man.

This is a documentary about a guy who traveled up to Alaska summer after summer.

He camped out in the wilderness, living in a tent, and recording hundreds of hours of video of himself, of the tall grasslands, of the beautiful rivers, and of the troupe of grizzly bears that hung out all around him.

The grizzlies and the video guy eventually developed a mutual respect for each other.

He got closer and closer to them, and more and more in touch with nature.

It was becoming quite transcendent. Until one lean summer night, when a hungry grizzly bear came into the guy’s tent and, during a horrific and terrifying few minutes, ripped him apart and ate him.

Shocking story.

And a good illustration of Kahneman’s two selves.

One self is the “experiencing self.”

It’s how we feel, moment by moment. The grizzly man’s experiencing self got many thousands of moments’ worth of peace, beauty, excitement, and self-discovery.

The other self is the remembering self.

​It’s how we evaluate or judge our experience in hindsight, or from a removed perspective.

​​The grizzly man’s remembering self, if it could put the pieces back together, would probably remember the one emotional high point of his Alaska summers — maybe the time he managed to get close to a mamma bear and her cubs — and the tragic end — the late-night bear mauling.

So why am I telling you this?

Well, I personally find I consult my remembering self too much, both when evaluating how I felt, and in making big decision about the future.

There’s no getting around the remembering self — it’s an essential part of all of us.

But it’s only one half of the tango.

The experiencing self should have something to say too.

And as I hope the grizzly man story above illustrates, the two selves can often come to very different conclusions.

Anyways, maybe this philosophical rambling will be useful to you in some way.

Now it’s back to the mundane world of direct response money-making. And if you have a business and you need some help with that, both your remembering and experiencing selves might appreciate the following experience:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The gruesome productivity secret of “The Star”

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There’s an intersection near my house called “The Star”. A fairly gruesome legend lies behind this sparkly name:

Some 500 years ago, a bunch of pro-socialist peasants decided to revolt against the ruling 1%.

This revolt was soon put down, as tends to happen with these things.

But even after the revolting rabble was scattered back to their villages, the cruel noblemen knew that it was only a matter of time before a new revolt broke out.

So they decided to set an example.

They dragged the shackled, bloodied, and beaten leader of the peasant revolt through the city, to a crossing of four roads.

On each road, there were four snorting stallions.

After putting a red-hot iron crown on the rebel’s head and pinching him with red-hot iron pincers, the noblemen had him tied to the horses.

Each arm and each leg got its own horse.

And then the horses were whipped, until they pulled and strained and ripped the peasant revolt leader in four separate directions.

Hence — The Star.

And you know, metaphorically, I feel a little like that peasant revolt leader these days.

Because I’m being pulled in a bunch of different directions by responsibilities and goals I’ve set for myself:

Completing client work… trying to whip up a social life out of thin air… fulfilling my daily quota of downward dogs and happy child poses… chasing girls… expanding my copywriting business by taking on expensive coaching… writing a couple sets of daily emails… coming up with ideas for lectures I could give at a local school… courting potential new clients… planning an occasional trip to keep myself sane.

I’m not complaining, by the way. I choose to do this to myself. My reasoning is this:

The more work I take on, the more I get accomplished.

Yes, I often don’t get everything done.

And with more responsibilities, the the not-done part increases too.

But by my math, 75% of 200 is bigger than 95% of 100.

Perhaps, if you too are struggling to be fully productive, then this counter-intuitive math can help you in some way.

And if you want advance notice of a copywriting project that’s contributing to my drawing and quartering right now, the consider looking down this path:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The power of negative thinking

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“Just go talk to her!”

I was walking on the street a few days ago. The sun was shining, there was a cool breeze, and lots of good-looking women were out and about.

Each time one of these monsters passed by, wrapped up in her headphones, masked with her sunglasses, I would tell myself to go talk to her.

Of course, all that happened is that I tensed up.

These women on parade were too intimidating.

​​Or too busy.

​​Or too something.

In the past, I’d tried hyping myself up.

“What’s the big deal?” I would say. “She’d probably be super happy to get a compliment. And maybe you will hit it off. It could be a win-win!”

That would always get me excited. And that was all.

Because more good-looking women would pass by…

And I still wouldn’t go talk to any of them.

So a few days ago, I did the opposite. I told myself the ugly truth:

“Why not just go home? You probably won’t talk to any of these women. It’s too hard. Or maybe you’re just too weak. Or not good enough at problem solving. Whatever the reason, odds are you’re wasting your time. You should probably just head home.”

If you’ve ever read Jim Camp’s Start With No, you might recognize this as a “negative stripline.”

That’s when you’re in a negotiation, and your adversary is having doubts, concerns, or vague bad feelings.

At this point, according to Camp, the worst thing you can do is to paint a sunny and bright picture.

Instead, you want to be honest. Brutally honest.

“You’re probably right,” Camp would say to such an adversary. “This probably won’t work out. It’s probably best if we just cut off this negotiation right now and stop wasting your time.”

What happens when you do this?

Well, all I can say is what happened to me. I finally got to talking to some beautiful, intimidating women. Because the negative stripline works even when your negotiating adversary is yourself.

So if you’re not seeing real results from the power of positive thinking, whether in social situations, or in business…

Then try negative thinking.

And whatever you do, don’t let me know how it works out for you.

Channeling the coleslaw of attraction

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A few days ago I was talking to a friend when, like a snake in the grass, he sprang on me with a deadly question:

“What do you think of the law of attraction?”

Uff.

​​I told him two things. And if you want, I’ll tell you as well.

First, I think the law of attraction doesn’t have to be actually true, but if it makes you act like it’s true, then it will still help.

And two, even though I don’t actually believe the law of attraction to be real…

Sometimes I experience weird coincidences that make me say, what the hell do I know?

Because I read an interview several years ago, and it changed the way I see the world. The interview was with a cognitive scientist named Donald Hoffman, whose big thing is claiming that “reality” is not real.

Hoffman had all sorts of technical explanations for why this is true.

But all I remember is a powerful metaphor he used.

If you turn on your computer, said Hoffman, you’ve got a desktop.

On that desktop, there are likely to be some files lying around.

It’s a useful way of thinking about the computer and what it does.

Of course, it’s completely untrue. Those files are not on the desktop. In fact, there isn’t even any such thing as a file (the way you think of it). What you really have is a bunch of random electrical signals, cut up and spread around your hard drive, along with algorithms for how to piece this vibrating mess together and present it in a meaningful way.

It’s all a big mishmash and it’s way too complex to be useful to an end user.

And that’s why the little file icon, sitting pretty on your desktop and ready for you to double-click it, is so useful.

This desktop-and-file-icon idea is Hoffman’s metaphor for every mental concept.

And to me that includes the law of attraction.

Sure, it’s just a made up way of looking at the world.

But if the messy true nature of the world (the coleslaw of attraction?) is too complex for our limited minds to grasp…

Then why not choose the most helpful and useful file icons to help yourself manage it?

Anyways, that’s the way I look at it, after reading the Hoffman interview and discovering his desktop metaphor.

Anyways, that’s the way I look at it, after reading the Hoffman interview and discovering his desktop metaphor.

Maybe this will help you in case you too can be too rational and skeptical at times.

For less ethereal discussions, such as how to write advertorials that spawn clients out of the ether, channel your positive energy and direct it this way:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

An ode to hate and burnout

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I worked late last night.

In fact, I worked from around 9:30am, into the afternoon, and, with a quick break to go for a swim, until around 10pm.

Along with working on my own projects, I had promised a client I would deliver some copy — an advertorial and a FB ad for a new product. And though it wouldn’t have been a major crisis had I not delivered last night, the promised deadline drove me to finish.

And I did. I got both the advertorial and the FB ad done. I was happy with the copy.

But I’m paying for it today. I feel burned out.

I’m staring at my feet.

Hours are passing and my daily todo list remains untouched.

I might fill up a bucket with ice water later and dunk my head in it over and over.

The point is that, for me, work never seems to get easier. I know I don’t deal well with long workdays. That’s why I’ve organized my life so I almost never have them. But even when I churn through my usual, not very taxing days, I have to will myself to work.

Even though I like my work.

Even though I’ve managed to create a comfortable life for myself by working this way.

In other words, even though I’ve “arrived” by any criterion I would have set for myself 5 years ago. This reminded me of something I’d read in a James Altucher post a few weeks ago:

I got an email, “You’re ugly. Shut the F up.”

It was the first time I got hate mail. I had an opinion about the stock market, wrote it, then got this email. It was 2002.

I showed a friend of mine. “That’s a badge of honor. It means people are paying attention to you.”

“Or it could just mean people think I’m ugly.”

Altucher writes that after almost 20 years of being in the spotlight, after 20 years of getting such messages, it still hurts him when people say hateful things to him. Which to me was reassuring. Here’s a guy who’s much further along than I am. And he still struggles.

I’m not sure that, with my fried brain today, I can formulate the point I’m trying to make. But there is a point. Maybe you can see it.

Anyways, if you’re looking to find out how I write advertorials, and how I manage to get the research and the writing squeezed down to its most efficient form, you might be interested in the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The sales secret of girls who “AirPod” it in

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I read an Atlantic article today titled, The Case for Wearing AirPods All the Time.”

The case, according to author Marina Koren, is that it keeps women safe — or at least a bit safer – from various sidewalk catcallers, escalator harassers, and assorted bus and subway pervs.

And you know what? I agree with Marina. And this is coming from one such sidewalk harasser.

As I’ve written before, I have previously had and continue to have the habit of occasionally stopping a girl on the street to tell her she looks nice.

Most of the time, the girl will say thank you and then continue on her way.

Sometimes, we get into a short conversation.

On occasion, it goes much further.

The thing is, it’s never stopped me if a girl has her headphones in. But I know other guys, who would like to do the same thing I do, for whom it’s a deal breaker. “She must be on the phone,” they say. “If only she’d take her headphones out, I’d go and talk to her.”

So yes, I definitely agree with Marina Koren. I encourage more girls to wear headphones all the time to discourage all those other guys.

The incredible thing, however, is that the girls who seem most unapproachable are actually “airpodding” it in.

Sure, they have those things in their ears to present a barrier to guys they don’t want to talk to. But once that barrier is overcome, many of those girls turn out to be very ready to stop and chat — and yes, even to a stranger on the street.

At least, that’s been my experience.

And I don’t think I’m completely crazy or so far down Harasser Lane that I’ve lost touch with reality.

In fact, I think this approach of “airpodding it in” is a common feature of human nature.

I remember listening to an interview with sales trainer Stan Billue who discovered that leads who seem most guarded, off-putting, and hostile to a sales pitch were that way because they were actually the best and easiest opportunities — if you could only get past their spiky exterior.

Maybe that’s something to keep in mind the next time you’re evaluating an opportunity, whether personal or financial. And maybe consider that the more repulsed you are by the difficulty of a situation, the better the situation might actually be.

You might even find that closing such opportunities is very simple. You might just have to say something like:

In case you’re looking for info on how to write effective sales copy — specifically emails — then I might have a thing to help you out. Simply go here and see if it’s a fit for you:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Memorial Day master lessons with Tony Robbins

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“Instead of your spirit animal, what is your spirit plant?”
“Rhododendron. Requires very specific conditions, but even when those conditions are met, it is unlikely to thrive.”
– Reddit user fhost344

As I was riding through the streets of New York today, I noticed how calm the city looked.

It’s Memorial Day, and most people have the day off and are taking it easy.

And since it’s such a calm and reflective day, I wanted to share some deep and reflective stuff with you.

It’s a fraction of a 13-year-old Ted talk given by Tony Robbins.

Says Tony, there are two master lessons in life.

One is the science of achievement.

That’s what most of us focus on all the time: “How do you make your dreams happen? Your business, your contribution to society, money — whatever, your body, your family.”

The second is the art of fulfillment.

That, according to Tony, is about appreciation and contribution.

And like the rhododendron fail-to-thriver above, many of us don’t do too much about this second master lesson, even if we have all the resources we might want or need.

The point being, its never too early to start thinking about how to appreciate, enjoy yourself, and give back. These aren’t things you should wait to do until you achieve some massive level of success.

Of course, if you are like me, then mastering the art of fulfillment won’t come too easy…

And it might take time.

That’s why you might as well get started on it now.

So no pitch from me for today.

But in case you want a whirlwind overview of the magical world of success and fulfillment, courtesy of Tony Robbins, here’s the link to that Ted talk:

Dread Pirate Leonardo’s to-do list

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Leonardo Da Vinci used to keep many notebooks and in some of them, he entered his daily to-do items. It’s not your typical laundry list:

– Examine the Crossbow of Mastro Giannetto
– Ask about the measurement of the sun promised me by Maestro Giovanni Francese
– Draw Milan

When did Leonardo find time to do all this plus paint the Mona Lisa plus design the first tank plus make important anatomical discoveries?

I don’t know.

But I suspect he had the same attitude as Westley from The Princess Bride.

Westley is just a poor stable boy when he sets off into the world to make his fortune.

But before he gets anywhere, his ship is captured by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never takes prisoners. So when Westley offers to become Roberts’ valet, the Dread Pirate agrees, but just for that one day.

In the evening, Roberts says, “Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”

This goes on each day. Westley learns as much as he can in that one day. He makes himself as useful as he can aboard the Revenge, DPR’s fearsome ship.

And each night, he hears the same. “Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”

In time, Westley becomes a master of fencing, he learns how to run a pirate ship, and he even inherits the title of “Dread Pirate Roberts” when the current Dread Pirate Roberts decides to retire.

And he does it all done one day at a time.

With the threat of imminent death hanging over him.

Which is basically the situation we all find ourselves in.

So personally, when I get overwhelmed with future plans and goals and things I’d like to accomplish but I haven’t even started on yet…

I just remember the encouraging words of the Dread Pirate Roberts — “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning” — and resolve to learn and do as much as I can for today.

That might be something to consider if you’re feeling overwhelmed with your own to-dos. And if learning how to write effective sales emails is among your to-dos, then check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

How to become a multimillionaire if you’re not smart or lucky

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Yesterday, I watched a video by Mark Ford in which he shares his 7 essential elements for wealth building.

If you know about direct response marketing, odds are you’ve heard of Mark or his work.

He’s one of the guys who built up Agora into a $500 million (soon to be $1 billion?) business.

He also started AWAI, a training school for copywriters.

He’s got stakes in other multi-million dollar companies, owns dozens of real estate developments, and — as if all his other activities aren’t enough — he is also a broker of fine art from Latin America.

Mark’s personal wealth is not public, but based on hints he drops, I assume it’s in the tens-of-millions to hundreds-of-millions range. In spite of this, he will flatly claim he is not smarter or luckier than other people. When a guy like this decides to share his advice on wealth building, it makes sense to listen.

So, according to Mark Ford, here are the 7 elements you should have to become almost as rich as he is:

1. Time
2. Financially valuable skills (one or more of marketing, selling, creating, managing, and buying)
3. A high net investable income
4. Knowledge of how individual businesses create profits in individual industries
5. Seeking average returns for each asset class
6. Diversity among 4-5 asset classes
7. Risk aversion

In the video, Mark admits this list isn’t sexy. But, he says, he’s discovered (along with Bill Bonner, the founder of Agora) that…

“…there is an inverse relationship between the value of knowledge and what people are willing to pay for it. The most important things in life you’ve probably heard a hundred times before, but you’re not paying attention. When you’re in the right place and you hear it, you have that ‘aha’ moment and everything changes.”

Like I said, when a guy like Mark Ford speaks, it makes sense to listen.

At least that’s what I’m doing. I guess I’m on a decent path because I’m well along in developing a financially valuable skill — marketing.

In case you’re more of the creating or managing type, then we might be able to help each other out. Get in touch with me, and we can discuss how to get richer together.

My number one productivity tip for fellow white rabbits

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Major Valerie “Twitch” Wetzbarger is an instructor pilot with the 56th Fighter Wing of the US Air Force.

She is also one of the very few pilots who get to fly the F-35, the multi-billion-dollar stealth fighter that Lockheed Martin has been developing over the past decade or so.

Asked what lessons she has drawn from flying the F-35 (which is essentially a sentient death rocket that melds with the pilot’s body and shoots her into the clouds at 1,200 miles per hour), Major Wetzbarger commented:

“Some of my favorite advice is, ‘Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.’ This means slow down, do your part right the first time, and that will be quicker in the end.”

I read the above quote a few weeks ago, and it resonated with me. So I’ve taken Major Wetzbarger’s advice and I’ve refashioned it for myself:

“Go slow, and do one thing at a time.”

It’s been working very well. I’ve been getting more done by slowing down, plus I feel much better during the day. But here’s an important disclaimer:

This productivity tip works for me.

That’s because my brain is like a skittish white rabbit that makes its home in the future and only rarely and briefly comes into the present.

In other words, I’m always thinking about things that are coming up — and never things that are here.

Not only is this a recipe for being inefficient with whatever I’m working on, it’s also a recipe for needless worry and stress (“Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting!”)

And that’s why, if you do NOT have the problem of constantly living in the future, I won’t presume to give you productivity advice.

On the other hand, if you have the same white rabbit tendency as I do, then try slowing down instead of hurrying up. It might make a lot of difference in what you get done.

And finally, if you want some profitable info on email marketing and copywriting, specifically for the health space, then take the following steps very slowly and one at a time:

1. Click on the link below
2. Read over the short offer that’s described there
3. If it suits you, sign up with your email
4. And witness how good and productive you feel

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/