Segmentation

Idiots competing for a job

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“As you can see, it’s just not working.”

I recently watched an old but still funny Mitchell and Webb skit. In the skit, the comedy duo play two TV execs. They are reviewing a failing Apprentice-like show, in which a group of office workers compete for a prestigious job.

“Maybe that’s the problem,” says Mitchell.

“Go on,” says Webb.

“How would it be if instead, it was idiots competing for a relatively junior job?”

“Idiots?”

“Yeah. We deliberately pick sixteen idiots. Real idiots. Assholes as well. And then we get to watch them screw everything up.”

At this point, I had to pause the skit so I could write down the thoughts that had bubbled up in my head. Like several other times during Mitchell and Webb skits, I realized this was a comedy illustration of a genuine and valuable marketing trick.

I wrote that down and then I clicked play again.

“Maybe it can work,” says Webb. “But only for a season, right? Once people can see that all contestants are idiots, no one will want to apply.”

Mitchell shakes his head and smiles. “Idiots will. In fact, it will make the application process a lot easier because we’ll only get idiots.”

So there you go:

A valuable marketing trick hidden inside an old but still funny Mitchell and Webb skit.

If you think on it for a bit, maybe your own thoughts will bubble up, and you will see how you use this trick to transform something in your own business that’s just not working.

Or if you can’t figure that out, I got an offer for you:

This same idea is discussed in much more detail inside my Copy Riddles program, specifically in round 17.

Because this trick applies to copywriting as well as to marketing.

This trick is not hard to do, but it’s also not something you will see people doing instinctively, or might want to do instinctively yourself.

And yet it makes copy better, and can be used and applied way beyond the words you use to sell more, or to sell some, if you’re selling nothing right now.

For more info on this trick, and on Copy Riddles:

https://bejakovic.com/cr/

1-2 approach to reduce Twitter ad costs by 86%

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Adventures in paid traffic:

I’m running Twitter ads to grow my Morning Brew-like health newsletter. The same batch of ads in different ad groups, using different ways of targeting people.

Terrible results. The best I could do was targeting a bunch of keywords naturally connected to the topic of my newsletter.

New subscriber cost? $14.04. Scary.

I then went and looked at a bunch of profiles of people who signed up. Their Twitter descriptions, what they were sharing. It wasn’t health. It was investing.

So I created a new ad group, targeting investing keywords entirely unrelated to my newsletter.

New subscriber cost? $1.99.

The usual caveats apply:

The quality of any of these subscribers is not clear, since I haven’t tried selling anything to them yet beyond the optin. It’s not even clear if they will stay engaged and open my newsletter in case I sell ads in the future.

Still, if you’re running paid traffic for your newsletter, consider the above 1-2 approach. It might help you find entirely new, unexpected segments of the market that might be a good fit for what you do.

Also, if you are running paid traffic to grow your newsletter or email list, and you’ve spent $500 or more, write in and let me know. I have something you might like.

Guy rebuffs my attempt at cross-promotion

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A report from the trenches:

I’m working on growing my health email newsletter, which I launched a few months ago.

One part of what I’m doing is reaching out to other newsletters to offer to cross-promote. I’ve been contacting newsletters of a similar size to mine, who share some common elements with mine:

– sent out weekly
– news-related
– “proven” — make an emphasis on providing references or sources
– is made up of actual paragraphs of text that people read, rather than just a collection of links

I’ve had a few people take me up on my cross-promotion offer. But one guy, whose weekly newsletter is for people who want to “stay on top of the current issues and that like to read more than just bulletpoints,” was not interested in my offer. He wrote me to say:

===

I don’t think this partnership would work out, basically because I’ve done it before and the clicks were very, very low. Also, I don’t think there’s a great overlap in the content of our two newsletters.

===

As Dan Kennedy might say about that first reason, if we all stopped doing something if the first time was a fail, the human race would soon die out. There’d be no more babies born.

But what about that other reason? About content overlap?

It’s very sensible to only sell competitive duck herding products to competitive duck herding enthusiasts.

But most offers are not that one-dimensional.

The “world’s greatest list broker,” Michael Fishman, was once tasked with finding new lists to promote an investment newsletter.

Michael suggested a list of buyers of a product called Big Money Pro Golf Secrets. The publisher of the investment newsletter said, “We’ve tried golf lists before, they don’t work for us.”

Michael said, “No problem. It’s not a golf list. Think about who would buy a book called Big Money Pro Golf Secrets. I don’t care if it’s Big Money Pro Flower Secrets. Anybody who would respond to that language is somebody whose door we want to knock on.”

Point being, if you have something that’s not as narrow in appeal as duck herding, there are many dimensions along which you can expand your market, beyond the obvious topic or content or promise of what you’re selling. ​

​ By the way, Michael Fishman is somebody worth listening to. I’ve read and watched and listened to everything I could find online by the guy. I make a habit of occasionally searching the Internet to see if anything new has cropped up.

If you want a place to start, here’s a great interview that Michael Fishman did with Michael Senoff of Hard to Find Seminars:

https://www.hardtofindseminars.com/Michael_Fishman_Interview.htm

Reddit vs. Hacker News: How to get better customers, clients, readers, and business partners

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Paul Graham is a computer programmer, writer, and early-stage tech investor.

His startup fund, Y Combinator, helped start a bunch of famous companies, like Airbnb, Dropbox, DoorDash, Instacart, Zapier, and Reddit.

The total valuation of all Y Combinator companies is now over $400 billion. Y Combinator owns 7% of that, or roughly $30 billion.

Really, the only reason I know this is because I’ve been a regular reader of Hacker News for the past 14+ years.

Hacker News is a news board. Graham started it in 2006 as a way of sharing interesting ideas and getting connected to tech talent. Today, Hacker News gets over five million readers each month.

I’ve been thinking about creating something similar, just with a different focus. So I was curious to read Graham’s 2009 article, What I Learned From Hacker News, about the early experience of creating and running HN.

This bit stood out to me:

But what happened to Reddit won’t inevitably happen to HN. There are several local maxima. There can be places that are free for alls and places that are more thoughtful, just as there are in the real world; and people will behave differently depending on which they’re in, just as they do in the real world.

I’ve observed this in the wild. I’ve seen people cross-posting on Reddit and Hacker News who actually took the trouble to write two versions, a flame for Reddit and a more subdued version for HN.

Maybe this only stood out to me because something I’ve thought and written about before.

Your content, marketing, and offers select a certain type of audience. That much is obvious.

What is less obvious is that your content and marketing and offers also change people. Because none of us is only one type of person all the time.

So if you want an audience that’s smarter, that’s more respectful, that’s more thoughtful and less scatterbrained, then make it clear that’s what you expect. And lead by example.

This can be transformative in your everyday dealings with clients, customers, readers, and prospects. And who knows. It might even become the foundation on which you build a future online community.

If you found this interesting, you might like my email newsletter. You can sign up for it here.

Why do scammers say they are from Nigeria?

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According a site that tracks online fraud, 51% of all scam emails mention Nigeria.

It seems self-defeating. Everybody knows it’s a scam. The “Nigerian prince” has become a stock joke.

So what gives? Are scammers so dumb? Don’t they know that everyone is on to them?

Well, we now have the answer, thanks to Cormac Herley, a researcher at Microsoft.

Herley came up with a mathematical model of the scammer’s dilemma.

And after a lot pencil sharpening… crumpled-up papers… and banging his fist on the desk… Herley finally solved his mathematical equations.

The answer to “Nigerian scammer” riddle is this:

1. Sending out spam emails is pretty close to free.

2. But “selling” the prospects who reply to those emails takes time and effort.

3. And so scammers want their front-end marketing to repel everybody but the most gullible. Because…

Those are the only people who the scammer can hope to profit from. That’s why scammers say they are from Nigeria… exactly because it sets off warning sirens to almost everyone except real prospects.

Ok, maybe this isn’t the kind of mind-blowing conclusion that required a bunch of fancy math.

But still, it sounds like a solid second argument for what Ben Settle calls repulsion marketing.

The first argument is psychological:

By saying things that repel the people you don’t want… you create a tighter bond with the people you do want. Because if you’re not saying anything to piss off a few people, you’re not saying anything to make anybody bond with you, either.

But the Microsoft research gives us a more practical reason to repel.

Because these days, there are a bunch of ways to get a bunch of free prospects. For example:

You can implement Daniel Throssell’s “Referral Magnet” strategy to create a kind of flywheel for new email subscribers…

Or you can post your stuff on your blog and let Google serve it up to the world forever…

Or you can go into popular Facebook groups, and spread your peacock tail for all to admire.

Free. All of it. But then comes the second step:

Fielding questions/requests/offers from prospects… dealing with customer service… handling refunds if you offer them.

All of these things have a real cost, whether in terms of time, actual work, or simply your psychological well-being.

So my takeaway for you is:

Start repelling people. Or get off my list.

Because as freelance forensic consultant Sherlock Holmes once said:

“When you have eliminated all who would be impossible or improfitable to sell, then whoever remains, however improbable, must be your prospect.”

Are you still reading?

Damn. I tried so hard to repel you. In that case, the only thing left for me to do, even though it hurts me to do it, is to offer you a spot on my email newsletter. Click here and fill out the form.

The king’s evil

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“‘Tis called the ‘evil:’
A most miraculous work in this good king;
Which often, since my here-remain in England,
I have seen him do.”

For centuries, English and French kings used to claim they had a divine gift. They had the “king’s touch,” which could heal disease on contact.

Mostly, these monarchs specialized in healing one disease — a nasty condition called scrofula. This was a tumor-like lump on the neck, along with ruptured skin there.

Scrofula even became known as the “king’s evil.” If you had the evil, you could push your way towards the king… get touched… and with almost miraculous certainty, be healed. In this way, the “king’s touch” gave the monarchs a special authority and position, separate from the money and power they controlled.

“Yeah yeah,” I hear you saying. “Enough with the history lesson. Tell me how I can make money.”

All right. So continuing with my recent series, here’s a great way to make money, one I first heard from Ben Settle:

Charge premium prices. $97/month for a 16-page print newsletter… $499/month for access to an insiders’ community… $986 for a paperback book.

There are good practical reasons for this premium price strategy. Ben explains it by saying he’d rather have four quarters than 100 pennies.

Sure, both might add up to $1.

But it takes a lot less work to pick up four quarters than a hundred pennies… plus the quarters are likely to have changed hands less often and therefore be cleaner… plus they are easier to carry than a clunky jar full of copper.

So there’s that.

But there’s another, more powerful reason to charge premium prices.

It goes back to the king’s touch… and the king’s evil. Because scrofula rarely resulted in death, and it usually disappeared on its own. That was the explanation for the kings’ divine gift.

And in a similar way, along with a few other things Ben does, premium prices select a special part of your market.

They select the part that was most likely to succeed anyhow. That was most likely to succeed with your guidance… or with somebody else’s guidance… or without guidance at all, just with some extra time.

And just to be clear — I’m not trying to take away anything from the stuff Ben teaches. There are many profitable ideas inside his paid products. Many I’ve personally used and made money from.

But if you take the extra step, like Ben does, to get those ideas into the hands of people who will most likely succeed, sooner or later, one way or another… well, once they do succeed, you can credibly claim to have the divine gift. The king’s touch. A special authority and positioning, separate from your marketing or the quality of products you sell.

But you say you want more scrofulous business and marketing ideas.

Well I’m not surprised. But I am quite sleepy. So if you do want more, sign up to my email newsletter, and I’ll have a new marketing idea ready for you tomorrow.

The trouble with selling to late 50s white guys with money

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Brian Kurtz sent an interesting email today about list selection, with the following thought:

The question I wanted an answer to, in living color, although a black and white copy would do:

‘What was the promotion that got the name.’

I believe the logic behind this kind of list research applies to all media today even though most of the lists you use online don’t have data cards attached to them.

Lists are people too… and finding out as much about them — how they think, how they respond, how they read, what they read — are components you can find out before you ever send a promotion to them.

Like Brian says, this is still relevant today, as long as you’re selling anything to anybody.

Because the standard advice is to do a bunch of research on your customers or prospects. Who they are. What problems they have. What language they use.

Not bad. And certainly much better than just pulling your advertising out of your own head.

Better still is knowing what these people bought. (If they bought one copywriting course, there’s a good chance they will buy another.)

But what’s best is what Brian says. Find out “how they think, how they respond, how they read, what they read.” You get that from the type of advertising these people bought from — or didn’t buy from.

Some people respond to hype- and intrigue-filled direct response copy. Others respond to quick and brandy TV-style commercials. Others still might not respond to either, but will respond to independent recommendations, or stuff that they find through their own research.

Because lists are people too. And two people can have the same demographics… the same buying history… and yet still be very different, in the kinds of things that get them stirred to action.

James Hetfield (of Metallica) and George Clooney (of ER) are both late 50s white guys with millions of dollars in the bank. They are also both Tesla owners.

And yet, I imagine it might take a whole different appeal to move George than to move Papa Het — and vice versa. It’s something to be mindful of, if you run any kind of advertising, and if you don’t want to go bankrupt.

Zoolander-safe direct response levers

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Maybe you know the graveyard scene from the absurd comedy Zoolander:

Derek Zoolander, a really really good-looking male model played by Ben Stiller, meets former hand model JP Prewett, played by David Duchovny.

They’re meeting in a graveyard at night. Because Duchovny has a dangerous secret to reveal… male models committed all the biggest assassinations in history! And Derek is next in line.

“But why male models?” Derek asks.

“Because they are perfect,” Duchovny says. Male models are in peak physical condition… they get access to the most exclusive locations… and they don’t think for themselves.

Derek ponders on this for a minute. And then he scrunches up his forehead, pouts out his lips, and asks,

“But why male models?”

Don’t judge.
​​
Because for years, I was asking one question in the same stupid way. And then earlier this week, I heard a marketing talk by Dan Kennedy.

The subject was segmentation. It’s not a complicated concept:

You have your audience or your space of prospects. But instead of marketing to everybody… you market to only a segment of the whole.

“But why segmentation?”

Lean in Derek. I’ll tell you the explanations I’d heard for years.

Segmentation is the only way to make expensive direct mail work. You only pay to mail to people who are most likely to buy your offer.

“Ok, go on…”​​

Segmentation is also a smart way to avoid pissing off your email subscribers. Don’t send them stuff they don’t care about, and they won’t unsubscribe.

“I see…”

But I didn’t really. I kept pondering on this many times over the years.

And like Derek Zoolander, each time I scrunched up my forehead, pouted out my lips, and asked once again,

“But why segmentation?”

Well, it finally clicked. Or rather, I heard Dan Kennedy explain it, and it pierced my thick male-model skull.

The real reason you segment is to increase response.

Because when you segment your list, you know something extra about the people you are writing to. You can take that extra info and stuff it into your message.

For example:​
​
R​ather than mailing out a sales letter with the headline, “How to increase your IQ by 30 points in the next 90 days”…

Your headline can read, “How beautiful but dimwitted male models can get equally beautiful brains before Milan Fashion Week 2021.”

When you segment, your message becomes more targeted. Your copy becomes more specific. And your response becomes more up.

This is just one of the many simple direct response levers that even Zoolander could pull to make an unprofitable campaign profitable… or to make a worthless business worthwhile.

Which brings me to my offer of partnership and investment opportunity from yesterday. In case you didn’t read it, you can read the archived version here.