Copywriting

Fear v. glory

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This past weekend I finally broke down and listened to an interview with Dr. Andrew Huberman.

Even though I’ve never listened to Dr. Andrew speak before, I’ve written about him in this newsletter.

That’s because the man is a phenomenon.

He’s been the fastest-rising podcaster of the past year or so. An international celebrity. I’ve heard talk of him from a half dozen entirely unrelated people, living in as many separate countries.

Anyways, among the many novel recommendations Dr. Andrew has for your health, one is:

Several times a day, practice panoramic vision.

Find a place that allows you to look off into the distance, so the immediate details around you melt away.

It’s a physical equivalent of mentally seeing the bigger picture. And like with so many other things, the physical and mental equivalents are linked, or so Dr. Andrew says. According to the research in his lab at Stanford University, “panoramic vision practice” lowers stress hormones yadda yadda.

All right, and now for marketing:

Yesterday, the “Wizard of Ads,” Roy H. Williams (not a doctor), wrote a very interesting email.

Even though I’ve never listened to Roy H. speak before, I’ve written about him in this newsletter.

That’s because the man is a phenomenon.

He’s written several books about advertising that have sold well. He appears to head an international advertising agency. Plus he has a weekly email newsletter.

Anyways, among the many novel recommendations Roy H. has for your marketing, one is:

Reframe pain v. gain as fear v. glory.

People are very reluctant to experience pain, says Roy. But they are only modestly motivated by gain. Pleasure is not much more motivating.

Instead, what you want is for your prospect to look off into the distance, so the immediate details around him melt away.

It’s a mental equivalent of panoramic vision practice. And like so many other things, the physical and mental equivalents are linked, or so Roy H. says. According to the research in his kitchen somewhere in Texas, reframing pain as fear and gain as glory lowers your prospect’s buying resistance yadda yadda.

All right, and now for sales, our last topic for today:

Ever since I started selling my Most Valuable Email training, one of the claims I’ve made is that you can get through this course in an hour and start applying the MVE trick right after.

And it’s true, but it’s also marketing hype. As Spanish A-list copywriter Rafa Casas wrote me:

“Thanks for the course. It’s true that it can be read in an hour, but it needs more resting time and practice to get the full potential out of it. Which is a lot.”

You know, and I know, that if you do go through this training, quick and brief though it is, that’s when the real work starts.

In order to get any real-world benefit out of my Most Valuable Email, you will need to apply the MVE trick yourself dozens or maybe hundreds of times, over the course of months or maybe years.

Maybe that amount of work scares you. Maybe you’re afraid of the commitment, or maybe you’re simply afraid to set your mind to it and then fail.

Those are serious things to worry about. I won’t lie to you and say that they’re not.

On the other hand, imagine the acclaim, praise, and yes, even pride you can win if you do manage to get the full potential out of this course. Imagine:

Readers writing to you regularly to say you’ve blown their minds…

Industry heavy-hitters sending you endorsements and treating you like an equal…

And most important of all, the knowledge inside that you’ve accomplished something in spite of your own fears, that you’ve got a valuable skill that nobody can take away from you, that you can feel good about yourself for doing something that few other people were willing to do.

The choice is yours. If you’re willing to act:

http://bejakovic.com/mve/

“Steal” a secret from the master email copywriter

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Yesterday I read an article about an American named Ryan Neil, who spent 6 years living in Japan, apprenticing to become a bonsai master.

During those 6 years, Neil was beaten, humiliated, exploited, and encouraged at every step to quit. In between the abuse, he didn’t even get taught anything, not directly. From the article by Robert Moor:

“Neil learned that an apprentice is rarely given overt lessons; he is expected to watch out of the corner of his eye and ‘steal’ his master’s secrets.”

This reminded me of a curious thing I had spotted recently by watching Ben Settle out of the corner of my eye.

Day after day, I noticed the same pattern. Something Ben was doing, probably consciously, to make his emails easier and more fun to read.

But maybe it was all in my mind. So I went back this morning and checked the past 30 days of Ben’s emails.

It seems elBenbo has been busy recently, because the past two weeks of his emails have almost all been reader questions or testimonials, leading quickly into an offer. Those emails didn’t show the pattern I had spotted.

But the two weeks before are where I noticed the pattern. I spotted it in 8 out of 14 of Ben’s emails during that period.

Now as a matter of transparency, let me say:

1. Yes, you can really call this a secret, because it makes content much more engaging and easy to consume, and yet most marketers don’t use it nearly as often as they could or should…

2. Yes, you can even call it a trick, because it’s quick and easy to do…

3. No, it will not sound particularly sexy or revolutionary when you hear it. But such are most of the things that Ben does. And yet he’s still really the master of email copy.

And in case you’re wondering:

I’m not talking about teasing, trying to get a no, or writing bullet-inspired subject lines.

I’m talking about a specific trick to do with infotainment. It’s more subtle than any of the techniques above, and probably more powerful as well, at least for getting people to come back and consume more of your writing.

Also, it’s something I’ve never seen him talk about in any of his paid products, or for that matter, anywhere else.

So here’s the deal:

If you’ve bought my Most Valuable Email training already, and you have a hunch of what trick I’m referring to, then write me and make your best guess. I will confirm if you’re right, and I will spell it out otherwise.

And if you have not yet bought my Most Valuable Email training, and you’d like to know this trick, then can consider this secret an extra bonus, live for the next 24 hours.

Buy the Most Valuable Email in the next 24 hours, until Tuesday Dec 6 at 8:33 CET, and along with the other bonuses I offer with the training. I will then write you separately, explaining Ben Settle’s infotainment secret and giving examples from his emails.

Of course, a​fter the deadline tomorrow, you can still buy the MVE training. But if you buy after tomorrow, I won’t share this extra bonus with you.

To get a jump on that deadline:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

Looks like I’ve won a $1,000 copywriting gig!

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About two months ago, I found out about an exciting copywriting gig:

An online publication was looking for content writers. The pay was $250 per article of about 750 words. Articles could come in a thematic series of 4.

I came up with an idea for a 4-part series, wrote up a nice little proposal, and sent it off to the editor of the publication.

And then, as nothing seemed to be happening, I forgot all about it.

Fast forward to two weeks ago:

The editor wrote back to me to say my idea sounds wonderful. And if I can get her the first drafts by December 16, my articles could be published as soon as January. And once my articles are published, inshallah, I will get paid $1k!

There once was a time, not even so many years ago, when I would have gladly taken on this kind of work without any ulterior motive.

But today, it takes a little something extra to get me excited.

So here’s the something extra:

This online publication is The Professional Writers’ Alliance. From what I understand, PWA is a paid community of freelance copywriters, somewhere under the umbrella of AWAI.

Are you getting a glimpse of my devious scheme?

I write some interesting and valuable content for PWA, and include a byline and a link to my site…

Some freelance copywriter out there reads my content and decides to get on my email list to read more…

I send him a few more well meaning emails and then—

BAM! I sell him one of my offers that might be interesting to freelance copywriters.

All right, writing guest content as a means of self-promotion is probably not new to you. What might be new to you is the following suggestion:

Look for ways to get paid for your self-promotion.

Of course, it’s not always possible, but it is more possible than you might at first think.

For example, did you know it’s possible to get paid to send out your sales letters to your audience, either online or by mail?

In other words, rather than having to pay either the USPS to deliver your stuffed-and-enveloped sales letter… or having to pay Facebook to get eyeballs that will look at your sales page… you can actually get paid each time a high-quality prospect reads your sales pitch?

It’s true, and it’s actually what I will be writing about for the PWA in January.

If you’ve been reading my emails for a while, you probably know this get-paid-to-advertise trick. And if not, I might write more about it in the coming weeks.

To get on my email list so you can read that (beware, I might try to sell you something), click here and fill out the form that appears.

Hot takes are dead… here’s why

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About six months ago, I wrote an email that for some reason I never sent. In that email, I wondered what had happened to James Altucher’s writing.

The background is this:

James Altucher is an online personality, a podcaster and also writer who used to write daily.

James is one of few people whose daily writing I enjoyed reading. Plus I’ve gotten multiple really valuable ideas from James that have transformed how I work.

James used to write regularly on his own site.

But his last post there came on June 15 2021. Since then he’s published a few pieces on other sites including LinkedIn, but his writing has largely disappeared.

There aren’t many people online that I would miss if they got swallowed by a sinkhole.

But James Altucher is one, largely because I’ve found his writing both insightful and valuable.

So I was wondering what happened to his writing and wishing somebody could tell me.

Well, I found out. James revealed it himself on a recent podcast.

Back in August 2020, he wrote an article titled, “New York City is dead forever… here’s why.”

James lived most of his life in NYC, but in that article, he predicted the death of the city based on the effects of the corona pandemic.

That article went very viral. It got a huge amount of readership, and also a huge amount of blowback.

And maybe most painful to James, who used to own a comedy club, “The New York is dead” piece got Jerry Seinfeld to write a trolling response in the lying New York Times in which he only referred to James as “some putz on LinkedIn.”

With all that blowback, and the personal attack by Jerry Seinfeld, James gradually retreated from writing. Maybe he will get his courage back to write daily. Or maybe he won’t.

I’m not sure what my point is. I guess there are many.

Such as, it’s harder to not care what people think that most of us would like.

Such as, don’t pick on people who are known to be combative (New Yorkers as a group, who knew about Jerry Seinfeld).

Such as, writing hot takes can burn you as well. And putting your own attitudes into your writing makes you vulnerable to personal attacks.

If you agree with me on these points, then what can you do?

Well, develop a tougher skin… only pick on people who will take it… or find some other way to get readership and attention than by writing hot takes and sharing your own personal attitudes.

I can’t help you with the skin part or with finding meek targets to pick on.

As for that last part, about other ways to get readership and attention, I can remind you of my Most Valuable Email trick.

A few of the emails I’ve written using my Most Valuable Email trick have gone semi-viral — they got unexpected forwards and shares in the small direct marketing community.

And using the Most Valuable Email trick allows me to write in a way that’s separate from what I believe personally. And yet my readers don’t mind this lack of “authenticity” — in fact, they even seem to enjoy it.

Maybe it’s not too clear how this can possibly be true.

If you’re curious, try out my email newsletter and witness it for yourself. Click here to sign up.

Good Will Hunting disease: Why you shouldn’t join Age of Insight

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“So why do you think I should work for the National Security Agency?”

Today is the last day to sign up for my Age of Insight live training. And since this is the last email I will send before the deadline, let me tell you why you shouldn’t sign up.

I call it Good Will Hunting disease.

As you might know, Good Will Hunting is movie about a tough-talking, blue-collar math genius from the slums of Boston, played by a young Matt Damon.

In one scene, Will is interviewing for a job at the NSA.

“You’d be working on the cutting edge,” says the NSA guy in a cocky sales pitch. “You’d be exposed to the kind of technology not seen anywhere else because it’s classified. Superstring theory. Chaos math. Advanced algorithms. So the question is, why shouldn’t you work for the NSA?”

Will nods his head and thinks. “Why shouldn’t I work for the NSA… That’s a tough one. But I’ll take a shot.”

And then he goes on a 2-minute rant, all about how he’d just be breaking codes the NSA, feeling good about doing his job well, but the real upshot of his work would be burned villages, dead American soldiers, lost factory jobs, drug epidemics, inflation, and poisoned baby seals.

Will finishes up his rant and smirks sarcastically. “So why shouldn’t I work for the NSA? I’m holding out for something better.”

Of course:

Your offer is nothing like a job at the NSA. And your pitch is nothing like the NSA recruiter’s pitch.

Still I bet you that your audience, on some level, suffers from Good Will Hunting disease.

Too smart. Too sophisticated. Too skeptical.

And if you need proof of it, just look inside yourself. Don’t you smirk and scoff and shrug off pitch for top-secret opportunities all the time, even if they are at the cutting edge, and even if they promise things you superstring theory and chaos math, or whatever the equivalent is in the marketing space?

And this is why I am not making a pitch for you to join the Age of Insight training. The only offer I will make you, unless you are holding out for something better, is to join my email list. Click here smart guy.

Remembering David Ogilvy

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Today is November 29th, which is neither the birthday nor the deathday of David Ogilvy. Still, I thought it might be a good idea to take a moment and remember the great man.

Because, as with another copywriting legend, Gary Halbert, the greatest promotion that David Ogilvy ever did was in promoting himself.

Today, more than 50 years after his heyday, Ogilvy remains the most famous ad man in history, and is really the only copywriter that a normie off the street might have heard of.

Why is that?

What lies behind Ogilvy’s enduring fame?

The way I figure, it comes down to three things.

​​Some part of it secret personal charisma.

Some part of it is luck.

And some part is the actual work Ogilvy produced.

Charisma and luck cannot be taught. Well, they can, but this is not that kind of newsletter. This is a newsletter which focuses on work — and how to make the work that you do more impactful, influential, long-lasting.

So what exactly did Ogilvy do? When I think of the man’s work, three snapshots come to mind:

1. The Rolls-Royce ad, “At 60 miles an hour…” That campaign shows you the value of being associated with a top-tier product, which largely writes its own advertising.

2. The man in the Hathaway shirt. The eyepatch. That shows you the power of creating a spectacle, of being instantly perceived as unique.

3. A 7-word soundbite Ogilvy wrote once, which I will not quote here, but which I bet you have heard before.

I bet you’ve heard it because I’ve quoted it before in this newsletter, and so have 99% of people who write about advertising, whether they knew it came from Ogilvy or not.

There’s some magic to this soundbite that makes it stick in people’s minds and that makes them want to repeat it — even though Ogilvy wrote it as just a throwaway in the middle of a 12,000-word ad.

Maybe you know the 7-word soundbite I have in mind.

Maybe you even know the magic that makes it stick in people’s minds beyond the millions of other words that Ogilvy wrote in his 50-year career.

And if you don’t know, but you think it might be in your interest to know, then you can find out all about it during the third call of my upcoming Age of Insight live training.

Registration for Age of Insight closes tomorrow, Wednesday, at 12 midnight PST. But I am only making this training available to people who are on my email newsletter. If you want to get in on the training, then hurry to get on my newsletter and pray that you are in time.

The opportunity to become an insight specialist

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Reader Carlo Gargiulo, who joined my Copy Riddles program a few weeks back, writes in to ask (the bold below was in his original message):

First of all, I want to tell you something.

The Copy Riddles exercises are helping me so much.

Just yesterday the head of the copy team I’m on right now read my latest sales letter and said: “It sounds like you didn’t write this sales letter. The sentences are short, concise, and specific. You did a great job.”

I’m now on round 18 and can confirm that this is a really, really important course for anyone who wants to improve their writing skills and become a copywriter who can write ads that convert.

Also, the structure of the course is wonderful.

You study the theory part, then you do the exercises, and then you check if your bullets are in line with the master copywriters… and repeat this round after round until you improve.

Having reached this point, I am undecided whether to buy Age of Insight.

I’ve been asking myself this question for days: will the information within it allow me to expand on the concepts expressed in Copy Riddles? Are the two courses related? Or are they part of two different planets?

Fact:

​​All the people who have signed up so far for my Age of Insight training have bought something from me before.

On the one hand, that means I’m doing something right with the trainings and courses I’m selling. Like Carlo above, the people who have been through my courses get real practical value from them, and want to come back for more.

On the other hand, it also means been I’ve doing a bad job selling the opportunity that is insight marketing, and Carlo’s question shows it.

So let’s see if I can make this opportunity a little clearer and more tempting:

The Age of Insight not a replacement for Copy Riddles, just as insight techniques are not a replacement for clear promises, sexy offers, or unique positioning.

But using insight in your marketing is an opportunity to do something that most marketers not aware of yet, but that a few smart marketers are getting great benefits from. For example:

Rich Schefren – who sold $960,000 worth of coaching services in 2 hours and 15 minutes thanks to a 40-page report built on insight techniques

Travis Sago – who manages to convert 20%-25% of his entire list over time, and who says insight the best way to move people towards a sale

Stefan Georgi – who makes a very small but very important insight technique an integral part of the trillions or perhaps quadrillions of dollars he has made with his copy

And what’s more:

All these guys have taught aspects of insight marketing somewhere, usually in one-off trainings behind closed doors.

I know, because I’ve gotten my hands on those trainings. But while Rich and Travis and Stefan realized that they were on to something powerful, their how-to on insight was partial and limited to their own experiences.

I’ve done a lot more thinking and research on this topic, and collected more examples, and experimented on my own.

​​And I will aim to give you the white-hot core of that inside the Age of Insight live training, so you too can start to consciously use insight techniques in your marketing, and start to get the rewards that come with it.

A while back, I looked up the etymology of the word opportunity.

It comes from the Latin phrase ob portum veniens — coming towards a port, and in reference to wind. In other words, an opportunity is a chance to get into safe harbor, with the wind to your back.

Right now, the wind is blowing favorably. But it will shift soon, because registration for the Age of Insight closes in two days.

When the wind does become favorable again — some day, no guarantees when — the price to dock inside the Age of Insight port will be much higher, perhaps double what it is now.

Meanwhile, the waves, pirates, and sharks behind you will only get bigger and more threatening.

Because while insight techniques are nice to have now — see results above — they will become more and more mandatory as the market inevitably rolls on and matures and more people start using these same techniques consciously.

I am only making the Age of Insight open to people who are signed up to my email newsletter. So if you’d like to take advantage of this opportunity while it’s still early days, here’s the first step to getting into harbor.

The most shocking, daring, even Robin Hood-like exploit ever to happen on board a Boeing 727

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Today is Nov 24, 2022, which marks the 51st anniversary of NORJAK.

NORJAK was the most shocking, daring, even Robin Hood-like exploit ever to happen on board a Boeing 727.

On Nov 24 1971, Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 305 took off from Portland to Seattle. A short time after takeoff, a passenger calling himself Dan Cooper called over the stewardess and handed her a note.

“I HAVE A BONB,” the note read.

“A bonb sir?” said the stewardess. “What exactly is a ‘bonb’?”

“A bomb,” whispered Cooper, “I have a bomb!” And he opened a bag that was lying on his lap to show a mess of wires, clocks, batteries, and what appeared to be red sticks of dynamite.

To make short tale:

Flight 305 landed in Seattle. Cooper allowed the 36 passengers to get off. But he kept the crew on the plane. ​​He demanded $200k in 20-dollar bills — about $1.2 mil in today’s money — along with four parachutes.

And he got ’em.

Cooper then demanded the plane be refueled, and had it fly for Mexico City, at altitudes of less than 10,000 feet, at speeds of less than 200 knots.

And then, somewhere over Ariel, Washington, Cooper lowered the rear stairs of the Boeing 727.

He took off his tie, put on a pair of wraparound sunglasses, strapped on his parachute — and jumped.

In the weeks and months that followed, the FBI conducted one of the longest and most exhaustive investigations in its history.

Agents interviewed over 800 suspects.

Other agents calculated wind speeds and flight paths and then still other agents combed probably areas for traces of Cooper.

But it all led to absolutely nothing. The hundreds of FBI agents and millions of dollars in government resources couldn’t find a single trace of Cooper.

And that’s how it stood for years — until February 10, 1980.

​​That day, the most unlikely thing happened. A few of Cooper’s 20-dollar bills surfaced, but in a place that nobody had expected.

Let me pause my story here because I really just wanted to set up a question I got.

The question came from a reader named Alex, who signed up for my Age of Insight training.

​​I’ve been following up with everybody who signed up to ask why they signed up and what they are hoping to learn. One of Alex’s wanna-learn topics was:

“How to give readers new insights into what they already know. So, for example, perhaps everyone knows a good subject line needs the curiosity element. But how can I retell this in a way that is different and insightful?”

My email today is one possible answer to Alex’s specific question about curiosity in subject lines.

As for Alex’s more general question — how do you take worn and familiar points, and make them sound insightful and new — well, there is another, very powerful strategy for that. I won’t talk about that today. But maybe I will tomorrow. In any case, if you’d like to read more of what I write, then click here and sign up for my email newsletter.

Contradicting and fulfilling the most effective thing ever found in advertising

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This morning, I woke up to find a bunch of different emails in my inbox from a bunch of different marketers, all on the same topic.

All these people are promoting a run of webinars, which will happen tomorrow, staggered two hours apart, to be given by Rich Schefren.

You might know Rich as “the guru to the gurus” — the guy who coached big-name Internet marketers like Russell Brunson, Ryan Deiss, and Todd Brown.

So now Rich is promoting something, and he has enlisted a bunch of other people to promote him. Which is proof of something written by the “godfather of modern advertising,” Claude Hopkins, some 100 years ago:

“The most effective thing I have ever found in advertising is the trend of the crowd. That is a factor not to be overlooked. People follow styles and preferences. We rarely decide for ourselves, because we don’t know the facts. But when we see the crowds taking any certain direction, we are much inclined to go with them.”

So that’s the harmonious part one. Here’s the clashing part two.

I don’t know what the content of Rich’s webinars tomorrow will be. But I have an idea.

Because speaking a few years back about what really made his messaging and marketing powerful — what made his 40-page reports like the Internet Business Manifesto go viral and bring in millions of dollars of new business — Rich had this to say:

“I really experimented with a lot of different approaches over the years. I’ve come to the conclusion that the best core concept is a paradigm shift on their problem and your solution to their problem.”

Now let’s put our two pieces of music side by side:

Part one is Hopkins saying, 100 years ago, that the “the trend of the crowd” is the most effective thing he has found.

Part two is Rich saying, today, that a “paradigm shift” is the most effective thing he has found.

Those two claims might sound contradictory, and rightly so. After all, if your prospect forms his beliefs based on what others think and do… and if you are giving your prospect a paradigm shift… then you are by definition going against the trend of the crowd.

So maybe it really is a contradiction. Or maybe not.

Maybe, paradigm shifts — insight techniques as I call them — are not here to abolish the old laws of advertising, but to fulfill them. After all, that’s what Rich’s own marketing seems to show.

The fact is, like promises, like social proof, like urgency, creating a “paradigm shift” in your prospect’s mind has been around as long as prospects have been around, or maybe as long as minds have been around.

Giving people a new perspective has always been a powerful way to influence people and move them to action.

​​It’s just that until now, it hasn’t been mandatory. But that’s changing, thanks in part to smart marketers like Rich, who are consciously creating paradigm shifts and aiming to create feeling of insight in their prospects’ minds.

Now here’s a promise for you:

Insight techniques is something I have been thinking and even writing about for a long time. If you’d like to know how you too can consciously create paradigm shifts in your prospect’s mind, then as a first step, join a lot of other smart marketers and entrepreneurs, and sign up to my email newsletter.

Once upon a time

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It was a dark and stormy morning, and the anti-hero of our story, Bond Jebakovic, was sitting in a dimly-lit coffee shop — one of the few dimly-lit coffee shops in this otherwise-sunny Catalan town, for Barcelona is where our story takes place — sipping a latte, his bloodshot eyes glued to the door.

Bond was on a top-secret mission, and he was desperate for intel.

Suddenly, a woman walked in.

​​She was wearing a raincoat and sunglasses, though, as mentioned, it was a dark and stormy morning, and sunglasses were really not required. ​​Maybe it was for effect? Or maybe she had something to hide?

The woman looked around. The coffee shop was empty except for Bond, who was sitting on an uncomfortable bench in the corner.

The stranger walked to the counter and ordered. “Double espresso,” she said, “and one of those little pistachio cookies.”

While the barista busied himself with the order, the woman ambled around the coffee shop. ​​She approached and examined the large monstera plant in the corner. She walked to the large window and looked out to the gray street outside. Finally, she took a few steps towards Bond. ​​Without a sound, she dropped an envelope on the bench next to him.

​​Bond grabbed the envelope. ​On the face of it was a typewrittten title: Monday Morning Memo. Bond tore it open and started to read:

From: Research Dept. Head Roy H. Williams
21 Nov 2022, 7:11AM CET

Bond —

I was most pleased to hear you are still alive. Unfortunately, we can’t allow you any rest. You must deliver the following message immediately to AK. it’s a matter of life and death.

Start of Message:

Most stories should be told as fiction, even when they are true. When confronted with facts we are always on our guard. But the words, “Once Upon a Time” dispel doubt, open the imagination, and create a willing suspension of disbelief.

Case study from Agent William Lederer:

“I was a journalist and none of my books had sold very well, so I showed Jim the manuscript for my newest book. He told me to go back and fictionalize the name of the country, the characters, everything. Jim said to me, ‘The public is more willing to believe fiction than non-fiction.’”

Outcome:

* The resulting book, The Ugly American, stayed on the New York Times list for 78 weeks

* It was directly responsible for the creation of the Peace Corps

* Then-President John F. Kennedy bought a copy of the book for every member of Congress

* Historians speculate The Ugly American did more to change American Foreign Policy than any document since the Declaration of Independence

Bond rushed out of the coffee shop and started running down the street. AK’s apartment was just a block away, but as headquarters wrote, it was a matter of life and death.

Would AK be at home? Would Bond deliver the message in time? And what about those little pistachio cookies — were they any good?

All that, and more, on tomorrow’s installment of Bond Jebakovic Action Adventures. For a free trial subscription to this pulp daily email newsletter, click here and fill out the free trial subscription form.