Anti-proof #1

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A couple days ago, I wrote an email about an unused form of proof, namely testimonials and endorsements for the person selling, rather than for the product being sold.

I first spotted that in the super successful infomercial for the George Foreman Grill. Half the testimonials in the infomercial are for the grill itself. But the rest are for George Foreman himself, like this:

“If George is behind anything, that will be the best thing for America. George would never advertise nothing that’s not good for America.”

After I wrote that email, I got message from copywriter GC Tsalamagkakis, who wrote:

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I’ve seen a lot of people doing it. And I’m sure it works.

But it would have to be executed in a natural way.

Looking at my own reaction (and I may very well be the only one), when I just see those 2 types of testimonials mixed together, it makes me think that the person is desperate to add more social proof and will use any remotely-related testimonials they can find.

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GC’s comment made me think. He’s definitely not the only one to feel like this.

I have myself seen sales pages where only a few lukewarm testimonials are for the offer itself (“quite an acceptable sandwich”)… while the rest of the sales page is padded with other testimonials either for other products by same person (“amazing French fries!”), or just endorsements for the person selling (“the greatest fast-food visionary of our generation”).

On sales pages like this, extra endorsements don’t help much and can even hurt.

I know I have personally felt that such extra endorsements act as a kind of anti-proof element, as a red herring that’s more likely to put questions into my head than lull me into buying.

I asked myself what makes the difference. Why do “seller endorsements” work in the George Foreman infomercial… and don’t work on many sales pages?

I don’t have a clear answer. My best guess is that in one place the extra testimonials are coming from a position of strength, and in the other they are coming from a position of weakness, and that’s something we humans are good at sniffing out.

Maybe you have a better answer. If you do, I hope you will hit reply and enlighten me.

And if you want one more example to help you make you delve inside this profound mystery, I can point you to an effective sales page that features seller endorsements along with product testimonials.

The sales page in question is one for my Most Valuable Email course, and I say it’s effective because I’ve sold many, many copies of this course via this sales page.

The endorsements on this sales page, for me as someone who writes daily emails, come from people like Joe Schriefer of Agora Financial, Bill Mueller of Story Sales Machine, and Daniel Throssell of the Australia Throssells.

On the other hand, there are also a dozen product testimonials, which I’ve picked from a larger batch of positive customer feedback.

I’ve chosen to feature those specific testimonials either because they are particularly enthusiastic (“amazing,” “incredible,” and “more importantly, writing an MVE is fun”) or because the copywriter or marketer benefited from applying the MVE trick in their own or their client’s emails. A sample:

“My inbox is flooded with applause”

“The highest-converting single-email campaign sent to the non-buyers of all time”

“… made me make 5 times more the investment in MVE”

If you wanna see how I integrate both kinds of testimonials into my MVE sales page, take a look below. Just be careful that you don’t get sucked into buying the course itself. Here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/

Do I have an affiliate relationship with all these big names?

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A couple days ago, I opened the most recent Exploding Topics newsletter, which tracks topics and brands that are surging online.

The top Exploding Topic was Scandinavian Biolabs, “a hair growth startup” that raised $5M in funding last year.

“Hello,” I said, “this sounds familiar.”

I had a sense that I know the head copywriter at Scandinavian Biolabs. I suspected it might be one Liza Schermann, the original Crazy Email Lady, who also acted as a cohost of the Age of Insight and Influential Emails trainings I ran several years ago.

I forwarded the Exploding Topics email to Liza to confirm this is indeed the place where she works. Liza wrote back:

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Haha look at that, I’m back at work and growth is skyrocketing! That’s the place indeed. I remember the celebration party for that $5M funding vividly.

I was just typing a reply when you forwarded it so I might as well do it here.

Did you have an affiliate or some kind of other partnership with Chris Orzechowski? Or did you just promote his workshop because you found it interesting? I was wondering that every time you promoted a big name.

Anyway, it seems like it’s been an eventful year in Bejako Land business-wise with lots of different offers (at least from what I could keep up with). I’m looking forward to your annual summary email if you’re planning to send one!

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In answer to Liza’s question:

Yes, I promoted Chris Orzechowski’s training (“5 steps to a million-dollar list”) as an affiliate.

I also promoted Derek Johanson’s CopyHour and Email Delivered Courses as an affiliate.

I promoted Thom Benny’s 1-Person Advertorial Agency as an affiliate.

I promoted Justin Blackman’s Different On Purpose as an affiliate.

I promoted Igor Kheifets’s Click Send Earn as an affiliate.

I promoted Kennedy’s “$27k to $544k” training as an affiliate.

And in a couple weeks from now, when I promote Gasper Crepinsek’s ChatGPT Mastery, I will do so as an affiliate.

I have in the past promoted people’s things simply because I thought they were cool and valuable, without getting paid.

I still do that sometimes.

But if I can promote something I think is cool and valuable AND get paid for it at the same time, well, I like to have my cake and lick it too.

The fact is, I have been feeling burned out this year about creating new offers.

I have created a lot of courses, trainings, reports, and even books over the 6+ years of running this newsletter.

Some have stuck around and become evergreen offers (Copy Riddles, Most Valuable Email, my new 10 Commandments book). Others were exotic one-time events (like the Age of Insight and Influential Emails workshops).

One thing’s for sure:

Even when I’m in full offer-creation mode, the appetite of my audience for cool and valuable new solutions to existing problems is much much bigger than what I can personally satisfy.

That’s one reason I’ve been building up a little invite-only group of list and offer owners.

I’ve been quietly pitching this group to people as a place to connect and partner and share ideas.

It’s proven to be that — it’s led to list swaps, podcast appearances, and affiliate promos, and not just involving me, either.

It so happens that Chris, Derek, Thom, Justin, Igor, Kennedy, and Gasper are all in my little invite-only group.

Maybe this group could be a good fit for you too?

If you’re interested, write in and let me know who you are and what you do.

A list is a mandatory requirement, as is the fact that you are writing that list regularly, and that you’ve made money from your list.

If have your own proven offers, that’s definitely a bonus.

Beyond that, I’m curious to hear who you are and what you do. If it’s a fit with the group, I’ll know it when I see it.

If more sales from your list with less work sounds sexy to you, write in and let’s talk.

Two Hungarian con men go after my mom

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True story, one that happened two days ago, and that I heard from my mom on the phone last night:

My mom lives in a brutalist high-rise building in Zagreb, Croatia.

She goes outside the building two days ago to throw out the trash.

A car pulls up. There are two guys inside. They roll down the window and start speaking to my mom as she is throwing out the trash.

They explain they are Hungarian. And indeed, they are speaking Croatian with the CHAR-acteristic HUN-garian ACC-ent.

“Are you retired?” one of the guys asks.

My mom says yes.

“Great,” he says. “In that case we have a gift for you.” He hands my mom a brochure. It shows fancy sets of kitchenware.

As my mom is looking over the brochure, the other guy gets out and opens up the trunk of the car. “Come take a look” he says.

It’s like a treasure chest in there. There are silver-plated pots, pans, cutlery, knives, all in opened boxes.

The Hungarians explain they were just showing off their wares at a trade show at the big fairgrounds across the street.

“Now we are going to the airport,” they say. But before they go, the boss has tasked them with giving away the samples before they fly out, and to give them away to retired people.

“Would you like?” they ask. “It’s our gift to you. The only condition is you cannot sell these expensive pots and pans, but just use them yourself. By the way, the boxes are heavy. We can take them to the elevator for you.”

My mom is wary. But it looks like treasure.

And here the con men get ahead of themselves. “It’s all free,” they repeat. Just as a token, as something they can show to their boss to prove they have given the stuff away as promised to someone retired, all they ask for in exchange is any bit of old gold. An earring, a small gold chain.

My mom says she has no gold. (I happen to know this is a lie. She has some gold earrings.)

The con men say how one woman in the neighborhood has just given them some gold teeth from her dead husband. They take out a little medicine bottle and actually show the gold teeth.

“I don’t have any gold,” my mom repeats, “and I don’t need the pots and pans.”

“Everything is ok,” the guys insist. “This is a wonderful present!”

“Why not give it to somebody else?” my mom asks.

“We don’t have time,” the con men say. “We have to get to the airport. If you don’t have any gold, do yo you have any new euro? Just one green one? Just so we can prove to our boss that we’ve given the samples away?”

My mom says she’s not interested. She turns and leaves. One of the Hungarians curses under his breath. And the two drive off.

When I talked to my mom, she was mystified by this encounter. “I don’t understand the logic of this offer,” she said.

I don’t either. I don’t know whether these guys were really looking to trade pots and pans for gold… or if they were just looking to rob people of gold without giving over anything… or if they were using this “wonderful present” as a kind of in to get into people’s houses and to properly rob them, way beyond just an old necklace or some gold teeth.

Clearly, this con is a little ham-fisted, and it didn’t work.

But a lot of the elements of a successful con are there. You can find them with a careful reading of the story above, and if you are enterprising, you can apply them to a successful and legitimate business. In the words of David Maurerer, author of The Big Con, the authoritative record of the golden age of con men:

“If confidence men operate outside the law, it must be remembered that they are not much further outside than many of our pillars of society who go under names less sinister. They only carry to an ultimate and very logical conclusion certain trends which are often inherent in various forms of legitimate business.”

Maybe you find this idea shocking or repulsive.

If so, the best I can tell you is to stop reading now. Because I agree with Mauerer. I think there’s a lot to be learned from con men, without crossing over into the illegal or immoral territory in which they operate. A lot that can be applied, profitably, to various forms of legitimate business.

In fact, that’s one of the core ideas behind my new 10 Commandments book, which deals with the commonalities to be found among con men… pickup artists… door-to-door salesmen… copywriters… hypnotists… stage magicians…. and more.

For 10 logical conclusions extracted from all these disciplines:

https://bejakovic.com/new10commandments

Help: What email software do you use?

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Maybe you can give me your input and advice:

If you have an email list, either for your own business or for a client’s list you manage, what software do you use to actually send the emails?

I’m asking because I myself am using a service I am not happy with, and I’m looking to switch.

Long-time readers know that I used to use ActiveCampaign for many years.

I switched last year, because ActiveCampaign had jabbed me for a long time with technical glitches, and then delivered a knockout right hook when they started punishing me (via a new pricing scheme) for sending daily emails as opposed to just weekly.

So last year, I switched to Kit.

Kit wasn’t perfect, but at first blush it seemed adequate. There was just one problem:

I noticed that dedicated readers, ones who had been on my list for years, and some of whom had paid me hundreds or thousands of dollars over the course of those years, were getting bounced off my list.

I’m sure it’s possible some of these people died, or had been put in jail, or simply got out of business, and their email accounts no longer work.

But the number of people getting bounced off my list has been worryingly large (197 over the past year, since I’ve switched to Kit). What’s worse, a large fraction of these (larger than for my entire list) are people with custom domain email addresses. And like I said, many are previous customers or dedicated readers.

To make me even more suspicious that something is rotten with Kit and bounces, I myself have been bounced off multiple Kit lists, multiple times, even though my own email address is working just fine.

A couple days ago, after my homebrewed system notified me that Kit had silently bounced another batch of 5 subscribers off my list, I contacted their help department as a last-ditch measure.

After some back and forth, Kit’s support team offered me a solution to my problem:

Turn on double-optin on all my optin forms. Their reasoning is that since I don’t have double optin enabled, “there is a huge chance that you have spam subscribers on your list which can negatively impact your email deliverability.”

For the record, my email deliverability seems to be fine, outside of the subscribers I can no longer send emails to because Kit has bounced them off my list.

In other words, Kit’s solution to my problem is no solution at all, at least to my mind.

So, as much as I am not thrilled with the prospect of switching email software again, I will do so.

But before I do, I’d like to find something that will prove adequate for a better period of time. Something that works well for sending daily emails… that has good deliverability… that is likely to be around in 3 or 5 years’ time because it’s backed by a serious business.

Can you help?

If you own or manage an email list, either for your own business or for a client, would you share with me what you use, and how happy or unhappy you are with it?

I normally ask people to reply directly to my emails with just an email of their own. But this time I’ve prepared a form to help me make sense of the replies. If that doesn’t turn you off, and if you would like to help me by sharing your own experiences, either good or bad, the link is below. Thanks in advance:

https://forms.gle/attAKcLJU48bb5eD7

Sneaky guru model for getting the most out of a pool of prospects

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If you’re the enterprising sort, here’s a direct-response recipe for getting the maximum value out of a pool of prospects:

1. Run a campaign featuring a guru who is promising an outcome, say, big stock market returns.

2. Make sales of your offer to people who respond to that campaign.

3. Take all the people who didn’t buy (or who bought once, but then canceled a subscription offer) and put in front of them another, entirely different-seeming offer, with a different guru, which actually makes the exact same promise as the offer in step 2.

4. Go back to step 2, and keep going back, with still another guru and another different-seeming offer, repeating until everyone has bought.

I once heard direct marketing expert Dan Kennedy talking about this sneaky multiple-guru model, which is actually very common among high-level direct response operators.

This strategy is obvious enough that in what behemoths like Agora are doing, but it happens in less obvious ways in many other businesses.

Some direct response businesses have low/mid/high variants of the same underlying product, all behind different brands that are impossible for prospects to see through.

Other businesses simply partner with related businesses who make the same promise but with a different feel, tone, or face to their message.

The point being, some people might not like you or your style. But if they’ve raised their hands to say they want the outcome you promise, that’s real value.

Sooner or later, somebody somewhere will sell these folks an offer to help them get that outcome. That somebody might as well be you, and that somewhere might as well be right here, right now, using the recipe above.

And with that, let me remind you one final time of the free training that email marketer Chris Orzechowski is putting on tomorrow, Monday, October 6, at 6pm CET/12 noon EST/9am PST.

Chris is gonna be sharing his “5 Steps To A Million Dollar List.”

I haven’t seen Chris’s training, but I do know his business model and his philosophy.

The fact is, it’s very similar to what I do, to what I preach in these emails, and to what I sell in my offers.

But — maybe you don’t want to hear this from me. Or maybe you have heard it from me, for a long time, and while you like hearing it, maybe it still hasn’t clicked, or hasn’t moved you to action.

In that case, Chris’s free training — and the 8-week coaching program he will be launching on the back of it in the coming weeks — might just be the fix.

If an email-based, flexible, profitable, and even fun business is an outcome you would raise your hand for, then here’s a free offer to help you get there:

https://bejakovic.com/mdl

Free training by million-dollar list owner

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This Monday, October 6, at 6pm CET/12 noon EST/9am PST, Chris Orzechowski is putting on a training called “5 Steps To A Million Dollar List.”

In case you don’t know Chris, he himself is the owner of a million-dollar list. He’s built a 7-figure list-based business selling offers around copywriting and email marketing, both to copywriters and big ecom businesses.

For the record, Chris’s list is currently under 13k people.

A few years ago, back in 2021, Chris made $996k with a list of just 6k people. Business Insider wrote up a profile of him because of this.

All that’s to say, Chris knows what he’s talking about — and the stuff he’s talking about is doable for others too.

I haven’t seen Chris’s training yet, but I know his philosophy of email marketing. It’s to email daily, sending out emails pretty much like the one you’re reading now.

Chris is gonna be kicking off an 8-week coaching program in October, guiding a group of people who wanna build the kind of profitable list business he himself has.

Monday’s “Million Dollar List” training is gonna be a kind of appetizer for that.

Chris says it will be a deep dive into list growth and monetization strategies that have worked for him.

So if you attend Chris’s training on Monday, you might learn something valuable and lucrative, maybe something you apply to your own list and your own biz starting Tuesday morning.

And if you’re interested in getting outside help and guidance in building the same kind of lean, profitable, list-based business Chris has, then Monday’s training will also be a chance to see if Chris is the guy for you.

If you’d like to attend, here’s the link to sign up:

https://bejakovic.com/mdl

The hottest restaurant in France is its own best salesman

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Yesterday, my friend Sam and I got into a rental car in Barcelona, drove across the Spanish-French border, and found our way into the small town of Narbonne.

There we met “Rebelpreneur” Gasper Crepinsek (whose ChatGPT Mastery I promoted earlier this year) and Gasper’s quite pregnant girlfriend Marie.

The four of us then got in line to be let into the “hottest restaurant in France,” Les Grands Buffets, which we had made reservations for many months earlier.

Like its name suggests, Les Grands Buffets is an all-you-can-eat circus. It only serves traditional French cuisine, and as much of it as you can stuff into yourself across 3 hours.

There was a “lobster waterfall,” oysters by the shovelful, and all the razor clams a body can handle.

There was suckling pig, beef, and lamb (all of which I had)… pressed-duck (which I didn’t)… and vol au vent, a pastry with veal sweatbreads (aka thymus glands, quite good).

There were $25 bottles of champagne that normally sell for twice the price at the supermarket.

At the end, this being France, there was of course cheese, in fact a selection from among 900 cheeses, which, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, is the world’s largest.

I also finished everything off with two trips to the dessert room, and loaded up on multiple slices of various chocolatey cakes, which I covered with a few macaroons as garnish.

By the end, our little group got kicked out because we stayed to the end and beyond.

At midnight, some 8 hours after the lunch, not having eaten anything else for the rest of the day, I went to bed. I honestly felt a bit queasy.

But it was worth it, and I would do it again. Actually, considering how long it takes to get a place at Les Grands Buffets, maybe I will book today for the next time. I could imagine that many other visitors feel and do the same.

And all that, is in spite of the fact that Les Grands Buffets is found in a third-tier city in an out-of-the-way region of France, in an ugly municipal building built in the 1980s that also houses a bowling alley and a pool, and has a skate park outside… and in spite of the fact that Les Grands Buffets effectively does no marketing.

That’s not to say that location is not important, or that marketing is worthless as a profession or a skill.

But even the best marketers know, in the words of the original A-list copywriter and scheme man, Claude Hopkins, that:

“The product, and the mental atmosphere you create around it, should be its own best salesman.”

And on that note, let me remind you of an unusual offer I made this week regarding my Copy Riddles program:

I’ll sell you the right to sell Copy Riddles yourself and keep all the money.

There are a lot of copywriting products out there in the world, but there aren’t a lot of great products.

Copy Riddles is one of the great products, both because of the results it delivers to customers (see my emails from yesterday and the day before for that), and because of the baked-in sellability of the course (see the sales page for that).

And now, if you like, you have the opportunity to sell Copy Riddles yourself.

If you have your own list, you can sell Copy Riddles to your list and keep all the money from every sale you make, from here till eternity.

If you want to create a little cold traffic funnel, and put some lower-ticket items up front, and then use Copy Riddles (a $1k course) as the “main course” that makes it likely your funnel is breakeven or better on day zero, you can do that — and keep all the money.

If you already have lower-ticket copywriting offers, and you want to put a proven higher-ticket upsell behind them, you can put Copy Riddles into your upsell flow — and keep all the money.

Or of course, if you are an enterprising guy or gal who is not afraid to reach out to others who have lists, cold traffic funnels, or offers that are in some way related to Copy Riddles, you can partner with them so they provide the flow while you provide a valuable new offer — and split the resulting money with them, however the two of you agree on it.

Along with the right to sell Copy Riddles and keep all the money you make, I will also provide you with the marketing that has sold this course for me in the past — emails, copy angles, social proof, and promo ideas that have worked.

If you’re interested, hit reply, and we can talk in more detail.

Sell a copywriting “mini-mentorship” in a box

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A copywriter who recently finished my Copy Riddles program (not sure he wants me to share his name) wrote me a couple days ago and said:

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I want to share a quick story, so you understand the true impact Copy Riddles has had on me.

I’ve been wanting mentorship for over a year to know I’m heading in the right direction, and getting better at what I do. It’s why I took an in-house copywriter role with the hopes of having a senior mentor me. Alas, after all the promises, I was just used to handle multiple roles.

So, I made the decision to quit, and do my own thing — properly this time. But in my last few weeks at the company, I came across you (through Parker Worth), and you know the story there, I shared it briefly on one of the calls.

But another reason I bought CR, was I hoped it would act as a “mini mentorship.” Now — 10 or 11 weeks later — I can tell you that CR delivered exactly that. The calls really helped put things in perspective. And it’s just refreshing to finally get what you’ve been searching for.

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I have been selling Copy Riddles since 2021, and have had a good number of people go through the program.

I’ve had lots of nice testimonials come in about the quality and usefulness of Copy Riddles. And I’ve also had a few people, like the copywriter above, write in with greater praise, about how the course had some unexpected impact on their career.

I’m telling you all this because yesterday I made an unusual offer:

I’ll sell you the right to sell Copy Riddles yourself and keep all the money.

There are a lot of copywriting offers out there in the world, but there aren’t a lot of great offers.

Copy Riddles is one of the great offers, both because of the results it delivers to customers (see above), and because of the baked-in sellability of the course (see the sales page for that).

And now, if you like, you have the opportunity to sell Copy Riddles yourself.

If you have your own list, you can sell Copy Riddles to your list and keep all the money from every sale you make, from here till eternity.

If you want to create a little cold traffic funnel, and put some lower-ticket items up front, and then use Copy Riddles (a $1k course) as the “main course” that makes it likely your funnel is breakeven or better on day zero, you can do that — and keep all the money.

If you already have lower-ticket copywriting offers, and you want to put a proven higher-ticket upsell behind them, you can put Copy Riddles into your upsell flow — and keep all the money.

Or of course, if you are an enterprising guy or gal who is not afraid to reach out to others who have lists, cold traffic funnels, or offers that are in some way related to Copy Riddles, you can partner with them so they provide the flow while you provide a valuable new offer — and split the resulting money with them, however the two of you agree on it.

Along with the right to sell Copy Riddles and keep all the money you make, I will also provide you with the marketing that has sold this course for me in the past — emails, copy angles, social proof, and promo ideas that have worked.

If you’re interested, hit reply, and we can talk in more detail.

Sell Copy Riddles yourself and keep all the money?

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This morning, I got a message from “the largest copywriter in the Netherlands,” Robin Timmers. Robin writes:

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Well, I’ve just finished Copy Riddles.

I have spent a lot of $$$ on copywriting training and books and programs and stuff…

But there is nothing like Copy Riddles.

Really.

I think the way you’ve designed the program is 10/10.

(Try/Write > Insight/Learn > Try/Write again > Increase copywriting IQ points > Repeat.)

The stuff you teach is 10/10, yet it is simple as hell to understand.

Even in the last bonus rounds, where most programs will probably have some throwaway-and-lame-insights to share, you’ve actually managed to give me an EUREKA moment by reminding me that, well … you want to write your bullets based on the market awareness and sophistication too.

For some reason I have never ever thought of that, yet it is a crazy good and persuasive thing to do.

Go figure.

I can honestly say that Copy Riddles is a must-have for anybody new to copywriting, or who already considers themselves, like I do, a good enough copywriter to earn good money with it.

I’ll 100% go through it again. 🙂

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I’ve had a few other folks who just wrapped up Copy Riddles in the past week say good things about the experience.

I thought this would be the perfect time to run a little promo for Copy Riddles… except I remembered that during the last promo, back in July, I (wisely) announced I will not be running any more Copy Riddles promos this year.

Still, it’s a shame to let nice testimonials and case studies go to waste.

So rather than trying to sell you Copy Riddles, I want to see if you want to sell it yourself.

I tried doing this once before, a few years ago. I didn’t really know what I was doing back then, and so my idea got bogged down in indecision and uncertainty.

My offer today is basically this:

I’ll sell you the right to sell Copy Riddles yourself and keep all the money.

If you have your own list, you can sell Copy Riddles to your list and keep all the money from every sale you make, from here till eternity.

If you want to create a little cold traffic funnel, and put some lower-ticket items up front, and then use Copy Riddles (a $1k course) as the “main course” that makes it likely your funnel is breakeven or better on day zero, you can do that — and keep all the money.

If you already have lower-ticket copywriting offers, and you want to put a proven higher-ticket upsell behind them, you can put Copy Riddles into your upsell flow — and keep all the money.

Or of course, if you are an enterprising guy or gal who is not afraid to reach out to others who have lists, cold traffic funnels, or offers that are in some way related to Copy Riddles, you can partner with them so they provide the flow while you provide a valuable new offer — and split the resulting money with them, however the two of you agree on it.

Along with the right to sell Copy Riddles and keep all the money you make, I will also provide you with the marketing that has sold this course for me in the past — emails, copy angles, social proof, and promo ideas that have worked.

If you’re interested, hit reply, and we can talk in more detail.

If you cannot persuade yourself to act however hard you try

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This morning, a private detective I know here in Barcelona sent me a screenshot of a trending social media story:

“Couple Who Met On Dating App Rob Bank On First Date”

Can this really be true? I decided to do my own sleuthing.

It turns out yes, the story is roughly true, but with an important detail that’s missing in the headline above.

The man, Christopher Castillo, age 33, and the woman, Shelby Sampson, age 40, agreed to meet for a date.

Castillo asked Sampson to pick him up in her car. Once in the car, Castillo started drinking wine, presumably red. He then asked Sampson to pull over at a bank.

Castillo was gone for a few minutes. He came back sweating, wearing sunglasses and a hat (!), and holding an antique gun and a wad of cash.

He told Sampson to drive, which she did, for a bit, until the cops pulled them over and put the date to an end.

The crucial bit is that Sampson was not charged with anything, because, so the state believes, she had absolutely no knowledge of or participation in any criminal aspect of this first date.

This missing detail is what I found most interesting in the whole story.

I’ve never robbed a bank, but I imagine it’s hard.

The stock joke is that a typical man is unwilling to pull over and ask for directions while driving. Can you imagine how much more unwilling a typical man is to pull over, walk into a bank, hold up a gun, and ask for $1,000 in cash (and five years in prison, it turns out)?

No wonder Castillo was drinking in the car. And no wonder he felt he needed somebody “in his corner,” even if that was an unwitting and unwilling non-accomplice he had met on Tinder.

I found this interesting because, while I’ve never robbed a bank, I have done other, legal, things in my life. Some of these things I found personally very difficult to do, because they challenged my own identity.

There were times when no amount of auto-suggestion, willpower, or even red wine would push me over the threshold.

There were times when the only thing that would help me act would be having somebody “in my corner,” having a feeling of a home base I could come back to, even if that was somebody I had met minutes earlier and had no special relationship with.

I imagine this is all a bit waffly without specific examples. I might give those in another email.

My point today is simply that if you have something you know you should be doing (don’t rob a bank), but you cannot persuade yourself to do it no matter how you try, then having some kind of support or community of other people to rely on, however tenuous, can make all the difference.

Ideally, this is other people in real life. Real life seems to make a big difference.

But if you cannot find people in real life to act as a home base, then people online can sometimes act as a substitute. At least that’s the promise of online communities, groups, and memberships.

I am still keen on spinning up a new online community of my own, but I haven’t yet decided which (legal) things I would like to support people in doing.

While that’s going on, I can only recommend once again a community that I myself am part of, Travis Sago’s Royalty Ronin.

If you’re struggling to take the action needed to build your own audience… or to make deals with people who have an audience of their own… or to make your first $5k online… then you might find the support you need within Royalty Ronin. For more info:

https://bejakovic.com/ronin