John Caples

Who else wants to get kicked off my list?

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Yesterday, I sent out an email about how I recently created a joke payment plan for my Most Valuable Email course, and how I’ll soon increase the price of MVE from $100 to $297. The subject line read,

“They laughed when I created a payment plan, but when I jacked up the price…”

In case you’re entirely new to copywriting, that was a play on “They laughed when I sat down at the piano but when I started to play,” which is one of the most famous headlines of all time, written by John Caples in 1926.

A healthy number of people bought MVE from yesterday’s email. Some also wrote in to reply and say they thought the email was witty. And then one guy wrote in to say:

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297 plus 3 payments of 1 dollar?

BTW, the subject line is a bit lame, don’t you think?

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I raised my eyebrows a bit, paused for a moment. I then scrolled down to the bottom of the email, and clicked unsubscribe on behalf of this reader.

I don’t know whether his reply was a missed attempt at humor. I don’t know whether it was a genuine attempt at trolling me. I do know it was a distraction.

And it would have stayed just a distraction — but I would hate to allow myself to be just distracted. That’s why I decided to write an email out of it, and get some use out of this ex-subscriber, rather than simply allowing him to interrupt my morning.

Moving on:
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As you might recognize, my subject line today, “Who else wants to get kicked off my list,” is a play on another classic John Caples headline, “Who else wants a screen star figure?”

I’m not actually inviting trollish responses with that subject line. I like almost all of my readers, and I like having a pleasant rapport with my audience. That’s why the “lame subject line” guy is only the fourth person I’ve proactively unsubscribed from my list in 5 years of daily emailing.

But I do draw a line somewhere. I expect my readers to treat me well, because I treat them well.

Which brings me back to Most Valuable Email.

I have been selling MVE for a year for $100.

Over the past year, I’ve had many people tell me that’s a steal, and that I should raise my price.

And just in the past couple weeks, I’ve had a number of people I admire tell me the same. I will tell you about one such mysterious person in my next email.

Eventually, the message got through.

So I am raising my price for MVE, like I said, from $100 to $297.

I am also giving you fair notice about this change. You can still get MVE for $100 until Tuesday, August 22 (yes August, not July), at 8:31pm CET.

But why wait and risk missing out? You can laugh at deadline worries — if you follow this simple link:
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https://bejakovic.com/mve/

The secret to writing subject lines with the word “secret” in them

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I’ll tell you about the subject line secret in just a second. But first, here are a few funny-if-fake headlines, supposedly written by legendary marketer Dan Kennedy:

Who Else Wants To Discover The Secret
To Writing Headlines
That Begin With The Words ‘Who Else’?

——

“Do You Have What It Takes
To Write Powerful Headlines
Which Have Quotation Marks
And Are In The Form Of A Question?”

——

Everybody Laughed When I Used
​An Old Headline Template To Create My Headline,
But When I Put It At The Top Of My Sales Letter…

In case it’s not clear, that last one is a play on John Caples’s famous ad, “They Laughed When I Bent Down To Pet The Cat… But When She Started To Hiss!”

Dan’s point was that there’s a lot more to copywriting than templates and formulas.

If it weren’t so, then businesses wouldn’t be willing to write obscene paychecks to A-list copywriters like Dan himself.

Why would they?

If templates and formulas were where it’s at… then businesses could just get any monkey with small, nimble fingers to stick “Who else wants” at the start of an uninspired or unbelievable promise… and they would still make all the sales they want.

This can either be good news or bad news, depending on your perspective.

It’s bad news because it means making money with sales copy is more involved than you might have been told at first.

It’s good news because it means there’s a natural moat around the high castle of good copywriters. And maybe more importantly…

It means copywriting can become a pursuit you can explore for a long time, and still find new and deep insights. At least that’s how it’s been for me.

But back to that secret I mentioned in the subject line.

If you want to learn how to write fascinating subject lines, rather than relying on the crutch of calling every can of tuna a “secret,” then you can learn that inside my Copy Riddles program.

Copy Riddles is built around the practice of writing sales bullets. And bullets just happen to double as great subject lines.

Also, you might like to know:

Copy Riddles is not in any way focused on bullet formulas and templates. In case you don’t believe me, here are a few relevant words from marketing consultant Khaled Maziad, who went through Copy Riddles last year:

Man, this is the best course on bullets I have ever seen. And believe me, I have seen a lot.

I loved that you didn’t include bullet templates but went deep into the psychology behind each bullet.

This course is not just about the “how-to” of writing bullets but understanding the artistry and the deep psychology behind them… Plus, when and where to use them.

It’s like going behind the scenes and watching David Copperfield reveals every single magic trick in the book… without losing interest.

So if you want to find out some magic tricks that make real money appear:

https://copyriddles.com

Free self-assessment: Which ad won?

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Do you want a little self-assessment? If you do, take the A/B test below:

VERSION A

[Illustration: Panel containing a list of symptoms of nervous trouble]

Headline: Thousands suffer from sick nerves and don’t know it

VERSION B

[Illustration: Photograph of a nerve specialist]

Headline: Have you these symptoms of nerve exhaustion?

One of these ads was a big flop and ran only once. The other was a big success and ran over and over.

So which is which?

Think about it…

… think…

… take your time…

… all right. You ready?

The winner is B. But the right answer is less important than what you yourself thought the right answer was. Here’s what I’m thinking.

According to John Caples, who reported this A/B test in his Tested Advertising Methods, headline B won because it has the word you. On the other hand, says Caples, the losing headline is “simply a statement of fact.”

It certainly could be that. But maybe it’s the word these in the winning headline. Or maybe it’s the picture of the nerve specialist.
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Or maybe, and this is just my guess, it’s that word thousands that killed the losing version. Because dig it:

One of the fundamental needs we all have is to feel special. That need is so powerful that sometimes, we are willing to hang on to our pain because it allows us to keep feeling special.

“Thousands might suffer from sick nerves… but that’s not my case unfortunately. My case is unique.”​​

So if you chose Version A in the self-assessment above, here’s a diagnosis:

You might be too truthful and direct with your marketing. You could benefit by protecting your prospect’s specialness a little more. At the least, don’t bluntly say, “I’ve seen your case a thousand times before. Here’s a cure.”

And if you chose Version B above, you probably have an intuitive understanding of the value of making people feel special.

​​In that case, remember there are simple and easy tactics for making people feel special. But you probably already realized this — since you’re a Type B.

Finally:

Here’s a special offer for you if you guessed A on the test above.

But you say you guessed B instead? How unusual. In that case, here’s a special offer for you also.

Weapons-grade copy that carries a wallop

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Most rocks on earth contain 2 to 4 ppm of uranium. The worst that a uranium-bearing rock can do is split your head open.

But take many tons of rock, and cook it down to nothing. What you get is “weapons grade” uranium-235. Less than a kilogram of that stuff was enough to wipe out Hiroshima and about 80,000 people.

I bring up this gruesome fact to show you the power of distillation.

​​I started this email with a draft of 200 words. I’ve managed to cut it down to about 100. Because as John Caples said:

“Overwriting is the key. If you need a thousand words, write two thousand. Trim vigorously. Fact-packed messages carry a wallop.”

If you want to subscribe to my fact-packed email newsletter, click here.

 

How to agitate any market’s problem

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I kept glancing left and right. Each time I spotted another bicyclist, my fears were confirmed.

I went for a bike ride today.

It was hot. It was smoggy. I had to compete for roadspace with tons of cars and trucks.

But that’s not what really cooked my liver.

I kept glancing around. I soon realized that, out of all the other bikers I passed, I was the only one wearing a helmet.

Food delivery guys… little kids on oversized mountain bikes… pretty girls in big pantaloons on “classic” bikes…

Nobody had a helmet. I was the only one dorky enough to be concerned with my safety in this way.

This growing realization put me in a state of mild panic. Which is pretty strange. If anything, I should have felt safer and superior wearing my protective pudding padding.

But here’s the thing:

Loneliness, which is a horrible physiological reaction involving tightened blood vessels and gurgling in the gut, has two forms.

One form is the familiar one, when you’re literally alone, in your house, like during lockdown.

The other form is when you’re surrounded by lots of people — but in some significant way, they are all strangers. You’re in a crowd, but you don’t belong.

As you can probably guess, this human instinct can be used to “guide” your prospects in the direction you want.

“I really sucked at the piano and it seemed hopeless…”

That’s the level at which most headlines stop. It works.

But could we do better? John Caples could:

“They laughed when I sat down at the piano…”

In short, the vast majority of people, myself included, want to be consistent with the herd. If you’re lagging in some noticeable way behind the others, you’re liable to start feeling lonely, and to wind up in a state of mild panic.

So when you write your sales copy, remember this:

An easy way to agitate any market’s problem is simply to introduce an audience.

You know how sometimes you feel lonely? Getting an email from me at that point won’t fix that. But it might help, just a tiny bit. So if you want to get a bit of protection against loneliness, and maybe get some lessons about persuasion and marketing in the process, sign up for my daily email newsletter here.

No respect at home for history’s most famous ad

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In the fall of 1925, a 25-year-old Naval Academy graduate read the 4-Hour Work Week.

The book changed his life. He quit his boring engineering job, took an evening course in copywriting, and started working at a mail-order agency.

In the first few months of his new career, the young man already wrote a string of major winners. Among them was one that became the most famous ad of all time:

“They larfed when I sat down at the piano. But when I started to play!”

The young man’s name was John Caples. That Christmas, just a few months after starting his new job, Caples headed home to visit his family. He packed some of his winning ads under his arm so he could show them off to his mom and dad.

At home, Caples’s mom started reading those winning ads out loud in the kitchen. She became increasingly concerned. “Baldy?” “Fat men?” This was not what she expected from her son. “You better not let your father see this,” she said to young John.

Fact is, direct response copy is not very reputable. You’re not writing poetry. You’re trying to persuade.

The result might be unreadable to anybody who’s not in your target market. This probably includes your parents (though my mom, an inveterate direct response customer, is always supportive).

But so what? You win either way. If your friends and family are horrified by the schlock you write, at least you have a good story you can use in your next ad. Because like John Caples showed almost 100 years ago, stories featuring embarrassment, self-doubt, disapproval — and eventual triumph — are evergreen sellers.

Blare your sales message loudly at your readers

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I took a walk through town today and I heard a busker chirping on a flute.

My brain immediately started playing the Chinese dance from the Nutcracker. That’s not the tune the busker was playing. But it didn’t matter, because that’s how our brains work.

Our brains get influenced all the time by random sounds, words, and touches. Most of the time, we’re not even aware this is happening. Take a look at Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow. It gives lots of examples of decisions that were swayed, often in big ways, by an unnoticed detail in the environment.

Of course, this has consequences if you’re writing copy. For example, one classic bit of advice is to edit your first draft heavily. Make it as tight as possible. Follow William Zinsser, who wrote:

“Most adverbs are unnecessary. You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a specific meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning. Don’t tell us that the radio blared loudly; ‘blare’ connotes loudness.”

“Blare” does connote loudness. But maybe “loudly” triggers the brain in a way that “blare” does not. Words redundant in meaning might not be redundant in effect.

So should you stop editing your copy? No. The fewer words you can get your point across in, the better.

But don’t be a slave to the advice of people like William Zinsser. Use your own taste and emotional response to make the call whether a word stays in or not.

John Caples once gave an example of how an ad improved with a bit of redundancy. The original ad read, “Most of these articles are exclusive with this store.” The improved ad read, “Most of these articles are exclusive with this store — cannot be obtained elsewhere.”

The point Caples was making is that more words can help you explain your meaning better. That includes emotional meaning too. Because you don’t know for sure which hook will finally catch your fish, or which word will prime your prospect into buying.

Want more info on editing your copy? It’s one of the topics I cover in my daily email newsletter. If you’re interested, click here to subscribe.

Yet another clickbait subject line

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“I was furious…”

“Did you get a chance to see this?”

“I almost forgot to tell you!”

I’ve seen an uptick recently in flat-out clickbait subject lines like these. And by “clickbait,” I mean subject lines that have little (or nothing) to do with the actual content of the email. They are simply tacked on as an afterthought, and could work just as well with any other content.

But what’s the problem? The more the merrier, right? People can’t read your message unless they click on it, and if a subject line gets them to click, then it’s done its job.

Perhaps. But like salt, curiosity rarely makes a filling meal on its own. That’s not my conclusion. Instead, it comes from one of the greatest copywriters of the last century, John Caples, who wrote about headlines:

“Avoid headlines that merely provoke curiosity. Curiosity combined with news or self-interest is an excellent aid to the pulling power of your headline, but curiosity by itself is seldom enough. This fundamental rule is violated more often than any other.”

And then then we get to the very other extreme. You might call this “the fewer the merrier.” It’s an idea promoted by the likes of marketing expert Travis Sago, who has made himself and his clients millions of dollars, often solely through email. Travis advises that you “write your subject lines like you have to pay for every open.”

So what to do? Who’s right?

Well, I think there’s actually no single right answer. There might be situations where clickbait headlines (“Whoa!”) make sense and make sales. Cold emails to businesses might be one example. Personally, I don’t like these kinds of subject lines, but that’s just a matter of artisanal pride.

I also think that if you’re looking to play the long game with your marketing, meaning you want an ongoing relationship with your readers, then it makes sense not to piss those readers off. Will they click on your email and feel like they’ve been scammed into reading something irrelevant? Then maybe it’s time to consider making your subject line less clickbaity, more transparent, and more specific.

They promised us violence but when the theater doors opened…

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For the past few days, newspapers around the country have been trying to scare us into seeing the new Joker movie. Here are some of the recent headlines:

“WEEKEND: ‘JOKER’ OPENS AS VIOLENCE FEARS SIMMER…”

“Studio Exec Warned: ‘Don’t Make This Movie’…”

“FBI on alert…”

Maybe I’m jaded, but this feels like a transparent marketing ploy by Hollywood execs.

Because I saw the trailer for the Joker a few nights ago. It didn’t seem interesting or intriguing. Though it did have a reference to the old Bob Monkouse joke:

“They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now!”

I can’t prove it, but I suspect this joke is itself a reference to a very famous ad headline:

“They laughed when I sat down at the piano but when I started to play!”

This headline has been ripped off, directly and indirectly, in hundreds or thousands of ads.

It’s become one of the great headline archetypes, along with “Do you make these mistakes in English?” and “How to win friends and influence people.”

But what makes the “They laughed” headline so effective?

Well, in just a few words, it starts to tell a story…

It introduces high stakes (nobody likes being humiliated)…

It creates intrigue and curiosity (“What happened when you sat down?”)…

And it implies a benefit (“I bet you showed them!”).

All that in just 15 words. I think that’s more excitement than you’re likely to get in 121 minutes of The Joker.

Anyways, keep the power of the “They laughed” headline in mind when writing simple stories in your marketing materials.

And if you want help in making those stories intriguing and curiosity-pumping, then you can find some specific advice in the following book on copywriting for advertorials:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

“Fugitive” headline on run for 45 years captured in 2019 ad

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I read in today’s news that a fugitive in China, on the lam for 17 years, was finally caught inside the cave where he had been hiding.

Police couldn’t track him down for years.

But they finally found him by flying drones over a wooded mountain region where he had been living a Yeti-like existence for so long that he had forgotten how to speak.

This modern use of technology to rope in poor fugitive scum made me think of a much older technology.

The WANTED poster.

Or rather, the WANTED headline.

In his 1974 book Tested Advertising Methods, famed copywriter John Caples wrote that “Wanted” is a good word to use in headlines.

“Wanted — Man with car to run a store on wheels”

Fast forward to 2019, and this WANTED idea was just spotted scurrying across a subject line for an Health Sciences Institute email, which ran twice this month.

The thing is, not all headline formats that worked back in 1974 work today.

And in spite of the HSI email, you probably shouldn’t count on WANTED being a great headline format today.

However, the underlying idea is still very sound.

And that idea is to specifically call out your audience.

So looking back over the last couple of years, here are some examples of successful headline complexes that do exactly this:

* Confirmed: If you are over 60 as of January 1, 2019, you need to protect yourself now…
* Warren Buffett’s Shocking Advice to Americans Who Hope to Retire in the Next 5-7 Years
* Attention: Men & Women Over Age 50:

By the way, did you know Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan wrote a song titled “Wanted Man” back in 1967?

Cash sang it live at San Quentin Prison to a crowd of felons.

I’ve always liked this song for its list of no-name American towns that still meant something fifty years ago, as well as for the backing vocals, courtesy of Johnny Cash’s wife and her family.

If you have 3 minutes and 24 seconds, and you want to give this song a listen, here’s the original, outlaw recording: