I took a walk through town today and I heard a busker chirping on a flute.
My brain immediately started playing the Chinese dance from the Nutcracker. That’s not the tune the busker was playing. But it didn’t matter, because that’s how our brains work.
Our brains get influenced all the time by random sounds, words, and touches. Most of the time, we’re not even aware this is happening. Take a look at Daniel Kahneman’s Thinking Fast and Slow. It gives lots of examples of decisions that were swayed, often in big ways, by an unnoticed detail in the environment.
Of course, this has consequences if you’re writing copy. For example, one classic bit of advice is to edit your first draft heavily. Make it as tight as possible. Follow William Zinsser, who wrote:
“Most adverbs are unnecessary. You will clutter your sentence and annoy the reader if you choose a verb that has a specific meaning and then add an adverb that carries the same meaning. Don’t tell us that the radio blared loudly; ‘blare’ connotes loudness.”
“Blare” does connote loudness. But maybe “loudly” triggers the brain in a way that “blare” does not. Words redundant in meaning might not be redundant in effect.
So should you stop editing your copy? No. The fewer words you can get your point across in, the better.
But don’t be a slave to the advice of people like William Zinsser. Use your own taste and emotional response to make the call whether a word stays in or not.
John Caples once gave an example of how an ad improved with a bit of redundancy. The original ad read, “Most of these articles are exclusive with this store.” The improved ad read, “Most of these articles are exclusive with this store — cannot be obtained elsewhere.”
The point Caples was making is that more words can help you explain your meaning better. That includes emotional meaning too. Because you don’t know for sure which hook will finally catch your fish, or which word will prime your prospect into buying.
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