Jim Camp

A lesson from Widows: How to tell you’re winning a negotiation

by

I just saw the surprisingly good Widows.

There are many scenes in this movie that would make for good email — or blog — fodder.

One that sticks out is the following:

Jamal Manning is a former crime boss who’s looking to get respectable, so he’s running for alderman in Chicago’s 16th district.

And in this scene, he visits the reverend of the largest congregation in his district, trying to get support.

The reverend speaks first:

“Election’s in less than a month. If I was a doctor, I’d be telling you to get your affairs in order. Three weeks from now, you won’t need a doctor. You’ll be asking someone like me to give you last rites.”

Manning is getting impatient. He thinks the reverend has already decided to endorse his opponent.

“I didn’t say that,” says the good reverend.

He then suggests he’s still keeping his options open.

Finally, Manning can’t take any more. He blurts out:

“I’m gonna cut to the chase here, reverend. I’m in the driver’s seat. I just don’t have a set of wheels. All I need is your endorsement and your contribution to help me get across the finish line.”

And there it is.

The phrase that tells you you’ve been negotiating right, and are near to crossing the finish line.

Did you catch it?

“I’m gonna cut to the chase.”

That’s not my wisdom.

Instead, it’s straight from the late negotiation expert Jim Camp, who said his students always love to hear that phrase. “Cut to the chase” means the other side is getting worn out and they are ready to agree to just about anything.

So how do you get to that point?

Well, you do what the good reverend did.

Which is something that doesn’t just apply to local politics or crime movies.

In fact, it’s another tenet of Camp’s negotiating method.

And it’s even something that’s been adapted to writing more effective sales emails by that devoted Camp disciple, Ben Settle.

You can try to glean what I’m talking about by closely reading the script above.

Or you can get a copy of my upcoming book when it comes out, where I will cover this topic in much more detail, and give several examples of emails where I’ve used this same strategy.

The choice is yours. If you want the second option, here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Gattefossé’s un-accidental discovery

by

The legend goes like this:

The year was 1910. And a French perfumery chemist, named René-Maurice Gattefossé, was working in his laboratory as per uzh.

Except this day, the lab experiment went bad. There was an explosion, and Gattefossé’s hand got badly burned.

In a moment of fright and shock, Gattefossé dipped his burned hand into the nearest vat of liquid, which just happened to be…

Lavender essential oil. (He was a perfumery chemist, remember?)

Over the coming days, Gattefossé observed the disgusting pulp of his hand. It was healing well. Scarring was minimal. He recovered wonderfully.

Impressed by these results, he went on to dedicate his life to studying the health benefits of essential oils. And, the legend concludes, that’s how the modern field of aromatherapy was born.

The end. Only one problem:

This is not exactly how it happened.

Gattefossé tells the actual story himself in his book Aromatherapie.

Yes, his hand got burned (in fact, both his hands), and yes, he used lavender oil to help the healing. But the most dramatic element of the story — the accidental dipping into the vat of lavender oil — seems to be made up. Instead, Gattefossé already knew of the healing benefits of lavender oil, and he used lavender oil in a methodical process to treat his hand once the fire was already out.

Somehow though, the true story doesn’t sell.

Which brings up an important point if you ever want to persuade people. Just because a story is true, doesn’t automatically make it good sales copy fodder.

For example, the “accidental discovery” plot will almost always beat out the “slow and methodical progress” plot.

My gut feeling is that this comes down to that old Jim Camp favorite, vision.

It’s easy and dramatic to imagine Gattefossé screaming out in pain and dunking his hand into the nearest vat of liquid. It’s not so easy to imagine him, at some uncertain time later on, using lavender oil to perform a precise and tedious intervention on his burn.

Of course, this applies to emails as well.

And no, you don’t have to make anything up to have successful sales emails. But you do have to choose your stories well.

If you want to see some of the stories I’ve successfully used to promote health products (supplements, info courses), then take a look inside my upcoming book on email marketing for the health space. You can get a free copy when it comes out by signing up below:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Roger Federer offers a bit of negotiation wisdom

by

Last night, Roger Federer lost in the semifinals of the ATP year-closing tournament.

This means that Federer, possibly the greatest player who has ever played tennis, still has just 99 titles under his belt.

Asked by a journalist whether he needs that elusive 100th title, Federer responded:

“I don’t NEED it. I will breathe air if not.”

It might sound as if Federer is simply debating semantics, or that he’s even a little testy after his loss.

That’s not what’s going on.

Here’s a bit from an interview earlier in the week when he was asked a similar question:

“Personally I’m still not thinking of the number 100. I won’t let that get in my head, make me go crazy because it should be something I’m excited about and not something I should feel extra pressure about.”

This exactly mirrors what negotiation coach Jim Camp says.

One of Camp’s main rules is not to get needy. In other words, don’t trick yourself into thinking you need something when you actually don’t, and when you have all the things (like air) that you actually do need.

There was a time when I didn’t fully get the importance of this.

“There’s no difference,” I used to think, “between really wanting something and needing it.”

If that’s how you feel now, I won’t be able to convince you otherwise.

All I can do is tell you that I noticed, personally, that needing something actually seems to take place in an entirely different part of the brain than wanting that same thing. It seems to be an entirely different chemical process, and an entirely different emotion.

In short, even though it might seem needing and wanting are closely related, in truth they couldn’t be further apart.

As Jim Camp himself wrote in his book Start with No:

“As a negotiator aspiring to excellence, you must, at all costs, avoid showing need. In order to avoid showing need, you must never feel it. You do not need this deal. But what happens if we simply substitute the word and the emotion ‘want’ for ‘need’? The dynamics change. […] ‘Need’ is death, ‘want’ is life.”

I doubt Federer read Camp’s Start with No, but he seems to have learned the same lesson on his own.

And even though he only has 99 titles to his name, it’s hard to say his focus on wanting instead of needing has left him with a lack of motivation or success.

Something to think about, whatever your chosen field is.

A special note if you happen to be in the health field and you want (not need) more effective marketing:

You might like my upcoming book on email marketing in  the health space.

Along with advice on actually writing emails and structuring email marketing sequences to sell supplements and health info courses, this book will also have a section on the mindset you should adopt to be successful in today’s marketing-saturated world — such as the Roger Federer/Jim Camp lesson above.

Anyways, if you’d like a free copy of this book when it comes out (I’m planning to sell it for $17 when it is out), put your red RF headband on, and sign up at the link below:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Jim Camp and the desert kite

by

Somewhere in the Middle East, there’s an area called the Black Desert.

Apparently, it’s a horrible place, dry and barren and inhospitable to life.

The Bedouins who knew this area best even called it Bilad esh-Shaytan — the Land of Satan. (It rather sounds like Mordor.)

Anyways, deep inside the Black Desert, there are these strange formations:

Low walls, made up of loose stones, which stretch out for miles at a time.

They were first discovered about a hundred years ago, by aviators flying overhead, who named them “desert kites.”

An ancient sales funnel in the Black Desert

For a long time, nobody knew who made these desert kites, or when, or why.

Scientists now believe they were used for hunting large herds of gazelles and antelopes.

The gazelle herds would come upon these walls.

And unsuspectingly, they’d keep walking along.

And walking.

And walking.

And eventually, they would fall into a man-made enclosure, where the locals would have their grisly way with them.

So what’s the point of all this?

Well, let me explain it with an anecdote from negotiation expert Jim Camp:

“According to family tradition, my great-grandfather used to say about one of the mules on his farm, ‘To get his attention you have to hit him between the eyes with a two-by-four. When you have his attention, he can see what he ought to do.'”

Jim Camp taught people how to win negotiations.

And one of the pillars of his approach was the idea that you have to create a vision of pain in your adversary’s mind in order to get a real decision or action out of them.

The trouble, however — according to Camp — is that people are not mules.

Meaning you can’t just blind them with the pain, the way his grandfather would do to the mule with the two-by-four.

Instead, you have to guide them along gently, allowing them a little bit of emotional respite, while still using pain to move them along to your intended destination.

So to sum up:

Yes, people aren’t mules.

But they might just be gazelles.

And in that case, your sales copy becomes a desert kite built out of your target audience’s pain, gradually leading them where you want them to go.

If you want to see how this can be done in practice with email, specifically for the grisly goal of selling health products, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails

The one-word fix for rock-solid negotiation mindsets

by

Continuing from yesterday’s discussion of negotiating lessons from Bridget Jones’ Diary:

I promised that a single word can transform a self-serving (and therefore ineffective) mission-and-purpose statement (ie. negotiation goal) into one that is rock-solid.

Let’s quickly revisit the 3 options from the scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary that illustrates this situation.

The scene: Hugh Grant’s character tries to win Bridget back.

Original version:

“I want to get Bridget back because if I can’t make it with her, I can’t make it with anyone.”

Not good, because completely self-serving and without regard to what Bridget wants. Sure enough, Bridget rejects this offer in the actual movie.

Second, a Jim Camp-style version:

“I want to help Bridget see and decide that she will be happy in a new relationship with me, because I am a changed man.”

Better, but in my opinion, still focused too tightly on the goal of winning the negotiation (ie. winning Bridget back).

Like I wrote yesterday, it’s too easy to transfer the first kind of mission-and-purpose statement into this second version, by pretending to care about what the other side wants.

So what’s the fix for this?

Simple.

Use the word “whether”:

“I want to help Bridget see and decide whether she will be happy in a new relationship with me, now that I am a changed man.”

It seems like a small change, but the effects in mindset — and how you negotiate — can be dramatic. (At least, they were whenever I took this attitude in various negotiations.)

Suddenly, you are not focused on trying to get to your pre-determined goal.

Instead, you are calmly and patiently working with the adversary to reach a solution that will last.

Does this work in real life to actually achieve your desired outcome?

Sometimes.

Sometimes not.

It depends on what Bridget (or your adversary) really wants, and how vividly you create the vision of her being happy and of yourself as a changed man.

And yes, there is a real chance that even if you do everything right, the negotiation will still fall through. Bridget might decide that she doesn’t believe you, that she’s been hurt too many times, that she in fact loves someone else now.

Nonetheless, by genuinely allowing yourself the chance to be rejected, you increase your chances of success as well, by negotiating with less neediness and more focus on what the other side wants.

Now of course, this whole discussion ignores the cruel realities of male-female relations, and the fact that many women find selfish and pushy men attractive.

But still, taking this attitude in negotiations — whether romantic or business — is likely to attract the best partners into your life, and to create negotiated solutions that last for the long term.

The sink-or-swim sales letter close

by

Yesterday, I was finishing up a sales letter and I got to my least favorite part, the close.

That’s when you’ve made your offer, and now make one final big push to get the reader to buy. Many times, this is where sales letters reiterate all the benefits of the thing they are selling. Other times, they paint a bleak picture of how lonely and sad your life will be if you don’t buy.

I decided to do something different. I used an idea that I got from a sales letter from Ben Settle, which he included along with his monthly print newsletter several months ago. The sales letter was for a new $279 product for freelance copywriters that Ben was selling. it wrapped up with the following:

“It’s sink or swim around here to encourage implementation. So if you don’t think you can make your $279 back, simply don’t buy it. Otherwise, go here before April 1st to grab it for $100 off:”

Ben’s sales letter had a bunch of curiosity-soaked bullet points, but none of them pulled me in or made me consider buying. However, this one final statement almost made me get my credit card right away and order right away. Here’s why this close is so good:

1. It’s a challenge. This close doesn’t try to convince you. It doesn’t say “Just imagine how much richer you will be with this information!” It does just the opposite — it tries to dismiss you. To me at least, this was a challenge that I wanted to rise up to.

2. It creates vision. When I read this, I immediately asked myself, “Could I make $279 from this information?” And I then started imagining different scenarios where that could happen. This is what negotiation expert Jim Camp called creating vision in your adversary’s mind.

3. It’s different. Again, most other sales letters try to close you with high-pressure sales tactics. This makes Ben’s approach stand out, and it creates curiosity and intrigue.

4. It’s non-needy. Again, no high-pressure tactics here. This signals you don’t need the sale (as you genuinely don’t). Ironically, this will make it more likely for you to get the sale.

5. It repels the buyers you don’t want to have. “Repulsion marketing” is another cornerstone of Ben’s philosophy, and this sales letter close embodies it perfectly.

6. It’s about consumption. This close isn’t about being a dick (though it might sound like that to some). It’s about what’s good for you and for your prospects, something that Sean D’Souza calls an emphasis on consumption. In other words, if some prospects won’t get value out of what you’re selling, why would you sell it to them?

Now I’m sure this approach probably goes back many thousands of years, back to when the first copywriters etched their sales letters in wet clay tablets.

But if it has a name yet, I haven’t heard it. And so, in honor and memory of Ben’s sales letter, where I first saw it, I will call it the “sink-or-swim close” from now on.

The right way to respond when you hear “no”

by

“The easy part of playing negotiation is knowing when not to flinch”

Once upon a time, I threw a party and met a girl who came with some of my friends.

Throughout the evening, I circled around, talking to my various guests.

And each time I came across the girl, I could sense a growing interest from her side.  Which was great, because I was interested in her as well.

At some point, the party moved to a nearby club, where I found myself dancing with the girl. We started kissing, and eventually, I said, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Ok.”

So we got our coats and were about to walk out of the club. Just as we were at the door, she took a step back, furrowed up her eyebrows, and said: “Don’t think for a minute you’re taking me back to your place tonight.”

Thanks to being tired and a bit buzzed, I didn’t flinch at this. Instead, I looked her in the eye and said, “No problem. We’ll go to your place instead.”

She thought about this for a moment, and concluded that it was perfectly satisfactory. So we went to her place, and spent the first of many nights together.

I’ve just started re-reading Jim Camp’s “No: The Only Negotiating System You Need for Work and Home.” And here’s a relevant passage I just came across:

“If you’re a parent, you know that every child hears ‘no’ as the start of a negotiation, not the end of it. As adults, however, we’ve been conditioned and trained to fear the word.” 

I think that learning not to over-react to hearing “no” is not just good negotiation, but also one of the fundamentals of persuasion.

And just so we’re clear: I’m not talking about being pushy, insensitive, or “not taking ‘no’ for an answer”.

Instead, I’m talking about managing your own internal, emotional state, and keeping your sights on your goal in spite of the decoys being launched in front of you.

A clever persuasion tactic from a 1970s racist lackey

by

Here’s a bit of movie trivia:

Woody Allen has won the Academy Award for best original screenplay three times. Twice, he did it alone. Once, in collaboration with Marshall Brickman.

Francis Ford Coppola has also won the same award three times, as have Billy Wilder and Charles Brackett. Each of them has shared at least one of those awards.

Only one guy has ever won the Academy Award for the best screenplay three times, working entirely by himself.

That guy is Paddy Chayefsky.

Right now, I’m rewatching my favorite Paddy Chayefsky Academy-Award-winning movie. It’s called Network, and it deals with the network TV business in the 1970s.

Halfway through the movie, Diana Christiansen, a heartless new breed of TV exec, meets with a representative of the Communist Party of the United States, Laureen Hobbs, in order to discuss making a program based on live recordings of acts of political terrorism. This is how the introduction goes:

Diana Christensen: Hi. I’m Diana Christensen, a racist lackey of the imperialist ruling circles.

Laureen Hobbs: I’m Laureen Hobbs, a badass commie nigger.

Diana Christensen: Sounds like the basis of a firm friendship.

Clever, right?

“Allow me to disarm you with my honesty”

This introduction does a few things well. For one thing, Diana agrees with what Laureen already believes (the Marxist idea of “class for itself”). At the same time, the introduction is entirely and brutally honest, almost self-dismissing. It’s also very different from what is expected, immediately stirring curiosity and buying a bit of time.

This kind of strategy is what negotiation coach Jim Camp called a “negative stripline.” A negative stripline is when you go fully negative on some sensitive point, to the extent that the other side feels a bit bad and wants to reel you back in towards more middle ground.

So how can you use negative striplining in marketing?

Well, if you’re sending out cold emails to prospect for new customers, you could try opening with something like:

“Hello, my name is John Bejakovic and all I really want is some of your money. However, since I don’t have the skills to rob you, I have to offer you something you’d value in exchange. In my case, the only thing I know well is sales copywriting.”

If you’re selling an ebook about aromatherapy (as I plan to do soon), you could start off the sales letter by saying:

“There’s been a lot of hype about essential oils, and most of it has zero basis in reality. In fact, essential oils have on occasion hurt people who tried using them. And yet, there are cases when essential oils are not completely worthless, and can even be used safely.”

If you’re selling a probiotic:

“The human gut is enormously complex. Scientists know only a little about the myriad interactions between gut bacteria, other species of gut bacteria, and our own bodies. Odds are, they won’t have a good idea about it for another 100 years, and there’s no way to make any firm recommendations right now. However, if you want to self-experiment as a way of fixing your digestive issues, then this probiotic might be worth a look. Here’s why.”

I’ve never written anything this extreme for any of my clients. I don’t know if it would work. But if you want me to write something brutally honest (and possibly disarming) for your business, here’s where to go.