Alfred Hitchcock

The Psycho rules you MUST have for a stronger business and more successful customers

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Last night, as lights dimmed around the city and the streets got quiet and a lonely owl started hooting somewhere in the distance, I settled into bed and started watching…

Psycho!

(​​The trailer.)

This was a 6-minute promo movie, made by Alfred Hitchcock, to drum up anticipation for the real Psycho movie.

The Psycho trailer features Hitchcock himself, showing off the Psycho set as if it were a real crime scene.

​​With cheery music playing, Hitchcock walks around the set, hints at the murders that happened in different rooms, and occasionally pouts and frowns at camera as if to say, “You there, in the second row, what odd thing are you doing?”

At the end of it all, Hitchcock walks into the motel, to the bathroom.

“Well they cleaned all this up now,” he says. “Big difference. You should have seen the blood. The whole place was… well, it’s too horrible to describe.”

In spite of this, Hitchcock continues his cheery tour. He points out the toilet — an important clue — and then the shower. The camera zooms in as he reaches for the shower curtain, pulls it back swiftly, and—

A screaming woman’s face flashes and the famous Psycho slasher music cuts into your ears.

The closing credits appear, and then a notice:

“PSYCHO: The picture you MUST see from the beginning… or not at all! For no one will be seated after the start.”

“What?” I asked my laptop. No one allowed in late? Is this for real?”

It turns out yes.

Hitchcock made a rule for the release of Psycho. Nobody would be allowed into the theater, any theater, anywhere around country, after the movie had started.

Studio honchos were worried that this arbitrary rule would hurt ticket sales.

But you, my dear marketing psycho, probably know better.

What do you think happened?

Did people hear they won’t be allowed in late, and decide to stay away?

Did a few people who did come late, and who got turned away, and who fumed about it… did these people sour everybody else from seeing the movie?

Of course not.

Lines formed around the block, in cities around the US, made up of people waiting to see Psycho, at the appointed time.

Of course, these people were not there only because of this “No late admission” rule.

But I’m 100% sure this rule contributed to the fact that Pyscho broke box-office records in its opening weekend, and has become such a keystone of pop culture since.

Maybe you see where I’m going with this.

People loooove draconian rules and restrictions, particularly in a take-it-or-leave it setting.

Sure, some people get turned away. Either because they know in advance they can’t make it to the theater in time, or more likely, because they dawdle.

But some people will be intrigued who wouldn’t care otherwise. And more important, many people will treat the person setting the rules with a new level of respect and deference.

Ben Settle recently wrote an email about his Psycho rule not to allow people who unsubscribe from his Email Players newsletter to re-subscribe down the line. Ben wrote:

“I’ve tested, tweaked, experimented with, and practiced this policy for nearly 10 years. And I have found, without exception, the harsher I am with this policy, the stronger my business gets with far more successful customers. On the other hand, the more lenient I am with this policy, the weaker my business gets with far more weak-minded customers. It’s such an integral part of what makes my business model work, that it’s ‘part’ of my marketing now, just like clean parks are ‘part’ of Disneyland’s customer service.”

So there you go. If you want a stronger business and more successful customers, stop allowing anyone into your theater after the lights dim.

Or stop allowing them back in, if they ever leave for a pee break.

Or come up with yer own Psycho rules. Ones that match your personality, your preferences, and your business objectives.

“Here it comes,” some oddball in the second row is saying, while rubbing his hands together. “Here come Bejako’s rules. He always likes to write about an interesting marketing and business idea, and then implement it in the same email.”

True. I do like to implement good ideas as soon as I write about them.

But another thing I like to do is to take a really important idea, and sit on it for a while, and then implement it in future emails, and throughout my business.

This particular idea, about Psycho rules, is big enough and important enough to warrant more time and space than I want to take for a single email.

But keep an eye out, if you have an eye to spare, and maybe will see me pulling back the shower curtain some time soon, and with scary slasher music suddenly playing, startling my list with one of my new Pyscho rules.

Meanwhile, if you want my advice, insights, and guidance (no copywriting) when it comes to your existing email marketing funnels, you can contact me using the form below.

No arbitrary rules or hoops to jump through — yet.

​​Here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/consulting

Hitchcock sales structure

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The exciting climax of Alfred Hitchcock’s North By Northwest goes like this:

Eva Marie Saint is about to fall off a cliff.

Cary Grant is reaching down to try to keep her from falling.

“I can’t,” she says.

“Yes you can,” he says.

And then one of the evil guy’s henchmen comes and starts to crush Cary’s fingers underfoot. But Cary needs those fingers to hold on to the cliff, and to keep himself and Eva from death below.

Like I said, that’s the climax.

But don’t worry.

It all turns out fine. The police arrive and shoot the evil henchman, who falls off the cliff. The main bad guy is caught. The secret microfilm is safe. And some time later, Cary and Eva, who made it off the cliff and got married in the meantime, head back east by train to start a new life together. The end.

Pretty usual Hollywood, right?

Right. The only unusual thing is the speed:

That entire anti-climactic sequence, from the moment Cary gets his fingers crushed to the train ride home, takes a total of 43 seconds.

​​43 seconds!

For reference, North By Northwest is a movie that lasts 2 hours and 16 minutes.

Of the total, 2 hours, 14 minutes, and 17 seconds goes to building up tension and misery.

The last 43 seconds goes to relieving it.

And yet people watch. And more relevant for us, they buy.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve previously had the task of selling many generic, unremarkable, sometimes suspect physical products. To boot, these products often sold at 3-4 times the price you could find on Amazon.

How can you possibly sell millions of dollars of a commodity at three times the price that anybody can get, just by shopping as they always do?

In my case, the answer was stories. Full of tension and misery. That’s how the bulk of the sales message went.

And when you thought things were bad, an evil henchman came to make it all worse.

The relief of all that tension, in the form of talking about the product, was really an afterthought. Not quite at Hitchcock levels, but still.

So that’s my takeaway for you.

Don’t sell overpriced crap.

​​But even if you sell something great, it probably makes sense to talk less about it than you want to. Instead, focus more of your prospect’s time and attention on that “I can’t/Yes you can” drama.

And in case you want more storytelling and selling ideas:

You might like my email newsletter.

An ugly 8-point checklist for writing copy faster

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I read a story yesterday about energetic writer Georges Simenon.

Over the course of his life, Simenon put out almost 200 novels, over 150 novellas, and countless stories.

He wrote fast. And he wouldn’t allow himself to be interrupted while writing.

So one time, when Alfred Hitchcock called, he was told that Simenon was unavailable, because he’d just started writing a new novel.

“That’s all right,” said Hitchcock. “I’ll wait.”

I bring this up because some time last week, I wrote about the importance of writing fast for copywriters.

It’s not simply about whipping yourself to go faster, like a burdened and bleeding donkey that’s struggling up a hill.

No bleeding is required.

Because there are ways to write and finish copy faster, while actually producing better results and stressing less. Here are some of those ways, based on my experience:

#1. Minimize your commute

It’s exhausting to read a bit, to switch tabs, to write a bit, to switch tabs again — no, wrong tab — switch tabs again, read a bit…

​​It’s like commuting to work. It doesn’t pay, but it costs you.

Things that I’ve experimented with to minimize this commute include keeping a notebook and writing down ideas with pen and paper while I read on the laptop. Also, opening up new browser and text editor windows specifically for that one project, and staying within them while working on the project.

#2. Steal from the rich and give to the poor

Keep track of successful ads and promotions. And then use them to swipe lead ideas. Swipe headline structure. Swipe sales letter outlines. Look over your swipe file, pull out a dozen relevant ads, put them all in front of your face, and use them for inspiration.

#3. Let that turkey bake

Before you start jamming away at your keyboard, give your creative mechanism a bit of time and space to form some ideas. This might sound a bit woo-woo, but you’ll know when it’s time to start writing.

#4. Channel Jack Kerouac

Once the turkey has reached critical temperature, put your hands on the keyboard and write. Write fast, physically fast, without punctuation, indentation, fact checking, etc. Channel Jack Kerouac, who wrote On The Road, an xx-page novel [fill in later], in y days [fill in later].

#5. Be the hammer AND the anvil

Goethe wrote, “You must be either the servant or the master, the hammer or the anvil.” Well, I think you gotta do both. First give your orders and make your commands, without mercy. Then, follow your own orders and commands blindly, without thinking or doubting.

This is where checklists, templates, and systems come in. Don’t have ’em yet? Start right now, and define some systems and checklists for yourself. Then get to work, and update your checklists and systems based on your results.

#6. “It takes an early bird to get the best of a worm like me”

That’s a quote from the great movie Pillow Talk. And it’s appropriate because in this worm’s experience, it’s best to work in the mornings. The brain is just more productive. I’ve heard this from lots of copywriters as well. These days, my working day usually starts at 7:30am and finishes by 11:30am.

#7. All play and no work makes John a tired boy

I work for 45 minutes and then I take a 15 minute break. But those 45 minutes are devoted to the task I’m working on. If I can’t focus on work, then I simply stare at the laptop in contempt.

The reason I do this is NOT to be more productive, though that’s a nice side effect. The reason is that it’s exhausting to force myself to get back to work after I’ve been slacking off. And it drags out the whole project by much more than just the wasted time.

#8. Accept gifts from the deep

Coming up with ideas is hard. Particularly when working. On the other hand, my brain — or some deep, unconscious part of it — will often come up with ideas at random times throughout the day. So I write those ideas down whenever they come, and I use my working time for more menial, mechanical, and less creative work.

And that’s my 8-item checklist. I hope you will find it useful. And yes, I realize that 8 is an ugly number, but that’s all I’ve got for now.

Of course, I will update this checklist when new ideas pop into my head.

Or when I start a new project, and I find that I’m still getting stuck and writing too slowly, even with this checklist in hand.

But more about that later. For now, if you want more checklists, specifically for writing story-based advertorials, then check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/