I will attempt to make you salivate with this email

Some time ago, I sent an email with the nonsense subject line:

“The real secret to how I survive the biggest mistake you are making the fastest way”

That was in response to a message I got from a mysterious reader. He sent me an email with no body, with just a file attached. The file had seven “tested and proven” subject line templates, which I mashed together to produce that monster above.

A bit of fun to prove a point. I thought that would be the end of it.

Except, a few days ago, my mysterious “won’t even say hello” correspondent popped up again. Another empty-bodied email. Another file attached.

This file promised to teach me “How to Make Your Reader Salivate Over Your Offer.”

The file described a sales technique. I won’t repeat it here. While it’s solid sales advice, it really won’t make anyone anywhere salivate.

I mean, really.

​​Have you ever found yourself literally salivating at a bit of sales copy? Staring at the screen, your lips parted, your tongue lolling around your mouth, having to swallow hard every few seconds?

Of course not. That kind of physical reaction is impossible to produce with words alone. Right?

Right. Or maybe not right. ​Because here’s a passage that this “make your reader salivate” stuff brought to my mind:

​For instance, just think of the word lemon, or get a quick image of a lemon and notice your response.

​​Now see a richly yellow 3-D image of the same lemon, and imagine slicing it in half with a sharp knife. Listen to the sound the knife makes as it slices through, and watch some of the juice squirt out, and small the lemon scent released.

​​Now reach out to pick up one of the lemon halves and bring it slowly to your mouth to taste it. Listen to the sound that your teeth make as hey bite into the juicy pulp, and feel the sour juice run into your mouth. Again, notice your response. Are you salivating a bit more than you did when you just had a word or a brief image of a lemon?

This passage comes from a self-help book. It’s in a chapter on getting motivated. It describes a technique that’s supposed to make you want an outcome more. Because as Seth Godin wrote a while ago:

Humans are unique in their ability to willingly change. We can change our attitude, our appearance and our skillset.

But only when we want to.

The hard part, then, isn’t the changing it.

It’s the wanting it.

I don’t know if the lemon technique above works in making you want to change. At least for the long term. But it doesn’t matter much.

My point is not how to achieve real change in yourself… but how to achieve the feeling of possible change in other people.

Because if you are in the business of direct response marketing… then much of your work consists of spiking up people’s feelings just long enough that they step out of the warm bathtub of their usual inactivity.

And that’s why popular self-help books might have a lot to offer you.

Which brings me to an offer that will almost certainly not make you salivate. In fact, this offer will probably not interest you or tempt you in the least.

Because my offer to you is the book from which I took that lemon passage above.

​​I already promoted that book extensively in this newsletter. It’s called NLP, and it was written by Steve Andreas and Charles Faulkner.

I promoted this book previously as a self-help book.

The value of this book as such is dubious, as is the value of all self-help books.

But the value of this book as a guide on how to stimulate the feeling of change and progress… of motivation and inspiration… in yourself and other people — that value is certain.

And for any marketer or copywriter who is willing and able to read the book as such, the book will be delicious. Maybe even mouthwatering. Figuratively speaking of course. In case you want it:

https://bejakovic.com/nlp

Chicken soup for the marketer’s, copywriter’s, and salesman’s soul

“In this traffic, all these vehicles stopped and idling in my way, it’s not impossible that some of these people in SUV’s have been in horrible auto accidents in the past, and now find driving so terrifying that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive. Or that the Hummer that just cut me off is maybe being driven by a father whose little child is hurt or sick in the seat next to him, and he’s trying to get this kid to the hospital, and he’s in a bigger, more legitimate hurry than I am: it is actually I who am in HIS way.”

The above quote is from David Foster Wallace, from his famous “This is Water” commencement speech at Kenyon College.

At some point in your life, you’ve probably either heard this exact quote on something very much like it. It’s basically cognitive behavioral therapy:

1. You only ever have a few pixels of evidence about what’s “really” going on.

2. Those pixels can fit into multiple consistent pictures.

3. Some of those pictures are more pleasant and useful for you to look at than others.

4. So you might as well focus on the useful and the pleasant pictures.

Pretty good advice, right?

Except, I happen to be professionally warped through my work as a direct response copywriter.

And so, while most people might see a healthy life lesson above, I see a sales technique.

A couple days ago, I talked about Sam Taggart, the door-to-door salesman profiled in a New Yorker article.

I showed you one way that Taggart deals with objections. But here’s another way, from the article:

Usually, once the customer realizes she’s being pitched, she’ll say anything to make the salesman go. When I canvassed with Taggart, I often felt anxious: They really want us to leave! But he interpreted every objection as an appeal for further information. He heard “I can’t afford it” as “Show me how I can afford it,” and “I already have a gun and a mean dog” as “What else do I need to fully protect my family?”

Taggart always takes objections as a request for more info, and questions as a sign of interest.

And why not?

Like DFW says above, it’s not impossible. In fact, in at least some situations, it’s exactly what’s happening.

When a potential customer or client asks you an accusatory question, or when they raise an insurmountable objection, those are just air bubbles on the surface of the ocean. You don’t really know what’s going on underneath the surface to produce those bubbles. So you might as well imagine a colorful and fun underwater party, populated by singing crabs and smiling tropical fish who really want you to succeed. “Darling it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from meeeee…”

Anyways, the New Yorker profile of Sam Taggart doesn’t paint a very flattering picture of the guy. But that’s mainly New Yorker propaganda. And in any case, there’s a lot of value in that article, if you only, as they say, read between the lines.

I might write about some of that valuable stuff in the future. If you want to catch that when it comes out, sign up to my daily email newsletter.

Goodfellas, Wolf of Wall Street, and a bucket (these aren’t movies)

For just a moment, think back to your high school days. And imagine you get home one day from a long hard seven hours of being unpopular and ridiculous…

… ​​only to find your parents sitting on the couch, arms crossed, waiting for you.

Without a word, your father stands up, grabs you by the arm, and leads you to a spare room. He locks you in there — it’s for your own good, he says. There’s a bucket in there in case you really need to pee.

The next day, you’re allowed to go to school again. But when you get back home, the same thing happens. Room, lock, bucket. And this goes on for months.

So now the trick question:

How do you think you would feel about this?

Think about that for a moment.

And once you’re done thinking, let me suggest that the reality of how you would feel might be quite different from what you just imagined.

At least that’s what I learned in a fascinating talk by Rich Schefren, to whom this room-bucket story actually happened.

You might know of Rich already. I’ve mentioned him literally hundreds of times in this newsletter.

Rich is a super smart and successful marketer. He’s one of the people in this business I respect and admire the most.

All that respect and admiration came from listening to Rich talk about business, about marketing, about writing.

“Boy this guy is insightful,” I always think to myself, “and really nice to boot.”

But the fact is, all this time I knew nothing of Rich’s crazy life story, except that at one point he ran a downtown Manhattan clothing store and at another time a hypnosis center.

I didn’t know anything about Rich’s teenage association with the actual Goodfellas in New York… I didn’t know about that room with the bucket… I didn’t know he worked in a boiler room while Jordan Belfort aka the Wolf of Wall Street performed his famous “One-Call Close.”

I’m a copywriter and I’ve hyped up gurus before. Meaning that, I know all the usual elements of origin stories in the DR world — I was living in a van down by the river, my parents hung up on me when I called them for help, my wife left me and took everything but the cat.

And yet, even though I’m so jaded, Rich’s story actually made me say, “Holy calf, this is crazy.”

So Rich’s talk is worth watching just because his story is fascinating.

But then there’s the back end of the talk, where Rich ties it up with some life lessons.

Now in general, I’m allergic to life lesson porn.

But if there is anybody I would take life lessons from, it’s Rich Schefren.

And in fact, over the past week, I’ve gone back in my head over and over to the story of Rich in the room with the bucket, and the conclusion he drew from this experience.

In case you are curious, you can hear Rich talk all about it, and about many other interesting things, at the link below:

https://pages.strategicprofits.com/rich-diamond-day-c

Rejection stings, but this might help

“You have to love yourself first. How else can you expect anyone else to love you?”

I knew a girl once who shared that bit of wisdom with me. I was young and naive and it sounded reasonable.

But then I lived a bit more. There were times when — not only did I not love myself — I didn’t remotely like myself.

And yet, other people loved me. My mom and my dad, of course. Friends. Girlfriends. They didn’t know or didn’t care whether I found myself unlovable — they loved me.

Message received, loud and clear. So I concluded the following:

When somebody loves you, it says much more about them than about you. It says they are able and ready to love. All we know about you (not you specifically, you know what I mean) is that you are an adequate target for their love.

Anyways, that’s a bit of personal philosophy I wanted to share with you. I’m not trying to depress you, by the way. Quite the opposite.

Because I believe it works the same the other way around. If somebody does not love you… well, it says more about them than it says about you.

But this newsletter is about marketing and copywriting. So let me tie it up:

I bring this up in case you’re hustling, in business for yourself, or trying to flush customers or clients out of their hiding places. If that’s you, then you know (or soon will) that rejection is part of the game. Leads dismiss you. Clients leave you. Clients ignore you.

And?​​

It doesn’t say much about you. Not as long as you’re at least adequate. And if you’re not, that’s usually easy to fix.
​​
I’ve been rejected thousands of times, personally and in business. It stings almost every time. But little logical reminders, like the one above, can help.

Can help what?

They can help you go out there and get rejected again. They can help you keep working. Which is how you find success eventually — and even self-acceptance, if you haven’t got it now.

Anyways, on to JV opportunities:

​​Over the past couple days, I have been making a call for people who might be a good fit for my “cash buyers’ list​​”.

I’ve had a healthy number of people respond so far. Which makes me think there might still be more people out there who could be a good fit for this offer.

S​o if you haven’t taken me up on this invitation yet, and you want to know more about it, read on here:

https://bejakovic.com/an-email-business-worth-0-52-billion-yes-billion/​​

An inspiring Aaron Winter recommendation

If you are a bit of a word nerd, then I have something that might fascinate you:

The words free and friend are closely related, and both derive from an ancient root meaning love.

Maybe the path from love to friend seems straightforward.

But free? What’s love got to do with it?

Well, here’s the surprising explanation:

Apparently, the original meaning of free was “not a slave”. A free person was able engage in social relationships such as friendship and marriage. On the other hand, slavery was a condition in which all social bonds were cut off, and the only relation was being owned by the master.

Perhaps that sounds abstract. An example might help:

If a Roman legionnaire was captured in war, made into a slave, and then escaped and made it back home, he would have to go through laborious rituals to recreate his entire social network, including remarrying his wife. That’s because becoming a slave was equivalent to “social death” and the severing of all social ties.

That thing with the Roman wife and the free/friend etymology are two curious factoids I got from the book The Dawn of Everything.

This book takes a bunch of new anthropology and archeology research that has come out over the past few decades, and it turns upside-down what you might think of as well-established human history.

I’m telling you about all this because yesterday, I promised to tell you the most valuable thing I have gotten (so far) from the Dig.This.Zoom training.

Well, the recommendation to read The Dawn of Everything is it.

Partly, that’s because The Dawn of Everything is full of interesting tidbits like the free/friend etymology above.

But really, I found this book valuable because of how inspiring it is. Because through detailed argument and seemingly endless research, it makes the following point:

Human beings choose and shape the societies live in. There’s nothing inevitable about the way the world is, or about the way it’s going to develop.

Aaron Winter, the copywriter who is putting on the Dig.This.Zoom training, recommended this book to suggest that something similar holds on a smaller scale as well.

Aaron’s point was that you can choose and shape how you work, and with who you work. There’s nothing inevitable and you are not bound by industry norms, not if you don’t want to be.

Again, I found this inspiring. I always enjoy being reminded that we all have agency, and that we can choose and shape how our lives turn out, even though it might not be obvious in any given moment.

I’m not sure I’ve done enough to either motivate you or convince you with this email.

But perhaps you resonate on some level with the idea that today’s society is not the only possible one, and that very real paths exist to something better.

Or perhaps you are greedy for lots of interesting facts and arguments that will make you a more interesting person to your friends, acquaintances, or newsletter readers.

In either of these cases, you might get some value, or perhaps a lot, out of The Dawn of Everything. Here’s the link if you want to check it out:

https://bejakovic.com/dawn

The Email Player Haters’ Ball

A few years ago, Ben Settle revealed that he now makes over a million dollars a year from his emails and info products.

Bob Bly has long said how his own, twice-a-week email newsletter, plus collection of $39 ebooks, earns him a healthy 6-figure income to complement his client work.

And last December, it leaked out that Daniel Throssell’s 2021 email income was “significantly higher” than $250k.

So where does that leave me?

I’ll tell you where.

It leaves me on the stage of the Email Player Haters’ Ball, receiving the award for best Email Player Hater. Like Dave Chappelle in his Playa Haters’ Ball skit, I’ll start off my acceptance speech by saying:

“First off, I’d like to thank God Almighty for giving everyone else so much… and me so little. [boos from the crowd] I hate you… I hate you… I don’t even know you, but I hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you, and nobody else but you. [more boos]”

I won’t tell you exactly what I made over the past year from this newsletter. Let’s just say it’s equivalent to a modest salary. It’s certainly much lower than Daniel, Bob, or Ben make from their newsletters.

But in spite of my joke Email Player Hater status, I’m not stressing about my newsletter earnings.

In part, that’s because I tell myself that every blockheaded and self-defeating thing I do with this newsletter serves a deeper purpose. It allows me to stick with it for the long term.

But also, I don’t stress because of something I do instinctively, or rather something I don’t do:

​​I don’t compare myself to others, at least when it comes to business and money.

Over the past six days, I’ve been telling you about the six characteristics of a positive mental attitude. Today it’s time for the last one:

​Self-to-self comparisons.

The idea is that if you want a positive mental attitude… then don’t be a player hater or a player admirer.

​​Don’t look at all the people ahead of you on the great treadmill of life, and don’t stress how they are all the way up there… and you’re all the way back here.

Instead, simply compare where you are right now to where you were yesterday, yestermonth, and yesteryear.

And that’s it. The end of my 6-part, positive-attitude, let-me-put-you-to-sleep series.

Maybe you feel that was a little abrupt. Maybe you’re even left feeling a little unsatisfied.

After all, self-to-self comparisons might be good. But isn’t there value in looking to others for inspiration?

And didn’t I even say in my email yesterday that it’s good to be inspired by a vision that’s tinted by envy and bitterness?

True.

And that’s not the only confusing and conflicted part of this positive attitude stuff.

The fact is, if keeping a positive mental attitude were easy and simple and direct, then everybody would be doing it, all the time. And everybody would be happy, healthy, and on their way to being successful, all the time.

Of course, that’s not what you see at your local Bed Bath & Beyond.

Having a positive attitude consistently, or at least when it matters, isn’t particularly natural to most people.

The good news is, being aware of what it takes is step one. That’s what you have now.

But it will still take some repetition, practice, and maybe even juggling for this to have any chance to sink into your subconscious. For it to be useful the next time you might be recovering from a bad injury… or learning how to play the tuba… or building out an email-based business.

To help you get that repetition and practice, you can always reread these emails. Or just sign up for my email newsletter, and let me do all the work for you.

The paradox of the long- and short-term view of success

A couple months ago, former UFC featherweight champ Max Holloway was preparing for a super important fight. Perhaps the most important fight of his career.

Max’s manager, Christopher Daggett, had the following to say about this preparation:

===

“Everything with Max — whether it’s finances, his family, brand, partnerships, charity, his health — all of these are long-term things. But when it comes to the fight game, everything is short-term. We’re looking three feet ahead and that’s it. So, to that end, it always feels like everything is at stake. We’re putting everything on the table. At the same time, we know that no matter what, two weeks from now, Max is still Max. That sounds like a contradiction. But really, from a short term, everything is at stake, but everything will be fine two weeks from now and we understand that.”

===

The above quote may sound paradoxical, so to recap the essential:

In one instant, Max and his team focus on just the next step (three feet ahead, everything is at stake).

​​In the next instant, they focus on the long-term destination (no matter what happens, everything will be fine, Max is still Max).

​​And they do this over and over.

I bring up this quote to invite you to look at both long term and short term of this email.

In the short term, I want to tell you that:

Looking at your goals both from 3 feet away… and also from 30,000 miles away… is one of the 6 characteristics shared by people who have a positive mental attitude. At least around a specific goal or activity.

Perhaps you think “positive mental attitude” is such a worn-out phrase. Perhaps you are surprised I’m even writing about it.

I’m doing so because read I about positive mental attitude a while back in a book I liked a lot and found very valuable.

But more importantly, I’m doing it because well-worn doesn’t mean well-near-worthless.

​I hope you can see that. And I hope you don’t just jump on every bandwagon passing through town, trying to lure you to the new success and self-help circus that just pitched its tent down at the old horse track.

The fact is, the 6 characteristics of a positive mental attitude have helped athletes recover from serious injuries… star Wall Street traders win at the stock market… and have probably responsible, consciously or unconsciously, for much of the success in this world.

For example, once I found out about these 6 characteristics, I recognized them from my own life. I wasn’t always aware of them. And I didn’t always have them. But when I achieved the things I have achieved in my life, these characteristics were there, whether I knew it or not.

So that’s the short term. ​​T​oday’s email. Where I told you about you one of these characteristics, about the short-term and long-term views to your goals.

As for the the long term, meaning next few days, I will tell you the remaining 5 of 6 characteristics. In case you’d like to read about those characteristics as I write about them, you can sign up for my email newsletter here.

The destructive power of analogy

Today I’d like to start by sharing an inspirational quote:

“If you feel you’re under-motivated, consider this: the word ‘motivation’ is used only by people who say they don’t have it. People who are ‘motivated’ rarely use such a term to describe themselves. They just get on with the task at hand. ‘Lack of motivation’ is an excuse: it’s giving a name to not just getting the job done.”

I read that in Derren Brown’s book, Tricks of the Mind. Brown seems like somebody I might have become in another life, had I only craved attention instead of shying away from it. And so when I read Brown’s quote, I nodded along and said, “Hmm that’s interesting. Maybe that’s even profound. Hey maybe there’s hope for me!”

Well, it wasn’t really me saying that. It was the little angel who usually sits upon my right shoulder.

“Psst, you there,” said the little devil who usually sits upon my left shoulder. “You wanna go smoke some cigars and drink some hooch? Or do you wanna hear why that D. Brown quote is bunk?”

“Err no,” I said. “This quote is inspiring. Please don’t ruin it for me. I’d like to believe it. Plus it makes sense. After all, if motivated people don’t know the feeling of being motivated, clearly it’s not a real thing.”

“Well let me ask you this,” said the little devil. “Do you know any 9-year-old kids?”

“No.”

“Well pretend like you do. Or just think back to when you were 9. Do you ever remember waking up in the morning after a blessed 10 hours of deep sleep… jumping out of bed… and with a stretch and a big smile on your face, saying, ‘Boy I feel so healthy today!'”

“Oh no…”

“Yeah, that’s right. Kids don’t talk like that, at least not the vast majority, the ones who have been perfectly healthy their whole life. But does that mean that there is no such thing as health? That you can’t be in good health or in bad health? Or by extension, that there’s no such thing as motivation and lack of m—”

“Get thee behind me Satan!” I yelled. But my mood was already spoiled and the quote above was ruined for me.

Maybe I managed to ruin it for you as well. If so, it was all for a good cause. I just wanted to illustrate the destructive power of analogy.

Fact is, Brown might really be right. There might not be any such thing as motivation.

But the fact he tried to prove it in a specific way (“motivated people never use the word”) was easy to spoil with my analogy to kids and health. And maybe, just maybe, your brain made the same leap after that which my brain did.

“Well, health is real… and if health and motivation are alike in this one way… then motivation must be real.”

​​But that’s not proven anywhere.

Anyways, now I’m getting into ugly logic which is really not what persuasion or this email are about.

I just want to point out that, if you want to persuade somebody of something, or if you want to dissuade somebody of something, then the most subtle and often the most persuasive thing you can do is to take two pushpins and a piece of string.

​​Stick one pushpin into an apple. Stick the other into an orange. Tie the string between the pushpins. Make it tight.

And then hold up your creation to the world and say, “Draw your own conclusions! But to me, these two look fundamentally the same! Just look at the string that connects them!”

Anyways, D. Brown does not talk much about analogies in his Tricks of the Mind. That’s his only omission. Because this book really has everything you need to persuade and influence — and from somebody who is both a serious student and a serious practitioner of all this voodoo.

In fact, the last time I mentioned this book in one of my emails, a successful but low-key marketer wrote in to tell me:

John!

Maybe you didn’t get the memo! You can’t tell people about Derren Brown’s “Tricks of the Mind”.

It’s against the rules.

As a friend of mine said, “That’s too much in one book. Don’t give the chimps tools.”

LOL

Well, maybe my mysterious reader is right. So don’t buy a copy of Derren Brown’s book. But if you do want occasional chimp-safe tools from that book, or from other valuable persuasion and influence sources, then you might like my daily newsletter.

I was doing “massive action” all wrong

I just spent an hour sending out about a dozen emails to random people on random topics.

Some of them were personal.

Some were to connect those who might get value out of knowing each other.

Some had to do with my own little publishing business, of which you are reading the marketing right now.

The total time to send all those emails was under an hour. The total work, in terms of effort and brainpower, was nothing.

I don’t know what’s gonna come out of all those emails.

But I bet that out of those 12 emails, at least one big and positive thing will emerge that’s not anywhere near to the surface today. Perhaps it will be some totally new and fantastical beast, with bat wings, a cat tail, and maybe a donkey head… ready to entertain me, or make me some money, or maybe open up doors I don’t even know exist right now.

All this brought to mind something I overheard once during the Q&A part of a Dan Kennedy seminar. Somebody in the audience mentioned the “principle of massive action.”

I’ve known about “massive action” for a long while.

In fact, at different times in my life, I’ve been a devotee to the idea. But I always took it to mean something in a kind of Grant Cardonish sense – work harder than you’re working now, 10x harder, and quit complaining.

But this person in Dan Kennedy’s audience gave a different meaning to massive action. One that seems to exist within the Dan Kennedy galaxy.

Yes, “massive action” still involves taking action, and maybe even doing work.

But the key thing, according to what I read from Dan Kennedy, is to take action in a bunch of different dimensions.

Think up 12 different ways to solve a problem. And get going on all of them, all at once.

“Err Bejako,” I hear you say, “are you telling me to grind 12 times harder? How is this an improvement over Grant Cardone’s 10x fluff?”

Nope. Grinding is not required.

Of course, some of those 12 possible solutions might be hard to move forward.

But some may be easy.

Some may require you to do real work. Many won’t.

Some might require sitting and thinking, or writing and editing. Others might just require a quick email to someone you know.

You never know which one approach will end up being the one to solve your problem. And if my experience is any guide, it usually won’t be the most difficult and time-consuming one, the one that requires Grant Cardonish grinding. Plus, there’s seems to be some multiplicative magic when you take different approaches to solve a problem, beyond simple addition.

Anyways, I’m not sure if this helps you in any way.

But if you want more ideas like this, ideas I’ve pilfered from people like Dan Kennedy, applied, and benefited from, then sign up for my daily email newsletter.

It was all my fault, and always has been

A few nights ago, I was lying in my plush bed, smoking a cigar and tossing grapes into my mouth one by one.

Life was good.

I had just sent out my email about the prestigious Dig.This.Zoom event. It was only a matter of time now.

A bit of movement in the corner of my bedroom caught my eye. It was my laptop, open to my Gmail inbox. A new email had arrived. I could just make out the subject line:

“Your form, ‘John Bejakovic consult request’, has a new response”

“Sooner than I expected,” I smirked, “but I’m not surprised.”

In that email about the Dig.This.Zoom event, I had successfully associated myself with heavyweight marketers Aaron Winter and Dan Ferrari. I ended that email with my consulting offer.

Clearly, I thought, some smart business owner, who owns a profitable niche business I would never have even dreamed about, and who reads my daily newsletter religiously, realized he could make much more money with my advice and guidance.

That business owner is now reaching out to offer to pay me in advance… if only he can get a bit of time on my calendar, and the opportunity to have my highly trained eyes locked critically on his email funnels, until I find small changes that can lead to big improvements.

I slid out of bed lazily and made my way to my laptop.

I imagined myself a few months down the line, getting an email from said business owner. The email would say:

“John I was skeptical when we first did the consult. But we made the changes you suggested. And now we’re making 11x what we were before from the same email funnel. I’m over the moon! I’m sure you don’t need yet another glowing testimonial. But if you ever want to use this publicly to let the world know how incredible you are, please go ahead. It would be an honor for me.”

“Well okay, if it would be an honor for you,” I said to my empty bedroom as I clicked the Google Forms link. “Let’s see who the lucky business owner is today. I wonder what mysterious and surprising line of work he is in.”

My ugly Google form opened up. My mouth hung open. My face sank.

There it was. My newest consulting request. The successful business owner from that surprising new niche I had been fantasizing about. The request read, in its entirety,

“I am a Nigerian direct response copywriter. I want to learn from you.”

I wasn’t sure what bothered me more. The fact that my fantasy had been popped, and that this was the polar opposite of the ideal consulting lead I was dreaming about. Or perhaps it was just the utter lack of effort involved in this “consulting request.”

“Learn from me? Learn what? How to write self-deprecating emails like this one? How to make ugly Google Forms? How to approach people in a way that shows you are serious about working with them and respectful of their time?”

I wasn’t sure how I could possibly respond to this request in a sensible way that didn’t waste more of my time. And then I realized I should just do it in a daily email to my list.

I also remembered a bit of philosophy I’ve long held near to my heart:

It’s always your fault.

That might not sound like the healthiest way to go through life. But it’s served me well.

If things ever go in the completely wrong direction, away from where I want to be, then like David Byrne, I always ask myself, “Well, how did I get here?”

Because pianos don’t just fall out of the sky and land on your head. You have to walk under them first, as they are hanging by a fraying rope. You have to stand around, spinning aimlessly from side to side, while that rope gets more and more frayed. And you have to make sure you never look up until finally the rope snaps.

So dear Nigerian direct response copywriter, if you are reading, don’t feel like I am picking on you.

It was my fault for not being sufficiently clear who my consulting offer was for, and what it was about.

If you’d like to learn from me — I assume how to write copy, but who knows — then my suggestion would be to wait another week.

That’s when I will reopen my Copy Riddles program.

​​Copy Riddles is a way to learn copywriting from me, in a very compact and affordable package. Much more affordable than the thousands or tens of thousands of dollars it would take if you want to get the equivalent knowledge from me in a series of one-on-one consults.

But perhaps you are not that Nigerian direct response copywriter looking to learn from me.

And perhaps now you have a clearer idea of my consulting offer is about. And perhaps you even think it might be smart for you, and for your business.

​​If so, fill out the ugly Google Forms form below. No need to go overboard. But give me more detail about you and your business than just saying, “I want to learn from you.”

https://bejakovic.com/consulting