Direct Marketing

Dude… you gotta read this email

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This morning I was idling on the Internet when I saw a clip of an MMA fight between all-time great Fedor Emelianenko and all-time loudmouth Chael Sonnen.

In the clip, Sonnen managed to get Emelianenko on the ground. Sonnen then did some fancy/silly move to get himself in trouble, with Emelianenko on top, raining punches down on Sonnen’s head.

But what really had me transfixed was looking at the ad on Sonnen’s shorts. It read:

DUDE WIPES

Dude wipes? It turns out to be a real thing. Disposable wet wipes for men, in masculine black packaging.

My first impression was that calling your intimate hygiene product “wipes” is already emasculating, and defeats all the manly branding.

But apparently I’m wrong. DUDE Wipes is a successful business. As proof:

They have many offers on their site beyond just wipes (DUDE bidet)…

They have endorsement deals with pro sports figures (pro golfer: “On the golf course and off it, I’m taking it to the hole with DUDE Wipes”)…

And on Amazon, various bundles of DUDE wipes have tens of thousands of reviews, almost all five-star, though with some caveats (“The wife is always reluctant to have them in the guest bath when we have company because of the, as she puts it, sophomoric name and black package”).

This brought to mind my long-simmering idea to create a business by taking a consumable product and applying it to an affinity or identity group.

The usual order in much of direct response is to take a niche and then figure out, what could we sell to them? What could we create and sell at a high-enough markup and with repeating revenue for long enough to make it worthwhile?

This system clearly works.

But the other way works also, and maybe even better. As Claude Hopkins put it, “It is a well-known fact that the greatest profits are made on great volume and small profit.”

So the idea is to take a consumable product which is a known seller to a mass audience, and brand it for a specific affinity or identity group.

I’ve already seen this done with coffee for Reformed Christians. That brand was called Reformed Roasters, and within two months of being launched, it was making $40k/month.

So why not a line of fine cheeses for militant atheists?

Or air fresheners for QAnon nuts?

Or dog food for dogs of heavy metal heads?

Maybe you say any of these ideas is arbitrary, and much more likely to fail than to work.

I’m sure you’re right. To make this work, you will need good marketing to get your Sunni Soda off the ground.

But if you have capital to invest, I happen to know a good marketer. And if you’re looking for a partner to help you create the next Pepsodent or Palmolive soap — for dudes — then sign up for my email list and then we can talk.

Surfin’ and slingin’

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A little over a year ago, specifically 381 days ago, I made the prediction that in the future, we would see the following:

Artificial intelligence gets good enough to generate content — TV shows, music, books.

But good enough for what?

Good enough for each of us. Each of us gets a custom stream of entertainment, based on our previous preferences… based on how our eyes dilate… based on whether we keep watching.

Each of us is served with the perfect content, just for us, just for that moment. Familiar enough… with the right amount of surprise to keep us fascinated and perfectly pleased.

I wrote that after seeing a series of AI apps that could generate realistic human faces… cat pictures… even functional music videos.

Well, a year has passed. And damn.

Maybe you saw the announcement three days ago about Dall-E-2.

Dall-E-1 appeared a year ago. It’s an AI thing that generates images from text descriptions. “A baby daikon radish in a tutu walking a dog” turns into a picture of just that.

Thing is, Dall-E-1 produced stiff, flat, lifeless pictures. I saw it last year. It was interesting but not very impressive.

But Dall-E-2? The one that they just got released three days ago?

It’s creative. Innovative. Even beautiful. The images it produces are understandable and yet surprising. Good enough to keep us, or at least me, fascinated and perfectly pleased.

And it all happened so fast. In one year, the state of the art in AI went from stiff wooden clipart to something bordering on real art or at least high-level graphic design.

My point being:

After the initial rush and push and fear that AI is coming to take your job — if you’re a copywriter, at least — it seems the noise died down. So it is always. We tire of the news, even when it becomes more relevant.

Instead, a complacent attitude set in. “Yeah yeah, AI will never matter for real copywriters. Or at least not any time soon. Human beings want human interaction, personality, warmth, insight.”

The initial AI-will-take-your-copywriting-job discussion came after GPT-3 was released a couple years ago.

But I’m much more impressed by this Dall-E-2. Take a look at the link below and see if you agree. It’s a bunch of Dall-E-2 generated images from cryptic, flowery Twitter bios (such as “surfin’ and slingin'”).

This Dall-E-2 technology does not output text. But when something similar comes for text generation from short prompts…

Well, all I’m saying is, start thinking of how to take your writing skills or your copy-based business… and turn it into something that will still be relevant in a year or maybe just six months from now, when the new update to GPT-3 comes out.

Or don’t.

​​You can also just wait those 6 months, and you will probably be able to ask GPT-4 to answer that question for you — better than you can, leaving you both impressed and a little humiliated at the superior intelligence and insight this thing has.

Anyways, that’s my new prediction.

But maybe I’m just blowing it all out of proportion. If you want to see Dall-E-2 in action for yourself, and see if I’m exaggerating, take a look below.

But before you go, sign up to my email newsletter. I still have six months before the Apocalypse to write you some human-generated content.

Anyways, here’s Dall-E-2:

https://twitter.com/nickcammarata/status/1511861061988892675

The Pope and Anthony Fauci are using this “Millionaire’s Secret” to create products that look, feel, and sell like blockbusters

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A few weeks ago, I was listening to an interview that James Altucher did with Peter Diamandis and Tony Robbins. And right as I was about to fall asleep, Tony said:

“Peter was going to go to the Vatican… where, believe it or not, every two years they have this regenerative medicine conference that the Pope actually hosts.”

“Woof,” I said, suddenly wide awake. And I lifted my nose up in the air, like an Irish setter that scents some game in the bushes.

It turns out there really is such an event. It’s called the International Vatican Conference.

The last one, which happened last May, was attended by the Pope himself, along with Anthony Fauci, the CEOs of Moderna and Pfizer, Ray Dalio, Chelsea Clinton, Cindy Crawford, David Sinclair, Deepak Chopra, and of course, aging rock star Steven Perry, the lead guitarist of Aerosmith.

Unfortunately, this latest International Vatican Conference was virtual and not held in real life​. Otherwise, you could write a Dan Ferrari-style lead, and paint the picture of the Pope walking down the soft red carpet in the gilded Hall of the Blessing, exchanging secret handshakes with Chelsea Clinton and wink-wink-nudge-nudging Ray Dalio.

I’m telling you all this for two reasons.

Reason one is that it’s a cool story I hadn’t heard anywhere before or since. If you’re looking for a hook for a VSL, now or in the coming months, I figure you can’t beat the intrigue of the Pope and Anthony Fauci and the CEO of Moderna in an invitation-only, world-shaping event held inside the Vatican.

Reason two is that maybe you don’t have a product to promote. Or your product simply doesn’t fit this Dan Brownish Vatican conference, and you’re struggling to find something equally intriguing.

In either case I would tell you, drop whatever you’re doing right now. And seriously consider creating a new business or at least a new product, built around this Vatican conference.

Because, as master copywriter Gary Bencivenga said once, great products are “those with a clear-cut, built-in, unique superiority supported by powerful proof elements.”

Gary’s advice was that you should create a product around a strong proof element to start, rather than create a product, and then start truffling out proof to support what you got.

Which is great. Only one thing I would add:

If you can additionally make your foundational proof dramatic and intriguing — again, think Dan Brown — well, then you’re really in for the kind of gold haul that would make the Vatican sit up and take notice.

So there you go. That’s my generational-wealth-building idea for you for today.

And when you do create your Vatican-scented regenerative essential oils, or whatever, and it ends up turning you into a multimillionaire, just remember me and send me a small finder’s fee. I’ll be grateful to you. And I’ll use it to take a trip to Rome and visit the Vatican — but just the outside.

Oh, and sign up for my email newsletter. You won’t believe the secrets and intrigue that are hiding inside.

Unusual guarantees, vol. 3

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To start, here’s a bit of futuristic auto news:

A few weeks ago, Mercedes introduced its Drive Pilot technology. It’s much like Tesla’s AutoPilot. It drives the car for you at low speeds. But Mercedes announced an important twist.

If you put your Mercedes on Drive Pilot and the car decides to run over somebody, crushing their foot… or severing their spine… or perhaps even killing them… then you will not be legally responsible.

​​Instead, the Mercedes corporation will be responsible.

So what’s new here?

Well I thought about that for a sec.

After all, what Mercedes is offering sounds just like a guarantee. But I realized it’s a special kind of guarantee, not often seen.

After all, the typical guarantee is something like this:

“Buy this Mercedes. If you’re not happy with it, or if it kills someone while you’re behind the steering wheel, you can return the car and get all your money back.”

A more extreme version is the double or triple money-back guarantee:

“Buy this Mercedes. If it kills someone while you’re behind the steering wheel, and you end up in jail for it, and you no longer want your Mercedes, just return it to us, or have your friends who are on the outside return it on your behalf. And we will refund your full buying price, plus we’ll give you an extra ‘We’re so sorry you’re in jail’ compensation, totaling 200% of what you originally paid.”

Maybe when I put it like that the point becomes clear.

The money you get back for a product that fails is often inadequate. Even when it’s all the money you put in, or even when it’s more. Your total cost is still greater, and sometimes it can’t be quantified in terms of money.

Of course, you’re not selling self-driving cars. But this idea can be used even for some modest direct response offers.

Perhaps you’re wondering how.

That’s something I will tell you about, or rather demonstrate, in an email soon. For today, I will just tease you with this:

I think the key is not to promise money in return. The key is to argue that your offer will make your buyer better off, in every way — whether your product works as intended or not.

In case you want more detail than that, the sign up to my email newsletter, and watch out for my upcoming emails.

Marketing to frustrated newlyweds and disgusted divorcees

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Last autumn, Reuters published an article about an Iraqi man named Aram Mehdi. Mehdi belongs to the persecuted Kurdish minority in Iraq. And though he grew up Muslim, Mehdi converted from Islam to Zoroastrianism.

He says it’s been a real struggle:

“We cannot even write a comment on a Facebook post as a Zoroastrian. Some people say it’s a taboo to dine with you, ugly animals are better than you. Others say, ‘Just let us know where you are if you dare.'”

Maybe your reaction to this is, “Wow that’s terrible. Poor born-again Iraqi Zoroastrians.”

Or maybe you’re heartless like me. And maybe your reaction was more like, “Seriously guy, you were kind of asking for it. After all, if you are a member of a persecuted minority in a war-torn country… why would you willingly make yourself a member of an even smaller, even more persecuted minority?”

Well, maybe because it’s fundamental human psychology.

Over the past few months, I’ve shared a lot of quotes from Eric Hoffer’s book True Believer. That’s because it’s so full of interesting ideas.

I’m gonna do it again in just a moment. But before you turn me off, I will tell you this idea has real, concrete, maybe even profitable direct marketing implications.

Ok, on to Hoffer and his quote:

“Since all mass movements draw their adherents from the same types of humanity and appeal to the same types of mind, it follows: (a) all mass movements are competitive, and the gain of one in adherents is the loss of all the others; (b) all mass movements are interchangeable. One mass movement readily transforms itself into another. A religious movement may develop into a social revolution or a nationalist movement; a social revolution, into militant nationalism or a religious movement; a nationalist movement into a social revolution or a religious movement.”

The starting point of Hoffer’s book is that people who join holy causes are fundamentally frustrated. And they look to the holy cause as a way of escaping their current, flawed selves, and being reborn in some new, cleansing identity.

For that, the actual holy cause doesn’t matter too much. Many potential ones will do.

For example, if for any reason you cannot be reborn as a freedom fighter (Kurdish minority in Iraq)… well, then there’s always some fringe religious movement that’s open to you (Zoroastrian minority in a dominantly Muslim country). And if that doesn’t work, then maybe you can become an anarchist or a communist or a pacifist.

So that’s the interesting psychology idea — or interesting to me at least. Now here’s the related direct marketing advice.

It’s based on the fact that direct response customers are also fundamentally frustrated. They share many traits with Hoffer’s true believers.

And that’s why if you run a DR business, your best prospects are either the newlyweds or the divorced. Either people who recently bought something from your competition for the first time… or people who recently walked away from your competition in disgust, and who claim they will never buy anything like that ever again.

Because those people are still frustrated. And because their holy cause — the product they are buying and identifying with — doesn’t matter all that much.

What does this mean practically?

Well, in the good old days of direct mail, you could actually buy lists of unsubscribers or new buyers.

But even today, with a bit of thought, I believe can apply this to your business.

For example, you might have your own list of fallen subscribers or customers. This might be your most valuable resource – if you sell it to your competition.

And vice versa. Your best leads might come from a joint venture with your competition. Just have them send you their disgusted ex-customers.

More broadly:

If you’re trying to position yourself in the market, you don’t have to be so unique, likeable, or even much of an expert. Just make it clear you are not that other guy — while still promising the same opportunity for blessed escape that the other guy was selling.

By the way, if you really hate Ben Settle, and his email marketing tips, you might like my daily email newsletter about marketing and copywriting. you can sign up for it here.

The Prince of Get Rich Quick

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At age 23, David B. was flat broke and was waiting tables to make ends meet. Full of shame and unsatisfied ambition, he made a commitment to himself that by age 28 he would be worth $1M.

And sure enough, by age 27 1/2, David was worth over $1M.

By age 29, he was bringing in $6M a year, living in a mansion overlooking San Diego, and driving a big white Rolls Royce.

How did he do it?

Well, that’s the topic of a 1989 Rolling Stone article about David Bendah, titled The Prince of Get Rich Quick.

I’d never heard of David B. until a few days ago. But back in the 1980s he was apparently a big deal (hence the Rolling Stone story). He started a publishing business that was bringing in tens of millions a year selling get-rich-quick books.

Bendah eventually did land in jail, but that was only when greed got the better of him, and once he moved from selling get-rich info to running a full on envelope-stuffing scheme. (After all, why bother with a product when you can just sell your own marketing?)

The Rolling Stone article on Bendah is eye-opening and has many ideas that can make you rich or save you from losing it all (like Bendah). They are as relevant today as they were in 1989.

I won’t spell out all these many idea. There would be no point. Instead, I’ll give you just one:

“In all of Bendah’s books, the crucial step toward success is getting beyond ego problems, which he interprets as understanding and accepting who you are and what talents you have.”

I think Bendah’s advice is actually spot on. It just needs to be extended a bit further.

In Bendah’s case, his talents were obviously in the promotion of opportunities. And who he was was was a die-hard opportunity seeker in his own right – or at least that’s my interpretation of how he wound up in jail, even after having created a successful, multi-million-dollar business.

Your own talents and your own instinctive drives might be different from Bendah’s. But whatever you have inside you, it’s worth facing it honestly… using it for all it’s worth… but also keeping an eye on it, if it’s something that can get you in trouble.

Anyways, I once bounced around the idea of creating AIDA School — a classroom-style place to learn direct response copywriting.

​​That’s not gonna happen. But maybe one day I will create just the curriculum for AIDA School. And if I do, the David Bendah Rolling Stone article will go in, and will be required reading.

In case you’re curious about learning more about direct response copywriting and my future AIDA school curriculum… then sign up for my email newsletter, where I will talk more about both. And in case you want to read the David Bendah article now:

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/david-bendah-the-prince-of-get-rich-quick-52915/

 

Back to the Boardroom era?

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Last autumn, I was writing a few sales emails for an SEO agency. So I spent an hour on Google, trying to find stories of people who had been penalized, by Google, for doing shady SEO stuff.

And after an hour, I had little to nothing to show for it.

Not because such stories don’t exist or because people haven’t written about them online.

But because people’s actual stories have been crowded out by billions of SEO-optimized listicles with titles like “10 Google Penalties That May Be Affecting Your Site” and “The Complete list of Google Penalties and How to Recover.” ​​And then there’s worthless Medium, which showed up at no. 2 for a Google search on “Google penalty stories”:

The most insightful stories about Google Penalty – Medium
Read stories about Google Penalty on Medium. Discover smart, unique perspectives on Google Penalty and the topics that matter most to you like SEO, …

Page after page of Google results like this gave me no actual, credible, human info. And I guess it’s not just me that it’s happening to.

A recent article in the New Yorker talked about the growing mass realization that Google search sucks. Partly because Google as a company has decided to go fully evil. Partly because we have all started to rely so much on Google… that the Internet has warped itself to appeal to Google’s tastes and preferences.

The result is page after page of horrible, inhuman fluff, broken up perfectly with H1 and H2 headings, made up of regurgitated and repurposed low-quality information or even flat-out lies.

Which is something you can either be frustrated about…

Or if you’re like me, you might decide to see it as a business opportunity.

The tech nerds on Hacker News can try to come up with a new search engine to beat Google.

But this is a newsletter about marketing. So let me tell you it smells to me like we might be headed back to the days of Boardroom.

The past 15 or so years, coinciding with rise to monopoly of Google, have also seen a rise of personality-based marketing businesses.

Coaches, gurus, and experts of various stripes have been selling information at high prices — not based on the quality or quantity of the info — but based on their own perceived authority, trustworthiness, and the relationship they have built with their audience.

That was the only way you really could charge for information online.

The days of Boardroom — charging $39 for a book of tax-saving or health or consumer tips — without a face you could trust and a guru you could feel is your friend… why pay for that?

After all, it seemed that Google made that kind of information available for free.

Except again, we’re now in an age where there’s so much information, and so much bad information, all available for free, that there might be an opportunity to simply start a business curating good information and selling it online.

So if you’re looking for a side project, new business, or a way to help millions of people navigate their lives better, consider reviving Boardroom.

Bring together valuable, trustworthy information. Charge for it. Build a list. And then do it all over again.

You probably won’t ever be able to charge thousands of dollars for a single book or five-hour video course, the way you can if you are selling based on personality.

​​But you will be able to reach a much bigger pool of people — which creates valuable opportunities of its own.

Or you can watch me do it. I’m planning to take my own advice. I will write up the results in my email newsletter. You can sign up to join it here.

Cheap, easy, and definitely worth it

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A few days ago, I sent out a George Foreman-themed email asking for testimonials. Either for my newsletter and products… or for me personally.

I got back some good responses. Just what I was hoping for. For example, copywriter David Patrick wrote me to say:

“If John is behind anything, then I’m sure it’s going to be good. In fact, he may very well be the best thing to happen to America… at least when it comes to persuasion and influence! No, really!”

Others wrote in to say that I’m not only the best thing for America, but “maybe even the world”… that I am a “vital resource”… and one person, who shall remain unnamed, wrote in all seriousness with:

“John Bejakovic and persuasion. You can’t beat that. He made me like cats. Even though I used to hate them and they used to hate me. So he’s a great person to find out about a new product that’s about persuading stubborn prospects. Or cats.”

I also got less flamboyant, perhaps more useful testimonials. I will drip those out in good time, in upcoming emails and sales pages.

For today, I just want to point out something obvious that you might already know, but that I had to learn. In fact, I didn’t learn it until only a couple years ago, when I was writing a VSL for a get-rich-in-real-estate guru.

In one of his content videos, this real estate guru talked about his “buyers list” — the list of people you can flip a house to.

But a buyers list is so much more than that, the guru said.

​​He then rattled off all the connections, employees, business opportunities, sources of funding, and personal relationships that resulted from his list, and from the personal emails he would send to them on occasion.

“Huh, interesting,” I said, a dim light slowly flickering to life in my head.

​​Time passed. I stared into space.

​​The light flickered a little brighter. “Ohh… yeah… I get it now!”

Because it’s not just a “buyers list” that can do all that. It’s the same with any email list, when it’s built right and managed right.

The fact is, my newsletter list has given me — often without me even asking — business partners… JV partners… copywriting clients… consulting clients… free products… insider tips and valuable ideas I wouldn’t know about otherwise… job offers… podcast appearances… mastermind appearances… and many, many new relationships with people, some of whom even became my friends, mostly online, but in real life as well.

Like I said, I had to have somebody point this out to me. That a list is a relationship, and that it’s good for a lot more than just a certain kind of one-way traffic.

Maybe you’re amazed I could be so dense.

But I am far from a natural when it comes to promotion or marketing or business. And yet it doesn’t matter.

You can find a spot for yourself, and be successful in time, even if you’re not a natural showman, salesman, or “scheme” man.

Lots of people have walked the road before you. Many of them are willing to point out, sometimes even for free, just where you should put your feet to take the next step to success.

Such as for example, starting and running your own email list. It’s cheap. Easy to do. And it’s definitely worth it.

If you want to see, how I do it, sign up to my list. You might learn something about copywriting and marketing and business along the way. Here’s where to get started.

Operation “Income Illusion” comes to a close

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Back to business as usual? I’ve got an industry update for you today:

Back in December of 2020, I wrote an email about operation “Income Illusion.”

That clever name was what the FTC called its sting operation against a few direct response businesses, most notably Raging Bull, a big and successful financial publisher at the time.

The thing is, when the FTC hunts down direct response businesses, they often do so in really flagrant cases of fraud.

​​But the case against Raging Bull was… worrying. Because it was more basic.

​​This is what the FTC said Raging Bull had done wrong:

“The defendants claimed in their pitches that consumers don’t need a lot of time, money, or experience, and that the global coronavirus pandemic represents a great time to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to learn their secret trading techniques, claiming in one ad that the pandemic ‘…might be the most exciting opportunity in decades!’ The defendants also made claims like ‘Learn how you could DOUBLE or TRIPLE your account in One Week!'”

In other words, the FTC took issue with Raging Bull over pretty standard direct marketing practices. Making big claims… using the most flattering testimonials… appealing to people’s greed and sloth.

Well, operation Income Illusion has concluded, at least in the case of Raging Bull. The verdict is in:

1. Raging Bull will have to pay $2.425 million to the FTC.

2. Raging Bull can’t keep making claims about potential earnings without having written evidence that those claims are typical for consumers.

3. Raging Bull can’t keep claiming that investors will be successful regardless of their experience, the amount of capital they have to invest, or the amount of time they spend trading.

Now I don’t know how much money Raging Bull was making back in 2020. But from what little I do know about financial publishing, $2.425 million is what a successful financial promo can pull in a week.

Also, I’m not a lawyer. But again, from what little I know about FTC regulations about marketing, points 2 and 3 above were already law, and are nothing new.

So to me, this entire verdict sounds like an ineffective elementary school teacher pointing to the sign on the wall and handing out detention to the bad kid in the back of the class. “How many times do I have to tell you Billy! No chewing gum! You’re driving me crazy!”

So what will be the consequences of this?

I’m terrible at predicting the future. But personally, I feel like it’s just back to business as usual, if that ever stopped.

After all, a few Agora imprints had a similar verdict made against them almost exactly a year ago. And yet, it hardly stopped them, or anybody else in the industry, from claiming that their next promo “… might be the most exciting opportunity in decades!”

So that’s all I got for you today.

Tune in tomorrow, where I’ll tell you about a little-known statistical anomaly… that’s allowing a small group of American patriots (as well as patriots of a few other nationalities)… to DOUBLE or TRIPLE the odds that their business will be a long-running success.

For your swipe file: The first Franklin Mint sales letter I’m sharing with you

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The Franklin Mint, one of the most successful and profitable direct response companies of all time, has just created its first blockbuster.

Well, not really just. It was more like in 1970. But the following point still stands:

You, as a current reader of the John Bejakovic Letter, are the first to be informed of this Franklin Mint blockbuster.

All right, again, not really the first, but the first this year, probably. Bear with me, okay, because…

Sales letters by the Franklin Mint have always been very popular with collectors. And it is interesting to note that many of these sales letters hide tremendously valuable direct response tactics and ideas.

​​The limited first runs of these sales letters, within just the first few weeks, brought in $1 million and more — even though they were short, often just a few pages each, and were not written by big-name copywriters.

Take for example the first Franklin Mint sales letter I want to share with you. ​It brought in 18,321 orders at $100 each, for a total of $1,8321,000 in sales.

​​Remarkably, it did so with just one page of copy — nine short paragraphs comprising 394 words.

​​And yet these few words featured subtle psychology. And they contain the first instance, in my experience, of a remarkable persuasion technique I would like you to see.

There will undoubtedly be a great demand for this sales letter from seasoned sales letter collectors and professional swipe file sellers.

​​But since this letter came out in 1970, it is hard to obtain, and cannot be found in any Google Docs folder or any website specializing in copywriting.

Consequently, the prestigious swipe files that contain this sales letter will be very limited in number.

Furthermore, I am only sharing this sales letter with established readers of my newsletter — and I’m only doing it for the next 24 hours, until Tuesday, Mar 8 2022, at 8:52pm CET.

Therefore, if you would like to add this sales letter to your own collection, please be sure you sign up to my newsletter within the next 24 hours. You can do so here. Once you get my welcome email, hit reply, and I will send you the Franklin Mint sales letter.