The unsexiest sales funnel Broadway has ever seen

On November 29, 2018, I sent an email to this marketing list with the subject line, “The worst aromatherapy book Broadway has ever seen.”

The topic of that email was the launch of my new aromatherapy book, Essential Oil Quick Start Guide.

At that time, my marketing list had exactly 2 readers — me and some other dude who had somehow found me.

On the other hand, my aromatherapy list had a staggering 814 readers. But over the next 6 weeks, my aromatherapy would grow still more, to well over 2,000 readers. These were quality new readers, and getting them cost me nothing net.

How?

Well, I’ll tell ya. But I don’t think you will be happy. It’s nothing new, and nothing magical. Here’s what I did:

1. I “wrote” a second little ebook, titled “Little Black Book of Essential Oil Scams.” The title was a flat-out swipe of Gary Bencivenga’s Little Black Book of Secrets.

I put “wrote” in quotes because there was almost no writing involved. I basically repurposed a dozen “what never to” emails I had already written to my aromatherapy list — warnings about unsafe use, shady sellers, dangerous oils, etc.

​​I put those emails into a Pages document, exported as PDF, and tacked on a black-and-red cover I’d made in Canva.

2. I ran a FB ad campaign giving this EO scams ebook away if people signed up to my list. I know nothing about running FB ads, and I’m sure this ad campaign was far from optimal.

3. I sent daily emails to my aromatherapy list with a pitch to buy the $10 Quick Start ebook. Enough new people, who had signed up via the Little Black Book ad, bought the Quick Start book to offset all the costs I had from the FB ads.

And that’s it. That’s how I grew my list from 800 readers to over 2,000 qualified readers in about 45 days.

I know, about as sexy as a potato. But what to say?

If you want to grow your list quickly and even without cost, then consider doing the same. Run ads to some kind of attractive and relevant giveaway in exchange for people opting in to your list, and write daily emails that sell something to offset the ad cost.

At this point, it would make sense to try to sell you my Simple Money Emails course, which is all about writing simple daily emails that make sales. In that course, I even include some examples emails from the aromatherapy list I had years ago.

But with all the promotion of SME over the past few weeks, I believe everyone who was going to get this course during this lunar cycle now already owns it. So let me just remind you to go apply what I show you inside that course.

Meanwhile, I no longer write anything in the aromatherapy space and I no longer sell any offers there.

But I am proud of my little Quick Start Essential Oil Guide, and I still stand by it.

​​I put a lot of work into researching and writing it, and if you are interested in essential oils, I believe it’s the perfect introduction.

​​If by chance you want it, PayPal me $10 to john@bejakovic.com, and I’ll send you the PDF.

Mysteries of the mind

Yesterday I started listening to a four-and-a-half hour long presentation titled, Best Life Ever. I did it because the guy speaking, Jim Rohn, has been billed, by no less an authority than genius marketer and influence expert Dan Kennedy, as being a master storyteller.

Dan says that Jim Rohn built his long and very successful career on zero practical content, great stories only.

So that’s what I expected to find. Fantastic fluff. Zero real substance.

And yet I was surprised. In the first twenty minutes, I already found the content genuinely insightful. I felt that Dan was underselling it. Take for example the following. With a smile, Rohn says:

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The day the Christian Church was started, a magnificent sermon was preached. A great presentation. And if you’re a student at all of good communication, it was one of the classic presentations of all time.

And this sermon, this presentation, was given to a multitude. Meaning a lot of people. But it was interesting.

The record says, when the sermon was finished, there was a variety of reaction to the same sermon. Isn’t that fascinating? I find that fascinating.

It said some that heard this presentation were perplexed.

Now I read the presentation. It sounded pretty straightforward to me. Why would somebody be perplexed with a good, sincere, straightforward presentation?

Best answer I’ve got: They are the perplexed. What other explanation is there? It doesn’t matter who’s preaching.

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Rohn’s point is that there are some mysteries of the mind.

Why are some people inspired to take action? Why do others never take action? Why are some people perplexed? Why do others mock and laugh?

You can try to figure it out. So did Rohn, once upon a time.

“I don’t do that any more,” he says in his talk. “I’ve got peace of mind now. I can sleep like a baby. Not trying to straighten any of this out any more.” It’s just mysteries of the mind.

Did you find that insightful?

I did. But maybe I’m just very easy to dupe into feeling like I’ve had an epiphany. Doesn’t matter who’s preaching.

Or who knows. Maybe Rohn is such a good storytellers that even in those first 20 minutes, he managed to prime me for being easily influenced.

In case you’re a student at all of good communication, this guy was one of the classic presenters of all time. To see why, watch a few minutes of the following:

 

Guy rebuffs my attempt at cross-promotion

A report from the trenches:

I’m working on growing my health email newsletter, which I launched a few months ago.

One part of what I’m doing is reaching out to other newsletters to offer to cross-promote. I’ve been contacting newsletters of a similar size to mine, who share some common elements with mine:

– sent out weekly
– news-related
– “proven” — make an emphasis on providing references or sources
– is made up of actual paragraphs of text that people read, rather than just a collection of links

I’ve had a few people take me up on my cross-promotion offer. But one guy, whose weekly newsletter is for people who want to “stay on top of the current issues and that like to read more than just bulletpoints,” was not interested in my offer. He wrote me to say:

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I don’t think this partnership would work out, basically because I’ve done it before and the clicks were very, very low. Also, I don’t think there’s a great overlap in the content of our two newsletters.

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As Dan Kennedy might say about that first reason, if we all stopped doing something if the first time was a fail, the human race would soon die out. There’d be no more babies born.

But what about that other reason? About content overlap?

It’s very sensible to only sell competitive duck herding products to competitive duck herding enthusiasts.

But most offers are not that one-dimensional.

The “world’s greatest list broker,” Michael Fishman, was once tasked with finding new lists to promote an investment newsletter.

Michael suggested a list of buyers of a product called Big Money Pro Golf Secrets. The publisher of the investment newsletter said, “We’ve tried golf lists before, they don’t work for us.”

Michael said, “No problem. It’s not a golf list. Think about who would buy a book called Big Money Pro Golf Secrets. I don’t care if it’s Big Money Pro Flower Secrets. Anybody who would respond to that language is somebody whose door we want to knock on.”

Point being, if you have something that’s not as narrow in appeal as duck herding, there are many dimensions along which you can expand your market, beyond the obvious topic or content or promise of what you’re selling. ​

​ By the way, Michael Fishman is somebody worth listening to. I’ve read and watched and listened to everything I could find online by the guy. I make a habit of occasionally searching the Internet to see if anything new has cropped up.

If you want a place to start, here’s a great interview that Michael Fishman did with Michael Senoff of Hard to Find Seminars:

https://www.hardtofindseminars.com/Michael_Fishman_Interview.htm

If you consider yourself a paid traffic expert

If you consider yourself to be something of a paid traffic expert, or you want to be seen as such, I’ve got a lead gen/business idea for you.

​​I’m giving away this idea. You’re free to use it. In fact, I hope you do.

Here goes:

1. Start a newsletter. Call it “Classified Growth” or something sexy like that.

2. Go around, finding other newsletters that sell classified ads. There are hundreds or thousands of such newsletters, but they are not organized, and they often do not make it known they sell ads. You might have to email them and ask or suggest it.

By the way, I’m not talking about big featured ads like you can find inside Morning Brew, which have a big photo and hundreds of words of copy, and which are really intended for rich brand advertisers. Databases of newsletters offering those kinds of ads already exist.

​​I’m talking about small, classified-like ads, 100 words max, no picture, which can be integrated into the content of a newsletter, which are likely to cost a few hundred to maybe a thousand or so dollars, and which are perfect for advertising to get dedicated newsletter readers. As far as I know, there’s no source to tell you where to find those.

3. Each week, send out a new issue of your newsletter. Publish the latest classified ad opportunities you’ve found, and link to a page where you keep a running list of all the previous classified ad opportunities you’ve found.

4. Add in a little intro paragraph to each issue with your own voice so people know who you are. Casually mention any status-building things that happened to you or to your newsletter over the past week.

5. To grow your newsletter, do a good job implementing 1-4 above for four weeks, then email me and I will promote your newsletter to my list for free. I’ll also give you the contacts of 10 other people with sizable email lists who are likely to promote your new newsletter for free.

6. After you start getting people onto your newsletter, to monetize, sell your own consulting services or products or community, or sell ads, or sell affiliate offers.

The cons of this:

You’re likely to attract people who are at the early stage of newsletter growth. This means they are unproven and uncommitted — they might fail or quit.

​​And if they do succeed, they are likely to outgrow your newsletter and focus on other newsletter growth strategies that are easier to scale. That’s why I say this makes sense if you want to offer services or products around paid traffic and can use this as a lead-gen method.

The pros:

There is clearly demand. I would subscribe and read this newsletter each week, and others would too.

​​There are literally thousands of people with newsletters hoping to grow, and hundreds more joining every day. And since we’re talking about paid traffic, you’re likely to attract a serious segment of that audience, who might even have some money to spend.

So that’s my business idea for you. Again, I hope you run with it, because I would love to see it happen.

I’m currently working on growing two newsletters — the one you’re reading, and a second one that’s still in a bit of stealth mode, about a health topic.

In the past, to grow various newsletters I’ve had or have, I’ve run Facebook ads, solo ads, Twitter ads, paid “recommendations” like they have on Substack, banner ads, and classified ads in other newsletters.

The classified ads in other newsletters win in terms of quality of traffic.

The problem is, classified ads take time and are not scalable, but a resource like the one I describe above could help.

​​At the same time, it could help you build your own list, quickly, with highly qualified and valuable leads, that you could then monetize into submission.

Speaking of which, if you do launch the above newsletter, you’re likely to have more success selling your services or products if you drive your readers to a second, daily email newsletter like the one I write each day.

If you’d like to see how I do that each day, so you can model what I’m doing to make money, you can sign up to my newsletter here.​

How to reduce your business’s cost-per-lead by 80%

Assuming that you’re running ads to get leads…

And assuming that you’re running ads, say on FB or Twitter, via your business’s page or account…

Then let me share something obvious, but maybe very lucrative.

​​It comes from Dan Krenitsyn, who did growth at places like BuzzFeed, The Information, and The Telegraph, and who now leads strategy at the product, content, and operations team at Meta/Facebook. ​​Dan says:

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This might not be relevant for everybody because I worked at more traditional media companies like The Information and Telegraph.

But we tapped into the idea that people follow people. They don’t follow media companies per se.

We started running pretty much all of our acquisition ads from writers’ personal Twitter accounts and Facebook accounts.

I don’t know if the platforms still allow you to do that. For a while, that basically reduced our CPLs by something like 80%.

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I don’t know either if the platforms still allow you to run ads like this. But the basic point stands:

It’s much easier and cheaper to get quality engagement if you sell yourself first, rather than if you sell a brand or a product first.

That’s not to say selling a brand or a product is not the right thing to do in certain situations.

​​But if you’re looking for organic growth, for cheaper paid growth, for easier sales, for an audience that will keep listening to you, even if you occasionally get lazy or falter in your message, then sell yourself first.

You might say it’s ironic I’m telling you to put yourself first in an email in which I say almost nothing about myself, share zero personal stories, and point to no status-building items from my own history.

Fair point. My only answer to that is what I already said above.

​​If you regularly put yourself first in your marketing — John Bejakovic daily newsletter, issue #1586 — then you can occasionally fail and it won’t matter. You can fail to tell people how great you are, and how important your message is, and that people should stay tuned because it’s only gonna to get better. And your audience will still read, listen, click, and maybe even sign up to your daily email newsletter.

Why good customers hate going to museums

I was reading an article a few days ago about the oldest living aristocratic widow. Just my kind of material:

Lady Anne Glenconner is 90 years old. She served as maid of honor at the coronation of Queen Elizabeth, and was lady-in-waiting to Princess Margaret, Queen Elizabeth’s sister. She was also wife of Colin Tennant, 3rd Baron Glenconner, who seems to have been a rich, eccentric, and volatile man.

This insight from Lady Anne about her husband caught my eye — it might be interesting if you are ever trying to sell yerself, or something you created:

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“He couldn’t bear to be static,” Glenconner told me. “He always wanted to be rushing around changing things, buying things. We had thirty Lucian Freuds at one point, and he sold them all. I once said to him, in a rather pathetic way, ‘You don’t seem to mind making these collections and then selling them. I like the things I have collected.’ And he said, ‘Oh, no! Once I’ve had them, and the opportunity to look at them, I want to be on to something else.’ “Tennant “hated going to museums,” Glenconner added. “Do you know why? Nothing’s for sale.”

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I think the point is clear, so I won’t insult you by spelling it out all over the place. Instead, let me tell you something personal:

I have nothing for sale today. It’s worse than a museum around here.

I’m changing, revamping, restructuring, and repositioning what I do with this newsletter.

Notice I don’t say, “with this business.” As I’ve said many times, and will continue to say, I’ve never looked at this newsletter as a business first, even though it’s gotten to a place of making me a neat and tidy source of income.

Today, I closed off my Copy Riddles program. I made more money with it over the past 24 hours than in any 24-hour span since I launched it. That’s because it’s never coming back as a standalone course.

So nothing for sale today. But I do have an offer. And it’s to get onto my email newsletter. Yes, it’s a little like a museum on there right now. But I will have new things for sale again one day soon, and my email newsletter will be the only place where you can get that. If you’d like to be in the right place at the right time, sign up now for my newsletter.

Looks like I’ve won a $1,000 copywriting gig!

About two months ago, I found out about an exciting copywriting gig:

An online publication was looking for content writers. The pay was $250 per article of about 750 words. Articles could come in a thematic series of 4.

I came up with an idea for a 4-part series, wrote up a nice little proposal, and sent it off to the editor of the publication.

And then, as nothing seemed to be happening, I forgot all about it.

Fast forward to two weeks ago:

The editor wrote back to me to say my idea sounds wonderful. And if I can get her the first drafts by December 16, my articles could be published as soon as January. And once my articles are published, inshallah, I will get paid $1k!

There once was a time, not even so many years ago, when I would have gladly taken on this kind of work without any ulterior motive.

But today, it takes a little something extra to get me excited.

So here’s the something extra:

This online publication is The Professional Writers’ Alliance. From what I understand, PWA is a paid community of freelance copywriters, somewhere under the umbrella of AWAI.

Are you getting a glimpse of my devious scheme?

I write some interesting and valuable content for PWA, and include a byline and a link to my site…

Some freelance copywriter out there reads my content and decides to get on my email list to read more…

I send him a few more well meaning emails and then—

BAM! I sell him one of my offers that might be interesting to freelance copywriters.

All right, writing guest content as a means of self-promotion is probably not new to you. What might be new to you is the following suggestion:

Look for ways to get paid for your self-promotion.

Of course, it’s not always possible, but it is more possible than you might at first think.

For example, did you know it’s possible to get paid to send out your sales letters to your audience, either online or by mail?

In other words, rather than having to pay either the USPS to deliver your stuffed-and-enveloped sales letter… or having to pay Facebook to get eyeballs that will look at your sales page… you can actually get paid each time a high-quality prospect reads your sales pitch?

It’s true, and it’s actually what I will be writing about for the PWA in January.

If you’ve been reading my emails for a while, you probably know this get-paid-to-advertise trick. And if not, I might write more about it in the coming weeks.

To get on my email list so you can read that (beware, I might try to sell you something), click here and fill out the form that appears.

Free info on free reports

Copy Riddles member Andrew Townley takes advantage of the Copy Oracle privilege to ask:

I was listening to a Dan Kennedy program today that got me thinking about all those direct mail “free reports.” I was wondering if you had a source of any guidance on how to build one. I remember Parris describing the process somewhere on a podcast or something, but I can’t find it now.

The background, as you might know, is this:

A-list copywriters like Dan Kennedy and Parris Lampropoulos are experts at selling newsletters. Newsletters are a direct marketing staple because they are great for the publisher. Money comes in like clockwork, on your own schedule, without any added selling of your vague and broad and cheap-to-produce subscription offer.

For those same reasons, newsletters are a suspect deal for the subscriber. Many potential subscribers instinctively feel repulsed at the thought of paying good money, every month, for a “cat in the bag” piece of content, whether they are eager to consume it or not.

Enter free reports. Free reports are one effective strategy that guys like Dan and Parris use to overcome the resistance of skeptical newsletter buyers. The recipe is simple:

1. Go through your past content (newsletter or really anything else)

2. Find the sexiest stuff. It can either be a single bit of info, or a small number of related items you bundle together.

​3. Put that sexy stuff in its own little package.

​4. Give that package a sexy and mysterious new name.

​5. Repeat as many times as your stamina will allow. I believe one Boardroom promo offered 99 free reports along with a newsletter subscription.

When you think about it, this is really just the same work that a copywriter would do normally. Look at what he has to sell… figure out the sexiest parts of that… highlight it in the sales material, and of course, make it sound as sexy and as mysterious as possible.

And now for the pitch that probably won’t convince you:

I write a daily email newsletter about copywriting, marketing, and persuasion.

But like I said, that probably won’t convince you to sign up.

So let me take my own advice, and offer you a free report when you sign up:

“Become a Repositioning Specialist”

This report shows you how to start a profitable repositioning business, with your own home as headquarters. In case, you want this report, follow these steps:

  1. Click here and sign up to my free daily email newsletter
  2. When you get my welcome email, hit reply and tell me you want the free report

The sales secret of Man on Wire

Last night, in a desperate hunt for a movie to watch, I turned to the Rotten Tomatoes 100% Club. That’s a list of some 370 movies that have had uniformly positive reviews — a perfect 100% Rotten Tomatoes score.

This led me to Man On Wire, a 2008 documentary about a man named Philippe Petit. In case you haven’t seen this movie, the gist is:

Petit was a tightrope walker. And obsessive.

Back in 1968, when he was just 18 years old, Petit hit upon the idea of walking on a wire between the two towers of the World Trade Center.

Problem:

The towers hadn’t been built yet. So Petit spent the next six years scheming, practicing, and waiting in preparation for his audacious August 7, 1974 walk between The South and North Towers, which lasted 45 minutes.

But here’s a question that maybe immediately pops into your head, as it did into mine when I heard about this stunt:

How exactly do you stretch a wire across the two towers? The wire weighed 200 kilograms, or about 450 lbs. Petit was doing his setup clandestinely, in the middle of the night, while hiding from security guards, so helicopters and cranes were out of the question.

So what the hell do you do?
​​
​​You can’t just hoist the wire up from the ground — it’s a 400 meter drop (over 1,300 feet). You can’t just toss the heavy wire across the 40 meters (130 feet) that separate the corners of the two towers.

A hint comes early in the movie.

You see a silhouette of a man packing things into a bag. It’s supposed to represent Petit.

Along with other unrecognizable equipment, the silhouette gives away something familiar — an arrow.

The fact is, one of Petit’s henchmen shot an arrow with a bow from one tower to the another. And that arrow had a fishing line attached to the end of it.

They used that first fishing line to pull across a slightly sturdier string.

Then they used that string to pull across a strong rope.

And finally, they used the rope to pull across the actual wire, which like I said, weighed as much as an adult melon-headed whale.

Maybe see where I’m going with this.

Because when I saw this in the movie, a lightbulb went off in my head.

“I know this technique!” I shouted in the darkness.

But not from tightrope walking. I know this technique from sales. I first read about it in one of Gary Bencivenga’s Marketing Bullets. Gary called it one of the “the most powerful master strategies I ever learned.”

You can find the explanation of this sales technique below. But not just that.

You can also find lots of inspiring personal stuff about Gary at the page below. Such as for example, that for a long time, Gary was such a bad copywriter that he considered giving up and becoming a mailman. He even went to the post office to pick up a job application.

The only reason Gary stuck with copywriting, the only reason he persevered and eventually became so successful, the only reason we know of him today, was that he was told at the post office that they are not hiring at the moment, and when they do start hiring again, thousands of prior applicants will be ahead of Gary in line.

So Gary stuck with copywriting and marketing.
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And one of the biggest things that Gary learned in the years that followed, and used in all his copy and marketing, from his sales letters to his olive oil business, was this “Man On Wire” sales technique. In case you are interested:

http://marketingbullets.com/bullet-15/

My Andre Chaperon-like, Sphere of Influence-inspired optin page

Here’s a little riddle for you:

How do three men, one of whom has been mostl—

But hold. This is neither the time nor the place for that.

In case you read my email yesterday, you know I promised that today, I’d reuse something I’d written in my email yesterday.

And in fact, I’ve done just that. But it’s not that tiny bit at the top. And it’s not in this email you’re reading.

Instead, you can find what I promised at the link below. That’s where you can read the scene from the Princess Bride I wrote about yesterday, and see how I made it fit to a completely new purpose.

The purpose, in this case, is to illustrate and set up a valuable lesson from my Copy Riddles program, which I’ll open up again for a few days later this month.

For this round of Copy Riddles, I decided to put a bit of thought into getting the word out.

So I wrote up an Andre Chaperon-like, Sphere of Influence-inspired optin page on the Copy Riddles site.

That means that rather than promising people interesting or entertaining information if they opt in to my list… I put that interesting and entertaining stuff right there on the page. And if somebody really is interested and entertained once they are done reading, they can opt in for more.

So here’s the deal for today:

If you’d like to find out (or be reminded of, in case you’ve already gone through Copy Riddles) a valuable little copywriting secret I discovered hidden inside a bullet by A-list copywriter David Deutsch…

Or if you’d like to see what exactly an Andre Chaperon-like, Sphere of Influence-inspired optin page looks like…

Or if you just want to get closure on my Princess Bride email from yesterday…

Then take a look at the link below:

https://copyriddles.com/

Oh and if you do take a look, I’d appreciate your feedback on this page.

Because starting tomorrow, I’ll be promoting this page (I’ll explain how tomorrow). But that means i still have a bit of time to make changes, to add, and to remove.

So whatever your impression of this page, and whatever your feedback… I’ll be grateful if you write me an email and let me know. Thanks in advance.