Copywriting

Fighting over Wimpy copywriting clients

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Here’s a bit of 1957 cartoon wisdom for beginner freelance copywriters:

It comes from a Popeye cartoon, in which Popeye has just opened up a shiny new diner.

But then, his archenemy Bluto pulls up with a fancy food truck right across the street.

“You gotta move that thing,” says Popeye.

“A little competition never hurt nobody,” barks Bluto.

They’re about to come to fisticuffs when a potential new customer strolls down the street.

It’s J. Wellington Wimpy, the penniless moocher who pretends to be high class.

Wimpy sits down at Bluto’s food truck. “I’ll have a hamburger, for which I will gladly pay you Tuesday,” says Wimpy in his aristocratic tone.

“One hamburger coming up!” says Bluto.

But then Popeye gets in there, and steals Wimpy away. “I’ll have a generous portion of baked beans, for which I will gladly pay you Tuesday,” says Wimpy again, except this time to Popeye.

“Baked beans, coming right up!” says Popeye.

The rest of the cartoon goes on like this, with Bluto and Popeye constantly sabotaging and one-upping each other.

They eventually get into a fight, throwing barrels, stovetops, pork legs, and cakes at each other.

Meanwhile Wimpy the moocher sits by and eats their food, never paying and never intending to pay.

Maybe you see why I bring this up.

It’s pretty similar to the situation a lot of beginner freelancers find themselves in.

They roll out the red carpet for Wimpy clients, who “will gladly pay Tuesday” but want the work done today.

They find themselves in under-bidding food fights with other freelancers who desperately want to attract the same fake-aristocrat moochers.

And when it all comes to nothing — and how could it not, with a Wimpy client — they have no alternative but to blame the competition.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

As I mentioned over the past coupla days, I’m putting together a group where I help newbie freelance copywriters to get successful.

If you’re interested in participating, all you gotta do is let me know.

You can send me an email, or throw a leg of pork my way.

Either way, I’ll follow up with you to see how your copy diner is cooking, and how I could help you run it better.

Unfair Upwork advantage

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In a couple of weeks, I’ll be getting off Upwork entirely.

Which is kind of a shame, because I’ve built up a lot of insight into how that platform works and how to win high-paying copywriting jobs there.

At the same time, I know that some of the people who read my blog are aspiring copywriters and would-be freelancers.

And so last night, I had an idea.

I imagined putting together a kind of group where I share what I’ve learned about succeeding on Upwork, and where I provide ongoing guidance to anyone who’s interested in doing the same. If you’re just starting out on Upwork, I feel like this would be an “unfair advantage” over everybody else on there.

Bad for them. Good for you.

But here’s the thing:

I haven’t decided yet whether I will actually create this group — or what form it will take.

If you’re not interested in any of this, no need to do anything.

But in case you are interested, simply write me an email and let me know.

If there is enough interest, I’ll follow up with you directly to see where you’re at and how I could structure this group to best help you.

2 advertorial lessons from Joe Sugarman’s BluBlockers

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Right now, I’m looking at a pair of ugly, orange, bug-like sunglasses that are lying on my desk.

I’ve only worn them a few times in my life.

Each time, people made fun of me for how stupid I looked.

The glasses in question are called BluBlockers, and they are the brainchild of one Joe Sugarman.

Joe is a big-time direct marketer. He initially made lots of money in the 1970s selling electronic gadgets such as digital watches, pocket calculators, and programmable thermostats.

But none of it compared to BluBlockers, which became a $300 million bug-eyed behemoth.

And it all started with a single ad that Joe wrote, which ran under the headline “Vision Breakthrough.”

This ad offers (at least) two big lessons if you are writing advertorials today.

The first is curiosity.

Joe keeps going on about how incredible it is to look at the world through the BluBlockers.

Everything seems sharper.

Clearer.

More vibrant.

Of course, he can describe it all he wants. You’ll never know what it’s like to actually wear these hideous things until you put them on.

And that, according to Joe himself, was one of the main reasons why people bought the BluBlockers initially.

This curiosity approach is something I’ve tried in several recent advertorials for physical products. One was for a way for women to create boob cleavage even if they are flat-chested. The other was for an all-natural, all-effective way to wash clothes without detergent (“I don’t know how it gets clothes this clean, but it works”).

The other lesson I drew from Joe’s “Vision Breakthrough” ad is both more practical and more broadly applicable than simple curiosity.

I won’t spell out what it is here.

But I will include it in an upcoming report on advertorials I am preparing.

For now, you might be interested in another kind of secret.

Such as how to write simple 3-sentence applications that win you $150/hr jobs on Upwork.

You can find the answer to that in my Upwork book, which is still available on Amazon.

But come tomorrow, it will go underground, only to reappear later, in much the same form, but off Amazon, and at a much higher price.

In case you want to grab this book while it’s still cheap and available, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

Contradicting the great Parris Lampropoulos

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A while back, I wrote about a critique I’d gotten from Parris Lampropoulos.

Parris is an ultra-successful copywriter, who gave me some advice about a sales letter I’d written.

“The body copy is fine,” he said.

“But you never want the headline to tip off that you’re selling something.”

The only exception, according to Parris, is if you’re the first person in a market.

I took Parris’s advice to heart. And I believe it’s made my copy better.

BUT!

I’ve just had a bit of contradictory feedback from one of my clients.

These guys sell physical products through ads on Facebook, which lead to advertorials.

I’ve been writing both the ads and the advertorials. The headlines I’ve been using strictly avoid mentioning the product.

So I was surprised to hear that the client tested out some new headlines, which mention both the product and the price.

Doing this decreased clickthroughs (expected) but increased sales (very unexpected).

This kind of boggles my weary mind. Especially, since the products we’re advertising aren’t unique (dozens of competitors sell identical stuff) and the price isn’t a bargain (you’d be able to find much better deals on similar products by searching on Amazon).

Maybe this testing data point will be useful in case you too sell ecommerce products through advertorials.

And it also shows that even the most iron-clad commandments of copywriting are only rules of thumb.

Yes, they increase your odds of success. But sometimes, breaking these commandments can produce better results. The only way to know is to test.

On an entirely different topic:

I currently have a book on Amazon about how I got $150/hr copywriting clients through Upwork.

I will be taking this book off Amazon this weekend. I will make it available some time later, but off Amazon, and at a higher price.

So if you want to read this book, at its current low price, while it’s still on Amazon, better act fast. Here’s the link to see what it’s all about:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book

How to slowly become an A-list copywriter

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Gary Bencivenga, who is often called the greatest living copywriter, didn’t start out so great.

In various places, he’s admitted that he was quite mediocre for a good number of years.

So how did Gary rise to the very top, and make himself millions of dollars in royalties and fees in the process?

Well, he got better.

Much better.

Very slowly.

In fact, one inspiring piece of advice from Gary B. is to simply make yourself 1% better as a copywriter every single week.

How to do this? Here are a few ideas, all of which I personally practice:

First, read. About marketing, copywriting, or persuasion. (Right now, I’m reading E. Haldeman-Julius’s The First 100 Million.)

Second, write. For clients, and for yourself.

Third, spy. Each day, read one successful sales letter for a few minutes. Spend another few minutes hand-copying some other ad.

Do all this every day,  and you can reasonably say you’re getting a 1% boost in your copywriting skills every week.

And here’s the thing:

1% a week compounds.

So at the end of the year, you aren’t just 52% better… you’re 68% better. At the end of 2 years, you’re 181% better. And at the end of 5 years, you become so valuable that the sun itself starts to melt and implode when it catches a glimpse of your skills.

Or not. But if you get 1% better each week, and you keep it up, you will eventually become one of the very best in this field.

But you do have to get started.

Because this compounding thing works best when you give it time. And every week you miss will cost you big a few years down the line.

And here’s one last tip:

If you’re fairly new to copywriting, it’s possible to get better much faster than 1% a week. I’d estimate about 1,000% in 60 days’ time.

Specifically, I’m thinking of CopyHour, a program which combines all 3 of the steps I’ve listed above.

In case this is something that interests you, better act fast. And not only because of compounding. Enrollment for CopyHour is currently open, but it will be closing at the end of this weekend. Here’s the link for more info:

​http://copyhour.com/​

Hidden razor blades as a powerful marketing angle

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Here’s the scary lead from an influential New York Times story, titled “Those Treats May Be Tricks,” which ran Oct. 28, 1970:

Those Halloween goodies that children collect this weekend on their rounds of ‘trick‐or‐treating’ may bring them more horror than happiness.

Take, for example, that plump red apple that Junior gets from a kindly old woman down the block. It may have a razor blade hidden inside. The chocolate “candy” bar may be a laxative, the bubble gum may be sprinkled with lye, the pop corn balls may be coated with camphor, the candy may turn out to be packets containing sleeping pills.

According to social scientists who study this sort of thing, this story played a big part in creating the “poisoned candy” myth that eventually swept the country.

Then and now, no kids were ever actually injured from tampered Halloween candy given by strangers.

Yes, there were some cases of candy tampering. But those were all by adults looking to get financial compensation, or by kids looking for attention. Everything else was purely made up.

Even so…

What parent today would let their kid accept an apple from a stranger — without wondering if there’s a razor blade inside?

One big reason for this are people like journalists and politicians.

I’ve heard them described as “availability entrepreneurs.” They make it a business to have scary images (like hidden razor blades) available to the public mind.

Maybe you think that’s terrible and fake newsish.

In that case, you’re a better person than me.

Because when I hear “availability entrepreneur,” I think “marketing angle.”

If somebody like the NY Times is going to all the trouble of stirring up paranoia in the public, I figure I might as well ride on their coattails a bit.

Think climate change… The immigration crisis… Gluten intolerance… School shootings… Zika 2019 (or whatever this year’s epidemic is)… The evils of Facebook.

With a bit of thought, and by picking a side for or against these highly available ideas, you should be able to get a lot of powerful, free marketing support.

And if you want, you can even use it to sell a solid, helpful product, which makes the world a better place.

If that’s what you’re doing, and you want some specific examples of how to make your marketing better by tying into the latest available trend, then check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The “1-2 punch in the gut” and other proven sales letter ideas

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Here’s a bit of a copywriting history lesson:

The great Gary Halbert was famous for a lot of things, including his “grabber” letters.

That’s when he would include a physical tchotchke — a dollar bill, a coin, a little bag of sand — at the top of his sales letter.

It seems old Gary got this idea from a much older master of direct marketing named Robert Collier.

I’ve mentioned Robert Collier before for his insight that “it is not the copy that counts so much as the scheme back of it.” In other words, the idea behind the letter is more important than the words you use.

The “grabber” is one example of that. Here are a few more, taken from the Robert Collier Letter Book, a classic on effective direct response and sales copywriting:

#1. The one-two punch in the gut

This is when you simply hit readers with benefits. For example, when selling shirts through the mail, Collier would emphasize that his shirts were 1) cheaper and 2) fit better and were of higher quality, because he could cut out the middleman and stock more designs and sizes.

#2. A common infomercial appeal, made more convincing

Every infomercial ever barks at you to buy “while supplies last.” Collier used this same scarcity appeal, except he would make it more convincing — by giving a legitimate reason why he had only limited stock. Example: “We’ve only got 1000 of these books because that’s all the estate of the author would allow us to print.”

#3. “The most effective appeal ever”

According to Collier, the most effective sales appeal was telling buyers that the price is going up. This could also be tied into “while supplies last.” And of course, it’s all the more effective if you can give people legitimate reasons for why the price is going up, rather than simply claiming it.

#4. The fire sale

​With various offers and various letters, Collier would explain a super-duper discount by saying he was selling slightly damaged goods, or leftover inventory that didn’t justify a full marketing effort. In other words, he’d give people a legitimate reason WHY a sale is happening, rather than just discounting the price.

#5. The Ben Franklin

Simple: ask buyers for a favor. “Would you mind looking at this new bag we’re considering selling? And could you let me know what you think before the season starts so we know whether to sell it or not? And if you like it, I’ll let you keep it for a special, low, introductory price.”

#6. The grabber

That’s the idea Gary Halbert swiped from Collier. Collier himself attached dollar bills, but he also included samples of cloth (when selling socks or coats) or even samples of the product itself (when selling fake pearls).

#7. The Kaiser Wilhelm lead

This is a simple current affairs tie-in. Collier used these extensively to sell books. For example, talking about the fate of Kaiser Wilhelm at the the end of WWI in order to sell world history books. Today, the equivalent might be to use the latest Trump outrage to sell earnest textbooks about psychology.

So that’s 7 Robert Collier “schemes back of the copy.” Of course, Collier had a bunch more of these.

In case you want to find them all, his book is definitely worth a read-through.

The only issue is that many of the copies of his book (including Kindle versions) are shoddy OCR scans with terrible spelling mistakes and horrendous formatting. They almost make it impossible to read the great content inside.

Occasionally, quality used copies become available, and they can sell for $100 or more.

But I just checked on Amazon, and 4 used copies of the paperback version of the Robert Collier Letter Book are available right now for around $20 each.

They probably won’t last long at this price… so better act while supplies last. If you want to grab one for yourself, here’s the link:

https://amzn.to/2JrYzs6

John Bejakovic

How to flip the trickiest question that copywriting clients ask

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“I have a little rule about killing people. Well, actually I have two rules. One, I do not date musicians, And two, I do not kill people, ok?”
Playboy Playmate Jordan Tate, Under Siege (1992)

I’m currently talking to a very successful direct response copywriter. I’m considering hiring him as a coach to help me get to that top level myself.

He had me answer some questions in preparation for an intro call, including:

“Why should I work with you? What sets you apart from other copywriters?”

How the turn tables. Because this tricky question is something that copywriting clients used to ask me as well.

In my less experienced days, I would have tried my darndest to answer in a persuasive way.

“I’m smart…”

“I work hard…”

“I’m good at writing copy…”

That’s what I would have said once upon a time. But not any more.

Now I don’t say much at all.

​​It’s not any kind of a tactic. I’ve just come to realize that I really don’t know why (or even if) I would be a good fit for somebody I hardly know.

But shouldn’t I try to answer anyhow?​​

My experience is that by trying to answer, I just end up sharing a lot of pointless information that the other person doesn’t care about — but that puts doubts and objections into their mind.

It’s kind of like the Playboy Playmate in the Steven Seagal classic Under Siege. She says she won’t date musicians, while Steven is off fighting a bunch of Uzi-wielding terrorists. Nobody cares, muffin.

Speaking of Steven Seagal, though…

He offers a good model of how to actually respond to this tricky type of screening question.

Simply use the other person’s energy and aikido-flip it.

So for example, when the copywriting coach above asked me why he should work with me, I told him:

“I honestly don’t know. I’d say I’m dedicated and coachable, but that’s probably everyone you talk to. That’s why I’d like to first find out who does well with your coaching? And who doesn’t? And who do you like to work with?”

This same kind of principled approach can help you with prospective copywriting clients as well.

Anyways, enough Under Siege for today.

If you are a copywriter, then you might want to know that the CopyHour enrollment window is currently open. This is your opportunity to learn Steven Seagal-like skills, just wielding persuasion instead of a knife. Check it out:

http://copyhour.com/

The story behind my first successful sales letter

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A couple of years after I started copywriting, I got the chance to write my first full-blown video sales letter.

This was for a product called The Kidney Disease Solution.

At that time, The Kidney Disease Solution had already been available on Clickbank for around 10 years, and it was a top-50 Clickbank product. My job was to rewrite the front-end VSL to make it less hypey — and yet to increase sales.

An impossible order?

Not at all. In fact, it was fairly straightforward. The VSL I wrote increased sales by 30% while removing all the typical “Clickbanky” hype. It only took two ingredients:

1) An emphasis on proof

2) A solid, proven structure for the sales letter itself

The first ingredient wasn’t hard to come by. Duncan Capicchiano, the guy behind The Kidney Disease Solution, had hundreds of almost-miraculous success stories from people who had followed his program. Plus, he had a legit background as a practicing naturopath, and he had done everything he could to make the program itself useful and complete.

But what about the structure?

I was still fairly green as a copywriter, so I reached for the most successful VSL I knew of:

Mike Geary’s Truth About Abs, written by Jon Benson.

I knew this VSL well because I had copied it out by hand several months earlier. I did this while following along on the sidelines with a course called CopyHour.

Derek Johanson, the guy who runs CopyHour, finds successful sales letter (like the Truth About Abs VSL).

He then sends the copy to you to actually copy out by hand, one sales letter each day, for 60 days.

And then he gets on a video call to explain all the fine points of what you just copied, and why it works.

It’s a solid (and proven) way to get much better at writing copy, and to do so quickly.

The thing is, you can’t join CopyHour most of the time. Because of the “live” nature of the course, Derek only opens it up for enrollment a few times a year.

Right now is one of those times. So in case you’re new to copywriting and you want to get better quickly, CopyHour might be worth a  look while enrollment is open. If you’re interested, here’s the link:

http://copyhour.com/

An important reminder for clingy copywriters

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A few days ago, I got carried away.

A potential new client contacted me. “Would you like to write daily emails for us?” he asked.

“Sure I would,” I said. “And I’d like to do more than that for you.”

Then I threw in a kitchen-sinkful of copywriting and marketing services I could provide along with the daily emails. The problem was that at this early stage, I didn’t really know what this client’s actual needs are. In other words, I was pitching instead of selling, as Ben Settle puts it.

Normally, I don’t get this needy or clingy.

But sometimes, it gets away from me.

A few days after this happened, I read something related by direct response copywriter Jason Leister.

I think it’s an important reminder for all copywriters, including myself, who can get carried away when a great new opportunity appears on the horizon. Jason writes:

“Over the years, I’ve come to hire clients very slowly. If you work with clients, consider hiring them SLOWLY. (You are hiring them, remember that. You’re in the driver’s seat of your business, not anyone else. They’ve got the “money” but you have the thing for which they are willing to part with that money. Money is everywhere, YOU are not.)”

Jason then describes what this means practically in his business.

I think it’s worthwhile reading for all freelance copywriters.

If you want to read Jason’s complete email including the practical bits, simply write me and I can forward it to you. Or you can head over to Jason’s site, where he publishes his daily emails with a few days’ delay. Here’s the link:

https://incomparableexpert.org/dailyjournal/