Copywriting

Murdered billionaire pedophile secrets

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You can’t beat a royal flush.

That’s not the case with other hands in poker.

Full house… Straight… Four of a kind…

Given the right combination of cards, each of those hands is beatable.

Just as beatable as certain ideas are beatable.

So for example, I once read (in Chip and Dan Heath’s Made to Stick) that during WWII in the US, there were widespread race-baiting rumors that were hurting the war effort.

Some of these rumors said American Jews were profiteering from the national war effort.

Other rumors claimed that black soldiers were stockpiling weapons in advance of massive race riots.

Still other rumors claimed that Japanese Americans being held in internment camps were living high and consuming meat, sugar, and other restricted items.

Trouble is, these kinds of rumors were eating away at the national effort to actually go to Europe and fight in the war.

So how would you combat those rumors?

Well, here’s how you don’t do it:

You don’t try to argue…

You don’t present the facts…

And you don’t harp on about “reality” and “truth” back of it all.

Instead, you come up with a better rumor, and you start spreading that yourself.

So, during WWII, the government agencies in charge of rumor control started publishing posters which depicted Nazi agents going around the country and spreading misinformation about racial minorities.

The campaign was successful. America got united enough to fight in the war. And we now remember that time as a unique moment of righteousness in world history.

Anyways, point being, if you want to fight sticky ideas, come up with more sticky ideas.

Of course, sometimes that’s not possible.

Sometimes you come across a royal flush.

As you’ve probably heard, billionaire pedo Jeffrey Epstein was successfully suicided in his prison cell yesterday.

Epstein was supposed to have info on the sexual perversions of all the powerful people in the world, including Trump, Clinton, the Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, and maybe even Jonah Hill.

This information was too explosive…

The people involved too influential…

And now, Epstein is dead.

How predictable. We will never know the truth. At least that’s the current feeling, even in the mainstream, in spite of the best efforts of the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal to dismiss this as “rampant conspiracy theories.”

Whatever you think actually happened to Epstein, I think you will have to agree with me:

“Billionaire pedophile murdered because of his secrets” is the kind of story that is an absolute royal flush in terms of stickiness.

No other rumor, including that Jeffrey Epstein was actually a female lizard alien funded by the Illuminati so they can make America a new Islamic state, can dislodge this in the public mind right now.

And that’s why the development of this story is worth watching.

Assuming, of course, that idea spreading is the kind of thing that gets you turned on.

Which it certainly does for me.

And so, if you need help spreading some ideas, which I hope are more positive and less explosive than the whole Epstein drama, then consider the following, non-mainstream guide:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

When freelancer copywriters should lower their rates

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I saw a question a few days ago from a freelancer who NEEDS some money coming in.

Trouble is, she’s thinking of applying for a job, but the client’s budget for this job is less than the freelancer’s normal hourly rate.

(This whole story is happening on Upwork, but I think it applies just as well even if you’re dealing with clients in any other situation.)

And so the freelancer is wondering whether she should apply for the job at her preferred rate…

Or whether she should drop her rate and apply so she’s within the client’s budget.

In the first case, she might not be considered for the job.

In the second case, she might be selling herself short.

So what to do?

Personally, I would take the great white shark approach.

I read somewhere that most shark bites come down to curiosity.

Sharks don’t have hands or any other good way of interacting with random objects they come across in the sea.

Their only real way to figure out what that floating thing is, is to take a bite.

If it’s not according to the shark’s taste, the shark will simply spit it out and move on.

But if it fits the shark’s current appetite, the shark will go to town.

And so with lowering your freelance rates.

My advice is to stick your rates, even when applying for a job that clearly has a lower budget.

Depending on the client, you might get the job, even at your higher asking price.

Or maybe you won’t. Maybe the client will say, “Boy you’re great! And we would love to hire you, but you’re just out of our budget.”

At that point, you can decide, based on your own principles, whether this makes sense for you or not.

Do you want to spit this client out?

Or does it make sense to bite into this job — because you really need the money, or you want the experience, or you want that client relationship?

If you do, then, then go to town, just like a great white shark that’s found a tasty seal.

But don’t just jump in and start making compromises right up front because a client put an arbitrary number as their preferred budget.

That’s my public service announcement for freelance copywriters for the day. In case you have more questions about the business of copy, you might be able to find some answers here:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

How to get really rich in sales and marketing

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I was sitting at the beach yesterday, eating my empanada and trying to mind my own business, when I saw an Indian guy selling beach blankets.

He was talking to a group of women who were interested but not yet decided on buying.

He sweet talked them a little bit.

He answered some questions.

He applied a bit of pressure at the right moments.

Eventually, he convinced them to buy.

He was about to close the sale when the women decided that they wanted another pattern of beach blanket after all.

The guy hung his head.

“No problem,” he seemed to say. And he jogged across the beach for a few hundred yards to get the other pattern from his stash.

He jogged back, handed over the correct blanket, and finally closed the sale.

While I was watching this, all I could think is how much work and skill it had taken for this guy to close this one sale, which probably netted him a profit of a dollar or two.

And it’s just about the same level of work and skill that it would take for a million-dollar deal.

Well, I don’t know about million dollars, but definitely he could be making much more money if he were just selling something else.

And this reminded me of something I’d heard from Craig Clemens.

Craig started out as a direct response copywriter.

He was successful writing in the relationships and dating niche for Eben Pagan (aka David DeAngelo).

Even though Eben and Craig’s dating stuff grew big — around $20 million a year — Craig realized he could be making much more money if he were just in a different market.

So he partnered up with his brothers, and they started Golden Hippo, one of the biggest direct response supplement businesses out there today.

I’m not sure how much Golden Hippo is worth. But I imagine their yearly revenues are in the high hundreds of millions of dollars.

If I see the beach blanket seller again today, I’ll tell him about Craig Clemens and why choosing your market well is key to getting really rich in marketing or sales. And maybe that’s a pointer that you too can benefit from.

On another topic:

If you are looking for advertorials or pre-sell pages that can help you sell supplements or even physical products (perhaps even beach towels), then you might be interested in my upcoming guide on how to write these suckers in ways that convert on cold Facebook traffic:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Copywriting for cavemen

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A while back, some scientists at Cambridge University studied a bunch of hunter gatherer tribes, and they came up with an inspiring conclusion:

Hunter gatherers do not work very hard.

In fact, when you add up all the hunting and gathering they do in a typical week, it adds up to about 20 hours.

Compare that to the typical work week of a human being in agricultural society (30 hours) or in an industrial society (40+ hours).

The point being that maybe we’re not evolved to be all gung-ho about non-stop sweat and toil.

And so if you feel a little lazy sometimes, blame it on tens of thousands of years of evolution that our ancestors spent hanging around caves and watching the caveman equivalent of Netflix.

Now, here’s a bit of good news.

If you aren’t all that crazy about long work—weeks, then copywriting might be a good career choice for you.

Some of the top copywriters out there — including Gene Schwartz, Gary Bencivenga, and Parris Lampropoulos — have stated that a good day for them consists of three hours of solid writing.

Pretty cavemannish schedule.

Plus it gets better.

If you’re easily distracted on top of being a little lazy, you’ve got an additional leg up (three legs down?) on all those other monkeys who want to write successful copy.

Because much of copywriting — 60% according to top copywriting coach David Garfinkel — often goes to research.

Ie. reading.

Following random links.

Kicking rocks around.

And looking for that great idea that will help you sell this weeks copy assignment.

So maybe you’re wondering where I’m going with this.

And it’s simply to give you a bit of encouragement in case you’re wondering whether you have what it takes to be a copywriter.

Odds are good that even the things that you might blame yourself for — such as apparent laziness and distractability — might help you in your journey to get to that top level of marketing and writing copy, if you know how to use them.

Of course, there are lots of other things you’ll need as well.

So if you have questions about succeeding as a copywriter, and if you want my opinion on the steps you need to take besides not working very hard and clicking on lots of seductive links, here’s where to go:
https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

Are your headlines missing these 10 must-have ingredients?

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Real quick today, I wanted to share 10 ingredients for better headlines, along with some examples from advertorials I’ve written recently:

#1. The no. 1 headline driver

When in doubt, go with a “how to” headline. Why? because people have problems and are always looking for solutions to those problems. In other words, use benefits and appeal to self-interest. Example:

“How to prevent ticks from biting and infecting your dog”

#2. “In search of”

I remember some famous direct response copywriter once saying that a decent headline should, at the very least, flag down the correct audience. Even if you don’t talk about benefits or problems, make sure you laser in on the person you want to attract. Example:

“Women with large breasts lecturing me”

#3. Sea salt for headlines

You can’t live by eating salt alone. But it sure makes many dishes taste better. Same with curiosity in headlines. Use it in combination with self-interest and watch the sales drip in. Example:

“I started a new gym habit — then almost gave it up for this stupid reason”

#4. Sticking a spoke in your reader’s mental wheel

I’ve written about this before — using juxtaposition/contrast/paradox is like sticking a spoke in your reader’s mental wheel. It forces him to stop and pay attention in order to resolve the apparent confusion. Example:

“Canine projectile”

#5. The Hallmark approach

If you turn on the Hallmark Channel at any time of day, what will you see? Sappy, human-interest stories. And it works in advertorial headlines, too. Example:

“My family was being devoured by mosquitoes — but this little gizmo saved us”

#6. “The Real World” secret

“Next week, on The Real World…’ Drama. Sex. Conflict. Some things seem to appeal to us on a primal level and don’t need any added justification. So work them into your headlines. Example:

“How I wash blood stains out of my clothes WITHOUT laundry detergent”

#7. A mysterious origin story

As a species, we seem to love reading about accidental and improbable discoveries. If your product has such a mysterious origin story, feature it in the headline. Example:

“The plantar fasciitis secret of an Orangetheory Fitness freak”

#8. Trash talking the competition

If you’re selling a new product to fix an old problem, highlight that fact in your headline by separating yourself from the existing solutions. Example:

“Why security cameras can actually invite robberies — and how I defend my home instead”

#9. Addressing objections

“Yeah, I know I have to take care of my dog’s teeth. But I hate doing it so much. Wait, what? I don’t have to go through the hassle?” If you’re solving a problem that raises a knee-jerk objection, address that in the headline. Example:

“Why your dog should brush her own teeth”

#10. Headline Kryptonite

Prices should never go in the headline of long-form copy, right? Wrong. At least if you do your own testing, and see what works in your specific case. Example:

“How this $14 alarm saved me from a creep at 2am”

And there ya go. 10 ways to write better advertorials headlines along with some examples ot get your headline juices dripping. Mix and match them for best results.

And if you want a more thorough look at how to research, write, and publish profitable story-based advertorials, you might like the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

When to accept “touch up” copywriting jobs

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Last week, after a disappointing run-in with my hairdresser, I wrote about 10 additional services copywriters can offer to their clients.

Copywriter Leah Luong wrote in to get some clarification on strategy #8:

“As a newbie copywriter, I really enjoyed this email. At least they don’t make you into meat pies these days! (Sweeney Todd reference).

“I have a question about #8 The Dreaded Touch Up – How do I know if I should take the gig? In what situations should I run for the hills?”

The Dreaded Touch-Up is when the client comes to you and says, “We have this copy… It’s great, just needs to be touched up a bit.”

Like I wrote in that post last week, I normally avoid this kind of job — but there are cases when it makes sense to take it on. And Leah is asking what those cases are.

Before I give you my opinion, let me tell you about the four types of copywriting clients.

This comes from A-list copywriter Bob Bly, who says clients can fall into one of four categories: arrogant, ignorant, both, or neither.

Says Bob, it’s ok to work with arrogant clients. They know just as much or more about marketing as you do.

It’s also ok to work with ignorant clients. They defer to your opinion and let you take the lead.

What’s NOT ok is working with clients who are both arrogant and ignorant. These folks don’t know much about marketing (“This hairball of a sales letter is almost perfect, just needs some jazzing up”) but they are inflexible in their ignorance (“It absolutely shouldn’t take you more than 2 hours MAX to fix this mess up”).

So the first step of the Acceptable Touch-Up is to make sure you’re not dealing with clients who are both ignorant and arrogant.

Which, by default, leaves you with clients who are just ignorant.

Not ignorant in general.

Just ignorant of what needs to be done to fix their existing copy.

That’s why you, as the copywriter, should take charge and set expectations.

So in the case I referred to last week, I looked over the sales letter, and I found the few things — headline, lead, a couple of bullets — that I thought would make the biggest improvement if changed.

And I told the client, “I’ll write a new headline, new lead, and change these bullets for you, all for the reasonable price of whatever. Does that work for you?”

They agreed. So it made sense for me to take the job. And they were happy with the result, because it was exactly what I said I would do.

That’s my best advice when it comes to dealing with the Dreaded Touch-Up.

In case you’ve got other questions about how to deal with copywriting clients in various situations, you might be interested in the following:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/

Science, Skrillex, and sexy sales copy

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I killed three mosquitoes this afternoon. The little bastards are suddenly everywhere.

I wish some secret government agency would fly planes overhead and spray a cloud of toxic dust over my house to keep me from getting bitten and buzzed.

But until that happens, I guess I’ll have to blast some Skrillex.

No joke.

A science paper from 2016 found that Skrillex’s “Scary Monsters & Nice Sprites” prevents mosquito bites.

The scientists think it’s the way high pitched and low pitched frequencies change in the song.

They found that mosquitoes listening to Skrillex wanted to have less mosquito sex… Communicated less with mosquito neighbors… And were less hungry for mosquito food ie. human blood.

(I just listened to the song. It’s annoying. I can understand why it would make mosquitoes lose their instinct for living.)

Anyways, here’s why I bring this up:

I found out this bit of mosquito knowledge a few days ago while writing an advertorial for a “hypersonic mosquito repellent bracelet.”

People love a scientific explanation backed by research. It’s one of those things that taps into an automatic human response, just like sex.

So I use scientific research whenever possible in my copy.

Thing is, ya can’t always do it, not with the random ecommerce products like the ones I’ve been promoting.

But when it is possible, like with the mosquito bracelet, I make sure to make the scientific research the nail from which I hang the rest of the advertorial.

If you are writing sales copy, even advertorials, this is something to try as well.

By the way, I am still (slowly) putting together my upcoming guide on how to write successful story-based advertorials. If you wanna get notified when it’s out, you can sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Old people in ridiculous t-shirts

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I was a little shocked when my grandfather opened the door.

He was of mixed Croatian and Italian heritage, as white as they come, and at the time of this story, probably well into his 70s.

When going outside, he would usually wear a suit and a tie. But on this occasion, he opened the door wearing his home outfit — sweatpants and a t-shirt.

And not just any t-shirt.

It was FUBU — “For Us, By Us” — the Afrocentric brand that flourished in the U.S. thanks to being plugged by rappers such as LL Cool J.

This wasn’t the only case of senior clothing mismatch I’ve seen in Croatia.

A few weeks ago I saw an ancient woman, probably born in the Austro-Hungarian empire, wearing a t-shirt that read, “FETISH.”

And around the same time I saw a grey-haired, middle-aged man with a t-shirt that said, “Bitch better have my money.”

Now, I think these cases are all funny.

And I guess I am not the only one. Because juxtaposition — basically putting two things together — is an almost-mechanical way to create humor out of nothing. A shirt that says FETISH is at best trashy. An 80-year old woman wearing a shirt that says FETISH… well, that’s content.

Two points I wanna bring up:

Juxtaposition doesn’t always make for humor. But if you juxtapose things that are different enough, you’re at least going to get some shock or wonder (“The unique world of gay rodeo”).

Second: humor, curiosity, shock, wonder, and juxtaposition are all great things to include on occasion in your sales copy.

They will make people enjoy reading what you have to say, so your audience forms a stronger bond with you.

But they are not a crutch you should rely on endlessly.

And except in personality-based emails or blog posts (such as this one), they are still best paired with that most fundamental direct response driver — self-interest — in order to be effective.

And with that, let me juxtapose an important final point:

If you want to see some examples of serious sales copy that uses light juxtaposition in an effective and sales-producing way, you might like the following offer:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The quick and easy marketing lesson hiding under Harry Potter’s robes

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A few days ago, I watched Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone for the first time.

Odds are, you know all about Harry Potter.

But just in case, let me summarize the first 20 minutes of the movie for you:

Harry is an unloved and unlovable dork. He’s 12 years old and the most distinctive features about him are his John Lennon glasses and his Ringo Starr haircut. In other words, this kid ain’t going nowhere.

And then he gets a letter in the mail.

“You are a wizard, Harry Potter”

Within a whirlwind few days, Harry suddenly comes into talent, money, connections, plus he’s famous and good at sports. Oh — and he gets to wear some snazzy black robes.

So what’s the lesson hiding under all this?

Well, this Harry Potter fantasy is the human condition.

We are all unloved and unlovable in different ways.

We trudge on through life, smiling and putting on a brave face. But deep down, we all keep a bit of hope that we too will get a letter in the mail saying:

“All your problems have been solved, starting NOW! By a magical accident, you are now beautiful and talented and admired and by the way all your money problems have been solved from here to eternity!”

Admit it.

That would be a sweet letter to get, if you could at all believe that it’s true.

Trouble is, Hogwarts is full up for the year.

And probably next year too.

And that’s where direct marketers come in.

Because the best direct marketers will send you just such a letter, promising to take away your biggest problems, starting now — and in a perfectly quick and easy way.

So if you’re trying to sell something, think of poor bespectacled Harry Potter living under the dusty stairs in his aunt’s house, and imagine him receiving your sales pitch.

Will it transform the little dweeb into a magical wizard overnight?

Will it get him excited enough to scrape together his meager allowance so he can send for your “From Weirdo to Wizard” course?

Because if not, you’ve got some work to do, fashioning a better offer or some better marketing.

I can’t help with the offer. But if you want help with the marketing, then I’ve got a quick and easy solution for you:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The latest bad news for direct response copywriters

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Here’s a fair warning to any copywriters out there:

I just read that Chase Bank has signed a 5-year contract with Persado.

Never heard of Persado?

Neither had I.

It turns out they are a provider of AI-generated marketing copy.

In other words, instead of hiring a marketing agency or in-house talent or (gasp!) even freelance copywriters, Chase Bank will be getting their copy (at least some of it) done by tireless, uncomplaining, non-unionized software robots.

“Pff,” you might say, “good luck to them. I’m sure the copy will be terrible and they’ll just waste their money.”

Not so fast. Chase didn’t just choose Persado because AI is hip or because AI-generated copy is cheap. No. It also performs better. Here’s a test for you:

A: “Access cash from the equity in your home”

B: “It’s true—You can unlock cash from the equity in your home”

Who wrote what and which headline won?

Think about it and then read on.

The first ad headline was written by a red-blooded human copywriter. The second was written by a pale and pasty AI sprite. The AI sprite got the better response.

I think this is a sign of things to come.

Headlines might be the first to go, since they might be easier to write than entire paragraphs and sales arguments and whatever else.

But at the same time… haven’t you heard that the headline is 80% of the ad?

So if computers are writing better headlines than humans, human copywriters might not be getting so well paid in the near future.

Now at this point, maybe you are getting a little nervous. I know I am.

And so I want to tell you that this news doesn’t have to spell doom.

For one thing, in any crisis, it seems that many people suffer, while a few rise to the top and profit even more than before.

Maybe that can be you, if you can really hone your persuasion and copy skills and rise to being in the 1% of all copywriters out there.

The second thing is that copywriting, while it is a noble and profitable profession, maybe should not be your end goal.

Instead, maybe copywriting should simply be a kind of “Trojan horse” that you use to embed yourself within a successful business — AI revolution be damned.

That’s something to think about — even if you’re a rank copywriting newbie.

Anyways, if you’ve got questions about how to succeed in the business of copy, then I have something you might like. It’s a report that summarizes my experience getting well-paying clients during the first few years of my freelance copywriting career.

In case you want to know more about this report, check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork-book-notification-list/