Copywriting

Open this email to take a little trip

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This morning, I had coffee at the little harbor in the old fishing village of Volosko, on the Croatian seaside, where my dad has an apartment.

The harbor in Volosko is very small, enough for a dozen small boats. It’s surrounded by colorful buildings with wooden shutters and blooming flowers on the window sills.

Today being Sunday, it was quiet, nobody much around, just the docked boats slapping against the sea. Somewhere a mast stay was clanging against the mast.

In the middle of the small harbor, there is a breakwater, which has been converted into a terrace for a nearby cafe. I was there this morning, with my dad and his wife, sitting in the shade, sipping an espresso and watching people walking their dogs.

I’ve been staying in Volosko for the past four days. I’ve largely had an unenjoyable time. I’m not joking.

I asked myself, how?

I realized it’s because I spent the four days at my computer, at home, mostly working. My dad and his wife have been doing the same — on their screens, maybe working, maybe just wasting time.

It’s been said, if you write sales emails, make them entertaining. Take people for a ride. Because people’s everyday lives are rather dull and limited. That’s not me being condescending. I myself am as guilty of living a dull and limited life as anybody, or maybe more so, since I sit in front of the computer so much.

So when you write sales emails, show people a scene. Take them for a ride, or a little trip. ​It will be good for your readers, and good for you too — because it will force you to look up from your own screen on occasion and see the rather rich world that surrounds you.

The last time I was in Volosko was a year ago. I traveled there for business — so I could write and send my Most Valuable Postcard #2.

If you want to see more of Volosko, and of Opatija, the bigger beachhead resort town that Volosko has merged into, you can find a bunch of photos of that inside my MVP2 below.

And besides the pictures, MVP2 also has a point — the essence of copywriting and marketing, as I see it, woven into a bunch of stories. Here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/mvp2/

Keep taking your marketing cues from email Beyoncés

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Beyoncé rolled into town a week ago. Her first tour in eight years. People were desperate for tickets.

It’s customary for touring artists to have an opening act or two. Get people warmed up. Give people more for their money.

But Beyoncé had no opening act. Why should she? It’s Beyoncé. She hasn’t done a show in eight years.

Everybody who managed to get a ticket to see her and to witness the light show and the costume changes and Reneigh the flying silver horse got their money’s worth. And they were grateful to get a chance to be there, just to see Beyoncé, and to hear Beyoncé sing.

Yesterday, I invited people to send me their failing emails. The solid ones that didn’t make sales. The interesting ones that nobody cared about.

One thing I saw in a third of the emails is people taking cues from the Beyoncés of the email marketing world. The equivalent of, “Beyoncé doesn’t have an opening act. So why should I?”

No reason. If your emails are getting the results you want, then keep doing what you’re doing.

But if not, it might be time to stop taking your cues from email Beyoncés, to look at the fundamentals of your copy, and to see if you’re missing anything there.

I responded to everyone who wrote me with what I thought was the biggest mistake in their emails, and I told them how I would fix it.

I will put on a training based on this, about the most common email copy mistakes I see, in my coaching students, in consulting clients, and in copywriters and business owners who have bought my courses and trainings.

Meanwhile, my offer from yesterday still stands:

Have you written a great email that made zero sales? Or did you send out something super interesting — but nobody cared?

Send me an email of yours that was a disappointment or failure. In return, I’ll point out the biggest mistake I see in that email, and I’ll tell how you can fix it in the future, quickly, easily, and profitably.

Do you make these mistakes in email copy?

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I’ve critiqued over 100 sales emails by a dozen or more business owners and professional copywriters. I’ve found 9 mistakes repeatedly keep popping up, like moles in a manicured lawn, spoiling what might otherwise be fun, engaging, money-making emails.

Many people use Reddit threads or personal stories at the start of their email that are sure to kill the sale by the end of the email.

Others try to express their personality with language that chases off good prospects.

It is astonishing how often people resort to subject line tricks that attract the exact wrong segment of their audience.

Why do most people make these mistakes in email copy?

The reason is clear. There are only a few fundamentals to writing good emails. But learning what those fundamentals and mastering them are two different things.

The fascinating thing is that, by fixing a few common mistakes, sales emails become faster and easier to write. Maybe even more fun, for you and for your reader.

Most importantly, corrected sales emails make more sales, not just today, but tomorrow and the day after.

I’ve decided to put on a training about the most common email copy mistakes I’ve seen, in my coaching students, in consulting clients, and in copywriters and business owners who have bought my courses and trainings.

If you like, you can help influence this training, and even get more benefit out of it when it’s out.

Have you written a great email that made zero sales? Or did you send out something super interesting — but nobody cared?

Send me an email of yours that was a disappointment or failure. In return, I’ll point out the biggest mistake I see in that email, and I’ll tell how you can fix it in the future, quickly, easily, and profitably.

Mysteries of the mind

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Yesterday I started listening to a four-and-a-half hour long presentation titled, Best Life Ever. I did it because the guy speaking, Jim Rohn, has been billed, by no less an authority than genius marketer and influence expert Dan Kennedy, as being a master storyteller.

Dan says that Jim Rohn built his long and very successful career on zero practical content, great stories only.

So that’s what I expected to find. Fantastic fluff. Zero real substance.

And yet I was surprised. In the first twenty minutes, I already found the content genuinely insightful. I felt that Dan was underselling it. Take for example the following. With a smile, Rohn says:

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The day the Christian Church was started, a magnificent sermon was preached. A great presentation. And if you’re a student at all of good communication, it was one of the classic presentations of all time.

And this sermon, this presentation, was given to a multitude. Meaning a lot of people. But it was interesting.

The record says, when the sermon was finished, there was a variety of reaction to the same sermon. Isn’t that fascinating? I find that fascinating.

It said some that heard this presentation were perplexed.

Now I read the presentation. It sounded pretty straightforward to me. Why would somebody be perplexed with a good, sincere, straightforward presentation?

Best answer I’ve got: They are the perplexed. What other explanation is there? It doesn’t matter who’s preaching.

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Rohn’s point is that there are some mysteries of the mind.

Why are some people inspired to take action? Why do others never take action? Why are some people perplexed? Why do others mock and laugh?

You can try to figure it out. So did Rohn, once upon a time.

“I don’t do that any more,” he says in his talk. “I’ve got peace of mind now. I can sleep like a baby. Not trying to straighten any of this out any more.” It’s just mysteries of the mind.

Did you find that insightful?

I did. But maybe I’m just very easy to dupe into feeling like I’ve had an epiphany. Doesn’t matter who’s preaching.

Or who knows. Maybe Rohn is such a good storytellers that even in those first 20 minutes, he managed to prime me for being easily influenced.

In case you’re a student at all of good communication, this guy was one of the classic presenters of all time. To see why, watch a few minutes of the following:

 

Why the girl-and-python show is a great place to negotiate

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Here’s an intriguing (and for writers, a most instructive) scene from one of the greatest films in Hollywood history:

“Christ what a trip. The whole time I’m thinking, what if somebody knows what I got in here? Can you imagine that? Two million dollars on the seat next to me in that plane? Mikey, what the hell’s going on anyway? I’m totally in the dark.”

Mikey picks up the suitcase and carries it off. “The family’s making an investment in Havana. This is a little gift for the President.”

Maybe you recognize this scene. It’s from The Godfather, part 2. ​​Fredo Corleone, the oldest surviving son of the Godfather, is talking to his younger brother Michael, who now heads the Corleone crime family.

Michael recently survived an assassination attempt. He knows his business partner Heyman Roth and Roth’s henchman Johnny Ola were behind it. What he doesn’t know is who inside his own circle betrayed him and collaborated with Roth.

Fredo puts his hands in his pockets as he watches the suitcase disappear.

“Havana’s great!” he says. “My kind of town. Anybody I know in Havana?”

Michael pours himself a glass of water. “Oh… Heyman Roth? Johnny Ola?”

Fredo stares for a bit, trying to pull out a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket. Finally he manages to get the cigarettes out. He looks away.

​​”No. Never met them.”

A couple weeks ago, I wrote an email about negotiation coach Jim Camp. Camp helped negotiate many billion-dollar deals, but he became famous thanks to his contrarian, oracle-like sayings.

One thing Camp said is that he likes to negotiate in the bathroom. That might sounds contrarian, but it’s not. It’s very literal, and backed by basic human psychology.

For an example, fast forward a bit, to Havana.

​​Fredo isn’t smart or strong enough to run the Corleone family, but he’s a fun guy. He knows all the cool spots. He takes Michael and a few U.S. Senators and judges to a girl-and-python act.

“Watch,” says Fredo, as he pours out glasses of rum. “You’re not gonna believe this.”

A young woman is brought out on stage. She is tied to a kind of ceremonial pillar. Then a man in a silk robe is brought out. Two assistants pull off his silk robe to leave him standing naked in front of the audience.

The guys with Fredo — except Michael, who’s checking his watch — gasp and then start chuckling.

“That thing’s gotta be a fake. Hey Freddie! Freddie! How’d you even find this place?”

Fredo doesn’t take his eyes off the stage. “Johnny Ola told me about this place. He brought me here. I didn’t believe him, but seeing is believing. Old man Roth would never come here, but old Johnny knows these places like the back of his hand.”

Michael doesn’t move. He doesn’t say anything. But he looks like somebody just punched him in the gut. And he turns around, and gives a signal to his man who is standing at the door.

So there you go. The reason to negotiate in the bathroom, or during the girl-and-python act. It’s because barriers come down. Jim Camp explains: “As they go to the bathroom, you ask them a question. They’ll answer. They smile, and they answer the question. It’s a great time to do research.”

I wrote about that in my email couple weeks ago. But then I asked myself, what’s really going on? Is this just a negotiation trick?

Eventually, it dawned on me. It’s not a trick. It’s a bit of very basic human psychology.

Our brain likes to think in discrete events, snapshots, scenes, like a movie. This much is obvious. What’s less obvious and more interesting are the consequences. From a New Yorker article on the topic:

“Walking into a room, you might forget why you came in; this happens, researchers say, because passing through the doorway brings one mental scene to a close and opens another.”

Like I said, a bit of fundamental human psychology.

You can now shrug your shoulders and say, “So what?” That would be a Fredo-like thing to do.

Or you can be more like Michael Corleone, and think about how to adapt, how to use this bit of psychology for your own ends.

That’s what Jim Camp did. That’s what successful magicians do. And successful writers, too. In fact, it’s what I’ve tried to do in this very email.

Let me end there, and point you to an offer you can certainly refuse. It’s my Most Valuable Email training, a kind of man-and-keyboard act. In case you’re a person who likes to take advantage of fundamental human psychology:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

Simple strategy to build your status, turn readers into advocates, and create a content flywheel

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Yesterday, I wrote an email about true magic, in which I promoted my Most Valuable Email course right at the top. I got a reply to that email from reader Jakub Červenka:

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John, I hope you are selling tons of mves.

Had I not bought it already, I would now, just as a thank you for many clever ways how you pitch it.

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Perhaps you skimmed across Jakub’s message just now, without really reading. I hope you didn’t. But even if you did, well…

I always thought that when people write emails featuring a reader comment, it’s all about being 1) pressed for time, because it’s easy to write an email that’s mostly a reader reply, and 2) self-serving, because the reader comment is usually a testimonial or an endorsement of some sort.

And no doubt, both of those are good reasons to regularly feature reader comments in your emails.

But there are other good reasons, too.

For one, it shows off you have readers. Don’t scoff.

Lots of people who write a newsletter don’t have any readers, particularly readers who are engaged enough to reply. So if you do have ’em, and can prove it, it builds your status and authority, independent of the content of the actual reply you got.

For two, it acknowledges and recognizes the reader who wrote in. It’s nice to see your name in print, going out to thousands of people, even if it’s just in an email.

Plus, it can give the reader added benefits. I’ve had Ben Settle featured something I wrote him in one of his emails, and people found me and signed up to my list as a result.

Point being, featuring a reader’s reply can benefit that reader in different ways, making it more likely he sticks around and becomes an advocate, not just a reader or customer.

For three, it encourages more responses in the future. This contributes to all the other benefits I listed above.

I could go on. But if you weren’t convinced by three arguments, what are the odds you will be convinced by a fourth? Slim.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, perhaps you too are in the daily race to find clever ways to pitch your offers. And perhaps you find yourself writing things that are a little too dry and literal. Perhaps you don’t even have any readers replying to your emails yet. If so, here’s a way to fix it:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

A story about true magic

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If you’re interested in my Most Valuable Email program, you can find that here:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

And now, here’s a story about true magic:

Magician Max Malini made his reputation thanks to impromptu performances.

One time, Malini sat down at a restaurant for dinner with company. He spent hours there, talking with his friends, drinking, eating. Fish soup. Lamb chops. Then a slice of chocolate cake.

During the entire time, Malini didn’t get up from the table.

Eventually, he turned to a woman at his table and asked to borrow her hat. This was at a time when women still wore hats. The woman took off hers and handed it to Malini.

Malini set a coin spinning on the table, and asked the woman, lady or eagle? The owner of the hat called out, eagle.

Malini used the hat to cover the still-spinning coin. When he lifted the hat, the coin was flat on the table, tails up, showing the eagle.

Mailini set the coin spinning a second time. He asked a man at his table, lady or eagle? The man said, lady.

Malini covered the coin with the hat again. When he lifted the hat, the coin was flat on the table, heads up, showing the lady.

Malini then set the coin spinning a third time, and covered it with the hat.

And when he lifted the hat, there was no coin at at all.

Instead, there was an enormous block of ice on the table, a cube about one foot to a side, perfectly chiseled, without a single drop of melted ice water anywhere.

And the point? In the words of another magician, screenwriter and novelist William Goldman:

“In a sense, a screenplay, whether a romance or a detective story, is a series of surprises. We detonate these as we go along. But for a surprise to be valid, we must first set the ground rules, indicate expectations.”

And now you can go back to the beginning if you like.

Dentists vs. copywriters: Who wins the better customer battle?

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Here’s a new perspective I found insightful, about who you sell to. Maybe it can save you some headache and even failure:

A few days ago, I was talking to a newsletter strategy consultant. He was telling me about his own newsletter, and the paid advertising he is planning for getting paid subscribers to it.

I won’t name this guy — I’m not sure he would want me to — and I won’t reveal the kinds of people he will be targeting with his ads — not so relevant to others but maybe very valuable to him.

So what’s left?

What’s left is the people he will not be targeting with his ads. And this I believe is relevant whatever your actual business is.

The newsletter expert said he will not be targeting independent newsletter creators. Why? Because, as he told me, they are “a little short term and flaky.”

How could it really be any other way?

If somebody has no employees, no office, no expensive and custom equipment, no contracts to fulfill, and in general no obligations, what’s keeping them going if things ever get bad? The answer is nothing.

That’s why it’s in general better to sell to, say, dentists, who are tethered by a million hooks to their businesses, than to, say, copywriters, who can decide from today to tomorrow to close their laptops and go work as a park ranger or to maybe roast coffee for a living.

That’s not to say you can’t make money selling to people who are a little short-term and flaky. But it exposes you to more risk, and it limits what you can sell and for how much.

That’s something to keep in mind whether you sell to other businesses (hopefully, chained and burdened dentists) or direct to consumers (hopefully, people with an unavoidable problem or an all-consuming obsession).

Last point:

​​I found an interesting new newsletter recently.

This newsletter gives the perspective of somebody who manages to profit from short-term and flaky independent newsletter creators. That somebody is Scott Oldford, who has been buying up independent newsletters and then investing in them and scaling them up. Scott writes about his adventures here:

https://investing.scottoldford.com/

Pretentious prick introduces himself

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Hello. My name is John Bejakovic. I was born in Croatia, but I grew up in the US. Since 2015, I’ve been working as a direct response copywriter for a bunch of clients, including many 7- and 8-figure businesses.

These days I mostly work on growing my own newsletter in the health space. I also write these daily emails about copywriting, marketing, and influence. Sometimes, I consult and coach people on things I know about, such as email marketing and copywriting.

And if you’re wondering why I’m telling you all this…

A few days ago, I signed up to a copywriter’s newsletter. The guy’s name is Louis Grenier. I’m not sure how I found him or how I opted in to his list. He sends daily emails, much like this one you’re reading. Except day after day, this guy starts off his emails with “Bonjour bonjour.”

“What a pretentious prick,” I thought to myself.

Yesterday, Louis sent out an email with the subject line, “A cheatcode for non-native speakers.”

“This oughta be good,” I said to myself, and I opened it.

I skimmed the email. Something about how Louis started a podcast, about how he felt insecure at first because of his American accent when speaking French, but how he realized it was actually a competitive advantage.

Huh? There was a kind of fog in my head. Why is this American guy hosting a podcast in French? And what kind of competitive advantage does an American accent in French possibly give you?

I reread the email from the beginning, a little more carefully now.

It only then started to dawn on me that Louis Grenier, though he writes perfectly in English, and though he has a name that could certainly belong to an American, is actually French. “Bonjour bonjour” isn’t the move of a pretentious prick. Rather, it’s a bit of cute personal positioning.

Point being, you have to constantly repeat yourself.

People aren’t paying 100% attention. You’re not the only one in their inbox. They skim. They forget. Plus new people get on your list, and maybe they missed the fact you’re French or Croatian or Pomeranian or whatever.

So you gotta repeat yourself, the core stuff, simply and clearly, over and over. You need to constantly remind people. And you need to constantly introduce yourself to people who just found you.

And now let me repeat the core message of my emails, at least the tail end:

There is something you can do each day to become better as a marketer or copywriter, which I call the Most Valuable Email trick.

I applied this Most Valuable Email trick once at the end of January, and I got a completely unnecessary and unexpected windfall of about $2,900 in sales, with zero work.

I applied it another time and started a buying frenzy even though I had nothing to sell.

I applied it a third time, and got a nice email in response from Joe Schriefer, the former copy chief at Agora Financial.

But even if none of those external valuable things happen, the Most Valuable Email trick is still most valuable, because it makes me a tiny bit better each time I apply it.

And it can do the same for you. If you’d like to start applying this trick today, here’s where you can discover it:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

96% done, I knew I had to discard today’s email

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I was gonna write one email today, and it was gonna be solid and possibly fine. But fate didn’t allow me to go down that path.

My original email was about a momentous interview in 1992 when CNN talk show host Larry King interviewed Ross Perot, the Texas billionaire.

With three questions, King managed to convince Perot to run in the 1992 presidential race… very probably stealing the presidency from George Bush… giving it to Bill Clinton… and changing world history for decades to come.

In fact, I wrote that original email, most of it. I’d say I was 96% of the way done.

I’m not sure why — maybe I felt something was missing, maybe I wanted something concrete — but I decided to go on YouTube and see if I could quickly find the actual interview and hear Perot’s exact words.

I tried once, twice.

Lots of other Ross Perot videos, lots of other Larry King videos. But I couldn’t find the actual 1992 interview.

I decided it was time to get back to my email and finish things up but—

​​”Let me give it just one more try,” I said to myself.

I typed in a new search into YouTube.

​​Still no actual 1992 interview.

But a few videos down, almost below the fold, there was a 1 minute, 34 second clip of Larry King reminiscing about the interview.

Turns out, King asked Perot if he would run for president in the very first question of the night. Perot said no. King asked once more, midway through the interview. Perot said no. And then, in King’s own words:

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Two minutes left of the show. I don’t know what in me — just the way he was talking, the way we were conducting, talking about the economy — I said, “Is there any situation under which you would run?”

He said, “I tell you what. You put me on the ballot in all 50 states, and I’d run.”

And when we left that night, I said, “You think anything’s going to happen?” He says, “I don’t think so.”

And two days later he called me and he said, “I got back to my hotel room and the bellhop gave me $10. This could be a sign.”

And two weeks later, Dan Rather led with it on the CBS Evening News. Ran clips from my show. And the rest is history. We made a candidate.

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King was known as a master storyteller. Those 133 words above show why. As soon as I heard them, I was struck.

I knew what I had to do.

And the rest is history. I discarded my original email. I wrote this new one. Maybe it will influence you, or help you improve your storytelling. All you have to do is ponder Larry King’s words above a bit. And who knows where could will lead you?

But back to the present:

My offer tonight is my Most Valuable Email course, which is not about storytelling — unless you want it to be.

A part of what you get with MVE is my Most Valuable Email Swipes, 51 of my best emails using the Most Valuable Email trick. I just counted. 19 of the 51 are primarily story-based emails, which also happen to use the Most Valuable Email trick.

This could be a sign:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/​​