“Hating freelancing right now”

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I’m still working on revamping my book about succeeding as a freelancer on Upwork. One part of what I’ll include is my answers to 64 high-level, “big obstacle” questions that freelancers, including those on Upwork, tend to run into regularly.

Such as the following question from Reddit:

“Back then when I started out to work online (Internet Marketing & SEO) I kinda enjoyed it a bit but nowadays after 3 years part-time and now 1 year full time I kinda hate it at all..

“What might be the reason for it? Just bcz I got some money on my bank account? I think that gives me some trust that I can just chill out.”

I’ve personally never hated freelancing. But I have hated myself as well as my life while freelancing.

I put this down to my bad tendency to blame myself rather than external factors. And if you think I’m humblebragging, I’m not. I genuinely think it’s good for your mental health in the long run if you can honestly say, “I would have been successful — if not for the damned rain.” If instead you say (like I do), “It’s my fault because I didn’t bring an umbrella, stupid stupid!” you will eat away at yourself too much, too soon.

Anyways, on to the question.

I don’t know what causes hate, whether of freelancing or of the freelancer and his life. But I do know what can work as a fix.

In my experience, it’s to keep experimenting with different techniques. Some ideas:

Work in tight routines.

Stop working in tight routines and allow yourself to work however much and whenever you want.

Take a change of scenery.

Take a break during the day and do something new to appreciate the fact that you have flexibility.

Keep looking to improve your skills and get more specialized and valuable.

Keep increasing your rates to make your life better and to challenge yourself.

Keep working on your own side projects that will both help you with freelancing and might have some value on their own.

None of these things is going to be THE ONE TRUE answer. But if you keep trying them all, and switching them up, you might just make your whole life better, in small but significant ways, in many different dimensions. And in time that will help you cope with tough times, because those will always come. But they don’t have to cause you to descend into spittle-ejecting hate.

So that’s my bit of pulpit beating for today.

If you have questions about freelancing or copywriting obstacles, you might like that book about Upwork I’m preparing. To get notified when I finish it up, you can sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/150-dollar-per-hour-freelancer

What I’ve learned from weeks of heavy promiscuity

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Over the past several weeks, I’ve been highly promiscuous.

Not sexually, thank God.

But with my email address. I’ve been giving it out left and right, up and down, to people who want it and to those who don’t.

Predictably, my inbox is blowing up. And it’s been a mildly enlightening experience.

Because whenever I check now, I have between 5 and 10 new emails, all of which fall into one of two predictable categories. In fact, it’s just how I imagine it is to be a hot girl on Tinder. Desperate or creepy guys are constantly writing you, and they have one of two things to say:

1) “Yo I’ll cook you some romantic shrimp pasta and then we can play jenga and then have the freakiest sex you ever had in a room with a great view.”

That’s in the early stages of the courtship.

When (if?) this heavy-handed benefits play doesn’t work out, it’s time for stage 2:

2) “Yo why you don’t respond to my messages? I thought you said you like shrimp pasta. I’m still free this Friday. I can come pick you up.”

Like I said, this is basically what ALL of the emails I’ve been getting look like.

They either scream heavy-handed benefits (Real subject line: “8 second trick to get the benefits of 4 hours of meditation TONIGHT”)…

Or they are pitching a sale, and are bummed when you don’t respond (Real subject line: “It’s not too late…”).

It’s like all these desperate or creepy email marketers don’t realize I’m a hot girl with lots of options (metaphorically speaking).

Here’s a better approach.

It’s something I read from Kevin Rogers of Copy Chief yesterday. Says Kevin (I’m paraphrasing), let’s face the fact that email marketers and their readers are in an open relationship.

You probably get emails from lots of different people besides me.

I’m not judging, though.

Because to be honest with you, I’ve just sent this exact same email (all right, now it’s a blog post) to several other people besides yourself.

No neediness. No drama. No recrimination.

Open relationship. Keep this in mind and you’re likely to write much better and more effective emails.

Anyways, before I sign off, let me get back to Kevin Rogers.

I don’t have any particular relationship with the guy.

But I thought you might like to know he’s putting on an event called Copy Chief Live.

Basically, it’s a conference that brings together copywriters and big direct response clients (Agora Financial, etc.) who want to hire copywriters.

So if you wanna feel like the hot girl on Tinder, but in real life, then this event might be worth a look. I’d love to go myself, but unfortunately it’s the only time I can’t make it.

In case you want more info before the price goes up later this week, here’s the link:

https://copychief.live

“Half of my copy is wasted but I do not know which half”

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I just read that the US government is deploying the military to fight fake news.

The plan is to spend billions of dollars to create high-tech, military-grade, “Hot or Not” artificial intelligence that can detect fake news automatically.

Good luck to ’em.

Though personally, I’m all for fake news.

After all, that’s kind of how I make my living.

Over the past 9 months, the bulk of my income has been from writing “advertorials” that are shown to Facebook users.

And while I’m not helping get Trump elected (yet), I am writing propaganda that’s pretending to be more or less innocent blog posts.

The similarity between this and “Russian meddling” was so obvious to me that I even considered naming my upcoming book on advertorials, “Fake News Bonanza.”

Anyways, while we are on the topic of advertorials, I want to bring up an ancient proverb.

It’s been attributed to Biblical-era marketers such as John Wannamaker and William Wrigley. It goes something like this:

“I know that half of my advertising is wasted but I do not know which half.”

Luckily, this isn’t just a problem for advertisers who pony up the money to run ads.

It’s also a problem for copywriters, who depend on the success of their copy either 1) to get more work or 2) to get paid.

I found myself in this situation just recently while writing an advertorial for a protein + caffeine shake.

Who’s really buying this thing? And why?

I don’t know. At best, I could write up two versions of the advertorial, one for each of my best guesses on the target market.

So that’s what I did.

The good news is, I can do a little bit better than Messrs. Wrigley and Wannamaker.

Because as a copywriter, you don’t actually have to watch half of your copy go to waste.

It’s enough to simply come up with a new headline (“My new go-to keto breakfast!”)…

A new lead (“Oh no, I’m so late again”)…

And then to watch which of the alternate approaches will prove best.

If you are a copywriter, I hope this little tip helps you double the odds of success, while only costing you 5% more effort.

And if you’re an advertiser — or a copywriter — you might find the following interesting. It’s a sign-up list to get notified when I launch that book on advertorials, which will have much more specific advice about how to make advertorials successful:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

How to write copy much faster without working any harder

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When most people sit down to write sales copy, they go about it all wrong.

First, they beat on the keyboard for a few minutes or a few hours.

Then they look over the mess they’ve made.

And then they start pulling out their hair in frustration.

Time is passing, but they haven’t written a damn thing yet. Not anything good, at least.

But not you.

Because right now, you’re gonna find out a little secret that I recently discovered in a massively successful promotion, written by A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos. I call it the “suckers lead.” It goes like this:

HEADLINE: How to [get unlikely benefit X]

LEAD: Most people [do the conventional thing and get screwed]. But not you. Because you turned to [page in the book on offer]. Here are some of the secrets you’ll learn: [list of fascinations].

Now, maybe you think this lead is obvious.

Maybe you’re saying, “Yeah, sure John. I coulda thotothat myself. I don’t need you to tell me some supposed A-lister’s supposed dumb secrets.”

If that’s how you feel, then I pity you, young starling.

Because you are likely to waste a lot of time, pull out a lot of hair, and write a lot of shitty copy.

You see, one of the things I’ve been focusing on relentlessly over the past weeks…

Is writing FASTER.

It’s not about typing furiously, about stressing yourself out, or about producing crap.

Instead, it’s about having templates, checklists, and processes to eliminate wasted work, second-guessing, and thumb twiddling.

That’s one of the reasons why I’m collecting leads like the one above — even if they might seem simple.

In fact, this is something I’ll do with the advertorials book I’m putting together. I’ll include a list of simple leads, outlines, and angles to use for various kinds of products.

In case you’re interested in seeing this when it comes out, here’s where you can sign up to get notified when I finish and release this book:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The Claude Hopkins secret hidden inside Boogie Nights

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There’s a memorable scene in the 1997 flick Boogie Nights:

It’s New Year’s Eve, 1980.

Party at the house of Jack Horner, the porn director played by Burt Reynolds.

The assistant director, played by William H. Macy (the main guy in Fargo), is wandering through the crowd inside Horner’s house, looking for his wife.

Nobody has seen her.

Eventually William H. makes his way to the bedroom.

And he finds his wife there, banging some other guy.

​​Yet again.

So William H. walks out of the house and to his car…

He pulls out his gun from the glove compartment…

Locks the car…

Walks back inside the house…

To the bedroom…

Where, in cold blood, he shoots and kills the wife and her hump partner…

Before walking out of the bedroom and blowing his brains out in front of all the partygoers.

I bring up this scene because it brings up the power of possessiveness. Not just about cuckolded husbands who are pushed past the breaking point. It also works in marketing. As Claude Hopkins, the father of direct marketing, wrote a hundred years ago:

“When a man knows something belongs to him, even if it’s a trifle, he will make the effort to get it.”

For example, when Hopkins and the OG marketers like Robert Collier had a boring offer, like a history book or an inquiry form for an insurance policy…

They often wouldn’t focus the sale on that boring offer.

Instead, they would just notify the prospect they had something that belonged to him.

Like a pen with his name etched into it… Or an edition of the boring history book with the prospect’s name engraved on the spine.

This kind of marketing tactic isn’t so common in the digital marketing world. Or at least it’s not being done well.

That might be an opportunity for you. As the Boogie Nights scene shows, possessiveness is a deep human instinct, and it certainly didn’t disappear 100 years ago with Hopkins and Collier.

So if you are selling something online, it might be worth thinking a bit about modern day equivalents of the name-engraved book. Or the wife banging another guy.

For now, if you want some more help with marketing, whether for selling your products or merely returning other people’s property, then take a look here:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Be more like James Blunt

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I was just driving and I heard on the radio that Ed Sheeran is retiring.

He is planning to get married and raise a family, and that’s why he’s stepping away from the music business.

Right now, millions of men around the world are holding their breath and waiting to exhale a big sigh of relief if this news turns out to be true.

Because the only English singer-songwriter worse than Ed Sheeran is James Blunt. But at least James has his incredible social media presence to make up for his sickly sweet songs.

(What, you haven’t seen James Blunt on Twitter? Go and check. It’s worth 15 minutes of your time.)

I was talking to a friend today about this. And he commented that James Blunt has cracked the code on sentimental bubblegum (there should be a name for this genre of music).

So now, James puts out a new song or new album every few years…

He rakes in a few more million dollars…

Which he uses to entertain gaggles of beautiful women at hip London nightspots…

All the while trolling people who mock his awful music on Twitter.

I don’t know about you, but this sounds like a pretty good business.

Just swap out “sentimental bubblegum music” and replace it with “helpful information product,” and you’ve got the ideal lifestyle of the successful digital marketer.

So that’s why I want to be more like James Blunt.

And that’s why I suggest that maybe you too consider emulating this great man.

All right, before I go to bed, I have my usual pitch to make:

In case you need some sentimental bubblegum copywriting, specifically advertorials to promote and maybe even sell your helpful products, then you might find the following offer beautiful:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

10 fresh ways for freelancers to compete against cheaper rates

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A question comes via the Reddit copywriting group:

“How do you compete against people who can do the same work you can, but much cheaper because they live in a country where living is just cheaper (India for example)?”

I honestly don’t think it will matter much what I say.

Because most people who ask this question are too far gone.

Like R. Kelly, fighting against his evil urges but giving in inevitably…

These people are possessed by the evil urge to believe that freelancing won’t work out for them. And like R. Kelly, they will inevitably give in to this urge. They will prove themselves right and fail.
​
Of course, it doesn’t have to be this way.

So in the interest of eternal glory and in the hope it might help someone somewhere, here are 10 fresh ways, which I’ve just baked up, to help you compete even against thousands of people who will charge much less than you:

#1. Have a track record of success. I just read that Stefan Georgi charges between $50k and $100k for a sales letter, plus royalties. His secret? The long track record of making his clients much more than he charges them.

#2. Be more likable. People will hire you just because they like you. Conversely, they will refuse to hire you just because they dislike you.

#3. Get there first. Be the first to apply for an opportunity. Or get in contact with clients that nobody else is approaching. Or that nobody else can reach.

#4. Offer a guarantee. Most freelancer copywriters don’t offer a guarantee. This includes me. I tell clients, “I guarantee I’ll work my ass off for you, and that’s it.” So if you are brave and smart and you offer a guarantee, you can stand out.

#5. Explain your service better. Like Claude Hopkins, who made Schlitz the #1 beer in America by saying it’s pasteurized after it’s sealed. Every other beer was pasteurized as well. But nobody else was explaining these facts.

#6. Explain why your service is better. Why do you deliver a better service than others — other than just trying hard?

#7. Be non-needy. There’s some magic in not worrying whether any particular client comes or goes. The best way to do this is by having other good options. You’ll be surprised how well clients will pay you when they realize you don’t need their money.

#8. Be famous. Start a blog. Get on a podcast. Get on a stage. Marry a Kardashian.

#9. Move into the profits column. Stop offering services that cost your clients money. Instead, start offering services that make your clients money, and take a share of the money they make.

#10. Let your clients sell themselves. I’ve talked about this before, but simply by asking your clients a few open-ended questions about their business, their problems, and their projects, you can often get them to sell themselves — without you saying much or anything at all.

Will these 10 tips help you? I hope so.

And if you have some more questions about the business of copy and how to make it work for you, you might like the following:

https://bejakovic.com/150-dollar-per-hour-freelancer

4 daily email newsletters you might like

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I’m subscribed to several dozen daily newsletters.

Reading most of them is a chore.

In part, that’s cause they all come from Agora or Agora-like companies.

And they either deal with stock tips and gold rush advice…

Or health information about diseases I haven’t heard of, at least yet. (Macular degeneration, when you arrive, I will be ready.)

I slog through these emails each day because email marketing is my job.

But among these dull but important emails, there are a few email newsletters, which arrive daily or even multiple times a day, that I actually open up and read with some personal interest. Here they are:

#1. Simon Black

“America is going to shit and you better have a plan B for when it happens”

That’s the summary of International Man, run by Simon Black.

The thing is, Simon writes interesting emails. There’s always some little history lesson, written as a simple story. I find myself intrigued and educated.

Word to the wise: Simon’s subject lines are pretty dull and too matter-of-fact. Try opening up his emails even if the subject line doesn’t catch your attention.

#2. Newsmax

I mentioned Newsmax a few days ago.

It’s a giant newsletter about news from a conservative standpoint.

All of the stories in Newsmax will get your blood pressure up, whether you vote left, right, or not at all.

Plus, you will get links to some of the most shameless sales letters running on the Internet right now.

#3. Ben Settle

Ben settle didn’t invent daily emails. But he did a lot to make them popular.

He did this by being surprising and polarizing.

Even after many years of reading Ben’s emails, I still open and read them each day.

#4. James Altucher

I only started reading James Altucher several months ago.

He is multimillionaire former hedge fund manager and failed entrepreneur.

He writes long blog posts that get sent as emails as well.

His emails are personal, funny, and interesting.

But James also seems to be backed by some Agora company.

So the interesting and personal stuff that he writes is interspersed with cutthroat sales copy for getting rich off marijuana penny stocks. Just so ya know.

#5. That’s actually it. The above 4 are the only daily newsletters I enjoy reading.

​​But while preparing to write this email, I typed “daily emails” into Google. And I subscribed to a bunch of newsletters I had never heard of before:

– Uptown Messenger (about where to buy drugs in New York City?)
– the Skimm (possibly about the milk industry)
– PRSUIT (of missing vowels)
– Londonist (about things to do in London, where I don’t live)
– and something called “A Season of Grief,” which apparently sends you inspiring daily emails to help you cope with a death in the family

I can’t wait. I’ll keep you updated. But before you go, there’s one more:

#6. Your recommendation.

Do you follow any newsletters (daily or not) that you actually enjoy reading? (Besides mine, of course.)

If you do, please let me know.

This is not just an engagement tactic. I’m planning on putting together a weekly (not daily) newsletter about email marketing soon.

So you’d be helping me out. And I’d give you due credit in the first edition of that upcoming newsletter.

Just click here, and if you’ve got a hit tip for me, send me the juice.

The Warren Beatty strategy for seducing copywriting clients

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“Women are like a jar of olives. You can eat one, close it up. Or you can eat them all.”
— Warren Beatty

I recently read some statistics about the sex life of Warren Beatty.

The man lost his virginity at age 20.

And then, he became a Hollywood star.

Over the next 35 years, he supposedly slept with almost 13,000 women, according to the best estimates of his biographer, Peter Biskind.

That averages to a new woman every day.

Almost certainly not true. Even Beatty himself has denied the claim.

However, he has over the decades been associated with a lot of famous women, including Melanie Griffith, Darryl Hannah, Jane Fonda, Vivien Leigh, Madonna, Carly Simon, Goldie Hawn, Barbara Streisand…

Oh, and Joan Collins, who said Beatty was “so pretty but just TOO exhausting in the bedroom.”

Mind you, all those women knew about each other. In other words, Beatty’s playboy background didn’t hurt. It helped. ​​

Anyways, now that you have that in mind, I want to tell you something related that might help your copywriting career.

I am currently negotiating a project with a client that I’ve done some smaller work for.

If this comes through, it will be the biggest single project I have had to date.

But the interesting thing is how I got this client.

About a year ago, I wrote him a cold email to introduce myself.

“Sounds interesting,” he replied. “I will keep you in mind.”

And he did.

He first hired me for a single project around December, then again for something in April, then a few small things earlier this summer. And now, here we are.

And here’s the thing.

I’ve sent the same cold email to several other leads.

They haven’t hired me yet. But they have all gotten back to me very quickly, with an almost identical response.

“Sounds interesting. I will keep you in mind.”

So what was the cold email? Well, if you’d like to find that out, you can get it inside my shamelessly promiscuous A-List Zone. For more information:

https://bejakovic.com/alist-zone

A natural path to heavier testicles

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The first time I got my testosterone levels tested was in 2012.

They came back normal. Even healthy.

I wasn’t pleased.

Because back then, I wasn’t feeling particularly normal or healthy.

I was 32 at the time, but I had less interest in sex than when I was 9 years old.

I wasn’t sleeping very well, and most days I was as tired as a used towel.

And though I did my squats and deadlifts and even hip thrusters, I wasn’t getting much stronger or more muscular.

So regardless of the reassuring lab results, I kept worrying about my testosterone levels. And I kept getting them tested, until predictably, I got one result that said — LOW.

“I knew it!” I said triumphantly.

And I set off on a multi-year crusade to get my already-normal testosterone levels back to normal.

So I loaded up on the grass-fed butter and vitamin A…

I made sure to avoid handling receipts, because, you know, CHEMICALS…

And I constantly scoured the Internet for supplements from the mountains of Peru or the jungles of Cambodia that had some bro science claims about improving your manliness.

Unfortunately, nothing changed.

My testosterone levels stayed mainly normal (“Lies!”) and I didn’t feel much progress in practical terms (“I don’t understand, you want to come over to my place tonight? To watch a movie? Why?”)

There was no saving me. I slowly resigned myself to a life of undiagnosed low testosterone levels.

And then, while browsing a science magazine at lunch, I came across an intriguing medical study:

“YOGURT INCREASES TESTICULAR WEIGHT”

It turns out some scientists, at MIT no less, fed a bunch of undersexed male mice a yogurt made with a specific strain of probiotics.

Result?

Shinier mouse fur.

Lower mouse inflammation.

Heavier mouse testicles (yes, they killed the mice and cut off their testicles and put the testicles on a mice-testicle-sized scale).

And finally: more mouse testosterone!

Now, I bring all this up for two reasons.

First, because, while a caricature, it is all true. The probiotic strain in question is called Lactobacillus reuteri ATCC 6475. ​​A bit of googling will quickly lead you to the MIT study, as well as to a recipe for making your own L. reuteri yogurt (which tastes delicious, and, you know, works, at least in my experience).

But the other reason has to do with copywriting.

Because this post uses the same basic skeleton as an advertorial I wrote recently.

It’s a good skeleton for introducing a new product, particularly one that’s got some science behind it.

If you look over this post, you can probably glean this skeleton easily with your X-ray vision.

But if you cannot, then you will want to read my upcoming book on advertorials, where I will go over this particularly skeleton in detail, along with other go-to skeletons I’ve used for advertorials.

You can sign up here to get notified when I finish and release this book:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/