A chilling Christmas card from the FTC

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Maybe you’ve already heard about Operation Income Illusion. It’s the FTC’s latest action, and it started earlier this month — just in time for Christmas.

The FTC filed lawsuits against five different companies. Among these is Raging Bull, a big and successful player in the financial publishing space.

​​Raging Bull got a restraining order prohibiting it from doing any more marketing… and it had its assets frozen.

So what exactly did Raging Bull to draw the eye of the FTC? From the FTC site:

“The defendants claimed in their pitches that consumers don’t need a lot of time, money, or experience, and that the global coronavirus pandemic represents a great time to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to learn their secret trading techniques, claiming in one ad that the pandemic ‘…might be the most exciting opportunity in decades!’ The defendants also made claims like ‘Learn how you could DOUBLE or TRIPLE your account in One Week!'”

Errr…

That sounds a lot like the VSL I just finished writing for a real estate investing opportunity. So I find this whole Income Illusion thing a bit chilling.

Because from what I’ve seen in the past, when the FTC goes after a direct marketing company, that company is probably doing something really shady.

But the FTC took issue with Raging Bull over pretty standard direct marketing practices. Making big claims… using the most flattering testimonials… appealing to people’s greed and sloth.

I have no idea where this will go in the future. Maybe the lawsuit will be dismissed… maybe it won’t, but Raging Bull will somehow beat it… maybe it will be a one-time action by the FTC to set an example, without broader consequences. Or maybe it’s a sign of things to come.

In any case, it’s something to keep an eye on.

Now here’s an unrelated pitch, also in time for Christmas:

I’m launching a weekly email newsletter about travel during corona (“…the most exciting opportunity in decades!'”). The first issue will go out tomorrow, right on Christmas Day. If you’re interested, you can sign up at the link below:

https://masksonaplane.com/

When authority and urgency fail…

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Yesterday, I wrote about a remarkable piece of persuasion:

Assassination survivor Alexei Navalny cold called one of the secret service officers behind the assassination attempt.

Navalny used some standard persuasion tricks to get the secret service officer to reveal all sorts of behind-the-curtain info during a 50-minute call.

So how about those persuasion tricks?

There were some obvious things. First, there were the trappings of authority.

Navalny called from a spoofed phone number, which made it seem he was inside the secret service headquarters. He claimed to be an aide to a high-ranking security official. And he seemed to have a lot of insider knowledge — such as names of people possibly involved in the assassination attempt.

So that’s one thing.

The second thing was urgency. Navalny, in his assumed alter ego, insisted this needed to be done here and now, because the big boss was waiting.

But that wasn’t enough. The guy on the other end of the line didn’t budge in spite of the authority or the urgency.

If you read the transcript — available online — you can hear the secret service officer dodging Navalny’s questions. “I don’t have this information… why don’t you call this other guy… I am at home with coronavirus.”

So how did Navalny finally get the secret service guy to break down?

Simple. He said the following:

“Let me help you. On a scale from 1 to 10, how do you assess Alexandrov’s work? I understand that he is your colleague, but nevertheless…”

The secret service guy said, “I assess him positively.”

Navalny then asked a few more 1-10 questions.

​​The secret service guy answered.

And then Navalny started asking more probing questions. As I told you, he finished some 50 minutes later, having squeezed the secret service guy for a lot of classified, inside information.

The technical term for what happened to the secret service agent is commitment.

You get somebody to commit to a small thing… and they will be more likely to commit to a big thing after.

It’s like a big and heavy chain sitting on a massive ship. The chain is way to heavy for you to lift and toss overboard. But if you start just one or two links down the side of the ship… then the whole thing might uncoil and come hurtling down into the water.

That’s commitment. It’s how you can persuade people to do crazy things.

The Navalny story is one example of it. But there are plenty more, all around you. It’s why the headline and the lead of a sales letter are so important… it’s why a customer who paid you $5 will be more likely to buy a $1000 course than somebody who never gave you any money… and it’s why people who have been burned on a get-rich-quick scheme will get burned on a second and a third.

​So what’s my takeaway for you?

Nothing. I’m just glad you read this email all the way to the end. By the way, would you like to subscribe to my email newsletter for more content like this? If yes, here’s where to go.

Spy thriller persuasion in the real world

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It sounds like a scene out of a Jason Bourne movie:

A man survives a near-fatal assassination attempt. After months of recovery, he decides to figure out exactly who was responsible and how and why.

Being rather clever, he has a hunch of where to start. So he picks up the phone, and starts going down a list of secret service agents who have been trailing him for years.

He calls the first person on the list. No response.

He calls the second person, and introduces himself using a fake name.

There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “I know exactly who you are,” the other man finally says. Click.

The assassination survivor calls the third name on the list.

“Hello?”

“Konstantin Borisovich?”

“Yes, yes!”

“This is Ustinov Maxim Sergeevich, aide to Nikolay Platonovich Patrushev. I received your number from Vladimir Mikhailovich Bogdanov. I apologise for the early hour, but I urgently require 10 minutes of your time.”

“All right.”

50 minutes later, the assassination survivor has milked the secret service agent for the names and methods and dates behind the failed assassination.

Like I said, it sounds like something you would see in a movie. But it was real, and it happened only last week. The assassination survivor was Alexei Navalny, a leading Russian opposition politician, who was poisoned on a plane back in September.

All in all, this was a pretty spectacular piece of persuasion and social engineering. To put it in context, just ask yourself:

How would you go about tricking a trained secret service agent to open up and reveal secret assassination stuff to you on an unsecured line?

It might surprise you that Navalny did it through standard persuasion techniques. Stuff that’s straight out of Robert Cialdini’s Influence.

I won’t list all the techniques Navalny used. But if you like, I will write about one of them in more detail tomorrow. It’s how Navalny finally got poor Konstantin Borisovich to break down and open up… and it also underlies all of direct marketing.

If you’d like to read tomorrow’s article, you might like to subscribe to my email newsletter.

Hidden gold inside crap online properties

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Last week, I wrote about about my plans to start rehabbing distressed online properties. To which a reader named Josh wrote:

“It seems like the only enduring ‘property’ aspect of a ‘web property’ is its rank on the Googles. The other aspects — web design, copywriting, product development, etc. — are all ‘disposable’ parts in the sense that an underperforming site will likely need a clean sheet in those areas.”

Actually, I can think of a half dozen “gold” assets that a crap online business can have. Each can be worth many times what you pay for that business.

I shared three specific such assets with my email subscribers. But even if you have no interest in flipping blogs and online stores… this is something you should think about.

Because if you have a business, chances are you have too unused assets.  Don’t leave those assets unused, and don’t wait for a hostile private equity takeover. As Jay Abraham says, get everything you can out of all you’ve got.

But what if you got no business? What if you’re a lowly copywriter looking for work?

In that case, your chances of getting hired (or rehired) are much better if you know a bit about marketing.

Like Dan Kennedy said in that quote I shared a few days ago… you don’t need to be brilliant. Just know enough to pull out some hidden value from your clients current business… and you will look like a genius.

But maybe you’re wondering what gold assets a crap business could possibly have. Like I said, I only shared this with my email subscribers. If you’d like to get on my email newsletter, here’s where to go.

Welcome to the Jung

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After a month and a half in an empty coast town, I’m back in a city. So I put a note in my phone to write today’s post with the headline “Welcome to the jungle.” But my phone thought different. It changed it to “Welcome to the Jung” instead. Let’s see where that goes.

I recently read an article about psychologist Carl Jung. In his later days, Jung believed the universe is full of meaningful coincidences. He called this synchronicity. He gave an example:

During a therapy session, one of Jung’s patients was talking about her dream. She dreamt a golden beetle. Right then, Jung looked out his office window and spotted a golden beetle. Synchronicity.

Maybe you’re like me, and you don’t think the universe cares what you think or you do. Or that it’s sending you coded messages. Or setting up golden beetles to thrill and surprise you.

Even so, you can get a lot of use from taking chance events and running with them.

For example, some of my favorite creators — people like Brian Eno, David Lynch, Philip K. Dick — made randomness a key part of their work.

Philip K. Dick wrote The Man in the High Castle using I Ching divination. He used it to figure out where the plot should go.

David Lynch was shooting the pilot to Twin Peaks when a set dresser accidentally got in the frame. Lynch decided not to throw the take away. Instead he kept the set dresser in the show and made him the main villain, Bob.

And Brian Eno has a whole system for adding randomness to his work. It’s a set of cards called Oblique Strategies. You draw a card at random, and it gives you a hint about how to move forward with your project.

So here’s what I want to leave you with:

If you ever worry you won’t come up with good ideas, take the pressure off yourself.

Integrate some randomness into your process, and adapt. You will come up with better ideas than you could if you just lock your brain away in a room and tell it to work.

In other words, Jung’s synchronicity might not be real — but you can make it so.

Now how’s this for terms:

You can subscribe to my email newsletter. If you like the first email I send you, keep going. Otherwise, unsubscribe right then and there. If you like those terms, click here to try my emails out.

My first ever copywriting job

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Today I paid somebody $25 to photoshop a corona mask onto a picture of Samuel L. Jackson.

Now I’m no Jack the Photoshopper, but this doesn’t sound like a tremendous task. And $25 for it seems neither a little nor a lot.

The interesting thing is this all happened on Fiverr. That’s where I got my start in copywriting, back when Obamas still roamed the West Wing. My first job was a 7-part autoresponder sequence, Andre Chaperon-style, about an ebook on disciplining your cat.

I had no trouble getting work on Fiverr. But back then, the default was still $5 for a task. In spite of all the people hiring me, I couldn’t make that work. After 2-3 months, I moved on to Upwork.

If you’re a newbie freelancer and you have no other avenues for getting your first client, Fiverr might be a more viable option. If that’s what you want to do, how do you get started?

I shared 6 tips for succeeding on Fiverr with my email subscribers. These were based on my time on the platform, and I think they are pretty unique. Unfortunately, you missed that boat. But if you like, you can still subscribe to my email newsletter, so you don’t miss out again in the future.

A warning about success from an anti-establishment Jeremiah

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Andy Warhol said, “Always leave them wanting less.”

In that spirit, today I want to share a long quote with you. It comes from Jason Leister, who is a copywriter and used to write about dealing with freelancing clients… but has now become an anti-establishment Jeremiah, all the way down to renouncing his American citizenship.

Anyways, the following quote from Jason felt like a warning to me. I want to pass on the warning to you too, in case you deal with clients or customers, or you expect to one day:

There’s the “success” that leads to more work for more money.

Then there’s the “success” that leads to less work for more money.

If your business is currently structured so that more “success” simply leads to more work, then ask yourself if that’s the right direction for you. If it’s not, figure out a way to change that sooner than later.

Does that leave you wanting less? Or more?

If more, then you might like to subscribe to my email newsletter. It arrives every day and many people find it overwhelming.

 

In the land of the warm-bathers, the November swimmer is a hero

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One morning in late November, I decided to go swimming in the sea. I got to the shore, stripped down to my swimming panties, and started to hop on the cold stones towards the water.

An old woman walking her dog stopped to watch, mouth agape.

“You’re going in?” she asked.

“I am,” I said.

“But it’s cold!”

“We will see.”

I got in the water, swam a minute or two, and got out. The old woman was still there. She was thrilled I had survived. “You are a hero!” she shouted, clapping her hands.

I shrugged it off. “It was nothing.”

It really was nothing. The water wasn’t cold at all. It was probably warmer than the Pacific Ocean in California gets in July. Only the locals in this country, who refuse to get in the sea unless the sun has brought it to a low boil, could crown me a hero for going for a swim now.

Which connects to something I read today in a Dan Kennedy sales letter. The sales letter is selling a course on how to become a more successful copywriter.

At one point of this sales letter, Dan gives the reader reasons NOT to buy his course. One reason he gives is that you really don’t have the chops to do decent work, and to deserve a decent wage. In that case, Dan says, maybe you should stick to only the smallest clients, and only the most limited projects.

Has that thought ever crossed your mind? If it has, I want to leave you with what Dan writes next:

“You should remember copywriter John Francis Tighe’s favorite admonition: in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. You need only know more than the client and enough to produce results he could not get on his own. You do not need to know more than every copywriter, most copywriters. If that governed, there’d never be more than one working copywriter, period.”

Check it:

If you want regular copywriting tips, which occasionally touch on the business of copy, you might like my email newsletter.

Gimmick positioning

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The Schmo and The Pro is a series of YouTube video interviews.

The Pro in this case is a professional mixed martial artist, usually signed to the UFC.

The Schmo is the interviewer. He’s a youngish guy, wearing BluBlocker sunglasses… dressed in a patterned Hugh Hefner-style blazer…. and sporting a Zangief haircut.

When the Schmo asks his well-researched and reasonable questions, he bares his teeth. He twists his face out of shape. He makes claw-hand gestures.

It’s an example of gimmick positioning. In other words, a Mickey Mouse coat hanger to hang your product/service/hat off.

Stupid right? Why would anyone want to humiliate themselves by hiding behind a gimmick?

Well, how about a million dollars:

Copywriter Will Ward recently turned me on to the story of Blue Kirby. It’s some anonymous guy’s Twitter handle.

All summer long, Blue Kirby posted memes related to a crypto project, creating a ton of hype.

A few months later, Blue Kirby cashed in on the hype and disappeared. Along with about a million dollars’ worth of ethereum in his digital pocket.

Now it’s possible this could have been done by just some guy using his real name, say, Jesse McAverage.

But my gut feeling is the Blue Kirby gimmick was instrumental in the attention this guy got… and the million dollar bubble he was able to create.

In case I have your attention now, maybe you’re wondering how somebody — not you, of course — might go about creating a gimmick for himself.

Well… I shared a few ideas about this with my Bejakomaniacs. That’s the name I’ve just coined for subscribers to my email newsletter, following the example of Hulk Hogan. If you too would like to be in the rank of Bejakomaniacs, so you get all my positioning ideas, here’s where to go.

Obnoxious writing, or, the harsh mathematics of direct response

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Amazing. Free. New. Breakthrough.

Fascinating. Shocking. Secret.

Now.

I’ve started keeping a list of highly inflammatory direct response words.

You can see some of them above. There’s no sense in me sharing the rest. Everybody who is in this business has to pluck these words up for him or hoyself. And then comes the hard part:

You have to actually use them.

I say “hard part” because chances are you are a little like me.

Maybe you find typical direct response writing obnoxious.

Maybe you say, I would never read this, much less buy this “easy genius opportunity.”

Maybe you think you can be the one to talk to people modestly and simply… and convince them with your earnest speech to listen.

Maybe you can.

I certainly cannot.

After years of writing copy for money, the harsh mathematics of direct response is slowly dawning on me.

A typical sales letter goes out to thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions of people.

If only 98 out of 100 of those people look at your sales letter and say, “Ugh”… then you’ve done good, as long as the remaining 2 buy.

And if a measly 95 out of each 100 people think your writing is obnoxious and repulsive… while those remaining 5 didn’t notice, because you put them in a drooling trance… then you’ve got a ticket to ride.

Speaking of repulsive, maybe that’s what you should focus on the next time you write copy.

​​Rather than trying to appease people who are offended by ugly, hard-hitting, direct response copy… maybe you should actively aim to drive them away. Because as marketer Ben Settle reports:

“In fact, I have found the more I repel the people I don’t want, the more I automatically turn on the people I do. And the more I do this, the more my sales go up. The less I do it, the less my sales go up.”

In closing:

I have an email newsletter. If you are just looking for “swipes,” then subscribing to my newsletter won’t do you any good. Save yourself the effort. However, if you are a business owner who wants to hear what’s working now, at least with the clients I work with… or if you are a copywriter who is interested in those genius secrets of the business… then you may get some value out of it. Here’s where to go to subscribe.