A devious and cynical way to open up new markets

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“A woman’s arm! Poets have sung of it, great artists have painted its beauty. It should be the daintiest, sweetest thing in the world. And yet, unfortunately, it isn’t always.”

After James Webb Young wrote those lines in 1919, women in his social circle stopped talking to him.

Even his female copywriter colleagues gave him dirty looks.

Young was working for the J. Walter Thompson advertising agency. His task was to promote the first-ever antiperspirant, Odorono.

Young’s first crack at this account was a fairly standard ad. It attacked the popular belief that an antiperspirant is dangerous stuff.

Sales limped upwards, and then flattened.

A subsequent door-to-door survey revealed that women knew about Odorono. But only one third used it. Two thirds believed they didn’t need it.

So Young wrote another ad. The headline read, “Within The Curve of a Woman’s Arm.”

It was this ad that got him those dirty looks.

It also made Young’s career… it doubled sales of Odororno (which eventually became a million-dollar company, back in 1920s money)… and it made millions of women newly self-conscious.

The point of all this is the power of tying in what you’re selling to people’s insecurities.

Genuine insecurities.

Because today it’s enough to say, “Bad BO?”

But back in 1920, you couldn’t do that. Women smell-tested themselves. They smelled fine.

That’s why Young had to create a problem. He took the idea of perspiration… and he tied it to being undesirable — and clueless about it.

Devious? Yes.

Cynical? Absolutely.

Profitable? Like a mother.

And something to keep in mind, if you too are in the business of opening new markets.

(By the way, in case you think this is another example of horrible double standards for women… Men got their own deodorant, starting in 1935. Before then, man-musk was considered a good thing. So how did advertisers sell the American man on demusking himself? They did the same damn thing. They tied it to the possibility of stinking up the office… and the emasculation of being fired.)

One final point:

If you like cynical and devious ideas, you might like my daily email newsletter. Click here to subscribe.

How to write slowly

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“In ten hours a day you have time to fall twice as far behind your commitments as in five hours a day.”
— Isaac Asimov

It took me about two hours to finish this post.

I didn’t spend most of that time writing. Instead, I looked over notes for topics I meant to cover but didn’t… I read articles searching for inspiration… I picked up and then put down a book.

The trouble of course was that I had a large block of free time today.

I finished with client work some time earlier… I have a client call later tonight. In between, the only thing I have to do is to write this daily post.

Hence, two hours. To write about 300 words. You might know this as Parkinson’s Law:

“Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.”

It’s a problem in my life. And it’s one of the reasons I’ve decided to overbook myself with work — about three times the usual amount — for the coming month.

Because according to marketer Ben Settle, writing lots of words under intense deadline pressure will make you a faster writer. Permanently.

I’ll let you know how it works out. (Although there’s no need to wait for me. It’s something you can try yourself right now.)

Anyways, I’ve long collected copywriters’ advice on how to write faster.

So far, I’ve got direct “how to write fast” tips from Ben Settle (above), Dan Ferrari, David Deutsch, Colin Theriot, and a few others. I’ve also connected some ideas I read from people like Gary Halbert and Gary Bencivenga to the topic of writing faster.

So here’s my offer:

If these tips interest you, sign up for my daily email newsletter. If I share this complete collection of tips, that’s the first place it will go.

The coming brand marketing rapture

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When I first found out about direct response marketing, I felt enlightened.

I’d chuckle when I saw businesses trying to impress with their branding. “Where are the benefits?” I’d ask. “Tell me what’s in it for me!”

I’d shake my head. They obviously hadn’t A/B tested their message.

A big eye-opener came a year or so later (I was still very much a newb). I got sucked in by an ad to plop down $5 for a free + shipping offer:

Frank Kern’s book Convert.

In Convert, Frank revealed the secret to his massive success in Internet marketing. It was precisely that he created a brand around himself… rather than selling nameless benefit-based offers.

So this was brand marketing and direct response marketing… melded together.

Interesting.

And it keeps getting more interesting still.

Because in the past week, I’ve seen two successful direct marketers (Brian Kurtz and Ben Settle) say some pretty apocalyptic stuff. They admitted they don’t track much of what they do… and that, while their marketing should always “pay,” the currency doesn’t have to be sales, clicks, or opens.

In other words, these two masters of direct response seem to be dropping their bread-and-butter… and getting back into the horrible, laughable, ineffective world of brand marketing.

I think more direct response businesses will be making this switch in the years to come.

One reason is that people like Brian and Ben prove it’s possible. Both of them make good money. And they make it seem enjoyable.

But there’s more.

Because in a connected world full of free ways to reach your prospects, it’s hard to know what really created the sale. Was it your slick sales letter? Or was it when the prospect heard you interviewed by his favorite trusted authority?

A big business like Agora can handle both branding and direct response. But many businesses can only do so much. And I suspect some direct response outfits will find their time is better spent creating great offers and making those podcast rounds… rather than tweaking their copy and optimizing their funnels.

And like I said, it might be more enjoyable. Because direct response marketing can get pretty obnoxious, and even bad for your own mental health. I’ll reveal the shocking truth about that is in just a moment, but first…

Let me make it clear I’m not predicting the end of direct response. There will still be straight-up DR businesses… and there will be demand for direct response copywriters.

But I prophesy there will be a rapture. For every two direct response businesses in the field… the one will stay as is… the other will be taken up into brand marketing heaven. And maybe, if you start to prepare now, that business can be yours — assuming that’s what you want.

That’s what I’m trying to do. And that’s why I’m writing posts like this, day after day, for over two years now. They haven’t paid off yet… but maybe they will.

Anyways, if you want to sign up to get my posts by email each day, click here and subscribe to my newsletter.

“Reach the maximum limits of your full potential market”

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“This is exactly how I ended up having to get stitches for the first and only time in my life.”

This spring, I had to sell a knife-sharpening gizmo. It was faster, cheaper, and easier to use than a whetstone.

But who cares?

There’s tiny demand for knife-sharpening gizmos of any kind, and it’s unlikely that many people will be swayed by a feature comparison.

What I needed to do was to expand the universe… to take it out of the small space of people who are looking for a better (or any) knife sharpener… and into the much bigger world of people who use kitchen knives but never give a thought to sharpening them.

So what to do?

I ended up telling a story involving a dull chef’s knife, a green bell pepper, and a cut that required four stitches. I created a problem in the reader’s mind where there wasn’t one.

“Dull knife? Yeah, I really don’t care.”

“Sliced-open finger? Geez, what can I do to make sure this won’t happen to me?”

In general, you don’t want to sell to people who are indifferent to the problem you claim to solve.

The only reason you ever would want to do this… is because you are very greedy. Because in most markets, the segment of indifferent prospects dwarfs the knife-sharpener connoisseurs. As Gene Schwartz wrote in Breakthrough Advertising:

“What do you have left [after you can’t talk about your product]? Your market, of course! And the distinct possibility that by broadening your appeal beyond price, product function or specific desire, you can reach the maximum limits of your full potential market; consolidate splinter appeals; and increase the sales of your product at a fantastic rate.”

That’s all on the topic of indifference for today…

Except, I want to ask if you consider yourself a marketing high-flier?

Because a lot of marketing high-fliers are joining my email newsletter these days. If you want to find out why, click here and try it for yourself.

How to make hard decisions with the “fluff minimization” framework

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“The framework I found, which made the decision incredibly easy, was what I called — what only a nerd would call — a ‘regret minimization’ framework. So I wanted to project myself forward to age 80. Now I’m looking back on my life. I want to have minimized the number of regrets I have. I knew that when I was 80, I was not going to regret having tried this.”
— Jeff Bezos, speaking about his decision to start Amazon.com

One of the books that shaped my self-image the most is called Stumbling On Happiness.

I read it in my mid 20s. It made me trust myself even less than I had before then.

The book was written by Daniel Gilbert, a psychologist at Harvard. The gist of it, as I remember, is this:

1) Human beings are terrible at predicting the future. We can’t predict what will happen, and we can’t even predict how we will feel if certain things do happen.

2) Human beings are terrible at remembering the past. To protect our current identity, we will warp our memories, forget unflattering things, and even invent stuff that never happened.

In other words, the kind of “regret minimization” fluff that Jeff Bezos talks about might motivate you…

It might even help you make a decision…

But will it be a good decision?

Will your vague and ghost-like projection of your future, cranky, and forgetful self… trying to sift among his warped memories of decades earlier…

Will he tell you anything useful?

Not in my world.

That’s what I want to suggest to you, too. Look elsewhere for help with making decisions.

For example, look at the third leg of Daniel Gilbert’s book. It might help you if you are trying to make a big, hard decision.

Gilbert’s advice is to talk to people who are currently going through what you want to go through. Ask them the reality of their lives now. ​​That’s the only hope you have of getting an honest answer… and minimizing all the motivational, inspirational, self-serving fluff.

Regarding fluff:

Project yourself into the future. No more than a day in the future.

Will your future self enjoy receiving an email from me?

Or will your future self regret not signing up for my daily email newsletter?

In case that exercise made your decision easy… and you want to see what my daily emails are like, click here to subscribe.

Lost in translation

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“You can no longer function as a man.”

“When I came in to open up one morning, there you were, with your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting.”

“You’re weak, you’re out of control, and you’ve become an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.”

These are some of the great lines from a drug intervention scene in The Sopranos. Soon after that last line, a fight breaks out, and the interventionists end up kicking the drug addict in the ribs while he’s on the ground.

Of course, that’s not how an intervention is supposed to go.

The theory is that, when one person tries to persuade you, there’s always a translation problem. In other words, your brain is always asking:

“What is this goon really trying to say, and why is he saying it to me?”

That’s why interventions are supposed to work. Multiple people, shouting the same message, make it more likely that the message will get through.

But what if you don’t have the luxury of marshaling multiple people to kick your prospect in the ribs?

What if you only get one kick? How do you convince somebody who’s perfectly ok as is… that he’s got a problem and it’s time to get help?

I’ve got some ideas about this. In fact, I’ve shared them in previous editions of my daily newsletter. Ideas such as:

A) Showing your prospect how his indifference is not really his choice.

B) Using open-ended questions to get your prospect to paint a vision of his own horrible future for himself.

C) Working backwards from an outcome your prospect wants to avoid (that HE wants – not that you think he should want), and showing him why he’s currently headed there.

But I’m a sucker for lost causes, and that includes convincing people who don’t want to be convinced. And I’m always looking for more ways to get around the translation problem.

If this is something that interests you… and you want a report on what I find… you can sign up for my daily email newsletter by clicking here.

Woody Allen and Mark Ford walk into a library together…

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“I don’t enjoy reading,” Woody Allen said once in an interview. “But it’s necessary for a writer, so I have to do it.”

Preach, Woody.

I’ve always found reading is one of those things I do out of responsibility, not enjoyment.

But do you really have to read to be a successful writer? Or at least a successful copywriter?

I don’t know. But I heard two expert copywriters talking today. And their opinion seems to be yes.

The two copywriters in question were John Forde and Mark Ford. You might know them as the two guys who wrote the book Great Leads, which is up there with Cialdini’s Influence and Gene Schwartz’s Breakthrough Advertising as elementary education for a copywriter.

So John asked Mark, where do you get your big ideas from?

Reading, said Mark.

Not by swiping what worked before. Not by intuition. Not by some magic spark of creativity.

Instead, Mark reads. And when something makes him excited and interested, he takes note, and he uses that idea, in some form, in his own writing.

Which might sound pretty simple. Or even cheap. But hold on. Because here’s a second tip from the same interview:

Mark says Googled reading won’t lead you to a big idea. You’ve got to read books.

Yes, it’s work. Maybe even unenjoyable work. But so what? Read lots of books, carefully, and you can make lots of money as a result. And as Woody Allen will tell you:

“Money is not everything, but it is better than having one’s health.”

But here’s what not to do:

Don’t read my daily email newsletter. It won’t lead to your next big idea. And it’s not enjoyable.

If you don’t believe me, or you want to judge for yourself what my daily emails are like, then click here.

All that clients really want

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During a bus ride today between two Balkan superpowers, I was surprised to see the bus driver roll down his window, take out a pack of Marlboro’s, and light one. He smoked his cigarette and then tossed the butt out the window.

When a car on the road wasn’t driving fast enough, the bus driver started tailgating. He cursed and talked to himself at full volume. Once he could pass, he honked at the other car for five seconds to show his disgust.

But neither of those made me nervous. What did make me nervous was when the driver took out his phone and started texting at 60 mph. Every so often, he looked up to course correct as the bus listed on the highway to the left or the right.

And yet, nothing bad happened. No crash. No run-over animals or people. We even made it pretty much on time, after you factor in the extra half hour at the border for everyone to get corona throat-swabbed.

If I ever have to make the same trip again… I guess I might go with the same company. After all, they got me to my destination, and they got me there on time.

Maybe you see where this is going.

A couple days ago, I saw a question online about the “ideal copywriter.” If copywriting clients could create their ideal copywriting provider… how would that look?

This brought to mind something I heard A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos say. According to Parris, clients only want three things from a copywriter:

1. He should get results
2. He should deliver copy on time
3. He should be pleasant to work with

If you have all three of these, you’re golden. But two of the three is good enough, says Parris. You just gotta be “damn strong” in those other two.

“Sure,” your client might say, “he did come into our office cursing and smoking. He did insult the secretary and put out his cigarette on our carpet. But he also actually got us the copy in time… and it made us good money. I guess we will hire him again.”

Now if you don’t deliver your copy on time, I’m afraid I can’t help you.

But if all you’re missing is knowledge of how to get results with your copy, then my daily email newsletter might be what you need. It’s all about lessons in copywriting and persuasion, coming from legendary pros like Parris, filtered through my own experience. If you’d like to try it out, click here to sign up.

Beware “win-win-win”

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The hair stands up on the back of my neck whenever I hear the phrase “win-win-win.” And I’ve hearing it more and more often.

“It’s a real win-win-win situation…”​​

I guess that’s how markets evolve. First we had “win-win,” as in, “win-win negotiation.” Once that became old hat, marketers had to crank it up — hence the rise of “win-win-win.”

The reason I am wary of this phrase is because I’ve read Jim Camp’s negotiation book Start with No. And one of Camp’s big enemies is win-win. That’s just a clever name, Camp says, for fear- and compromise-based negotiation.

According to Camp, win-win negotiation is not principled… it’s not in your best interest… and if somebody is pushing it on you, you’re about to get flayed alive.

But maybe you think this is crazy. Maybe you think that “win-win” is great, and that “win-win-win” is even better. So here’s a quote by one very famous and successful copywriter, John Carlton:

Nearly every biz transaction is an inherently hostile situation.

Behind the smiles and back-slapping and promises of “working for the common good” between, say, a freelancer (or consultant) and a client…

… the freelancer actually wants to do as little work as possible for the maximum possible money…

… while the client wants to bleed every ounce of productivity from the writer for the least outlay of cash.

John uses the terms “veiled teeth-baring” and “primal snarling dance” to describe the reality of business interactions.

That’s certainly one way to do it. But I don’t think it’s the only way.

And if you want to know how to handle business situations in a way that’s neither snarling nor based in fear, then Camp’s book is worth a read. Or two. Or three.

Or you can just subscribe to my daily email newsletter. I’m no Jim Camp. But I’ve read his stuff, and it’s near to my heart. And while my newsletter is mainly about marketing and persuasions, sometimes I also write about the business of copy.

Maybe that doesn’t appeal to you. But in the odd case that it does, you can subscribe to get my emails by clicking here.

Heartbroken boy turns ecommerce vigilante

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“This dog seat belt was created by a grieving dog owner…
He was heartbroken after his best friend didn’t recover…
‘Rosco was in the back seat when we had a serious car crash’
So he decided to join a star product designer…
To create a revolutionary car safety device for dogs…
This is the story of Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox”

A short while ago, I wrote about a Facebook ad format that’s working right now for selling ecommerce products.

The ad consists of stock footage video clips, overlaid with subtitles that tell a story.

But what story?

Well, for the stuff my client sells… it’s an, ahem, invented founder story. You can see the start of one above.

But here’s the thing. These are not just any founders. These are superhero founders. I mean that seriously.

For example, the ad above is channeling Batman — somebody with a crushing personal tragedy… delivering vigilante justice. (The real ad didn’t use Bruce Wayne as the name.)

I’ve also seen other advertisers channel:

1) Iron Man (“This Japanese billionaire marshaled his immense engineering skill and industrial resources to create a really comfortable pillow”)

2) Spider-Man (“This precocious-yet-typical teenager set out to save the world by inventing a silicone kitchen sponge”)

3) The Hulk (“This mild-mannered but brilliant scientist was transformed by an explosion and now MUST SMASH FREEZER BURN”)

My point is twofold:

First, if you’re selling stuff on Facebook, these superhero video ads are worth a try.

Second, whatever copy you’re writing (or having others write), it is always worth going back to story archetypes. ​​If a story template has proven itself decade after decade, century after century, odds are good you can use it to sell more dog seat belt – or whatever your vigilante justice leads you to sell.

Want more exciting coming book storylines for your marketing? You might like my daily email newsletter. Click here to subscribe.