Hidden razor blades as a powerful marketing angle

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Here’s the scary lead from an influential New York Times story, titled “Those Treats May Be Tricks,” which ran Oct. 28, 1970:

Those Halloween goodies that children collect this weekend on their rounds of ‘trick‐or‐treating’ may bring them more horror than happiness.

Take, for example, that plump red apple that Junior gets from a kindly old woman down the block. It may have a razor blade hidden inside. The chocolate “candy” bar may be a laxative, the bubble gum may be sprinkled with lye, the pop corn balls may be coated with camphor, the candy may turn out to be packets containing sleeping pills.

According to social scientists who study this sort of thing, this story played a big part in creating the “poisoned candy” myth that eventually swept the country.

Then and now, no kids were ever actually injured from tampered Halloween candy given by strangers.

Yes, there were some cases of candy tampering. But those were all by adults looking to get financial compensation, or by kids looking for attention. Everything else was purely made up.

Even so…

What parent today would let their kid accept an apple from a stranger — without wondering if there’s a razor blade inside?

One big reason for this are people like journalists and politicians.

I’ve heard them described as “availability entrepreneurs.” They make it a business to have scary images (like hidden razor blades) available to the public mind.

Maybe you think that’s terrible and fake newsish.

In that case, you’re a better person than me.

Because when I hear “availability entrepreneur,” I think “marketing angle.”

If somebody like the NY Times is going to all the trouble of stirring up paranoia in the public, I figure I might as well ride on their coattails a bit.

Think climate change… The immigration crisis… Gluten intolerance… School shootings… Zika 2019 (or whatever this year’s epidemic is)… The evils of Facebook.

With a bit of thought, and by picking a side for or against these highly available ideas, you should be able to get a lot of powerful, free marketing support.

And if you want, you can even use it to sell a solid, helpful product, which makes the world a better place.

If that’s what you’re doing, and you want some specific examples of how to make your marketing better by tying into the latest available trend, then check out the following:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The “1-2 punch in the gut” and other proven sales letter ideas

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Here’s a bit of a copywriting history lesson:

The great Gary Halbert was famous for a lot of things, including his “grabber” letters.

That’s when he would include a physical tchotchke — a dollar bill, a coin, a little bag of sand — at the top of his sales letter.

It seems old Gary got this idea from a much older master of direct marketing named Robert Collier.

I’ve mentioned Robert Collier before for his insight that “it is not the copy that counts so much as the scheme back of it.” In other words, the idea behind the letter is more important than the words you use.

The “grabber” is one example of that. Here are a few more, taken from the Robert Collier Letter Book, a classic on effective direct response and sales copywriting:

#1. The one-two punch in the gut

This is when you simply hit readers with benefits. For example, when selling shirts through the mail, Collier would emphasize that his shirts were 1) cheaper and 2) fit better and were of higher quality, because he could cut out the middleman and stock more designs and sizes.

#2. A common infomercial appeal, made more convincing

Every infomercial ever barks at you to buy “while supplies last.” Collier used this same scarcity appeal, except he would make it more convincing — by giving a legitimate reason why he had only limited stock. Example: “We’ve only got 1000 of these books because that’s all the estate of the author would allow us to print.”

#3. “The most effective appeal ever”

According to Collier, the most effective sales appeal was telling buyers that the price is going up. This could also be tied into “while supplies last.” And of course, it’s all the more effective if you can give people legitimate reasons for why the price is going up, rather than simply claiming it.

#4. The fire sale

​With various offers and various letters, Collier would explain a super-duper discount by saying he was selling slightly damaged goods, or leftover inventory that didn’t justify a full marketing effort. In other words, he’d give people a legitimate reason WHY a sale is happening, rather than just discounting the price.

#5. The Ben Franklin

Simple: ask buyers for a favor. “Would you mind looking at this new bag we’re considering selling? And could you let me know what you think before the season starts so we know whether to sell it or not? And if you like it, I’ll let you keep it for a special, low, introductory price.”

#6. The grabber

That’s the idea Gary Halbert swiped from Collier. Collier himself attached dollar bills, but he also included samples of cloth (when selling socks or coats) or even samples of the product itself (when selling fake pearls).

#7. The Kaiser Wilhelm lead

This is a simple current affairs tie-in. Collier used these extensively to sell books. For example, talking about the fate of Kaiser Wilhelm at the the end of WWI in order to sell world history books. Today, the equivalent might be to use the latest Trump outrage to sell earnest textbooks about psychology.

So that’s 7 Robert Collier “schemes back of the copy.” Of course, Collier had a bunch more of these.

In case you want to find them all, his book is definitely worth a read-through.

The only issue is that many of the copies of his book (including Kindle versions) are shoddy OCR scans with terrible spelling mistakes and horrendous formatting. They almost make it impossible to read the great content inside.

Occasionally, quality used copies become available, and they can sell for $100 or more.

But I just checked on Amazon, and 4 used copies of the paperback version of the Robert Collier Letter Book are available right now for around $20 each.

They probably won’t last long at this price… so better act while supplies last. If you want to grab one for yourself, here’s the link:

https://amzn.to/2JrYzs6

John Bejakovic

How to flip the trickiest question that copywriting clients ask

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“I have a little rule about killing people. Well, actually I have two rules. One, I do not date musicians, And two, I do not kill people, ok?”
Playboy Playmate Jordan Tate, Under Siege (1992)

I’m currently talking to a very successful direct response copywriter. I’m considering hiring him as a coach to help me get to that top level myself.

He had me answer some questions in preparation for an intro call, including:

“Why should I work with you? What sets you apart from other copywriters?”

How the turn tables. Because this tricky question is something that copywriting clients used to ask me as well.

In my less experienced days, I would have tried my darndest to answer in a persuasive way.

“I’m smart…”

“I work hard…”

“I’m good at writing copy…”

That’s what I would have said once upon a time. But not any more.

Now I don’t say much at all.

​​It’s not any kind of a tactic. I’ve just come to realize that I really don’t know why (or even if) I would be a good fit for somebody I hardly know.

But shouldn’t I try to answer anyhow?​​

My experience is that by trying to answer, I just end up sharing a lot of pointless information that the other person doesn’t care about — but that puts doubts and objections into their mind.

It’s kind of like the Playboy Playmate in the Steven Seagal classic Under Siege. She says she won’t date musicians, while Steven is off fighting a bunch of Uzi-wielding terrorists. Nobody cares, muffin.

Speaking of Steven Seagal, though…

He offers a good model of how to actually respond to this tricky type of screening question.

Simply use the other person’s energy and aikido-flip it.

So for example, when the copywriting coach above asked me why he should work with me, I told him:

“I honestly don’t know. I’d say I’m dedicated and coachable, but that’s probably everyone you talk to. That’s why I’d like to first find out who does well with your coaching? And who doesn’t? And who do you like to work with?”

This same kind of principled approach can help you with prospective copywriting clients as well.

Anyways, enough Under Siege for today.

If you are a copywriter, then you might want to know that the CopyHour enrollment window is currently open. This is your opportunity to learn Steven Seagal-like skills, just wielding persuasion instead of a knife. Check it out:

http://copyhour.com/

The story behind my first successful sales letter

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A couple of years after I started copywriting, I got the chance to write my first full-blown video sales letter.

This was for a product called The Kidney Disease Solution.

At that time, The Kidney Disease Solution had already been available on Clickbank for around 10 years, and it was a top-50 Clickbank product. My job was to rewrite the front-end VSL to make it less hypey — and yet to increase sales.

An impossible order?

Not at all. In fact, it was fairly straightforward. The VSL I wrote increased sales by 30% while removing all the typical “Clickbanky” hype. It only took two ingredients:

1) An emphasis on proof

2) A solid, proven structure for the sales letter itself

The first ingredient wasn’t hard to come by. Duncan Capicchiano, the guy behind The Kidney Disease Solution, had hundreds of almost-miraculous success stories from people who had followed his program. Plus, he had a legit background as a practicing naturopath, and he had done everything he could to make the program itself useful and complete.

But what about the structure?

I was still fairly green as a copywriter, so I reached for the most successful VSL I knew of:

Mike Geary’s Truth About Abs, written by Jon Benson.

I knew this VSL well because I had copied it out by hand several months earlier. I did this while following along on the sidelines with a course called CopyHour.

Derek Johanson, the guy who runs CopyHour, finds successful sales letter (like the Truth About Abs VSL).

He then sends the copy to you to actually copy out by hand, one sales letter each day, for 60 days.

And then he gets on a video call to explain all the fine points of what you just copied, and why it works.

It’s a solid (and proven) way to get much better at writing copy, and to do so quickly.

The thing is, you can’t join CopyHour most of the time. Because of the “live” nature of the course, Derek only opens it up for enrollment a few times a year.

Right now is one of those times. So in case you’re new to copywriting and you want to get better quickly, CopyHour might be worth a  look while enrollment is open. If you’re interested, here’s the link:

http://copyhour.com/

The 2019 Nobel Prize in email marketing

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Two years ago, a bunch of smart guys got the Nobel Prize for discovering how the circadian rhythm works.

As you might know, that’s our body’s internal clock.

It’s what keeps you awake during the day, sleepy at night, and in a zombie state after you change time zones.

These scientists wanted to figure out how this happens.

They found that there’s a protein that builds up in our cells during the night…

And gets depleted during the day.

It’s kind of like an hourglass. During the night the sand gets put in at the top, and during the day it runs out. When it runs out, you’re knocked out.

This is pretty similar to the classical view of email marketing.

“You don’t want to mail sales pitches too frequently,” the conventional argument goes. “If you do, you’ll deplete your ‘goodwill hourglass’ and people on your list will unsubscribe.” It sounds reasonable, just like the circadian rhythm story.

But it’s contradicted by a new discovery.

Just look at the work of email scientists like Matt Furey, Ben Settle, and Travis Sago.

Their attitude is not, “How often can I sell something to my list?”

Instead, they focus on selling something every day — and having their list love them for it.

It’s a super powerful change in perspective.

Worthy of a Nobel Prize in email marketing.

If you have an email list, then this “sell every day” approach opens up grand vistas of untapped profits.

And if done right, it also creates better, longer-lasting relationships with your customers and your audience.

But this won’t be much use to you unless you have an email list. Filled with people who are in your target market. And hungry for what you sell.

There are lots of ways to build such a list. If you want to know a fast way, here’s one option:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

An important reminder for clingy copywriters

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A few days ago, I got carried away.

A potential new client contacted me. “Would you like to write daily emails for us?” he asked.

“Sure I would,” I said. “And I’d like to do more than that for you.”

Then I threw in a kitchen-sinkful of copywriting and marketing services I could provide along with the daily emails. The problem was that at this early stage, I didn’t really know what this client’s actual needs are. In other words, I was pitching instead of selling, as Ben Settle puts it.

Normally, I don’t get this needy or clingy.

But sometimes, it gets away from me.

A few days after this happened, I read something related by direct response copywriter Jason Leister.

I think it’s an important reminder for all copywriters, including myself, who can get carried away when a great new opportunity appears on the horizon. Jason writes:

“Over the years, I’ve come to hire clients very slowly. If you work with clients, consider hiring them SLOWLY. (You are hiring them, remember that. You’re in the driver’s seat of your business, not anyone else. They’ve got the “money” but you have the thing for which they are willing to part with that money. Money is everywhere, YOU are not.)”

Jason then describes what this means practically in his business.

I think it’s worthwhile reading for all freelance copywriters.

If you want to read Jason’s complete email including the practical bits, simply write me and I can forward it to you. Or you can head over to Jason’s site, where he publishes his daily emails with a few days’ delay. Here’s the link:

https://incomparableexpert.org/dailyjournal/

The foolish tale of two cities

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Today I am in Bucharest, the 1.8-million-soul capital of Romania.

From what I’ve seen so far, Bucharest is the same as every other place.

The same Irish pubs. The same kebab shops. The same escape rooms.

Yes, it’s a bit more run down. A bit cheaper. And free of the hordes of beautiful women who plague other eastern European destinations.

But otherwise, it’s the same. Which makes me not want to travel any more. At least here.

Not that I have a special gripe against Bucharest.

Last year, I was in Minsk, the capital of Belarus.

Minsk is NOT the same as everywhere else.

There are very few if any bars or restaurants. The locals are polite but not interested in dealing with foreigners. The main attractions are large socialist monuments, which you can see in a day and a half. All of which makes me not want to travel to Minsk again, either.

Maybe you think I’m just a spoiled tourist. And you’re probably right. But I bring these two cities up to illustrate a marketing point.

Lots of gurus out there advise one of two things:

1) Be yourself and find your quirky and unique voice, or

2) Follow a proven marketing process, and just fill in the blanks

It’s almost always one or the other. Either you need to be doggedly unique… Or you need to follow a proven, cookie-cutter approach.

I think this is foolish.

It’s the marketing equivalent of Minsk and Bucharest, both cities that are unlikely to draw a lot of my repeat tourist business.

The answer, at least as I see it, is you need both.

You need to have your own unique ideas and voice…

And you need to follow a marketing approach that’s been proven to work for many other people.

Maybe you already do this.

If so, good on ya.

But maybe you need some help to make your business the hot attraction that you know it can be. In that case, here’s one place to start your marketing efforts:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

The Flipper shortcut to getting rich on the Internet

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When I was around 8 or 9, one of the rare American TV shows we used to get was Flipper.

Flipper is a dolphin. He’s got a couple of kids for friends and they all get into trouble together.

Such as for example, in the episode of the white dolphin:

Flipper’s been missing for a few days. The kids are worried. Flipper finally shows up, and he signals through clicking and chortling that the kids should follow.

It turns out a handsome but unscrupulous local fisherman, wearing a striped pirate shirt, has been trying to net a rare white dolphin.

Long story short, the kids convince the fisherman to leave the white dolphin alone.

But the real twist comes at the end, when it turns out the white dolphin is a female — and Flipper and she have made a baby dolphin together.

Which begs the question… When?

After all, Flipper’s only been gone a few days. Could he have seduced the white dolphiness and knocked her up in such a short time?

Must be.

And this reminded me of something I heard from Internet marketer Travis Sago.

“How do idiots get rich?” Travis asks.

How do they swoop into established markets — without credibility, without building relationships, without tons of free content — and make massive sales right away?

The answer, according to Travis, is that they have the right offer for that marketplace.

If you have the right offer, you don’t need kung fu copywriting, intricate sales funnels, or lots of wooing.

In fact, with the right offer, you should be able to make the sale with a description sent in a Notepad file.

So if you are wondering how idiots are getting rich even though they aren’t as deserving as you, think like smooth Flipper, and look at the offers you’re making.

And now I have a smooth offer to make you. But it won’t make me rich. To find out what I have in mind, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

Shame on Stansberry Research

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“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once… Shame on… Shame on you? You fool me… Can’t get fooled again.”
— President George W. Bush

Some time around 2011, financial publisher Stansberry Research ran a monster direct marketing promotion.

It was called the End of America.

The gist was that the US government is too deep in debt and our entire way of life will come crashing down soon.

Stansberry ran this campaign everywhere and made many millions of dollars as a result.

It’s now 2019.

(Happy 3rd of July to all you patriots.)

The end still hasn’t come.

And like Dubya says above, fool me once… can’t get fooled again.

Well, maybe not. Because Stansberry Research is at it again. They are running another promotion right now called the American Jubilee. From what I can tell, it’s the End of America all over again, except tied into “socialism.” And you know what?

It’s selling.

In spite of that old Texas/Tennessee saying, Americans all over the country seem ready for more predictions of imminent national collapse.

And who knows? Maybe folks buy these predictions because they smell blood on the wind.

If the end really is coming, I know how I’m gonna prepare.

I’ll keep investing in myself…

Figuring out how I can help other people succeed so I can profit from their success…

And being a slightly less grumpy person to deal with.

These are the only ways that are guaranteed to keep me alive and plump, before and after the Apocalypse.

Maybe you don’t agree with me. But maybe you do. And if you too are looking to help others succeed so you can profit, then this might help you get started:

https://bejakovic.com/advertorials/

How to profit from bizarre Florida crimes

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A Florida man (who else) was arrested on Sunday in what is being called a “McDonald’s condiment attack.”

The man was staying at a Tampa motel with his girlfriend.

When the gf brought back the wrong order from McDonald’s, the man allegedly grew angry and struck her with plastic containers of McDonald’s “Sweet ‘n Sour” dipping sauce “in the head and face area.”

He’s been charged with a felony, since he was convicted in April of battering the same girlfriend at another motel.

There are a lot more details to this bizarre story, which you could use to tie this news item into just about any sales pitch. But that’s not my goal for today.

Instead, I just want to give you a checklist of spots to look for such stories, as well as a few examples of how to turn them into profitable emails or blog posts. Here goes:

#1 The Smoking Gun

I only discovered this one recently but it seems to have been pumping out bizarre tabloid news for decades. The front page only has a few stories at a time, and they don’t change often. But the ones that do appear are gold. It’s where I got the condiment attack story above.

#2 The Daily Mail

This English rag mainly has celebrity gossip, and trashy sunbed-tanned British celebrities at that. In between, they sometimes run bizarre stories with lots of interesting details. Such as the story that I developed into Severed ear fills a gaping hole for UK landscaper.

#3 Morbidology

This is a true crime blog. It features in-depth posts about rapes, murders, abductions, disappearances, unsolved mysteries, and gruesome events. Sample story: “The Death of a Nazi” (about a father who raised his son in a neo-Nazi stronghold and was later shot by the kid).

#4 Takimag

Takimag appears to be a kind of high-level Chateau Heartiste: racist, misogynist, and funny. I don’t endorse the views but I read it for a jolt. It’s where I got the inspiration for The bland conspiracy behind the Great Awokening.

#5 The New York Post

This the American version of The Daily Mail. It’s got lots of political outrage and celebrity gossip, but occasionally also something genuinely bizarre. Such as for example, the gem that lead to my post Overweight passenger forces flight attendants to wipe his butt.

#6 Quilette

This site seems to be a right-wing intellectual sinkhole. Lots of earnest hand-wringing. But also an occasional interesting and provocative story. It’s where I got the hook for my Naked yoga for lonely, bearded old men post.

So now you know where to get your fix of bizarre stories. Which you can throw, almost verbatim, into your daily emails. Or into your advertorials. And if you want to see some examples of advertorials that kick of with similarly bizarre stories, then check out the following: