Caesar’s gruesome message that only few will want to hear

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In 75 BC, a group of pirates in the Aegean sea captured a 25-year-old Roman noble named Julius Caesar.

Caesar was neither scared nor impressed. When the pirates demanded 20 talents of silver for his release, Caesar put his hands on his hips and spat on the ground.

“Morons!” he said. “Don’t you know who you’re dealing with? Ask for at least 50 talents!”

The pirates should have taken heed at this point. Instead, they got greedy. They took up the 50 talent offer.

Caesar’s men left for a few weeks to collect the silver.

Meanwhile, Caesar settled in among the pirates. Not really as their captive. More as their demanding, moody leader.

He gambled with the pirates. He shushed them when he wanted to take a nap. He read his poetry to them and mocked them as illiterates when they weren’t adequately impressed.

Oh, and every so often, he also threatened to crucify them.

“Tee-hee,” sniggered his new pirate friends. “Sure, JC. You will ‘crucify’ us!”

After 38 days, the ransom arrived. 50 talents of silver, as promised.

The pirates released Caesar. Bad move.

The newly free Caesar went to the next island over, a place where he had no authority or influence. And he raised a small army.

He sailed after the pirates. He captured them. And as he said he would, he had them crucified. For leniency, he first had their throats cut.

When I was a kid — I guess like most boys — I imagined I would grow up into a kind of Caesar.

Fearless, moody, throwing down impossible threats that aroused mockery at first but that I then turned into frightening reality, against all odds.

Well, it didn’t turn out that way.

I’ve found I’m very unable to mold the world to my conscious will. Hell, like I wrote yesterday, I’ve never even niched down with any success.

I was a “cold email copywriter” for a bit during my first year freelancing… then an “alternative health email copywriter” for a while… and a “crypto conversion copywriter” for another… and all I really got to show for it was a bunch of wasted time and missed opportunities.

I’m not telling you not to specialize. I’m not telling you to set goals or to strive towards them.

All I really want to say is if you read stories like the one above, and then set your mind to glory… only to watch with horror as your own results fail to match up with that of Caesar… well, there is still hope.

Caesar once wrote it’s “easier to find men who will volunteer to die, than to find those who are willing to endure pain with patience.”

That’s a little too gruesome to use as a motivational message at the end of a daily email.

But it does speak a fundamental human truth, one you can profit from. Because our brains love to think in instances of flashy glory.

But that’s not how the world works. All I’m saying is this:

We’re all too obsessed with modeling what successful people do today that they are successful. Those are the instances of flashy glory.

There might be more value in modelling how these people got successful in the first place. But let me stop here — before I ruin a perfectly good and gory email with some mushy inspirational stuff. I believe you can draw your own conclusions if you like. And if you want more gory, maybe inspirational stuff, sign up here.

Wanted: Specialist digital marketers (risque niche)

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Amberly Rothfield ended up homeless at age 18. So she found a job working a phone sex line.

Phone sex paid $15 an hour, three times the minimum wage in Texas at the time.

Still, it didn’t take much math to realize her employers were alienating 95% of her breathy labor into profits for themselves.

But Rothfield is entrepreneurial. She found an online platform that catered to phone sex freelancers.

She set up a profile, and by working on her SEO and thumbnails and specializing as a female dominatrix (“calling guys losers, cuckolding, and blackmail fantasies”), she became the top account on the site.

She was now making between $600 and $900 a day.

But all that was still nothing compared to what was to come.

Because in 2016, OnlyFans launched. It spread like wildfire. Within just a few years, an estimated 10.2 billion women created accounts on the site.

But Rothfield had something better in mind.

She was already a digital sex success. And she realized she could use her experience to help other women get better exposure for their breasts. So she became an OnlyFans marketing consultant.

Result?

Today, Rothfield is booked solid for months in advance, giving advice on topics like positioning, pricing, and sales funnels.

Unsexy? Yes. But she makes about a half million dollars a year.

Take a moment. Let the astronomical significance of that settle in.

Because how many digital marketing consultants are out there? More than the stars in the sky.

And how many of those myriad consultants are booked months in advance and make a half million dollars a year? About as few as the stars you can see above New York City on a typical night.

So what’s the conclusion?

Well, I guess there are many lessons you could draw from the story of Amberly Rothstein.

One possible lesson is the value of specialization.

And if you’ve been itching to find a shortcut to success and specialization seems appealing, then you’ll be glad to know that as I’ve been writing this email, another 100 million OnlyFans accounts have been created, and they all could use some marketing and copywriting help.

Maybe you’re wondering if I’ll also be jumping on this OnlyFans opportunity and creating competition for you.

The answer is no. Not because I have any particular problem with the niche. Or because I am particularly committed to some other niche.

Rather, it’s because the few times I tried consciously specializing during my copywriting career, it all came to naught. And personally, I feel I’ve learned my lesson. If you’re curious about that, then baby, ooooh, we can talk all about that tomorrow… yeah… at just $4.95/minute.

Just kidding. It will be free. But really tomorrow. Sign up here if you don’t want to miss my sexy call.

An easy way to produce interesting content without being creative or original

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I’m wrapping up a week dominated by high fever and much cat napping, which means one thing:

My mind is empty and not in good shape to write my daily email.

“Wouldn’t it be nice,” I thought to myself, “if there were some easy way to create content that doesn’t require coming up with a new email idea?”

​​Of course, I respect your time, dear reader, so whatever this easy way is, the result would still have to be interesting and valuable.

So there I was, burning feverishly, when almost by accident, I remembered a blog post by Colin Theriot.

You might know Colin as the creator of the popular Cult of Copy Facebook group. ​​​What you might not know is that Colin regularly publishes articles on his site, and they are often interesting and motivational.

Well, a while back, Colin wrote something that was perfect for me.

It’s a way of producing content that doesn’t require you to say anything new or original, but still builds a good relationship with your audience, and gives them value, too. In fact, it’s probably the easiest way to create content. And yet, some big name influencers out there have created giant brands by doing this one thing alone.

Colin’s post explains it nicely and simply. I think it’s worth looking at. If you want to give it a peek, here’s the link:

https://cultofcopy.com/creation-and-innovation-are-not-the-only-way-to-provide-value/

How to win an argument by not really trying

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About 20 years ago, when I first read Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, I came across a clever aphorism.

“You cannot win an argument,” wrote Carnegie.

That’s stuck with me ever since, even though it goes against my argumentative nature. The fact is, I like to debate and argue and show people how I’m right and how they aren’t.

Except, like Carnegie says, you cannot really win. You cannot argue people over to your way of thinking. And even if you do get them to admit that you’re right and they’re wrong, you’ve gained nothing except their hatred.

So most of the time, when I find I’m about to let the debating crow out of its cage, I bite my tongue and I stuff the ugly black bird back where it belongs. I smile. I nod. And I think to myself, “Boy, how wrong you are. But you won’t hear it from me.”

This is an improvement over losing friends and alienating people. But it’s hardly a creative and productive way to deal with new ideas.

There’s gotta be something better, right?

Of course. It’s just that I wasn’t clever enough to think of it myself. But I came across this better way to win arguments in an interview with billionaire investor Howard Marks.

Marks was asked what early advice helped him become so successful. He said there wasn’t any investing advice that did it.

Instead, it was just an attitude, and he’s not sure where he picked it up. He illustrated it by describing how he deals with his longtime business partner:

“Each of us is open to the other’s ideas. When we have an intellectual discussion, neither of us puts a great emphasis on winning. We want to get to the right answer. We have enormous respect for each other, which I think is the key. When he says something, a position different from mine, my first reaction is not, ‘How can I diffuse that? How can I beat that? How can I prove he’s wrong?’ My first reaction is to say, ‘Hey, what can I get from that? What can I take away? Is he right? Maybe he’s right and I was wrong.'”

“Yeah, yeah,” I hear you saying. “Enough with the high-sounding billionaire lessons. Why don’t you get off your preachy pony and give me some ideas for how I could money? Like today?”

Well I never… the ingratitude!

Honestly, this intellectual humility thing was my idea for you to make money. But you are right. It might take some time to bear fruit.

If you want to make money today, then I don’t have much advice to give you. Well, none except what I wrote up a few years ago and put inside my Upwork book.

“Upwork!” you now say. “I’ve tried it! It doesn’t work. It’s a cesspool.”

You may be completely right. I certainly won’t argue with you.

But if you want to see what I have to say about success on Upwork, and what you might be able to take away from it and maybe even make money from, today, then here is my Upwork book, still available for some uncertain time on Amazon:

https://bejakovic.com/upwork

The copywriting commandment top copywriters all violate

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“You’re on ten on your guitar… where can you go from there? Where?”

You probably know what I’m talking about. It’s a famous historical record:

Documentary filmmaker Marty DiBergi is interviewing rock guitarist Nigel Tufnel.

Nigel is showing off his equipment room. His most prized guitars, and his special amplifier. It doesn’t go up to 10, like most amplifiers. It goes up to 11. One louder than 10.

“Why don’t you just make 10 louder and make 10 be the top number,” Marty asks, “and make that a little louder?”

Nigel stares at his prized up-to-11 amp. The only thing moving is his jaw as he works on his chewing gum. The cigarette in his hand is slowly burning down.

“These go to 11,” he finally says.

Like I said, you probably know this scene, or at least the catch phrase, “These go to 11.” It first appeared in 1984’s mockumentary This is Spinal Tap, and become an undying cultural meme.

One thing I did not know until today is that all the dialogue in This is Spinal Tap was improvised. This includes the “up to 11 line” above.

But it makes sense. Because one thing I did know, even before today, is that Christopher Guest is one of the most talented and naturally funny actors in all of entertainmentdom.

Guest acted, sang, and played guitar as Nigel Tufnel in This Is Spinal Tap. He also directed and wrote Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman. He even played the soft-spoken but sadistic Count Rugen in The Princess Bride.

But all of that is nothing. Not compared to how Christopher Guest sounds in real life. Because the man is naturally funny.

For example, he was interviewed on Charlie Rose some 15 years ago.

He was sparkling and subtle in almost every second of the live interview.

Charlie Rose: You go back to the same actors frequently?
Christopher Guest: I have to. [pause] It’s a tax thing.​​​

That’s rare.

Because most comedians, even the ones I love the best, are a big disappointment when they have to improvise.

They don’t have the same delivery.

They don’t have good punchlines.

They are simply not very funny, especially when compared to their stage or movie persona.

And this is yet another connection between the world of comedy and the world of sales copywriting. Because one of the biggest and most sacred sales copy commandments is:

“Write like you talk!”

Sure, this is good advice for people who are terrified of writing.

Or for those who are used to writing in a nonsense, corporate tone (“Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion…”)

But “write like you talk” is not something that top copywriters actually do themselves.

Don’t believe me?

Go on YouTube and find some video of Gary Halbert speaking. See how slow and ponderous the man was. It’s nothing like the crisp, funny, energetic writing in his newsletter.

And that’s not a coincidence.

Top copywriters make their copy more than “just how they talk.”

I won’t give away the secrets of the trade here.

Suffice to say that most copywriters, just like most comedians, simply aren’t that persuasive or funny in real life.

We’re not all Christopher Guest, unfortunately.

Fortunately, there is a simple fix. It’s called hard work and unrelenting toil.

In other words, if you’re not naturally an incredible storyteller or an irresistible salesman, you can still write top-level copy. Something that reads well… even though it’s not true to life. In the words of Christopher Guest himself:

“In real life, people fumble their words. They repeat themselves and stare blankly off into space and don’t listen properly to what other people are saying. I find that kind of speech fascinating but screenwriters never write dialogue like that because it doesn’t look good on the page.”

If you’d like to read more about the connections between copywriting and comedy, check out my daily newsletter. It’s a topic I write about on occasion. You can sign up here.

Out of office and Carlton’s self-programming trick

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I finished up this morning’s Zoom call and then I tiptoed back to bed, snuck in, and started shivering under three layers of blankets.

There were two things I wanted to get done today. The Zoom call was one. And I managed to get it done, in spite of being sick with some unidentified illness.

I’m telling you this in case you’ve written me in the past few days and haven’t gotten a response. It’s because I’ve pared down what I’m doing to the absolute essentials.

I also wanted to share a little psychological hack I learned from John Carlton. Carlton writes:

Gary Halbert used to buy himself watches, or cameras, or even boats (preferably used wooden craft requiring thousands in maintenance, but that’s another story) whenever he finished a big gig. As a reward for a job well done.

I’ve always rewarded myself with free time (as in taking the phone off the hook for an entire week, or splitting to hang with friends).

It doesn’t matter what, precisely, the reward is (as long as it’s meaningful to you)… but the ACT of rewarding yourself fires up the motivation part of your unconscious brain.

You might think it’s silly to connect Carlton’s watches-and-sailboats advice to my situation today.

So be it.

But I don’t think I could have pulled myself together for the call had I scheduled more work for myself right after, and had I not promised myself that shivery, four-hour nap as a reward.

But anyways. Here’s an email-writing tip. Wrap up what you’ve been talking about by giving your reader a takeaway he can use today. So here it is, in Carlton’s words:

Fastest path to burnout is to finish a grueling gig, clear the desk, and then start the next grueling gig.

What the hell are you thinking, you’re Superman?

Decompress, go shop for a goodie, teach your brain to associate end-of-job with fun rewards.

Main key: The reward cannot be something you’d buy or do anyway. It has to be pure excessive nonsense (like Halbert’s 14th watch or 3rd boat) that delights your Inner Kid.

Last point:

If you’d like to read me repurposing and curating famous copywriters good ideas, consider signing up to my email newsletter.

Do you ignore emails with the word “secret” in the subject line?

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Dear probationer,

It happened to a direct response entrepreneur whose name has become synonymous with success, power, and wealth.

Early in his career, he had to write an important sales letter. But he was completely blocked for a good hook.

In a last minute act of desperation, he drove down to the Library of Congress.

There he managed to track down a copy of an ancient, highly successful sales letter he had heard about years earlier. And he adapted the hook for his own letter.

Result? His letter tripled response over the control, and stayed unbeatable for over five years…

And the point of my story is this. There is a lot of value in old sales letters if you start to dig around in them.

I like to dig around in old sales letters. And today, I want to share a complimentary copy of one such letter with you.

But before I do that, I’d like to ask permission to see if you’ll get anything out of the letter that I share. To find out what kind of marketer or copywriter you are. To get some idea whether clicking on the link below will be something you enjoy or not.

And so right in this email, you’ll find a short psychological quiz. Answer the questions truthfully, and then I’ll give you an interpretation based on your results. Ready? Here goes:

1. Have you read John Caples’s Tested Advertising Methods (any edition)?

2. Have you watched two or more comedy specials in the last year?

3. Do you check your spam folder often and even read emails that clearly are spam?

4. Do you have a place in your home or office where you save classic ads you’ve hand copied?

5. Do you harbor private doubts about the marketing mantra, “If they pay, they pay attention?”

6. Do you ever prefer reading transcripts of podcasts or videos to actually watching or listening?

Interpretation: generally, the more questions you answered with “yes,” the more value you will get from seeing the sales letter at the link below.

What I’ve learned is that you’re somewhat curious (you check your spam folder). You’re also systematic about getting better at copywriting (hand copying ads and even saving the result).

You value surprise (watching multiple comedy specials). You’re also a reader (preferring transcripts on occasion). You value deep, proven information, even if it’s not trendy (the Caples book).

In short, you are a person who values insight and who is highly dedicated to getting better at your craft. Moreover, the fact that you’ve allowed yourself to be tested shows a coachable, adaptable personality.

My test also shows you value information for its own sake (the “if they pay…” mantra). And that’s why you are likely to value what you will find at the link below.

It’s a short sales letter — only 4 pages. But it illustrates very powerful techniques of influence. Techniques which will only become more relevant in the coming years.

“Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt,” said Shakespeare’s Lucio circa 1604. Oh Lucio, that thou wert alive now and could attempt to click the link below. What insights! What involvement devices! What deep psychology!

https://bejakovic.com/psychology

Welcome to Horneytown

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First, a warning:

Today’s email contains several dirty, obscene, lewd — and I’m afraid to say this — even French names. I see no other way to make an otherwise important point. If this upsets you, I suggest you stop reading now.

But if you’re still with me, here are some real places with unusual names:

* Blue Ball and Intercourse, Pennsylvania
* Eggs and Bacon Bay, Tasmania
* Pee Pee, Ohio
* Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands
* Y, France
* Pett Bottom, England
* Whorehouse Meadow, Oregon

I’ll tell you in a moment where I’m going with this.

But first, let me tell you how I found all this out. It was in a book called “Welcome to Horneytown, North Carolina, Population: 15.” I spent the last 40 or so minutes reading it.

It was my email yesterday that did it. It mentioned the town of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. I saw the name again today when going over replies I got to my email from yesterday. This led me to the Horneytown book — as well as a surprise.

Because I’d known about Truth or Consequences for years. I even made plans once to travel there with a girl I’d chatted up one evening when I was feeling uncharacteristically outgoing.

But all these years, I assumed Truth or Consequences started out as some fundamentalist Wild West community. Fear of God and the Bible, let any stray cowboy riding into town know exactly what he’s getting into, that type of thing.

But no. Truth or Consequences was founded in 1930. It was originally called Hot Springs. It renamed itself in 1950 after a popular radio show as a publicity stunt.

I could keep going on about this. But I once heard A-list copywriter Parris Lampropolous share a valuable lesson he himself learned from A-list copywriter and entrepreneur Mark Ford.

Mark advises copywriters NOT to go on for more than a page about the same thing. Page, page and a half max.

Then Mark advises you to say, “I’ll tell you more about that in a moment, but first…” And then hit them with something new.

Perhaps you wonder what this has to do with obscene, unusual, and French place names. In that case, perhaps today’s email deserves a closer reading. And so do some of my other emails.

Because this page, page-and-a-half-max thing is so important that I try to respect it in each email I write these days. Only, expectations are different in emails than in sales letters. A page and a half in an email is too long to talk about the same thing. I’ll explain why in just a bit, but first…

The opportunity of the lucrative lead gen business

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Today I’d like to suggest you are not really in the business you think you are in. Or at least you shouldn’t be. Here’s what I mean:

A few days ago, I flew Turkish Airlines. I was pleased to see they offer free WiFi on board. Well, free in exchange for signing up for their frequent flyer program, Miles&Smiles.

Miles&Smiles. No doubt.

Because I found out today that frequent flyer programs are really the heart of how airlines make money.

For example, Delta’s frequent flyer program is worth $26 billion, according to an estimate last year by the Financial Times. At the time of that estimate, all of Delta as a company was worth $19 billion.

Did you catch that math? Let me break it down, step by step.

Delta is not really in the business of getting you from Tulsa to Truth or Consequences. That part of Delta — planes, stewardesses, Bloody Mary’s — was worth -$7 billion last year. Yes, negative seven billion dollars.

Delta’s real business is doing lead gen for banks. Delta manufactures points. It sells these points to banks. The banks then use the points as incentives to get you to use their credit cards. That business is worth $26 billion.

Of course, Delta is not unique in this. Other large airlines work the same way. And it’s not just airlines either.

AAA and AARP offer low-cost membership programs in exchange for some nice perks and services. But how they really make money is lead gen for other industries. AARP was even started by an insurance company.

You could make the case that magazine and newspaper subscriptions are more of the same.

My point for you — well, I told you my point right at the start. So instead of beating a dead horse to water, let me just announce my new frequent reader loyalty program.

It’s called Insights&More.

Insights&More will offer rare behind-the-scenes footage of me, sitting in a cavernous Airbnb in Istanbul and writing this email.

It will also offer points, which you can trade in for mentorship, coaching, or sales funnel optimizations.

And finally, Insights&More will include free access to our suite of virtual lounges. Eat all the virtual croissants you like, and mingle with other classy and influential people who read these emails regularly.

Applications to become an inaugural member of Insights&More are being accepted now. Simply follow the instructions here and then let our customer service team know why you think you’d be a good candidate.

Oh. One last thing.

If you happen to own a bank or other large institution that profits from the hope and movement of human beings, get in touch. I have a business proposal I’d like to run by you. It could be beneficial for us both.

100,000 bad emails

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“I was a profound failure. Not really profound enough. I kind of slid in the middle of failure. Some of us were picturesque. I was just dull.”

Chuck Jones went to art college at age 15.

You might have heard of Chuck Jones before. He eventually became the Oscar-winning animator behind the best Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck cartoons… the creator of Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote… and the director of How The Grinch Stole Christmas.

But back at art college, Jones found everyone else was taller and could draw infinitely better than him.

He was dejected. One thing that helped him was a teacher who stepped in front of the whole class and said:

“Every one of you has 100,000 bad drawings in you. The sooner you get rid of them, the better it will be for everybody.”

This includes everybody who signed up for my Influential Emails training. They’ve all been getting emails from me. I want to know why they signed up, and what they hope to get out of it. One guy replied:

For me, the challenge is finding ideas that seem unrelated, connecting them to create insights and then communicate them in an intriguing way without sounding fake.

In all honesty, its to remove the fear of I don’t know what to write with the confidence that I have a process for figuring out exactly what to do.

I’ll talk about the specifics of my process inside Infuential Emails. But honestly, the comment above brilliantly lays out the gist of my process, in just one sentence. That’s all you need to get started. That, along with the Chuck Jones quote above to get over any lingering fear.

But wait, there’s more!

This is part of a bigger thing I’ve found in life.

Many times, if I’m faced with a brick wall in my path and I can’t see any way through it, I’ll take out a piece of paper. And I’ll start writing down my currently available ideas.

“#1. Bang head against wall. #2 Beat fists against wall. #3 Lie down and die. #4….” When I free up my brain of bad ideas that take me nowhere, I sometimes find good ideas underneath.

Do you remember the rejection game? It was a trendy thing some 10 years ago.

Each day the goal was to get somebody to tell you no. As soon as you did that, you succeeded. The point was to keep the streak going for as long as you could.

I tried it back then. It was surprisingly fun and liberating.

Because when you seek out and reward yourself for reaching what you normally avoid, you don’t just achieve more. You reframe what success means.

Did you find this informative and motivational? Are you ready to get going writing something yourself? If so, good.

But did you think I’ve written more coherent and interesting emails in the past, and that this isn’t among one of my standouts?

Even better. I’ve just gotten rid of another one of those 100,000 bad emails, and freed up my brain for something new and possibly amazing the next time I sit down to write. And you can do the same, starting today.