Dark and disturbing

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Today’s email is dark and disturbing. I mean it. Read at your own peril.

Many years ago, late one night, I was watching TV and I saw a fragment of a courtroom drama starring Robin Wright. (She also played Buttercup, if you’ve ever seen the Princess Bride.)

In the movie, Wright’s character is testifying against her violent and abusive ex-boyfriend. Even so, she is still in love with the guy. She even interprets his acts of violence as signs that he cares.

I’ll admit, this made me morbidly curious. It had a ring of truth to it. But after all, it was just a movie.

Then a couple days ago, I shared a Rolling Stone article about get-rich-quick master David Bendah. And while I was looking at that article, I saw something in the sidebar. The number 1 trending article on Rolling Stone right now:

“Marilyn Manson: The Monster Hiding in Plain Sight”

It’s same story as that movie I saw long ago. But it’s real — or at least that’s what many of the women Manson has been with claim, including in court.

One of Manson’s exes reports being locked in a cramped, soundproof space that Manson called the “Bad Girls’ Room.”

The first time it happened, she was screaming and kicking to be let out.

In time, she says, she learned to stop fighting, because Manson enjoyed her struggle.

In other words, this happened many times. This grown, independent woman was locked up in a soundproof closet space as punishment… she was humiliated and horrified… and she came back for more.

Another woman, actress Esme Bianco from Game of Thrones, claims Manson abused and raped her for 2 years.

The final straw, Bianco says, was when Manson started running around his all-black, meatlocker-cold West Hollywood apartment, smashing the walls with an axe, and screaming that she was “crowding him.”

2 years of rape and abuse. And it had to take an axe for a successful Hollywood actress to finally get out.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to blame the victims here.

I just think that looking at extremes in life shines a light on more everyday situations.

For example, how conflicted we all are.

There are bad situation in life. And yet, so many hooks, physical and mental, keep us from packing up and leaving.

There are also many possibly good future outcomes. And yet, so many hooks, physical and mental, keep us from moving towards these outcomes.

So that’s my takeaway for you.

Maybe there have been times when you’ve made people an amazing offer. And you couldn’t understand for the life of you why people weren’t running to take you up on it.

Well, there is the chance that your offer was not as amazing as you thought. Or maybe you botched the marketing.

But even if you get everything just perfect, only a few percent will ever respond to even the best offer.

Why?

Well, for reasons like this, the conflicts that exist in us, even in the most extreme situations.

And if you keep this dark and disturbing truth in mind, and find ways to address it, you might have a chance to sell — and maybe help — a lot more people.

Or not.

As another example, I have an offer for you. Marketing and copywriting and persuasion lessons… delivered to your inbox in small, fascinating packages, each day… all for free. Will you take me up on it? Well, I won’t be surprised if you don’t. But if you want to, here’s where to go.

The first frame is the worst frame

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I have a fish I’d like to sell you today. It’s not a freshly caught fish.

​​It’s actually been sitting around for 18 months. But trust me, this particular fish has hardly spoiled with time.

​​Today it’s just as tasty and nutritious, well almost, as it was 18 months ago, the day that it was caught.

So are you interested? How much would you pay for this fish?

A lot?

A little?

A negative amount? Would you actually pay me to keep this fish away from you?

One day last week, I got a newsletter email from a marketer. The email started off with something like, “I don’t have a lot of time today. So I’m resending a really good email that I wrote a long time ago.”

​​And then below that, there was the 18-month-old email, looking at me with its dead, clouded, fishy eyes.

Actually, I just assume that that’s how the old email was looking at me. I didn’t even check. As soon as I saw that intro about not having time and about resending an old email, I clicked away.

The point of my message today — the freshly caught fish I am actually trying to sell you — is not to say you should never reuse old emails.

My point is simply to be mindful of how you frame your message. Because often, the first frame that our minds jump to is the worst frame.

I’ve seen beginner freelance copywriters try to sell themselves. They do so by framing their message with an explanation of how they are new in the industry and how they have no experience.

I’ve seen business owners try to sell their products. They start off their sales letters by telling the unremarkable life story that brought them to the moment of sitting down to write that sales letter.

In all these cases — the re-warmed 18-month-old email, the self-defeating self-promotion, the boring and pointless sales letter — the problem is the natural human desire, or perhaps need, to explain ourselves.

Don’t explain yourself. Nobody cares. And it’s hurting your message.

Instead, think of how to frame your message so it has the best chance of influencing your reader.

Trumpet your own authority. Or soothe your reader’s ego. Or if you’re truly selling a fish that was caught 18 months ago, then say this thing is delicious and nutritious — and stop yourself there.

But enough fish-mongering. If you’d like to read my emails regularly, and see how I never apologize for the content I send, then sign up for my newsletter here.

The Prince of Get Rich Quick

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At age 23, David B. was flat broke and was waiting tables to make ends meet. Full of shame and unsatisfied ambition, he made a commitment to himself that by age 28 he would be worth $1M.

And sure enough, by age 27 1/2, David was worth over $1M.

By age 29, he was bringing in $6M a year, living in a mansion overlooking San Diego, and driving a big white Rolls Royce.

How did he do it?

Well, that’s the topic of a 1989 Rolling Stone article about David Bendah, titled The Prince of Get Rich Quick.

I’d never heard of David B. until a few days ago. But back in the 1980s he was apparently a big deal (hence the Rolling Stone story). He started a publishing business that was bringing in tens of millions a year selling get-rich-quick books.

Bendah eventually did land in jail, but that was only when greed got the better of him, and once he moved from selling get-rich info to running a full on envelope-stuffing scheme. (After all, why bother with a product when you can just sell your own marketing?)

The Rolling Stone article on Bendah is eye-opening and has many ideas that can make you rich or save you from losing it all (like Bendah). They are as relevant today as they were in 1989.

I won’t spell out all these many idea. There would be no point. Instead, I’ll give you just one:

“In all of Bendah’s books, the crucial step toward success is getting beyond ego problems, which he interprets as understanding and accepting who you are and what talents you have.”

I think Bendah’s advice is actually spot on. It just needs to be extended a bit further.

In Bendah’s case, his talents were obviously in the promotion of opportunities. And who he was was was a die-hard opportunity seeker in his own right – or at least that’s my interpretation of how he wound up in jail, even after having created a successful, multi-million-dollar business.

Your own talents and your own instinctive drives might be different from Bendah’s. But whatever you have inside you, it’s worth facing it honestly… using it for all it’s worth… but also keeping an eye on it, if it’s something that can get you in trouble.

Anyways, I once bounced around the idea of creating AIDA School — a classroom-style place to learn direct response copywriting.

​​That’s not gonna happen. But maybe one day I will create just the curriculum for AIDA School. And if I do, the David Bendah Rolling Stone article will go in, and will be required reading.

In case you’re curious about learning more about direct response copywriting and my future AIDA school curriculum… then sign up for my email newsletter, where I will talk more about both. And in case you want to read the David Bendah article now:

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/david-bendah-the-prince-of-get-rich-quick-52915/

 

Back to the Boardroom era?

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Last autumn, I was writing a few sales emails for an SEO agency. So I spent an hour on Google, trying to find stories of people who had been penalized, by Google, for doing shady SEO stuff.

And after an hour, I had little to nothing to show for it.

Not because such stories don’t exist or because people haven’t written about them online.

But because people’s actual stories have been crowded out by billions of SEO-optimized listicles with titles like “10 Google Penalties That May Be Affecting Your Site” and “The Complete list of Google Penalties and How to Recover.” ​​And then there’s worthless Medium, which showed up at no. 2 for a Google search on “Google penalty stories”:

The most insightful stories about Google Penalty – Medium
Read stories about Google Penalty on Medium. Discover smart, unique perspectives on Google Penalty and the topics that matter most to you like SEO, …

Page after page of Google results like this gave me no actual, credible, human info. And I guess it’s not just me that it’s happening to.

A recent article in the New Yorker talked about the growing mass realization that Google search sucks. Partly because Google as a company has decided to go fully evil. Partly because we have all started to rely so much on Google… that the Internet has warped itself to appeal to Google’s tastes and preferences.

The result is page after page of horrible, inhuman fluff, broken up perfectly with H1 and H2 headings, made up of regurgitated and repurposed low-quality information or even flat-out lies.

Which is something you can either be frustrated about…

Or if you’re like me, you might decide to see it as a business opportunity.

The tech nerds on Hacker News can try to come up with a new search engine to beat Google.

But this is a newsletter about marketing. So let me tell you it smells to me like we might be headed back to the days of Boardroom.

The past 15 or so years, coinciding with rise to monopoly of Google, have also seen a rise of personality-based marketing businesses.

Coaches, gurus, and experts of various stripes have been selling information at high prices — not based on the quality or quantity of the info — but based on their own perceived authority, trustworthiness, and the relationship they have built with their audience.

That was the only way you really could charge for information online.

The days of Boardroom — charging $39 for a book of tax-saving or health or consumer tips — without a face you could trust and a guru you could feel is your friend… why pay for that?

After all, it seemed that Google made that kind of information available for free.

Except again, we’re now in an age where there’s so much information, and so much bad information, all available for free, that there might be an opportunity to simply start a business curating good information and selling it online.

So if you’re looking for a side project, new business, or a way to help millions of people navigate their lives better, consider reviving Boardroom.

Bring together valuable, trustworthy information. Charge for it. Build a list. And then do it all over again.

You probably won’t ever be able to charge thousands of dollars for a single book or five-hour video course, the way you can if you are selling based on personality.

​​But you will be able to reach a much bigger pool of people — which creates valuable opportunities of its own.

Or you can watch me do it. I’m planning to take my own advice. I will write up the results in my email newsletter. You can sign up to join it here.

Cheap, easy, and definitely worth it

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A few days ago, I sent out a George Foreman-themed email asking for testimonials. Either for my newsletter and products… or for me personally.

I got back some good responses. Just what I was hoping for. For example, copywriter David Patrick wrote me to say:

“If John is behind anything, then I’m sure it’s going to be good. In fact, he may very well be the best thing to happen to America… at least when it comes to persuasion and influence! No, really!”

Others wrote in to say that I’m not only the best thing for America, but “maybe even the world”… that I am a “vital resource”… and one person, who shall remain unnamed, wrote in all seriousness with:

“John Bejakovic and persuasion. You can’t beat that. He made me like cats. Even though I used to hate them and they used to hate me. So he’s a great person to find out about a new product that’s about persuading stubborn prospects. Or cats.”

I also got less flamboyant, perhaps more useful testimonials. I will drip those out in good time, in upcoming emails and sales pages.

For today, I just want to point out something obvious that you might already know, but that I had to learn. In fact, I didn’t learn it until only a couple years ago, when I was writing a VSL for a get-rich-in-real-estate guru.

In one of his content videos, this real estate guru talked about his “buyers list” — the list of people you can flip a house to.

But a buyers list is so much more than that, the guru said.

​​He then rattled off all the connections, employees, business opportunities, sources of funding, and personal relationships that resulted from his list, and from the personal emails he would send to them on occasion.

“Huh, interesting,” I said, a dim light slowly flickering to life in my head.

​​Time passed. I stared into space.

​​The light flickered a little brighter. “Ohh… yeah… I get it now!”

Because it’s not just a “buyers list” that can do all that. It’s the same with any email list, when it’s built right and managed right.

The fact is, my newsletter list has given me — often without me even asking — business partners… JV partners… copywriting clients… consulting clients… free products… insider tips and valuable ideas I wouldn’t know about otherwise… job offers… podcast appearances… mastermind appearances… and many, many new relationships with people, some of whom even became my friends, mostly online, but in real life as well.

Like I said, I had to have somebody point this out to me. That a list is a relationship, and that it’s good for a lot more than just a certain kind of one-way traffic.

Maybe you’re amazed I could be so dense.

But I am far from a natural when it comes to promotion or marketing or business. And yet it doesn’t matter.

You can find a spot for yourself, and be successful in time, even if you’re not a natural showman, salesman, or “scheme” man.

Lots of people have walked the road before you. Many of them are willing to point out, sometimes even for free, just where you should put your feet to take the next step to success.

Such as for example, starting and running your own email list. It’s cheap. Easy to do. And it’s definitely worth it.

If you want to see, how I do it, sign up to my list. You might learn something about copywriting and marketing and business along the way. Here’s where to get started.

More on people’s deepest secrets, fears, and desires

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INTERVIEWER: I think finding something that helps you find fulfillment and happiness is important. And if that happens to be heroin, and you got it under control… maybe it’s okay.

MATTHEW: I do, but then it’s the money thing. It’s a lot of money.

INTERVIEWER: How much do you spend? How much do you spend a week?

MATTHEW: A month, probably $1,500. So I could have a nice apartment.

That’s from an interview with Matthew, a functional heroin addict. Matthew says he smokes heroin, every day, all day. And yet he has a job, and he does it well, and nobody knows.

The interview with Matthew is part of a YouTube channel called Soft White Underbelly.

I discovered Soft White Underbelly a few weeks ago. It features hundreds or maybe thousands of in-depth interviews with drug addicts, homeless people, child abuse victims, prostitutes, escorts, inbred Appalachian families, gang members, a high-level mob boss, a strychnine-drinking Pentecostal preacher, a conman who ran real-estate frauds totaling in the tens of millions of dollars, and various others on the outside of what you might call mainstream society.

I won’t lie — I got sucked into this channel because of purely prurient curiosity about the lives of escorts and prostitutes and even a male gigolo.

I’m not sure what my persuasion and influence takeaway for you is today. Except that, in my experience, being interested and curious is like a superpower in almost any field.

You achieve focus by being interested. And you achieve interest, if you don’t have it already, by seeing details.

I talked yesterday about how there are primal urges that motivate all people — except these are secrets most of us will never share with others. Often, we can’t even face up to them on our own, in the dead of night, as we’re falling asleep, with the covers pulled up to our eyeballs.

But the people who are interviewed on Soft White Underbelly are incredibly open about the most shocking, intimate, painful, and humiliating things in their lives.

Maybe some of these stories aren’t true. But I bet many of them are. And they’re very revealing.

Yes, these are extreme stories of people coping with bad life situations and bad life choices.

But like I said yesterday, the human experience is similar among all of us. And a person doesn’t need to have extreme abuse or trauma or misfortune to fall into the same patterns of thought and behavior as the people on Soft White Underbelly.

So if you pay attention to the details of their stories… it might be useful both to understand others better, and to understand yourself better.

Or who knows, maybe I’m just trying to justify my own prurient fascination.

In case you want to decide for yourself, let me recommend a SFU interview to start with.
​
​​It’s with a black-hat hacker, who started in the 1980s by phreaking phones and early ATMs, then graduated to more lucrative and high-scale tech exploits ($10M for hacking the DirectTV receiver), and culminated about 10 years ago with… well, I won’t spoil it.

If you’re interested, the full interview is below. But before you watch it, if you want more ideas on understanding yourself and other people better — both for profit and for curiosity’s sake — then sign up to my email newsletter.

How to get adoring customers who trip over each other to thank you for all the help and meaning you’ve given their lives

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“Dearly beloved, when Rupert here was a student at Clifton High School, none of us, myself, his teachers, his classmates, dreamt that he would amount to a hill of beans. But we were wrong! And you Rupert, you were right. And that’s why tonight, before the entire nation, we’d like to apologize to you personally and to beg your forgiveness for all the things we did to you. And we’d like to thank you personally, all of us, for the meaning you’ve given to our lives.”
— The King of Comedy

Last week, I got a good question from Fahir, one of the people going through my Copy Riddles program right now. Fahir wrote (edited slightly):

“A lot of goo-roo’s talk about knowing your prospect’s deepest fears. How can we know that about our prospects? Of course, there’s research, but these are things people will not share with anyone and in most cases, they don’t know what is their fear.”

Fahir is right. It’s a genuine problem.

​​Much of the stuff that really motivates people — the image of the impregnable bunker, the bloody revenge, the panties getting thrown on the stage — is stuff your market will never admit. Even to themselves.

I told Fahir and the other folks going through Copy Riddles three different ways of getting around this problem.

Today I want to tell you one more way. It’s very powerful. It’s also very simple. Don’t let that fool you.

Because it’s just to look inwards.

We human beings are wonderfully unique in our fingerprints, the lines of our face, the letter-by-letter code of our DNA.

But we’re also wonderfully similar. As marketer Rich Schefren likes to say, what’s most personal is most general.

So if you find something funny, if you find something interesting, or if you find something frightening, ask yourself why. What’s the essence of it?

The people in your market might not have the exact sense of humor or interests or paranoia that you have.

​​But if you look a little deeper, you’ll find something like that King of Comedy quote above — something that most people can relate to on a primal level.

The bigger point being, you have many resources inside you already to help you succeed. Stories, emotions, natural human reactions.

You just have to spot them, strip them down to their underwear, and then put a slightly new outfit on them, one that’s appropriate the sales letter or sales email at hand.

Just do that, and people in your market will respond. What’s more, they will thank you, personally, all of them, for the help, compassion, and meaning you you’ve given to their lives.

If you want to know more about those resources you have hidden inside you:

I write a daily email newsletter all about that stuff. I also talk about how you can apply it to your own writing, money-making, and personal development. If you want to read that, sign up to my newsletter here.

Send me your praise and admiration

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When I was a teenager still living at home, a fixture in my mom’s kitchen was the Lean Mean Fat-Reducing Grilling Machine aka the George Foreman grill.

My mom spent a minimum of one hour each night cooking after she got home from work. The George Foreman grill was the only “high tech” gadget she ever used. I fondly remember the many hundreds of pounds of olive-oil basted chicken thigh she prepared on the George Foreman grill and fed me over the years.

A few days ago, I looked up the history of the George Foreman grill.

George was unwilling to promote it at first. “I’m not interested in toys,” he said. But he agreed after his wife made him a hamburger on the grill.

And good thing, too. The George Foreman grill has sold well over 100 million units to date. And George Foreman made an estimated $200 million in royalties from having his name — and signature — on each grill.

Most of those 100+ million units were sold through retail. But the George Foreman grill got its start with an infomercial.

Thanks to the wonder that is YouTube, I found the original 28-min George Foreman grill infomercial. I watched it. it’s honestly great — fun viewing.

And if like me you are interested in ideas and the history and development of ideas, this infomercial holds many valuable lessons, as long as you can spare 28 minutes and a bit of brainpower to write down notes.

Today I want to share one note I wrote down while watching the GF infomercial. It might seem obvious to you. But it was a revelation to me.

So, like any successful piece of direct response advertising, the GF infomercial has testimonials. The first batch of testimonials is what you might expect — about the product and what it will do for you.

But the second batch of testimonials has nothing to do with the product. Here, check it out:

TESTIMONIAL 1: “If George is behind anything, that will be the best thing for America. George would never advertise nothing that’s not good for America.”

TESTIMONIAL 2: “George Foreman and food. You can’t beat that. Because George is big on hamburgers. And he’s a big guy. So he’s a great person to find out about new product that has to do with food. I didn’t have any doubts when I knew George was promoting it.”

So that’s my tip for you for today:

People are easier to sell than products or ideas. But you still have to do some selling, even to sell a person.

So have testimonials not just about your offer and how good it is…

But also about who you are, and why that’s a good thing. And like George, you might find one day soon that there are millions of dollars dropping into your lap unexpectedly.

“Oh yeah?” you say. “You know, Bejako, I would consider buying into your tip, if only I trusted you more. If only I had some testimonials to sell me on you.”

Fair point. I have to admit I’ve been very, very slack about collecting testimonials for this newsletter, for my products, and for myself.

But I’ll change that going forward.

And if you want to help me kickstart my testimonial chopper, then hit reply and write me something nice.

If you enjoy these emails or you’ve gotten value out of my books or courses… you can write me that. That would be fine.

But what would be even finer if you write me and say, “If John is behind anything, then I’m sure it’s going to be good.”

​​Write me that you have no doubts if you know I’m promoting something.

​​Or even — if you can somehow stomach to do it — write me that I’m the best thing for America. When it comes to persuasion and influence at least.

Oh, and if you are not yet sure I’m the best thing for America… you might join many other smart and successful marketers and copywriters, and sign up for my email newsletter.

The secret pleasure of self-pity

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A few days ago, I was walking down a promenade street. The street is on a very, very gentle slope. There was a little girl, maybe six years old, riding a little bicycle up the street towards me.

She started veering left and right on her bike. The gentle slope was getting to her. She came to a stop.

“Oof,” she said, “I just cannot… ride… any further.”

And she passed the back of her hand across her forehead, the way I guess she has seen her mom do a million times.

​​Then she looked around to see if any of her family were there to witness her suffering. But they were too far down the street, and they were busy talking to each other.

For some reason, this scene got me thinking about the exquisite pleasure of feeling sorry for yourself. Perhaps because self-pity is an emotion I indulge in pretty often.

I was wondering what it is. Why is it such a pleasurable sensation? After all, self-pity seems to be completely self-defeating.

Maybe you have an explanation for me. The best that I could come up with is that self-pity, like so much of the human brain, can be explained by our prime directive to think less.

Like for example, how we rely on social proof, so we don’t have to investigate and make up our own minds.

Or how we jump to extremes so we can ignore the full spectrum of options. Like my favorite question, “What’s your number one tip for succeeding as a copywriter?”

And this same drive to think less is why I figure we feel pleasure when we feel sorry for ourselves. Because it’s pleasurable to come to a stop when the going stops being fast, cheap, or easy.

All of which might sound like I’m getting cynical on you, or that I’m trying to bring you down.

No. Quite the opposite.

Because I have this belief that, while we come preprogrammed into life… and while we remain highly programmable throughout life by outside influence… we also have individual agency.

In other words, you might often find yourself giving in to self-pity. But you don’t have to give in — at least not every time, and not in the long term.

Like that little girl on the bike, you can face forward again, exhale with resignation, set your sights on the top of the street, put your hands back on the handle bars, and start pedaling again, back up the gentle slope.

On the topic of bicycling:

I write an email newsletter every day. It rarely has to do with bicyling, but it frequently has to do with marketing, copywriting, and influence. In case you like, you can sign up for it here.

The two kinds of people

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In a recent opinion piece for the Washington Post, journalist David Goodhart explains his idea that the world is divided between “somewhere” people and “anywhere” people.

​​Anywhere people, Goodhart writes,

“tend to be educated and mobile; they value openness, autonomy and individual self-realization. They tend to have careers rather than jobs and “achieved identities” based on academic and professional success.”

By contrast, somewhere people are

“more rooted and less well-educated; they tend to value security, familiarity and group attachments (national or local). Their sense of themselves is more likely to come from the place they come from and the local ways of life they are attached to, which means that they are more likely to be discomforted by rapid social change.”

So I want you to ask yourself. How do you feel right now?

Did you mentally put yourself into one of those categories in the past moment?

​​Did you think of other people who fit one of these two categories?

​​Did you maybe have a moment of insight, as if to say, “Wow, i never thought of it that way… but this could explain a lot.”

I’ve written before about the power of creating a syndrome or a disease as a way to get people to feel a moment of insight.

The classic example — the one marketer Rich Schefren likes to use — is ADHD.

​​Maybe you’ve gone through life, distracted and flaky, starting but never finishing projects, jumping from one thing to the next. You’re dissatisfied, but you can’t put your finger on what the problem really is.

And then somebody comes and tells you there’s a syndrome — a collection of symptoms — that has a medical name. Maybe this person also points out you have a few others symptoms, once you didn’t even notice, but which can be explained by this new diagnosis.

Suddenly, you feel enlightened. You have a new handle on the problems in your life. Hope swells up inside of you. Maybe all these different bad issues can be solved, you think, and at once!

So that’s one way to create insight. A new syndrome.

An extension, which can be equally as powerful, is to create a partition. To categorize, not just one group of people, but everybody, as either A or B.

That’s what’s going on with the somewhere people or anywhere people above. In more marketingy circles, there’s Rich Schefren’s partition of the world into business owners and opportunity seekers… or Andre Chaperon’s distinction between marketers who are chefs, and those who are merely cooks.

Maybe you haven’t heard me talk about insight before, so you’re wondering what the good of all this is. I’ll explain that in full detail in an upcoming book, all about the use of insight in marketing.

​​But if you want the situation in a nut — insight is a powerful feeling, just like desire. And just like desire, it can stimulate action.

Of course, just because something feels insightful, that doesn’t make it true.

I recently wrote about how I don’t believe in that biggest and most popular partition of the world — between introverts and extroverts. I feel the same about this somewhere/anywhere partition, even more so.

My point being, partitions, syndromes, and insight are powerful techniques of influence. We are all susceptible to them.

Well, almost all of us.

One large part of the population is what I call “insight-unaware” people. These people can be manipulated at will by techniques of insight. But a small part of the population is what I call “insight-aware.” And those people…

… those people often enjoy other essays I write. If that’s you, then sign up to my email newsletter.