Jab, jab, right hook — for sales copy

Gary Vaynerchuck has this famed marketing idea of “jab, jab, jab, right hook.”

The idea is to give value a bunch of times (the jabs) before making any kind of ask from your audience (the right hook).

I don’t subscribe to this way of splitting up value and sales.

But I do think this “jab, jab, right hook” approach can make sense in straight-up sales copy.

Fact is, when you get in the ring with your prospect, his defenses will be strong. If you try to hit him right on the nose with your most powerful claim right away, he’s just going to duck and weave and keep his guard up.

So what do you do instead?

Well, this ties into the discussion of gradualization from my post yesterday.

In a peanutshell, you jab your prospect first with a bunch of softer, less powerful, but more believable claims. Let me give you an example:

“How Doctors Stay Well While Treating Sick People All Day Long”

That was the headline of a successful magalog written by Parris Lampropoulos.

What do you think this headline is about?

Odds are, you think of clever ways that doctors avoid getting the common cold.

And that’s pretty much how the copy leads off. Here’s a breakdown of the beliefs and claims that Parris cycles through in a few paragraphs:

1. The official line is that doctors don’t get sick because they wash their hands all the time

2. But it’s not true! Studies show that three out of four doctors don’t wash their hands between patients, and over 2 million patients get sick in doctors’ offices

3. The truth is that doctors actually rely on herbs, folk remedies, and non-standard cures to keep from catching infections

5. And doctors also use these “forbidden treatments” to lower their cholesterol, get rid of pains, and prevent cancer and Alzheimer’s

Whoa! Did you catch that?

We started out talking about clever ways doctors use to keep from getting the common cold. Now we’re talking about preventing cancer and Alzheimer’s.

And over the next couple pages, it gets more extreme.

Parris shows you how there are proven but non-standard treatments, not just to prevent cancer and Alzheimer’s, but actually to cure these killer diseases.

For this audience, that’s the right hook. It takes an A-list copywriter like Parris to hold off on this knockout punch long enough that he can be sure to land it, plum on the nose.

In the words of Gene Schwartz, who first wrote about this process:

“This fact — that your most powerful claim does not always make your most powerful headline — is a paradox that many copy writers still cannot accept. Mail order advertisers, however, have a simple way of proving it. When a power-claim headline doesn’t work — for reasons either of Awareness or Sophistication — they immediately split it against a second head, with far fewer claims but far more likely to be believed. Then they build a belief bridge from this second headline, to the same exact claims they featured in the first, but now anticipated by careful preparation every step of the way.”

Screenwriting & copywriting: “If the structure is unsound, forget it”

One of my favorite screenwriters of all time is William Goldman, the guy behind The Princess Bride and Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.

Writing about his craft, Goldman made the claim that “screenplays are structure.” He explained in more detail:

“Yes, nifty dialog helps one hell of a lot; sure, it’s nice if you can bring your characters to life. But you can have terrific characters spouting just swell talk to each other, and if the structure is unsound, forget it.”

Same thing in copywriting.

You can have all the nifty dialog and terrific characters you want, but if your arguments are out of order, or if you introduce a claim that doesn’t belong, you’re a dead duck.

Maybe you think I’m exaggerating. So here’s a relevant quote from one of the great A-list copywriters of the last century:

“If you violate your prospect’s established beliefs in the slightest degree — either in content or direction — then nothing you promise him, no matter how appealing, can save your ad.”

Ahe A-list copywriter behind this thought is Gene Schwartz. In his book Breakthrough Advertising, Gene wrote that the structure of your ad should be a bridge of belief between the facts your prospect currently accepts, and the final facts you want him to accept. Gene called this process of bridge building “gradualization.”

So how does this look in practice?

Well, in Breakthrough Advertising, Gene gave a line-by-line breakdown of gradualization in a famous ad (“Why haven’t TV owners been told these facts?”).

But that ad is kind of old. So I’ll give you a more recent example.

Except, it’s getting late. It’s time for me to quickly re-watch the swordfighting scene from The Princess Bride, and then get to bed. I’ll share that gradualization example with you, and all its structural wonder, in my email tomorrow.

What, you don’t get my email newsletter but you want tomorrow’s email? No problem. Sign up here.

A small, cosmetic copy change to keep clients happy

“This is the best copy you’ve written for us. Really excited to test this out.”

A couple years ago, I started writing a bunch of advertorials for a client who does dropshipping.

Every few weeks, these guys would launch a new product. I’d write the advertorial and the Facebook ads that would drive hapless moms and grandmas to my advertorial horror story.

The first advertorial I wrote for this client did well, and beat the copy they were using.

So they had me write a few more. Some of these offers did well. Some not.

But overall, my approach to writing advertorials during this time was much the same in each case. The client was satisfied enough, but never made any special comments on the copy.

But then I changed something up.

At the time, I was re-reading Joe Sugarman’s Adweek book. And somewhere around the middle of that book, Joe suggests a small, almost cosmetic change you can make to your copy to get readers hooked on reading more.

So I started making this change in my advertorial copy. It took all of 5 minutes after the copy was done.

Did it make a difference?

Well, the client was happy. That quote above, about the best copy, was what he said after I delivered the gussied-up advertorial.

As for sales, the offer ran successfully on cold Facebook traffic for a few months.

The advertorial still does well for us as a back-end product, and converts at around 6% on email traffic.

I’ve been making this same change with all the advertorials I’ve written since. I can’t be sure what it’s doing for sales, but I suspect it helps a bit. And as long as it doesn’t hurt, but it keeps my client happier, that’s a win in itself.

So what is this small, cosmetic change?

Like I said, you can find it in Joe Sugarman’s book.

But if you don’t want to go hunting for it there, you’ll also be able to find it in my upcoming book on wisdom handed down by A-list copywriters.

If you want to get notified when this book is out and available, sign up for my daily email newsletter, where I write about persuasion, marketing, and copywriting lessons won on my own skin.

Don’t be a dumb bunny — get this copywriting knowledge now

Getting to the top of any field these days takes an almost obscene amount of dedication.

Take for example A-list copywriter Jim Rutz.

At one point, Rutz was one of the most in-demand copywriters in the world.

In the early days, he was so good he worked on royalties only — he was confident he could beat any control, so higher royalties made more sense than charging fees.

Later, the line of clients who wanted Rutz stretched out the door and down the hill. So Rutz also added up-front fees to his royalties. At one point, these up-front fees reached $100,000 for a single promotion.

But like I said, it took an unholy amount of dedication for Rutz to become this dominant.

Apparently, he didn’t have much of a social life or sex life. His clever attempts at finding a mail-order bride fell through.

His home life was unusual too. When Boardroom VP Brian Kurtz visited Rutz’s home, he found stacks of direct response promotions lying around. Rutz used these promotions as furniture. It seems his whole life was largely about direct response.

I definitely don’t have this level of dedication. Perhaps you don’t either. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t things we can learn from Jim Rutz nonetheless.

For example, I always remember this Jim Rutz commandment:

“You must surprise the reader at the outset and at every turn of the copy. This takes time and toil.”

Sure, you wanna surprise the reader at the outset. Have a paradoxical headline. Or a bizarre subject line. Makes sense.

But what about at every turn of the copy?

​​Well, let me give you an example of that. Here’s a quick paragraph from a sidebar in a Jim Rutz magalog. ​​If you want to get better at surprising your readers, read this, once, twice, and maybe even print it out to form the beginning of your new nightstand:

“The ultimate nightmare: Being trapped in extreme pain, day after day. GREAT NEWS: Some doctors have learned in the past ten years how to block almost any degree of pain. But you have to know what kind of treatment to ask for… or how to get a physician who specializes in pain management… or where to find an accredited pain management facility. It’s all on page 127. Don’t be a dumb bunny and wait until you get hit by a cement truck. Get this knowledge now.”

Speaking of knowledge:

I have a daily email newsletter. There isn’t always copywriting knowledge inside. But sometimes there is. You can subscribe here.

A lesson in reality for lazy copywriters

I blame my parents. They gave me a pleasant and carefree childhood. How selfish of them.

Had they been more forward-thinking, they would have put me to work early — washing dishes after dinner, taking out the trash for my allowance, maybe even a part-time job at the local shoe-shine stand.

As it is, I never had to work until after puberty had had its way with me and then left me alone. By that time, it was too late.

I grew up lazy.

In spite of my best adult efforts to become fluent in “work,” I find that whenever I try to speak that language, I have a heavy accent and the whole thing seems unnatural.

But this email is not about me. This email is about you. Because if you’re looking to become a successful copywriter, it will take work. As Victor Schwab wrote,

“My personal nomination for a heraldic shield for the advertising business would be an obese briefcase, rampant on a field of copy paper.”

Schwab advised young ad men to pack their briefcases full of client papers and take them home for extra work, after work. Because more than talent, more than knowledge of marketing and persuasion, success at copywriting requires work.

Perhaps that thought horrifies you. So let me leave you with something more positive, this from copywriter John Carlton:

Think of yourself as being in a movie — you may not have total control over everything, but you have a lot MORE control than you naturally believe you have.

Write your script the way you want, and then go for it.

Accept reality, but never accept your own lame excuses for not making things happen with as much input from you as you could muster.

The point being, if you don’t like working long hours, you can certainly organize your life in time to avoid that.

If you want to get paid better, you can get there too, and more quickly than you think.

And if, say, you hate working for clients, there are plenty of ways to make a good living today by writing for yourself.

Sure you have to work. That’s reality. But even if you never grow to love work, you can make your life much more like you want than you imagine right now.

By the way, if you want to work at reading a message like this from me, each day, you can subscribe to my daily email newsletter.

Shortcuts in bear-and-wolf country

For the past several days, I’ve been hiding in the wilderness in Croatia.

I came to bear-and-wolf country for a break from the city and to avoid having to celebrate my birthday.

It’s been mostly good, except not one wolf, not one bear. Beyond that, this place (Risnjak, if you ever need somewhere to hide) is very nice.

Now, even in the wilderness, you can learn something useful about human brains and persuasion.

For example, today, I wanted to see two things: a lake and a park.

I asked my host how to get to the lake.

(Bear with me for a moment now, because we get into some simple geometry.)

It turned out the location of Bejako, lake, and park were like this:

Bejako —– Mountain
|                        |
|                        |
Park ——– Lake

So my host told me that to get to the lake, I’d need to head out, pass the mountain peak, and then turn right.

So I did. I found the lake. It was nice.

And then, completely on default, without consulting the map, I headed back from the lake, across the mountain peak, to my original starting point, so I could get to the park.

I hope I haven’t lost you with all this topology.

If you look at my diagram above it should be clear how stupid I was, and how I spent an unnecessary 40 minutes in the car.

Because the location where I was halfway through the day, the lake, was about 10 minutes away from where I wanted to go, the park. I only figured that out at the very end.

And now the persuasion point of all this:

People are not logical. They will not choose what is best for them in some grand and impartial scheme of things.

Human brains love shortcuts, even when those shortcuts mean a three-times longer distance in real life.

Thing is, these mental shortcuts are well-known and predictable.

It is your job as a copywriter to catalogue these shortcuts, and to use them to guide your prospect where you want him to go.

What’s that? You want an example of what I mean by “mental shortcut”?

Well, here’s a powerful one which I unfortunately take all the time:

Mental Shortcut #1: People will almost always take the disinterested advice of others rather than trying to figure out something on their own.

For more shortcuts, as they come out, you might like my daily email newsletter.

The occasion of A-list copywriting

Like Hollywood celebs, A-list copywriters come and go.

Gene Schwartz… Gary Bencivenga, Parris Lampropoulos…

That’s only natural. People age and the market demands new stars.

But what’s not natural is to have a modern-day A-list copywriter introduce a new insight about copywriting.

After all, pretty much all wisdom we have about copywriting was written down around the time that Marlon Brando was screaming “Stella” and redefining what it means to be an actor.

And yet, these new breakthroughs sometimes happen. Case in point:

Dan Ferrari and his “occasions.”

I’ve written about Dan aplenty in these emails. But the short version of his bio is that he was a top copywriter at the Motley Fool, starting around 2013…

Before going out on his own and becoming an even more successful freelance copywriter.

So let me tell you about one new bit of copywriting wisdom I heard from Dan Ferrari. This happened on a call he did with Kevin Rogers of Copy Chief.

Dan was breaking down his “Genesis” promo. This sales letter beat the previous control by over 300%.

(And if you read my email from yesterday about the fickleness of “beating a control,” let me add that the client in this case was Green Valley Natural Products, which hires the best copywriters and is actually owned by an A-list copywriter, Lee Euler. In other words, that previous copy must have been at least decent.)

Anyways, while talking about this promo, Dan made a small comment, something along the lines of:

“I always look for an occasion or an event to tie my copy into.”

This was something I’ve never heard anyone else talk about. It was entirely new, at least to me. And it took me a while to find out what Dan meant by this.

I guess this occasion stuff came natural to him because of his background in writing financial copy.

All financial promos are sensitive to news and current events, because markets are sensitive to news and current events.

But Dan’s insight was that other markets are the same too.

Your prospects also want to know what the occasion is of your writing.

Are you selling a completely new invention that nobody’s heard of until now? And if not, why are they only hearing from you now, and not five years ago?

This is a question you have to answer for your readers. You have to create an “occasion” for your sales letter.

It might seem like a trivial thing to focus on, but it can make the difference between A-list copywriting and everything else.

For more info on A-lister copywriting tactics, you might like my daily email newsletter.

The bad (and the good) of beating a control

BAM!

On April 6, 2019, bad boy MMA fighter Conor McGregor stepped inside a Dublin pub.

McGregor owns a brand of whiskey. So he offered to buy a round of his Proper No. 12 to all the pub patrons.

One old guy said, no thanks.

So McGregor, who at one point held two MMA belts and also fought boxing legend Floyd Mayweather, socked the old man right in the ear. The old man absorbed the jab gamely. But he quietly turned away, clearly ceding to McGregor’s physical dominance.

The infuriating thing is that none of the mainstream news media reported a fact I know deep in my heart:

This old man was the standing boxing champ of that local Dublin pub.

He won the title back in 1989, against another local drunkard named Ciaran. Since then, nobody has dared to challenge the old man’s reign. Except Conor McGregor.

Here’s where I’m going with this:

McGregor winning that pub fight was much like a copywriter beating a long-standing control. (A control, as you probably know, is your best ad, the one that’s been running successfully for a long time, and outperforming all competition.)

Maybe you see the similarity. If you beat a control, it’s impossible to say what that really means.

Maybe your new copy really is a highly trained fighting machine. Maybe it could beat all competition, even on a world stage filled with killers.

But… maybe, just maybe, you sucker punched an old man who was teetering on a bar stool after his third pint. Maybe the old copy was so outdated, so weak, and so ready for change that even a finger tap would have done it.

Nobody can tell for sure.

Which might be bad if you’re looking for copywriting “truth.”

But it’s certainly great if you’re a copywriter looking to make a name for yourself. So go out and start brawling. Get yourself a control, even if it means pushing over some tipsy, harmless geezer.

Last thing:

I have an daily email newsletter. Much of the content is me pushing over long-standing but tired claims like “he won a control, therefore he must be great” and replacing them with something more interesting.

If you’d like to sign up for my emails so you can see me terrorizing these bits of conventional wisdom, here’s where to go.

Don’t bring a knife to a proof fight

Continuing on yesterday’s discussion about proof, there is the following sad fact:

If you are a copywriter trying to prove your case, you might be forced to squeeze juice out of a dry and withered lemon.

Most often, that consists of stacking up a few weak testimonials, and maybe including an unremarkable mechanism.

Don’t get me wrong. This kind of proof, dry and withered though it may be, is still better than nothing.

But in a way, it’s like that scene in The Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Indy comes into a crowded marketplace, only to be faced with a black-robed giant who’s wielding a scimitar.

The black-robed giant laughs and does some fancy sword waving.

And then Indy pulls out a gun and shoots him.

Lesson being, don’t bring your testimonial knife to a proof fight. Somebody out there will shoot you.

But if testimonials are the scimitar equivalent of proof, then what is the equivalent of a gun?

Well, just take a look at all the direct response giants.

Guthy-Renker…

Agora…

Golden Hippo.

All these billion-dollar companies don’t use just endorsements or testimonials to prove the worth of their products. Instead, their entire offers are built around gurus with a following, credibility, and authority.

People like Tony Robbins… or James Altucher… or Steven Gundry (okay, maybe not a terrible amount of credibility there).

Point being:

You might not be able to get a famous and successful person to be the face and heart of your new product. But with a bit of thinking, you can find ways to bake the proof into your product, rather than sprinkling it on as a dry and withered afterthought.

On an entirely unrelated topic:

I have an email newsletter. It’s all about persuasion insights and strategies. Want proof that it’s worth reading? Tony Robbins is my editor. If you want to sign up and see what Tony and I have to say, here’s where to go.

The first commandment of A-list copywriters

Steve Martin has a standup comedy bit about clueless guys in bars.

“The way I meet girls,” Steve starts, “is by looking cool. The important thing is to have a great opening line.”

So he takes a sip of water, grits his teeth to take the sting out, and walk over to an imaginary girl. After a cocky pause and a twitch of his brow, he unleashes the killer line:

“Yeah… I make a lot of money.”

This is how it is in marketing, too. Most advertisers think they’re being suave, and instead put out ads full of hyperbole and empty claims. When prospects see these ads, they do what most girls would do with Steve Martin above. A roll of the eyes. Instant dismissal.

But don’t take my word for it. This was the opinion of one Gary Bencivenga, an A-lister whose star shines brightest on the copywriters Walk of Fame.

According to Gary, the two most powerful words in advertising are neither “FREE” nor “NEW.” Instead, the two most powerful words are, “Yeah, sure.” That’s why Gary’s number one commandment was to put proof above all other elements in his ads.

But you probably know all this. So I won’t go on more about proof or Gary Bencivenga. Instead, let me make a confession.

For the past several months, I’ve been working on a book about something I call “insight marketing.”

My original plan was to write this book in 28 days. Well, that didn’t happen.

I’m making progress on the book (about halfway done) but it’s taking way more research and thinking than I planned originally.

So while I continue to write this book about insight, I decided to put out more tiny Kindle books on topics I already know a lot about.

And that’s where all of that Steve Martin/Gary Bencivenga stuff above hooks in. It’s the beginning of the first chapter of my upcoming book.

How upcoming? 28 days, of course. If you want to know when it’s out, you can sign up for my daily email newsletter, in which I write about persuasion and marketing, much like you read above.