John Bejakovic

Let’s play master and servant

by

Gary Bencivenga said that sales copy needs to only do two things to be successful. The first is to open the sale. The second is to close the sale.

In a similar vein, I think you need to only do two things to finish any copy project. The first is to sit down to work. The second is to actually write.

You might think I’m being silly, but I’m serious.

To show you how serious, let tell you about a little game I like to play. Maybe you will like to play it too. It’s called master and servant.

Each night, I get out my riding whip, and, in the role of master, I make a list of tasks for the servant to accomplish the next day.

In the morning, I put the riding whip away and, in the role of servant, I blindly begin to follow the master’s written orders.

So I sit down to work on a particular copy project. Thing 1 above is complete.

But now what? The servant is lazy. He will whine and invent excuses. Soon, he will get up and quit rather than starting to do any work.

So in the role of master again, I’ll warm up the servant with some trivial subtasks.

For example, one of today’s tasks was an email for some real estate agents. And so I told the servant, “Open up a new text document. Write SUBJECT across the top. That’s where the subject line will go one day. And then just paste in the three or four URLs you will get research from. That is all you have to do.”

The servant, who is gullible as well as lazy, does as he’s told. “I’m finished,” he says. “Can I go now?”

So the master gives him a few more easy subtasks. And a few more. Soon enough, the servant is huffing, puffing, sweating, and working, without realizing that time is passing and the project is moving forward, under his own initiative. Thing 2 above is complete.

Gene Schwartz said that you have to work hard to succeed. He then clarified. You don’t have to work long hours. You just have to work hard, with great intensity.

But how do you do that?

I subscribe to the idea, which I first read from Cal Newport, that procrastination is at bottom uncertainty. Uncertainty about what you have to do. Uncertainty that it will work. Uncertainty that such a massive project could ever get finished.

So much thinking. So much personal attachment. So much stress. No wonder you can’t get any work done.

That’s why it helps to split your personality into two. Hammer and anvil. Master and servant. It’s a lot like life.

“I’m finished. Can I go now?”

Yes, you’re free to go if you like. But if you want to give your servant some useful reading to do later, click here and subscribe to my daily email newsletter.

2020 isn’t done with us yet

by

Last Wednesday, a troop of scientist monkeys was circling in a helicopter above the Utah desert, when they spotted something that shouldn’t be there.

The scientists landed to take a closer look.

There, in the middle of Road Runner country, among red cliffs and tumbleweeds and a whole lot of nothing, stood a rectangular silver pillar. It was about 10 feet tall, and about 1 foot in width and depth.

The mysterious object had no apparent purpose or function. There was no clue who or what had created it.

So in an instinctive show of excitement, the scientists started hooting and throwing sticks and scratching their armpits.

But let me take a step back. I found out about this from a BBC article titled:

“Metal monolith found by helicopter crew in Utah desert”

I clicked on this article among dozens of other tempting news headlines. So I asked myself why. The news aspect was one, the curiosity another. But that’s clearly not all.

It’s that word “monolith.” Maybe you see where this is going.

A monolith in the middle of the desert ties into Stanley Kubrick’s movie 2001. You know the famous scene, with the orgasmic music and the sun rising as a monkey smashes some tapir bones.

I thought this monolith article was speaking directly to me. But sadly no. ​​The BBC knew what it was doing.

​​Millions of other people made the same 2001 connection. One twitter intellectual writing under the account @MonolithUtah commented “We come in peace.” Another wrote “2020 isn’t done with us yet #utahmonolith.”

This has obvious applications if you’re writing sales copy. In fact, marketer Joe Sugarman exploited the underlying principle behind this monolith story to sell all kinds of devices, from smoke detectors to remote car starters.

That’s something I wrote about in more detail when I originally wrote this article and sent it out to my newsletter subscribers.

In case you’d like to be on my newsletter, so you don’t miss any more copywriting tricks that link into popular science fiction movies, click here and subscribe.

How to succeed in copywriting more than the other guy

by

Legend says that, as Wall Street titan Bernard Baruch was nearing the end of his long and influential life, somebody asked him how he did it.

How did he herd a bunch of U.S. presidents and countless other bull-sized egos, and get them to go where he would? Baruch’s answer was simple:

“Figure out what people want, and show them how to get it.”

Interesting. Except… Did Baruch really say it? Just like that?

That’s how the story was told once, in a closed-door session of top copywriters and rich and powerful direct marketing execs.

But I wanted to use this anecdote in a book I’m writing. So I decided to find some context and proof for this quote. And there went a morning, about two hours of work, straight out the window.

First, a random Google search… then more in-depth reading about Bernard Baruch… then searching through a database of old newspapers and magazines… and finally downloading several BB biographies.

Nothing. The closest I found was a similar Dale Carnegie quote, along with other blogs that refer to the same second-hand source (Gary Bencivenga’s farewell seminar) that I already knew about.

In the end, I gave up and told the anecdote much as I told it above. But I started it with, “Copywriter Gary Bencienga once told a story…” Because I couldn’t confirm that the damn story really was true, or that the quote really was as Gary B. said it was.

So were the two hours of fruitless research a waste?

Yes. But I don’t regret it. I enjoy researching and obsessively tracking down original sources. The fact I get to do it is a perk of how I make money.

But wait — there’s more!

Because I’ve long had a feeling that obsessive research can be a competitive advantage. It can surface gold where you’re only looking for silver.

And along these lines, I hit upon the following quote today. It’s by a man who took his obsessive copywriting research… and turned it into a Park Avenue penthouse and a world-class modern art collection. Take it away Gene Schwartz:

“This is what makes success. There’s nothing else in the world that makes success as much as this. I will take the best copywriter in the world who is sloppy and careless, and match him against a good copy cub, and two out of three times, the sloppiness of the great person will be beaten by the carefulness of the other person. […] The person who is the best prepared and the most knowledgeable makes the most money. It’s so simple!”

In case you want to be knowledgeable and prepared, at least when it comes to marketing and copywriting, you might like my daily email newsletter. Click here if you want to subscribe.

Yes more scrubs

by

I recently learned of a successful real estate guru who partners with you, even if you’re a scrub.

That means he teaches you what to do… provides you with office support… gives you tens of thousands of dollars to fund your deal… and then splits any profits with you.

Sounds good?

It is. But here’s the monkey wrench:

He also charges you a hefty upfront fee so you can become his partner.

I mentioned yesterday the idea of “success share” in direct response businesses. So far, this real estate guru is the closest I could find to that.

I thought about what a pure “success share” direct response business would look like, without a hungry hippopotamus of a fee up front.

I imagine it wouldn’t be recognizable as a direct response business any more.

Just to be concrete, let’s take the example of a business that trains would-be copywriters. How would that work if it were based on a share of results that customers get… rather than an upfront fee?

Well, instead of being a factory for constant new offers, I imagine it would look more like the startup incubator Y Combinator, or like Goldman Sachs. It would work to attract the highest performers, the people who would succeed regardless of which system they go through. And it would ignore everybody else.

In this hypothetical “success share” world, 99% of direct response businesses would vanish.

Because most direct response businesses need scrubs, just like most strippers need tips. It’s what pays the bills.

But like in a strip joint, this doesn’t mean the average direct response customer is getting nothing for his money. Keep this in mind if you’re trying to sell something. You’re selling hope… entertainment… even companionship. Results can be valuable, but they come after those more important things.

Speaking of important things:

You can join my daily email newsletter here if you want to.

A pound of flesh for a direct response product?

by

15 years ago, a friend and I had a clever business idea, a type of modern indentured servitude:

Say you go out and find a 9-year-old Novak Djokovic… or Leonardo DiCaprio… or just some cocky and overachieving little shit.

He’s clearly talented, odds are he will go far. But right now, he’s poor.

So you offer to lend him (or his parents), say, $30k. In exchange, you get a share of his future income.

15 years ago, both my friend and I were jobless, penniless, and spent our time inventing ways we would never have to work.

In other words, we were classic small thinkers.

And with our small-thinking mindsets, we were sure that our idea, brilliant though it was, would never fly in the real world.

Well, my friend wrote me a few days ago. “Remember that idea we had 15 years ago? It’s real now.”

It’s called an “income share agreement.” Right now, it’s mostly limited to certain universities.

Can’t afford to go to Purdue University? No worries. You don’t have to pay or even take out a loan. You go for free… but Purdue takes a cut of your income for 10 years after you graduate.

(If you’re ever unemployed and not paying any money to Purdue after graduation, I believe they get a pound of your flesh. Or maybe your liver.)

I spent the better part of tonight walking the dog around the neighborhood and thinking how this would look in a direct response business.

“Get our longevity-boosting telomere supplement for FREE for life… but we get a share of your social security check each year. Or a pound of your flesh.”

Mostly I concluded, like I did 15 years ago, that this “success share” system could never fly in direct response.

Small-thinking mindset still.

Because I realized it already is happening in one market that I know. Maybe it’s a sign of things to come. I’ll tell you about that in my email tomorrow.

What, you’re not on my email list? Dangerously small thinking. But it can be fixed. Here’s the optin.

Weapons-grade copy that carries a wallop

by

Most rocks on earth contain 2 to 4 ppm of uranium. The worst that a uranium-bearing rock can do is split your head open.

But take many tons of rock, and cook it down to nothing. What you get is “weapons grade” uranium-235. Less than a kilogram of that stuff was enough to wipe out Hiroshima and about 80,000 people.

I bring up this gruesome fact to show you the power of distillation.

​​I started this email with a draft of 200 words. I’ve managed to cut it down to about 100. Because as John Caples said:

“Overwriting is the key. If you need a thousand words, write two thousand. Trim vigorously. Fact-packed messages carry a wallop.”

If you want to subscribe to my fact-packed email newsletter, click here.

 

Intuition pump

by

Let me share a fictional story I just read in an anarchist copywriter ezine:

One morning in a certain November, a man named John Bejakovic walked out onto his driveway and down to the mailbox.

All around, the street was empty, as it had been for days. His neighbors, like most people around the world, were in a panic, and stayed out of the open as much as possible.

Each night, experts on the teletron warned of unusual bursts of cosmic gamma rays. The experts said these gamma rays could cause serious DNA damage. And while some people seemed to handle the gamma rays just fine, others suffered for weeks with strange symptoms. Still others died.

John opened his mailbox. Among the usual junk mail — magalogs from Boardroom and Phillips Publishing — he saw a thin white envelope. He recognized it immediately. It was an occasional newsletter John was subscribed to, written and published by an expert in persuasive communication.

As always, on the top of the white envelope, in large black letters, there was a “teaser.” This week, it read:

“AN HONEST MISTAKE?”

John walked back inside, magalogs under his arm. He tossed the magalogs into the trash, sat down on the couch, and ripped open the envelope.

“I’ve been warning you all year long,” the newsletter started. “The world is finally starting to realize that the Great Gamma Ray Hysteria is nothing more than a seasonal flareup of space radiation. The question is, how did we get here?”

The newsletter then went into a bunch of reasoned arguments. John scratched his head, and scanned over the remaining pages. Expert opinion… statistics… data. Not only was this whole gamma ray thing not real, the newsletter argued, it was purposefully fabricated.

“Yawn,” John said out loud, even though nobody was in the room with him. “How could an expert in persuasive communication write something like this?”

John tossed the newsletter aside, and grabbed an issue of the New Yorker from the coffee table. He was in the middle of an article about philosopher Daniel Dennett. The article picked up:

“Arguments, Dennett found, rarely shift intuitions; it’s through stories that we revise our sense of what’s natural. (He calls such stories ‘intuition pumps.’) In 1978, he published a short story called ‘Where Am I?,’ in which a philosopher, also named Daniel Dennett, is asked to volunteer for a dangerous mission to disarm an experimental nuclear warhead.”

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” John said, slapping the page. He rushed to his writing desk and got out a piece of paper. “I’ll show him,” he said out loud, even though there was nobody else in that room either.

Hey it’s me again. I mostly wanted to share this fictional story because the main character has the same name as me. What are the odds?

But the story gets increasingly pornographic after this point, so I won’t bother reprinting it verbatim.

The gist of the action is that the guy started to write a letter to the persuasion expert. He wanted to complain about the boring newsletter. But he ripped the letter up because he realized he was making the same mistake of trying to make his point through argument.

So instead, he wrote a short story about unicorns, and about an evil wizard who poisons their meadow. He published his story in Teen Vogue, where it went viral, and wound up being read verbatim on the Dr. Oz teletron show.

What nobody realized is that the story was just an exercise — a trojan horse to make the same point about the gamma rays, but in a more persuasive way.

And after the story was read on Dr. Oz, people around the world had a mass change of heart and started walking out onto the streets again. And you can imagine how that went, with all the surging gamma radiation raining down from heaven.

Anyways, like I said, a fictional story. But I had to share it just because of the coincidence of the name. And who knows, maybe you can draw some value out of it.

Speaking of newsletters, I’ve also got one. It’s email, not paper, and it arrives every day, not only occasionally. Here’s the optin.

Easier, more powerful prospecting: Thinking like Jay Abraham

by

Back in 2006, Jay Abraham, aka “The 9 Billion Dollar Man,” interviewed Michael Fishman, aka “The World’s Greatest List Broker.”

I randomly came across a transcript of this interview a few days ago.

The interview was messy. Jay Abraham had to keep running to the toilet to pee. And he was talkative. For much of the interview, he riffed ad hoc while Michael, who was supposed to be the one sharing his expertise, just kept saying “um-hmmm.”

And yet, while it’s messy, this interview is pure gold.

It’s gold because of the unique insights Michael Fishman has about the psychology of direct response buyers. But the thing I want to share with you today is something Jay Abraham said, right at the end.

Because the whole purpose of this interview was to create a kind of calling card for Michael Fishman. A thing that demonstrates his knowledge and insights, that he could use to drum up new business.

So at the end, Jay Abraham, who might be world champion at spinning up lucrative business ideas, gave Michael two pieces of advice on what to do with the interview.

The second and I suspect less valuable piece of advice was to find potential clients, write to them and say, “A lot of people told me this tape opened up their eyes and made them a bunch of money, thought you might like it.”

This is good. It’s what many businesses, including many direct response businesses, are doing in essence.

But I think it pales in effectiveness to the first piece of advice that Jay gave Michael.

And that was for Michael to go to everybody he knows… ask them to make a list of people they would like to send this tape to… and then to send it, along with their letter of endorsement.

The mathematics definitely checks out. Because if you know a 100 people… and they know a 100 people… suddenly that becomes a very big space. One that you might have a hard time exploring on your own.

Just as important, the psychology checks out. Because there’s a huge wall in the human mind between “known” and “unknown.” And you want to be on the “known” side.

There’s a broader lesson here too. But I saved that for people who are subscribed to my daily email newsletter.

Do you know anybody who might like to get my newsletter? Please write them an email, telling them why, and linking them to this page. And if you yourself want to subscribe, click here.

The easy way to start making more money with copywriting

by

I recently read the plight of one newish copywriter. He is hoping to make the transition from “Hey, I write copy” to “Hey, I get XYZ results.”

That’s smart. It’s the easy way to start making more money with copywriting. But here’s the trouble:

This guy says none of his clients are sharing data with him. They seem to be using his copy. But when he follows up with them a few months down the line, they never respond about the sales his copy was responsible for.

I’ve been there and it sucks. So let me tell you what I did to deal with it:

1. Kept going. Eventually you’ll get to a client who will get value out of your work AND share the results with you.

2. Followed up with clients 3-4 weeks after I delivered the copy. “Have you had a chance to put it into production? How is it doing?” Don’t expect them to write you… and don’t wait months to write them. People forget, and they get lazy.

3. Kept learning and getting better on my own. Once clients really start getting results from your copy, it stops being “one-off.” It then becomes much easier to press them for the results of your copy.

4. Increased my rates. Better clients are more likely to share this kind of info with you.

5. Started working on my own side projects. You get all the data when you run your own small campaigns on Facebook, or send out emails to your own list.

Once upon a time, the name of the game in copywriting was “controls.” Today, there’s so much more work, and many successful copywriters are not writing for one of the big publishers. But it’s still helpful to throw out sales numbers that you can attribute to copy you wrote.

Claude Hopkins, one of the first people who got really rich as a copywriter, started out as a bookkeeper. He had the following insight to share about it. It still holds true — for both bookkeepers and copywriters:

“A bookkeeper is an expense. In every business expenses are kept down. I could never be worth more than any other man who could do the work I did. The big salaries were paid to salesmen, to the men who brought in orders, or to the men in the factory who reduced the costs. They showed profits, and they could command a reasonable share of those profits. I saw the difference between the profit-earning and the expense side of a business, and I resolved to graduate from the debit class.”

Maybe that’s gonna help you out. And here’s something else that might:

I write a daily email newsletter about copywriting and marketing. In case you want to subscribe, click here and fill the form out.

Plagiarizing on the shoulders of giants

by

Nobody called me out on it.

For the past four days, I’ve been sending out plagiarized emails. I would have kept going too, but I ran out of source material to abuse.

So on Saturday, I sent out the email “What I learned from copywriting.” That was plagiarized from James Altucher’s “What I learned from chess.”

On Sunday, I sent out “Stop caring what people think.” That was plagiarized from Jason Leister’s “Just tell me what to do.”

Monday was “Why I didn’t collect my $10.5 million.” That was plagiarized from Mark Ford’s “Why I wasn’t loyal to my broker.”

And yesterday I sent “How to create a selling style people love to read.” That was actually Ben Settle’s “How to create a writing style people love to buy from.”

If you are compulsively curious, track down the originals and then take a look at my plagiarized copies.

Because it’s not just subject line I plagiarized.

I plagiarized the content too. Especially the structure. Even entire sentences.

(By the way, I picked these four writers to plagiarize because 1) they send out more or less daily emails… and 2) they are the only people whose emails I more or less read each day.)

But here’s my point, and perhaps something that will benefit you:

I’ve spent a hundred hours or more hand-copying successful sales letters. I think this practice had some value. It forced me to slow down and actually read the damn things. But I don’t buy into the whole magic of “neural imprinting,” which is supposed to happen when you copy stuff by hand.

Instead, I’ve found plagiarizing to be much more useful.

Plagiarizing does double duty. It first forces me to look at copy critically, and ask, “What is this guy really doing here?”

For example, for the Jason Leister email, I came up with the following skeleton underlying the flesh of his writing:

* where I was before
* how that benefited others, why that was, all the wrong places I was looking
* realization of what will happen if I continue this same way
* what I do now
* what that does NOT mean
* bring it around to you
* analogy to reinforce
* diagnostic question you can ask yourself
* exposing all the reasons and assumptions that kept me where I was
* bigger consequences, or bigger context of this single issue
* inspirational takeaway if you do, and uninspirational takeaway if you don’t

I find this is much more effective than hand copying ads for learning. It seems to sink into my memory better, and it impacts how I write copy weeks and months later.

But that’s only half the exercise.

Because once you “chunk up,” you then have to “chunk down.” You actually write a new piece of copy with the same skeleton.

And that’s what I mean by double duty. Not only does this exercise help me learn… but it also produces a serviceable piece of copy. Often, it produces something better than what I would have written on my own.

With plagiarizing, I’m earning while I’m learning. Which is why, if you’re looking to get better at copywriting, I recommend shameless plagiarism to you too.

You can plagiarize my stuff if you want. Here’s the optin for my daily email newsletter.