Sean D’Souza

“Coaching crickets” so loud you cannot hear the quiet “maybe”

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Before bed this past week, I’ve been reading a book about direct marketing. A couple nights ago, I read the following:

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You need to identify all the categories of solutions available to your prospect. Make a list of their pros and cons. Your job is then to close all the doors to buying other solutions by identifying all the ways your solution is better than all those other solutions.

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“WOW,” I said out loud. “This is GREAT advice! I should totally do this with my newsletter and with the offers I make!”

Then I shrank back a bit, and looked around my bedroom to make sure nobody had heard me.

I realized what I’d read is perfectly normal, commonplace advice about any kind of selling.

In fact, back when I used to write lots of advertorials and sales pages for clients, this kind of “dismissing alternatives” was a major part of my research process, which took probably 60% of the entire time I devoted to any copy project.

And yet…

A different part of the brain is involved when you’re solving a problem for other people than when you’re solving a problem for yourself. At least that’s how I explain to myself why I never think to apply things I knew to do so well for clients to my own newsletter and my own offers.

I once heard marketer Sean D’Souza say:

“If you wanna solve your problems, go and solve somebody else’s problems.”

That’s one reason why I recently started offering 1:1 coaching.

Of course, there are other good reasons too.

For one, doing 1:1 coaching gets me talking to the most motivated and proactive people in my audience, which makes me feel much better about what I’m doing in the world, and the impact my ideas and work can have.

For two, 1:1 coaching is market research. It exposes me to my audience’s problems, objections, and desires in a way that I never woulda thought up.

For three is that thing Sean D’Souza says. I’ve realized that my best advice to others is really advice I myself should be following as well, but that, for mysterious neurological reasons, I could never give to myself directly.

I just gave you three good reasons why you too should consider offering coaching, if you’re not doing it already.

Only one problem:

Like I wrote a couple days ago, “coaching” is actually a terrible offer.

The only way “coaching” sells is if you have built so much status or bond with your audience that they are basically buying YOU, in spite of that vague and unattractive “coaching” offer you made.

(That’s why I can kinda sorta get away with it.)

But what if you don’t have the same level of status and bond with your list yet?

From what I’ve heard among people on my list and inside Daily Email House, it’s a real problem. As one House member put it:

“I have thrown coaching to my list before, but the crickets were so loud I couldn’t hear the quiet ‘maybe.'”

A couple days ago, I talked about a new and 100% different offer you can make instead of “coaching.”

It’s a transmutation of “coaching” into something else, which sells better, is easier to deliver, and still gets you all the benefits I listed above.

Could this be something you’re interested in?

If so, hit reply and let me know.

Yes, I am selling something here ultimately. And if you hit reply and express the smallest bit of interest, my crack team of D2D salesmen will immediately descend on your front lawn, set up camp, and start a round-the-clock door knocking campaign…

No, none of that.

If you do reply and express interest, I will simply reply back, in order to find out a bit more about you, so I can see if this “alternative to coaching” could be useful to you.

If I think it can be, I will give you the full details.

If you like the sound of it, you can take me up on what I’m selling.

If it’s not a fit for any reason, you can tell me no. You won’t hurt my feelings, or sour this relationship we’ve got going on.

Does that sounds like something you can bear?

Then ask yourself whether a different, easier-to-sell offer instead of coaching could be valuable to you. If it could, hit reply and tell me so.

My personal help

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Yesterday, I hosted the final Q&A call for the last-ever live cohort of my Copy Riddles program. There were beers and tears involved (well, beers).

At the end of the call, I asked if anybody had any final comments or questions before we end. Shawn Cartwright, who runs the online martial arts school TCCII, spoke up to say:

“I really appreciate the comments and Q&A and the video. Will you consider doing an unlisted playlist so we can go back and take a look? It’s not just… I actually will go back and look at some of these.”

Like I told Shawn and the rest of the guys on the call, I definitely will create a playlist out of all the call recordings. And probably more.

The fact is, one of the reasons I did live Q&A calls for Copy Riddles is because people on such calls tend to ask good questions… and I tend to give good answers. And when I give a good answer to somebody else’s question, I often realize I am speaking to myself as much as to the person who asked the question.

My point is that we’re all talking about ourselves, all the time, regardless of what we appear to be saying on the surface.

That fact, if you choose to believe it, can be useful to you if you are listening to what your customers are saying, and if you want a better insight into who they are and what they want… and it can useful to you if you do like I do, and give advice to people, only to realize it’s advice you should be taking as well.

As I’ve heard marketer Sean D’Souza say, “If you wanna solve your own problems, go solve somebody else’s.”

Because of all this, I decided to bring back an offer I ran only ran once, last year, called Unstuck Sessions.

I got the idea for it from marketer Travis Sago.

In a nutshell:

If you’ve got a problem or a challenge, or if you’re stuck — in your financial situation, in your business, career, or life — maybe I can help you get unstuck?

I’ve long said that for a business owner, 60% of the value of bringing in a professional copywriter is the value of an outside perspective.

Something similar here.

The offer is, you and I get on a Zoom call and talk. I ask questions. You unburden yourself and vent. I spot and challenge assumptions you might not even realize you’re making.

The goal is to get you over your challenge and get you unstuck, ideally, in an easy and natural way, without having to simply grin and bear the pain of whatever you’re doing now until things change or get better or lighting strikes.

As for why you’d want me to help you get unstuck, I won’t try to convince you much there.

If you’ve been reading my emails, if you feel like I have knowledge or experience or simply a point of view that can be useful for you, then you’ll probably know if this is for you.

I’ll be doing four Unstuck Sessions over the next month. They will not be free, but will not be prohibitively expensive either.

If you’re interested, the first step is to hit reply and tell me who you are and in a sentence or two what you’re stuck with.

If it’s something I think I have anything meaningful and helpful to say, and if there are still any Unstuck Sessions left, we can the take it further. Thanks in advance.

Keeping my streak alive

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I’m on the couch as I write this, under a blanket, with my eyes closing and opening every few seconds. I’m more tired than I’ve been in years.

I picked up some kind of sickness yesterday. All night long, I was running a fever and generally feeling awful.

So I will keep today’s email short, but I wanted to send it out nonetheless.

For one thing, I know that at least a few people look forward to my emails, and write me in rare cases my emails don’t arrive on time.

For another, I am now selling a service called Daily Email Habit, so I figure I should practice what I preach.

Finally, I have an interesting article to share with you.

It’s by Sean D’Souza, an online marketer who’s been at it since before YouTube was created.

Sean runs his business in an unusual way. It’s just him and his wife Renuka. They purposely cap their annual income at $500k so they can take three month-long vacations each year, travel around without doing anything for their business during those vacation times, and see the world before returning to sheep-covered New Zealand where they live.

Sean can do this because he has an understanding of the fundamentals of persuasion and online business, on a deeper level than most other people I know of. The article I’m about to share with you is proof of that.

If you’re interested to find out why negotiation regularly fails in the real world, in spite of “negative striplines” and “yes ladders” and BATNAS, you might find this interesting:

https://www.psychotactics.com/why-negotiation-fails/

Riveting, personal story to fill my mistake quota

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Hold on to your seat, and prepare to be riveted by the following true and very personal story:

Two days ago, I meet up with my friend Adrian. Adrian suggests we go out to dinner tonight, just him, me, and my dad. (Adrian is also friends with my dad.)

I say fine.

Adrian and my dad and I text yesterday to confirm the place and time for the dinner. We quickly agree.

But then it turns out Adrian’s wife would like to join also, along with their 3-year old daughter. Oh, and can we move dinner three hours earlier because of his daughter’s bed time?

I’m not thrilled by the idea — the early dinner, the wife, the kid. I honestly tell Adrian the earlier time doesn’t work well because I also have a family lunch to go to in the afternoon.

He says he’ll check with the wife.

Throughout the rest of yesterday, there’s more tussling over WhatsApp. And then finally, in the early evening hours, Adrian decides to go back to the original plan, the original time, and the original company for the dinner.

TA-DAAA! The end.

Now that you’ve read this, I want to apologize. I know this story was only riveting in how stupid it was.

​​But how else to get the following point across in a way that sticks?

A couple months ago, I bought a book called Suddenly Talented by Sean D’Souza.

Sean you might know — he’s an Internet marketer who’s been in the game since before Google, and I’ve written about him often in this newsletter.

Sean is best known for his unorthodox marketing ideas. But he’s branched out also — to courses and workshops about cartooning, photography, and learning and skill acquisition, which is what Suddenly Talented is about.

I actually haven’t read Sean’s book yet.

​​But there’s a WhatsApp group for everyone who’s bought the book, where Sean holds court and explains his ideas about how to get good at anything, and quick.

One idea will probably be familiar to you — it’s to get okay with making mistakes, whether you’re drawing, learning a new language, or trying to write a daily email.

But Sean takes it one step further.

​​In his own workshops, he actually gives his students a mistake quota.

​​​In other words, he tells his students that they have to actively and consciously make a certain number of mistakes before he will let them even attempt to do the thing right.

Result? I don’t know, but I can guess:

1. People loosen up. They realize that a mistake is not as fatal as it might seem in their imagination.

2. People actually learn something, by actively dancing around the “right” thing to do. In the words of Claude Debussy, music is the space between the notes.

“Fine fine,” you might say, “enough with the poetry. Does this really work?”

I don’t know. But it sounded interesting enough to give it a try. That’s why I opened with the pointless and uninteresting story above.

Don’t open your emails like I did.

Or do. Do it to teach yourself that hey, even a terrible email doesn’t really cost me anything, and hey, maybe I’ll even learn something by doing things wrong.

Are you convinced? Are you not convinced? It’s okay either way.

But in case this email triggered something in your brain, you might want to check out my Most Valuable Email training. It comes with a swipe file of 51 interesting ideas, many of which have proven valuable to me and to the people who have gone through MVE, sometimes even paying for the entire course.

If you’d like to find out more:

https://bejakovic.com/mve

How to write a better cold outreach message

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Today, I got an email from somebody I don’t know with the subject line, “Need an intern?” I opened it. It read:

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Hi John,

I think I originally came across you via a Google search after reading Peter Tzemis’s blog. I like your writing style, and I was curious if you need anyone to help you with anything? I want to get hands on experience with direct response.

I currently write on [link to guy’s personal musings Substack]. Let me know if this is of any interest to you.

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I heard marketer Sean D’Souza say a smart thing once.

If you have a problem in your business, says Sean, don’t work on fixing it. Instead, work on fixing somebody else’s business.

Somehow, we’re all blinded by our own unique circumstances. It makes it hard to see the right thing to do.

It’s much easier when looking at other people’s circumstances. Figure out how to help others, and you figure out how to help yourself.

I’m telling you this because maybe you would like to connect with people you don’t know.

Maybe you’re looking for clients, or for an opportunity to get your message out, or you’re just trying to build your network.

Cold email can open lots of doors. But maybe it’s not opening doors for you right now.

So here’s your chance.

Figure out how you might fix the approach of the guy who wrote me above.

I can tell you I didn’t take him up on him on his intern offer.

​​In fact, I didn’t even respond to his email, and I make a habit of responding to almost everyone who writes me.

What could he have done differently?

Think about it, and maybe you can help yourself. And if you like, write in with your best idea, and I can tell you my opinion on whether it would have made a difference or no.

How to get free coffee for six

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I’m in Lisbon. For the second time ever in my life. ​​I’m here for a meetup organized by Sean D’Souza. For the second time ever in my life.

In case you don’t know Sean, he is a marketer who’s been online since before Google went public. And he’s still at it.

​​Sean and his wife Renuka run Psychotactics, a genuinely unique and genuinely valuable website, blog, email newsletter, and podcast.

Sean and Renuka decided a long while ago that they wanted to cap their income — the last I heard, they make $500k a year and that’s it.

On the flip side, they take three months of vacation a year — work three months, travel for one month.

They normally live in New Zealand, but last year during one of their vacation months they traveled around Spain (the first meetup I went to was in Seville).

This year, they are traveling for a month around Portugal. And that’s how and why I am Lisbon today.

Yesterday was the the meetup. There were six of us:

#1 Sean…

​​​#​2 Renuka…

​​#​​3 A Portuguese entrepreneur with a miracle household product she is trying to get onto a world market…

​​#4 A German fitness trainer and app creator…

​​#5 An English bass guitar teacher who has been selling courses online almost as long as Sean has (and who had actually heard of me, via Kieran Drew, and via my love of the Princess Bride)…

​​#6 Me.

Not in attendance, but somebody who was supposed to come until the very last minute, was Internet marketer André Chaperon. That would have been a kind of thrill for me, because André was how I got into copywriting, and his AutoResponder Madness was the first email copywriting course I ever went through.

Anyways, let me jump from the intro to the outro:

​​After three hours of sitting in the cafe of Sean and Runuka’s boutique hotel, and talking about all kinds of things business, marketing, and persuasion, we got up from the cafe and left without paying.

I didn’t know anything about it. I assumed Sean had paid for our coffees, but he didn’t. Instead, we just smiled at the two waitresses who had been serving us, thanked them, and walked out.

The coffees we had consumed didn’t go on any kind of tab. The waitresses knew we didn’t pay. And yet they didn’t complain, and in fact were happy with the situation.

The question then is, how do you get free coffee for six?

I would tell you the answer, but I’m afraid you would groan and say, “Oh come on.” Because the answer is very simple, very obvious, and you’ve probably heard it as advice a million times before.

But maybe you’re still curious, and you really would like to know how to get free coffee for six, even if the answer is simple, obvious, and familiar.

If so, I’ll make you a deal:

Write in and tell me a frustration you’re currently having. It can be big or small. It can have to do with business, marketing, persuasion — or it can have nothing to do with any of those things.

I’m not offering any kind of solution to your frustration. But I am curious, and I am willing to listen. And in exchange, I’ll write you back and I’ll tell you how to get free coffee for six.

Gift-box theory of marketing

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A few days ago, I bought the ticket for my second-ever Sean D’Souza meetup, this coming April, in Lisbon, Portugal.

Sean, as you might know, is an old-school online marketer who has been selling info courses about marketing since 2002.

The first meetup of his I attended, in Seville in Spain last year, was great.

I met a Hungarian who runs a dental clinic in Budapest, Hungary. We bonded over the fact that I lived in Budapest for a long time and had only good things to say about the place.

I guess he was grateful. Because in return, he told me his story and opened my eyes as to what marketing really is and how powerful it can be.

I’m about to share a part of this guy’s very clever marketing strategy for his dental clinic.

I can’t overstate how valuable and cool it is, at least if you’re into marketing.

What I’m about to write is worth reading closely, and remembering, and pondering. Here goes:

For years, the Hungarian ran a highly successful dental clinic doing dental tourism. He built the business on Google ads. Swiss or Brits came in to get their teeth fixed at a discount while enjoying a fancy hotel in Budapest.

And then, corona came. Lockdowns. Travel shut down entirely, as did most businesses.

After a few weeks, dental clinics in Hungary were allowed to reopen. But international travel to Hungary remained closed, which meant dental tourism was out. The Hungarian’s dental clinic had all these fixed costs, and no patients.

So he paced the floor of his empty clinic… he paced… and paced… and he came up with a plan.

He decided to create an entirely new dental business serving only locals. And how.

Within six weeks, he filled the entire practice… without running any ads, which had become super expensive because all the other clinics were running them… without tapping any prior customers or network… without begging masked people on the street to come in for a free cleaning… without creating content… without becoming a social media influencer… without paying other such influencers to promote him.

Pause for a moment.

Ask yourself.

How would you do the same?

How would you get dozens or hundreds of new patients, ready to pay you large sums of money, within just a few weeks, starting with nothing, except the tools of actually delivering the service, and your knowledge of human psychology?

Here’s how the Hungarian did it:

He started approaching the offices up and down the busy street where his offices sat. He would ask to speak to the CEO or to some other top exec and say:

“I have a dental clinic nearby. I’m going to write an email to promote my clinic to your employees…”

So far, so bleh. But this next part is not:

“… and I want you to send it, in your own name. It’s a pandemic outside. People are scared. Even small infections could compromise their immune system, and could prove to be deadly. So I want you to say that you, Mr. CEO, were thinking about your employees, and you reached out to us, and fought to get us to offer a special deal, a huge discount, to your employees to check if they have any dental problems. This is about healthy teeth of course, but in the present moment, it can keep your employees from getting sick or dying. You are doing it because you care.”

Pretty good, right? ​​

​​Good, but not a sure shot. ​​Mr. CEO might want to look good to his employees, but he might also have bigger, more pressing problems to deal with.

​​So the dental clinic owner continued with his pitch to Mr. CEO:

“Because of the lockdowns, your business is not operating right now. You are not making money. The fact is, when your employees come to us for their checkup, most of them are sure to have dental problems that will require further work. We will charge them a fair price for this work. And we will give you 10% of these fees to help you out, so you have cash during this hard time, while your business is frozen.”

Result?

Like I said, an entirely new business, a full clinic, highly profitable, in just 6 weeks time.

After the Hungarian told me this, I marveled for a while. And I came up with what I call gift-box theory.

Imagine a collection of beautiful gift boxes. Imagine the small lump of coal you want to sell.

Your small lump of coal might not be very attractive on its own (“I want you to promote my business to your employees”).

So you put your lump in one gift box (“be a hero to your employees”). But no need to stop there. You can then put that gift box into a second gift box (“… and make money at it too”).

Each market has its own set of beautiful gift boxes that they care about, that mean something to them, that tap into their emotional responses.

Your small lump of coal probably means nothing to your prospects. So it is your job as marketer to identify the gift boxes that your market responds to, and then to stack a combination of them in such a way that the entire experience — lump of coal inside a sequence of gift boxes — thrills your prospect.

Actually, there was more to the Hungarian’s story — more gift boxes, more smart and clever and free marketing they continued to do after this initial effort, which grew their business even larger.

But I’ve already shared too much. I wouldn’t normally write so long or share this much how-to information. But I profited from that Sean D’Souza meetup. I’m sure to profit from the next one. And so I wanted to give you something valuable as well.

That said, what I’ve just done is not a good sales email. It’s not what I recommend doing in my Simple Money Emails course. Therefore, I do not expect you to buy anything from me today. But if you want to prove me wrong, here’s more info on everything I offer right now:

https://bejakovic.com/showroom/

What everybody should know about this fixing problems business

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Going back to the imposter phenomenon article I wrote about a couple days ago:

Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes are two psychologists who first coined, defined, and publicized the idea of imposter phenomenon, which later grew in the public mind into imposter syndrome.

What can you do if you want to get rid of those feelings of being a fake? The Internet is full of advice. Here’s what Clance and Imes themselves found to work in their clinical practices:

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Clance has seen clients healed not by success but by the kind of resonance she found with Imes. Bolstered and sustained by group therapy with other women — it’s easier to believe other women aren’t impostors — they can then bring this recognition of others’ delusion back to themselves.

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In other words, if you feel like a fake, and you don’t want to feel like a fake no more, then the answer is not to push on even harder. The answer is— well, let me get into the marketing and business advice now.

Last week, I went to a meetup in Seville hosted by Sean D’Souza. The meetup lasted for three hours and lots of ideas came up. At the end of it all, I decided to take just four of those many ideas and remember them. One of those four is exactly that Clance and Imes realization, but applied to your business.

If you have a problem in your business, says Sean, don’t work on fixing it. Instead, work on fixing somebody else’s business.

This isn’t a matter of being altruistic, or of “serving” others as a means to getting what you want.

It’s simply a fact of human psychology: There are different pathways in our brains that go into thinking about ourselves and what belongs to us, and thinking about others and their stuff. We know this because some unlucky bastard in 19th-century America got a metal stake driven through his eye socket, taking out a large chunk of his brain. He lived on without seeming harm. But he became terrible at making decisions in his own life — all while still being able to give perfectly sane advice to others.

It also works without the metal stake in your eye socket.

Like Clance and Imes found, so has Sean D’Souza found – it’s easier to see what other businesses could do better — and then bring this recognition of others’ opportunities back to your own business.
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So try that.

And now, since I’ve already referred to two topics I’ve written about over the past week, let me end with a third such topic:

Three days ago, I ran a little poll in this newsletter. I asked readers which of three group coaching/workshops they might be most interested in.

The results are in. And the winner, both in terms of the total number of votes, and in terms of being most in line with what I want to do with this newsletter, is a group coaching/workshop on email copywriting.

I’m not offering this group coaching/workshop yet. I also haven’t decided when I will.

But if this is something you are interested in, then the only way to get in, once I do offer it, is to be on my email list. To do that, click here and sign up.

One more day

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I had today’s email 90% written this morning before I went to for the meetup organized by Sean D’Souza. ​​Now, after the meetup, my head is swimming so I decided to put finishing that email on hold. Instead, let me share just one surprising idea I heard today.

“When are you traveling back to Barcelona?” Sean asked me. I told him, tomorrow night.

Sean explained. “The value of a meet up or conference is in the plane ride home. There are always people who leave right after the event and I always tell them it’s such a waste. Better to take an extra day, stay in that place, walk around.”

Sean’s point is that when you go to a conference or a meetup or an in-person course, you get exposed to dozens or hundreds of ideas.

It’s possible you knew many of these ideas before, but somehow they have more impact now. They are presented in a new setting, when you’re out of your routine, when you’re paying more attention, when you’re more able and willing to be influenced.

But which one or two of the hundreds of new ideas should you focus on? And how to make them relevant in what you specifically are doing?

That’s work for your brain to figure out, while you enjoy and relax and sight-see and keep yourself out of your routine for one more day.

And then, on the plane ride home, something emerges, like Excalibur in the hand of the Lady of the Lake, rising above the surface that separates your conscious awareness from all the dark and deep brain processes underneath.

So that’s what I’m gonna do. Maybe tomorrow, on my flight home, I will experience some sort of breakthrough or moment of insight. Or maybe not. In any case, Seville is very cute, almost unbelievably so. I’m going to go enjoy it today.

Meanwhile, if by chance you need or want copywriting skills, you might be interested in what I offer inside my Copy Riddles course. For more info on that:

https://bejakovic.com/cr

I fly to Sevilla to meet Sean D’Souza

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I’m on the plane as I write this, wedged into the middle seat, surrounded by dozens of conversations in Catalan and Spanish, waiting for the plane to take off. ​​I’m flying from Barcelona to Sevilla. The occasion is a meet-up organized by Sean D’Souza.

Sean is literally a legend in my world. Because Sean is an online marketer, and because he was already successful back when I was just getting started and knew nothing about nothing — except that there are successful people like Sean.

But even now that I know something more, Sean is still worth looking to and learning from. Because he does things differently from everybody else.

I remember a talk Sean gave for Ken McCarthy’s System Club. Over the course of an hour, Sean laid out his counterintuitive but effective, consumption-over-conversion way to run his info publishing business.

At the end of the presentation, somebody in the audience raised his hand. “This all sounds great Sean,” the audience member said. “But do you have any numbers to show your consumption-first approach works better than what we are all doing already?”

Without any bluster, Sean said, “I’m not trying to prove anything to you. If you find this consumption idea works for you, use it. If it doesn’t work for you, no problem.”

By the way, I’ve found that to be a great attitude to take whenever people ask me to explain myself. It doesn’t have to be confrontational, and it doesn’t have to be stated explicitly. ​​But anyways, let me get back on track:

I’ve largely taken Sean’s consumption-first message to heart.

​​It informs how I write this newsletter and how I run my own little info publishing business.

​​And it’s part of the reason why today, some five years after I first heard Sean’s System Club talk, I am willing to get on a plane and fly to another city, just because I like the idea of having coffee with Sean and having a person-to-person conversation with him.

Maybe, like that guy in Sean’s audience, you say that sounds great — for me. But maybe you prefer hard conversion rates and sales numbers and certainty that what you are doing is the proven way to success in marketing.

In that case, let me point you to my Copy Riddles program. It’s all about proven sales numbers and hard conversion rates.

Copy Riddles is the pinnacle of the Darwinian evolution of direct response copywriting, reached through millions of dollars in tested advertising, and boiled down to improbable but highly potent combinations of just a few dozen words, also known as bullets.

If you feel like running a numbers-based, conversion-first marketing business, Copy Riddles can quickly get key copywriting skills into your head.

On the other hand, if you like running a fuzzy, numbers-optional, consumption-first marketing business, it also make good senses to get those key copywriting skills into your head, and early.

It’s what I’ve done, and it’s what Sean did also. If you read his his blog or his paid products, you will see frequent reference to and use of copywriting principles and ideas, taken from A-list copywriters and marketers.

In any case, I’m not here to prove anything to you. But if are interested in Copy Riddles and in getting copywriting skills into your head, here’s where to go:

https://bejakovic.com/cr