John Carlton

A harmless but effective trick used for decades by the most daring and successful copywriters in the world

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I did everything they told me to do.

I snuck around at night, posting bandit signs, hoping nobody would see me… I spent hours driving around, searching for junky abandoned houses… I went into places of business and, when nobody was looking, because it’s embarrassing, I put fliers on bulletin boards.

You know… all the methods that are supposed to work. Except they didn’t.

That’s a bit from a VSL I wrote last year in the real estate investing space. It’s a typical story — I tried all the usual stuff, it was confusing and humiliating and got me nowhere… then I hit upon something new and different.

Typical. What’s not typical is the guy who was telling this story:

He is a bona fide Green Beret.

​​He served in the U.S. Army Special Forces for 10 years in Afghanistan and Iraq and various classified locations. Then he got out of the army, and worked as a firefighter for a while. Then he decided to make money. So he started investing in real estate and spun off a bunch of businesses and became a multi-millionaire.

But at the start, as he told me, he was confused and unsuccessful and ashamed.

A Green Beret! Confused and ashamed!

Is it any wonder you feel the same?

The fact is, people in almost any direct response market feel shame, whether openly or deep down. How else can they respond to having a burning problem… which they’ve failed to solve, over and over?

If you’re writing copy, there are several ways you can deal with this. The weakest is to tell people, “It’s not your fault.” Fortunately, better options exist.

One is to have a real-life action hero tell you, “It was the same for me. Here, let me take you under my wing and show you what really works.”

This does two things. First, it calms that burning sense of “must be something uniquely wrong with me.” Second, it allows the reader to tap into a new source of pride. Hey! I’m now in this inner circle with a real-life commando!

And in case you’re wondering if this really works:

This VSL increased response 3x over the control. In all fairness, a part of that impressive result was the flimsiness of the control. But a part of it was capitalizing on this guy’s action-hero status and his early struggles with real estate.

“Great,” you might say. “All I need now is a sensitive and vulnerable Green Beret. Thanks for nothing.”

Hold on. No Green Beret… no problem. Take a look at this John Carlton bullet:

* Amazing trick that instantly eliminates “performance anxiety” in men! (Used for centuries by the most daring and successful lovers in the world… see page 112.)

It’s the same damn thing as above. The only difference is… who are these daring and successful lovers?

Well, the book John was selling gives a few case studies of guys who overcame performance flop.

Are they the most daring and successful lovers in the world?

Perhaps.

Or perhaps John was burning with shame at how vanilla his bullet was… so he resorted to a bit of puffery to create mystery and intrigue.

It’s a harmless but effective trick… and if it’s good enough for a legendary and super-rich copywriter like John, well…

In case you want more shame-reducing copy tactics, particularly around the topic of real estate investing, here’s a tip.

I write a daily email newsletter. Marketing, persuasion, copywriting, that kind of thing. If you’re interested, here’s where to sign up.

The story behind Gary Halbert’s “foreplay secret”

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In 2004, Gary Halbert wrote a sales letter for a book he had published, titled Killer Orgasms. And in this sales letter, Gary had the following bullet:

* A little known foreplay secret (only recently revealed by a world famous female sex therapist) that gives a man a foolproof method which makes certain his woman will have an explosive orgasm… every time they make love!

If you read Gary’s book, which I’ve done, you will find no reference to a world-famous female sex therapist.

​​So where the hell did Gary get that bit? Did he just write the bullets, expecting to fill in the book later, and just forgot to include the therapist?

It turns out no.

Rather, Gary didn’t really write that bullet. Instead, he was copying John Carlton, and a sales letter John wrote back around 1997.

​​John’s sales letter was for a Rodale book titled, Sex: A Man’s Guide. Here’s the original bullet:

* The “Pre-Coital Secret” (only recently made public by a famous female sex therapist) that breaks the code on giving any woman an explosive orgasm… every time you make love! Page 114.

So what’s going on?

Sex: A Man’s Guide sold well for Rodale. But I guess it didn’t fit well into their product catalog.

So within a couple of years, Rodale was no longer publishing the Sex book. The book went on to be published by Berkley Books, which is part of the Penguin Group. As far as I understand, that almost certainly means John’s sales letter was no longer being mailed — and never would be again.

And since Gary and John were partners, Gary took John’s bullets, twisted a few words, and there was his ad. Including the world-famous-but-absent female sex therapist.

Now here’s why this story may be relevant to you:

If you’re working for a client, and you see that they are not using or abusing an asset to its full potential… then maybe that’s an opportunity for you to step in.

And no, I’m not saying to steal your client’s business. But if your client cannot or will not take advantage of a certain opportunity, and there are plenty such, then I feel there’s no moral boundary being transgressed if you jump all over it.

And maybe you can even reuse some of the marketing. Just remember to take out the incriminating therapist.

By the way, I’m writing about this because it’s near to my heart. As I wrote a while ago, a client I work for is not taking advantage of several seemingly profitable opportunities.

So should I jump all over these opportunities?

​​Maybe.

But I first need a Gary Halbert to my John Carlton. So if you’ve got skills (particularly media buying) or if you’ve got money (particularly, money that’s not going to next month’s rent or child support), then maybe you and I should talk.

How to get your worst customers or clients foaming with rage at you and impotent to do anything about it

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I was walking home down a dark street just now. It was empty and quiet and I was lost in thought when — screaming and scratching — a cat scrambled out of a dumpster right next to me and bolted away.

I won’t lie. The bitch startled me. I might have missed a step and my heart definitely missed two beats.

I cursed out the cat and collected myself. I turned around to make sure nobody saw me in my unmanly state. And I picked up my path home, still a little alarmed.

“But what about the cat?” I thought. “I bet I gave her a good scare, too. Must be why she bolted like that! But she deserved it.” And a sly smile spread across my face.

You might think I’m a miserable person to gloat over possibly scaring a cat. Perhaps you’re right. But I’m reporting the more shameful parts of my life to bring you an idea. A copywriting idea. A copywriting idea which I think might be powerful.

It goes like this:

1. Think of your prospect

2. Think of other people who are around your prospect, and who are causing your prospect fear, harm, humiliation, despair, etc.

3. Write your headline: Here’s how to cause fear, harm, humiliation, despair, etc. to those other people

You may this is deranged. Again, perhaps you’re right. But aren’t you at least curious to see this idea in action? If so, here are three successful examples:

1. Gary Halbert. Selling his own newsletter. His prospect? Anybody who’s trying to sell something… and is finding it frustrating or even humiliating. Gary’s headline:

How to make people line up and beg you to take their money!

2. A top Clickbank offer right now, called His Secret Obsession. It’s targeted at women. Who want to win a man’s “love, attention, and total devotion for LIFE.” But not just any man! There’s a very specific guy these women have in mind, because (my guess)… they are OBSESSED.

3. John Carlton. Like Gary, John also poked into dark places of the soul. It might be horrible… but it works. Even to sell golf instructional videos:

How Does An Out-Of-Shape 55-Year-Old Golfer, Crippled By Arthritis And 71 Lbs. Overweight, Still Consistently Humiliate PGA Pros In Head-To-Head Matches By Hitting Every Tee Shot Further And Straighter Down The Fairway?

“The answer will shock and delight you!” writes John.

​​I bet. After all, just imagine. You’re not as disadvantaged as this overweight, crippled golfer… and Tom, Dick, and Horace down at the country club definitely aren’t PGA pros… so the humiliation will be immense! But they deserve it.

By the way, if you’re curious about the “How to” promise in my headline today… you can find these special client management strategies inside my daily email newsletter. Here’s where to sign up.

The “2-sentence persuasion secret” that A-list copywriters know and you don’t

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I’ve got a “2-sentence persuasion” secret I’d like to tell you, which I extracted straight from the head of John Carlton, and which will help you write killer sales copy, for more sales in less time.

Interested?

If you say yes, then I say… I’m not surprised. Hear me out.

I took my own advice from a few days ago. And I looked at the top three guys in the “copywriting course” space. I wanted to see how they sell their stuff.

And by the top three, I mean Stefan Georgi with his RMBC course… Ben Settle with his Copy Slacker course… and Derek Johanson with his Copy Hour course.

(If your blood pressure just shot up because you believe these three are NOT the top guys in the “copywriting course” market… fine. You’re probably right. I just feel that, for people who might be potential customers for my bullets course — name still TBD — the above three are my top competitors.)

Anyways:

I looked at their sales pages. And I told my brain to search for commonalities. Here’s what it came back with:

1. Mechanism. All three sales letters prominently feature a mechanism — it’s actually the name of all three courses.

2. Authority. Beyond mechanism, all three rely on authority to wow you. Stefan’s page is all about his own authority and the massive sales he’s made… while Ben and Derek defer to A-list copywriters for their implied or direct endorsement of the mechanism.

3. The promise. Both Stefan and Ben basically say, “More sales in less time.” Derek’s promise is more vague — killer sales copy, and ultimate success. Perhaps he’s just targeting a slightly different audience than Ben and Stefan.

So my point for you is:

This kind of research is something you too can do… and it might prove valuable in helping you define your promise and your positioning.

Or it might not.

I’m not sure if I will really go with “2-sentence persuasion” and all that other stuff when promoting my bullets course. Because even though Ben, Stefan, and Derek are all successful in selling their courses… I bet the copy is not a major part of why those courses sell.

Instead, I think it’s about the relationships those guys have with their lists… their reputation in the market… their word-of-mouth endorsements.

That’s why you can’t really trust most online copy. Sure, it can give you good ideas. But it’s worth testing anything you find, and making sure it actually works for you.

By the way, if you are interested in killer copy and more sales and less time, and you’re curious about my 2-sentence persuasion approach… then sign up for my newsletter. That’s where I will send out announcements once this offer becomes available.

A copy riddle with a swipe file prize

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Here’s a copy riddle for you:

Gary Halbert called it the only reason that people buy from an ad, for the most part…

While Ben Settle said that copywriting is all about this one thing.

Parris Lampropoulos credits his success to it. And drilling this one thing is how he spends 80% of his time with his copy cubs.

David Deutsch said it’s the “key to the kingdom”…

And John Carlton believes it makes the difference between a sale made and a sale lost.

So my riddle for you is, what is this one thing?

I gave this riddle to people on my email newsletter. And the people who got it right got a prize.

The prize was a link to the best publicly available swipe file I have ever found. And no, it’s not swiped.co.

In my opinion, the swipe file I have in mind is about 100x better, based on the quality and quantity of ads you can find inside… many of which are only available today as bonuses to expensive copywriting and marketing courses.

Sometimes, I run little contests and challenges like this, as a way to keep my newsletter fun and profitable. If you’d like to try out my newsletter, both to see whether you like the content, and so you can participate in the next little riddle challenge, then click here and fill out the form.

BEJ cage match: Derek Johanson vs. John Carlton

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Over the past 24 hours, I got two interesting emails in conflict with each other.

The first email is from Derek Johanson, the guy who created Copy Hour. Derek’s email is about how much of direct response copy is “over-the-top bad,” with claims of “effortless” results. Or as Derek puts it, “pop a pill, overnight success type stuff.”

Derek’s message is that we can and should do better.

Then there’s an email that John Carlton sent. Carlton probably needs no introduction. But if you’re new to direct response, then know that John Carlton is one of the most successful and influential copywriters of all time. He writes:

“Most humans are a walking shrink session, with all their deepest and most humiliating secrets just spewing off of them all the time. […] Most folks just stumble through life half-asleep. Too caught up inside their own heads to realize what’s actually going on at the meta-level. […] Knowing this, you automatically have an enormous advantage in all negotiations. Something to put in your tool kit, anyway.”

Of course, both Derek and John are right. Most direct response copy is pretty awful. And that’s because, if it works, it probably speaks to your prospect’s deepest and darkest insecurities.

Prod at somebody’s insecurities… and you’ll see him at his most grateful, passionate, engaged, hopeful, and willing to spend money.

But are you doing your prospect a service in this way?

You can claim you are. Obviously he responds intensely… and you might be able to help.

Or you can claim you are not. After all, you are poking into a wound and making sure it never heals.

So what’s the conclusion?

I think it’s a personal choice you have to make. And I think it runs deeper than just how ugly and hard-hitting you are willing to make your copy.

Should we look for acceptance and gratitude of what we have, like a cow on a pasture? Or is there value in endless striving, like a hamster in a wheel?

I have my own esoteric opinion on this matter. But that’s getting into quirky stuff… and it’s probably not why you signed up for these emails.

Still, this topic is something to keep in the back of your mind as you navigate your own career. If you come clean to yourself with your own feelings about it, you might find yourself both more successful and more at peace with what you’re doing. “Something to put in your tool kit, anyway.”

Anyways, maybe you want more stuff like this. Maybe you are afraid to miss out on good ideas. Or you just want to always improve, and are looking for any good way to do so.

In that case, you might like to subscribe to my email newsletter on persuasion and marketing. Here’s where you can do that.

Amazing networking secret discovered by one-legged pick up artist

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Two days ago, John Carlton sent out an email about networking. (John is an A-list copywriter, most famous for his “Amazing Secret Discovered by One-Legged Golfer” ad.)

Anyways, John says there are at least three main networking styles you need to master.

The first style is being super polite and deferential.

The second is being hush-hush, like you’re sharing secrets you don’t want others to know.

The third is loud and boisterous, or, as the English say, taking the piss.

According to John, if you want to get good at networking, you’ll have to get good at each of these styles. And you’ll have to know how to move among them. Which brings up a warning:

If you see others bonding and networking using one of these styles, this doesn’t mean you want to go in with the same.

For example, back in the day, people kept coming up to John and Gary Halbert. John and Gary made a point of insulting each other. It was their locker-room style of networking and bonding. But when outsiders came in with the same, it was offensive and fell flat.

So here’s my added take. It’s based on what experience I’ve had establishing rapport with unfamiliar people.

And it can be summed up with a piece of meat-market advice from “pick up artist” Mystery (who has one leg, and then another). Mystery said:

“Treat a six like a ten, and a ten like a six. You won’t go wrong.”

In terms of networking, this means when I see somebody boisterous… I’m more likely to approach in a polite and deferential way.

When I see somebody polite and nice… I’m more likely to go in — not insulting them — but teasing them a bit.

And when somebody’s getting all hush-hush… well, then I figure it’s time to get all hush-hush too. But I also get on my guard. Because there’s a good chance the other person is just pumping me for information.

What good is this to you? I’m not sure. But if you ever again network outside of a Zoom meeting… then the three above styles — and Mystery’s advice — might be worth keeping in the back of your mind.

And for more pick up-inspired business advice, you might like to sign up to my email un-newsletter.

Beware “win-win-win”

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The hair stands up on the back of my neck whenever I hear the phrase “win-win-win.” And I’ve hearing it more and more often.

“It’s a real win-win-win situation…”​​

I guess that’s how markets evolve. First we had “win-win,” as in, “win-win negotiation.” Once that became old hat, marketers had to crank it up — hence the rise of “win-win-win.”

The reason I am wary of this phrase is because I’ve read Jim Camp’s negotiation book Start with No. And one of Camp’s big enemies is win-win. That’s just a clever name, Camp says, for fear- and compromise-based negotiation.

According to Camp, win-win negotiation is not principled… it’s not in your best interest… and if somebody is pushing it on you, you’re about to get flayed alive.

But maybe you think this is crazy. Maybe you think that “win-win” is great, and that “win-win-win” is even better. So here’s a quote by one very famous and successful copywriter, John Carlton:

Nearly every biz transaction is an inherently hostile situation.

Behind the smiles and back-slapping and promises of “working for the common good” between, say, a freelancer (or consultant) and a client…

… the freelancer actually wants to do as little work as possible for the maximum possible money…

… while the client wants to bleed every ounce of productivity from the writer for the least outlay of cash.

John uses the terms “veiled teeth-baring” and “primal snarling dance” to describe the reality of business interactions.

That’s certainly one way to do it. But I don’t think it’s the only way.

And if you want to know how to handle business situations in a way that’s neither snarling nor based in fear, then Camp’s book is worth a read. Or two. Or three.

Or you can just subscribe to my daily email newsletter. I’m no Jim Camp. But I’ve read his stuff, and it’s near to my heart. And while my newsletter is mainly about marketing and persuasions, sometimes I also write about the business of copy.

Maybe that doesn’t appeal to you. But in the odd case that it does, you can subscribe to get my emails by clicking here.

A real-life Joker triggered my Spidey sense today

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I had a surreal experience today:

I heard a well-known, madly successful guru tell his origin story in a semi-private setting. It all sounded very credible except — only a few days earlier, I had heard him tell the same origin story in another semi-private setting. And the critical details were completely different.

It felt like the scene in The Dark Knight, where the Joker explains how he became the Joker because his daddy cut him up when he was a kid… and then a while later in the movie, he says he became the Joker because he slashed himself up with a razor blade to please his wife.

I’m not sure if the guru in question really was lying. But it’s certainly possible.

Because there are genuine psychos in the business world. And my guess is they are over-represented in the rogues’ gallery of successful gurus, particularly in various marketing and “make money” niches.

Only, unlike in comic books, these real-life psychos don’t dress like the Joker and don’t telegraph their psychopathy with a mad grin. Quite the opposite. As copywriter John Carlton once wrote:

“First, don’t get fooled by people with impeccable manners and loads of charm. I’ve run into more than my share of sociopaths in life, and I’ve actually enjoyed being around them (before I realized what I was dealing with)… These hard-core mofo’s are tough to identify, because they’re good at lying… and good at telling you what they think you want to hear. They’re like ‘Human Whisperers’… they observe humans the way horse whisperers observe and get into the heads of horses… and they can be very, very good at passing themselves off as caring, loving people.”

I’m certainly not telling you to become paranoid and suspicious of everyone you meet.

But when it comes to people who sell online, it’s good to remember that your instincts for who’s trustworthy and who’s not can be manipulated. Perversely, the more quickly and instinctively you trust an online personality, the more your Spidey sense (Batman signal? — apologies for mixing comic book universes) should be going off.

Anyways, here’s another tip:

It’s hard to maintain a psycho facade after a lot of contact over a long period of time. Therefore, if you want to demonstrate your non-psychopathy, one way to do that is to communicate regularly with your audience.

Which is one reason why I write a daily email newsletter, mostly about persuasion, marketing, and manipulation — for psychopaths or not. If you’re interested in trying this newsletter out, click here.

Sweet inconsistency in copywriting education

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“The most important thing — you can know every copywriting technique in the book, you can read every book — the most important thing is to understand your audience.”
– Parris Lampropoulos

At the start of this year, I got a job to rewrite a VSL for an upsell of a successful offer.

A bit of background:

The offer was in the real estate investing space. It basically showed newbie investors how to get their leads for free using a secret resource.

​​Once people bought the frontend offer, they were shown the upsell. The upsell was about how to hire virtual assistants to automate much of the work involved in the frontend offer… so you can make more money in less time.

The question was how to position this upsell VSL.

My copywriting coach at the time said something like, “This training is the quickest way to become a millionaire real estate investor.”

That might be true. But my feeling was, for this audience, it was not believable. Most of these people had never even completed their first deal. Lots of them were retirees, or people who just wanted to quit their crap jobs and spend more time at home.

If these folks heard “You can be a millionaire,” my gut feeling was they would say, “No, that’s not me.”

And so I wrote that VSL around the promise of, “Get your first deal faster by doing less.” And that positioning turned out to be a winner. It beat out the control by 50%.

Here’s why I bring up this story from my client annals:

Copywriting wisdom is full of sweet inconsistency. Many top copywriters will tell you to make the biggest promise you can — and they will show you million-dollar ads to back up their case. Here’s a famous one from John Carlton:

“Amazing Secret Discovered By One-Legged Golfer Adds 50 Yards To Your Drives, Eliminates Hooks And Slices… And Can Slash Up To 10 Strokes From Your Game Almost Overnight”

But then you have other top copywriters, who will tell you the opposite — to make modest but believable promises. They will also show you successful ads to back up their case. Here’s one from Gary Bencivenga:

“Get Rich Slowly”

So who’s right? The “biggers” or the “modests”?

Neither, of course. Instead, it’s Parris who’s right.

As he says in the quote above, you’ve got to know your audience. Some audiences will believe any promise, so the larger it is, the better for you. Other audiences won’t. So make the biggest promise you can — as long as you’re sure your audience will find it believable.

Want to get better at copywriting slowly? I have a daily email newsletter where I share more information like this. You can sign up here.