Personal Change

2021 un-goals

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One year ago, I sent out an email to my un-newsletter subscribers with the subject line,

“Why goals and I broke up and are no longer talking”

In that email, I wrote about how I’m ghosting goals such as, “I want to make $xyz in the next year.” The reason was I used set goals like this for years — and I never achieved them, or even came close.

Instead, last year I decided to move on to something James Altucher calls “having a theme.” It’s a direction you want your life to move in.

So at the end of 2019, I set three themes for my 2020. They were:

1) more money

2) a project

3) some fun

I feel I’ve been successful in moving in each of those directions. I made more money in 2020 than I had in the previous four years combined… I searched for a side-project until hitting upon the Masks on a Plane newsletter idea about a month ago… and as for fun, well, we can talk about that in private.

Maybe you say, it’s all a coincidence. And maybe you’re right.

So I am running a new experiment for 2021, with a new set of themes, building and tweaking the ones I had in 2020. If you like, I’ll let you know in another 365 days whether themes turn out to be 2/2 in helping me move forward in life. You can subscribe to my un-newsletter here to make sure you get that update.

And if you too have tried setting goals only to realize 1) you haven’t achieved them and 2) you don’t even care, then give themes a try for 2021. They might help you achieve the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.

Welcome to the Jung

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After a month and a half in an empty coast town, I’m back in a city. So I put a note in my phone to write today’s post with the headline “Welcome to the jungle.” But my phone thought different. It changed it to “Welcome to the Jung” instead. Let’s see where that goes.

I recently read an article about psychologist Carl Jung. In his later days, Jung believed the universe is full of meaningful coincidences. He called this synchronicity. He gave an example:

During a therapy session, one of Jung’s patients was talking about her dream. She dreamt a golden beetle. Right then, Jung looked out his office window and spotted a golden beetle. Synchronicity.

Maybe you’re like me, and you don’t think the universe cares what you think or you do. Or that it’s sending you coded messages. Or setting up golden beetles to thrill and surprise you.

Even so, you can get a lot of use from taking chance events and running with them.

For example, some of my favorite creators — people like Brian Eno, David Lynch, Philip K. Dick — made randomness a key part of their work.

Philip K. Dick wrote The Man in the High Castle using I Ching divination. He used it to figure out where the plot should go.

David Lynch was shooting the pilot to Twin Peaks when a set dresser accidentally got in the frame. Lynch decided not to throw the take away. Instead he kept the set dresser in the show and made him the main villain, Bob.

And Brian Eno has a whole system for adding randomness to his work. It’s a set of cards called Oblique Strategies. You draw a card at random, and it gives you a hint about how to move forward with your project.

So here’s what I want to leave you with:

If you ever worry you won’t come up with good ideas, take the pressure off yourself.

Integrate some randomness into your process, and adapt. You will come up with better ideas than you could if you just lock your brain away in a room and tell it to work.

In other words, Jung’s synchronicity might not be real — but you can make it so.

Now how’s this for terms:

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Burn objections out of your prospect’s mind using nothing more than a tiny success

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What’s the Spanish word for “different”?

I don’t speak Spanish. But here’s a trick:

When a word in English ends in “ent,” you can tack on an “e” at the end. More often than not, you get the right Spanish word.

So try it now.

Tack an “e” onto “different.” You get “differente.” And that’s how the Spanish and about 200 million South Americans would say it in their own tongue. Same with persistente, permanente… you get the gist.

With a few simple rules like that, an English speaker gets around 3,000 words in Spanish for free.

Not bad. Definitely enough for basics of conversation. Also more than most adult language learners ever manage to memorize.

I learned about this in a teach-yourself-Spanish course called Language Transfer. This course is available for free online. But if it wasn’t… everything I just told you would be a hell of a thing to put into a sales letter to promote and sell this course.

Because demonstration is the most powerful form of proof.

And if you can demonstrate to your prospect that he’s already on his way… then much of his skepticism and doubt will disappear.

By the way, this is not limited to language learning only.

As just one example, there’s Gene Schwartz’s famous “BURN DISEASE OUT OF YOUR BODY” ad. It ran successful for over 20 years. I’m sure that part of its success was that, under subhead three, it gives you an exercise you can try for yourself. “Sit or stand, with your hands simply extended in front of your chest…” You will feel the energy flowing, and your heart getting stronger.

One final point:

You don’t need to give away the farm. Just give your prospect a tiny success, right there on the sales page. If you can do that, you will burn objections out of his mind. What’s going to be left is an innocent and pure desire to buy your product… and find out what else it can do.

Ok, now for business:

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Wounded children walking

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“Every man you’ve ever known, loved, and trusted has lied to you.”

That was the sentence that Chris Haddad tacked on at the front of one of his VSLs in the relationship niche. Chris says this one sentence doubled conversions.

So what’s going on?

Well, the sentence is shocking. And shocking pattern interrupts work well at the start of a VSL to attract attention. But there’s more to it than that.

I heard a successful copywriter say that if you take a product’s features, you can ask “So what?” to get to the benefit of that feature.

And you can ask “So what?” again, to get to the benefit of that benefit.

And you can keep asking the same “So what?” question… until you get to the end. And the end is always the same:

“So I can feel better about myself.”

This same copywriter summed it up with a self-help quote. “We are all wounded children walking around in adult bodies.”

For somebody who’s in the direct response relationship market, that wound might be a broken promise or rejection or harm early on in life… which has trailed this person like a hungry shadow ever since.

In other parts of the direct response world, the wound might be something different.

But everybody — at least everybody who’s of interest to you if you write copy — has such a wound. And if you can address it right at the start of your message, like Chris did with his VSL… then the right people will listen.

Listen:

I have an email newsletter where I write about persuasion and copywriting. If you consider yourself to be a smart, ambitious person, and you have uncomfortably high standards for yourself… then you might find it valuable. You can subscribe here.

Multiplication inspiration

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At the ugly age of 12, when I moved from Croatia to California, I made friends with a boy named Mike.

Mike was Mormon, and was one of six brothers and sisters. Other Mormon families I met were just as prolific.

One day, I asked Mike why it’s a thing in the Mormon community to replicate at such a vicious rate. He shrugged. “It says in the Bible to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.” (I checked. It’s true. God says it to Noah after the big flood.)

Speaking of replenishing the earth, here’s a quote from the most successful direct mail promotion of all time:

“It doesn’t give me any pleasure to predict these things. But I want to get this information out to as many people as I can… because you can prepare yourself. And those you love can avoid this catastrophe. And the more of us who preserve our wealth, the better it will be for our country when the time comes to rebuild.”

That’s from The Plague of the Black Debt, a tiny booklet, written by Lee Euler. Back in the 90s, this booklet got hundreds of thousands of new customers for a little-known publisher called Agora.

There’s a big persuasion lesson hidden in these two examples.

You probably see it.

In case you don’t, I won’t spell it out here. But I did spell it out when I sent this article as an email to my newsletter subscribers.

You can subscribe to that newsletter here.

And why would you want to do that?

Well, to learn more about copywriting and marketing. But also, because the more good people who learn about powerful persuasion influence techniques, the better it will be for the world when the time comes to rebuild after covid-19.

Let’s play master and servant

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Gary Bencivenga said that sales copy needs to only do two things to be successful. The first is to open the sale. The second is to close the sale.

In a similar vein, I think you need to only do two things to finish any copy project. The first is to sit down to work. The second is to actually write.

You might think I’m being silly, but I’m serious.

To show you how serious, let tell you about a little game I like to play. Maybe you will like to play it too. It’s called master and servant.

Each night, I get out my riding whip, and, in the role of master, I make a list of tasks for the servant to accomplish the next day.

In the morning, I put the riding whip away and, in the role of servant, I blindly begin to follow the master’s written orders.

So I sit down to work on a particular copy project. Thing 1 above is complete.

But now what? The servant is lazy. He will whine and invent excuses. Soon, he will get up and quit rather than starting to do any work.

So in the role of master again, I’ll warm up the servant with some trivial subtasks.

For example, one of today’s tasks was an email for some real estate agents. And so I told the servant, “Open up a new text document. Write SUBJECT across the top. That’s where the subject line will go one day. And then just paste in the three or four URLs you will get research from. That is all you have to do.”

The servant, who is gullible as well as lazy, does as he’s told. “I’m finished,” he says. “Can I go now?”

So the master gives him a few more easy subtasks. And a few more. Soon enough, the servant is huffing, puffing, sweating, and working, without realizing that time is passing and the project is moving forward, under his own initiative. Thing 2 above is complete.

Gene Schwartz said that you have to work hard to succeed. He then clarified. You don’t have to work long hours. You just have to work hard, with great intensity.

But how do you do that?

I subscribe to the idea, which I first read from Cal Newport, that procrastination is at bottom uncertainty. Uncertainty about what you have to do. Uncertainty that it will work. Uncertainty that such a massive project could ever get finished.

So much thinking. So much personal attachment. So much stress. No wonder you can’t get any work done.

That’s why it helps to split your personality into two. Hammer and anvil. Master and servant. It’s a lot like life.

“I’m finished. Can I go now?”

Yes, you’re free to go if you like. But if you want to give your servant some useful reading to do later, click here and subscribe to my daily email newsletter.

“Stop caring what other people think”

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For many years, I tried to not care what other people think. Left and right, I’d heard this is the way to go.

“Who cares about other people’s opinions? Fuck em.”

I tried. I put on a brave smile when somebody criticized or outraged me. Or I argued back. Or I pretended like nothing happened.

Of course, something had happened. I experienced a reaction, often a nasty one. Pretending otherwise was like pretending that a wasp sting doesn’t hurt.

The criticism or the outrage stung. But what really bothered me was realizing that I couldn’t stop myself from reacting… that I cared what other people thought… that this made me susceptible and weak.

Then one day, I figured out if I kept going this way — trying and failing to not care what other people think — I’d just spend my life in self-hate.

So I stopped trying.

And I started diligently avoiding other people’s opinions. I started to close my eyes, cover up my ears, and turn around to not see.

Of course, this does not mean I have completely separated myself from the human race. Or that I never take feedback.

But when I suspect I might be negatively influenced by somebody else’s opinion… I don’t steel myself to not care. Instead, I work to avoid hearing or seeing that opinion. And I find I have fewer problems.

If you too have been bravely trying to not care what other people think, without success, then ignorance might be worth a shot.

It’s like watching a movie. You know a disgusting torture scene is coming up. So you close your eyes. You hear other people in the audience gasping, groaning, and dry heaving. And you wonder what all the fuss is about, because your own stomach is fine.

Not everybody has this problem. If you do have it, I guess you know. But an easy way to figure it out is to ask yourself:

Was there any time today that I changed course, either because of what somebody said, or what I expected they would say?

Psychic pain can be just as real as physical pain. Sometimes more so. And trying NOT to think of pink elephants is a sure way of having a parade of them stomping through your head.

As I’ve written before, much of our psychology has moved to the cloud. That’s good for staying on top of the latest memes and outrage news. But it’s bad if you want some peace of mind, or the freedom to explore the world on your own terms.

Ignore other people and their opinions… and you’ve got a shot. Try to stop caring, once you know what they think… and you’ve got a fight on your hands.

Ok, enough anti-caring propaganda.

Now for some marketing:

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Suggestion: “Play rabbit” in your copy and one-on-one dealings

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Rabbits can pretend to be healthy even when sick. They can mask it so well that they go from looking perfectly normal in one second to dead on the floor the next.

In other words, rabbits can cover up their neediness.

​​Neediness is when you feel threatened, and you enter survival mode. All of God’s little creatures, including you and me, experience neediness now and again, whether real or imagined.

The next time you feel needy, I’d like to suggest that you “play rabbit.”

​​In other words, suck it up and cover it up. Because being seen as needy makes you also look weak, vulnerable, and desperate. That’s not the profile of someone that people want to shake hands with, in business or in private.

I was reviewing a Frank Kern VSL today. It was for a big launch he did a few years ago for his Inner Circle coaching program.

​​I don’t know whether Frank was desperate for this launch to succeed. The VSL certainly doesn’t make it seem so.

Except for some fake urgency (a timer above the VSL), there’s not much pressure to buy. No “You need this NOW.” No “You’re at a fork in the road.” Instead, there’s just a voluptuous, sleepy-eyed seductress of an offer, lazily smiling at you and showing off her many attractions.

I’ve written already about my 3-sentence method for applying for copywriting jobs. It involves no friendly banter, no big life story, and certainly no explaining or apologizing.

Back when I applied for copywriting jobs, this method worked great. And one big reason is that I didn’t look needy, regardless of how I felt. (By the way, if you want more on this, I wrote up this article about it.)

My point is that, in your copy and in your one-on-one dealings, don’t telegraph your neediness and vulnerability. If anything, do the opposite. Play rabbit. Don’t let anyone know what’s going on inside your beating little chest.

But perhaps the above examples didn’t convince you. So let me leave you with the words of the godfather and midwife of modern advertising, Claude Hopkins.

For his first advertising job, Hopkins had to sell 250,000 carpet sweepers. I don’t know what a carpet sweeper is, but apparently it was an important but unsexy household product.

So Hopkins wrote a straightforward letter to dealers. It outlined why his product is unique. It listed conditions in case the dealers wanted to sell it.

Take it or leave it.

So what was the result? From Hopkins himself:

“I offered a privilege, not an inducement. I appeared as a benefactor, not as a salesman. So dealers responded in a way that sold our stock of 250,000 sweepers in three weeks.”

One last point:

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Trolling for productivity

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Last year during the U.S. Open, Russian tennis star Daniil Medvedev started getting booed by the crowd.

Earlier in the match, Medvedev had tossed his racquet in frustration. He also threw a towel that one of the ball children had handed him.

The U.S. Open crowd, which loves fair play and sportsmanlike behavior almost as much as it likes bullying a man when he’s down, smelled blood. Medvedev was losing, and in poor style. So the crowd booed and heckled him after every lost point and at each changeover.

And then, like a Russian phoenix feeding off the fire of righteous pride, Medvedev turned things around and won the match. In his post-match interview, as the crowd sat stunned, Medvedev started his trolling:

“Thank you guys, you gave me the win. Without the energy you are giving me, I would lose. [At this point, the crowd booed loudly. Medvedev closed his eyes and made motions that seemed to say, let it rain on me.] Thank you guys. You gave me energy for my next five matches. The more you do this, the more I will win for you.”

A beautiful moment in sports, don’t you think?

Now with that out of the way, let me give you a productivity tip:

Whenever you’re faced with an overwhelming and unpleasant task, rather than biting down on the bit and trying to bully your way through the work… rather than visualizing success and hoping the universe will manifest it for you… rather that sitting paralyzed and hoping things will be better a little later… just ask yourself the following question:

“How can I get this done and also enjoy the process?”

… and then write down the ideas that pop up in your head.

​​I’ve done this a few times since I found out about this technique earlier this year. And each time — for example today, with this very post — I find it works. I get the task done, and I enjoy the process along the way.

Your brain is a powerful tool. And when you ask the above question, your brain can take a seemingly awful situation and reframe it in a positive way. It can spot things you wouldn’t have spotted before, which energize you or even make you enjoy your unpleasant task.

And then, in your post-match interview, when you’re being interviewed about your unlikely success, you can troll all the obstacles that once lay in your way:

“Thank you to the papercuts… the rug burns… and the alarm clocks. You gave me the win. I will go forward and keep winning — just for you guys.”

And now for the climax:

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How dirty is your underwear right now?

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Seriously, how dirty is it? I’m asking because it’s a personal question and borderline insulting. And if my guess is right, it got your attention. Here’s why I need it.

I’ve been thinking about pattern interrupts and how to do them. Here are a few examples, in case you’re not familiar with this term, of what I mean by “pattern interrupt”:

1. Tony Robbins once threw water in a woman’s face. Repeatedly.

​​She was trying to talk through her marriage problems with Tony. But each time she started talking about her husband, she started to get negative. ​​So Tony threw water in her face, shocked her, and got her laughing.

​​”What is wrong with you?” she asked each time he did it. But she stopped being negative when talking about her husband.

2. “Coffee’s for closers only.”

​​You might know this famous scene from Glengarry Glen Ross. Alec Baldwin comes in to give his “Always be closing” speech to a bunch of real estate salesmen… but they aren’t taking him seriously.

​​So when one of them goes to get a cup of coffee, Baldwin stares and says, “Put that coffee down. Coffee’s for closers only. You think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you.” The salesman puts the coffee down and starts to listen.

* Shooting the apple out of the pig’s mouth.

​​In the first Hunger Games movie, Katniss is supposed to show off her archery skills to a bunch of rich sponsors. But she misses the target. The sponsors laugh and start chatting among themselves.

​​Katniss next hits a bullseye… but the sponsors aren’t paying attention any more. ​​So she turns towards the sponsors, takes aim, and shoots an arrow through the apple stuck in a pig’s mouth in the middle of the banquet table. All the sponsors shut up and look at her.

I bet there are a bunch of different ways to create an effective pattern interrupt. The three situations above all do it. And though they might seem very different, I think they share a common element:

They cross private boundaries, whether physical or of personal sovereignty. They are intrusive, threatening, or borderline insulting.

So if you too need to get somebody’s attention, and change their set ways of thinking, try such a “personal sovereignty” pattern interrupt. Just make sure you have a good reason for doing so — otherwise you might get slapped in the face.

Anyways, since I still have your attention:

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