Personal Change

How to make hard decisions with the “fluff minimization” framework

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“The framework I found, which made the decision incredibly easy, was what I called — what only a nerd would call — a ‘regret minimization’ framework. So I wanted to project myself forward to age 80. Now I’m looking back on my life. I want to have minimized the number of regrets I have. I knew that when I was 80, I was not going to regret having tried this.”
— Jeff Bezos, speaking about his decision to start Amazon.com

One of the books that shaped my self-image the most is called Stumbling On Happiness.

I read it in my mid 20s. It made me trust myself even less than I had before then.

The book was written by Daniel Gilbert, a psychologist at Harvard. The gist of it, as I remember, is this:

1) Human beings are terrible at predicting the future. We can’t predict what will happen, and we can’t even predict how we will feel if certain things do happen.

2) Human beings are terrible at remembering the past. To protect our current identity, we will warp our memories, forget unflattering things, and even invent stuff that never happened.

In other words, the kind of “regret minimization” fluff that Jeff Bezos talks about might motivate you…

It might even help you make a decision…

But will it be a good decision?

Will your vague and ghost-like projection of your future, cranky, and forgetful self… trying to sift among his warped memories of decades earlier…

Will he tell you anything useful?

Not in my world.

That’s what I want to suggest to you, too. Look elsewhere for help with making decisions.

For example, look at the third leg of Daniel Gilbert’s book. It might help you if you are trying to make a big, hard decision.

Gilbert’s advice is to talk to people who are currently going through what you want to go through. Ask them the reality of their lives now. ​​That’s the only hope you have of getting an honest answer… and minimizing all the motivational, inspirational, self-serving fluff.

Regarding fluff:

Project yourself into the future. No more than a day in the future.

Will your future self enjoy receiving an email from me?

Or will your future self regret not signing up for my daily email newsletter?

In case that exercise made your decision easy… and you want to see what my daily emails are like, click here to subscribe.

You’ve been lied to

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You’ve been lied to — by every movie and every copywriting guru who ever caught your attention.

Let me explain.

Today I watched a Guy Ritchie movie about King Arthur. I was surprised to find I liked this movie… but I want to warn you about it nonetheless.

At the start of the movie there’s a montage as Arthur, orphaned, goes from a boy getting beaten up, living in a brothel… to a slightly older boy, still getting beaten up, still living in a brothel… to a young man, still living in a brothel but no longer getting beaten up… and finally to a full-grown man, muscular and handsome, who runs a criminal gang in medieval Londinium, while still living at a brothel.

The entire sequence takes maybe 45 seconds.

And that’s what I want to warn you about.

It’s not just this one movie. All movies, TV shows, documentaries, anything you see on a screen… they collapse our sense of time. And along with it, they collapse our expectations of the boredom, frustration, pain, and doubt we will experience during that time.

I bring this up because the past six months have been pretty wild for me and my copywriting career.

I’ve broken through long-standing earnings plateaus, and I’m finally earning the money that copywriting gurus promise is possible.

Potential clients now contact me each week — without my pitching them at all.

Even my daily emails are getting traction. A number of people wrote me over the past month to say they like and appreciate what I write… and some have even bought the little offers I put out.

But maybe you’re curious what happened six months ago to make my life so brag-worthy today.

The answer is nothing. At least as far as I can tell.

For years, I’ve been trying to do a good job each day, and to get better through practice and study. I guess my internal and external assets finally built up to some critical level, and results followed.

And if it’s starting to feel a little stuffy in this church…

Let me say I’m not trying to give you a sermon about hard work.

All I want to point out is that you’ve been lied to, by people who meant to lie to you, and by those who just wanted to entertain you.

Real life isn’t a montage. ​​There’s nothing wrong with you if you experience boredom, frustration, pain, and doubt on the way to accomplishing any goal.

Success requires time, effort, and patience. But that’s something nobody in the copywriting (or entertainment) world is selling.

So watch King Arthur. It’s a fun and inventive movie. But don’t believe it for a second — or 45.

Speaking of entertainment and lies:

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Confessions of a name-dropping titan

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“Bejako won’t be going on the field trip.”

It was my high school photography teacher, calling my mom on the phone. He was taking our photography class down to D.C. to visit some art gallery.

“Young Bejako is currently failing a class,” the teacher explained, “and unfortunately that means he can’t go on any school field trips.”

My mom turned white and looked at me.

“Which class is he failing?” she asked.

It was English. I was failing English in 11th grade. I hated everything they told me to do and I refused to do it.

Flash cards for notes? Outlines? Supporting quotes and references?

Hell no.

The irony is that, now that I’m finally out of the school system and its awful English classes, and now that I write for money, I voluntarily do all the things they once forced me to do.

I take notes and I write them up on flash cards. I spend most of my time on a project outlining. And I will refer to sources and references like crazy.

As for that last one, a reader named Robert wrote in yesterday to say:

“You sir, are a name-dropping titan. ‘Name-dropers’ are what copywriting and copywriters need. Knowing what material to listen to, read, watch, by who and who not… Man, that’s half the battle.”

Thing is, Robert actually jabbed me into a sore spot. Because I quote and refer to experts and authorities too much.

The reason I do it is that it’s a cheap way to get proof. For example, my recent book, The 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters, gets its credibility from the names I drop therein.

But all that name-dropping doesn’t come without a cost. In fact the problem is twofold.

For one thing, there are other, more powerful ways to prove a point, such as illustrations, analogies, demonstrations, and case studies. And relying too much on authority means that I (and perhaps you) am not doing that work and getting the benefits of those more powerful modes of proof.

The second problem is more insidious.

And it’s that all this name-dropping means that I myself am not an authority. Not in my readers’ eyes necessarily, but in my own.

It’s what school tried to teach me, or beat into me, all those years ago. And that’s a shame.

And that’s basically the point I want to leave you with. Learning is great. But be careful not to become too reliant on authority opinion for your thoughts — which is what happens to me.

By the way, I’ve been reading an author who opened my eyes to this recently. I could point you to who he is… but just for today, I will hold off.

And if you want more of my ideas on copywriting, marketing, and learning — and occasional name dropping — you might like to sign up to my daily email newsletter.

An admission about my own incompetence

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“I’ve started to write short stories,” a friend told me today.

I asked him to tell me more.

“I wrote the first one three weeks ago. It’s about a man who believes inanimate objects have souls. So he goes around giving proper burials to chairs and tables. He finds an old wardrobe left out next to the trash and that’s when the story begins.”

I listened to him summarize the adventures of the man as he drags the wardrobe to his back yard. I leaned in and I laughed and I was pleased with the ending. Which reminds me of something I read recently,

“Genius is as common as dirt.”

That comes from an essay titled, “Against school.” John Taylor Gatto, the guy who wrote the essay, was the New York State Teacher of the Year way back when. But he turned against the school system once he realized the real problem.

It’s not apathetic kids… or underpaid teachers… or an outdated curriculum.

The problem is that the purpose of school is, first and foremost, to break kids, so they become fit to serve.

Maybe you don’t agree with this. So let it just sit there as an idea to be aware of. But here’s a personal admission:

I feel I have zero creativity or ability to solve problems. Of course, that’s not really how I am. I’ve solved problems before and I’ve created stuff, too.

But I sure feel uncreative and incompetent. I think the reason why is that, through long and arduous training in the school system, I’ve learned there is always a right answer, and you either have it at your fingertips or you don’t. And I almost never do.

Of course, having the right answer at your fingertips is not really how creativity works. And if you ever doubt your own creative abilities, maybe it will be worth turning a critical eye towards your school years, and looking for a bit of that “common as dirt” genius that’s probably sleeping somewhere inside you.

But let’s get to business:

Remember how I mentioned I create stuff on occasion? One thing I create every day is an email about copywriting, marketing, and, now and again, Marxist ideas about the education system. If you’d like to test out this newsletter in your inbox, click here.

Try not to enjoy reading this post

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Hypnotist Mike Mandel says that there is a magic power word, which you can use to get people to fail. What’s more, if you find yourself using this word to describe your own actions, expect that you will fail also.

What is this magic word?

I’ll tell you but be careful. The word is “try.”

Mike has all sorts of technical explanations for the destructive power of try. But my best evidence (and maybe yours, if you give it a try) is just by looking inside my own brain software. Whenever I found myself saying, “I’ll give it a try,” or “I’ll try my best,” deep down, I found I was expecting to fail. And often, fail I did.

I’m telling you this for two reasons:

First, it might be worth kicking the word “try” out of your own vocabulary, down to the curb with the rest of the head trash. It might take some time to find other words that will express what you want to say. But when you do, you will probably find the effort was worth it.

Second, if you write copy, then you can use the word “try” to get other people to fail. Why would you want to do such a cruel thing? Well, a classic example is the three-pronged road at the end of so many sales letters:

“So here are your options now. Option one is you can go back to what you were doing before, pulling your hair out and picking at your skin while your unsolved problem mounts and your family looks at you with growing suspicion each passing day.

“​​Option two is you take the breakthrough system I’ve just described to you and TRY to implement it yourself. But you know how that’s going to turn out, don’t you?

“​​And then finally, you’ve got option three, which is to accept the risk-free offer I’m making you today. And then just try not to shout with joy when your problem is finally solved…”

Finally, I’d like to announce that I write a daily email newsletter. Try not to sign up for it. But if you find you aren’t successful, then click here and follow the instructions.

Selfishly giving away money to a worthy cause

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You may have heard that Chuck Feeney is finally broke.

​​Feeney, who once had a net worth of $8 billion, decided in 1982 to give it all away before he died. This past Monday, the last pennies finally rolled out of Feeney’s now-empty wallet, and his life’s mission was accomplished.

You know what gets me? It took 38 years.

Because giving away money in a way that doesn’t do harm, and even more, in a way that actually does good, is a time-consuming job.

I started giving away a tiny bit of money a few months ago for purely selfish, mercenary reasons. Earlier this year, I broke through a long-standing earnings ceiling. And I wanted to make sure I never fall through the hole in that ceiling and drop back down to the ground floor.

So I took the advice of Tony Robbins, who says to give away some money — as a way of signaling to your brain that you’ve got more than enough. (You might think this is some kooky new age bullshit, but the more I learn about persuasion and human psychology, the more I believe this kind of stuff.)

The thing is though, giving away money to a halfway-deserving cause, where the money will be spent on something other than comfier chairs for holier-than-thou bureaucrats, well, that’s not easy. Some months I don’t give anything away, just because I don’t know where.

But let me snip to the chase: I just signed up to give away $40 a month to some charity. Frankly, I don’t know if the charity is any good — that would take more research than I’m willing to put in.

But the donation was recommended by direct marketer Brian Kurtz, who claims it’s worthwhile. And for this donation, Brian is also giving me (and you, if you want) an ethical bribe: the digital version of his Titans of Direct Response event.

Thing is, I’m not sure whether this will satisfy my need to give away money. After all, I’ve lusted after this Titans product for a while. It’s got recordings of top marketers and copywriters revealing things they’d never revealed anywhere else. I thought about getting this product earlier, but I put it off because it normally sells for a couple thou. Well, I can now get it for much much cheaper, and give away some money too to a charity. (But will my brain believe that?)

I can’t say this is the decision you too should make. You might not believe the Tony Robbins philanthropy/earnings juju, or you might not want the Titans course, even at a fat discount. But if you are interested, or if you just want to see how a marketing master structures an attractive offer, head on over to the following page and read the P.S.:

https://www.briankurtz.net/informationinspirationor-just-lunch/

The aggressive other meaning of “money loves speed”

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“There is absolutely nothing you can ever do or say that is MORE attractive than escalating quickly. Not teasing her, telling stories or having lots of social proof. Nothing comes close. Fast escalation beats them all.”
— 60 Years of Challenge

Marketing legend Dan Kennedy has a famous saying that “money loves speed.”

For the longest time, I thought that meant working faster, producing more content and offers, and getting paid more. It definitely makes sense given that Dan himself was (probably) the world’s highest paid copywriter for a time. His secret? He wrote faster and more than anybody else.

But maybe that’s not all there is to this saying.

Maybe it’s about making more money through fast product fulfillment and customers service… or through the promise of speedy results or relief from pain… or even through concentration-enhancing drugs like Ritalin.

Well, maybe those are a bit far-fetched.

​​But here’s something that’s almost certainly true. I didn’t think of it myself, but I managed to catch it when two successful marketers (Rich Schefren and Kim Walsh Phillips) mentioned it during a recent interview.

What they said was that ascending customers quickly means you will make more money.

And if you don’t know what I mean by ascending, it is standard direct response stuff: you first sell somebody a $47 newsletter, then a $197 course, then a $4997 yearly subscription service.

And what Rich and Kim were saying, as an interpretation of Dan’s “money loves speed,” is that the faster you do this — all in the same sitting is just great — the more money you will make.

Fast ascension. Not waiting weeks, months, or years to push your customers to the next level of commitment with you.

Which is pretty much the same thing you will hear in the pickup niche, where they talk about “fast escalation” as the end-all technique to attracting women.

Perhaps you find this off-putting. Or too aggressive. Perhaps it’s not for you.

But I think it’s good to at least keep it in the back of your mind. Because money — and women — love speed.

Since you’ve read this far, let’s try some fast ascension:

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Protests and anxiety relief

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Starting two weeks ago, I’ve been living in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language, don’t know anyone, and really have no good reason to be.

And with my typical lack of planning or foresight, I managed to arrive at a time when there are anti-government protests going on day and night. I can hear them outside my window right now — horns, drums, whistles, cowbells, and a large mass of people chanting, “Resign!” in the local language.

I don’t mean to make it sound bad because it’s not. Mostly I’m having a great time here.

​​But, with the uncertainty and the language barrier and the constant cowbells, there are many moments when I get anxious. Out of nowhere, my brain will serve up scenarios of trouble, danger, and pain that could happen to me, all alone and unprotected in this great big world.

When those moments pop up, and they pop up often, I go back to a passage I read in Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho-Cybernetics:

“You do not have to answer the telephone. You do not have to obey. You can, if you choose, totally ignore the telephone bell.”

Maltz is using the telephone as a metaphor (metonym?) for anxiety-causing events and thoughts. If you too get anxious thoughts now and soon after, maybe this metaphor will help you. Plus I’d like to add two things to what Maltz wrote.

First, you don’t have to feel guilty because the phone started to ring.

​​In other words, just because bad thoughts popped up in your head, this doesn’t make it more likely you will in fact experience trouble, danger, and pain. You can be plenty successful in life, even with a constantly ringing phone line.

Second, this is not some Deepak Chopra-ish claim that you can always be happy and healthy if you just set your mind to it.

​​If the phone rings while you’re napping, you will wake up. There’s no sense in pretending that you’re still asleep. But you can go to another room where the ringing isn’t as loud… or you can even put on some Brian Eno ambient music, to drown out the ringing until the damn thing shuts up.

Speaking of incessant rattling:

I write a daily email newsletter. Mostly it’s about marketing and copywriting, with occasional detours into self-help, like today. If you’d like to get this thing ringing in your inbox each day, click here to subscribe.

Going back to the Mark Ford well and pulling up a goldfish

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Over and over in these emails I’ve cited a quote made by entrepreneur and copywriter Mark Ford:

“There is an inverse relationship between the value of knowledge and what people are willing to pay for it. The most important things in life you’ve probably heard a hundred times before, but you’re not paying attention. When you’re in the right place and you hear it, you have that ‘aha’ moment and everything changes.”

I’ve used this quote to talk about the trouble with marketing secrets, about A-list copywriting wisdom, and even about Tim Ferris’s 4-Hour Work Week. And why not? I think the quote itself vindicates that I keep going back to the same well.

So here I am again, dropping the bucket in, and coming up with a little goldfish that surprised even me.

Since I’ve taken Mark’s advice to heart and started paying attention to good advice lying around in plain sight, I believe I’ve become better at writing copy. That’s because I’m noticing small and valuable bits of knowledge dropped by a guru that have little or nothing to do with the main secrets in the actual offer.

For example, I’m working on a real estate investing promo right now. And while I was going through the guru’s main “secrets” of lead generation and creative financing, I noticed a few throwaway comments he made. I took these comments and twisted them a bit to get some solid bullets going:

* How a $75 gadget (available at any electronics store) can get you thousands off the seller’s initial asking price

* The 5-word under-the-radar phrase you can use to uncover a seller’s true motivation — without the need to ask prying personal questions that put the seller on guard

* How to ethically piggyback on bandit signs put up by other investors (including investors you’ve never met) to get more sellers calling and emailing you

The point is, you can do this, too. There’s no secret, and there’s no magic.

Stop letting your attention be guided by others… and start directing it to the valuable and useful info hiding out in plain sight, all around you, right now.

​You’ll save yourself time and worry by not getting sucked in to expensive but low-value secrets. And you might even make money — assuming you’re in the business of writing fascinations.

But maybe you’re not convinced. But maybe you want more secrets. In that case, make sure to sign up to my secrets-filled daily email newsletter.

“A hell of a habit to get into and just about as hard to get out”

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David Ogilvy, a stylish copywriter who started one of the biggest marketing agencies in the world, once wrote that, of the “six giants who invented modern advertising,” at least five were gluttons for work.

One of Ogilvy’s marketing giants was Claude Hopkins, who may have been the first A-list copywriter of all time.

​​A century ago, Hopkins amassed a fortune by writing profit-generating ads for big brands, many of which still survive today — Palmolive and Quaker Oats and Pepsodent.

He also wrote a book called Scientific Advertising, which has become a kind of bible in the field. (According to Ogilvy, nobody should be allowed to have anything to do with advertising until he has read this book at least seven times.)

Hopkins was certainly a glutton for work. He worked 16-hour days, every day, including Sundays — his “best working days, because there were no interruptions.”

Sounds horrendous, right? But here’s the thing that struck me about Claude Hopkins and his love of work. From his autobiography, My Life in Advertising:

“All the difference lay in a different idea of fun. […] So the love of work can be cultivated, just like the love of play. The terms are interchangeable. What others call work I call play, and vice versa. We do best what we like best.”

In other words, work can become fun, if you work at it. Maybe you find that thought encouraging. I know I sometimes do.

Other times, though, all I remember is what Hemingway said about work: “It’s a hell of a habit to get into and it’s just about as hard to get out.”

So what’s my point? No point. It’s Sunday, after all, a day of rest for non-gluttons. Enjoy and relax. We’ll get back to points, well-made or not, tomorrow.

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