Direct Marketing

Dumb “accomplishment purchases”

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Two days ago, I found myself in a hypnotic daze, fumbling around on a domain-buying website.

I was 100% ready to put down $5,899 to buy a 14-year-old domain.

The back story is that a couple years ago, I had an idea for an info business. I even had a great name in mind.

But back then, the .com domain was taken. For that and a few more reasons, my drive to start up that business gradually got weaker… and weaker… and then slipped into a coma.

But then, a few days ago, against all odds, my drive for that business awoke from the coma and jumped out of bed. And the first thing it had me do was see if the domain had become available.

It had!

It was there, ready to be bought, for the low, low price of $5,899, or 24 monthly payments of just $245.79.

I clicked on the “Buy Now” button.

The page asked me to create an account. So I did. I tried to log in.

No soap.

“Click the verification link in the email we just sent you,” it said.

I checked my inbox. Nothing.

I checked it again. Still nothing.

“Fine,” I said, “I’ll do it later tonight.” And I started looking over my notes and plans from two years ago about this business idea.

“Hmm,” I said to myself.

I spent more time reading notes and making plans.

This wasn’t going to be easy, I remembered.

By the time the evening rolled around, my interest in this info business — and that $5,899 domain — had snuck back into bed and fell into a deep sleep.

As of today, it seems to be back in a coma.

I’m sharing this with you as a precautionary tale that might save you some grief.

Because from what I’ve seen in my 6+ years of working as a direct response copywriter… most people in the DR world are by nature opportunity seekers.

That includes me.

And as an opportunity seeker, I often, in a hypnotic daze, mistake spending money with accomplishment.

Like I said, maybe that’s you too. If so, remember my domain-buying story, and the following coma of my drive to build the actual business.

This isn’t just about saving yourself thousands or tens of thousands of dollars… though there’s a good chance that remembering this story can do that.

But more important, it’s about saving your drive and self-respect. Because every failed “accomplishment purchase” saps those virtues a little bit.

The fact is, good opportunities are out there.

But inevitably, it takes some work to make them work. And the fewer dumb “accomplishment purchases” you’ve made before, the easier it will be to do that necessary work.

Anyways, here’s an easy opportunity that costs little money and requires even less work.

I have an email newsletter. It’s free to sign up and even more free to read. In case you want to grab a spot, here’s where to go.

Glorious opportunity to get rich quick

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People were pushing each other on the curb and trying to get a glimpse of the window.

“What does it say?”

“It sounds like a real live stock.”

“I’m gonna invest, that’s for sure.”

In 1920, a bank manager named I. Webster Baker posted a giant ad in the window of the Guardian Savings & Trust Co. of Cleveland, Ohio.

The ad was clearly a joke.

It was so outlandish and ridiculous that no sane person could think it was real.

But just to be sure, Baker posted a sign, written in large letters, under his ad. The sign read:

“Some gullible people will try to buy this stock. It is a foolish joke, of course, but no more foolish than many ‘wildcat’ schemes being promoted to-day. Investigate before investing. Don’t hand your money over to any unknown glib-tongued salesman.”

And yet…

Passersby stopped on the street to read the ad.

Some saw the sign below the ad and moved on, chuckling to themselves.

But others took their place. A crowd started to form. A gold rush feeling was crackling in the air.

People started pushing into the bank.

“Say, where can I get more information on that California Ranching stock that’s being advertised in the window?”

“Oh that stock isn’t anything,” said the bank assistant with a twinkle in her eye. “We have other, better stocks you might like to invest in.”

“But I don’t want other stocks! I want that one in the window.”

Such is the power of gullibility, or if you’re feeling less kind, of human greed.

Serious men, business men, doctors, lawyers, stock brokers, all responded to the California Ranching Company ad.

​​They did so both when the ad appeared in the window of the Guardian Savings & Trust Co., and on numerous other occasions, when the ad popped up in small-town newspapers across the U.S.

These men wanted a chance, as one investor said, “to turn an honest nickel into an honest dollar overnight.”

The gruesome nature of the advertised business, and the impossible promise of 100%, non-stop profit, didn’t keep these men from rushing in with cash in hand, and yelling, “HERE, take my money!”

At the Cleveland bank, what they got is disappointment. What they got in the case of the newspaper ads were scams that made their money disappear.

Maybe you’d like to see the original ad.

​​Maybe you’re curious about the business of the California Ranching Company.

​​Or maybe you’d like to study how this ad did its thing, so you can apply some of the same ideas to a less gruesome, more realistic business.

You can find the ad below. But before you read it, make sure you invest in a free subscription to my email newsletter, while opportunity knocks at your door.

Update on that Super Bowl ad

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Last week, I wrote about the “best” ad from Super Bowl 2022. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s a bit of recap:

The whole ad was a QR code bouncing around for a minute, like an old-school Windows screensaver.

If you scanned the QR code, it took you to a page to sign up for a Coinbase account.

The ad drew a lot of response. So much so that the landing page crashed.

But in spite of the big response, it’s unlikely that Coinbase recouped the $13 million it cost to run this ad.

So that’s the recap. And now for the update:

A few days ago, Brian Armstrong, CEO of Coinbase, wrote a Twitter thread talking about the making of this ad.

It was mostly about how cool and creative his team is, and how he likes to pat them on the back, and how he also enjoys having his own back patted.

But the thing that really caught my eye was— “and of course the production budget was tiny, less then $100k.”

Hmm. A tiny budget, less than $100k, for a QR code bouncing around on the screen… something you could get done for on Fiverr for $30?

This brought to mind something copywriter Dan Ferrari wrote a few years ago. Dan was writing about big changes in the DR world. This bit has stuck with me ever since:

Because I’m not sure you’re aware, but there’s still a HUGE world outside of the digital players I’ve been talking about so far.

They’re now entering our world as well.

Specifically, I mean big direct response TV spenders and “brand” companies.

Why? Because their channels are drying up. Everything is moving digital.

I recently met with one of the top execs for a HUGE direct response TV company.

They make even the $200M per year financial publishers look small.

Guess what they’re doing?

Moving online. TV doesn’t work nearly as well for them anymore.

So watch as companies with products and businesses that don’t really fall into our little world of internet direct response start to require the services of people that know how traffic, copy, and funnels work online, at mega-scale.

Just to be clear:

I’m not suggesting you try to sell direct marketing to clueless brand businesses. If their idea of good advertising is a glossy page in a magazine, showing a man in a rowboat, in the middle of a lake, with the company logo hiding somewhere in the corner… well, you won’t change their mind.

But like Dan says, we might be in the early days of a giant opportunity.

So if you are enterprising, now might be the time. The time to take standard DM insights… and sell them to a virgin direct advertisers like Coinbase. The production budget? A mere trifle — $100k or $300k or maybe just a mil.

But perhaps you don’t know enough about how traffic, copy, and funnels work online.

In that case, sign up to my email newsletter — because these are all things I write about regularly.

Reddit vs. Hacker News: How to get better customers, clients, readers, and business partners

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Paul Graham is a computer programmer, writer, and early-stage tech investor.

His startup fund, Y Combinator, helped start a bunch of famous companies, like Airbnb, Dropbox, DoorDash, Instacart, Zapier, and Reddit.

The total valuation of all Y Combinator companies is now over $400 billion. Y Combinator owns 7% of that, or roughly $30 billion.

Really, the only reason I know this is because I’ve been a regular reader of Hacker News for the past 14+ years.

Hacker News is a news board. Graham started it in 2006 as a way of sharing interesting ideas and getting connected to tech talent. Today, Hacker News gets over five million readers each month.

I’ve been thinking about creating something similar, just with a different focus. So I was curious to read Graham’s 2009 article, What I Learned From Hacker News, about the early experience of creating and running HN.

This bit stood out to me:

But what happened to Reddit won’t inevitably happen to HN. There are several local maxima. There can be places that are free for alls and places that are more thoughtful, just as there are in the real world; and people will behave differently depending on which they’re in, just as they do in the real world.

I’ve observed this in the wild. I’ve seen people cross-posting on Reddit and Hacker News who actually took the trouble to write two versions, a flame for Reddit and a more subdued version for HN.

Maybe this only stood out to me because something I’ve thought and written about before.

Your content, marketing, and offers select a certain type of audience. That much is obvious.

What is less obvious is that your content and marketing and offers also change people. Because none of us is only one type of person all the time.

So if you want an audience that’s smarter, that’s more respectful, that’s more thoughtful and less scatterbrained, then make it clear that’s what you expect. And lead by example.

This can be transformative in your everyday dealings with clients, customers, readers, and prospects. And who knows. It might even become the foundation on which you build a future online community.

If you found this interesting, you might like my email newsletter. You can sign up for it here.

The blood-drive bobblehead bonus

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A friend of mine once gave blood because the Red Cross was giving away bobbleheads.

If you’re not American, you might not know what a bobblehead is—

A little figurine, plastic or ceramic, with an oversized head on a spring. Tap the head and it starts bobbling around, hence — bobblehead.

My friend normally never gives blood. And his experience giving blood this time was particularly slow, painful, and scary.

In the rush and push of the big blood drive, the nurses forgot about him. He looked on in panic for what seemed like a long winter, convinced that air bubbles were coming up into his veins.

And yet, he did it, for the bobblehead, because he’s a big baseball fan.

My friend staggered out afterwards, clutching his bobblehead of Brooks Robinson, the legendary third baseman for the Baltimore Orioles.

“Please take me home,” he said weakly.

So I gave him a ride back to his place, where he spent the next three days sleeping and recovering, with the Brooks Robinson bobblehead next to his pillow.

My point being, you can sell a lot of unsellable stuff by giving away a free gift.

​​But you probably knew that already.

So let me zoom in a little and point out that you can sell a lot of unsellable stuff by giving away a completely unrelated free gift.

Most bonuses in the DM world tend to be relevant to the main offer:

“Order a ThighMaster NOW and get FREE a ButtMaster plus a copy of Suzanne Somers Toning System™ workout video!”

But a free bonus doesn’t have to be related to your core offer. And in fact, it might work better if it isn’t.

The blood-drive bobblehead is just one example.

I also remember hearing Dan Kennedy give a couple of other examples.

The magazine Advertising Age, which sold subscriptions with a bonus mug. No relevant bonus could outpull the mug.

And Omaha Steaks, which sold steaks, from Omaha. Their best-performing free bonus was a calculator.

Why?

​​Who knows. Just know this:

If your current offer is as much fun as giving blood… then your free bonus doesn’t have to be a kidney removal.

And now, please sign up for my email newsletter. If you do, I’ll send you a free bonus, a picture of the cover of Breakthrough Advertising, with Gene Schwartz’s name blocked out and your name pasted in.

Let’s see if I can make you watch the SuperBowl

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A few days ago, I was listening to an old episode of the James Altucher podcast, and I learned this curious fact:

A person who bets any amount of money on a game is 11x more likely to watch the game.

I’m not sure if this means that you can get people to watch a game, just by getting them to bet. But I’m willing to find out.

Because there’s an old marketing idea that I’ve long thought is super clever.

As far as I know, nobody today in the DM world is using it, at least not online. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you can correct me.

Here’s the idea. It comes from direct marketing legend Joe Sugarman, the guy who made BluBlocker sunglasses into a $300M brand.

Joe once wrote an ad promoting a computer. He ran it around the time of the SuperBowl.

The ad basically said, if the Bears win the SuperBowl, you get this computer at 50% off. If they lose, the price stays as it is. And here’s the outcome, in Joe’s own words:

“There was a lineup of people — we had a retail store — there was a literally a lineup of people all the way around the block waiting to pick up their computer that they were getting for 50% off. The funny part about it was that we were making a nice profit on that as well.”

Like I said, I’m willing to test this idea out.

So I just checked. The Superbowl is in 8 days.

And I happen to be working on a new offer. It’s called Copy Zone. It’s about succeeding in the business part of copywriting — getting started, finding clients, managing clients, performance deals, upleveling.

I am planning to get Copy Zone out by the end of this month. And I’m planning to sell it for $150 to start. But I’ll make you a wager:

If you pick the winner of this Superbowl right — Bengals or Rams — you get my Copy Zone offer for 50% off, or for $75, during the launch window.

Of course, you gotta buy a ticket if you want a piece of this action.

Fortunately, the ticket to play this game is free. But it is time-limited.

So if you want to play this game of chance, you’ll need to get on my email list first. Then just hit reply to my welcome email and pick this year’s SuperBowl Winner.

Bengals. Or Rams.

You have time to enter until I send out my email tomorrow, Monday, Feb 7 2022, at 8:24 CET.

​​Call — or rather, email — now. Our bookies are standing by.

Copy Riddles if you want ’em or not

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Today I’m reopening Copy Riddles for a few days.

This brief enrollment window will close this Sunday at 12 midnight PST. The actual Copy Riddles program will kick off next Monday, January 31, 2022.

If you are by chance already convinced that you want to join Copy Riddles, you can do that at the link below.

If you’re not convinced that you want to join Copy Riddles… or you don’t even know what Copy Riddles is… it might also be worth visiting link below.

Because that’s where I’ve laid out exactly what this program is. And I’ve built up my best case why Copy Riddles can quickly and pretty easily implant A-list copywriting skills into your head.

But perhaps you are certain you do not want to join Copy Riddles.

And perhaps you’re wondering where your lighthearted copywriting insight is for the day.

In that case, I’d like to tell you about the “super fun” tactic one elite copywriter has found to  keep his prospects reading past his lead… and ultimately buy. Yes, even in cases when his lead is a little weak.

If you’re curious about that, the answer is still to click the link below and read the page that appears.

So whether you’re highly aware… mildly unaware… or firmly opposed to the power and value of this program I call Copy Riddles… the only suggestion I have for you is to click below and take the next logical step:

https://copyriddles.com/

Why do scammers say they are from Nigeria?

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According a site that tracks online fraud, 51% of all scam emails mention Nigeria.

It seems self-defeating. Everybody knows it’s a scam. The “Nigerian prince” has become a stock joke.

So what gives? Are scammers so dumb? Don’t they know that everyone is on to them?

Well, we now have the answer, thanks to Cormac Herley, a researcher at Microsoft.

Herley came up with a mathematical model of the scammer’s dilemma.

And after a lot pencil sharpening… crumpled-up papers… and banging his fist on the desk… Herley finally solved his mathematical equations.

The answer to “Nigerian scammer” riddle is this:

1. Sending out spam emails is pretty close to free.

2. But “selling” the prospects who reply to those emails takes time and effort.

3. And so scammers want their front-end marketing to repel everybody but the most gullible. Because…

Those are the only people who the scammer can hope to profit from. That’s why scammers say they are from Nigeria… exactly because it sets off warning sirens to almost everyone except real prospects.

Ok, maybe this isn’t the kind of mind-blowing conclusion that required a bunch of fancy math.

But still, it sounds like a solid second argument for what Ben Settle calls repulsion marketing.

The first argument is psychological:

By saying things that repel the people you don’t want… you create a tighter bond with the people you do want. Because if you’re not saying anything to piss off a few people, you’re not saying anything to make anybody bond with you, either.

But the Microsoft research gives us a more practical reason to repel.

Because these days, there are a bunch of ways to get a bunch of free prospects. For example:

You can implement Daniel Throssell’s “Referral Magnet” strategy to create a kind of flywheel for new email subscribers…

Or you can post your stuff on your blog and let Google serve it up to the world forever…

Or you can go into popular Facebook groups, and spread your peacock tail for all to admire.

Free. All of it. But then comes the second step:

Fielding questions/requests/offers from prospects… dealing with customer service… handling refunds if you offer them.

All of these things have a real cost, whether in terms of time, actual work, or simply your psychological well-being.

So my takeaway for you is:

Start repelling people. Or get off my list.

Because as freelance forensic consultant Sherlock Holmes once said:

“When you have eliminated all who would be impossible or improfitable to sell, then whoever remains, however improbable, must be your prospect.”

Are you still reading?

Damn. I tried so hard to repel you. In that case, the only thing left for me to do, even though it hurts me to do it, is to offer you a spot on my email newsletter. Click here and fill out the form.

New personality dimension to ask about your market

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One evening some 50 years ago, a mother showed up at the hospital with her 3-year-old son, who had a large white turban on his head, made of a bathroom towel.

Every so often, the mom would start muttering under her breath.

​​And then she’d smack the boy, hard, on the back of the large white lump on his head.

They were admitted to see the doctor.

​​”What seems to be the problem?”

The mom sighed. She started unwrapping the towel. And there it was:

A bright yellow potty on the boy’s head.

“He jammed his head into it when we weren’t looking,” the mom said. “It’s on so tight that we can’t get it off. We tried everything. Can you help, doctor?”

The point of this story is:

I’ve had doctors in my family.

My mom was a doctor. My grandma was a doctor. In fact, she was the doctor in the story above. (In the end, she sawed the potty off the boy’s head.)

And yet, in spite of this family connection to honest, hardworking, helpful doctors… my knee-jerk, perhaps shocking reaction today is:

You can’t trust what doctors say. Especially as an organized group.

Look at that scandal I wrote about yesterday. Not so long ago, doctors endorsed a specific brand of cigarettes.

And things haven’t changed since. Doctors today might not endorse cigarettes. But as a bunch, the medical industry remains self-serving… short-sighted… and open to corruption.

Again, that’s my knee-jerk reaction. I’m not saying it’s well-reasoned. And I’m not trying to convince you.

I just want to share an interesting idea I read recently:

The US is quickly splintering into two groups, and it’s not the two groups you might think. It’s not Left vs Right, atheist vs religious, Democrat vs. Republicans, vaccinated vs unvaccinated, or even COVID-cautious vs COVID-so-damn-over-it.

The divide between the two groups is this: people whose default setting is to trust institutional narratives, and people whose default setting is to be skeptical of them; people who believe them unless/until proven otherwise and people who disbelieve them to equal measure.

Maybe this idea is not new to you. But it was new to me.

​​I kept going back to it over and over in conversations with friends. I found it much more telling than talking about political views.

That’s why I wanted to share it with you. This “new divide” idea might be valuable to you as a kind of personality test for your audience, market, or niche. Or for yourself.

Anyways, I read this idea in an article by a writer who calls herself Holly Math Nerd.

Holly goes into much more detail and explanation of her theory, and gives some interesting predictions, as well as more examples in attitudes to medicine, education, and media.

So if this idea resonates with you — or if you’re skeptical of it — you can investigate more for yourself here:

https://hollymathnerd.substack.com/p/on-default-settings-and-the-real

Gary Bencivenga: The best way to create an offer that sells

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Today I found myself in a hypnotic trance, reading through an article titled,

“Charlie Munger: 20 Book Recommendations That Will Make You Smarter.”

When I got to the end of the article, I slowly started to wake up.

“What the hell am I doing?” I asked myself. “How many thousands of books do I already have on my to-read list? Why did I need to click on this article and why did I make it all the way to the end?”

It might be obvious:

It’s because it’s Charlie Munger’s recommended books. And Charlie Munger is a successful and smart guy… so his recommendations might make me smarter and more successful too. At least that’s how my brain rationalized it.

In my mind, this goes back to the advice of Gary Bencivenga, the man many have called the “best copywriter in the world.”

Gary’s entire copywriting philosophy was built around proof. And Gary believed that, while proof in your copy is great, proof embedded in your offer is even greater.

When I think a bit, I see that’s what got me to click and consume the “offer” of that article today. Because that article could just as well have been,

“Charlie Munger: 20 Negotiation Tips That Will Make You Richer.”

Or, “Charlie Munger: 20 Mental Models That Will Make You Stronger.”

Or, “Charlie Munger: 20 Indian Dishes That Will Make You Fuller.”

With any of those offer variations, but with Charlie Munger again at the core, I probably would have still wound up in a trance.

And vice versa.

Imagine that same article had been titled, “20 Really Fantastic and Valuable Book Recommendations.”

​​And if you go to read the article… there’s a case study right up top of Charlie Munger… and how he made a bunch of money by applying an idea from the first book on the list.

Yes, that case study would be proof. And yes, it would be valuable. But it would be nowhere as valuable as basing the entire offer around Charlie.

But perhaps I’m not making this “proof offer” idea clear. So consider something Gary Bencivenga himself did.

At some point in the 70s, Gary started working for a direct response marketing agency. Gary wrote an ad for the agency itself to hunt for new clients. He ran the ad in the Wall Street Journal — and got his agency swamped with new work.

How did he do it?

Well, there was a ton of proof throughout the entire ad. How the agency works… how they reward copywriters… case studies of past clients.

But all that was nothing compared to the actual proof-centered offer. The entire ad was built around that offer. In fact, it featured right in the headline:

“Announcing a direct response advertising agency that will guarantee to outpull your best ad.”

So there you go. Build your offer around an embedded proof element, and watch your prospects get into a buying trance. But…

Perhaps I’m still not making this “proof offer” idea clear enough.

In that case, you might like to read more about it.

And you can do so in Commandment I of my little book, The 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters. Yes, I took Gary’s advice when titling that book. For more info:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments