Email Marketing

The Dwight Schrute school of email marketing

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“I like the people I work with, generally, with four exceptions. But someone committed a crime, and I did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy to make friends. And by the way, I haven’t.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office

This morning I concluded the launch weekend of my new aromatherapy book.

Spoiler alert: everything went according to plan.

I sent out a lot of emails.

I sold quite a few books — in fact, more than I had anticipated.

And I also got some unsubscribes.

It’s this last bit that I want to talk about.

Before I started this promotional launch (which spanned 4 days and involved 9 promo emails), I sent out an “email avalanche warning” to my subscribers.

I told them what the email forecast was for the weekend, and I also told them that, in case they don’t want to hear me pitching my book, they have two options:

1. They can ignore my emails until next week

2. They can unsubscribe

And sure enough, a few people (though not very many) did unsubscribe at that point.

However, once the email launch actually kicked off last Thursday, more people unsubscribed, including a few who had been faithful readers of my blog and email newsletter for several years.

And my reaction, without any bitterness or sarcasm, was Schrute-like. (In case you don’t know, Dwight Schrute is the jackhammering, hard-working, merciless alpha male assistant to the regional manager from the TV show The Office.)

You see, with a few exceptions, I generally like the people who are subscribed to my email newsletter.

But I’m selling a book and trying to make a solid business out of my Unusual Health website.

And I did not become a low-level aromatherapy expert to make friends.

In other words, when people who would never buy anything from me unsubscribe from my emails, I actually feel glad to see them go.

Anyways, if you want more details about my ebook launch strategy, including the reasoning behind the emails I sent and the schedule I used, you’ll want to get a copy of my upcoming book on email marketing for the health space.

Fact: It’s not out yet, but you can get a free copy when I do finish it.

Here’s where you can find out more:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

What’s the frequency, Brian?

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Did you know a group of ladybugs is called a “loveliness”?

Entomologists might not use this term, but it is what former CBS anchorman Dan Rather seems to call a ladybug congress. I found this out from a Tweet that Dan posted today.

He seems very chipper these days, does old Dan, enjoying being retired and spending time with his grandson. But it wasn’t always so.

As you probably know, poor Dan got beat up on the streets of New York back in ’86 by a guy who kept yelling, “Kenneth, what is the frequency?”

The “Kenneth” phrase became a kind of 80’s meme and inspired the big R.E.M. hit, “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”

The song’s lyrics are opaque and also include the line, “Richard said, ‘Withdrawal in disgust is not the same as apathy.'” This in turn comes from a scene in the movie Slacker, directed by Richard Linklater, in which one of the characters offers Oblique Strategy cards to a passerby, and the “Whithdrawal in disgust” card is what the guy picks.

Oblique Strategies, by the way, are cards designed by Brian Eno and Peter Schmidt. They hold short, cryptic instructions to help with creative work.

This links back to the R.E.M. song, which slows down at the end. Apparently, the bass player had appendicitis as the song was being recorded, and they had to stop playing and rush him to the hospital. They never finished the recording properly. I don’t think this was one of Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies, but it runs in the same vein.

You may think this is aimless rambling. And it is — but there is a point to it as well.

A while back, Ben Settle linked to a video that he said was very influential in how he wrote emails. The video is titled “Admiralty Law: Word Controlled Humans & The Law of Money” and it’s the recording of a presentation of one Jordan Maxwell, a world-famous conspiracy theorist.

The video is kind of mind-bending to watch, and the email marketing lesson I drew from it is the power of stringing two ideas together in surprising ways. Each idea has to be somewhat interesting on its own, at least to you. The way you string them together is also up to you — it doesn’t have to make too much sense.

Why do this?

Well, one reason is that surprising people is always a good thing. It wakes them up and makes them pay attention.

But there’s a second, and possibly more important reason. And that is:

Because these are your curious associations between different facts and ideas, they give your unique flavor to what you write. It’s this unique voice that helps you build a relationship with your readers. And ultimately, building a relationship is the highest level of email marketing.

So developing your own voice can be done consciously, like I did with the “Kenneth” stuff above.

The thing is, this association game is not the only way to develop a unique voice for your copywriting.

There are several other strategies. I’ll go over them in similar detail in my upcoming book on email marketing. If you want to get a free copy when it comes out, sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

Thanksgiving frustrates Bejako’s turkey

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I’m preparing to launch my new book on essential oils, and while I’m pretty much ready to pop this turkey in the oven, there’s a snag:

This Thursday is Thanksgiving.

The day after is “Black Friday.”

And the Monday after is “Cyber Monday.”

Which means every retailer, online and offline, will be bombarding their email lists with offers and special discounts.

Not a good time to try to vie for attention, especially since I plan to do so starting on a Thursday and ending on a Monday.

I’ll have to wait a week.

No problem though, because it will give me time to write all my promotional emails ahead of time.

And there will be a lot of them.

I’m largely following the product-launch strategy that Ben Settle outlined in his September 2017 issue of Email Players.

And it’s something I’ve applied once before, with a lot of success, for a big client, RealDose Nutrition.

This is an 8-figure company in the supplement space.

I rewrote their front-end autoresponder along the same lines I will be using for my own product launch.

The outcome was a 30% increase in sales — and that’s for a company built on direct response, and one that already relied heavily on email marketing.

If you want to get the full details of what I did for RealDose, you’re in luck.

Because this will be an ongoing case study in my upcoming book on email marketing for the health space.

The book is not out yet, but if you want a free copy when it does come out (it will sell for $17 after that), you can sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails/

How a hardened criminal won over a nation in 16 minutes

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I just watched the most remarkable interview.

It was done on one of the local TV stations in Croatia, by one of the country’s most respected TV anchors.

The interviewee was one Olivera Ćirković:

The face of an unrepentant criminal

Yes, Olivera is a statuesque and handsome blonde. But there’s much more to her than just looks.

Back in her native Serbia, she was the child of a wealthy family, a straight-A student, and even a professional basketball player for Red Star Belgrade.

More interestingly, she is also a former jewel thief who has organized dozens of heists and has stolen millions of dollars worth of valuables.

And she’s also somebody who has done prison time on at least 3 occasions, and who made a daring and successful escape her last time in the hoosegow, earning herself the unusual credential of being the only woman ever to escape from a Greek prison.

Now, Olivera is a published author (an autobiography, predictably), with an eye to a big Hollywood movie deal about her life.

And yet:

All of these exceptional things are not what is most unique or impressive about this real-life Pink Panther.

Instead, it is her attitude and her way of speaking and carrying herself that is pure gold (or diamonds).

In fact, during this 16-minute interview, she managed to visibly charm and win over the normally serious and hardened TV anchor.

And by what I’ve heard from my secret contacts on the streets of Zagreb, she seems to have done the same with just about everyone who saw her on TV.

What’s Olivera’s secret?

Well, I can think of at least five separate things.

And I’ll be expanding on them in full detail in my upcoming book on email marketing.

You see, this book will contain a section about the mindset and attitude that you should have when communicating with your audience through email.

This attitude section won’t be relevant for all situations. But if you’re planning on sending out daily emails, particularly in a first-person, hello-from-the-CEO style, then there’s a lot you can learn from Olivera and her natural charisma.

Anyways, if you want to Pink Panther your way to a free copy of my book, you’re in luck. All you need to do is sign up at the link below, and I’ll send you a copy when it’s out:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails

Omnipresent and unexplained email content

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Pop quiz:

What do the following headlines all have in common?

1. How did cool become such a big deal?
2. Why it’s hard to sound like Jimi Hendrix
3. A comprehensive guide to yellow stripey things
4. Why whales got so big

(The third one, by the way, was for an infographic on the differences between wasps, bees, yellow jackets, hoverflies and dirt daubers.)

Think you have it?

Ok, let’s compare answers. Here’s what I had in mind:

Each of these headlines promises to explain a part of your world that is so obvious that it’s actually not understood. Something you’re well aware of, but you’d never really thought about before. Something that gets you saying, “Yeah, that’s right! Why is that?”

These kinds of topics can easily be modeled to write interesting emails. For example, applying them to various health markets, we get:

1. How did essential oils suddenly become such a big deal?
2. Why it’s hard to avoid belly fat past 35
3. A comprehensive guide to different types of erectile dysfunction
4. Why your joints don’t self-repair like other tissue

(Health markets are in fact a very good match for this kind of topic. We all have a lot of experience with our bodies, and yet much about them remains a mystery.)

In short: find something omnipresent but still unexplained (at least to non-specialists). Put it in your subject line, and then write a short email surprising people and opening their eyes with the answer. And then, tie this into whatever you’re selling.

Easy.

Peasy.

By the weasel, this is one of about two dozen email topic ideas I will be sharing in my upcoming book about email marketing for health products.

If you want to find out what the other ones are (they’re very exciting), you’ll need to read the book. You can sign up here to get it when it comes out:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails

How to use Disney movies to sell health info courses

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Below you’ll find a Pinocchio-themed email I wrote a year ago for a new course on essential oils.

This email is short (I wish I could always write such short emails).

And yet, it has all the elements that I normally put in to promote a health product:

1. Something cute/funny/interesting
2. Something informative/useful
3. A related call to action

Here goes:

SUBJECT: Essential Oil Pleasure Island

In Disney’s fantastic 1940 film Pinocchio, there’s a place called Pleasure Island.

Pinocchio winds up there on the advice of a sly fox called Honest John.

At first, Pleasure Island appears to be every boy’s dream.

You can do whatever you choose: play pool, smoke cigarettes, even get drunk.

However, the place hides a horrible curse.

The stray boys who end up there eventually turn into donkeys and are sold into slave labor.

That’s exactly what happens to Pinocchio’s friend Lampwick, while Pinocchio manages to get away with only some donkey ears and a tail.

This is the cute part — simply telling a cautionary tale that’s clear, easy to understand, and is likely to draw a smile. Continuing:

Now I’m sure this Pleasure Island can be a metaphor for many things in life.

But if you’re curious about essential oils, then I just want to warn you about the many “Honest John” characters out there on the Internet.

They’ll tell you to do whatever you want with essential oils: drink them, massage them onto your skin undiluted, even cook with them.

Beware.

There’s a price to pay for listening to that misleading advice, usually in the form of a rash or a burn or an allergic reaction.

This is the informative part. Nothing super heavy here, but useful to essential oil newbies — the target audience for this course.

The fact is, safe and reasonable use of essential oils might not seem as exciting at first, but it’s a lot more sustainable and useful in the long run.

My new EO Pioneers course tells you how to avoid Essential Oil Pleasure Island, or if you’ve already landed there, how to get away without donkey ears or a tail.

If you don’t want sly foxes leading you by the nose, here’s more information on this new course:

www.unusualhealth.com/essential-oil-pioneers/

Finally, this is the call to action. Again, nothing complex here — simply a brief explanation of what the course is about, and how it can help you if you’re new to essential oils (along with a bit of call-back humor).

And that’s all it really takes.

As easy as 1-2-3.

If you want more examples of how I’ve used this simple template to sell supplements as well as health info courses, you might like to sign up for a free copy of my upcoming book on email marketing:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails

The Bohemian Rhapsody trick for creating a big opening

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The camera follows him as the curtain is drawn — and a sea of chanting people filling the stadium to capacity roars on from the other side

I just watched Bohemian Rhapsody.

The film is a pretty straightforward retelling of the story of Queen, with of course, a focus on Freddie Mercury.

It traces the band from their time meeting behind a local concert hall and follows them for the next decade or so, all the way to the climactic concert at Wembley Stadium, where they performed to an ecstatic audience of close to 100,000.

In fact, that’s how the movie opens up.

While the rest of the script is chronologically linear, the opening is all about Freddie waking up, trimming his mustache, making his way through his mansion (populated by dozens of filthy cats), being driven in a Rolls-Royce to the stadium, and then warming up as he walks up to the stage.

The camera follows him as the curtain is drawn and a sea of chanting people filling the stadium to capacity roars on from the other side.

It’s a good way to start a movie.

And the same holds for starting emails.

You need to capture people’s attention straight away.

And even though you probably have a linear script in mind for what you’d like to say, that’s probably not the best way to present the information.

The good news is, it’s not hard to spruce up a regular ol’ email and make it into a sexy email.

Just go in once it’s written, find the highlight of the email, and splice it in up top.

You can keep the rest of the email as is.

This isn’t cheating in any way — you’re simply giving people a preview of the interesting things to come, and a reason to keep reading.

Once you have people’s attention, you can then take them to your important and serious message.

Such as for example, my upcoming book on email marketing for health products.

It’s not out yet.

But if you would like a free copy when it does come out, you can sign up here:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails

Announcing Profitable Health Emails

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I’m putting together a book tentatively titled Profitable Health Emails.

It’s going to collect what I’ve learned so far about email marketing, and what I’ve used to help companies such as RealDose Nutrition, Australian Digestive Excellence, and Vitality Now make some money.

I’m expecting to finish the book by January 2019.

In case you’d like a free copy when it’s done, you can sign up for it here:

https://bejakovic.com/profitable-health-emails

When infotaining emails fail

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In 1975, the great copywriter Gary Bencivenga joined an upstart direct marketing agency.

They soon put out a gutsy ad in the Wall Street Journal to hunt for new clients. The headline ran:

“ANNOUNCING A DIRECT RESPONSE ADVERTISING AGENCY THAT WILL GUARANTEE TO OUTPULL YOUR BEST AD.”

There were only two catches:

1) You had to give Gary & co. creative freedom on the kind of ad to write — only legal and factual approval was asked for and allowed.

2) You actually needed better advertising. In Gary’s own words, “If we think your present advertising is excellent, we’ll tell you.”

I thought of this today because I’m looking over the wreckage of several email campaigns I wrote for a client over the past few months.

I put in serious work on these emails, and I thought I did a great job. When I handed them over to the client, he loved them. But apparently, they are underperforming what he was using earlier.

The thing is, I saw the earlier email sequences, and I was confident I could do better. They were dull and too heavy on the teaching, and I was going to make them intriguing and infotaining.

But that’s not enough.

What I should have asked for in addition to seeing the email copy is a breakdown of where the sales were coming from.

Were they all on day 0, and people weren’t even reading the emails?

Did sales trickle in as the relationship was established (which means that people actually liked reading the old emails)?

Was it all about the discounts (and was the copy largely irrelevant)?

Were the emails actually making any sales (the client hinted that they weren’t making any money through email marketing)?

Too late to ask now, because the client seems to have moved on to greener pastures.

However, going forward, I’ll insist on this sales info for two reasons:

1) It will help me decide whether I can in fact write emails that will do better. It’s not just about seeing the copy, but about finding out how that copy performs.

2) If I feel I can beat the emails, this info will give me useful clues about how to best do that.

Maybe obvious. But even old Gary above didn’t think to ask for the results in his gutsy ad — which makes me feel a bit better.

A subject line that’s good enough for Groucho Marx

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“Mrs. Briggs… I’ve known your husband for many years, and what’s good enough for him is good enough for me.”

I’ve recently written several autoresponder sequences that culminate with a discount for the product on sale. However, it’s no good to just announce this in the subject line by saying “15% off coupon inside”.

Why not?

Because it’s boring.

Because everybody does it that way.

Because it only focuses on the hyper-buyers, and drives away everyone else.

Because with a little bit of work, it’s possible to get the same message across, while creating curiosity, building a relationship, and thereby actually increasing response.

So how do you do it? Here are a few ideas:

#1 Tease. Announce that you’ve got an incredible offer in the subject line, without saying explicitly what it is. Then carry this on throughout the email as long as possible without pissing the reader off. Example: “A free fermenting offer you probably can’t refuse”.

#2 Testimonial connection. Include a testimonial in the body of the email and find an entertaining way to tie into this in the subject line. Example: “A discount that will disappear like a late-night snack”.

#3 Pop culture reference. Find a movie, TV show, celebrity, PS4 game, whatever — and in some way tie it in to the offer (or don’t tie it in — it’s more important that it’s entertaining than that it ties in perfectly). Preferably, choose a bit of pop culture that won’t seem dated six months from now. Example: “A discount that’s good enough for Groucho Marx”.