Copywriting

BEJ cage match: Derek Johanson vs. John Carlton

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Over the past 24 hours, I got two interesting emails in conflict with each other.

The first email is from Derek Johanson, the guy who created Copy Hour. Derek’s email is about how much of direct response copy is “over-the-top bad,” with claims of “effortless” results. Or as Derek puts it, “pop a pill, overnight success type stuff.”

Derek’s message is that we can and should do better.

Then there’s an email that John Carlton sent. Carlton probably needs no introduction. But if you’re new to direct response, then know that John Carlton is one of the most successful and influential copywriters of all time. He writes:

“Most humans are a walking shrink session, with all their deepest and most humiliating secrets just spewing off of them all the time. […] Most folks just stumble through life half-asleep. Too caught up inside their own heads to realize what’s actually going on at the meta-level. […] Knowing this, you automatically have an enormous advantage in all negotiations. Something to put in your tool kit, anyway.”

Of course, both Derek and John are right. Most direct response copy is pretty awful. And that’s because, if it works, it probably speaks to your prospect’s deepest and darkest insecurities.

Prod at somebody’s insecurities… and you’ll see him at his most grateful, passionate, engaged, hopeful, and willing to spend money.

But are you doing your prospect a service in this way?

You can claim you are. Obviously he responds intensely… and you might be able to help.

Or you can claim you are not. After all, you are poking into a wound and making sure it never heals.

So what’s the conclusion?

I think it’s a personal choice you have to make. And I think it runs deeper than just how ugly and hard-hitting you are willing to make your copy.

Should we look for acceptance and gratitude of what we have, like a cow on a pasture? Or is there value in endless striving, like a hamster in a wheel?

I have my own esoteric opinion on this matter. But that’s getting into quirky stuff… and it’s probably not why you signed up for these emails.

Still, this topic is something to keep in the back of your mind as you navigate your own career. If you come clean to yourself with your own feelings about it, you might find yourself both more successful and more at peace with what you’re doing. “Something to put in your tool kit, anyway.”

Anyways, maybe you want more stuff like this. Maybe you are afraid to miss out on good ideas. Or you just want to always improve, and are looking for any good way to do so.

In that case, you might like to subscribe to my email newsletter on persuasion and marketing. Here’s where you can do that.

Can this A-list advice replace your customer avatar?

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You’ve probably heard the ancient advice to write your sales copy to a customer avatar.

In other words, rather than thinking of your market as a gassy cloud, without substance or a face… you come up with a real person to represent your ideal customer.

So you have their name… a little blurb of who they are and what they want and what their problems are… and maybe even a photo you can look at.

And the advice is to write to this one person. Because instead of writing something vague and unbelievable… you will write something specific and real.

Sounds good. Except:

Your target audience might not be one single type of person. It might be two or three or more. For example, this daily newsletter I write? It goes out to business owners, marketers, established copywriters, and newbie copywriters.

Also, even though a customer avatar should be based on research… I find that in practice, it’s often an invention of the marketer’s mind. Because of this, a customer avatar can be misleading rather than helpful.

And as a third problem, a customer avatar might focus on the wrong things. Demographic info is often not relevant to making your sale. On the other hand, an avatar might miss crucial information to making the sale that is relevant. Two people standing shoulder by shoulder in the same market can be very different from each other.

So should you take your avatar and set it on fire, like the “Año Viejo” doll that Colombians burn on New Year’s Eve?

I’m not saying that. But there is an alternative to a customer avatar for you to consider.

It’s something I heard during a recent binge of listening to interviews with A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos.

Parris said to find the top 3 psychographic characteristics of your list. For example, for the Boardroom offers Parris often wrote for, these three characteristics were:

1. Paranoid (typical angles: What your bank doesn’t want you to know, 12 smiling swindlers)

2. Looking for an “angle” (a secret, a loophole, a way to get over)

3. Like to brag about how smart they are

When you figure out these top 3 psychographic characteristics, you can use them to inform your offers, your headlines, and your body copy. Take a look at any Boardroom control ever, and you will see it in practice. Something like, “Money-saving secrets your CPA is too dumb to know about.”

But your market might be different. Maybe they are gullible rather than skeptical. Maybe they need more proof than promises. Maybe they want a push-button solution, or maybe they have been trained to believe only hard work produces good results.

You can find all this out. Just look at what they’ve bought before… the copy that worked to sell them… and the copy that bombed.

Odds are, you will see patterns, unique insights, which might be different from standard copywriting dogma about what buttons you should push.

Write to these characteristics instead of to a made-up customer avatar… and you might develop magical persuasion powers, by tapping in to your prospect’s deep and unconscious triggers.

And for more information like this:

I have an email un-newsletter, full of age-old wisdom like what you just read. If you’d like to subscribe, click here and follow the simple instructions.

Slow readers of the world, unite and take over

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It’s one of the most upsetting ideas I’ve read recently:

James Altucher wrote a few weeks ago that we each have maybe 1000 books left in us to read, for the rest of our lives.

The math checks out: 20-30 books per year, for about 40-50 years more of living and reading.

That’s a depressing thought to me. Books are one of the main ways I get any ideas and insights. But it gets worse:

Because when I read, I’m as slow as a tortoise after lunch.

Last year, I read only 10 non-work related books (“Le Morte D’Arthur” took me 5 months to finish) and maybe another 7 work related books (some of which I was reading for the second time). And that’s in spite of taking time out to read every day.

By Altucher’s calculation, at this rate, I will only read 799 more books by the time I croak at my pre-appointed moment of 87 years young.

That’s depressing.

But wait, you might say, surely there are ways to learn to read faster?

I guess there are. But I am resistant to them. For a long time, my only justification was stubbornness.

But then I thought about why I rarely get any value out of “Cliff’s notes” summaries of books, even ones I’ve put together myself.

And that’s why I want to leave you with a throwaway (but valuable) idea that Dan Kennedy shared once during a seminar.

This idea might make you feel better if you too are a slow reader like me.

And if you are not, and you whiz through text, or you have clever hacks to condense and speed up content so you can consume more of it faster, it might make you consider slowing down.

Anyways, here’s the idea. At the start of a seminar DK once gave on being a more successful copywriter, he said not to worry about taking notes.

Kennedy said that if you come away from the seminar with 20 pages of notes, then he has failed. But if you come away with three or four things you are determined to change, then he has succeeded. And he summed it up with the following insight, which I want to leave you with:

“You don’t get value out of what I say, but out of what you think of when I say it.”

Here’s a final warning:

If you are focused on getting the most quality reading done for the rest of your life, it probably makes no sense to read much stuff on the Internet.

But if you don’t heed this warning, then you might like to read the email newsletter I write each day. Think about it carefully… and if you so choose, go here to sign up.

This bit of advice made an A-lister’s career

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During a recent interview, A-list copywriter Parris Lampropolous shared a story from early in his career.

Back then, Parris was writing his first magalog.

A magalog, as you might know, is a format for sales copy that mimics a magazine. It was a popular way to sell newsletter subscriptions back in the 90s and 2000s, before the Internet started to have its finest hour.

A typical magalog had a main “message from the editor” that ran the length of the “magazine.” It also had a dozen sidebar articles on individual topics.

How to write all this shit? It seems like a huge amount of work, and it’s hard to know where to even start. And that’s how it seemed to Parris back when he had to write his first magalog.

So Parris asked his mentor, Clayton Makepeace, for advice. And Clayton told Parris writing a magalog was simple:

You start by writing a bunch of fascinations, aka bullets, based on the content you are selling.

Some of these fascinations will have weak payoffs. In other words, there’s a good chance the reader will be disappointed when he finds out the “secret.”

So those weak fascinations stay “blind” fascinations, and just go into the sales pitch that is the message from the editor.

But some fascinations will have great payoffs, real forehead-slapping stuff. Those fascinations become sidebar articles, and reveal the secret.

And Clayton also told Parris the following:

The first few pages of the magalog are all good content… then it shifts to being 50/50 sales and content… and by the end it’s all sales pitch.

That’s all it takes to write a magalog.

So that’s what Parris started to do, with great success. He went on to have magalog controls at major publishers like Boardroom… and some of those magalogs earned him $1M+ in royalties. In the interview, Parris said this bit of advice on how to write a magalog made his career.

“Great for Parris,” you might say. “But how am I supposed to use this info with today’s copy formats?”

I’m glad you ask. Because it seems to me the magalog advice maps neatly to writing emails to promote an information product.

​​Start with fascinations… write an email for each fascination… reveal the rare good payoff… keep the fascination with a weak payoff blind.

And if you run a campaign that’s got a deadline (and why wouldn’t you), you can even follow the magalog structure of keeping the first part of the sequence all good content… then 50/50 content and selling… and finally all teasing and pitch.

But that’s not all. You might be able to use this magalog advice for other copy formats too.

For example, tomorrow I’ll share how you can use it in a sales medium you’ve probably never heard about… the rare and elusive kindlealog.

If you’d like to read that article, you might like to sign up for my email list. It’s where my articles appear first, and with no fascinations kept blind, even the most underwhelming stuff. Click here if you’d like to sign up.

The breakthrough from the first time Parris Lampropoulos met Clayton Makepeace

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Parris Lampropoulos once told a story about the first time he got to hang out with one of his mentors, Clayton Makepeace.

At this time, Clayton was one of the most successful freelance copywriters in the world. He had a list of controls longer than a giraffe’s tail. And he was pulling in over $1M a year, back when that was Hollywood money.

In part, Clayton did it by having a stable of talented junior copywriters, including Parris, working under him.

So at one point, Clayton invited the copywriters working for him out to Lake Tahoe. And it was a sight to see.

Clayton was staying there at the presidential suite at a ritzy hotel… getting pampered with massages and facials… eating out at the fanciest restaurants… and picking up the tab for his guests.

Generous.

And for Parris, a breakthrough.

Because at that time, Parris had already been a freelance copywriter for several years. He said he knew intellectually that a freelance copywriter could make Clayton-levels of money… but he still didn’t feel it deep inside.

He needed to see it with his own eyes, in order to make it a reality in his own life. Which is exactly what happened — in the months and years following that first in-person meeting with Clayton in Tahoe.

I bring this up because:

1) It might be useful to you if you are also hoping to reach Hollywood levels of success, and because

2) On a psychological level, your prospect is the same as Parris was back then.

Your prospect might know intellectually what you’re trying to convince him of… but odds are, he still doesn’t feel it deep down.

That’s why the most common writing advice is to show and not tell. And that’s why the most common copywriting advice is to use stories and demonstration. Because these are the most powerful tools you have to drive home a point — even one your prospect has heard a million times — and finally make it real.

And then, you can make your pitch. For example:

I have an email un-newsletter, where I talk about not new, but still valuable, fundamentals of persuasion and marketing. If you’d like to subscribe, here’s where to go.

How to get among the top 10% of all copywriters in one year

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According to copywriter Victor Schwab, the three most expensive words in advertising are:

“My wife says.”

That might sound like an outdated notion. And no wonder.

Schwab wrote that observation in a book called How to Write a Good Advertisement, back in 1942. That was an eternity ago.

But Schwab’s book is still worth reading. And re-reading. In fact, I read it once last year and once more this year. And I will re-read it next year too.

That’s because I once heard A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos say to do it. Parris said that if you want to get among the top 10% of copywriters, the process is straightforward:

Just read his recommended list of 13 books 3 times each.

The first time, read them like beach reading. The second time. underline. The third time, copy out your notes by hand.

And Parris said that, if you want to, you can do this all in just one year. (I’m a slow reader so it’s taking longer.)

Anyways, Parris only shared his book list and the process above with his small group of copy cubs… and later, with people who heard him speak in one way or another.

I fell into the second group. So I never wrote about this list before because I figured it was one of Parris’s trade secrets.

And it was, until a few months ago. Because in a public interview that Parris gave then to The Copywriter Club people, he explained everything I just told you. And ever since, his list is up on the Copywriter Club website.

So do you have a year to spare? And would you like to improve your copywriting to the top 10% level? If so, here’s where to start:

https://thecopywriterclub.com/parris-book-list/

Amazing networking secret discovered by one-legged pick up artist

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Two days ago, John Carlton sent out an email about networking. (John is an A-list copywriter, most famous for his “Amazing Secret Discovered by One-Legged Golfer” ad.)

Anyways, John says there are at least three main networking styles you need to master.

The first style is being super polite and deferential.

The second is being hush-hush, like you’re sharing secrets you don’t want others to know.

The third is loud and boisterous, or, as the English say, taking the piss.

According to John, if you want to get good at networking, you’ll have to get good at each of these styles. And you’ll have to know how to move among them. Which brings up a warning:

If you see others bonding and networking using one of these styles, this doesn’t mean you want to go in with the same.

For example, back in the day, people kept coming up to John and Gary Halbert. John and Gary made a point of insulting each other. It was their locker-room style of networking and bonding. But when outsiders came in with the same, it was offensive and fell flat.

So here’s my added take. It’s based on what experience I’ve had establishing rapport with unfamiliar people.

And it can be summed up with a piece of meat-market advice from “pick up artist” Mystery (who has one leg, and then another). Mystery said:

“Treat a six like a ten, and a ten like a six. You won’t go wrong.”

In terms of networking, this means when I see somebody boisterous… I’m more likely to approach in a polite and deferential way.

When I see somebody polite and nice… I’m more likely to go in — not insulting them — but teasing them a bit.

And when somebody’s getting all hush-hush… well, then I figure it’s time to get all hush-hush too. But I also get on my guard. Because there’s a good chance the other person is just pumping me for information.

What good is this to you? I’m not sure. But if you ever again network outside of a Zoom meeting… then the three above styles — and Mystery’s advice — might be worth keeping in the back of your mind.

And for more pick up-inspired business advice, you might like to sign up to my email un-newsletter.

A chilling Christmas card from the FTC

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Maybe you’ve already heard about Operation Income Illusion. It’s the FTC’s latest action, and it started earlier this month — just in time for Christmas.

The FTC filed lawsuits against five different companies. Among these is Raging Bull, a big and successful player in the financial publishing space.

​​Raging Bull got a restraining order prohibiting it from doing any more marketing… and it had its assets frozen.

So what exactly did Raging Bull to draw the eye of the FTC? From the FTC site:

“The defendants claimed in their pitches that consumers don’t need a lot of time, money, or experience, and that the global coronavirus pandemic represents a great time to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to learn their secret trading techniques, claiming in one ad that the pandemic ‘…might be the most exciting opportunity in decades!’ The defendants also made claims like ‘Learn how you could DOUBLE or TRIPLE your account in One Week!'”

Errr…

That sounds a lot like the VSL I just finished writing for a real estate investing opportunity. So I find this whole Income Illusion thing a bit chilling.

Because from what I’ve seen in the past, when the FTC goes after a direct marketing company, that company is probably doing something really shady.

But the FTC took issue with Raging Bull over pretty standard direct marketing practices. Making big claims… using the most flattering testimonials… appealing to people’s greed and sloth.

I have no idea where this will go in the future. Maybe the lawsuit will be dismissed… maybe it won’t, but Raging Bull will somehow beat it… maybe it will be a one-time action by the FTC to set an example, without broader consequences. Or maybe it’s a sign of things to come.

In any case, it’s something to keep an eye on.

Now here’s an unrelated pitch, also in time for Christmas:

I’m launching a weekly email newsletter about travel during corona (“…the most exciting opportunity in decades!'”). The first issue will go out tomorrow, right on Christmas Day. If you’re interested, you can sign up at the link below:

https://masksonaplane.com/

My first ever copywriting job

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Today I paid somebody $25 to photoshop a corona mask onto a picture of Samuel L. Jackson.

Now I’m no Jack the Photoshopper, but this doesn’t sound like a tremendous task. And $25 for it seems neither a little nor a lot.

The interesting thing is this all happened on Fiverr. That’s where I got my start in copywriting, back when Obamas still roamed the West Wing. My first job was a 7-part autoresponder sequence, Andre Chaperon-style, about an ebook on disciplining your cat.

I had no trouble getting work on Fiverr. But back then, the default was still $5 for a task. In spite of all the people hiring me, I couldn’t make that work. After 2-3 months, I moved on to Upwork.

If you’re a newbie freelancer and you have no other avenues for getting your first client, Fiverr might be a more viable option. If that’s what you want to do, how do you get started?

I shared 6 tips for succeeding on Fiverr with my email subscribers. These were based on my time on the platform, and I think they are pretty unique. Unfortunately, you missed that boat. But if you like, you can still subscribe to my email newsletter, so you don’t miss out again in the future.

A warning about success from an anti-establishment Jeremiah

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Andy Warhol said, “Always leave them wanting less.”

In that spirit, today I want to share a long quote with you. It comes from Jason Leister, who is a copywriter and used to write about dealing with freelancing clients… but has now become an anti-establishment Jeremiah, all the way down to renouncing his American citizenship.

Anyways, the following quote from Jason felt like a warning to me. I want to pass on the warning to you too, in case you deal with clients or customers, or you expect to one day:

There’s the “success” that leads to more work for more money.

Then there’s the “success” that leads to less work for more money.

If your business is currently structured so that more “success” simply leads to more work, then ask yourself if that’s the right direction for you. If it’s not, figure out a way to change that sooner than later.

Does that leave you wanting less? Or more?

If more, then you might like to subscribe to my email newsletter. It arrives every day and many people find it overwhelming.