Copywriting

This bit of advice made an A-lister’s career

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During a recent interview, A-list copywriter Parris Lampropolous shared a story from early in his career.

Back then, Parris was writing his first magalog.

A magalog, as you might know, is a format for sales copy that mimics a magazine. It was a popular way to sell newsletter subscriptions back in the 90s and 2000s, before the Internet started to have its finest hour.

A typical magalog had a main “message from the editor” that ran the length of the “magazine.” It also had a dozen sidebar articles on individual topics.

How to write all this shit? It seems like a huge amount of work, and it’s hard to know where to even start. And that’s how it seemed to Parris back when he had to write his first magalog.

So Parris asked his mentor, Clayton Makepeace, for advice. And Clayton told Parris writing a magalog was simple:

You start by writing a bunch of fascinations, aka bullets, based on the content you are selling.

Some of these fascinations will have weak payoffs. In other words, there’s a good chance the reader will be disappointed when he finds out the “secret.”

So those weak fascinations stay “blind” fascinations, and just go into the sales pitch that is the message from the editor.

But some fascinations will have great payoffs, real forehead-slapping stuff. Those fascinations become sidebar articles, and reveal the secret.

And Clayton also told Parris the following:

The first few pages of the magalog are all good content… then it shifts to being 50/50 sales and content… and by the end it’s all sales pitch.

That’s all it takes to write a magalog.

So that’s what Parris started to do, with great success. He went on to have magalog controls at major publishers like Boardroom… and some of those magalogs earned him $1M+ in royalties. In the interview, Parris said this bit of advice on how to write a magalog made his career.

“Great for Parris,” you might say. “But how am I supposed to use this info with today’s copy formats?”

I’m glad you ask. Because it seems to me the magalog advice maps neatly to writing emails to promote an information product.

​​Start with fascinations… write an email for each fascination… reveal the rare good payoff… keep the fascination with a weak payoff blind.

And if you run a campaign that’s got a deadline (and why wouldn’t you), you can even follow the magalog structure of keeping the first part of the sequence all good content… then 50/50 content and selling… and finally all teasing and pitch.

But that’s not all. You might be able to use this magalog advice for other copy formats too.

For example, tomorrow I’ll share how you can use it in a sales medium you’ve probably never heard about… the rare and elusive kindlealog.

If you’d like to read that article, you might like to sign up for my email list. It’s where my articles appear first, and with no fascinations kept blind, even the most underwhelming stuff. Click here if you’d like to sign up.

The breakthrough from the first time Parris Lampropoulos met Clayton Makepeace

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Parris Lampropoulos once told a story about the first time he got to hang out with one of his mentors, Clayton Makepeace.

At this time, Clayton was one of the most successful freelance copywriters in the world. He had a list of controls longer than a giraffe’s tail. And he was pulling in over $1M a year, back when that was Hollywood money.

In part, Clayton did it by having a stable of talented junior copywriters, including Parris, working under him.

So at one point, Clayton invited the copywriters working for him out to Lake Tahoe. And it was a sight to see.

Clayton was staying there at the presidential suite at a ritzy hotel… getting pampered with massages and facials… eating out at the fanciest restaurants… and picking up the tab for his guests.

Generous.

And for Parris, a breakthrough.

Because at that time, Parris had already been a freelance copywriter for several years. He said he knew intellectually that a freelance copywriter could make Clayton-levels of money… but he still didn’t feel it deep inside.

He needed to see it with his own eyes, in order to make it a reality in his own life. Which is exactly what happened — in the months and years following that first in-person meeting with Clayton in Tahoe.

I bring this up because:

1) It might be useful to you if you are also hoping to reach Hollywood levels of success, and because

2) On a psychological level, your prospect is the same as Parris was back then.

Your prospect might know intellectually what you’re trying to convince him of… but odds are, he still doesn’t feel it deep down.

That’s why the most common writing advice is to show and not tell. And that’s why the most common copywriting advice is to use stories and demonstration. Because these are the most powerful tools you have to drive home a point — even one your prospect has heard a million times — and finally make it real.

And then, you can make your pitch. For example:

I have an email un-newsletter, where I talk about not new, but still valuable, fundamentals of persuasion and marketing. If you’d like to subscribe, here’s where to go.

How to get among the top 10% of all copywriters in one year

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According to copywriter Victor Schwab, the three most expensive words in advertising are:

“My wife says.”

That might sound like an outdated notion. And no wonder.

Schwab wrote that observation in a book called How to Write a Good Advertisement, back in 1942. That was an eternity ago.

But Schwab’s book is still worth reading. And re-reading. In fact, I read it once last year and once more this year. And I will re-read it next year too.

That’s because I once heard A-list copywriter Parris Lampropoulos say to do it. Parris said that if you want to get among the top 10% of copywriters, the process is straightforward:

Just read his recommended list of 13 books 3 times each.

The first time, read them like beach reading. The second time. underline. The third time, copy out your notes by hand.

And Parris said that, if you want to, you can do this all in just one year. (I’m a slow reader so it’s taking longer.)

Anyways, Parris only shared his book list and the process above with his small group of copy cubs… and later, with people who heard him speak in one way or another.

I fell into the second group. So I never wrote about this list before because I figured it was one of Parris’s trade secrets.

And it was, until a few months ago. Because in a public interview that Parris gave then to The Copywriter Club people, he explained everything I just told you. And ever since, his list is up on the Copywriter Club website.

So do you have a year to spare? And would you like to improve your copywriting to the top 10% level? If so, here’s where to start:

https://thecopywriterclub.com/parris-book-list/

Amazing networking secret discovered by one-legged pick up artist

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Two days ago, John Carlton sent out an email about networking. (John is an A-list copywriter, most famous for his “Amazing Secret Discovered by One-Legged Golfer” ad.)

Anyways, John says there are at least three main networking styles you need to master.

The first style is being super polite and deferential.

The second is being hush-hush, like you’re sharing secrets you don’t want others to know.

The third is loud and boisterous, or, as the English say, taking the piss.

According to John, if you want to get good at networking, you’ll have to get good at each of these styles. And you’ll have to know how to move among them. Which brings up a warning:

If you see others bonding and networking using one of these styles, this doesn’t mean you want to go in with the same.

For example, back in the day, people kept coming up to John and Gary Halbert. John and Gary made a point of insulting each other. It was their locker-room style of networking and bonding. But when outsiders came in with the same, it was offensive and fell flat.

So here’s my added take. It’s based on what experience I’ve had establishing rapport with unfamiliar people.

And it can be summed up with a piece of meat-market advice from “pick up artist” Mystery (who has one leg, and then another). Mystery said:

“Treat a six like a ten, and a ten like a six. You won’t go wrong.”

In terms of networking, this means when I see somebody boisterous… I’m more likely to approach in a polite and deferential way.

When I see somebody polite and nice… I’m more likely to go in — not insulting them — but teasing them a bit.

And when somebody’s getting all hush-hush… well, then I figure it’s time to get all hush-hush too. But I also get on my guard. Because there’s a good chance the other person is just pumping me for information.

What good is this to you? I’m not sure. But if you ever again network outside of a Zoom meeting… then the three above styles — and Mystery’s advice — might be worth keeping in the back of your mind.

And for more pick up-inspired business advice, you might like to sign up to my email un-newsletter.

A chilling Christmas card from the FTC

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Maybe you’ve already heard about Operation Income Illusion. It’s the FTC’s latest action, and it started earlier this month — just in time for Christmas.

The FTC filed lawsuits against five different companies. Among these is Raging Bull, a big and successful player in the financial publishing space.

​​Raging Bull got a restraining order prohibiting it from doing any more marketing… and it had its assets frozen.

So what exactly did Raging Bull to draw the eye of the FTC? From the FTC site:

“The defendants claimed in their pitches that consumers don’t need a lot of time, money, or experience, and that the global coronavirus pandemic represents a great time to pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to learn their secret trading techniques, claiming in one ad that the pandemic ‘…might be the most exciting opportunity in decades!’ The defendants also made claims like ‘Learn how you could DOUBLE or TRIPLE your account in One Week!'”

Errr…

That sounds a lot like the VSL I just finished writing for a real estate investing opportunity. So I find this whole Income Illusion thing a bit chilling.

Because from what I’ve seen in the past, when the FTC goes after a direct marketing company, that company is probably doing something really shady.

But the FTC took issue with Raging Bull over pretty standard direct marketing practices. Making big claims… using the most flattering testimonials… appealing to people’s greed and sloth.

I have no idea where this will go in the future. Maybe the lawsuit will be dismissed… maybe it won’t, but Raging Bull will somehow beat it… maybe it will be a one-time action by the FTC to set an example, without broader consequences. Or maybe it’s a sign of things to come.

In any case, it’s something to keep an eye on.

Now here’s an unrelated pitch, also in time for Christmas:

I’m launching a weekly email newsletter about travel during corona (“…the most exciting opportunity in decades!'”). The first issue will go out tomorrow, right on Christmas Day. If you’re interested, you can sign up at the link below:

https://masksonaplane.com/

My first ever copywriting job

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Today I paid somebody $25 to photoshop a corona mask onto a picture of Samuel L. Jackson.

Now I’m no Jack the Photoshopper, but this doesn’t sound like a tremendous task. And $25 for it seems neither a little nor a lot.

The interesting thing is this all happened on Fiverr. That’s where I got my start in copywriting, back when Obamas still roamed the West Wing. My first job was a 7-part autoresponder sequence, Andre Chaperon-style, about an ebook on disciplining your cat.

I had no trouble getting work on Fiverr. But back then, the default was still $5 for a task. In spite of all the people hiring me, I couldn’t make that work. After 2-3 months, I moved on to Upwork.

If you’re a newbie freelancer and you have no other avenues for getting your first client, Fiverr might be a more viable option. If that’s what you want to do, how do you get started?

I shared 6 tips for succeeding on Fiverr with my email subscribers. These were based on my time on the platform, and I think they are pretty unique. Unfortunately, you missed that boat. But if you like, you can still subscribe to my email newsletter, so you don’t miss out again in the future.

A warning about success from an anti-establishment Jeremiah

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Andy Warhol said, “Always leave them wanting less.”

In that spirit, today I want to share a long quote with you. It comes from Jason Leister, who is a copywriter and used to write about dealing with freelancing clients… but has now become an anti-establishment Jeremiah, all the way down to renouncing his American citizenship.

Anyways, the following quote from Jason felt like a warning to me. I want to pass on the warning to you too, in case you deal with clients or customers, or you expect to one day:

There’s the “success” that leads to more work for more money.

Then there’s the “success” that leads to less work for more money.

If your business is currently structured so that more “success” simply leads to more work, then ask yourself if that’s the right direction for you. If it’s not, figure out a way to change that sooner than later.

Does that leave you wanting less? Or more?

If more, then you might like to subscribe to my email newsletter. It arrives every day and many people find it overwhelming.

 

In the land of the warm-bathers, the November swimmer is a hero

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One morning in late November, I decided to go swimming in the sea. I got to the shore, stripped down to my swimming panties, and started to hop on the cold stones towards the water.

An old woman walking her dog stopped to watch, mouth agape.

“You’re going in?” she asked.

“I am,” I said.

“But it’s cold!”

“We will see.”

I got in the water, swam a minute or two, and got out. The old woman was still there. She was thrilled I had survived. “You are a hero!” she shouted, clapping her hands.

I shrugged it off. “It was nothing.”

It really was nothing. The water wasn’t cold at all. It was probably warmer than the Pacific Ocean in California gets in July. Only the locals in this country, who refuse to get in the sea unless the sun has brought it to a low boil, could crown me a hero for going for a swim now.

Which connects to something I read today in a Dan Kennedy sales letter. The sales letter is selling a course on how to become a more successful copywriter.

At one point of this sales letter, Dan gives the reader reasons NOT to buy his course. One reason he gives is that you really don’t have the chops to do decent work, and to deserve a decent wage. In that case, Dan says, maybe you should stick to only the smallest clients, and only the most limited projects.

Has that thought ever crossed your mind? If it has, I want to leave you with what Dan writes next:

“You should remember copywriter John Francis Tighe’s favorite admonition: in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. You need only know more than the client and enough to produce results he could not get on his own. You do not need to know more than every copywriter, most copywriters. If that governed, there’d never be more than one working copywriter, period.”

Check it:

If you want regular copywriting tips, which occasionally touch on the business of copy, you might like my email newsletter.

Obnoxious writing, or, the harsh mathematics of direct response

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Amazing. Free. New. Breakthrough.

Fascinating. Shocking. Secret.

Now.

I’ve started keeping a list of highly inflammatory direct response words.

You can see some of them above. There’s no sense in me sharing the rest. Everybody who is in this business has to pluck these words up for him or hoyself. And then comes the hard part:

You have to actually use them.

I say “hard part” because chances are you are a little like me.

Maybe you find typical direct response writing obnoxious.

Maybe you say, I would never read this, much less buy this “easy genius opportunity.”

Maybe you think you can be the one to talk to people modestly and simply… and convince them with your earnest speech to listen.

Maybe you can.

I certainly cannot.

After years of writing copy for money, the harsh mathematics of direct response is slowly dawning on me.

A typical sales letter goes out to thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions of people.

If only 98 out of 100 of those people look at your sales letter and say, “Ugh”… then you’ve done good, as long as the remaining 2 buy.

And if a measly 95 out of each 100 people think your writing is obnoxious and repulsive… while those remaining 5 didn’t notice, because you put them in a drooling trance… then you’ve got a ticket to ride.

Speaking of repulsive, maybe that’s what you should focus on the next time you write copy.

​​Rather than trying to appease people who are offended by ugly, hard-hitting, direct response copy… maybe you should actively aim to drive them away. Because as marketer Ben Settle reports:

“In fact, I have found the more I repel the people I don’t want, the more I automatically turn on the people I do. And the more I do this, the more my sales go up. The less I do it, the less my sales go up.”

In closing:

I have an email newsletter. If you are just looking for “swipes,” then subscribing to my newsletter won’t do you any good. Save yourself the effort. However, if you are a business owner who wants to hear what’s working now, at least with the clients I work with… or if you are a copywriter who is interested in those genius secrets of the business… then you may get some value out of it. Here’s where to go to subscribe.

Burn objections out of your prospect’s mind using nothing more than a tiny success

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What’s the Spanish word for “different”?

I don’t speak Spanish. But here’s a trick:

When a word in English ends in “ent,” you can tack on an “e” at the end. More often than not, you get the right Spanish word.

So try it now.

Tack an “e” onto “different.” You get “differente.” And that’s how the Spanish and about 200 million South Americans would say it in their own tongue. Same with persistente, permanente… you get the gist.

With a few simple rules like that, an English speaker gets around 3,000 words in Spanish for free.

Not bad. Definitely enough for basics of conversation. Also more than most adult language learners ever manage to memorize.

I learned about this in a teach-yourself-Spanish course called Language Transfer. This course is available for free online. But if it wasn’t… everything I just told you would be a hell of a thing to put into a sales letter to promote and sell this course.

Because demonstration is the most powerful form of proof.

And if you can demonstrate to your prospect that he’s already on his way… then much of his skepticism and doubt will disappear.

By the way, this is not limited to language learning only.

As just one example, there’s Gene Schwartz’s famous “BURN DISEASE OUT OF YOUR BODY” ad. It ran successful for over 20 years. I’m sure that part of its success was that, under subhead three, it gives you an exercise you can try for yourself. “Sit or stand, with your hands simply extended in front of your chest…” You will feel the energy flowing, and your heart getting stronger.

One final point:

You don’t need to give away the farm. Just give your prospect a tiny success, right there on the sales page. If you can do that, you will burn objections out of his mind. What’s going to be left is an innocent and pure desire to buy your product… and find out what else it can do.

Ok, now for business:

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