Troll Management

I’m now offering a $5 typo bounty

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Ever since I published my most recent book, “10 Commandments of Con Men, Pick Up Artists, Magicians, etcetera” last May, I have been running ads on Amazon to promote it.

Inevitably, whenever I start to stray far afield from the homey little village that is my email newsletter audience, and into the dark woods and wastelands of the cold traffic Internet, I find that people are not as kind as forgiving as they are back home. For example, here is a new 3-star review of my book:

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meh… Reads like advertising copy… Oh wait it is, at the end of the book he is asking you to subscribe to his email list. save your money and go to the source material. At one point he says he is using a 24-word title to stand out… to me it looks more like key-word packing.

Oh yes… there are typos, repeated lines, bad formatting, bad book layout, inconsistent spelling of peoples names… Seriously dude, proofread your work.

===

I went on an emotional rollercoaster when I saw this review.

First, anything at 3 stars or below hurts my fragile ego.

But then my ego bounced back when seeing that this review really has nothing to say about the content of my book, meaning the ideas or even the writing inside. It seems to be solely focused on finding things to pick at, like typos.

As for those, I did proofread my book multiple times. I caught some typos, but not all. I then had a number of beta-testers of the book proofread the book, and they caught some more. But it’s certainly possible that some typos snuck through.

So let me take a page from Joe Sugarman’s book, and make you a deal:

If you find a typo in my new 10 Commandments book, write me to tell me about it, and I’ll PayPal you $5. ($5 will cover the cost of the book if you’re getting it on Kindle.)

The only thing is, I will only reward the first person to find a given typo, and I’ll be documenting the reported typos in ​this Google Doc​. The sooner you send me your caught typo, the more likely you are to get a typo bounty.

If you have my book already, maybe reread it and see if you can catch me?

And if you don’t have my book, maybe get it now and give it a read?

Beyond just trying to get the spelling and formatting right, I put a lot of work into the ideas in this book, and into finding interesting stories to illustrate those ideas.

To prove that, here are some more favorable reviews, many of them, though not all, from folks closer to home, meaning this email newsletter:

#1. “The information John shares is invaluable for both your personal life and your professional life…especially if that professional life involves influencing others.”

#2. “This book seriously is a must read as you will understand at a deeper level human nature.”

#3. “Full of practical advice, information and life-changing wisdom.”

#4. “It’s got new and useful ways to look at sales and influence, that I’ve been testing and enjoying.”

#5. “I see it becoming one of those books I read at least once a year. It’s that good!”

#6. “I’ve read a lot of books in this space and this is one of my favorites. He skips over the common knowledge and dives into really eye opening insights.”

#7. “If the human mind intrigues you, then read this brilliant little book by John Bejakovic.”

For more info, or if you need a copy:

https://bejakovic.com/new10commandments

Drive X: Why people online are such brutes

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Following my email yesterday about a new 2-star review of my 10 Commandments book, a bit of a discussion developed inside my community, Daily Email House, around the topic of:

“How do you deal with trolls, critics, and know-it-alls in your audience?”

One House member replied that she “stopped caring and installed a ‘mean’ part of me that can trigger people.”

To which another House member replied with some interesting historical context:

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The Internet has been like this since the age of the dinosaurs (the 1990s) when all we had were chat room and Usenet lists to abuse each other.

Back when everything was anonymous I did the same thing: develop a “mean” persona to play online because that’s the only way to survive a forest of predators.

After online turned social [sic] and we gave up on privacy, the urge to be a jerk behind a screen never went away.

It’s convinced me that a good portion of the public suffers from some kind of mental or emotional disturbance.

===

But if a good portion of the public has a mental or emotional disturbance… is it a disturbance any longer?

I’m not trying to be cute or contrary.

Rather, I think the House member above is on to a key insight about human nature.

It’s not that people are brutes by nature. But they do have a core human drive — let’s call it Drive X for the sake of mystery — which can turn them brutish.

Drive X is not the drive for sex, the way that Sigmund Freud taught.

It’s also not the drive for meaning in life, the way Victor Frankl taught.

Rather, Drive X is something entirely different, which permeates all our interactions with other human beings, online as well as offline.

When left unsatisfied, Drive X gives rise to brutish behavior.

But when Drive X is satisfied, people become open and relaxed and even compliant.

Which is why the world’s top influence professionals — from con men to copywriters to screenwriters — appeal to this Drive X and promise to satisfy it in their marks, prospects, and audiences, first and foremost, above all other considerations.

And that’s why, in my 10 Commandments book, I make Drive X the topic of the very first commandment, because it is PARAMOUNT.

If you have my 10 Commandments book already, you know what Drive X is, or you can look it up easily, at the end of Commandment I.

And if you don’t have my 10 Commandments book yet, you can find it below, and catch up to everyone who is clued in already:

https://bejakovic.com/new10commandments

Mmeh!

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I’m back to Barcelona, I slept well last night, and I just went for a bike ride along the sea, where the Sunday morning weather couldn’t be more beautiful.

That’s why I was thrilled — well, at least not very put off — by a new and glowing 2-star review of my new 10 Commandments book.

An old, experienced, and spelling-challenged reader writes on Amazon:

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Mmeh!

Not sure why I both this book. It has lots of anicdotes and examples of what magicians, marketers and sales people do to convince or con audiences but nothing really eye opening. While it may offer something unique to someone with no experience, I maybe too old and experienced for this crap.

===

To this reviewer, I say Mmeh!

It’s never fun or exciting to be told how a magic trick is done.

And the same really goes for learning the magic of copywriting, or comedy, or even pickup.

Persuading other humans to have a certain experience, or to do something you want them to do, is ultimately about putting on a show, an effect, a presentation for the audience to see.

Discovering the technique that goes into that cannot compare to the excitement and emotional stimulation that you feel as an unwitting participant or audience member.

Discovering those behind-the-scenes tricks can only become fun or exciting once again in case you become so obsessed and deeply enmeshed in the craft that good technique and ways to improve it become sexy to you on their own.

My reviewer above says he is too old and experienced. I imagine that means he has dabbled a lot, constantly buying more stuff in search of something novel and stimulating, but putting little of what he’s been exposed to into practice.

It’s hard to please an audience like that, and frankly, I don’t try to do it.

On the other hand, if you are new to the topic of influencing and persuading others…

… or if you are old and experienced, in the sense of having put a lot of what you’ve learned about human psychology into practice — whether selling, or making people laugh, or making girls say yes to you — then you are likely to find something unique, fun, and even valuable in my book.

For more info, or if you’d like to both this book right now:

https://bejakovic.com/new10commandments

I couldn’t give this new reviewer one star

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Last week, I wrote an email about an Amazon customer who wrote the first 4-star review of my new 10 Commandments book (all the other reviews were 5-star up to then).

The review was to the effect of, “the book is really 5 stars, but nothing’s perfect.”

I took a joking tone and gave that reviewer a “4-star review” in an email I sent to my whole list.

Well, the universe must have liked that because it’s now thrown a similar though entirely flipped opportunity in my path.

Here’s my most recent, 2-star review from Amazon customer LouisXIV, who didn’t even want to give my book those two stars:

“I couldn’t give it one star…had to give it two because it at compelled me to buy. This book is a magic trick from a (former?) pick up artist. It’s a bunch of stories loosely strung together. To be fair, I was familiar with a lot of these concepts already so someone may get more out of their introduction. Throwing it the garbage but kudos to the author for getting me to buy! 🤣”

I cannot give this new reviewer five stars, because nobody’s perfect. But I certainly cannot give him one star either. Not only is he helping me write this email and make some sales, but everything he says is true. Namely:

“This book is a magic trick…”

Why thank you.

“… from a (former?) pick up artist.”

… you’re making me blush but ok…

“It’s a bunch of stories loosely strung together.”

Yes, and it took a lot of work to get it so. The whole concept of the book is 10 commonalities among 10 seemingly unconnected disciplines:

“10 Commandments of Con Men, Pickup Artists, Magicians, Door-to-Door Salesmen, Hypnotists, Copywriters, Professional Negotiators, Political Propagandists, Stand Up Comedians, and Oscar-Winning Screenwriters”

It took a few years of research and a lot of fiddling to string together the stories that illustrate 10 common techniques used in these fields, as well as the underlying psychology and neurology common to all human beings, which you can then apply to your own life, even if you’re not, say, a pickup artist or a magician.

As for the techniques and principles themselves, they might not all be new to you, but you won’t find any of them in Cialdini’s Influence. Again, that’s by intention and design. For example, take Commandment VI:

“The best way to respond when someone accuses, mocks, or criticizes you. A trick used by pickup artists, which works on men as well as women. (Politicians obey this commandment too, too, from Andrew Jackson in 1828, to Ross Perot in 1990, all the way to Donald Trump in 2016.)”

If you’re as knowledgeable as LouisXIV seems to be, you might already know what this is. You might even have spotted me using it, right in this very email.

But if you’re not 100% sure, or you simply want to hear me go into this in more detail, via several stories that I’ve managed to string together in the most delicate and loose way, you can find it all in my book.

Maybe you’ll even give me kudos for getting you to buy it. In case you’re curious:

https://bejakovic.com/new10commandments

Nobody’s perfect: I give 4 stars to this new reviewer of my book

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Jerry: Osgood, I’m gonna level with you. We can’t get married at all.

Osgood: Why not?

Jerry: Well, in the first place, I’m not a natural blonde.

Osgood: Doesn’t matter.

Jerry: I smoke! I smoke all the time!

Osgood: I don’t care.

Jerry: Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I’ve been living with a saxophone player.

Osgood: I forgive you.

Jerry: [tragically] I can never have children!

Osgood: We can adopt some.

Jerry: But you don’t understand, Osgood! Ohh… [Jerry pulls off his wig] I’m a man!

Osgood: [shrugs] Well, nobody’s perfect.

Those are the closing lines of the greatest comedy of all time, as ranked by American Film Institute, namely, Some Like It Hot.

These lines came to mind because last night I checked the Amazon page for my new 10 Commandments book.

I published the book back in May, and though reviews were slow to come at first, I have amassed 46 reviews so far. Well, 46 ratings, from 1 to 5 stars, most of which don’t actually have any kind of review text beyond the number of stars.

So far, while I’ve gotten a couple 4-star ratings and even a 3-star, all the actual thoughtful reviews with written words were accompanied by 5 star ratings as well.

Until last night.

I now have a new text-based review, only 4 stars, which says:

“Book is 5 stars really but nothings perfect… This book seriously is a must read as you will understand at a deeper level human nature…”

What to say?

I give this reviewer 4 stars. I would give him or her 5 stars for the nice things said about my book… but nobody’s perfect.

In any case, if you STILL haven’t yet read my “must-read” book that will help you “understand at a deeper level human nature” — and you know who you are, and I know you are reading — then here’s where to find the number one comedy… and pickup… and con game… and hypnosis… and sales etc. book, as rated by the BFI, the Bejako Fund of Infotainment:

https://bejakovic.com/new10commandments

Bob the mole gets kicked out my garden for the 4th time

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I got an exciting reply to my email yesterday:

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Hi!

Thank you for the offer. May I please have a copy of What’s Grown My List Over The Years, Vol. 1-6?

Bob

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I rubbed my palms and grinned at this. “Here we go!”

Bob is not a new subscriber to my Daily Email Habit, which was the condition I had set and clearly stated for giving away, as a free bonus, a guide I’ve created, “What’s Grown My List Over The Years, Vol. 1-6.”

Instead, Bob is both a new and an old reader of this newsletter, who has never bought anything from me, and who I keep unsubscribing from my list, year after year.

Bob first signed up to my list back in 2020. He used to reply to my emails from time to time in a slightly self-entitled tone that always left me feeling put off, though I couldn’t quite place why.

Then in 2021, he replied to one of my emails accusing me of lying. At that point I unsubscribed him, wrote a nice email about it, and then forgot all about Bob.

Fast-forward to 2023. Bob found his way onto my list again. Within a few days, he again sent me a message that had something slyly aggressive and accusing about it.

I unsubscribed him for the second time without even replying, and I wrote a nice email about it.

Then it happened again a few months later in 2023. Same deal.

Finally, Bob resubscribed to my list this past Monday. I was waiting and wondering how long it would take him to reply to one of my emails in some sort of self-entitled, mildly irritating way. It didn’t take long. And so here we are, with me writing a new email about Bob, after I’ve unsubscribed him for the 4th time.

Marketing to an audience is often compared to gardening. The usual biblical analogies apply — you have to prepare the soil, plant the right seeds, tend to them, and be patient.

If you do all those, then those seeds multiply thirtyfold or sixtyfold or even hundredfold. Not only do you get richer as a result, but you get the pleasure of seeing your garden grow and thrive from season to season, and your good work turn meaningful.

Of course, from time to time blights come along, big and small. Sometimes a mole pops up in your garden, and demands a carrot or a beet, for no good reason other than that it wants one, and quick.

My personal policy in that case is to pick up the mole, thank it for tilling and aerating my soil for me, and then place it outside the walls of my garden, so it can come back next season and do its good work again.

But enough mole analogies.

Because the deadline do get “What’s Grown My List Over The Years, Vol. 1-6” is tonight at 12 midnight PST.

This guide sums up 6 list-growing techniques, which I’ve jokingly called “magic list-growing secrets Big Email doesn’t want you to know.” (I’m telling you now, they’re no secrets at all. It’s a joke, so don’t write in and accuse me of lying.)

Instead, these 6 techniques all take time, money, or effort (pick any two). But if you can get a bit of any two of money, time, or effort, and if you apply them steadily, then people start finding you — like Bob the mole keeps finding me, year after year.

If you’d like to try out Daily Email Habit for a month and get “What’s Grown My List Over The Years, Vol. 1-6” as a free bonus, the deadline is nigh:

https://bejakovic.com/deh

PJ gives my book between 2 and 3 stars

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Yesterday, I checked Goodreads, where my 10 Commandments Of A-List Copywriters sometimes gets reviews that aren’t visible on the Amazon page.

It turned out I have a new, negative, 2.5-star review, from Goodreads user PJ.

When I saw this, I first went to the kitchen, got a long and sharp knife, and settled in to deal with PJ. Then I started to read his review:

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2.5 – closer to a 3 than 2

Not enough actionable insights in this book. Some excellent tips and history overall – but the lack of conceptual relevance between commandments hurt this book. If this had cohesive structure as to why and how these “commandments” coincide with one another, a summary section after each chapter, and many more examples, this could easy be a stalwart in the niche. There were a lot of good insights but I left every chapter thinking how I can really apply these techniques properly, and without contradicting one another as went on further.

I also think that a pitch for a newsletter should be done subtly and should be omitted from a paid product; despite this being a copywriting book.

===

What can I say?

I put my large and sharp knife away and just shrugged.

If PJ wants a single, unified copywriting system, with tons of examples, summary sections, and with detailed explanations that resolve the contradictions that show up whenever human psychology is involved, then he looked in the wrong place. (Maybe it’s for the best.)

My little 10 Commandments book, which happens to cost $5, never claimed to be a cohesive, exhaustive stalwart of copywriting education.

However, I do have something that does make those promises. It’s my Copy Riddles program.

PJ probably won’t ever find out about Copy Riddles – I’m guessing he never responded to my in-book pitch for this free newsletter.

But you are here. And you are reading.

And if you’d like to find out more about A-list copywriting techniques, and how to actually apply them properly in your own marketing or writing, in a systematic way, then lookee here for more info on my copywriting education stalwart, Copy Riddles:

https://bejakovic.com/cr

Impoverished wizard tries to sell me, a hobbit, on playing a game

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During the last crescent moon, before I had set out from the Shire on my great quest to the Western Isles, I, Bejako Baggins, was packing my traveling trunk full of cheeses and dried meats, when when an impoverished-looking wizard burst through the doors of my hobbit-hole and held his arms out as if to beg me to hear him out.

I stared at this wizard, both because he had just barged into my hobbit hole, and because he seemed somehow familiar.

And sure enough, I knew him.

This wizard had already burst through my doors once. But back then, his peak hat wasn’t squashed like now, and his cloak wasn’t torn at the sleeve.

Back then, this wizard offered me advice about my circular letter. I had even written about him before, in a letter that became one of my most popular of the past year.

Now the wizard was back, just looking a little beat up. He stood by the door, his arms still up in the air. And he spoke in a deep but cracking voice:

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Bejako Baggins!

I have a proposition for you mate

Don’t turn me to a troll again in one of your circular letters this time!

What do you think of framing the writing of magical sales spells as a Game then creating a ware to teach its principles and rules.

Basically something in those lines:

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

===

The impoverished wizard went on to say how he even had a good name in mind for such a ware. “Let me know what you think mate,” he said.​
​​​
I frowned. I genuinely couldn’t tell if this impoverished wizard was trying to ask me an honest question, or if he was in fact using whatever wizarding skill he had to turn himself into a troll.

In any case, I stepped away from my trunk, and I escorted him to the door.

I told him his idea is marvelous.

We hobbits love games, and we also love learning magical spells.

That’s why, many years ago, I did exactly what he is suggesting now.

I read through many ancient books. I collected hundreds of powerful written sales spells in a great leather-bound tome. I called this tome Copy Riddles. And I turned it into a Game.

I was even fortunate enough to get one of the great wizards of this age, Daniel Throssell the White, to say that Copy Riddles “the most brilliant course concept I’ve ever seen… literally a gamified series of sequential puzzles that teaches you written sales magic.”

If you’d like to find out more about this Game that teaches you how to turn plain written words into magical spells:

https://bejakovic.com/cr

Going ape for agree and amplify

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I’m working on my new 10 Commandments book and that means I’m reaching deep into my journal and processing all the research I’ve collected.

That’s how I came across a great marketing story I should have already used for an email.

This story involves famous ad man George Lois, somebody I’ve already written about in this newsletter.

Lois was a master of dramatization.

Back in 1960 or so, Lois was tasked with creating a commercial for the new Xerox 914 photocopier. The USP was Xerox’s new technology, which used plain paper for printing and made the photocopier easy to use, unlike the steam locomotives that were used until then.

Lois decided to dramatize Xerox’s ease of use by showing a little girl — his own daughter Debbie — using the Xerox 914 to make a photocopy of her doll.

Sure enough, the commercial showed Debbie skipping over to the Xerox machine and pushing two buttons. Out came a photocopy.

Overnight, Xerox became a sensation. But competitors were furious. No photocopier could be that easy to use! They filed complaints with the FCC for deceptive advertising.

When Lois was told of this, he nodded his head and said, “Yes, yes, you’re absolutely right… it was wrong of us to use a little girl to show how easy this machine is to use… we should have used a stupid ape!”

So Lois reshot the commercial, this time with a chimp in place of Debbie, and with officials from the FCC to watch as the chimp made its photocopy, all in one take.

Following this, Xerox became the biggest photocopier company, a huge tech behemoth for decades. They funded research that changed the modern tech landscape (they invented windows, the mouse, laser printers). And then they let Apple and Microsoft eat its lunch.

But! The point of this email is not Xerox’s business incompetence, but George Lois’s advertising competence.

More specifically, the point of this email is the power of agreeing and amplifying — chimp instead of girl — whenever anybody attacks or challenges or even mocks you.

And now I’d like to tell you about my Simple Money Emails training.

This training makes it so easy to write sales emails that even a little girl could do it.

I really hope somebody will challenge me on that, because I have video recordings of an ape that does it as well.

For more information:

https://bejakovic.com/sme

Zero-handclap unsubscriber yawns at my emails

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Another day, another unhappy unsubscriber firing a parting shot.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve written a few emails featuring messages that former readers leave on that default “what made you unsubscribe” screen.

Most people never write anything, but on rare occasion, I find funny f-yous. And since I’ve been featuring these messages in my emails, I’ve been getting them more often. Like the guy who unsubscribed a few days ago and wrote:

“Emails tend to be too long, clever, and polished. Not dangerous enough. Yawn”

I shrugged. It’s all true. All except the dangerous part.

My emails are exactly dangerous enough — for my own tastes. Because I write with myself in mind first and foremost. I write things that I would find interesting and valuable, and then do a final check to see whether this can potentially be interesting and valuable to others as well.

That means sometimes I have genuinely dangerous things to say. Most days I don’t, and I have no intention of forcing it to sound edgy or to entertain jaded readers.

I could and maybe should end this email right here. But I like to write long and polish up my emails, often with concrete examples.

So I went in search of this unsubscriber on the Internet. What kind of dangerous, unpolished, raw writing might he be into?

I was hoping I would find something I could set myself in opposition to, like a dull, stubborn turtle.

I typed his email address into Google and… up came his Medium blog. It’s been live for the past few months. It’s filled with listicles and how-to articles with headlines like:

“The Features-Advantages-Benefits Copywriting Formula”

“Core Principles Of Copywriting”

“The Four C’s Copywriting Formula”

Unsurprisingly, all these posts have zero engagement. No comments, not even any of those Medium handclaps, though from what I understand, the whole point of publishing on Medium rather than your own site is to get free readers to your content.

The fact is, this danger-seeking unsubscriber could benefit from my Simple Money Emails course.

Simple Money Emails doesn’t require writing long, and doesn’t require over-polishing. That’s entirely optional.

What’s not optional is creating interesting content that keeps people reading, engaging, and even buying, without heavy-handed teaching that doesn’t even get a stupid handclap on Medium.

What’s more, if you insist on hard teaching in your content, you can use the strategies I teach inside Simple Money Emails to liven up your boring listicles and how-to articles.

For more information, or to get the course, here’s the (beware) mildly dangerous sales page for Simple Money Emails:

https://bejakovic.com/sme