The only way to evaluate copy

Three wise men doing a copy critique

Professor Skridlov: Father Giovanni, how can you stay here instead of returning to Italy and giving the people there something of the faith which you are now inspiring in me?

Father Giovanni: Ah Professor. You do not understand man’s psyche as well as you know archeology. Faith cannot be given to men. Faith is not the result of thinking. It comes from direct knowledge.

I started re-reading Gene Schwartz’s Breakthrough Advertising. And right on the first page, he offers this warning:

“Copy cannot create desire for a product. It can only take the hopes, dreams, fears and desires in the hearts of millions of people, and focus those already-existing desires on a particular product.”

And here’s another related quote, this from Gary Halbert:

“You know, I’m sick to death of people who can’t be bothered with the little nitty-gritty details of “hands on” experience. Of people who believe that somehow they can know a thing without experiencing it. Listen: It is possible to be “conversant” with something and really not have any kind of “gut understanding” of it at all. I’m sorry, but no matter what your Mommy and Daddy told you, men can never really understand the pain of childbirth, priests cannot comprehend the joys of sex, “normies” can never understand alcoholics, and not one speck of true advertising wisdom has ever been written by a PhD.”

And finally, a bit from a recent Ben Settle email:

“This is, btw, why I don’t do critiques anymore. (Besides the fact I hate doing copywriting critiques) As Doug D’Anna put it in the same interview: ‘How can I offer somebody a copywriting critique on a piece of sales copy for a product or a prospect that I am 100 percent unfamiliar with?'”

Here’s how this ties together in my head.

Nobody can really judge good copy unless they are a prospect and ready to buy. Nice-sounding copy can bomb. Awful copy can sell.

So how do you write good copy? Research is important. So is experience. So is intuition. Then there’s feedback from other experts.

All that stuff is great, but ultimately, none of it is conclusive.

Fortunately, direct response copywriting is one area where we don’t have to agree to disagree. We can know which appeal is best. Even if we cannot see inside people’s hearts, and even though we cannot have their problems (or faith). And that’s simply through sales.

7 types of infotainment to stuff into your information product

Right now, I am writing a book that I will sell through my essential oils site.

I know the subject matter very well, and I could drone on about it even if somebody slapped me awake in the dead of night.

But it’s boring to just hear lots of facts and warnings and instructions, and I worry that my book will turn out dull. Since I want people to actually read this book and to get something out of it, I have to make it fun as well as informative.

Enter infotainment: entertainment combined with information. It’s something I first heard about from email marketing headmaster Ben Settle. So for your benefit as well as mine, here are 7 different types of infotainment you can stuff to make your dry-as-dust information product more exciting:

1. Cartoons

Cartoons. Every few pages. They can be used to add some color, to lighten the mood, and to reinforce a point.

New Zealand marketing guru Sean D’Souza is a master of this. Here’s an example from one of Sean’s articles on infotainment:

2. Vignettes

The New Yroker magazine does this.

Vignettes are like cartoons, but they are smaller, spread over multiple pages, and not directly connected to the surrounding text. Here’s a couple of examples from the Aug. 22, 2016 issue:

3. Stories

Stories stick. They make otherwise boring content interesting. Plus they are fun to read.

I kick off my essential oils book by telling the true story of a 2-year-old boy who got burned in a fire, how his mom used essential oils to help his wounds heal more quickly, and how the surgeons marveled and approved from the sidelines. It’s a great story, and it illustrates the power of essential oils way better than arguing with statistics or hand-waving about anti-inflammatory molecules.

4. Fun break

If you read some of the sales letters by Gary “greatest living copywriter” Bencivenga, you will frequently come across sidebars.

Just like in a magazine, these sidebars serve as a fun break, a chance to talk about something interesting, and to draw attention to it.

For example, in the book I’m writing, while talking about different proven health benefits of lavender essential oil, I have a sidebar that talks about four entirely different locations around the world where lavender is grown.

And I include some local color. One of the places has a mysterious monument that a crusader supposedly set up. Another is a kind of Shangri-La, with perfect weather on an otherwise rainy and cold mountain. A third served as a prison for the last monarch of the Austro-Hungarian empire.

5. Images

Like cartoons. Images are best when they are both relevant and surprising, beautiful and informative. Kind of like the vignettes I included above.

6. Word fun

This is an area where Ben Settle shines. His emails are fun to read, and one of the big reasons why is all the creative and colorful and unexpected language he uses.

Plus they sound super-conversational. In fact, they are more conversational than real conversation.

Poet Anthony Madrid, who writes for the Paris Review, is also a past master at this. Here’s an example:

We take the phrase “once upon a time” for granted, but if you think about it, it’s quite oddball English. Upon a time—? That’s just a strange construction. It would be pleasant to know its history: When, more or less, does it get up on its legs? Around when does it become standard procedure? My researches into this question, however, have yielded nothing conclusive.

7. Analogies

Analogies are like stories: they make boring or preachy content palatable.

A few weeks back, I was working on a probiotics sales page, and I compared probiotics you can buy at the store to mystery meat in a rusty can. For the essential oils book, I’m planning on doing something similar, I just haven’t figured out yet what dangerous-but-familiar image to compare mommy blogs to.

So there you go. 7 ways to infotain. They are formulaic. They are mercenary. And they workses.