Rules Of Thumb

The pros and cons of the “mask of misfortune”

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“Hey what’s your name?”

“Helen.”

“That’s nice. You look like a Helen. Helen, we’re both in sales. Let me tell you why I suck as a salesman.”

Maybe you know this scene. It’s from the movie Tommy Boy.

Chris Farley plays his usual character, “manic fat guy,” trying to make sales to save his family business.

In this scene, Chris is in a diner, trying to order chicken wings. But Helen, the waitress, flatly tells him the kitchen is closed.

Instead of pressing the point, Chris goes on to tell Helen why he sucks as a salesman. He uses a bread roll to illustrate his possible sale:

He loves his possible sale so much, like a pretty new pet, that he ends up ripping it apart — because he’s such a manic fat guy.

It’s a funny scene, worth watching if you haven’t seen it, worth revisiting if you have.

At the end of Chris’s manic fat guy routine, Helen the waitress shakes her head.

“God you’re sick,” she says with a chuckle. “Tell you what. I’ll go turn the fryers back on and throw some wings in for ya.”

The typical conclusion to a story like is — “Share your stories of vulnerability and failure, and magic doors open!”

Maybe. But I’d like to tell you a different conclusion.

Because Chris Farley really was sick. He battled alcoholism and drug use and apparently felt horrible about the weight he always joked about. He ended up dead at age 33, from a combination of cocaine and morphine, though traces of marijuana and antidepressants were also found in his system.

I’m not trying to bring you down. I’m trying to give you some practical advice. Specifically, some practical advice I read in a book called The Narrow Road, by a multimillionaire named Felix Dennis. Says Dennis:

“Donning the mask of misfortune for the amusement of those around you or to elicit sympathy is a perilous activity. You run the risk of the mask fitting a little too well. Or — and I have seen this happen — of becoming the mask.”

In entirely unrelated news:

The deadline to get The Secret of the Magi before the price doubles is tonight, Sunday, at 12 midnight PST.

The Secret of the Magi tells you just one thing — the big takeaway I’ve had about opening conversations that can lead to business partnerships. It’s based on my experiences being both on the receiving end of many cold outreach attempts… and spending this past summer cold contacting a bunch of other people.

Your investment to get The Secret of the Magi is a whopping $23.50. Well, assuming you get it before the deadline, which is, again, tonight at 12 midnight PST.

I won’t be writing any more emails before then. So in case you want this guide, maybe get it now?

It’s up to you. Here’s the link if you want to find out the secret:

​https://bejakovic.com/secret-of-the-magi​

The Golden Triangle of Success

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In software development, a field in which I spent the salad days of my life, there’s a meme known as the Iron Triangle. It’s about how software is developed, and it says:

“Fast, cheap, good — pick two”​​

Yesterday, I fielded interest in a new offer, “Work alongside me to launch or build up your list via paid traffic.”

In a nutshell, I’m about to start building up a new list via paid traffic. And if you like, you can work alongside me to launch or build up your own list… follow the same process I’m following… plus get my feedback and input on your ad copy and lead magnets etc.

I got a good number of people expressing interest in that.

But inevitably, I also had a few people write in, saying they are not sure if they have the money.

To which I thought up a kind of Golden Triangle of Success, similar but different to the Iron Triangle above. The Golden Triangle says:

“Time, effort, money — pick two”

This is similar to the Iron Triangle — because you pick any two for guaranteed success. One will not do.

But it’s also different to the Iron Triangle because this is about requirements on inputs, rather than constraints on outputs.

​​In other words, pick two — or three. You can have all three corners of the Golden Triangle.

But what if you don’t?

What if you don’t have the money corner, specifically?

No shame in that. Was a time when I was in the same situation. You can get up and out of it with enough effort and time.

On the other hand, if you’re simply not sure whether you have the money to invest in an asset like an email list, then the Golden Triangle of Success might give you a different way to look at your situation.

In any case, if you’re interested in the offer I made yesterday, to work alongside me to build up your list, write in and let me know. I want to hear your situation and get your feedback as I decide on the final form of how this will work.

Mercilessly teasing my own mother

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A few weeks ago, I was back home visiting family. Before we started lunch one day, my mother sat me down at the kitchen table. She crossed her arms, and she said:

“Well? Are you going to tell me? I hope you don’t expect me to read that book to find out. So? What is the highest paid quality on earth?”

The story is that my mother has recently taken to reading this newsletter. And the day before the lunch, I had sent out an email about “the highest paid quality on earth.”

I teased that highest paid quality mercilessly in my email. At the end of the email, I still didn’t reveal it. I simply linked to a book where I promised you could find out what the quality is.

(By the way, why tease like this, including your own mother? Good question. I’ll talk about that another time.)

Meanwhile, I got a message from a reader, Howard Shaw. Howard’s a Partner at Chester Toys, a UK toy wholesaler that’s been in business for 60 years.

Howard actually did order and did read the book I linked to at the end of that email.

As a result, he did find out what that most highly paid quality is. But there were consequences.

To tell me about those consequences, Howard sent me a photo of the book lying on his couch. And he wrote under the picture:

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A book I was introduced to recently and that I enthusiastically recommend.

The point of this email? I am not sure.

Although I am currently looking to embrace some situations with enthusiasm, and searching out business options that I may have previously dismissed.

One of these came my way Thursday, and by Friday afternoon had meant a new client and a deposit already in the bank.

So I thank you for taking the time to re-introduce me to my enthusiasm.

===

If you’re a particularly perceptive reader, you may have picked up from Howard’s message what the highest paid quality on earth is.

But does it really matter?

Did you have your mind blown as a result?

Or more likely, are kind of… disappointed?

And yet:

There’s Howard’s story. There’s new client where there was no client before. There’s the new money in the bank where there was less money before.

All of which brings me to the most life-changing idea I’ve been exposed to since I started learning about marketing. It’s this:

“There is an inverse relationship between the value of knowledge and what people are willing to pay for it. The most important things in life you’ve probably heard a hundred times before, but you’re not paying attention. When you’re in the right place and you hear it, you have that ‘aha’ moment and everything changes.”

I write more about that idea, and the A-list copywriter who said it, in my 10 Commandments of A-List Copywriters.

Is this the first time you’re hearing about that book? It might be worth a look then.

Have you heard me talk about this book before? It might be worth a look then.

Here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/10commandments

“So where are we all supposed to go now?”

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A couple days ago, an article on The Verge by David Pierce picked up steam and then really started chugging along, tearing through any obstacles in its path, and demanding the attention and concern even of slack-jawed layabouts who were minding their own business just moments earlier. The title of Pierce’s article:

“So where are we all supposed to go now?”

Pierce was writing about how social media — first Facebook, then Twitter, now Reddit — are dying. And what, he wanted to know, will be next?

I know all about this because I’m a painfully contrary person. After about 20 years of resisting social media, I am now getting on social media full on.

First, I got on Twitter a couple months ago (under a pseudonym). That’s how I came across that runaway Verge article. And I will also most probably get on LinkedIn in the next few days (under my own name).

I figure what others, smarter than I am, have already figured out:

Maybe social media is a cesspool, and maybe it’s now dying to boot. But there are still billions of people on there. I only need a small and select fraction of those people to do very well.

My ultimate goal — as you can probably guess — is to get these people onto my email lists, either this one that you’re reading now, or my new health newsletter. That’s how I can write to them regularly, with something interesting or valuable, and build a relationship, and even do business and exchange money for my offers.

So what will come after Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit? Where are we all supposed to go now?

I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care. Because I use a mental shortcut known as the Lindy Law, which says that you can expect technology to survive on average as long as it’s already been around.

Email has been around for 52 years, longer than the Internet as we know it.

Will email still be around 52 years from now? Who knows. I figure its odds are better than any new technology that comes out today or tomorrow.

But you probably knew all this before. What you might not know — something that surprised me yesterday — is that there’s an email platform called Beehiiv.

I promoted Beehiiv in my email yesterday, and I gave people a bit of a carrot-and-stick to sign up for a free account on Beehiiv using my affiliate link.

I got lots of people taking me up on the offer, and I got lots of people thanking me for cluing them in to Beehiiv. That’s the part that was surprising to me — so many people had not heard of Beehiiv before.

I personally use Beehiiv, I’m very happy with it, and that’s why I’m happy to recommend it. As for why you might want to try it for your new newsletter or project, here’s my best case for that:

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Beehiiv is slick and it has a buncha tools that other email providers don’t have. Like a nice-looking website, straight out of the box, that doubles as your email archive. A referral program. Recommendations from and to other newsletters. An ad network if you want to monetize your newsletter that way.

Just as important:

More than any other email platform I’ve directly used or indirectly heard about, Beehiiv is stable and reliable. It doesn’t crash. It doesn’t lock up. It doesn’t fail to send out emails you meant to send and it doesn’t sneakily send out emails you didn’t mean to send.

But really, try it out for yourself and see. Maybe it’s not for you. Or maybe you will love it.

There’s no risk either way. Because Beehiiv is free to start using and to continue using indefinitely — for sending emails and for the website.

You only have to pay something if you wanna upgrade to some of the fancier growth and monetization tools — which I’ve done, because it’s well-worth the money for me, and because I’ve decided to stick with Beehiiv for the long term.

So like I said, I encourage you to give it a try. But—

I know that encouragement, and good arguments, and lists of shiny features, are often not enough to get people to move.

So I’ll give you a bit of a carrot-and-stick too.

Over the past two months, I’ve grown my new newsletter from 73 subscribers to 1,109 subscribers.

And if you try out Beehiiv using my affiliate link, I will send you a recording in which I talk about all the stuff I’ve done to grow that newsletter — what’s worked, what hasn’t, what I plan to do going forward. (I’ll even tell you some stuff I’m planning to do to grow this daily marketing newsletter that you’re reading right now.)

Also, here’s another thing I promise to give you:

I had some deliverability problems early on with my new newsletter. It turned out not to be Beehiiv’s fault. Rather it was that I had failed to set up my DNS right. I fixed that, and my deliverability problems got fixed. But I went one further.

I also came up with a little trick to increase my deliverability going forward and even to increase my open rates.

This trick has nothing to do with DMARC or DKIM records. It has nothing to do with trying to game Gmail. It’s just plain old marketing and psychology. And it’s allowed me to actually increase my open rates while my list has grown quickly and sizeably.

This trick is not complicated — it takes all of five minutes to implement.

And if you take me up on my offer and try out Beehiiv, I will send you a quick writeup of exactly what I did, and how you can do it too, to have the kinds of deliverability and reader engagement that other newsletters can only wonder at.

So that’s the carrot. The stick, or the threat of it, is that there’s a deadline, 24 hours from now, at 8:31pm CET on Thursday, July 6.

If you’re interested, here’s what to do:

1. Head to Beehiiv using this link: https://bejakovic.com/beehiiv

2. Sign up for a free account. You don’t have to sign up for anything paid. I am counting on Beehiiv’s quality and service to convince you to do that over time.

3. Once you’ve signed up, forward me the confirmation email you get from Beehiiv — and I will reply to you with 1) the recording listing all the things I’ve done and will be doing to grow my new newsletter and 2) a write up of my little deliverability and email open trick. Do it before the deadline — 8:31pm CET on Thursday, July 6 — and you get the carrot, and not the stick. ​​

“The one thing all my mentors have in common”

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This past Sunday, Novak Djokovic won the French Open and his 23 Grand Slam title — a big deal in the tennis world.

​​On Monday, in an off moment, I decided to check if there were any interesting news or interviews with Djokovic following the French Open.

I automatically headed to the r/tennis subreddit on Reddit. But in place of the usual page with tennis links and videos, I was hit with a blank page and the following notice:

“r/tennis is joining the Reddit blackout from June 12th to 14th, to protest the planned API changes that will kill 3rd party apps”

Perhaps you’ve heard:

Reddit the company, which is basically thousands of different news boards, is experiencing a kind of strike. Special Reddit users — mods — who control the different news boards are protesting Reddit’s proposed policy changes. As a result, they’ve basically made the site unusable for hundreds of millions of users.

I haven’t been following the drama. But apparently, as of yesterday, Reddit’s CEO said he plans to go ahead with the policy changes. To which many mods decided to extend the strike from 2-3 days, as originally planned, to indefinite.

All this reminded me of email conversation I recently had with Glenn Osborn.
​
​Glenn is a curious creature. Once upon a time, Glenn attended 15 of Jay Abraham’s $15k marketing seminars by bartering his way in.

​​He also went to one of Gary Halbert’s copywriting seminars in Key West, and watched Gary go up on stage with that “Clients Suck” hat.

​​These days, Glenn writes an email newsletter called “Billionaire Idea Testing Club” about influence tricks he spots from people like Taylor Swift and James Patterson and J.K. Rowling.

For reasons of his own, Glenn likes to reply to my emails on occasion and send me valuable ideas. A few weeks ago, Glenn wrote me with some things he had learned directly and indirectly from Clayton Makepeace and Gary Halbert and Jay Abraham.

​​Good stuff. But then, in a PS, Glenn added the following:

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P.S. -For Consulting Clients I Do ALL THE Work F-O-R them – MYSELF and thru staffers.

CONTROL is the one thing all my Mentors Have in Common. If You Don’t CONTROL what you do You Cannot Make Munny.

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That last idea definitely stood out to me.

There are so many ways to be successful in any field. And contradicting strategies will often produce equally good results.

But a very few things are non-negotiable. You could call those the rules of the system. Perhaps CONTROL is one of them.

At this point I would normally refer you to Glenn’s newsletter in case you want to read it yourself. ​​But as Glenn himself says, “My ARCHIVE Is By-Referral-Only – Too ADVANCED to Toss Strangers into.”

If you are determined, then a bit of Googling, based on what I’ve told you above, will lead you to Glenn’s optin page and his unusual but valuable newsletter.

And in case you yourself want to want to write an unusual but valuable newsletter, the following can help:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/

Famous showman advises you to stop bla— well, let me stop myself there

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Back in the 19th century, famous ringmaster P.T. Barnum made good money going around the country and giving a talk titled, The Art of Money-Getting.

Barnum knew a thing or two about money-getting.

​​He built up a large fortune, worth several hundred million dollars today, starting from nothing, using nothing except his own wits. And he did it a few times over, including after being forced into bankruptcy by cheating business partners and disastrous Acts of God.

Anyways, here’s a bit from Barnum’s Art of Money-Getting:

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Don’t blab. Some men have a foolish habit of telling their business secrets. If they make money they like to tell their neighbors how it was done. Nothing is gained by this, and ofttimes much is lost. Say nothing about your profits, your hopes, your expectations, your intentions.

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Not long ago, I asked readers of this newsletter which of my emails came to mind first.

I got lots of responses, and also some surprising extra information.

Many people used the word “transparent.” They said they liked my emails because of how transparent I am.

​​I guess they meant transparent about my business, because I don’t make any effort to be transparent about my personal stuff. Rather, I sometimes make an effort to be opaque about that.

So maybe Barnum speaking to me. Stop being so transparent, Bejako.

Or maybe he was speaking to you.

Don’t blab, dear reader. And if you do decide to share your money-getting business secrets, make sure something fine is gained by it, and not just a back-slap from your neighbors.

At this point in my email newsletter, I had a special offer for my readers. That’s not an offer I ever make on this website, in the archived version of my email — because I don’t like to blab about it publicly. In case you would like to get on my email newsletter, to get the full story I am writing each day, you can click here and sign up.

Dildos and a sex swing: Just another reply to one of my emails

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Back in May, I got a strange reply to an email in which I wrote about a storytelling technique. The reply started:

Pervert.

I see you standing outside. Looking through my window.

**I invite you in​​**

“Press the doorbell”, I say.

DING, DONG. You press it.

This reply went on, talking about what I supposedly saw when I entered this guy’s house — dildos, a man in a gimp suit, and a sex swing.

I sighed. Sometimes I get people responding to my emails with some unsolicited spec copy, trying to demonstrate they really understood the idea I shared in the email. This spec copy is always a bit bizarre and not quite enjoyable to read. I thought that’s what this reply was also. But I was wrong.

After skimming through this unsolicited story, I got to the end:

You rudely interrupt me…

“I’m sorry, but what the fuck even is this? And who are you?”

Allow me to introduce myself properly, I state in a strong British accent whilst smoking a cigarette, coughing slightly and holding a pint of beer.

My name is Michael Johnson

And I am the greatest V.A that ever lived.

The greatest!

I can help you with many of the tasks you need doing and make your life easier.

Let’s setup a time to talk.

Aha. This actually surprised me, in a positive way. I wrote to the guy to say I don’t need a VA, but that he had some copy chops, and that I wish him luck.

And then, last week, as you might know, I sent out a newsletter email with a job advertisement in it. I was looking for somebody like a VA, but ideally, somebody who would also have some copy chops.

So the question becomes, why didn’t I just contact that guy who replied to my email back in May? He seemed to be perfect — or at least a very good — fit for what I was looking for.

Why ignore him, and why instead go to my list, and to the two dozen applications it produced?

I read a bit of paranoid wisdom once. I can’t remember where, or who wrote it. Maybe you will recognize it and can tell me where it’s from. It goes something like this:

Don’t be part of anybody else’s agenda. If somebody unknown approaches you, you are by default part of their agenda.

That’s not to say you should never start new relationships or do business with strangers.

But it does say that if you see a sexy ad on your Instagram feed… or you get a cold email from somebody with an attractive offer… then there are probably many more people who are willing to make a similar offer. Sometimes, that first ad or cold email will really be the best option for you. But many times it won’t.

In the pickup/seduction/dating advice world, there’s a saying:

if you’re not one of the chosen, become one of the choosers.

What I’m telling you is that, even if you are one of the chosen — or you appear to be — it often makes sense to do a bit of extra work, and to become one of the choosers. At least that’s what I find in my own life.

All right, on to my offer for you for today.

Today, as for the past 10 days, and probably for a few days more, I am promoting my Most Valuable Email course.

That’s my agenda for you. But don’t be part of my agenda.

Take a look around. See if you can find anybody else offering to help you build authority in the direct response industry… grow your email list by word-of-mouth alone… and turn yourself into a more valuable marketer and copywriter — all with a simple email copywriting trick that you can learn in under an hour.

If you do find somebody like that, maybe this person will be a better choice for you than me, and my Most Valuable Email training.

But if your search turns up fruitless, and if you decide you would like those benefits, and you would like them from me, then can get my Most Valuable Email course here:

https://bejakovic.com/mve/

A followup to my Trump prediction from last year

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Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote an email for my email newsletter where I predicted that Trump would lose the election. My arguments were based on three persuasion “first principles”:

1. People vote against the other guy rather than for their guy

2. The only thing that disqualifies you from becoming president are looking annoying or having a fucked up name

3. People care more about getting out of hell than about getting into (or staying in) heaven

I remembered my prediction today because I read an article about a guy named Gerd Gigerenzer. Gigerenzer is a psychologist and he studies how simple rules of thumb often outperform complex data-driven predictions. There’s apparently a lot of interest in Gigerenzer’s work in the world of healthcare and finance and I suppose political modeling.

Makes sense to me. After all, I’m 1-for-1 with my political predictions based on simple rules of thumb.

Which got me thinking…

Perhaps you should write down a list of rules of thumb you yourself find useful. In your personal life… in your business life… for managing your own bad self. Perhaps force yourself to explicitly state how you make choices and predictions… because you might be able to rely on those same rules of thumb in other situations, too.

Perhaps I should do the same. In fact, I started writing down exactly such a list today. But then I remebered something else. Last summer, I had actually created this very thing.

Back then I called it, “My 10 direct response fundamentals that work almost any time.” You can find them at the link below.

There’s nothing very shocking here. But perhaps these rules can help you make a better marketing decision next time… or avoid a stupid mistake that you will hate yourself for. Here’s the link:

https://bejakovic.com/second-hand-news-my-10-direct-response-fundamentals-that-work-almost-any-time/

Second hand news: My 10 direct response fundamentals that work almost any time

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Do direct response prospects still respond to “How to” headlines?

Or is it better to strip off the “How to” and give them a command?

I decided to test this out. The results were instructive, but not in the way you might expect.

Anyways, ​​I don’t have a live sales letter running, but I do have several large email lists that I can send A/B-split emails to.

So I prepared one email with a “How to” subject line and identical “How to” CTA text. The other subject line and CTA were the same, except if you imagine a pitbull came and ripped the “How to” part to shreds.

Result?

The “How to” variant had marginally lower open rates… marginally lower clickthrough rates… and marginally higher total sales.

In other words, a total testing washout. I repeated the test a couple days in a row, and same crabstick.

You might not be surprised. In fact, you might think this is a perfect example of testing “whispers” — irrelevant details that don’t really move the sales needle.

I agree. The only reason I tested this is because I was told, on very good authority by a very successful copywriter, that “How to” headlines, much like a love affair between Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, are a nostalgic throwback to the 70s. In other words, second hand news.

Maybe you think I’m wasting your time, but there’s a bigger point here.

After doing this copywriting stuff for a while, after reading a bunch of books, watching a bunch of courses, talking to other copywriters, and most importantly, writing copy and seeing the results of actual campaigns, I’ve come to a couple conclusions.

First, top copywriters really do produce better copy and get better results. But much of the specific copywriting advice out there — “Don’t use ‘How to’ headlines in today’s market” — is really unproven intuition or personal preference.

My other conclusion is that there are just a few direct response fundamentals that really matter, and that really work in almost any context. I wrote down 10 of them. (It was hard to get to 10.)

When in doubt, I will go back to these 10 ideas. If you want, I’m sharing them with you below. You’re unlikely to find something surprising or new here. But you might find a good reminder — and that’s really what the point is. Anyways, here’s the list:

1. Markets are problems. Address problems.

2. Curiosity works to get people’s attention, and to keep people’s attention.

3. Start where the reader is. Positioning is probably the most important decision you can make.

4. Accept that you don’t have the reader’s full attention and that the channel is noisy. Adjust your marketing and your copy for this.

5. What you say is more important than how you say it.

6. Concrete beats abstract. Stories beat sermons.

7. It’s a numbers game. The best you can do is make an educated guess. Or better yet, several educated guesses.

8. Your copy can probably use more drama than it currently has.

9. New sells real well. New product. New mechanism. New understanding.

10. Give people a way to justify making this purchase. Justifications can be proof… or another dimension of benefits… or a risk-free offer.

I’m back. Just to tell you one last instructive thing. I write a daily email newsletter. If you want to read more of what I write as it comes out, then one option is to subscribe to that newsletter. If you want, here’s where to sign up.